Ch 2
Ron woke up with some confusion to why his neck was so stiff, but as he opened his eyes he realized that all three of them had fallen asleep in George's living room the night before.
"Damn," he said softly, spotting the now-empty bottle of Firewhisky on the coffee table. "This was nearly full when I got here last night."
He glanced back at the two still sleeping, his heart both concerned and aggravated. What could he do to help them? He knew he'd only had a sip, so between the two of them they'd had a lot to drink. Was George back on the road to being a drunken bastard again? And being as tiny as she was how was it even possible for Hermione to drink that much?
Glancing at his watch he realized he had about 45 minutes until he needed to open the shop. So, he scrawled a note out and left it on the table before disapperating home to shower and have breakfast before getting to work.
By the time lunchtime had rolled around, Ron was getting concerned about George and Hermione. Neither had popped down to see him or sent him an owl, and he was worried that they were both still asleep. Throwing a sign on the front door that said "Back in 5 minutes," he popped up to the flat to check on them. Instead of the sleeping, hungover scene he expected, he was quite caught off guard to see both of them up and very alert and both examining a series of parchments spread across the coffee table and floor.
"Afternoon," Ron ventured. "Hadn't heard a peep out of either of you and wanted to be sure you were both ok."
"Thanks, Ron," Hermione said. "We're good. We used some of George's hangover potion and both nibbled on some bread and tea, so we feel fine, don't we George?"
"Yup. Fit as fiddles," he piped cheerily. So cheerily, in fact, that Ron wondered for a moment if he had taken some drugs or been hit with a charm of some kind.
Glancing nervously between the two, Ron finally sighed and said, "Well, glad you're ok. I guess I need to get back to work then. I'll just grab a sandwich first."
"Oh, I'll make you one and bring it down," said Hermione. "I meant to earlier, but I lost track of time again."
Ron nodded, but thought to himself that before this year, and excluding libraries, he could have counted on one finger the number of times Hermione had lost track of time, but it now seemed a regular occurrence. Maybe he should mention it to Becky or Healer Helen to see if it was cause to be concerned? But, she seemed ok, energetic even, so he pushed the thought aside and went back to work.
There was no denying that Ron had been beyond shocked when George and Hermione explained to him their plan to have a massive birthday party on April 1st. He'd asked George several times if he was sure he was up for it, but George finally snapped and said, "you can keep asking, but the answer will not change, Ron, so drop it."
He'd tried to broach the subject with Hermione as well to see if she could check on him, but she, in no uncertain terms, had said that this was something George needed to do for himself and for Fred and that Ron needed to back off. And while Ron had stopped bringing it up, he had not stopped worrying about it.
Oddly, the timing actually worked well as April 1st fell on a Saturday, and both Ginny and Charlie had planned to be home for it. Ron knew the shop really needed to be open and celebrate April Fool's Day this year despite the fact that George wouldn't be there. So, despite the utter dread of knowing how exhausted he would be, he agreed to it all and just mentally planned on collapsing come that Sunday afternoon. They would still have a few weeks after that before Easter and the kids all being home from Hogwarts for their term break.
As the date crept closer, he was increasingly baffled at how enthusiastic everyone was about the impending "FredFest." Even his dad had stopped by the shop to chat about how energized his mum was about the chance to cook for all their friends and have a fun celebration on what would have been a tough day.
Ron had shot his dad a look and finally asked, "But don't you think it will still be a tough day, Dad? I have to admit, I am worried this will all implode in rather spectacular fashion."
Arthur had been his typical measured optimistic self. "Well, Ron, even if the day is a disaster, having seen your mum this chipper in the days leading up to it, I would still call it a success. And I would say the same for George. He seems excited about it, like he did when you first re-opened the shop. And if no other good comes from it, I still think it was worth it."
"Fair point," Ron nodded. "I just don't want to see him set himself up for another freefall. I am not sure he could take it. Or if I could either."
"Ron," Arthur had said lovingly, his hand on Ron's shoulder. "If he does have a freefall, then it is only because you helped him get high enough up to fall down. And this time, if it does happen, I promise you that there will be more of there to help him back up."
"I can't stand to see him hurt, Dad," Ron said, blinking furiously to avoid tears. "He's come so far but is still so fragile."
"I know, son," sighed Arthur. "But, sometimes we have to let those we love make their own choices, risk their own hearts and take chances that we aren't ready for. When I look back at the twins over the years, there are many, many, many," he emphasized with a chuckle, "things I didn't want them to do for fear of them getting hurt. But it all became part of who they were. They would never have built this amazing business or brought joy to so many or helped fight darkness the way they did if not for learning from all those risks they took in the years before that."
"But how did you stand it, Dad? To just stand there and watch them risk everything when you knew perfectly well what could happen?"
"Well, Ron, it wasn't just them, of course. Each of you children aged our hearts by making your own choices. But, well, we're Gryffindors, right? Courage runs in the family more than even red hair," he laughed. "It takes courage to love someone enough to let them live their own life. But your mum and I love you enough to let you be you. It's the hardest part of being a parent. And you have loved your friends and family so well, Ron. We are so proud of you. But this is the hard part – you have to let them make their own choices."
"But, what..."
"Ron, do you think your mum or I believed that you and Hermione running off with Harry in the middle of a war was a sensible plan? Do you think we thought you'd even survive long enough to learn the lesson?" Arthur said, with so much emotion that his cheeks turned pink and eyes watered. "Son, it was one of the absolute hardest things I have ever done, and I've had some humdingers. You have to let him do this. And if it goes badly, then we help. But you can't take the decision away from him – he's had too much taken from him already."
Ron watched his dad and simply nodded, "Ok."
"Good man," Arthur had said, patting his back gently before leaving.
April first arrived whether Ron was prepared for it or not. And, as predicted, it had been a whirlwind of a day at the shop. George had said he couldn't work that day, so Ron was planning to go it alone for the big sale. But, before the store opened at 10, the most unlikely cavalry arrived in the form of Percy and Charlie with offers to help.
"Well, I certainly won't turn you down," said a shocked Ron. "But are you sure Mum doesn't need you at The Burrow to get ready for the party?"
Percy laughed in that tight-lipped Percy manner and said, "Mum thinks she needs help, but when she said something about cleaning out a chicken coop I realized that she just wanted people around and busy. I think we are probably more needed here from the looks of it," he said, gesturing towards the queue already forming at the front door of the shop.
"Well, cheers. I appreciate it. Let's see, Perc, let's put you at the till as you'll keep everyone in order and not get the numbers jumbled no matter how crazy it gets in here. Charlie, how about I show you where we keep all the stock and as inventory runs low you can keep restocking the shelves, alright? And then I'll be out on the floor answering questions and helping folks since I know the products better."
"Sounds like a plan, little brother," grinned Charlie.
"Yeah," laughed Ron. "Just don't scare the little kids with your dragon wrangling stories."
"Who, me?" feigned Charlie, flexing his bicep to prompt his Welsh Green Dragon tattoo to blow flames across his arm.
"Blimey, Merlin help us," laughed Ron.
As expected, the sale was both a mad house and a total success. By the time they closed up that evening, the three brothers were exhausted on their feet, and the till was full of galleons.
"Well," smiled Percy as he tallied the day's sales, "If this wouldn't have made Fred smile today, I don't know what would have."
"You're doing a great job, Ron," said Charlie earnestly. "I really had no idea how much you had basically taken the business over."
"Well, don't get the wrong idea. I'm just helping on the business side, the products are all from the twins."
"Don't sell yourself short, Ron. You're good at this. And the store wouldn't be open without you," said Charlie.
"Well, I've enjoyed it. I've learned a ton – from Rocks, from Hermione's dad and from just making mistakes and figuring it out I suppose."
"Are you still thinking you'll be an auror eventually or is this becoming so enjoyable that you see yourself doing it long term?"
Ron shrugged, not answering immediately, but both of his older brothers waited him out.
"Well," he finally sighed, "I don't know anymore. I like it. I'm pretty good at it. Seems to be what life has given me. And it is really hard to picture being at a place where I could leave both Hermione and George for as long as I would need to go to auror training. And that doesn't even address whether or not I would be any good at it."
"Well, Ronald," Percy said thoughtfully. "That is an incredibly mature, and an incredibly stupid response, if I do say so myself."
"Yeah," laughed Charlie. "What he said."
"Come on, you two. Be realistic. Not counting the near misses during the war, both of them have been really fragile the last few years. Neither of them are who they were before. And, while I don't begrudge it, I couldn't leave either of them right now."
"But you have to live your own life, too, Ron. Otherwise you're setting yourself up for misery in the long run," said Percy.
"Well, my longest dream – even before being an auror – was to be with Hermione. Nothing tops that. And when she's good, I'm good. So, really, even if George wasn't in the picture, whatever life I can have with her is the one I want. If that make me sound like an utter sop, then so be it. And she'll get stronger again. Just not yet."
"Well, we are both happy to help with George – and Hermione."
"Thanks, guys. Really. But you both have your jobs that are important, and Charlie, you live in another country."
"Fair point."
"But I don't, and while work days are hard, I could help out on weekends and evenings."
"It's ok. Really, I appreciate the offer. And if I hit another pinch like today, I will take you up on it. But in general we're fine. I'm hoping George will perk up a bit so to speak after we get through the anniversary. He was doing really well for a while, and I'm hoping he will get back to it."
"Fair enough," Percy said.
"Speaking of perking up," Charlie said. "George seemed earnestly excited about today. I was surprised, but it is great to see him working to honor Freddie like this."
"Yeah, I was shocked when he said that he wanted to do this, but it has got him energized to be sure," Ron admitted.
"Well, I hope it lives up to what George wants. But, either way, it's about to start. You two ready?"
"Ready or not, it's time," smiled Ron. And with that, the brothers headed to The Burrow to see whatever chaos, fun or disaster lay ahead.
The party had been a hit, and The Burrow was overflowing with slightly pissed Gryffindors and a spattering of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws spanning the ages of all of Ron's siblings. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen such a large group of happy people together at once. As he reflected on it, every time he was with a large crowd it had been for some somber affair like a funeral or memorial of some kind. But tonight was nothing like that.
Molly had cooked and cooked and cooked and was bursting in happiness at all of the young people she could feed and love over. And Ron realized it was a crowd of folks who could all use a little mothering. Not a single person had made it through the war unscathed. Not everyone lost a family member – but everyone had lost friends. And, in coming of age in a time of war, all of them had lost their childhoods, their adolescence and their innocence. So, it was not a gathering of obliviously happy twenty somethings like you would see in some muggle movie. This gathering was of people who had survived, who knew pain, and were all desperately clinging on to an excuse to celebrate life and joy in a safe place. And letting lose definitely seemed to be on the agenda for the evening.
Ron was leaning against the fence rail in the back field where the party was still in full force. He was nursing a butterbeer and simply watching the chaos when Hermione appeared from the fray and snuggled up to his side.
"Hey there, stranger," she said, her cheeks flushed from alcohol and dancing.
"Hey there, yourself," he said, bending to kiss the top of her head. "Having fun?"
"Most definitely. Are you?"
"Yeah, it's fun watching everyone let loose for once. Even the rule followers," he teased.
"Hey now, that sounded like you were trying to insinuate I am breaking rules, which I most assuredly am not," she huffed defensively.
"Whoa," he laughed, hands up in defense. "I didn't mean to offend. It was just an amusing observation."
"Well," she said, easing up slightly, "this is totally different than at school. And I wasn't such a horrible party pooper was I?" she asked earnestly.
"No, Love, you weren't. A strict prefect to balance out my less than strict prefect self, maybe. But not a party pooper."
"Hmm, we're a good pair, you're saying?" she sighed, leaning against his chest.
"Oh yeah," he said, his arm snaking sound her waist to hold her closer to him. "And I don't think there could have been a party like this back then. People weren't happy enough. So this is pretty great."
"Yeah, it is. And George seems happier than I've seen him in ages."
"Yeah," Ron nodded. "Hey – where is he? Haven't seen him in a bit."
"Well," Hermione said in a tone betraying that she knew where he was. "Dunno, maybe he went off with Lee or something."
"What do you know?" Ron said, pinching her side teasingly.
Before she could answer, fireworks began to unfurl across the sky. He looked at her, but she just gave a smirking shrug.
Finally she smiled and tugged at his arm, "Come on, I think these will last a while. Let's enjoy them properly."
She unfurled a blanket and soon they were laying down watching the sky erupt in color. Others quickly followed suit, and before long most of the crowd was on the ground oohing and aaahing as a massive display of Fred and George's most explosive creations fancied across the night sky. There were many "WWW" logos, patronuses and glorious bursts of colored quaffles. But the clear crowd favorite was the exploding Umbridge fireworks that started as a pink face and exploded into a green frog before getting beaten by orange broomsticks.
With Hermione's head resting on the crook of his arm and her body curled against his, Ron looked up at the fireworks and stars above and exhaled contentedly for the first time in what felt like a very long time. As the show came to an end, he went to stand again, but Hermione tugged his arm to keep him on the ground.
"I'm not ready to move just yet," she said teasingly. "And since you're my pillow, I am sorry to say you are just going to have to stay here with me."
"Hermione," he laughed uncomfortably. "You must be really pissed because it sounds an awful lot like you want me to snog you here in this field in front of our friends and family."
She shrugged against him as her hands drifted across the front of his trousers. "It's not like they think we just hold hands, you know. And its dark, and we're off to the edge, and if you'll notice, most everyone else has paired off too."
"I'm not gonna shag you in the field, Hermione," he said, with a tinge of annoyance in his voice. "Someone has to take care of things at the party. I don't want Mum and Dad worrying about whether or not people are fit to apperate."
"Ron. Everyone here is an adult. You're parents have gone to bed – I saw them watching the fireworks from the house. And we can all clean up in the morning. Why are you being such a party pooper? I thought that had been my role and that we were all glad I grew out of it. Loosen up!"
He was sitting now, her head still on the blanket, but her cheeks flushed with alcohol, lust or fury – he just wasn't sure which. He gawked at her, wondering what alternate universe he had managed to find himself in.
"Don't be dramatic, Hermione. I just want to be sure no one gets hurt is all. And trust me, I am more than happy to shag you – just not here. I don't want you to regret it in the morning."
"I may have had more drinks than usual, Ron, but I am not so tipsy I can't speak for myself, so please don't try to tell me what I do and don't want. What is going on with you? Why are you so grumpy?"
"I'm not grumpy!" he said, his voice rising a bit higher than he'd intended. "I'm just tired of...just tired of...oh bollocks, I don't know anymore. I'm just tired. And I don't want to see you regret things, and I want to keep an eye on George because as happy as he looks right now, there is no way this night is going to end well."
At this she sat up. "Why do you say that? I think he's done amazingly well tonight. Look at him – he, Lee, Angelina, Katie – they're having a blast telling stories and remembering Fred like he'd wanted to."
"I know, but you know he's going to crack at some point tonight, right?"
"No, I most certainly don't know that. I know it's a possibility – a possibility for any of us, really. But it's also possible tonight will be great for him."
"You don't know him like I do, Hermione. He can't handle this kind of thing yet. It's still too raw. I mean – look at him. How in the hell is flirting with Fred's old girlfriend going to end in anything but disaster?"
"Ron, I know he's your brother and your theoretical boss, but I know him too, you know? And first of all, this is helping, even if it makes him cry. Second, Angelina and Fred hadn't dated in YEARS. And I always sorta thought her and George were flirting from afar, so you need to snap out of it and let him live his life."
"Let him live his life? Are you serious right now?"
"Yes, I most certainly am. Let him live his life."
"If it wasn't for me he wouldn't even have a life right now. He'd have offed himself that first summer, or he would be broke and living at The Burrow. So don't lecture me about me letting my brother live his fucking life."
"Excuse me?" she practically hissed, popping up to her feet so she could look sown at him, still seated on the picnic blanket. "I didn't realize we were keeping tabs on helping out the people we love."
"No – Hermione, that's not what I – I mean, you know I don't mean it that way," he said as he stood up.
"No, Ron, I'm not sure I do know that," she said sharply, fury and hurt in her eyes.
"Come on, Hermione. Look, I didn't mean it to come across like that. I love him, you know that. And I'd do anything for him, which you also know. I'm just worried about him. I can see this thing with Ange ending badly, and I know that if that happens I will need to help put the pieces back together again. You know - at the shop, building him back up – that sort of thing. And I am worn out. I just don't want to see him go down that path of pain if it's something we can so easily avoid."
A chorus of laughter came from across the field, and they both saw George, Angelina, Lee and Katie laughing hilariously together, Angelina's hand held firmly in George's. Ron cringed, and Hermione sighed.
"You need to be very, very careful, Ronald Weasley. You absolutely cannot try to manipulate things that aren't yours to begin with. You need to let George and Angie explore this on their own; it will be hard enough with the baggage they already have, so don't be piling anything else on top."
"That's not fair, Hermione. You know damn well I am not meddling in his fucking life. But our lives are a bit intertwined, yeah? I've put all my fucking dreams on hold for other people, but no one seems to give a shit about me living my own fucking life. No, no – ickleRonniekins wouldn't amount to anything anyway, he might as well be the one to hang around and clean up George's life."
She stared at him, her mouth agape, tears burning her eyes. She blinked furiously trying to keep them from falling, but lost that battle. "Why don't you just go ahead and say what you really want to say, Ron?"
"What? I already did – that I want George to be careful because I don't want to see him get hurt? That's what I want!"
"No – no, Ron – you made perfectly clear what you want. You want to live your own fucking life without the baggage of everyone else keeping you from your dreams, whether that's George - or what you're really thinking – that it's me."
"What? No, Hermione, that's out of line. You know I love you. I'd do anything for you."
"I know you love me, Ron. And I know you'd do anything for me. But, you don't see us equals anymore do you? You haven't since the war. I've been so messed up, and you've been this fucking martyr. I don't want a babysitter or a sodding martyr! I want my boyfriend. I want a partner. I want my Ron, and he's been missing a long time," she said, her voice falling to a broken whisper as her voice cracked into a sob on the last word.
"Hermione, that couldn't be further from the truth," Ron said softly as he reached for her. But she jerked her arm away from him. Alarmed, Ron spoke up, "Hermione, you and I have always helped each other; we've always pulled each other along. Sometimes it is you carrying me and sometimes it's me carrying you, but we always even out in the long run."
"Do we? Because since the war it seems to me that you have had to do a lot of the carrying, and that was wonderful and scary and overwhelming all at once. And I have said from the beginning that I never wanted to be anything but your partner. But these days I don't always feel like that, and if we're being honest with each other, I don't think you feel like that either."
"Hermione," he said, panic building in his voice. "I love you. Please tell me you've never doubted that."
"I know," she said, tears pouring down her cheeks. "I've never doubted that for even one minute."
"Thank Merlin," he sighed.
"And you know I love you just as fiercely."
Ron nodded as he cringed, "I do. Hermione, we're ok. I promise. We love each other. I think we're both just a tad pissed, and I've clearly been working too many hours at the shop. Let's just stop bickering and talk about this when we both have clearer heads, yeah?"
"No, Ron. I don't think that's it. I think you're just finally tired enough to let how you're really feeling slip out."
"Hermione," he said in both panic and annoyance. "Please, please let's go home and talk about this tomorrow? Please? I don't want to say the wrong things or have you think I mean one thing when I mean something else. Please? I'm already worried about George tonight so I'm obviously not thinking all that clearly anyway."
She looked at him sadly. "Right. You're right. We'll talk about this another day. But, Ron, we will talk about this again soon. Even if we don't tackle this tonight, we both know this elephant is in the room."
"What?" he said looking around nervously. "What elephant? What are you talking about?"
"Ugh! Stupid muggle phrase – I can't believe I still don't know which ones you'll not get."
"Huh?"
"Never mind. Just – just promise me you'll let George and Angie be tonight, alright?"
He nodded, "I promise."
"Right then. Well, I'm going to go find Gin and make sure the food and drink tables are still stocked up."
"Want help?"
"No," she said strongly. "I can handle it perfectly well myself, thanks."
And with that she turned and strode purposefully over to where Ron saw Ginny and Potter wrapped around each other leaning against a tree. He winced as he saw her yank on his sister's arm and drag her away from his best mate much to the complaint of both of them.
"Shut it, Gin. Come on," Hermione said and tugged her along.
Gin just turned back to Harry and gave him a shrug. Without missing a beat, Harry turned his eyes to Ron, closed his eyes and shook his head.
"Fuck," Ron cursed.
He'd hoped they would get to talk later that evening, but when he finally headed back to Grimmauld Place because he knew he needed to sleep before opening up the shop the next morning, Hermione said she was going to stay, help clean up and thought it would be easier if she stayed at The Burrow that night.
He'd hoped he'd see her in the morning before work, but she hadn't been home yet. He got an owl at the shop later that day saying his mum wanted everyone for dinner that evening to have time as a family before Charlie headed back to Romania and Ginny headed back to training. Shortly after that, he received another owl – this one from Hermione – saying she was going over early to help out and would just see him at The Burrow when he got there. Ron just grimaced realizing he wouldn't get any time alone with Hermione that whole weekend.