Ch 3

As fate would have it, a family with five children came in five minutes before the shop was scheduled to close, so Ron was stuck at the shop almost half an hour later than expected. He'd hoped to be able to at least see Hermione for a few minutes before dinner, but as it was he ended up stepping through the floo with only time to wash his hands before supper. But, despite his late arrival, he was able to ensure he was in his "regular" seat next to Hermione at the extended table. She smiled warmly at him, but he still felt like he needed to assure himself – and hopefully her - that they were ok.

He pulled her chair out for her and smiled at her as he kissed her cheek, "Hi, stranger."

"Hi," she smiled, though he could feel there was a lot she wasn't saying.

"I missed you today."

"Me too," she said. "Busy day at the shop?"

"Well, slow most of the morning, but picked up as the day went on and a big family came in just before closing, so I had to stay late. But, they bought a lot, so I can't complain, I suppose," he shrugged. "How about you? Your day ok?"

"It was alright," she said. "I slept late, and then I more or less helped out here cleaning up and what not."

He nodded, and then leaned into her to whisper in her ear, "Hey, I know we need to have some important conversations soon, and we didn't end so great last night. But, we're ok, right?"

"Never, ever doubt how much I love you," she whispered back as she squeezed his hand and gave him a quick peck on his cheek.

While her words and actions comforted him, there was a distance and hesitation in her eyes that only served to make the panic in his stomach churn even more. But, Hermione kept holding his hand until she was forced to let go in order to dish brussel sprouts onto her plate. He felt the absence of her touch immediately, but managed to keep up with the conversation with Charlie about the rights of dragons in England versus in Romania. Every now and then Hermione would touch his leg or arm affectionately as they all talked, and it reminded him of the early days of their relationship when he had been hyperaware of any physical contact they shared. Each touch, accidental or intentional, served to fire every sensor on his skin, sending shots of hope and encouragement to his churning stomach.

The few moments he wasn't totally distracted by Hermione's touch and presence he let his gaze drift down the table to look at George who was still right next to Angelina. Apparently they'd barely been apart since the party the day before. Ron had to give it to Hermione, they both looked really happy. They weren't at that comfortable stage of a relationship yet where couples would lean into each other with ease, but they were both smiling like fools and easily finishing each other's sentences as they told a story to Bill and Percy. At one point George looked up and caught Ron's eyes and raised his eyebrow in question. Ron gave him a big smile in return, and seeing that seemed to allow George to exhale in a relief that surprised Ron. He hadn't really realized his opinion on his budding relationship with Angie would matter so much to George.

As he was still watching them, he felt Hermione's hand reach for his as she whispered in his ear, "Thank you. I know that wasn't easy, but I'm really proud of you."

He turned back to her, squeezing her hand. "Thanks. You were right. I just needed to step back a minute to see it."

She laughed, "Can I get that in writing?"

"Had bloody hah, and no – not a chance," he laughed. She leaned her head against his shoulder briefly before getting drawn into a conversation further down the table between her Audrey and Fleur.

Once dinner had ended, Hermione had offered to help Ginny with the dishes, so Ron took the opportunity to seek out George.

"Can I snag you for a mo'?" Ron asked. "Sorry, Ange, I promise it will only take a few minutes."

"No worries, Ron. I'm going to go find Hermione and Ginny and see if I can be useful in the kitchen."

George beamed at her as she left, and finally returned his eyes to his little brother.

"What's up?"

"Uh, can we go out back for a few minutes?"

"Ok," said George hesitantly. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," Ron assured as he held the back door open for his brother. They both stepped out onto the porch, and seeing how nice it was, decided to wander down to the quidditch pitch and back.

"So what's going on?" George asked. "This isn't about Angie is it? I thought..."

"No, no. That's fine, George. I'm happy for you. It's good to see both you and Angie so happy. Can't say it didn't surprise me the other night, but Hermione helped me see rather quickly how happy you both were."

"You know she and Fred never really dated, right? Other than going to the Yule Ball, they didn't go out at all."

"Yeah, I know. I'm really ok, George. And you don't have to get my approval anyway, you know?"

"Well, no, but I hope you know that what you think does matter to me."

"Thanks," Ron said. "Means a lot."

"Fred actually knew I'd been crushing on Angie for years," George continued. "I had actually buckled under Freddie's persistent nagging and had promised him I would man up and ask her out. And then, literally the day after I said I would talk to her, we had to go into hiding and move to Aunt Muriel's. And then after Freddie died, well, I just couldn't. But as I was getting ready for the party this week I just realized it was time, and he'd be royally pissed at me if I never did."

Ron smiled at him, glad to see George so happy, and glad Hermione had prevented him from mucking things up.

"So, what's going on?" George finally asked him.

Ron sighed, "I think I may have screwed some things up with Hermione. Certainly not a first, but well, I need to spend some time with her the next few days. But I wasn't sure if or when you were coming back to the shop..."

"Oh, yeah, well, of course. Sorry I haven't been there much these past few weeks."

"Nah, I understand. I just – well, I'm hoping she'll stay home tomorrow so we can talk and all. But, I dunno yet. But, with Easter coming up, doesn't seem like we should be closed and risk losing the business."

"Yeah, yeah. You're right. I've got it. I'll plan to work every day this week, alright? Hopefully this weekend it will be busy enough we'll need both of us. How'd it go yesterday anyway?"

"Brilliant," Ron grinned. "Charlie and Percy came and helped out, so it was smooth."

"Oh, I'll have to tell them thanks."

"They were happy to do it. But, well, I'll just plan to not be there tomorrow, and then will be in touch after that as to the rest of the week's schedule."

"Yeah, well, even if her schedule doesn't work, you should take a few days off anyway. You'll get totally burned out otherwise."

"Ok. Yeah. Thanks."

"So, are you and Hermione really ok? Should I even ask what you did?"

Ron sighed and shook his head as he reached out to snap an errant twig off a branch next to him. "I don't totally know what happened. But, it was one of those things where everything I meant to say came out totally wrong and made it worse. But, in general I think we've been letting stuff build up a bit too much anyway."

George grimaced a moment. "Well, you two are as destined as any two I have ever known. You'll work it out. You're good for each other."

"I know. She's everything. I'd be done without her."

"Not gonna happen. She loves you too much and you know it."

"Well, yeah, we just need to regroup a bit."

"Could you two go somewhere for a few days? Like a minibreak or something?"

"That's a good idea actually."

"I've been known to have one every now and then."

Ron laughed. "Well, let me talk to her and we'll see what her schedule is. I don't even know, honestly. We've been like ships passing in the night recently."

"But," George grinned as he wagged his eyebrows. "Nights are pretty brilliant."

Ron couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, she'd bust a button at me for saying anything, but I sure as hell can't argue with you on that one."

"There's my boy," laughed George, patting him on the back. "Freddie'd be so thrilled for you, ya know?"

Ron laughed back, "Piss off, George. But, yeah, I know."

It was nearly nine by the time Hermione stepped out of the floo and back into Grimmauld Place. Ron stepped through the floo a minute later and found Hermione had already kicked off her shoes and was sitting on the sofa rubbing her heel where a blister had formed.

"Ouch," he said as he went to sit next to her. "New shoes?"

"Ironically, no," she said. "For some reason they just started rubbing me the wrong way today I suppose."

"Here," he gestured, and then he went to rub her feet around the blister.

"That feels good," she sighed as she closed her eyes and let herself get carried away by the blissful feeling of Ron's hands on her sore muscles.

He smiled as he watched her, struck at how beautiful she looked when she was so relaxed despite how tired he knew she was. They simply enjoyed the silence for a few moments until Ron spoke up.

"You know, I want to apologize – not just for last night, but for that too. But, I know I've been on a hamster wheel these past few...well, months I suppose, but I feel like we've let, or more accurately I've let – 'us' drift too much. I started taking us for granted, and I'm sorry for that."

She looked at him and gave a tight lipped smile. Then she sighed and said, "Well, it's taken two of us to let us drift. I think we've both been taking us for granted."

He kept massaging her feet and after a moment said, "Why don't we take off for a few days. Let's go somewhere. Just the two of us. We haven't taken a vacation really since Australia, and that was – well, it was almost two years ago now, and we were more than a little stressed and run down at the time."

"Understatement of the century," she chuckled. But then she added, "But we could do that because it was all on the Australian Ministry's galleon, so to speak. We can't afford a vacation. And before you say it, as much as I love your family, The Burrow and Shell Cottage don't count."

"I wasn't going to suggest we vacation with my family," he laughed. "Would sort of defeat the purpose of going away, wouldn't it?"

"Exactly."

"But I've got money saved up now. We haven't had to pay rent ever, and I've been making good money at the shop."

"You can't spend that on something as frivolous as a vacation," she protested.

"Why not? What else is there to spend it on? I'm already putting money away to save for our future, but seems to me that getting us back on track is more important to our future than saving for a ring or a house."

"You've been saving for a ring?" she asked, almost breathlessly.

"'Course," he said. "Since my first paycheck."

She smiled and nuzzled into him, content to lean against his chest with her eyes closed.

"So, can I find us somewhere to go? Is your schedule flexible?"

"Well, yeah, I don't have a real job anyway."

"You just don't have a paying job. The work is real."

"True."

"George said he'd take care of the shop this week, but I'd like to be back to handle the before Easter rush."

"You want to go this week?"

"Why not?"

"Huh, can't give you a good reason – just surprised me is all."

"How about I look into it in the morning and see if I can arrange a portkey and hotel."

"OK. Sounds lovely actually."

"So now can we go to bed? Because otherwise I think we'll both be asleep in about five minutes."

She laughed. "But then you'd carry me up."

"I can do that anyway if you really want me to."

"No, no. I've got it. But thanks."

Ron was up early the next morning, and decided to jump on the project of finding a place for them to vacation for a few days. Glancing out the window at the cold, grey rain, he decided he was making an executive decision for them and would look for somewhere warm and beachy. After eating a quick breakfast he headed off to The Ministry to see if he could talk to someone in the portkey office about how to arrange travel.

When Hermione woke up, she wandered down to the kitchen where she found her breakfast under a warming charm with a note from Ron that read, "Morning- I've popped out to work on planning a trip. I'm hopeful I can find something warm and sunny and that we could leave tonight or tomorrow. If something changes with your schedule, let me know. Otherwise I'll come find you once I have the plans firmed up. Love, R"

Hermione smiled, taking her mug of tea and letting it slowly warm and wake her. She had woken up a while ago, but had been lying in bed thinking about the trip and the conversation she knew they needed to have. But, she still wasn't quite sure what she wanted to say or to have come from it.

She knew she loved him. She knew she wanted to marry him. And she knew that if something didn't change that it would never work. It was ridiculous, really, she mused. They had figured out how to kill an immortal wizard, but they couldn't figure out how to make a relationship work between two people who loved each other. She got up to find her planner and see what, if anything, she had to do that day. Seeing an appointment circled on her calendar, she grinned. Thank Merlin she had an appointment to see Becky later that morning. That was exactly who she needed to talk to before heading off on this trip. Encouraged, she took a few more bites of her breakfast and then took her tea with her back upstairs to get showered and dressed for the day.

Two hours later, Hermione was sitting in the comfortable arm chair in Becky's office.

"Good morning, Hermione," she smiled. "How have you been? I haven't seen you in almost a month. You look wonderful."

"Thank you. I think all in all I have been much stronger these past few weeks. That doesn't necessarily make it easier, but I definitely feel stronger."

"Interesting observation. Can you talk more about that?"

Hermione nodded and began explaining about the party George held for Fred, and the conversation she and Ron had that night, as well as the later conversations about the two of them and their upcoming trip. Becky asked a few clarifying questions, but mostly just let Hermione talk through it.

"I know I had to rely on him a lot as I recovered. But, both George and I have noticed that even when we are strong enough to take care of ourselves again, Ron seems to be almost addicted to being the savior now. And I guess I had thought of it as him more or less loving the feel of being in charge or being the reliable one for once. But, as he spoke the other night he sounded almost – no, not almost – he did sound bitter and resentful. And while he was talking about what he'd given up for George, he might as well have been talking about me. He put all of his dreams on hold to help me and his brother. But we never asked him to. He was giving up more than he needed to. He still is. If he wanted to be an auror there were – and still are – ways to make that happen. I don't want to wake up in twenty years and have him resent me."

"Do you think he would really regret that?"

"Well, not that he would regret being with me, but that he would regret giving up things he sacrificed along the way. Like finishing school. Like becoming an auror."

"But he didn't want to finish school."

"Ok, yeah, he didn't. And he won't regret that. But he always wanted to be an auror."

"Is it really about him being an auror? What you thought you wanted to do has evolved as you've grown up over the past few years, hasn't it? Don't you think it could be the same for him?"

"Possible," she conceded. "But even if it has changed, I want him to know it's changed because of what he wants, not because of things he had to sacrifice to be the martyr. And I worry that in putting his dreams on hold, he is in many ways smothering himself – like snuffing out that amazing spark that is my Ron. And it kills me."

"Hermione, you and I have talked about this before – you can't change his behavior or his intentions. All you can control is your behavior and your reaction to a situation."

"I know. I do. But as he and I go on this trip, I can just feel in my bones we are going to have some pivotal conversations about our relationship and where we go from here. And I want to do it right. I love him desperately. And I want to be with him. But I want to be his partner, not his burden."

"You almost sound like you want to break up with him. Is that what you are saying?"

"NO! No – see this is why I wanted to talk to you. I don't want that – and I definitely don't want him to think I think that. Not at all! But I want us both to be able to grow and fail and grow up more and to have room in our relationship to evolve like that."

Hermione and Becky spoke for almost the whole hour, and by the end of the appointment Hermione felt both more assured and more nervous about the vacation to come. She knew she needed to make Ron understand where she was coming from, and she didn't want to hurt him at all, yet she knew they needed to figure this out or they would end up hurting each other much more in the end. Leaving Becky's office, she decided to drop by her parents' house to see if they were home to let them know she'd be going out of town for a few days.

"Hermione, what a pleasant surprise," her mum said. "Whatever brings you here?"

"Well, I just wanted to let you know Ron and I are headed out of town for a few days on a bit of a minibreak."

"How wonderful. Where are you going?"

"Not sure," Hermione admitted. "Ron's organizing it now. He said somewhere warm, which sounds rather lovely to me. I just want to let you know we'd be gone a few days. Once he has the hotel information I'll be sure to leave you the number."

"Do you have everything you need? You've done such a wonderful job putting weight back on. I know you aren't where you want to be yet, but do you have a bathing suit that fits? Or summer dresses?"

"Oh," Hermione said flatly. "I hadn't thought of that. I'm still not at that goal weight yet, but I'm definitely closer than I was last time I was anywhere warm."

"Well, come on, then," her mum said with a smile. "I get to take you shopping."

By midafternoon Hermione was back at Grimmauld Place laden with shopping bags. She and her mum had enjoyed going to several local shops and picking out some warm weather clothes that would fit, and then they stopped and got a manicure and pedicure. And, they both smiled knowing how far Hermione had come since she'd had that panic attack getting a manicure in Australia almost two years prior. But now she was ever so much healthier, she'd gained almost all of her weight back, though that last five pounds was proving to be a challenge. Her scar was nothing but a faint mark on her arm after the laser procedure. And best of all, she felt strong again.

Just after she'd arrived at Grimmauld Place, Ron came in as well with all of the details of their trip, and she had to admit, it sounded fabulous. His dad had recommended talking to an older witch named Mrs. Hina Abeona in the portkey office who was known to have great travel suggestions and connections at other ministries across the globe. And Mrs. Abeona had been a jackpot.

Turned out that Mrs. Abeona, who happened to be a huge fan of both Arthur Weasley as well as Ron, Hermione and Harry, had a cousin who had married a squib in the British Virgin Islands where they ran a small hotel focused on magical or mixed families visiting the island. And, as fate would have it, they'd had a last minute cancellation for that week and offered the accommodations to Ron and Hermione at a huge discount. Their portkey would leave later that evening, and with the time difference they would be in the Caribbean in plenty of time to be on their hotel terrace for an early dinner by the sea.

"There are some days I am still left speechless by magic," she said with a smile.

"Wicked, huh?" he grinned.