Sookie's POV:
"Sookie, how does it feel to be the most envied woman in the country or perhaps even the world?" the late-night talk show host asks me in front of the live audience.
I shoot a nervous smile to the host and then to Marten, who was sitting beside me. He had his hand on my thigh, giving me a soft reassuring squeeze.
"Ahhh, I honestly don't know," I reply feeling nervous. The publicists had tried to coach me in how to behave for this show. They had told me to be show confidence in my voice and mannerisms, to be witty and demure at the same time, currently my short training in how to act in public settings had been thrown out the window.
I fidget in my spot on the sofa and play with my fingers. I could feel my cheeks getting redder every second. Why did I agree to this appearance?
I suddenly feel a jolt of confidence, I knew it was Marten, for the past few months he had been learning more about bonds and how to use (or rather manipulate) them. There were times when I was found myself feeling deliriously happy and giddy when I saw him. There were other times, I found myself 'missing' him when he was away working or at his events. It was only during the day when he was at rest that I could find inner peace and be alone in my thoughts. I knew that these feelings were coming from him.
I give another answer to the host, "Well, I had known Marten for a very long time. We were very good friends in the beginning, then one day our relationship changed. Our friendship turned into something else, something more and before I knew it, he surprised me with a marriage proposal and now we're here. He's a wonderful man and most importantly, a wonderful husband."
I beam as I kiss Marten on the cheek.
Oh my god, I couldn't believe I said that…..
We play a small game and answer a few more questions before ending our interview. The director yells cut as the audience continues to clap for us.
I practically rip off the sound pieces I was wearing and hand it to one of the production assistants and walk off the set with Marten following me.
I walk back to our dressing room.
"That was awful," I lament as I let out a deep sigh. I take off the diamond earrings that were making my ears feel uncomfortable and put them on the table.
"I didn't think it was that bad, you recovered quite well at the end," Marten says as he scrolls through his phone.
"We need to talk," I say to him as I stare at him through the mirror. He looked very handsome this evening. As usual, he was dressed to the nines like every night. He had fashion stylists and hair and makeup teams under his retinue who made sure he looked fantastic at every public and private event. He was wearing a dark navy-striped suit and his blonde hair was styled as though he was heading to the beach to surf. I had always thought he looked like a blonde Californian male model with his boyish good looks.
He rolls his eyes a bit, "Oh why didn't I see this coming…."
"Marten, I have talked to you about this before," I say as I turn around to face him. "You have to stop doing that. You need to let me be myself."
"I don't know what you mean," he says innocently.
"You know damn well what I mean!" I almost yell.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and one of Marten's royal bodyguards peeks his head. "Everything okay in here?"
I roll my eyes in disgust and put my hands on my hips.
"Everything is fine, Ron," Marten answers. "Leave us."
Ron closes the door right away.
"Eric used to do the same thing…" I say before he cuts me off.
"Oh my god, if I have to hear another comparison about Eric, I'll lose my mind!" he says in a strained voice as he puts his hands in his hair.
"Then stop what you are doing!" I say exasperated. "You are manipulating me through the bond. You make me feel happiness when I'm with you and these other feelings that I know are not coming from me!"
"Are you serious Sookie?" he says in an exasperated tone as well. "You really think I'm doing that to you. Okay once in awhile I'll send you happy thoughts or positive vibes, but only when I know that you're feeling shitty or sad. I do that because I can't stand seeing you unhappy. It kills me when you're feeling like that. I just want you to be happy!"
"So, you choose to make that choice for me? I can't be unhappy so you go and change that? Marten, that's not right, that's not how relationships work! You can't control your partner, your wife that way," I plead. "Please, you need to let me be free. You need to let me make the decisions on how I feel. Yes, I get upset about things, but that's normal."
I knew that he had tried in the past few months to block the bond from me like I had asked him to, but so far, his efforts had failed. He was good, though, at controlling the bond, which pissed me off.
"Marten, if you want to make this marriage work and to improve our relationship, you need to let me be," I say to him in the most neutral tone I could muster right now. I could feel him trying to send me happy thoughts, but I was pushing It away right now.
He lets out an unnecessary sigh. "That will fix things between us?"
"It's a start," I add. "There's other things we need to discuss, but this is the biggest issue right now.""
The honeymoon period was over. We had spent the second part of our honeymoon in Greece. Though it was gorgeous, it wasn't really my cup of tea. Marten was fascinated with history and ancient art, since it was practically his past as well, and had thought I would show a keen interest in it as well. But I didn't, I never was a history or art buff, I was only interested in the present time and on practical things, like making sure my bills were paid and that my work was going great. Our differences began to become even more transparent since our wedding, like the fact that I preferred to stay in, while Marten was a social butterfly who liked going to clubs and hang out with his friends. We had different tastes in music and films. He was a fan of every genre of music and movies, but he preferred listening to modern music and whatever songs were the most popular at the moment on the radio. He loved watching the latest action films. I didn't like any of that. My music tastes were mostly classic tunes from the past and country hits that my Gran used to listen to. I wasn't a fan of movies, but didn't mind the old films that Eric and I used to watch on our spare time. I liked reading and Marten didn't. The only things he read either pertained to his business ventures or his many articles that people wrote about him.
Oh, how I missed Eric…..
"Okay, I won't send you anymore vibes through the bond," Marten says in a reluctant tone.
"I miss my friends," I say to him unhappily. I could feel the tears welling up as I think about Claude and Amelia, both had been my rock when I had lost Eric. I think about Tara, my oldest friend. I hadn't seen her or her little family in a long time.
"Sookie," he says as he comes and holds me from behind. He buries his face in my hair. "This is what I mean, I don't like seeing you this way."
"Marten, this is normal, this is part of who I am," I whisper, as a tear escapes my eye. "I need my friends and I need my family. I've only seen my brother and his family a handful of times. I'm grateful you paid for them to come visit me a few weeks ago, but I feel like that's enough. I need to be at home."
It was true, I needed to be at home in Bon Temps, in the house I grew up in. I think back to my time with Eric. I had never thought I could live anywhere else besides Bon Temps. I had always envisioned myself living and dying there. I had no plans to leave, until I met Eric. Eric had changed my views on that. I realized that Eric was my home and that I live anywhere as long as I was with him. I wasn't at that point with Marten. The more time I spent with him, the more I wondered if I would ever feel that way about him.
"We'll go to Bon Temps, my darling wife," he says soothingly. "I'll take you there tomorrow."
A few tears roll down again as I close my eyes gloomily.
The next day at my family homestead, I sweep up the dirt and dust from the floor. Claude still periodically lived here, but had vacated when I let him know that me and my vampire husband would be arriving. Amelia had moved back to New Orleans and was now living with Octavia Fant. I had seen her and talked to her over the past few months, and she seemed happy. I had occasionally talked to Claude. He wasn't a fan of devices like telephones and facetime, so I knew I would have to go to Monroe one of these days and have a coffee date with him to catch up.
I look in the fridge and throw away some of the old takeout containers that obviously belonged to Claude.
"Ewww what is that smell?" Marten says as his handsome face scrunches up in disgust.
"Three-week-old ramen noodles," I reply as I grab it and put in my trash bag.
I find more old food in the back of the fridge. After I'm satisfied, I tie the garbage and set it on the floor. I look up at Marten, somewhat expecting him to take the garbage and to throw it in the trash bins outside, but he doesn't. He looks at the bag on the floor then at me.
"What?" he says in a confused tone.
"Oh nevermind," I huff. I grab the bag and take it outside to the bins.
I come back inside and wash my hands. After awhile of tidying up the kitchen more, I head into the living room to find Marten sifting through Claude's movie collection and his personal videos that he was the star in.
I snicker to myself at the memory of Claude forcing me and Amelia to watch his workout video, that he got professionally made, with him.
"What's so funny?" Marten smiles.
"Nothing, just an old memory," I reply.
He sits down on the sofa and I join him.
He puts his arm around me, "This is nice."
We sit in silence for a few more minutes.
"You're bored aren't you?" I say to him.
"Yes, very much so," he says as he pats my leg. "But it's not you babe, it's me."
I glance at him and laugh lightly, which causes him to laugh as well.
We start feeling more at ease as we begin talking jovially and laughing and just enjoying each other's company.
Though Marten and I had our vast differences, conversing was easy between us. We got along well when it was just the two of us and there wasn't any other pressure. He still made me laugh at his stories and jokes, he always seemed interested in the things I had to say.
"So, Claude is a male stripper?" Marten asks me.
"Yes, well he used to be. He was the main attraction at Hooligans. As a matter of fact I saw him perform years ago, during one of my birthday celebrations," I say. I wanted to add that was the night I began dating Eric, but I shut my mouth. I knew it would kill the mood if I brought him up again.
"How was it?" he asks.
"How was what?" I ask him, confused.
"His dance?" he adds.
"I…. I dunno, it wasn't for me anyway, but the other ladies in the club sure enjoyed it," I smile.
Marten gets up and walks over to the stereo. He sets up his phone to it and a song begins playing.
"What are you doing?" I smile.
"Shhh, just enjoy this," he says as he turns around and begins dancing.
Marten enjoyed dancing and was perhaps one of the best dancers I had ever seen. He could do just about any type of dance. Right now, he was moving seductively to the song. I knew I was about to get a private show.
He peels off his shirt slowly to reveal his muscular physique and tosses it at me. He begins lip-syncing to the song and gyrates his body in-sync to the beat of the music.
Though I tried my best to keep my facial features mute, I couldn't help but grin as he continues dancing in a very sexy way. He sure had rhythm.
Next, he unbuttons his jeans, slips them off and tosses them to the side. Now, he was just dancing to the music in his light blue boxer briefs.
I put my hand over my eyes and smile. He had been voted the sexiest man alive or undead in People magazine. Right now, he was showing me that he truly deserved that title.
I take my hands off my eyes and look up at him again. This time he was gesturing to me to join him.
I hesitate for a second, before getting up slowly and I join him. I clasp my hands together behind his neck and sway to the music like him. He rests his forehead against mine as we move along to the song.
"I think you're wearing too much clothes," he says.
He lifts my tank top over my head and unclasps my bra and begin kissing feverishly.
I let him unbutton my denim shorts and it falls to the ground, leaving me wearing only my pink panty.
Though Marten had manipulated my emotions to make me feel happy, he never manipulated me into feeling sexual desire for him. He didn't have to. The more times we had had sex, the more I enjoyed being with him intimately. He was a master at sexual activities. Not once had he made me feel uncomfortable or unsafe when we were together like this.
He lifts me up and sets me down on the sofa. He kisses his way down my body, giving my breasts a lot of attention before stopping at my nether regions.
"Don't stop," I moan out in ecstasy.
Marten had a special way with his tongue when it came to parts of my body. He knew exactly how to please me.
After he gives me my first orgasm, I open my eyes to find him at eye level, rubbing his tip against my nub. In an instant, he was inside me. He pounds into me, building up another orgasmic reaction in my body. I climax again and he follows soon after.
I was still in an orgasmic haze as he lifts me up and carries me to my bedroom. We spend a few more hours enjoying each other's company before I begin tiring.
Afterwards, I lay on my side and Marten spoons me from behind.
"I love you," he says to me. He usually told me that every night right before I was ready to fall asleep.
I still hadn't said it back to him, mostly because I wasn't sure if I loved him back. I was fond of him, I liked having sex with him, but I wasn't sure if I loved him.
"Goodnight Marten," I say to him. "Can you hold me until it's time for you to go? It's such a comfort when you hold me like this."
"Of course, my darling wife," he replies.
I give him a quick kiss on the cheek, before falling asleep.
I have the same dream again where I am running in the field behind my house, this time I get closer to the hill. Just as I see a bright light, I wake up.
"Eric!" I yell out. I look at the window and see the morning sun shining brightly outside.
"Crap, what does that mean?" I ask myself. I lay back down and contemplate whether to get up and have breakfast.
"I guess I should get my rear out of bed now," I mumble to myself. I find my old robe and throw it on. I open the curtain and stare out at the morning sky and smile to myself.
I needed to really start letting go and to be happy, like truly happy.
I needed to make my marriage work and find a way to some common ground with Marten. I had to try.