Faith didn't deliver in the ambulance or immediately after arriving at the hospital, but she did deliver before the entire group had arrived. Mason picked up Jesse and Cordelia and the other members of his team came later, but within an hour of feeling that first contraction, Faith delivered little Gabrielle, who officially weighed in at 5 lbs 10 oz, with a head full of dark hair. Xander was both amazed and terrified. Faith was just terrified.
"Faith, talk to me." Xander said softly, as the doctor and nurses took Gabrielle away to be cleaned and measured and examined to make sure she was alright. His hand needed attention too, because he was pretty sure Faith had broken it, but Faith and Gabrielle came first.
"She has dark hair, a head full of dark hair!" Faith was shaking and Diana was holding her and trying to soothe her, it wasn't helping, Faith was too afraid.
"Yeah, she does." Xander nodded. "I didn't know babies could have hair right out of the gate like that, the ones on tv are always bald."
"Remember our nightmares?"
"Vividly." Xander frowned. "Mason says Cordelia dying in the other timeline wasn't my fault and I refuse to be a deadbeat Dad. As scary as the idea of being a Dad is, she's not scary, she's amazing and she's going to be beautiful, just like you." He smiled at his best friend, the mother of their baby.
"My nightmare was watching her grow up without me." Faith felt tears sliding down her face. "One scene was her showing you her own baby and you telling her the baby had a head full of dark hair, just like she did when she was born. What if it's more than a nightmare, what if it's a premonition? Slayers get dreams about the future, maybe the Magic that made the nightmares happen dug out a Slayer dream. Maybe I really won't get to see her grow up!"
"Faith," Diana tried to think of something reassuring to say as Xander tilted his head and looked at Faith.
"What else would her hair be, we're both brunettes, of course she's going to have dark hair." Xander glanced at Faith's own sweat drenched hair. "And just because she was born with hair doesn't mean it's a sign. Faith, I've mentioned a time or two about how I like sci fi, right?"
"Yeah, you've made us watch some of it. It's okay, I guess." She teased with a slight grin at her friend, trying to stop shaking.
"Star Trek, there's an episode where an old friend of Captain Picard's tells Commander Riker, 'if a man believes he's going to die tomorrow, he'll probably find a way to make it happen'. If you believe you're going to die, Faith, than you've accepted death and are just looking for a way to make it happen." He was deadly serious now. "And that's a cheat! We're not immortal, we will die, but not today! You don't get to give up on Gabrielle's birthday! You're going to die only if you decide you're going to die! Decide you're going to live instead, for as long as is humanly possible. If you can't live for yourself than live for Gabrielle. But decide to live!"
"You don't think it's inevitable?"
"Death is inevitable, but we fight it, we don't accept it! Didn't Xena tell you that too?"
"Something like that, yeah." Faith nodded. "I don't want to die, I'm just afraid I'm going to. But if I live like I'm afraid, than I'm not fighting it, I'm accepting it? Waiting for it and missing life, Gabrielle's life, in the meantime?"
"I'm afraid too, Faith." Diana reminded her. "My own nightmare that day was finding your dead body, but Mason and I are doing everything we can to teach and train and protect you, so that when that need to hunt that Slayers have comes back, you'll be able to hunt safely and intelligently. Mason has no power, but he has knowledge and skills and he's hunted for over twenty years and he'll be here to help guide you. We will help you survive, but surviving and living are two different things, Faith and Xander's right, if you can't live for yourself, than live for Gabrielle!"
"I want to live, I don't want to die!" Faith swiped a hand over her face. "I've been thinking about it the wrong way and scaring myself in the process, I want to live! I want to see Gabrielle grow up! I don't want to be just a picture or a memory, I want to see it all for myself, every milestone, basketball and boys and graduation and grandbabies!"
"Boys? Crap, now I am terrified!" Xander dropped into a nearby chair. "Oh, gods, boys and she's going to look like you and Cordy and I could have girls too and they'll look like her and oh my gods, why hasn't her father shot me, he's got proof I'm a horny teenage boy!"
"Because daughter's can wrap their daddies around their little finger." Cordelia answered entering the room and going straight to Faith's side. "Fair warning, Gabrielle's going to own you and she won't let you shoot any boys." She grinned at her boyfriend's pale face. "Not even if they break her heart, because she'll want to shoot them herself in that case."
Mason and Diana laughed at the expression on Xander's face as a knock on the door signaled the nurse bringing Gabrielle in.
"While you guys are getting to know Gabrielle, could someone look at my hand." Xander decided the crisis was passed and now it was his turn. "Because I think Faith broke it, it's not usually a swollen mess like this." He held up his hand and the nurse's eyes widened as she darted forward.
"Why didn't you say something sooner?! That needs to be x rayed!"
"My family comes first."