Chapter 4: Unspoken Vows

Back in the present, Shadow stood as a dark statuesque figure in Maria's long-abandoned room. He walked delicately over to her bed, the one they shared on so many nights when Shadow's tests had been exceptionally harsh, or when Maria's condition pushed her thoughts into the most daunting corners of her mind. On the nights when the two were overcome by their inner demons, they held each other tight and allowed the steady rhythm of their heartbeats to abate their fears. In the silent expanse of space, the privilege of holding onto someone harboring the rhythm of life meant everything; a living anchor. If nothing else, even on borrowed time, the two were proof of one another's existence. Even at such young ages, they both knew and accepted this deep responsibility without having to speak it.

A single, sullied gloved finger ran tenderly over the edge of the bed frame, which still contained Maria's bedding, albeit covered in dust and laden with moisture and mold, rotted by time and neglect. Shadow felt his eyes fill with thick, heavy tears at the sight. Over fifty years may have passed since the ARK incident, and he may have had the opportunity to relive his memories and come to terms with them, but this was the first time he had been back here. This room held so much more than the others, so many whispered promises and unspoken firsts. Plus, Shadow had spent fifty years in stasis, spending every waking moment dreaming of her, existing somewhere between life and death. Being resuscitated by Dr. Eggman had been horrifying, because at least when he was in stasis he could dream. The reality he was awoken into was nothing short of hapless, and without Maria he saw no point in the universe existing at all. That's not how he felt anymore, and Shadow did have newfound hope for humanity, even having made peace with G.U.N. However, the hole inside of him left behind by Maria had proven that it could not be filled by anyone else. Not by Team Dark or his other friends, not by his missions with G.U.N., and not by his free exploration of the Earth they so longed to visit together… The current barrenness of Shadow's heart poignantly reflected the barrenness of the space surrounding the ARK.

He knew that he was on borrowed time and that the longer he spent reminiscing, the less time Rouge and he would have to swap the Emerald out and support Sonic's battle. He knew this melancholy was futile, but still…

"Maria…" he spoke, voice cracking and echoing sadly throughout the chamber. Shadow's eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to coax whatever tears were still managing to escape out. He knew he was being foolish, but deep down Shadow was almost expecting his voice to summon her once more. After all, time and space had been manipulated just a few hours prior to bring her back to him, even for a short time. Couldn't it happen again if he truly urged it to be so? He hadn't had enough time with her, he had been so focused on eliminating the Black Arms and preventing the situation from becoming worse...

Shadow shook his head furiously, quills swinging. He needed to stop wasting time on these futile thoughts. He needed to focus on the mission at hand.

"This is futile and selfish. I'd promised myself I could overcome my pain, that I would live for the future and protect the Earth Maria so loved. I promised her I'd do my best to move on and live a happy life among my new friends. She told me to go help them when we said goodbye… More than that… She made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure I'd have a second chance at life."

The truth was that, as usual, the Ultimate Lifeform was suppressing his true emotions and thoughts. The events in White Space had unfolded so quickly that he hadn't had time to process what had really happened, that Maria and the Professor's vestiges had been before him and that he had a chance to speak to them, to touch them once more. This was something that Shadow had spent nearly every waking moment of the past fifty years wishing for and was nothing short of a miracle. Even in his dreams, Shadow had imagined a thousand scenarios of how his reunion with them would play out; what he would say, what he would do. Usually, he'd imagine him and Maria alone, and Shadow would immediately run to her and hold her with all his might. Then, he'd stare up into her eyes, eyes the expanse and colour of the sky she never got a chance to enjoy, and tell her the three words he never did while she was living. The three unsaid words that haunted him every second of his immortal life, that he knew Maria had already felt, but that were still left unsaid and stuck painfully in his throat like a cancerous growth. Constantly festering, his lack of foresight, sincerity, and fearlessness plugged his vocal chords and stabbed him through the larynx and directly to his heart.

Shadow shook his head once more to remove such thoughts for the time being and skated to the destroyed exit of Maria's room, turning his head back once for a final look before continuing down the hallway in search of Rouge.

It wasn't too hard to find the jewel thief, as she was quite adept at navigation and the domestic wing of the ARK the White Space had faded into wasn't very large. Upon spotting Rouge, Shadow skated up to her naturally, keeping his usual cool and nonchalant demeanor, as if he hadn't just gone missing for the past fifteen minutes. Rouge smirked as she flew over to greet Shadow, however her eyes betrayed a deep sense of empathy and concern for her teammate.

"Hey there, handsome. You finished your pleasure tour of the ARK? Find anything interesting? And by interesting, I mean shiny… And expensive!" Rouge winked flirtatiously, her usual way of lightening the mood. The truth was, she had seen Maria and Gerald in the White Space and was extremely worried about the massive toll that being reunited with them in such rushed and bizarre circumstances must be having on Shadow. She knew better than most about how much Maria still haunted him, and seeing them together briefly had made her understand their relationship much more distinctly. Shadow clearly hadn't just admired Maria, he was deeply in love with her, that much was now apparent to Rouge as a woman herself. She studied Shadow's stoic facial expression, not revealing a hint of unusual emotion, just scoffing slightly at her teasing as he usually would.

"He doesn't know that I heard his declaration to Maria before his final battle with Black Doom… or that I saw him crying as we left the White Space… I'll let him pretend to be Mr. Don't Care for now, for Sonic's sake… But after this is all over, Shadow is going to need a lot of support."

Rouge sighed. She was incredibly curious what Shadow had been doing for the last fifteen minutes since he left her behind, but she also knew this wasn't the time nor the place to pry. "Come on then, we have to get this Chaos Emerald to Sonic as soon as possible! There can't be much time left before he battles the Time Eater. Think you could Chaos Control us off this tin can?" she asked while landing gently beside Shadow.

Shadow nodded soberly in response. He still hadn't spoken throughout their interaction, which wasn't unusual for him, however the motive for his silence was due to the fact that he didn't trust himself to keep his emotions in line. Rouge was one of his closest allies and she knew him well, maybe too well at times. He could easily identify the concern in her eyes, and if the topic of Maria was breached, he wasn't sure that he could keep it together. The last thing he needed was to cause the others to come to harm due to his lack of composure, especially when he had swapped the real Chaos Emerald with the fake for his own purposes. The blue hedgehog would never let him live such a failure down, especially one that came at the cost of those he cared about. No, he knew what he needed to do was to focus on the moment at hand. This was the right choice, the one Maria would have wanted him to make. Without saying a word, Shadow took Rouge's arm, lifting the Emerald high.

"Chaos Control!"