TMNT: Lullabye for You

Ch.5~ This is Gospel

I sat against the dirty bricks my brain still fuzzy and body sluggish from whatever drug they used to bring me here. At least this was a familiar tunnel, so at least I was not far from home. Looking down I groaned before leaning back up. Those bastards didn't even leave me with the good clothes.

The sound of splashing and talking began to echo down the tunnel toward me. My heart began to race but soon the voices became clearer and relief at the familiarity hit me like a train. Tears welled up in my eyes and my vision blurred.

Home.

"L-leo…" I began but my voice cut out too weak to carry far.

I needed to make a sound. I palmed around until I was able to grasp a rock. Picking it up I used as much strength as I could to throw it into the brick wall. A loud crack sound echoed and I stared in shock as the rock was imbedded in the brick.

"Did you hear that?" Don stated his voice closer now.

"I think people in Jersey heard that." Mikey added.

"Let's go check it out." Leo stated.

I sighed in relief knowing that I had at least been able to get their attention. I didn't want them to find me like this. Struggling I managed to use to wall to help pull myself up until I was leaned into his my knees screaming in protest.

Turning my gaze up I was shocked to see my brothers looking at me. I nearly fell forward from the shock but managed to keep steady. My gaze moved between them. They looked taller, how long had I been gone?

Oh god, how long was I gone?!

"Raph…" Leo stated, I felt my knees give way and I fell forward. "Raph!"

Strong arms caught me and my cheek hit a familiar plastron. Tears filled my eyes and suddenly I felt a hand moved under my butt and I was lifted up. I buried my face in Leo's neck as I felt him hold me securely.

"We need to get him home, there's blood." Don urged.

"Where is his shell?" Mikey stated his voice sounding weak.

"We're going home. Now." Leo ordered.

I let myself relax for the first time in so long as Leo carried me home. I kept my face buried in his neck as I breathed in his comforting scent. Despite myself I found myself almost drifting off but soon I was thrown from that as I found Leo putting me down.

Chirping in distress I reached for him, he hushed laying me down before grabbing my hands in his. I looked up at him his expression was a mix of relief and worry. I felt my wakefullness return as I looked up at him.

Something touched my leg.

I swung my foot as the panic began to rise.

No, no, no, no! I can't not again! I need to escape!

"Raph! Raph it's us! You're home!" Leo shouted using his weight to push me down.

I stared up at him in shock as my heart raced in my chest. We stayed like that a few moments before Leo released me. I chirped pitifully as he lifted me up and soon I was resting my head in his lap. His hand gently pushed me to look to see Don and Mikey looking at me in worry.

"See, it's just us. You're home, you're safe." Leo hushed.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked first." Don apologized. "Raph can I examine you, I saw blood."

"My sons, you've returned early, are you hurt?" Father voice asked, I shot up struggling to look over the couch.

"Dad…" I called, as my eyes found him.

Father looked older than when I last saw him, his worn eyes widened and became glossy. His cane dropped and he raced forward, I struggled to crawl over the back of the couch to meet him. His bony hands cupped my cheeks and soon I felt strong hands help me up and over the couch. I collapsed into Father's arms and buried my face in his fur.

"Oh Raphael… Oh my son." Father cried his voice wavering as I clung to him. "Thank the gods you are home…"

"Dad! Dad!" I sobbed.

"I am here my son… I am here…" Father soothed.

"Father, Raph is bleeding." Don added.

"Raphael, may we check you over?" Father asked, I nodded.

"Raph, I'm gonna get you back on the couch and Father can sit with you." Leo stated, I sniffled as his hands went to my side.

"O-okay." I mumbled.

Leo gently lifted me up and carried me back over to the couch. As I was laid down I watched as Father moved to sit at my head. Once he was settled he gently reached over and began to rub my forehead like he had always done. I felt myself relax again as Father gently began to hum.

(Leonardo's POV)

Don looked ill as he lifted the gown up, I moved to see, and as I did I heard a whimper. I turned back to Raph who was reaching for me, Father soothed him. Cautiously I moved to where Don was, as felt my heart sink. Thick red blood oozed from his slit, his tail which now was long and spiked was covered in bloody globs some of which had dried into his scales.

"Raph, there blood coming from your slit." Don stated, "Does it hurt?"

I turned my gaze to Raph who seemed to pale and began to shake. Don stepped back not wanting to upset Raph more. Carefully I knelt beside the couch and reached over to hold his hand. He gripped my hand tightly as fresh tears left his eyes.

"My son, you are safe, you are home. But your brother's need to know so they can help you." Father soothed, Raph nodded.

"I'm not hurt… Not like that… It's from… I miscarried…" Raph muttered, I tightened my grip on his hand my anger flaring.

"Who?" I demanded, "Who assaulted you?"

"Leonardo I do not…" Father began.

"They experimented on me!" Raph shouted, I felt my heart break as he looked at me with shame.

"Raph, it's not your fault." I hushed, I shuffled closer and cupped his cheek. "I… I'm sorry you went through that… I promise no one will ever hurt you like that again."

He nodded and nuzzle my palm, I leaned over and nuzzled him. He hiccuped out a sob as I hushed him. Right now Raph needed me. I can be angry later, right now he needs me. I churred and chirped soothingly as I held him.

"Raphie…" Mikey whimpered, seems he returned with more supplies.

Raph began to settle and I pulled back and his hand waved someone over. Shuffling aside I watched as Mikey knelt beside me. Raph pulled Mikey into a hug, I smiled as Mikey clung to Raph. I teared up as he gently patted Mikey's shell hushing him.

It was just like after the accident.

"Raphie, I'm gonna help you…" Mikey whimpered.

"I know, I know." Raph hushed.

"Me too, I'll make you anything you need!" Don added.

"Come here." Raph called, I shuffled and let Don cuddle up to Raph with Mikey. "Such kind and smart little brothers I have. You two are going to do great things."

"They really are." I added, "and so are you."

(Later)

I gently helped Raph into the bath, he seemed to relax as he entered the warm water. Once he was sat in I knelt down leaning on the rim as he relaxed. His tail began to move making more bubbles form. I reached over and rubbed his head.

"Feel good?" I quizzed, he nodded.

"Been too long…" he hummed, I grabbed a cloth and offered it to him.

"Best to get that gunk off then I can run and cleaner bath if you want to soak." I reminded.

I leaned back and gave Raph space as he began to scrub down his body. Soon the water had turned a deep red and Raph looked to me raising his arms. I smiled and helped him up and out of the water. Sitting him on a towel I reached into the tub and pulled the plug.

"Want me to rinse it and refill it?" I asked, I felt Raph fall into my side. "Raph?"

"Only if you stay," he mumbled, I wrapped my arms around him.

"Of course, I'm not leaving you alone." I hushed, I kissed his head and he leaned back.

I quickly cleaned up the bath and began to fill it up again so Raph could soak and relax. Once it was full I carefully helped Raph back into the tub. He chirped in a pleased tone as he began to sink into the tub up to his neck. Leaning on the rim of the tub I smiled as I saw Raph relax.

"Leo, can I ask you something?" Raph asked.

"Of course, ask me anything." I soothed.

"What's up with those sleeves?" he asked.

"Mikey made them for me." I answered feeling somber. "It's not a great story…"

"What happened?" Raph questioned, I sighed.

"Better to just show you," I admitted, taking a deep breath I moved to slip off my left sleeve.

A gasp and a splash indicated Raph's shock and soon his wet hands grabbed my wrist pulling it out to examine. I watched sadly as Raph began to trail over the many cuts littering my arms. My heart ached as I saw he was starting to cry.

"Oh god, Leo…" he murmured. "Why would you…"

"I'll tell you another time, but I promise I'm improving, it's been a few weeks since I last cut," I assured him, I blushed as he kissed the scar from my suicide attempt. "Raph…"

"You idiot…"

"I know…"

"Do they know?"

"Kind of…"

"Donnie! Mikey!" Raph shouted, I froze and tried to pull my arm away but Raph held it tight.

Rushed footsteps began to head toward the bathroom. I wanted to yank my arm and hide my cuts but Raph held on tight. I was actually shocked how firm his grip was. If I tried to free myself I would most likely hurt him in the process.

"Raph please." I begged, he glared at me.

"Raphie! You okay?" Mikey called and I heard him and Don stumble into the room.

"Raph are you hurt?" Don questioned.

"Look," Raph stated and yanked my arm into their view.

"Leo… You… Oh god…" Don began, I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"Check him." Raph demanded, "Leo let Don check you or I swear I will do it myself."

"Don't worry Raphie, way ahead of you." Mikey chimed and I felt Mikey grab my other arm. "No more sleeves."

I cringed as Mikey practically ripped on my other sleeve. Tossing the glove aside I watched Mikey stare at my scarred arm, he looked up at me tears in his eyes. I felt my heart break as Mikey gripped my hand tight as he sniffled.

"You stupid idiot…" Mikey muttered.

"Leo…" Don stated and I felt him take my wrist from Raph and began to trace the scars.

"Nothing fresh?" Raph asked.

"No," Don added.

"Same here…" Mikey muttered.

"Oh thank god…" Raph sighed. "Leo, look at me."

Mikey and Don let me go and I turned to face Raph who was leaning on the rim of the bath. Tears were in his eyes, their new bright golden color piercing into me. His hands reached up and he cupped my cheeks and pulled me down to nuzzle me. I choked back a sob as he nuzzled me.

"You dummy…." He muttered. "It wasn't your fault."

"It was!" I shouted pulling back. "I was the whole reason you were out there! I was the idiot who fell! You were gone all because I couldn't be honest with you!"

"Not your fault." Raph insisted, "The only one at fault is those bastards who took me."

"But…"

"No. No buts. You have nothing to be sorry for. You did your best."

"I promised to protect you."

"You did, with all you had you did, and I did the same because that's what we do. We protect each other."

"Raphie's right bro, we protect each other," Mikey added.

"Not everything is your responsibility," Don stated.

"Listen to them, our little brothers are pretty smart you know." Raph soothed, I nodded and leaned over and pulled him into a hug.

"You are too," I murmured.

(Raphael's POV)

I smiled as Mikey was working on patching up some clothes for me, right now I was wearing one of Leo's hoodies. It was practically a dress on me considering our new size difference. Leo practically threw it on me when he saw me shiver after my bath. Now I was sitting on the couch under blankets Don insisted I have and sipping on the tea Father brewed for me.

"How is the tea, my son?" Father asked.

"It's good, I missed your tea," I replied, he smiled and rubbed my head.

"I'm nearly done fixing this space heater for your room. We'll find you some warmer clothes soon." Don stated, I smiled at him.

"Maybe a warmer blanket too, it's starting to get cool out," Leo added.

"Thank you, but I'm not that cold, the hoodie and blanket are great." I soothed.

"You're far more susceptible to the cold, if we do not do this you could get sick," Don stated.

"Donatello is right Raphael. Speaking of which, we should make you something to eat. Think you can stomach rice porridge?" Father asked.

"I think so," I replied, he nodded.

"When was the last time you ate?" Don questioned.

"A long time, usually got this IV thing," I stated.

"Make it with less rice and more broth, Father. His stomach needs to adjust to food again, " Don instructed.

"Understood. I shall make some. Once he has eaten, I believe it will be time for you all to try and get some sleep." Father informed.

"Can we all sleep out here Dad?" Mikey asked eagerly.

"I'd assumed you would." Father hummed.

"Yay! Sleepover! We can put on a movie to sleep to, how does that sound Raphie?" Mikey cheered.

"I'd like that." I admitted.

"I'll bring down the extra blankets for us, Raph do you need anything?." Leo stated.

"I'm good," I stated, he nodded.

I watched him head toward the storage area, I found myself retreating into the hoodie. I brought up the baggy sleeves to my beak and breathed in his scent from the fabric. His smell was comforting, I forgotten how just his scent made me feel safe.

"Raphie, you okay?" Mikey asked, I turned to see Mikey leaning toward me worriedly.

"I'm okay…" I replied, he pouted and pulled me into a hug.

"You don't have to be strong." he soothed, I felt tears fill my eyes.

"I just… I missed you all so much… I… I forgot how safe I felt here…" I admitted, Mikey hugged me tighter.

"We missed you too." Mikey replied, he pulled back and smiled at me. "Home wasn't home without you."

"I'm so glad I'm home…" I said, he smiled tears budding in his eyes.

"We are too Raphie." Mikey chimed.