AN: Wanted to write a Christmas episode but wasn't going to get to it in the normal story in time for the holiday in real life. So, decided to write an Omake for something that might happen in the story's future when the gang actually gets to Christmas (or cycles back-around to Christmas haven't quite worked out the timeline as far as the rest of the Season 1 episodes from Big Bang Theory go and this story).
AN 2: Slight spoiler: Severus Snape does show up in this chapter. (forgot we weren't quite at his appearance in the main story yet) His relationship with Eleanor isn't as bad as the relationship between Canon Harry and Snape. More of that relationship will eventually get revealed during the regular chapters once I switch back to the main story. Suffice to say without either of them being forced to play a role at Hogwarts, they get along.
Omake 1: Nakagnomi Tower
Sheldon frowned, "Aren't six Players for Dungeons and Dragons unwieldy for the Dungeon Master, Wolowitz?"
"I'll admit to preferring smaller groups," Howard admitted, "However, as I was coming up with this scenario for a holiday one off adventure, there was a part that I just knew I had to get Severus to voice for me. Now before we start any meta-gaming will be punished harshly. So, if you think you recognize the plot and try to act on that knowledge, you had better have a damn good in character reason for attempting the action."
"Meta-game," asked Penny,
"Taking knowledge that you as an individual know and apply it within the game when the character you are playing, the role you are immersing yourself in, should not know that knowledge. For instance, you, Penny, know how to hogtie and castrate a bull within 5 minutes. However, Eilonwy, the exiled warrior princess, does not know how to do so as she has never hogtied anything in her life. So, her attempting to do a 'hogtie' would be you attempting to Meta-game."
"Ah, so who are we playing?"
"I've actually set up mission briefings for each of you," Howard said, handing them each a folder, "Read them carefully. If you have any questions…"
"What the fuck is Nakagnomi Tower," interrupted Leonard, having only read the first part of his folder.
"The site of our adventure today," replied Howard sharply, "Most of you will be attempting to help Lan Mortingham," he gestured to Severus, "steal the hidden source of the Nakagnomi clan's wealth during their annual celebration of Gnomereagan Axelrod Clauzaius the Third's holy day…otherwise known as Santa Claus by humans and Clausmas."
"So, we're playing the bad guys in Die Hard…lovely," spat Leonard, "If you want to just kill our characters why don't you just use Robot St. Nick again?"
Howard had a very evil smile on his face and Eleanor had a feeling that Leonard had just prompted Howard to add a new problem to the adventure.
"Perhaps, I am simply using the movie as the basis for my idea and building off of it," he replied sharply, "Look, Leonard, you don't have to play. You can head back to your apartment or head out to Stuart's and find another group running a holiday special."
"No…I'll play," replied Leonard pouting.
Eleanor hid a smirk behind her mug of eggnog when her ears picked up the barest whisper of 'Needy Baby Greedy Baby,' from Sheldon.
"What's Die Hard," asked Raj.
"It's probably better if you don't know yet, buddy," replied Howard, "Who all actually does know?"
Penny raised her hand and Severus gave a nod.
"That actually works out pretty well. Now as I was going to say, any questions can be handled in the hallway."
Eleanor looked at her folder and saw her usual character, the vampiric gnome bard, Forty. Her chaotic evil alignment was definitely coming into play here as she was infiltrating Nakagnomi Tower to get some revenge on the Gnomes who had run her off after she had the audacity to survive the vampiric attack in her 20s that wiped out a large part of the settlement she was in.
She looked up and gestured toward the hallway. Howard followed her.
"Are you sure you want Forty to be part of this," she asked once they were both on the other side of the hallway.
"Yep," replied Howard with a smile, "Between your alignment and your friendship with Liliana Vess which still kind of creeps me out to be honest, I figured Forty could use a side quest where she didn't have to care about her party's sensibilities. So how do you want to do this?"
"Am I working with Lan or using him as a distraction?"
"Either."
Eleanor shook her head. Howard did like to prompt his players to make most of the decisions.
"How about working in tandem? He knows that I'm helping him, but the rest don't."
"Dangerous but doable. Now how do you want to infiltrate the tower?"
"I get hired to be the entertainment in one of my usual disguises," she replied tapping her ear to indicate the first magic item she'd gotten for the character, the Earring of Disguise, "Stage name will be Holly Mistletoe for this performance. The outfit will be a skimpy red number with a holly belt and mistletoe woven into the skirt."
"Where in the skirt?"
"The front right over," she gestured to where she was talking about, "And the back over my pert ass. I'm playing up the slutty entertainer part this time as it'll make everyone underestimate me."
"Alright. Now about your adventuring gear. You're not going to be able to just walk in there with your rapier and leather armor in a sack."
In other words, her normal tactic of just using her Earring to disguise the fact that she was still wearing both wouldn't work. So, she'd leave those things behind
"This seems more of a dagger and garrote kind of mission. Plus, I've got the feeling that Forty's feeling a bit peckish."
"Shall I assume that they're poisoned?"
Poison did add a bit of spice to the blood as far as vampiric blood drinking was concerned.
"Not this time. I'm assuming there's a security check. So, I might lose the dagger. Wouldn't want the garrote to be picked up thanks to poison."
Howard nodded, "Anything else?"
"I'm assuming that I would know what the target of the heist is and what I would be after even if I wasn't assisting Lan."
"Yes."
"Alright, I think I'm good."
[Start Session]
As usual, Eleanor found herself literally playing her character Forty. She was at a security checkpoint. Her lute had already passed through, the extra strings not raising an eyebrow. Her dagger had been confiscated as she had been expecting. It would have looked odd for her not to have a weapon though, so she'd given it up.
"You'll need to detach your earring," began the guard.
"I'd rather not."
"Why?"
"The magic in it is very finicky."
[Unsuccessful - Persuasion Roll]
"Not my problem, Lady."
"Then I'll need to delay my performance for a bit."
[Unsuccessful - Persuasion Roll]
"Boss said you're to go on as scheduled."
"Alright, I didn't really want to say this, but the earring is my contraceptive magic. You know it keeps handsy guys who decide to sample the 'goods'," her voice dripped with venom at the last bit, "from getting me pregnant cause they couldn't act with basic Gnomish decency around the adult entertainment. So, unless you can say your fellow guards are going to stop people from whipping out their bit of wood and putting it in my vise, you're going to either allow me to keep the earring on, so I don't have to reattune to it or you're going to give me time to reattune to it."
"Gnomes can only get gnomes pregnant and you're clearly a human."
"Some gnomes wear mech suits when they visit Big People lands, I wear magic."
[Failed - Insight Roll]
Forty sighed and began reaching up to undo her earring. She just hoped that her true face wasn't in a database. With her luck it probably was.
"What seems to be the hold up," came a familiar drawl.
She had to keep her face impassive as she noticed Lan Mortingham coming toward them from within the Tower. Figures that Severus would go for a subtle approach to this. Curiously the glint of recognition in his eyes was larger than the brief conversation they had earlier would warrant.
"She's refusing to remove her earring, Boss. Claims it's a contraceptive that requires attunement in addition to allowing her to disguise herself."
"It is," replied Forty sharply.
"Use the device that examines magic on an item," Forty could almost hear the 'you dunderhead', "If it is her contraceptive then let her pass."
Another device was pulled out and held up to the earring.
"The enchantment is composed of the Abjuration and Illusion schools of Magic, boss."
"Then it appears our minstrel friend is telling the truth. Let her keep it on and let her in. The Nakagnomis want the music to start sooner than later."
Forty got through the checkpoint and swung her lute back over her shoulder and was soon escorted by Lan to the elevator. Once they were part of the way up, he hit the button to pause it.
"Black what the fuck is going on?"
"Apparently once you have the 'interesting times' blessing, it stays with you, Professor. You're just along for the ride."
"Lovely," he drawled, "Anyone else?"
"Sometimes Penny. No one else though."
"And if you die in the 'game'?"
"It'll hurt like hell, and you'll be booted back into your actual body. You'll also shift back when someone addresses you otherwise you run on autopilot. I had Penny film a session of the main campaign once to make sure. Injuries will hurt like they would normally. You'll have access to spells through your background, but you won't have the same all-encompassing ability to use them. You're limited by this world's magical rules regarding spell power levels and how often your body can cast them."
"Anything else?"
"The dice do still impact outcomes accounting for that sheer dumb luck factor that sometimes happens regardless of preparation."
"Hence your inability to convince my dunderheaded henchman."
"I'd have probably had more luck if I had chosen seduction, but I don't like fucking just anyone."
"I do have to say that skirt is the most subtle way I've seen someone say, 'kiss my ass,'" Lan remarked amused.
"So, what's the plan?"
"Assuming competent help, we should be in and out using the cover of the party and your performance as a distraction. You'll get your cut once we're all off the premises. One 15th as agreed."
"And when things go wrong?"
"We'll take everyone hostage. If you slip away, the others will hunt you. We'll herd the hostages up to the top of the tower to get access to the zeppelins this kingdom uses for aerial transport. It'll be up to the guards whether the hostages live at that point. Will it be a problem?"
"Nope. The gnomes can fuck themselves. I was disowned after I got bitten by a rampaging vampire in one of the outer settlements. I haven't confirmed it, but I suspect the village was intentionally used as a trap to get rid of one of Elora's top generals."
There was a pause as Lan processed the information that he had as Lan about that, "Elora as in the vampire who took over the land of Sylvia."
"Yep. Thankfully the General's connection to her didn't transfer to me. Probably helps that I managed to kill the bastard and skip the 'spawn' stage."
Lan nodded.
"As for your men, if they hunt me, I will kill them."
"Understandable. You will still get paid. So, what are you really after?"
"A necklace that's in the vault. You'll know it when you see it"
"Very well. You shall have that item as long as you stick by our arrangement and don't kill me when you 'play the resistance'."
"I'll keep you to that."
"Now we had best continue onward lest our hosts get suspicious."
[Continue Session / Perspective Shift]
Joanna McClanny wasn't sure why she had come to Nakagnomi Tower. Her ex had invited her…probably in an attempt to see her without her tunic and breeches. However truthfully, she wasn't impressed. The gnomes had a 'holy than thou' attitude and the fact that she was a paladin of Hera and not a gnomish god was looked at with disdain. The fact that she was a wandering paladin and not part of any official guard was also met with derision.
Once her ex realized that gnomes didn't prize eye candy quite the same way that humans did, she had been left to her own devices. There had been a few gnomes who had approached her as she was a curiosity to them. Quite a few were wondering how sex with a human worked. She could tell. Her faith allowed her to easily identify womanizers and those that would prey on women. She had originally been connected to Hera's husband, but the bond had transferred to Hera when the goddess took over Zeus' 'Justice' aspect. Joanna couldn't complain about the change. It felt better though she still favored lightning based magical attacks.
Her eyes were drawn to Holly Mistletoe, the red-haired performer whose sultry voice was singing through a catalog of Clausmas music as she fingered her wooden instrument. There were a lot of people with their eyes on her though they pretended not to be watching. As the 'entertainment', Holly was 'beneath' most of the gnomes that attended this event. Still, she was good enough (and pretty enough even by Gnomish standards) to be this night's entertainment.
The Nakagnomis had good taste. Holly was extremely beautiful, and her voice was quite the turn on. Then she blinked. Her true sight kicked in and she saw Holly's true form. She was still beautiful, but it was more of a hauntingly beautiful darkness rather than the vivacious life filled redhead that she projected herself as in the persona of Holly. Joanna felt pity for the gnome that was so uncomfortable being who she really was that she put what life she did have into someone else.
[Critical Success - Perception]
Joanna could tell that something bad was going to happen. Holly seemed to be aware of what was going to happen, at least in general terms. Her eyes kept scanning the crowd instead of focusing off in the distance like some bards or just scanning her audience's faces. No, Holly was looking for something.
[Partial Success - Investigation]
Some of the guests had weapons on them. That was odd. Joanna's weapons had been confiscated by security when she walked through the checkpoint. She doubted that they would have let the other guests keep theirs unless…security was compromised. There was a heist or kidnapping planned. She needed to leave before something happened.
[Fail - Stealth Check]
"Where do you think you're going, beautiful," asked a large guy with muscles whose expression clearly conveyed that he thought he was the gods' gift to women.
"The restroom."
[Partial Success - Persuasion]
"Well, I'd be happy to escort you there. Wouldn't want you to get lost."
"I'm sure I can find my way to the restroom without help."
[Fail - Persuasion]
The guy looked like he wanted to let her go but someone out of Joanna's line of sight must have told him no.
"I insist."
"Fine."
She was led to the restroom and made sure she was clearly unhappy about the escort. The man to his limited credit did seem embarrassed by it. He at least had the decency to wait outside the door to the female restrooms rather than attempt to go in.
[Fail - Perception]
She used the restroom (she was there after all, and clean restrooms were to be appreciated). She had the sense that something happened while she was in there though.
[Successful attack roll]
She exited the bathroom and was surprised to find that her guard was missing. She walked out into the hallway and noticed the door to the men's room opened. Out stepped a female gnome who Joanna quickly recognized as Holly due to her outfit. She had a bit of blood on the bottom right corner of her mouth. Holly turned and looked at her and Joanna immediately felt as if someone was walking over her grave.
[Fail - Insight roll]
"You've got a bit of something right there," she pointed to where it would be on her own face.
To Joanna's surprise, Holly paused. Then she lifted her finger, touched the spot and brought her finger back where she could see it.
"Damned silverback mirrors," cursed Holly, her voice still musical but a bit higher pitch so it was closer to most Gnomish voices, "Thanks,"
Holly quickly cast a Prestidigitation at herself to clean the blood and sent the woman a genuine smile. Then she frowned as she heard something.
[Success (with assist) - Perception check]
There were screams and the sound of the mechanical multi-shot crossbows going off.
"Fucking amateurs," Holly cursed, "If you don't want to get man-handled follow me."
[Critical Success - Stealth]
Both of them blended into the shadows and quickly headed for the stairs. Joanna was tempted to go downward but saw that Holly headed up. So, she followed Holly. They stopped at the 42nd floor, 8 floors from the top.
"Hah! Trust Gnomes to forget to put up their projects," remarked Holly happily as she spotted something she had been looking for, "Prefect."
Joanna saw Holly cast Detect Magic and then pick up a small necklace with a pendant that was gold with an 'X' made of sapphires as its symbol.
"What are you doing," asked Joanna.
"Taking my performance fee as the bastards will likely use this attack to write off paying me. By Hades, I wouldn't be surprised if they put a bounty on my head for some goatshit like 'letting in bandits' or some rot. If I'm going to get a bounty placed on me, I should bloody well earn it."
"Would they really do that?"
"In a heartbeat. The Nakagnomis didn't get a 50-story tower built in the capital city of the Inventorium Empire by abiding by things like 'morals'. No, these bastards will make you vanish and vivisect you in the name of experimentation."
"What about the innocents? The people just following orders who don't know about or make those decisions?"
"The rules only matter if everyone plays by them. I learned long ago that the true way of things isn't adherence to the 'rules', No, in a world that's designed to fuck over the 'weak', the 'helpless' and the 'innocent,' you learn pretty quickly that there is no good or evil. There is only power and those too weak to use it."
[Session Break]
"Let's take a small restroom break," suggested Penny, sensing that she needed to get Eleanor away from the game for a moment as the philosophy debate was hitting a bit too close to home."
Howard took the temperature of the room, "I've got no issues with pausing the scene with you and Eleanor there for a moment. I can continue with one of the other perspectives that you two wouldn't know about anyway."
"Do you require my presence," asked Severus.
"Not for the first scene."
"Then I shall step outside for a moment and stretch my legs."
A few minutes later, Penny, Eleanor and Severus had adjourned to the apartment Penny and Eleanor shared and were around the kitchen island.
"You never did get Mind Healing for your Hogwarts misadventures did you," asked Severus.
"Mind Healing?"
He sighed, "I suppose that question answers mine. A Mind Healer is both a Muggle psychiatrist and to some extent a brain surgeon. Hit Wizards and Aurors talk to them after particularly disturbing missions or near-death encounters so as to not have the Aurors be reduced to taking potions, alcohol and other drugs to deal with their trauma."
"Why did you ask Eleanor about that," asked Penny.
"Because I just quoted Voldie," Eleanor admitted, "The bit after 'there is no…" was what he told me when I was confronting him over the Philosopher's Stone."
"Oh…Honey are you okay?"
"I guess…it's just a bit disturbing that my mind immediately thought of that quote."
"Sadly, it's not that surprising," admitted Severus, "You've been shown repeatedly that power is more important than the rules. The rules should have protected you while you were weak and innocent, they didn't so at some level you have no faith in them."
"And a Mind Healer would help with that," asked Eleanor skeptically.
"I don't know at this point," Severus admitted, "Ideally you would have had a Mind Healer after your first year at the latest. Admittedly it probably wouldn't have helped as the 'normal' people in that world are the ones who need to get their heads examined."
"I don't really want someone poking around up here again," admitted Eleanor.
"Understandable. The option exists though if you want to utilize it," replied Severus, "I'll go check if you're needed in the other apartment."
Penny waited for Severus to leave before resuming the conversation, "Are you going to be okay if we finish the game or do you want us to bow out?"
"I should be fine, Penny. It's just slightly disturbing knowing that I nearly agree with that bastard."
"Which part?"
"I think there still is good and evil, but the definitions can be warped by the people using those words into a mockery of what they truly mean. After all, everyone's the 'hero' of their own story. I know there are some lines I won't cross which is more than I can say about that hypocritical bastard."
"I think the fact that you still care about what other people think, and you haven't reduced Britain to an island of ash says that you're not a monster...well not any more than a vampiric werewolf is by default. That and I think as long as we find good ways to channel your less generous impulses, we'll be good. So, is it good to head back or do we need to head back," she asked tapping her own earring, "and blow off some steam first?"
"Let's head back over there. We can blow off steam after this whole thing's over with."
[Session resume - Perspective Shift]
Shellor shared a glance with Rajan as they listened to Leo Hoff complain about the fact that two of the people had slipped the trap and that one of their men had already been killed. Shellor was tempted to point out that had Leo just waited for Lan to give the actual signal rather than jumping the crossbow then this wouldn't have happened.
"How could he be so stupid," cursed Leo, "Two girls! One of which was a whore and the other a weaponless, armor-less paladin. It should have been easy to restrain them."
"I did advise you to send more than one guard with them," pointed out Rajan.
"It would have been a waste of resources if they had cooperated."
"Except they didn't, and one person wasn't enough to account for both of them," replied Shellor coldly, "Furthermore if you had waited we would have had men in front of the stairwell. Now there are 49 floors and the zeppelin landing pad to search assuming that they didn't make it out the unguarded front door."
"Can't you pinpoint where they are with the surveillance system? You're the 'tech genius'. Time to prove it."
[Fail - Intimidation Check]
Shellor huffed, "Our actual boss had me disable that system three hours before the party began so that the authorities would have to rely on unreliable eye-witness testimony. Furthermore, I'm needed to circumvent the timelock and the other countermeasures that secure the vault against unwanted intrusions."
"Fine. I want you," Leo said pointing at Rajan, "To take five men and go sweep the top floors."
[Fail - Intimidation Check]
"No. I'm going to secure the ground floor like the plan actually called for."
"We won't need to secure the ground floor if we find the sluts and capture them."
[Fail - Persuasion Check]
Shellor and Rajan exchanged a look.
"You can do it. We're going to follow orders."
"The orders are stupid," Leo huffed and stalked off grabbing five of the other goons and heading for the stairwell.
"Don't you have control of the elevators," asked Rajan, after Leo left.
"That is correct."
"So shouldn't he have used the elevator?"
"He should have at least sent a couple people up using it, yes. If there is nothing else, we need to leave so that the boss can deploy the sleeping agent."
"What about the others?"
"Have you heard of the word 'patsy'?"
"Oh…we're not the patsies, right?"
"No, we are not. My skills and your friendship with me guarantee that we won't be left behind. Now come along."
"Shouldn't we at least take a few of the others with us just in case?"
"Unnecessary. Come along Rajan."
[Session Continued - Perspective Shift]
"Did you slip away, Forty," asked Lan through the Sending stone he had slipped her earlier.
"Yes. I'm keeping the Paladin occupied."
"You've got 6 of the henchmen incoming through the stairwell. Feel free to thin the herd."
Holly peeked out the window as the connection ended. She would wait and see if the henchmen were stupid enough to go up to the zeppelin landing pad. On Clausmas there was an automaton that roamed the skies. It didn't matter what section of the world you were in. If you were out at night, the automaton could decide to swoop in and decide your fate. It would decide if you were naughty or nice.
If you were nice, it might give you a gift. However, no one knew for sure. If you were naughty and you likely were, then you would be lucky to come off with a severe burn or a light maiming. Death was what the naughty got, and Holly was under no illusions. She was naughty.
So, she was going to postpone her own encounter with Axelrod's creation until after it had had the chance to satiate its own bloodlust before she escaped this tower. She had what she came for, it was time to leave and make her way back out of the Inventorium Empire for other lands. Her eyes flickered over to Joanna who was admiring some of the weapons that were displayed on this floor. If she took the paladin with her, Lan could hardly complain about her bowing out early. It would account for the wild agent that his men had let loose.
She went back over to Joanna, "See something you like," she asked in a sultry voice.
That blush was adorable, "Yes..quite a few things."
"You should take them. Better they wind up in your hands than whoever is holding the Tower hostage."
[Success - Persuasion Roll]
"It would be bad for this replica of Coronacht to fall into the hands of those who wouldn't appreciate it," Joanna admitted.
Holly looked at the lavender-colored bow that seemed to be composed of a material that….
[Fail - Investigation]
She couldn't identify. It didn't matter though. Joanna liked it and that was enough to get Holly to pick the lock on the case.
[Success - Sleight of Hand]
She lifted the glass gently off the display and cast a second Detect Magic. Her eyes widened at how many powerful enchantments lay on the bow. Before she could caution Joanna, the woman reached out and took the bow off the wall. The bow bound itself to Joanna and an arrow materialized though 'arrow' was a bit of a misnomer. The damn thing was a spear that crackled with radiant magic. Being near that much radiant magic should hurt Holly but it strangely didn't.
"Hera is the protector of women," explained Joanna, seeing Holly's confusion, "Despite what you are, you are still a woman and thus under her protection."
"Oh…"
"Is there anything else we should take," asked Joanna, somehow perceiving that Holly really didn't want to talk about religion beyond that
Holly looked around frowning. Attempting to sell any of this would wind up causing her problems. Fences, people who sold 'hot' items, were very quick to rat out who sold them which items if the guards were willing to let them go. So, they would need things that were either very nondescript or items like the bow that they intended to keep for themselves.
[Critical Success - Investigation]
They wound up finding a small cache of 500 gold piece diamonds. Those things were priceless as they were the main spell component for resurrection spells like Raise the Dead. Forty also found winged boots, a blunt mace that was enchanted with something, and a Sentry's shield all of which she handed over to Joanna. She also found an onyx circlet that was studded with blood red rubies that drew her for some reason. She placed it on her head and felt as if she was shrouded in comforting darkness.
"That's one of those crowns from Sanguine," muttered Joanna, "The ones that let the vampires walk around in the day without trouble. It's why their armies have been so successful. But why is that here?"
"Maybe there's some information in the desk?"
[Critical Failure - Investigation]
Forty quickly pulled her hand away from the papers that spontaneously dissolved as if drenched in acid, taking the desk with it.
"That's not good," remarked Joanna.
"No, it's not," admitted Forty dryly, "Which means they had something that was better to destroy than let fall into the wrong hands. I wonder, maybe the Nakagnomis make these things for Sanguine? It would certainly explain their unprecedented wealth."
Joanna scowled, "If that is the case, then these guys deserve everything that's coming to them."
[Success - Perception]
They both fell silent just in time to hear the stampede of boots rushing past the door to their floor.
[Success - Stealth Check]
By unspoken agreement they both fell silent and blended back into the shadows. Forty decided to empty the liquor cabinet into her new X Pendant (she'd think of a better name later). Then they snuck out into the stairwell and carefully followed the men who had passed by.
"Fuck," exclaimed a male voice as they got close, "Cast Heat Metal. Cast Heat Metal."
"Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!," a deep robotic voice boomed out and the sounds of projectiles zipping through the air increased.
"You idiot! It's just going faster," replied another man.
"Why yes I am," boomed the robot's voice, "Thank you for overclocking me. It will not change your placement on the Naughty List though."
All six bodies hit the floor, and the large robot turned in their direction.
"Eavesdroppers. Naughty for sure. Come on out."
"Well, we didn't want to interrupt your fight, good sir," began Forty coming out of the shadows, "Would you like a drink to celebrate your victory?"
She pulled out one of the bottles of whiskey she had swiped from the office below.
"Are you trying to bribe me," asked the Robot dangerously.
"Not at all. Simply sharing what we found with someone who'd appreciate it more than we would. I'm more of a wine girl myself."
[Critical Success - Persuasion]
"Very well," replied the Robot, holstering his weapon and accepting the whiskey bottle.
Holly quickly handed over the rest of the liquor which the Robot stored in a compartment in his sleigh (which was pulled by 4 mechanical reindeer).
"May you continue to have success in shortening the Naughty List," replied Holly as the robot got back into his sleigh.
"And may you find yourselves at the bottom of said list, Forty and Joanna McClanny," boomed the Robot as he took off.
Holly let out a sigh of relief a few minutes after he left.
"I can't believe that actually worked," she muttered.
"How did that…mech know our names," asked Joanna.
"It's rumored that its creator imbued it with the truest of true sight. In any case, I've had enough of this tower. How about we fly to a nearby tavern and get some wine."
"Only if I get to kiss what's under the mistletoe," replied Joanna, looking pointedly at the sprig of mistletoe that was embedded in Holly's skirt right under where her belly button was.
"Sure. You got any weapons we need to get from security?"
"Nothing that can't be replaced. I left all my stuff at the Inclined Plane tavern."
"So did I. Figured everyone would be too busy next door at its sister establishment the Helically Wrapped Rod."
"Need a lift," asked Joanna, activating her winged boots.
"Yes please."
[End of Session]
Eleanor and Penny sat back and listened as the rest of the guys (sans Leonard) finished their scenes in Howard's Holiday themed Dungeons and Dragons one off adventure. Both were hiding their smirks behind large mugs of eggnog as Leonard had gotten himself killed by Robot St. Nick. What made it more amusing for them was that they had managed to negotiate with the robot mere moments after Leonard's character had his fatal encounter. Leonard was now pouting angrily just waiting to complain to Howard.
Sheldon was also hiding a smirk. However, he was mainly focusing on cracking the safe in Nakagnomi Tower. Raj was making sure that the routine guard patrols didn't have a reason to investigate the building beyond just a standard check in. Severus was wrapping up the loose ends and making sure that most of his henchmen got away. In the end, it was a very successful one off. Admittedly Eleanor might be a bit biased as it was her main D & D character that had gotten a few nifty upgrades.
"What the hell man," exclaimed Leonard when Howard finished the last bit of narration, "You killed me off."
"Honestly," began Howard, "If you had just followed Severus's plan it would likely be Eleanor and Penny's characters that Robot St. Nick massacred…well assuming they actually went up to the zeppelin pad."
"Would have snuck downstairs eventually," admitted Eleanor, "I blame my inherent Gnomishness for wanting to actually see Axelrod's creation."
Howard nodded and Leonard sputtered.
"But…but…"
"Severus's plan was well thought out and well executed," admitted Sheldon, "Had you followed it, Eleanor and Penny's characters would likely be trapped with the other guests instead of visiting a set of buildings that more accurately describes your character's status."
"What dead?"
"While that is true, I was thinking of 'screwed' as the descriptor."
Severus's lips twitched into a smile at that. He had caught the wordplay earlier and it was still amusing especially since Eleanor and Penny's characters were likely 'screwing' each other at the moment.
"That reminds me, I'm borrowing those establishment names, girls," remarked Howard, "Thanks for your contribution to the world of Nalaria."
"I'm just glad Eleanor picked up where I was going with it," admitted Penny, "Otherwise that would have fallen flat. I heard you guys use that line once and figured it'd be funny since the gnomes are stereotypically inventors."
"It was good timing, Penny," admitted Raj (who had been consistently drinking Grasshoppers with Severus slipping him small doses of sobering potions to keep Raj at the level of drunk where he wasn't a lecherous jackass).
"Thanks Raj."
"So we're just going to ignore my character's death," protested Leonard.
"Um…yeah dude," replied Raj, "It's a one off. It doesn't matter."
"But what about Eleanor's character?"
Eleanor shrugged, "Doesn't really matter. It'd be nice if I kept the items but if I don't that's Howard's call."
"She'll be getting those items in the main campaign," replied Howard, "Don't think I haven't noticed how the loot's been getting divided up there, specifically that pettiness with giving her silver coins."
"But that's werewolves."
"It's both," replied everyone else.
"See even Severus has picked up that it's both and he barely plays," remarked Howard, "Besides Eleanor has also passed up most of the items that I intended for her character to have for reasons I'm sure that I don't have to spell out for you of all people."
"Fine," replied Leonard pouting.
"Is there anything else," asked Severus, deciding that he was done humoring the spiteful dunderhead who was complaining about a make-believe game of all things.
"Nope. That's it. Adventure's complete. Some characters may show up again later but that'll be determined later."
"Then I'll wish everyone a good evening. Eleanor, can I speak to you for a moment?"
"Sure. Penny and I were about to leave anyway. Thanks for running the game, Howard, and for hosting us Sheldon."
"Thanks guys," added Penny.
[Scene Change]
"That was an unusual experience," admitted Severus once he was back at Eleanor and Penny's apartment (and privacy charms had been cast).
"You wound up in the game this time," asked Penny, getting a nod from Severus, "Huh, Eleanor's weird magic must have decided you were needed more for things to run smoothly than I was."
"This has happened before?"
"Yep. Happens with video games too. It's really weird watching her wind up in the TV despite really being who knows where in the multiverse."
"We've actually tested it…well as much as we can," admitted Eleanor, "The theory is our reality gets glimpse into others through what we assume are fictional works. For some reason I can show up in the more interactive versions of those worlds. I think the Potter 'interesting times' magic never really left."
"Considering you think it has its roots in both Greece and the Far East," remarked Penny shrugging.
"Getting hit with two very similar bloodline spells would make it much more potent," observed Severus, "If you can bring things back from your travels let me know. It would be interesting to see if those items would make more powerful versions of potions or if we can adapt potions from other realms to the ingredients, we have commonly available."
"Will do. Was there anything else?"
"Just this," he pulled out a potion vial, "I believe that this potion will decrease your susceptibility to silver. Consider this your Christmas gift for relocating me out of Britain."
"We got you something too," replied Penny.
There was a soft pop, and a small box appeared.
"Thanks, Winky. Eleanor mentioned that Basilisks are pretty rare so I suggested that she might want to donate some of it to you for experimentation. This box is our joint gift."
A genuine smile came across Severus's face, "Thank you. I'll keep you both appraised of what I do with your gift. Have a good holiday."
[Time Skip]
Sheldon was confused as to why Eleanor and Penny wanted him to visit them on Christmas. He had been planning on making himself comfortable in his spot and watching Dr. Who Christmas specials. Maybe the Muppet Christmas Carol once he ran out of Dr. Who. He had assumed that Eleanor and Penny would be spending their first Christmas together. Still, he liked both Eleanor and Penny so he got up and went over to knock on their door.
Knock, Knock, Knock, "Penny and Eleanor."
Knock, Knock, Knock, "Penny and Eleanor."
Knock, Knock, Knock, "Penny and Eleanor."
Penny opened the door in a Christmas red sundress that had holly leaves decorating most of it except for three places where there were mistletoe sprigs. He blinked as he realized that Penny had taken a leaf from Eleanor's most recent character and placed the mistletoe in naughty places.
"Hi Sweetie. I'm glad you decided to join us. Come on in and make yourself comfortable."
He entered and was buffeted by the smell of Christmas dinner coming from the kitchen. Macaroni and Cheese, mashed potatoes, turkey, stuffing, butter rolls, and was that a prime rib and chili?
Eleanor was bustling around the kitchen singing 'You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch' with a smile on her face that was odd for the song but was still nice to see. She was wearing a Christmas green dress that was mostly decorated with red poinsettias. There were three candy canes and Sheldon felt his face get a bit redder as he realized that they were in the same places that Penny had placed the mistletoe on her version of the dress.
"Hi Sweetie," she greeted him with a brilliant smile, "I hope you don't mind a few non-traditional sides. I just couldn't bring myself to make a green-bean casserole or buttered peas."
"Chili?"
"I figured we could use it for hotdogs and brats later. It does have beans in it so I'm not sure it still counts as chili. The information I've found about it is very contradictory."
Sheldon nodded. Even in Texas there was a debate about that.
"Was I supposed to bring anything," he asked.
"No, Sheldon," replied Penny, "We just wanted to spend the day with you. Though maybe we can watch some of the good Christmas movies later. Eleanor hasn't seen any of them. Oh yeah, I did get you something."
"Penny…," he trailed off as she rushed toward the back of the apartment.
"I think you'll like this gift, Sheldon," replied Eleanor with a knowing smile, "Don't worry about trying to get her something in exchange. I know that you view gifts as half of a social contract, but she just couldn't pass up the chance to get it for you."
Penny came out with what looked like a frame to something. He carefully unwrapped it and saw that it was a napkin from the Cheesecake Factory. Both Eleanor and Penny just smiled and gestured for him to look at it again. He blinked.
"To Sheldon. Live Long and Prosper. Leonard Nimoy…," he trailed off realizing what he had just read.
"Yeah, he came into the Cheesecake Factory with a bunch of people, and I recognized him. Didn't have anything on hand for him to sign but he was willing to sign the napkin he was using when I told him about you. Eleanor made the frame for it."
"You got me the DNA of Leonard Nimoy," exclaimed Sheldon, his hands shaking.
"Just the napkin and the signature, Sweetie. I'm just giving you the napkin."
"Thank you, Penny. Thank you, Eleanor. This gift is priceless."
He carefully placed the gift down on the table and hugged both of them. Both returned the hug which strangely felt good to Sheldon. He shook his head to get his mind back on the present.
"Let me go put this up and I will return."
Sheldon returned a few minutes later and had a very enjoyable Christmas sitting between Eleanor and Penny on their couch under a blanket and watching a Muppet Christmas Carol.