The next day
Mount Sinai
Olivia opened her eyes. She was groggy and disoriented. "Elliot…"
She felt his hand first, and then turned her head to see him next to her.
"I've never been so glad to see your eyes staring back at me," he whispered.
"Did you catch him," she softly worried.
"We did. He's going to jail for life."
He could see the weight lift from her chest, as she warmly gazed at him.
"I love you so much," she whispered to him.
The nurse came in just as Elliot kissed her lips.
"Op! Sorry, I'm interrupting. Just need to check vitals. Gave everyone quite a scare, Ms Benson. But you'll be happy to know that your hero here is your perfect blood match. Without his quick donation, you'd have been a goner."
"Guess I owe you a kidney now," she lightly joked.
Elliot was too grateful to laugh, he stared at her with a soft face and held her hand like he'd never let it go.
The nurse took her blood pressure and checked her heart monitor.
"You okay," she softly asked.
"I was so worried," he leaned in and cupped the side of her cheek.
The nurse interrupted them one more time. "You're looking great. No rush, but you have a lot of people waiting for you in the waiting room."
Olivia's brow furrowed "I don't have family, so not sure who could possibly want to wait to see me."
Elliot squeezed her hand. "Alex, Fin, Cragen. Munch is still in recovery, so they're checking on him. Was shot in the butt, but his mouth still works fine," he smiled at her. "And my family came. Most of them have been here all night. Even Kathy came with the kids, but they had to leave for school."
She held back the anxiety and tears. "That's…unexpected…"
Alex knocked on the door. Fin and Cragen followed closely behind.
"You scared the hell out of me, Benson," Alex stormed in.
She placed a vase of flowers on the side table.
"So glad to see you awake, Olivia," Cragen added. "Had us worried sick."
"Sorry," she felt embarrassed by it all.
"Just wanted to make sure you were going to pull through," Cragen smiled. "We won't stay and overwhelm you. Elliot's family will do that for us."
"My mother is a talker," Elliot added.
"Don't let them stay too long. She needs the rest. Olivia, you don't worry about this case or your father," Cragen continued. "IAB and Alex have plenty to work with."
"You won't even need to go to court, Liv," Alex interjected. "It'll be like it never happened. You'll never even need to see him again. Isn't that great?"
She nodded, and wished her mind were more easily wiped clean. "Wonderful," she lightly responded.
There was a knock on the door and Elliot's mother was pushing through. "She's awake! Praise the Lord!"
Alex kissed her on the forehead. "Don't forget to rest."
Olivia smiled as if to say "Thanks mom."
"The grandbabies wanted me to bring you these balloons and they made you cards and coloring pages for the walls," Bernie started placing things around the room and then sat next to her and took Olivia's hand from Elliot. She sat and rubbed it the way a mother was meant to do. "You poor thing. I'm sure this hospital food is terrible. As soon as you're ready to eat, you just let me know what you want and I will get it…or make it. I make a fantastic Italian wedding soup. Oh, I'll bring it tomorrow."
"Ma," Elliot cut her off. "Give her some space. She just woke up."
Olivia smiled. "It's okay. I've never had anyone make me soup before."
"Oh," Bernie lightly patted her hand. "I will always be here to take care of you, sweetheart. Right Elliot? I always take care of my babies and their families."
Elliot lifted his brow. "When she's on her meds, sure. Look Ma, I love you. Liv, needs to rest."
"Sure sure," she stood up. "You're right."
"No stay," Olivia grabbed ahold of Bernie's hand. "I'm actually hungry. Elliot, why don't you get us some pancakes."
The corner of his smile lifted. It was nice to see his mom and Olivia together. His mom was not always easy to be around. She was loving and passionate, but she was a lot of everything all at once. He nodded to them. "Pancakes. You got it."
Bernie fluffed Olivia's pillow and noticed the blood in her hair. "Let me see if I can get this mess out of your hair."
"Oh, you don't have to."
"No no. I do. I will," Bernie insisted.
She sifted through drawers and found a hospital towel and a comb. She filled a cup with warm water and lightly touched Olivia's hair. "When Elliot was a little boy he used to love when I touched his hair. He was such a cuddler. He would curl up in my lap and I would lightly play with his hair. Oh he loved that. My husband called him a mama's boy, and he was right. Of all my son's, Elliot always took care of me, even during those times I wasn't the best of mothers. I am a spirited person, you know, if you haven't guessed. I…feel too much, the doctors say. Elliot always understood me the most when I was having an episode. He took care of me better than anyone else, better than my own mother."
"That's why he's so good at his job," Olivia warmly listened and enjoyed the touch of her fingers lightly pet her scalp. She closed her eyes and could have fallen back asleep.
"See, I have a magic touch," she smiled. "Feels good to be taken care of, I'm sure." Bernie finished combing Olivia's hair. "There. Much better."
"Thank you."
"I know my kids like to say that I'm selfish and forgetful and sometimes they had to go to school with dirty clothes because I would forget to do the laundry, but I didn't have meds back then, and I did my best, and I always said 'I loved you.' Always. Every day. And I always gave them fun adventurous experiences."
Olivia had always wished for a mother that cuddled her. A mother who made her soup when she was sick. She often wondered if she could be that for any child of her own. "Was it hard to figure out….how to be a good mother?"
Bernie smiled "For me it was. It had hard moments. I wasn't good with babies. I had horrible depression, and I couldn't stay on a schedule to save my life. But we all survived, and it was worth it, and kids are resilient. They'll teach you what they need and what you need. Why do you ask dear? You're not pregnant are you?"
"No," she tensed up. "No reason," she responded, but Bernie didn't need to hear it. She could sense her daughter in law to be just needed a good woman in her life.
"You'll be a fantastic mother," is all she said before going into another story about Elliot as a boy.
The day was long, and by the next day Olivia was ready to get out of that hospital bed and back to life. It was even more tortuous that Elliot was needed in court that day, and she was left alone to watch soap operas and sit in her own thoughts.
Dr Wong knocked on the door.
"Hello," he warmly smiled. "You look radiant."
"Thank you. People keep telling me that. The secret is either this endless IV in my arm or Elliot's blood, either way. I am so ready to get out of here," she smiled back.
"I heard they're going to discharge you soon. Wanted to stop by and see how you're doing."
"I'm antsy, and I'm tired of sitting in this bed."
"I mean…this was a hard case," Wong insinuated to try and get her to open up.
"My mother's rapist.. my biological tried to kill me. Yeah, it's been…something," she tried to make light of it.
"I'm sure. Do you want to talk about it?"
Olivia uncomfortable stretched in the bed. "Not..not really. Unless the department needs me to talk about to go back to work, and then I…guess we can talk about it."
Wong looked down and nodded. "I'm only here as a friend. I worry for you."
"Why because my mother died? It's okay."
Wong could see she wasn't ready to talk. "Do you have a plan for your mental health after the hospital?"
"I'm aware of PTSD. I have support at home. I just need to get past this. I'll be fine," she insisted.
Wong smiled. She clearly had her walls up. "Well, I know you have a wonderful support system just by seeing all of the balloons and flowers in this room, but you need to talk about it. When you're ready…"
"You'll be my first call," she nodded.
That night Elliot brought chinese and "when harry met sally", and he hopped into bed with her, and they snuggled in the dim light of the hospital room.
"I can't believe you've never seen this movie," Elliot teased.
"Who has time for movies?
"This is my sister's favorite. They always had it on in the background," Elliot pressed play and fed her lo mein.
"Mmm, this is so good. Just what I wanted," she licked her lips. "What's it about?"
"What," Elliot gahoffed "Come on you at least know the famous line."
"I don't," she laughed at him. "But I'm impressed that you do."
Elliot did his best Billy Crystal impersonation. "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
Her face lit up with joy and she grinned. "You are full of surprises."
"See I can be funny," he put his arm around her and took a bite of egg roll.
The movie started.
An older man and woman appear on the screen.
"I was sitting with my friend Arthur at a restaurant…"
"Will you still think I'm beautiful when I look like that," Olivia asked.
"I'm not sure that woman was ever beautiful. You'll never look like that," He held her in his arms. "Will you still love me when I'm bald?
She laughed. "I'll love you even more."
"I turned and I said "Arthur you see that girl? I'm going to marry her. And then two weeks later we were married. And it's been 50 years and we're still married."
Olivia clicked pause. "Can we talk?"
"Yeah," Elliot smiled. "What's on your mind?"
"Ah…" she half smiled. "Beside the near homicide by my own father and marriage proposals…Wong visited me today. Asked me if I wanted to talk. In the moment I just wanted to be alone in my apartment under my favorite blanket feeling sorry for myself. But after he left I thought about it. I know I should be grieving and I'm definitely got classic symptoms of shock. And it's not that those thoughts aren't important or on the top of my mind, but what I'm really scared of right now. The only thing in my mind while I was dying on that dirty floor...was you. Losing you...us...scares me so much I could have a panic attack just knowing you went to work today."
Elliot held her close to his chest. "I know. I'm so sorry."
She pulled away from him to look into his eyes. She wished she could hold her tears back, but they had been screaming to be let loose all day.
"More than dangerous situations. And death. What if I can't be what you need me to be?"
Elliot shook his head in confusion. "You're already everything to me…Liv."
"I'm not Catholic or religious even."
"Who's asking you to be Catholic," he responded ashamed of himself for ignoring religion with her this long.
"Well…wouldn't you want me to be Catholic? Wouldn't you want to get married in a big Catholic church"
Elliot sighed. "I don't need you to be Catholic. As long as you respect that I go to church."
"And children."
"I like children," he nervously responded.
"What if I'm...what if I'm not a good mother?"
"What if you are?," his gentle way of nudging her off the ledge of a meltdown was more than comforting.
"Do we have children? Do you want children? Are we children people? And would we have to baptize them and raise them Catholic?"
"Do you want children," he was too on edge to fully answer that.
"I think I do...," she also felt on edge about the topic.
"Then I would too."
"How many though?"
He grinned at her and tried to make a joke. "Oh just like...6...maybe 7."
She slapped his arm. "Nice try."
"I don't know, Liv. How about one healthy kid would be great. Anything after that would be a bonus. I just want to be with you."
"And would we raise them Catholic."
"Ah..." he hadn't thought that through. "I would want my children to have some kind of faith. It's important to me. And since I practice faith through the Catholic church..," He didn't have to finish she was already nodding.
"Fair enough. As long as you never get upset that I will never understand why you eat the body of Christ in cracker form every week, and won't need me to be able to explain it, I'm….I think I'm okay with that," she immediately felt better and curled back up under his arm.
"That's it? That was what you were afraid of?"
"Well…there's a whole book of fear in the back of my mind that I won't be able to do my job and be a good mother, but we can save that for our next ttherapy session."
"Hm...you're cute," he blushed at her teasingly.
"No, you are," she played.
"We'll find a way to make it work, Liv. I promise."
"Do I have to wear white? At this wedding…are we having a wedding?"
He half laughed at her. "What do you want?"
"You sure do like to make me answer my own questions."
"Isn't that what therapy is," he chuckled at her and kissed her cheek. "Seriously, though. How do you see it?"
"I think...I'd like to marry you at the courthouse. Nothing too fancy," she waited for him to agree.
"Sounds nice. That last part will be hard."
"Why," she furrowed her brow.
"Cause you could make black slacks and a t-shirt look fancy, sweetheart," he kissed her on the lips while grabbing the remote and clicking play.
Though they didn't watch most of the movie.
"Should we try for a baby right now," Elliot teased.
"Funny," she teased back. "How about you just make love to me in this horrible hospital bed."
"On it," he dipped her into the bed and ravished her with kisses.
THE END
AN: Do we want a Sequel!? I have thoughts. If you're digging this universe, drop me some love and opinions.