17th of Rain's Hand
We all packed off to Four Sheilds Tavern for ale, beds off the ground, and a visit to the bath house. The first night there, Kaidan was well into his cups when he admitted to me that he really wanted to kiss me. I was a bit lubricated myself, so I told him to go ahead. Gods above! He led me outside, behind the inn, and I found out that look was just a taste of the reality. Holy Mother Mara, I think my toes are still curled from that. It was like someone lit a bonfire. He tells me that he's not good with words but that he thought that maybe he should be sure I knew how he felt about me. I told him he's a bloody idiot. It's a three-way race between you, Hrongar, and maybe Farkas. He laughed at that and got very serious suddenly and asked if I was telling him he had a chance. I stared at him for a moment before I laughed. Can you really see me – Stormblade – with Hrongar? I'd probably end up clubbing him in his sleep. He's still in love with the Empire that was and blinded to its current reality. Kaidan agreed that when I put it that way, it was rather funny. Vilkas, Farkas and I still disagree about enchanted armor and weapons. I've shown him the enchantments on Wuuthrad and Ysgramor's shield. Our founder had enchanted weapons and armor. Yet we still disagree about this. So yes Kaidan that pretty much leaves just you. That got me a second kiss that made just about everything curl. It was a bit much so I took myself off to bed to sleep off the mead.
The next day we all went to the bath house and split up by gender. I'm lying in the hot water soaking out the knots when I get a sly look from Jenassa asking where the two of us disappeared to last night. I grinned and said that we were just watching the stars. Rayya laughed and snitched on me, saying "They were out behind the inn kissing because I was standing watch." I should have known that they'd be looking out for me. Jenassa nods and tells me I deserve some happiness. She sees Eric's doppelganger as proof something irrevocable has happened. I said something about feeling a bit guilty about it but Jenassa stopped me. She told me I shouldn't, that she knew why I married Eric and it was like and trust and shared goals but not love. She also says Eric is gone now, time can be fleeting and if I think I have a chance at happiness with Kaidan to seize it with both hands. Let go of the past so the future can come. Good advice that. I agreed to try to do it.
We got done with cleaning up and headed back to the inn. I found Kaidan lounging on the porch with a bottle of mead and grinning at me. The look in his eyes made me blush which just made his grin bigger. "Little dragon, if you keep blushing like that, I may not be responsible for my actions. I might not be able to resist seeing just how far that blush goes." I asked how much mead he'd had already. He said he'd had enough to gather his courage for what he was about to ask me. I gestured for him to go on. I was a bit surprised when he asked me to spend the night with him. "This time, little dragon, there will be hanky panky. As much or as little as you'll allow. Your discretion. I promise to abide by your wishes. We can kiss and snuggle or I can see if I can make you shout or something somewhere, anywhere in between. Whatever you're comfortable with. And before you even ask, you should know that no matter what you decide, I'll still be here in the morning." I asked if he minded starting with kissing and snuggling. His grin got even bigger, and he gallantly bowed and kissed my hand.
The he tucked my hand into his arm and led me inside the tavern. The bard started to play and Kaidan bowed again, "May I have this dance, little dragon?" For the record, he's an excellent dancer and strong as an ox, if he can dip me like in that in all my kit without any hint of strain. It was exhilarating and put my blood into a simmer. When the song ended, he bowed and kissed my hand again. Gods above, I'm not sure what I've gotten myself into. When I asked why he was grinning so, he told me it was because I didn't say no. We sat in the tavern for a time eating and drinking and telling stories. Kaidan got to hear about many of our adventures including our run through Black Reach from Jenassa and Rayya. That was a bit bitter-sweet, since that's where my pup really came into his own. I think Kaidan noticed that I'd gone quiet and whispered something in my ear about peeling me out of my armor at the first available opportunity. I asked if this is what he meant in Windhelm about other ways to distract me. The only answer I got was a "Hmmmm" and a sideways look from him. I think I'll take that as a yes.
While the others started a drinking game, Kaidan told me that he'd had a long talk with Talesin about what a dovah is, what I am, what the implications of Dov Vahloki are, along with the implications of what I'd said during the battle. He said that it shocked him a bit at first, but now he has a better understanding of it and why I said perhaps in the future. Time means little to a dovah. For us, it's like standing on a riverbank while everyone else is in the river, flowing with the current, but we can look left to see the future and look right to see the past. Most joor are unaware that they're caught in the current or that any other being might not be. Predictions and prophecies, quostiid ahrk prodah, are almost as natural to us as language or magic because of our ties to the flows of time. Kaidan asked what I thought it all meant. I told him that I thought what it meant is that the joor part of me should be careful and not screw it up. The dovah in me knows things that my joor mind has difficulty accepting or processing. I wasn't born knowing that I had an inner dragon and came to it after adulthood. That has created a certain duality of nature. He gave me look that only stoked the fire already simmering in my blood. I warned him to be careful, that dragon fire can burn most anything. At that moment, I thought if I were to give voice to Yol that I could set the world on fire. I got a bit of a chuckle from him and he said, "Don't worry, I'll take you somewhere safe one of these days and we can test your theory out." I think at that point my eyes almost crossed.
Whatever it was that was written on my face at that moment, it got him to set down his mead and he practically carried me into a room and kicked the door shut. I thought that second kiss ignited a bon fire, but it was just a spark. This was a thousand times more intense. If that kiss was a bon fire, this was like being at the center of the sun itself. Every particle of my being seemed to be catching fire. I had just enough presence of mind to shift my shout to Aura Whisper. I don't want us to get kicked out of the inn for blowing the roof off or setting it on fire. I met his need and want with my own. Between us, it created an escalating spiral that seemed like it was going to grow to consume the world. It was more intense than a forge fire, more like a smelter burning away all the dross – the doubt, the lingering guilt and yes, the fear. It turned into a white hot cleansing flame that forged us together.
Somewhere in all that I kept trying to bite him. He stopped what he was doing, much to my dismay, and asked if I was hungry. Without thinking, I said, "Sos... Hin sos." He frowned and asked me to say it again but not in dragon tongue, so that he could understand. It was a bit of a struggle to get out, but I was finally able to tell him that I needed some of his blood. He nicked his thumb on one of our weapons and shoved that in my mouth. The instant his blood hit my tongue; I could feel him. His pride at being able to please me, his own pleasure, his joy, his desire, the beat of his heart, the breath in his lungs. It was overwhelming but I managed to offer up my thumb. He nicked it and placed it gingerly in his mouth. I saw his eyes go wide and knew that he was feeling me as intensely as I was feeling him. Something in him shifted at that moment and he became incredibly tender. "Little dragon, the gods themselves would have to tear me from your side and even then, I wouldn't go quietly." Those words brought down the last walls I had. Sometime later, I found myself nestled against him. His hands roved lazily over my skin when he looked at me and asked why he could see everyone in the next room in shifting, shimmering reds and blues.
I must have blushed because he chuckled and was happy and proud that I'd been so lost in him that I shouted unintentionally. I had to explain that this is what people look like to me when I use Aura Whisper. If he can see that like this, when I shout, does that mean he can shout? Or that he can learn to shout? Or is this something new, some side effect of our blood-bond? So many questions to answer and those answers are all lost in the mists of time. There is a way that we might uncover the answers to all of these questions, if his ancestors are willing to talk to us. We talked for a while then and I told him everything I'd uncovered about the Akaviri including the Dragon Knights. I also told him that some Akaviri were known to be able to shout but hadn't been able to find anything out about how they learned to do this. I told him that if we conduct a Proving Festival, we might be able to contact his ancestors for more information, but I had to warn him that they might judge him harshly. The stories about Proving Festivals are bit of a mixed bag. Some ancestors are beneficial, kind and even helpful to their descendants. Some ancestors are angry, others are just recalcitrant, but I'm hoping that some few of them might be willing to help us. It seems to me that much of what they were in life carried over with them into death. With neither of us knowing much of his family, it's a gamble. It also means uncovering more of his family heritage. The more names we can locate, the greater the chances we have that one of them will speak with us, know what we do not, and aid us. No one else seems to have the answers that we seek. Short of going back to Mora, which I flatly refuse to do, the only other path I've been able to find is to reach into the dusts of time to his ancestors and get them to tell us what we need to know. This clearly made him anxious, so to comfort him, I kissed him. The next thing I know, the fires are burning out of control again.