(ˆ·.(ˆ·.(ˆ·.(ˆ·.(ˆ·.(ˆ·. At the Mayor's Quarters… .·ˆ).·ˆ).·ˆ).·ˆ).·ˆ).·ˆ)
The way he'd let his tempestuous words flood forth in a cascade, he could believe in abilities to awaken the dead.
And had his loved ones heard such cluster-bombs while he'd reach his feet, shaking with tremors the whole while, no doubt the beltings he'd have beared would've beared a guarantee, good as gold, that he'd remain the last on their family line. Especially after what he'd reserve for General Zapp, which upon finally losing breath, he'd pay furtive looks for any spirits in awaiting.
Especially to notice the fallout of sudden and outright wars, which'd devolve whatever guts he had—iron wadded with copper, to wit—into no better than fool's gold. Even as Bender had stowed away some high-tech hardware—long-lost arms of his Captain, seemingly—could only believe they were better off thinking of biblical loopholes.
Not helping, no doubt, a laser barrage to remind him of ravenous termites, as it tore apart their only protection and forced a scramble. Both ladies to return fire, as he'd remain behind to use bricks—Mayor to provide plenty—to try and cave heads in. Complacency, hubris, arrogance; temporary yet true power, perhaps, to believe that arms training was beneath him.
Perhaps just as well though, to watch how those ladies would duck, dive about and dash, only to still end up riddled with holes, shut down in short order trying to thin their numbers. Upon his own clone getting practically atomised in moments after, would cop a series of cramps back on bridge to send for the bathroom.
Soon as he got out, much the worse for wear, came virtually eye-to-eye with a face to match her hair; no chance to state his case before she'd shake him like a cocktail and Magic 8-Ball all at once.
"You better get a grip before I—"
"This isn't helping! Just, lemme sit down a—"
"We HAVEN'T got the time! Not when we're staring down a battle that makes every war ever fought on Earth look like a lovely little kumbaya."
On-board phone to ring and clatter, a constant which'd draw her scream and the line ripped right out.
"We make it outta this, I swear to God I'm gonna kick his fu—"
"Shmeasy Captain, shmeasy! Bender's still down there, and if all we're doin' is throwin' fits, then—"
"Nooo, YOU THINK?!"
His and Amy's souls rattled, which'd have her pause and breathe, "Ahhh dammit, sorry guys. Just really so sick of Brannigan and his bullcrap. Look, we gotta get a better view, survey what's goin' on."
Flying far out of detection range, and thus further barrages, nobody on board could pin down the grainier details of military versus mechanical might—never needed to, though, to realise how those oceans of red would gush through their land; a more one-sided obliteration he'd never heard of.
"Okay"—would clap hands—"not that anybody asked, but I propose a new meaning for the word 'waifus', or rather, acronym… What an incredibly fucked up situation."
"Waifus? I'm almost afraid to axe, but whatever did THAT mean before?"
"If we make it out, I'll tell ya all about 'em. At least, that I can recall from rabbit hole research."
A handshake to hold him to that, before they'd return to their reconnaissance, circling those quarters that, naturally, reached closest to the skies. Everybody to gather, with enough strafing, that those defenders weren't taking any more chances—half-dozen elites on the detail now, the pride of R.J. Gatling in all of their arms, indeed laser variants at that.
"Dunno 'bout you ladies, but unless we've—"
"If you're gonna suggest 'miracles', Thomas, YOU be my guest in going out there. The second they stop, and no telling when, you'll be lucky if a single ATOM remains of—"
"What, you don't think I didn't see the massacre of men down there? When the time for talk's hit the bricks, how else might you propose we get Bender back?"
"Especially since"—Amy got in between—"our Mayor's reign might end just as his Pharaoh's did?"
Pulls of ponytail to worry she'd tear it clean off, "Alright, ALRIGHT! Just as well we gave ourselves a few days; Med-Bay's got a tube in the cabinet. While I certainly don't think this alliance can be saved, think we can agree to be grateful to get out in one piece."
Rushing all at once to get rubbed down, hoping they were well-insured, they'd return in a virtual blink back to bridge; once Leela navigated Bessie as careful and close as she could, it was straight down the elevator shaft below deck—this time, reserved for rescue, and NOT just any old cargo.
"Amy, Thomas," Leela huddled them close. "If Captain Blunderpants' crusade kills us all, just know that you both made truly fine crew. Been an honour serving as Captain."
"Ditto and hear, hear!" would spring to salute. "Our privilege, I might add, that you'd lead us."
"I second that Ma'am. Now let's grab Bender and get the spluck outta here."
What'd happen next would remind him of athletics meets in days of his youth, or rather, provide stark contrast—unlike his javelin toss which somehow won first place, Leela'd toss him long and straight like he were shot from a taut string, through the window and embedding right inside a wall.
Popping himself out and shaking his head, would then catch Amy mid-flight, then await Leela as she leapt in right after. Security details, just about to leave satisfied that all seemed well, would then wheel about as he and the ladies gathered in a straight line, contempt calculated over their faces.
"You shall run as red as the rest of your vermin this day—exterminate with extreme prejudice."
A brilliant though brief laser show to result, each elite to soon lie as shredded as their clones and leave the crew in a golden silence. Upon that moment, flashbacks of tragedies while he'd watch Leela approach the Mayor; her calm to remind him of receding waves, that which'd hold back a far mightier force.
The sort to begin with a mean cross into metal jaws; from there, beyond a year's worth of pure vengeance spilt into that mother of all beatdowns—had nobody yelled out, would say without qualm she might've taken that tinman apart.
"Hey, hey, what gives?! I thought you wanted to rescue this lovable rascal, not send him to recycling."
"That same Officer you were strangling just before was out to find good in you. This is what it would've been, were it MY call to make."
"Cueball put you up to this? And wait, didn't Fry only want—"
"Of all beings, you didn't spot so obvious a lie? Oh, and newsflash, Fry's not here, though far from what I'd always feared, he actually remains alive, watching in the shadows. In fact, opened your can of whoop-ass—obligingly so—on his behalf."
"Ohhh, I knew it! I knew the both of you no longer cared about me."
"As if you've any right to talk. Condemned us to be ripped apart by our arch-nemesis, who instead let us go to live as his slaves, one way or another. That's what you call caring about others?"
"What the hell are you on about, bossy boots?"
"For the longest time, my fact of life was that my truest friend's final moments would involve who I thought was our best friend deserting and leaving us to die. All because he couldn't bear to take a tiny back seat in our friendship, one with no guarantee of going further."
"Super King takes a back seat to nobody; you both knew that."
"Yeah, and where has that gotten us, you iron-clad idiot? It'd get Fry captured, experimented on, turned into a servile force of nature. I became a shadow of myself, to the point I'D actually betray as you did, against people far less deserving. And as for you? Thousands of lightyears from Earth, with no ability to indulge freedom nor pleasure, and absolutely no way back."
"Tossed yourself out your own sandbox, one might say, cause you just couldn't share," couldn't help but smirk. "Seems to me your intelligence was artificial after all."
No icier glare to ever get, as Bender, wearing many a dint from old decisions, was helped to his feet, Captain clapping a shoulder while he'd continue on.
"I've heard the stories; the INSTANT you tried any crap with me, you'd be off to the scrapheap, no second chances. I'm that sort of man, but Fry? The real Fry? All he hoped was that you'd be okay being one of his closest over being exclusive. A far better deal, and one we can still make happen, if your chaos could serve us for once."
"Besides, mightn't have a choice," Leela'd point out. "Doubt these friends of yours are gonna see you hanging out with humans and simply assume the best."
Grins all around as Bender would almost short-circuit, seeing his philosophy turned against him before being baited into a proper trap. Not long after, the Mayor's sash to see folded and tucked inside his compartment, before he'd wrap his arms around everybody and begin reaching out to Bessie, still hovering in park.
A rather quick retraction though, when a drive-by of lasers would rattle right into her sides—while not enough to explode her into smithereens, it'd still send her careering out of reach and right out of sight, stranding all four in that very moment.
"You have GOT to kidding me!" Of all the things to have happen to us?"
Exacerbating this sudden reversal of fortune, the walls to soon start pounding—defenders imminent, and no access to any escape. Bender to then search inside again, and soon pull out a gun bedazzled with enough bling to blind an entire crowd.
"If we're given no other choice, then these comrades shall get their 'do svidaniyas'. So sayeth Bender the Magnificent."
"Don't do anything rash just yet, Bender," came Leela's command. "Play our cards right, we might make it out."
Panic to perhaps think of it, but a command he couldn't heed—as overheard—when they'd end up swarmed; would snatch the gun and aim about with fevered look, a none-too-popular idea among anybody who'd matter.
"You outta your squishy mind, meatbag?"
"The hell are you doing, rookie?"
"Thomas, you better hand that over this—"
"HOLD IT!" he'd ignore them all. "Whoever makes a move next is gonna get it, and it's not only this gun that's loaded. Unless you wanna lie like your friends there, you'll cease and desist right now."
"Even without noses, degenerate, it's clear you reek of desperation," came mockery from the crowd.
"Yeah, and that should chill you right to your cores. For we looked like easy pickings to those elites too; they'd end up destroyed by their arrogance. If still you insist, then I'll let your oil balance all the blood spilt today."
Eager to prove his point, he'd give away his gun and grab a corpse, to crush and shape piece by piece into a tight, dense ball, with a certain haste, that he'd keep carried in his hand.
"We hear your concerns on how horrid we are, especially now, but let this make clear that we're more than mere human. So how 'bout you hear US out, just for once?"
"Nothing more than fancy tricks—you had your chance, and you can forget any ideas of any do-overs."
"With all respect, how faulty's your logic that we'd come intending to create war, piss upon an already paper-frail alliance, if it were obvious that all that'd remain was a river of red? Especially when we were the ones to kick the talks off in the first place? Lug nut shortages, remember?"
"Yeah, and at great risk mind you," Leela would point. "All this to say we literally had no idea of any 'peace missions', nor would we have wished for any. And it's not like we can reach, never mind demand a thing, from our Democratic Order, nothing but a bunch of sorry excuses for bureaucrats."
"It mightn't look it"—would again step forward—"but we were caught in this crossfire too. One of complete stupidity, even by our lacking standards. If talks or trade deals are through, I can absolutely get why, but all we ask for is clemency. A chance that maybe—a BIG maybe—us three and Bender can right our recent courses, and—"
Words fated to fall on deaf ears—no ears, really—when the gram in his hand became the tonne it really was inside a second; his jerk forward and drop—to avoid crushed hands—to end up mistaken for offense.
Couldn't even blink twice before he saw nothing but green, felt a great roaring heat engulf him; surging bursts of plasma which, in spite of near-instant reactions and crewmates readily giving bodies, would rip right through most of his body.
"Dammit, he didn't mean to—Thomas, c'mon, speak to me!"
"Sorry Captain, guess this always was a one-way ticket."
"Enough of that talk! Long as you've got those worms, you've got a chance!"
They—with considerable strain he'd wager—to be the only things keeping him conscious and not screaming, somehow. Never would've picked up, thus, that virtually thirty seconds after, a missile and stream of lasers would send that crowd right to the junkyard. Alone and safe at last, best he could tell…
(ˆ·.(ˆ·.(ˆ·.(ˆ·.(ˆ·.(ˆ·. Aboard the Nimbus… .·ˆ).·ˆ).·ˆ).·ˆ).·ˆ).·ˆ)
"Yeah, excuse me purple lady, but General Zapp has requested you on board; if you'll come with me?"
By no means an enviable position, signing up for Democratic Orders yet serving the Nimbus; saw it in his eyes while he'd beckon with certain urgency.
"You tell Brannigan that I'm not going anywhere. And that if he insists, he won't like the purpose of my visit."
"Lady, it's hard enough having to take his orders. He says your safety's high priority, and that he'll have my hide if I delay. Also had to come alone, as if THAT—"
"Chances are you're new, so you don't know his depths. Not your fault, but for your sake, don't find out… Sorry Amy, gonna be gone a little bit; look after each other for me."
Leaving behind her cream, she'd venture off with the private in his personal craft; from through the stars to inside Nimbus's hangar, what she'd imagine she'd discover behind that wannabe Casanova's stunt to leave her grinding teeth.
Especially when from afar, she'd watch the man swivel an empty glass, rub and stroke his black velour gown, all while a selection of his men—what'd remain of them—were dragging their feet with despondence on deck. The only sign of life, their eyes hoping to stab her with a glare; regardless of knowledge or desire, she WAS the cause, and one to possess a notably grave effect.
Especially to serve, she'd bet, as only a reward over some 'riveting rescue'; no bitterer taste known and no glass to bite neither, as after a contrite grimace to the grieving, knew this'd quickly prove the latest test of her guts, nerve, and head. Especially when she began to overhear exactly what was on that man's mind.
"Captain's Journal, star date 10031.9. Beating—"
"Sir, that's not even a real—"
"Quiet Kif, I'm dictating! Where was I… Ah, beating Chapek-9 back to the Stone Ages to save my beloved, our celebrations are imminent, and I'm betting, intimate." A sensuous growl, to kick in a sudden sickness. "The vintage is chilled, my gown's clean and pressed, and my Lovenasium's spotless from ceiling to floor. Mmmmm, Daddy's desserts are comin', and he's hungry."
A film of rancid bile to then coat her tongue, coupled with thoughts of running like hell, only to find Kroker, tapping keys with a grumble, pass her a glance suggesting it was most mutual.
"Some General, sending everyone else on a stupid suicide mission, then acting like the hero after."
"Do we have a problem, friend? Do speak freely."
"Ohhh, that won't be necessary Sir. Not like you have a hope of—"
From time to time, she did get curious over how Amy's beau got along, especially to think of all the times he'd hear obvious defeats get twisted into 'victories.' Of how he'd be ordered to advise families, thousands even on good days, that a husband, father, brother or son weren't coming home—often over a mere vanity project as opposed to the glory of Earth's defence or humanity's advance.
Against a man who didn't even pretend to care about anyone else's best interests, was he the praying type? Did he join the Privates, Corporals, and Sergeants beneath him, in whispering to the stars? Wasn't sure she could answer, but right now, she was out to ask the questions…
"Ahhh, there she is… My cyclopean conquest, craving another taste of the Zapper."
Almost skipped the asking once that gloved hand trailed below, as if the eyebrow tangoes and hideously violating his velour weren't enough.
"Not at my most desperate, Zapp, nor your wildest dreams. I've other matters in mind, besides; maybe you can help me out."
"Ah ah ah Leela, refer to me as General… And really, what matters besides champaggin and coitus, a celebration to us—how 'bout I rock your world, see what you say then?"
"Because right now, and ESPECIALLY with you, they're the absolute last things on my mind. Buuttt, that's not to say I'm unwilling to entertain a deal."
"Playing hard to get, are we?" he'd chuckle, cross a leg over the other. "Against a negotiator like myself? Very well, let us pour ourselves some bubbly, and get down to business."
A click of fingers to have Kif pour for both—even then, would carefully check over her glass—before she'd place a palm upon her hip.
"So, 'General', quick question… How many men did you send to die for my so-called safety?"
"Excuse me? Leela, like that's any way to kick off a party."
"Do I look in the God-damned mood? Just answer, for our sakes."
"Alright, fine, but only for you. That everyone bothers me about, fifty to one hundred even while the reports roll in. I'd say after our moment together, I oughta collect myself a few medals."
Could've sworn to hearing the word "thousand" in between conspicuous coughs; was all it took to put the reason behind icy receptions beyond doubt.
"All those men, like lambs to slaughter, for a minute's worth of action…" Everything she could muster then, to maintain even a semblance of composure. "Another thing. That gala where we met again, months ago; anything spring to mind?"
"Too much wine and tales of bra-vay-do, that I can recall. You really gotta ask?"
"How 'bout how you'd harass my fiancé, that you'd be willing to ensure his failure if necessary?"
"Doesn't ring any bells, but yes, I could picture myself being so daring."
"Ohhh, could you now? Did that include this 'peace mission' that began with your stupid yodel, and ended with placing us on the warpath? Putting my crew and I into catastrophic harm's way, all so you could 'rescue' me?"
"And your point to all that is?"
"I'm just saying, the timing's too convenient, the arrival too coincidental. And actual adequacy for once? Like I'm gonna leave THAT to chance—why are you really here?"
"Well my bodacious babe, Brannigan's Law is just like his love; hard, fast and cheap. I figured upon our encounter that your Officer was all sizzle and no steak; ever since that 'ren-des-voos', I had ordered scouts on deck to keep a vigilant eye."
Whole body to tremble and grip on glass to tighten; a far darker matter to suspect in motives, to begin fuelling her worst impulses.
"And I don't s'pose that you gave orders like, say, destroying our only means of escape? Of sending help only AFTER he got shot?"
"Brilliant, isn't I darling? At my own convenience, your Officer would be offered a test of my choosing—a battle, this day, to back up his fighting words. Must say I was mostly not impressed; guess you're gonna need a man who actually CAN fight for and defend you."
That confession, alongside hearty laughs to supposed cleverness, to start forming cracks in her flute glass. Yet onward he'd blunder, oblivious to her electrifying eye and steam coursing out her nose.
"No need for thanks, of course, just doing my duty as Captain of our Democratic Order… Maybe your beautiful kiss to kick things off though?"
Whispers for her tongue among all his lip smacks, yet calm as could be, she would down her champagne, set her glass aside, then size up her accidental, and since regrettable, fling. A full head taller and likely twice her size, but not for nothing she made sure to earn her black belts and stripes.
Still, wasn't above any advantage to work with; letting a finger stroke his chest, adding a romantic lilt to her voice, she allowed the man to melt into her hands as if he were chocolate in sunlight.
"You want a kiss from little ol' me, Big Z? I can't possibly reach up there; maybe on your knees I might?"
He to oblige in a near-instant, and she to then stroke all about his shoulders and cheeks: "On behalf of Planet Express, on behalf of Chapek-9's citizens, on behalf of DOOP and all its personnel… And finally, on behalf of myself, here's the biggest kiss you deserve."
Would then pucker her lips, really draw out the noise to hide any actual hand-rubs and flexes of fingers; moments later, her palm to strike his cheek and place new emphasis on 'thunderclap', causing the Nimbus to stop and collectively gawk. The General's glass to be sent flying from his glove, as lone tears and sniffles would accompany a ginger rub.
"My princess, what's the big—"
An uppercut like lightning to snap that jaw shut, followed by a lunging front kick to send him crashing to the ground; every intention to savour these minutes, as she soon took a full mount and let her lefts and rights take apart the general—virtually at will—with a righteous fury.
"You and I were a mistake… One I never wanted in my life, and one you've NEVER let me move on from."
Knuckles to soon blacken eyes and bust noses open: "And ever since I stupidly gave in, you've used the lives of loved ones AND my own as bargaining chips to get me back into bed. Over and over, you'd prove who you really were behind the 'hero' you'd pretend to play; Vergon-6, Stumbos-4, Chapek-9…"
A grip of velour, to bring his mangled face level with hers: "So I'm only gonna tell you once… Leave me the HELL alone, or so help me God, you'll be lucky if I leave you breathing next time."
"Why Leela, why? What could your Officer ever know of my loyalty? Of all I'd sacrifice, for one sexy night of you?"
"What loyalty, Brannigan? What sacrifice? As if you'd know what either word meant, letting those good men give up their lives while you sat on your lard ass casually destroying alliances that took years to build. Again, for maybe a minute's action."
"Good men? Surely you jest. Means to an end and nothing more—I give orders, they follow them, end of story."
Cheeks to flush as red as rubies, "Orders that a better superior would feel disgrace over, to let them leave their lips. Now if I hear one more word outta you, Slurm-for-brains…"
"Get over it girly," he'd cough. "Neither they nor your fiancé can get between us now. So how 'bout you give me a 'recharge'?"
No single soul to intervene the entire time, not even upon hands over his throat, her berserk—as if possessed—headbutts to the temple that'd leave quite the gash. Only upon his persistent cries, its profusive bleed, did some—albeit half-heartedly—get her away, and get to nursing wounds.
Seeing her hands and face drip and stain the deck, would rise back up and take a deep breath, satisfied with her lesson save for a need to tack on an addendum. So much a desire to settle this latest score, unhealthy as that was, she almost forgot there was justice to see to—turning around, a word she'd hope would penetrate that crowd.
"One more thing, buddy, and make it your immediate priority. I want my crew rescued AND nursed back to health, INCLUDING my Officer. I also want my ship repaired, upgraded on the DOOP's dime. You say or do otherwise, your little Zapper might end up, shall we say, dismantled… Do I make myself clear?"
Getting her affirmation, however awful the sound, she'd then turn heel and ask about for the bathroom, hoping to wash up. Not a one to give directions, but to her great surprise, a break out of approving nods and golf claps—even Kif, proclaimed the loyalest of all, to look as though Amy was sitting on his lap in hot lingerie.
"Wait, I'm not being arrested? Not even a warning? Am I actually seeing this?"
The word to travel fast, and have her ask further questions of her already dubious reality; far from her grievous harm attracting instigations, or even irritation, she'd attract greater approvals the farther she got—high fives, back slaps, hurrahs, culminating with a guard of honour out at the hangar.
"All his talk of armies, high friends and loyalty, and he hasn't any idea… I mean, even more so."
Gave her much to think through, before her attention got redirected by the arrival of her crew; Amy, a grim look to give, Mayfield, who'd be rushed right off to their Med-Bay, and Bender, much more his natural self to NOT be chassis-deep in a mortal conflict.
The three to soon get an escort to an empty quarters—more than enough to spare, and sadly not just since that entire robot engagement.
(ˆ·.(ˆ·.(ˆ·.(ˆ·.(ˆ·.(ˆ·..·ˆ).·ˆ).·ˆ).·ˆ).·ˆ).·ˆ)
Barely enough space for a single soldier never mind three guests, these quarters she'd scan about; single bed, a bedside table, an attached lamp fixture, and that was it.
While Amy would rock herself more than a bit, no doubt rattled by recent brushes, Bender would find a leftover beer, likely from a dead infantryman, and start drinking, his back turned to them all. Thought nothing serious of it, as she called them all to attention.
"It's been too long since I've said this, and wasn't sure I'd say it again, but I'd like this moment to welcome Bender back into our crew."
"Who in the hell is this 'Bender' you refer to?"
Gave only a nervous laugh, unsure of the joke. "Don't tell me, you'd prefer Mayor Rodriguez?"
"Wrong again, witchy woman. Had you paid actual attention at all, you'd have known you instead rescued—"
His sudden spin, and an all too familiar soul patch to now rest on his chin. "Flexo!"
A rattle off of serial numbers and certain details, to leave her and Amy clapping hands to their head.
"All that bloodshed, all that chaos, all the effort and destruction, and we got his damn DOPPLEGANGER?! Son-of-a—now we really have to—"
Was just about to race off for the hangar, when she'd hear heavy laughter break out.
"What in the hell's so funny?"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA, you should've seen your face! That's what you get for forgetting me, Bender."
Magnetic metal to strip off his chin, a response she'd repay with requests for a hug—at first—before she'd reintroduce her boot to his chin with her customary yell.
"Aye Chihuahua! I sure didn't miss those."
"But unlike Flexo who was a one-and-done thing, I did miss you. Even if I really, REALLY hated you."
She'd then offer him a hand, which with a cry of "Aw, what the heck?" would allow himself to be pulled up into a hug, both fearing to let the other go. Amy, perhaps stirred by the solidarity, to join in as well.
"Listen, we've a long way to go yet, and day by day, a greater chance than not that Fry won't be saved. But thanks to our Officer, I think we've still a long shot, and I never believed that before."
"Don't know where you dug him up from, but even for my expectations, he'd prove himself adequate."
"Yeah, and to think he'd remind me of you, and so much so, I thought of turfing him out as well."
"Then assuming he makes it, he and I might get along. Not well, but enough. Until then, point me to the closest bar—I've a year of boozing to catch up on!"
Voice to trail off while he'd strut out, humming a folk song; memories to pay a smile towards before she'd fix her gaze toward Amy, seeming a little better than first brought in.
"First of all, whatever I've said in the past, I wish I never did. You did me SO proud, stepping up to your part; if you fancy the title, just might make Captain yet."
"Awfully big boots to fill, Ma'am, but thanks."
"I've more faith now than you realise. Second, I imagine that madness on Chapek-9's gonna torpedo whatever plans we had, so let's get some alternatives going."
"You mean after all that, we can't rest for even a day?"
"Don't think we can afford to, I'm afraid, certainly no thanks to Captain Combover. Have to believe old Reggie's got friends inside, that now he knows what we've been up to."
"Shmease, I'd say it's hard enough trying to survive here; who's got time to be a double agent? Especially if Zapp knew?"
"You're kidding me, right? We talkin' the same man who—if what I've heard was true—couldn't tell apart a crab from his own soldiers, all during an invasion he'd instigate?" Could only sigh, before she'd continue. "Still, least my message was made clear; Zookeeper can back his tough talk with tortures all he wants, but I haven't even begun to whisper yet."
A phrasing to awaken a certain resolve, send an anticipative shiver right through all of their bones.
"Miss Wong, I think it's time we declare open season on men in safari suits; we'll start with a thing I shall call 'Operation Bophades."
"Operation Bophades?"
Only had to raise her fists, to make her meaning plain. "But like the boil he's been on my life's ass, we'll have to bleed him dry first. Over time, expose who he really is."
"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?"
"Well, we each have a specialty in something, of that I'm certain. You by virtue of your parents, I on behalf of my training, and Bender by way of being a crook right to his core. Together, we'll be like a pitchfork; right now, that's the gist I've got."
They'd sit on the bed awhile, brainstorming, when Bender would return; only just noticing his shiny chin, knew he was already a few bottles deep to say nothing of the several in hand. Suspect oil sweats too, though she'd figure it best not to ask.
"Ah, was hoping you'd be back. Listen, if you wanna get back into good graces, I'm gonna need a favour."
"Screw that! Done enough work trying to protect your fleshy asses from my friends. So if you'll excusez-moi, mon Capitan, I'll be—"
"I see, though it seems a real shame," she'd remain unmoved. "Guess your true self's dead and gone, and gotta accept it—how he'd revel in causing chaos and mayhem, though…"
"Ello, what's that you say then?" saw his antenna spring. "Lady, I think we know damn well there's no better vandal than me, Bender."
"No better time than now to prove such words, me thinks. What I'm thinking is, whatever's got Archbury's grubby paws all over it, I want you to discover; once you do, do exactly what you do best. Teach him what true villainy tastes like… No need to elaborate any further, I hope?"
"You had me at felonies; say no more, Captain."
"And how can I help?" Amy'd pipe up.
"Glad you axed. Since you're the more social of us all, you'll be out mingling and mixing it up, maybe starting with your parents. By the time you're through, I want no soul alive, of any power or influence, to give 'ol Reggie even the time of day. Think you can handle that?"
"I'll do the best I can, even to hate the idea… So what does that leave for you?"
"Back to where the hell began. Never thought I would, but then, I said the same thing over seeing Fry again. Knowing now that there's a chance, especially after Bellevue, I intend to take that back, and make the man responsible suffer as he made me."
"Do be careful, okay? Rookie's 'sobering up' still lives rent-free in my head; just imagine what Reggie will do, to believe he's a cornered man."
"Cross it when we get there, but now, we've work to do. Once we shop around back home, and our ship's repaired, I'm going to drop you off at the ranch. Work whatever angle you must, to get them seeing things your way, clear?"
"As rain, ma'am!"
"And Bender, I want you to raise such hell, the Robot Devil himself will pack his bags and move. You got what it takes?"
"Bet your one-eyed ass I do!"
"That's what I wanted to hear. Now let's add that bloated bag of crap on the endangered list!"
A holler once the hands went in, crew to then await further news on repairs and upgrades, supposedly coming along real quick by a crew who couldn't sing her praises enough. Even before the Zookeeper, she had come to know of serial killers, con artists, pretenders and brutes, a who's who of toxic sorts.
But this time, only hazmat suits and the thickest gloves, so to speak, were ever going to do.