Ryan had chosen a small hotel a short drive away from the bar. It was cozy and comfortable with furnishings that had a home-made touch, like the patchwork quilt on the bed.
It had no kitchen, but there was a fireplace with a stack of wood and kindling sitting beside it. "I'll get a fire started," said Ryan, "You get the heat going and we'll be able to get rid of some of the dampness in here."
She turned on the little heater and watched as Ryan's skilled hands built the fire and got it burning. "That's nice," she said, "Feels good, I love fires.
Ryan sat in front of the little stone fireplace and held out his arm, "Come and sit next to me."
She was as reluctant as she was eager, but she was hesitant as she sat next to him. She was not prepared for what came next, he pulled the scarf she always wore from her head then gasped as he saw her hair.
Almost two inches showed where her roots had grown out, the blond contrasting sharply with the black. She wanted to replace her scarf, but it was too late now, Ryanl had seen.
"Ryan, please don't be angry, but I've been hiding who I am because I am afraid of my ex-husband don't want him to find me. My real name is Anicka Perez Lansing. My mom's Mexican but my dad's English. I don't know how I wound up with blond hair, my sisters and my brothers all have black hair like my mother.
"I came up here because I was afraid that my husband would kill me if he found me, but there is one other reason I didn't tell you. My brother Benito went missing around the time my dad died. The last letter we had from him was postmarked "Paradise Valley". He told us that he'd gone to work for an outfit called "The Yellowstone" but that's the last we heard from him.
"There's no way he wouldn't stay in touch with us, our family is really tight. After not hearing from him for a year we're worried that something might have happened to him. I need to know if anything has happened to him, if there's a reason, this has been hard on my mom and the rest of the family.
"I'm sorry I never said anything, but would John Dutton have okayed hiring me if he knew? My brother was a real straight up guy, honest and hardworking. He worked for the people that leased our pastures, and he wanted to learn as much about ranching as he could. He would have been drawn to someplace like the Yellowstone, or what he thought it was. Tell me, do you remember if my brother come to work at your ranch or not?"
"I remember a Mexican kid," said Ryan, "Said he had some experience but definitely had room for improvement. He could ride and he could rope, and he was comfortable working with the cattle.
"He left after a week, though. His horse and saddle, equipment, and truck were gone. He didn't even pick up his first paycheck. I've seen some hands come on and then leave. Mr. Dutton has had some pretty rough men working for him at times, but we have a pretty good crew now. Maybe something scared him off?"
"Well, do you think was it my brother? He'd use either Benjamin Lansing or Benito Perez, depending on where he landed. I can promise you that he would not leave without saying something, and he would have gotten his paycheck. And it's not like him to not write or text or to call us, he wouldn't do that to Mama. He was a good son, always a good son. Ryan, I'm scared, scared that something has happened to my brother and I'm never going to find out what."
"I'll so what I can," he said, "I don't know what I can do but I'll see if there's any place to start. It may take time, though, the trail is kind of cold."
"I'll be grateful for anything you can do," she said softly, "This means more to me than you realize."
He took her in his arms and kissed her, and she did not resist. They lay on the rug in front of the fireplace and he removed her clothes, then his. His kisses started to stray from her lips, to her neck, then to her breasts. He was afraid of pushing her too far, but she did not fight him.
He lifted her up and lay her on the bed, not believing that she was letting him. He slipped inside her, then began moving, slowly at first then more quickly as she responded to him.
When they finished, they got under the covers then slept until the sun came in the window. He woke and looked at the clock, "Damn," he said, "We should have been up over an hour ago."
"Did I have you so distracted that you forgot to set the alarm?" she teased, "Well, too late now, we'll have to grab something and eat on the road. I'm sure you'll be forgiven this one slip, won't you?"
"Well," said Ryan, "Since we're already late, I guess it won't matter how late we are now." He pulled off the covers and noticed for the first time that her skin was a pale shade of gold. "I can't believe how beautiful you are," he told her, and he took her in his arms so he could make love to her again.
There was no time for breakfast so they got some breakfast croissants, orange juice, and coffee to eat on the way. There was not much conversation to interrupt their eating, but they had to talk, and knew it.
"Get rid of the scarf, sweetheart," he told her, "And you need to tell Rip who you are."
"No," she said, "I can tell the truth about my hair and about my ex-husband, but what if he recognizes my name? I don't know who I can trust to talk about my brother, I know now that I can trust you, but even though I've worked for them, I don't know if I can trust Rip or Mr. Dutton. I know this sounds strange, but I'm not like you, I haven't worked for the ranch for a long time. Until I learn what happened to my brother I prefer to remain Amy Perez. When I learn what happened to Benito I'll tell them who I really am."
"All right," said Ryan, ready to acquiesce to her for the moment. He didn't understand her reasoning, but for the moment he decided to humor her. It didn't really matter who she was, for now, she was doing a good job and Rip was happy with her work.
What he didn't know, for the moment, was how to handle what had happened between the two of them. The bunks were small, but more than one hand would bring in a girl who spent the night. Teeter and Kolby would make love, then sometimes Teeter would go back to her bunk, or maybe deal with cramped quarters and spend the night with him. Did Amy (Anicka?) care if anyone knew what happened or did she want to keep it a secret?
He decided not to ask, it seemed the safest option. During the drive she started opening up a little, singing along with the radio, talking to him, teasing him. He had a feeling that the bunk house would draw its own conclusion and that seemed safest.
When they got to the Yellowstone, they dumped off their bags and changed into their work clothes. Anicka went to the barn to start cleaning stalls only to find Rip doing it for her.
"Rip, why are you doing that?" she asked, "I know I'm a little late, but I always get my work done."
Rip leaned on the shovel and grinned. "Did you and Ryan have a good time last night?"
She started sputtering, non plussed, she honestly didn't know what to say. "Yes, we did," she said when she finally found her voice, "but how did you know?"
"Sweetheart, there's no secrets in the bunk house. It was plain to see that Ryan has had his eye on you for a while now. He's a good man, I don't want to see him get hurt, you owe him that much. I don't mind shoveling a little shit now and then, for a long time it was my job."
She stood for a minute, thinking, then she made up her mind. "Rip can I trust you? There is something I'd like to tell you, but I don't want anyone else to hear it, not until I'm ready." He nodded and she proceeded to tell him about her abusive spouse and how she had gone north to try to escape him. She showed him her blond roots and explained how she'd dyed her hair to try to disguise herself.
She didn't tell him about Benito, she was only willing to trust him so far. If it came to needing Rip's help, she would tell him then. She'd only worked on the ranch for a few months, and still didn't know how much it was safe to reveal.
Rip insisted on helping her—was he just being nice or was there a reason for it? She had decided she could trust Ryan, she didn't believe there was a motive behind his actions, and he made her feel a little safe. She needed that, keeping her secrets all to herself was a burden too heavy for her to carry. Telling Ryan had helped lighten it a bit.
If she'd thought that her tryst with Ryan would go unnoticed in the bunkhouse she discovered that she was wrong. The teasing was coming from everyone, Walker had wolf whistled and Teeter had teased. They were nice about it, but if she thought that no one had known or noticed she now knew better.
It turned out to not be so bad. If they didn't approve they wouldn't have teased her. Ryan seemed immune but the bunkhouse was his family. Now she was in a quandary, how was she to handle this? Being away overnight (although coming back late would have been just as obvious) had basically said that they were with each other. It was too late to walk it back, there was nowhere to go but forward.
She had decided it could be worse. She was with a nice man, not a man who had hidden his true nature long enough to convince her he was what she believed him to be. It was hard to let her guard down, but Ryan seemed to sense this. Maybe she was exactly where she was supposed to be.
It all seemed to be going well until he showed up again. She had hung her hat up on a nail because she got too hot. She was alone and it was unlikely that no one would notice. She had scraped out the last stall and was ready to dump its contents when she noticed a dark brown horse tied up in the aisle. It looked like it could be Rip's, but he'd never block aisle while she was working.
Maybe it was Mr. Dutton's, but his favorite horse was a chestnut that had a white streak down its nose. Maybe it was someone she didn't know, but strangers usually tied their horses up outside, no one allowed in the barn who didn't belong there.
Then she saw him, Kayce had removed his horse's saddle and was rubbing him down. She didn't want to talk to him, didn't want to explain the blond patch on the top of her head. There was no way around it, though, she had to speak because she had no choice.
"Excuse me," she said, and he turned around and smiled, "Can you please put your horse in one of the stalls? They're clean and your horse is in my way. I've got some shit to dump."
He smiled at her, he had a lovely smile. "Hey, girl," he said, "I see you're still shoveling shit." He walked over to her, staring at her hair, "Where did those blond roots come from? Why would you want to cover up your hair?"
Telling the truth seemed easier, he would hear it from someone eventually.
"I've been on the run from an ex-husband, I've been afraid of what he'd do to me if he found me. It's been a few months, maybe I'm safe now. Anyway, I don't want to keep dying it, so I'm just going to let it grow out. I hate people asking me about it, you know?"
"Well," said Kayce, "You're safe here anyway. There's not a man on this ranch who'd let anyone hurt you. That's not our way. I'll put my horse in a stall and if you need any help, just ask."
She watched as he unhitched his horse and put it in one of the now-clean stalls. His looks were just as heartbreaking as the first time she saw him. Ryan wasn't so tall as him and she liked his lean body, but there was something about Kayce that seemed reassuring. He was as tall as his father and if his build seemed stocky it was an illusion. Kayce was a strong man, someone you'd want to have on your side in a fight. And he was handsome and charming. Even his beard couldn't hide that engaging smile.
He's married, she told herself, and you're with a perfectly nice man who cares for you. And he's attractive too, just in a different way. Don't go losing your heart to someone you can't give it to.
Was Kayce flirting? She couldn't tell but he seemed sure of his looks and his charm. She'd known lots of men like that who flirted because it was in their nature. She was flirtatious, but she was doing her best to calm it down—unless she directed it at Ryan.
Please, she thought, let him not be serious. Flirting I can handle if it doesn't go any further than that. And besides, he's married, I've seen the ring, and he seems like a man who's contented with his life. And I'm happy with Ryan, or I guess I am.
But every time she looked at Kayce she remembered how she used to feel when she was in love, and that wasn't helping.