-Chapter 17-

Survival

The sleeper pod's alarm sounded out as the morning wore into Jared's body with incredible force. All of his muscles ached in dull pain as his head felt as if it were being split apart. He reached out his hand and palmed the darkened glass, attempting to pry himself away from the loud ringing that echoed throughout the pod. After a few seconds of fumbling around, the door gave way, the alarm ceased, and light poured into the small case. The bright LEDs burned Jared's eyes as he stepped out of the pod, trying to stabilize his legs. He stretched and felt the fibers of his muscles twist and contort, an obvious side effect of the encapsulated sleeping arrangement. His head pounded as he walked toward the kitchen and noticed that all of the others were still in their respective pods. The ship was quiet and lifeless, similar to how it was last night before the meals were served. However, the same hum from the core reverberated throughout the hull, something that Jared had already begun to block out.

The beverage machine he had used once before sputtered out dark coffee, filling the galley with its sharp aroma. Jared idly sipped away at the drink as he prepared food in the reverse order as last time: dinner for the second, and breakfast for the first. After a few hours, each crew had eaten, so had Jared, and he realized he had an abundance of free time on his hands.

He resigned himself against the kitchen island like always and began to think. Shepard was nowhere to be found, nor were any of the other recognizable crew members, though Dr. Chakwas did partake in breakfast as well.

I guess they all just eat on their own? Or maybe together? I'm not sure.

It bothered him a bit, it felt as if they were trying to avoid him. Not that he minded in Shepard's case though, Jared was trying his best to avoid him right now. All he wanted was to focus on his tasks and hopefully not catch his ire again.

It was all a bit different than he expected, not that he expected any of this, but it all struck a feeling deep within him. The crushing feeling of reality, he had thought it before, but it never felt as strong as it did now. Commander Shepard, a personal hero of Jared's, was now real and yet, he wanted nothing more than to avoid him.

"This, however, will be up to Jared as I would like to see if he has the courage to come to each of you individually."

He figured this wasn't a task worth failing.

Out of everything he could have done, CQC training felt right. His emotions had done nothing but control him for days, he needed an outlet–something that was real and physical . The door in front of Jared opened to the CIC as a blast of cool air hit his face. Various crew members shuffled about, attending to their duties, while others sat at their station waiting to receive orders. Navigator Pressley milled among them glancing at his data pad and listing the information printed on it. The crew hung on the end of each word and worked diligently at the same time.

Running a state of the art ship isn't a joke.

Jared wove in and out of the crowd, trying not to disrupt the operations, before reaching the cockpit. The door slid open as a cascade of fluorescent lights hit his eyes as the intermittent blinking of dozens of screens enveloped the room. Joker sat just in front of them actively swiping bits of data that appeared across them. They were just his duties, but to Jared, it looked like an art.

"Finally decided to pay me a visit huh?" Joker's chair spun around. "Worried if I'm going hungry?"

Jared was still caught within the moment before a quick snap from Joker brought his attention back.

"Listen, I'd love to sit here and hold your hand but I have something to do." He glanced back at the console with a feigned wince. "And it's kind of important. So you have something you need to say or can I get back to it?"

"U-uh no." Jared stammered. "I mean yes. Um, I was just wondering where Kaidan was?"

Joker tugged at his cap. "Alenko? I think he's in the cargo bay, guess he thought checking systems was boring."

"We don't have a concrete location?" Jared asked. "Udina and Anderson said they gave us leads."

Joker laughed. "You think with all the money the Alliance has, we would have one. But no, we just have Systems and Sectors to go off of. We've been charting for a whole day now and nothing, it's a lot of work for one Asari Scientist."

Asari Scientist?

A moment of awkward silence passed before Joker glanced back once more: "Sooo, if that's all, I'm going to get back to this."

The sleek chair whirled around as Jared stood and observed Joker for a moment longer before getting a dismissive hand wave from the pilot.

As Jared began to walk away, Joker leaned back and called out: "Nice to meet you chef." A smirk grew across his face as he made his way toward the cargo bay.

The bay itself was sparsely populated, a few crew members idled near the Mako, performing routine checks while cracking jokes between each other, One mentioned a "Krogan Battlemaster" while the other responded with an: "Asari Matriarch" and described various compromising positions. Jared shook it off and scanned around for Kaidan, who wasn't too far off. He stood to the right of the elevator, talking with a shorter man in a cap, the conversation didn't seem to be the most friendly. As Jared walked over, he began to pick up bits and pieces.

"So you're saying we have to buy our own equipment?" Kaidan gestured to the stocked table behind the short man.

"Well, you could let the Commander handle it for you…" The man trailed off, attempting to gauge Kaidan's expression. "

"I could. Or I could do it myself and make sure I'm prepared for our mission and make sure the Commander isn't bogged down with the details of what gun I'm bringing. " Kaidan's arms tightened.

The man squirmed awkwardly, looking for a way out of the tense interaction. That's when Jared decided to do a kind act for the shrewd man.

"Kaidan Alenko?"Jared voiced. "I was to report to you for CQC training."

Kaidan turned around as the man behind him wiped sweat from his brow and stepped toward the engineering area.

He shrugged. "I'll finish with him later." Kaidan smiled and held out his hand to Jared. "Jared, right? We saw each other before but I still owe you a proper greeting."

Jared smiled back and grabbed his hand firmly. "Likewise, it's nice to meet you Kaidan."

After a quick shake, they both relaxed, Jared felt actually comfortable for once.

"So," Kaidan spoke, reaching for his shirt "I'm supposed to teach you something about CQC right?"

He removed his shirt in one swift motion revealing a lean body, bulging with muscle.

So much for being comfortable.

Jared looked away quickly. "Ye-yea-yeah. I figured it was time to know, you know?"

Kaidan began stretching his arms as he walked toward the center of the cargo bay. "Perfect, a workout would be great right now."

Jared reluctantly followed as they stood in the middle of the bay, a few feet between each of them.

Kaidan looked at him puzzlingly. "A jumpsuit for sparring? Make sure you don't overheat."

He began to put his fists up before relaxing again. "Have you ever done this before?"

"Not really, I think I've hit a punching bag a few times." Jared feigned a quizzical look. "At least I feel like I have."

Kaidan crossed his arms. "Wow, we're really starting from square one huh?" He put one of his fists out and gave a quick thrust. "Why don't you show me a jab? Like that?"

Jared adopted Kaidan's stance before sluggishly jabbing his fist forward.

Kaidn nodded. "Not bad, try planting your feet and swinging with your hip." He once again threw a jab. "Like that."

Jared attempted the same with much more success. He felt the cold air of the cargo bay bend around his hand.

Kaidan began to beam. "Nice job! Okay, let's try a hook now."

After several minutes of back and forth, Jared began to feel fatigue in his arms, his punches became sloppy and uncontrollable.

"Alright, that should be good for now." Kaidan gave him an understanding look. "Let's take five and we/ll try some light sparring."

Jared exasperatedly nodded, trying to catch his breath. He straightened up and looked at Kaidan. "I'm used to certain physical activity…but this is exhausting,"

Kaidan gave a slight chuckle. "Yeah, it takes a lot out of you at first, but it's important."

His face grew slightly solemn. "Imagine you're behind an enemy nest and the guy across from you knocks your weapon free from your hands. You have to fight back in any way you can."

"Punches are the basics. We'll have to learn kicks, grapples, improvised weapons…" He trailed off. "Quite frankly, it's a lot, and not all of it is strength, it's more about survival ."

Jared's ears perked up. "You think I'll be allowed out in the field?"
Kaidan shrugged. "I'm not one to question the reason behind orders, but why else would Shepard have us teaching you?"

Jared began to feel the strength in his arms return. The thought of combat used to terrify him, but, with Kaidan's words and Shepard's earlier talk drilled into him, there was now something else. This wasn't just a lesson– this was a test. Not just of his body, but of whether he belonged here or not.

He rose back up from his knees. "I'm ready to spar whenever you are."

A grin crossed Kaidan's face. "Alright, glad to hear it."

They stood across from each other, each adopting similar poses. Kaidan looked Jared up and down and gave a look of pride. "We'll go easy alright? Throw a couple punches, block some, dodge others. Nothing too intense."

Jared nodded quickly as he brought his fists up to his chest. The air in the bay grew thick with tension as the two eyed each other. The muscles in Jared's body began to tighten, the hair on his neck standing on end. Slowly, they began to step around each other deliberately, creating something of a sparring circle in the middle of the cargo bay. The thick air was cut by Kaidan's fist as it almost found purchase on Jared's side if not for a careful last minute dodge. He had never managed something like that before and he wasn't very aware of it, as if done on pure instinct alone. Kaidan backed away and continued the circle–before Jared pushed through with his right fist toward his chest. Kaidan deftly pushed it away as his knuckles dug into Jared's left arm. As the pain spread throughout his arm, a fire began to well within him as he felt a great rage burn behind his eyes. His vision became blurred as he lashed out with his fists, trying to land one anywhere he could on his opponent. Kaidan's eyes narrowed with intensity as he blocked Jared's first punch, grabbed his second and used the momentum to toss him on his back.

Kaidan stood over him and flashed a smile before holding his hand out. "That was something there at the end. What was that?"
Jared remained on the floor for several more seconds, rapidly breathing with his fists curled tight. Finally, the moment subsided and he took Kaidan's hand. As he stood, he took several steps back from the man who just bested him. He cleared his mind and slowed his breathing; his fists relaxed as the rage left his body.

"Sorry." Jared uttered quickly. "I guess I should have said something."

Kaidan wiped sweat from his brow. "Said something about what?"
"I-" He searched for the words within his head. "I've always had trouble with that. Whenever I get physically hurt by anything; whether it be a person or not…"

He trailed off as he felt the welt on his arm. "I can't help but see red and just lash out at anything in front of me."

The smile left Kaidan's face. "Anger issues huh? That's unfortunate."

He placed a hand on Jared's shoulder. "But not something that you can't use."

Kaidan motioned him back toward the center of the room and Jared obeyed. He stood across from Jared once more and drew his fists toward his bare chest.

"Alright, we're not going to full on spar or anything, but I am going to hit you." Kaidan tensed his muscles. "And what I want you to do is channel the rage you feel from that into your arm. Let it flow from the rest of your body right into one, good, solid punch. Okay?"
Jared resumed his early pose and nodded, he braced himself for the worst.

Kaidan returned the nod before letting a jab loose into Jared's right arm, mimicking the same attack from earlier. Once more, a fire spread through Jared's body as the rage coursed through him and his gaze settled on Kaidan, who took a defensive stance. As he raised the same arm for a hook, he felt the anger fly to his fist and it propelled the following punch with an unprecedented amount of force into the center of Kaidan's block. He felt Kaidan move an inch before he dug his heels into the ground and forced Jared back.

"See?!" Kaidan exclaimed. "That was much better!"

Jared stood across from him, his breath still filled with intensity. His eyes stared intently at Kaidan before the rage subsided from his body.

This feels off, it wasn't this bad before.

Kaidan watched him cautiously as his body slowly relaxed. "You had a lot more control and force." He rubbed his arm. "You got a solid hit on me."
Jared blushed slightly. "Thanks, I just wish I didn't have to almost lose control to get there."

Kaidan knelt over and picked his shirt off the floor. "It'll get easier the more we spar." He deftly put it on. "Unless, this was your one and only time?"
"Definitely not." Jared stuck his hand out. "Thanks for the training."

Kaidan gave him a firm shake, the familiar smile spread on his face. "No problem, I appreciate the workout."

As if on cue, the intercom rang out through the cargo bay accompanied by Shepard's voice.

"Attention, I will need the ground squad to report to the Comm Room ASAP. Over and out."

Kaidan glanced at Jared. "Looks like we finally found our first target."