"...That's not the dishwashing soap, that's the hand soap you're using."
Saitama remarked as he stood next to Haruka who was in the middle of doing the dishes.
"Yeah? This one can do the trick too, can't it?" Haruka retorted.
"You're not wrong, but hand soap cannot deal with sticky grease as good as a dishwasher. You're making things harder for yourself at this point."
Saitama finally decided to step in, taking the dirty plates and sponge from Haruka's hands and took over the dishwashing, while Haruka watched with a pouty face before she decided to leave him not long after.
However, before she could have walked away from the kitchen, Saitama called to her, "Hey, where do you think you're going?"
"Err, leaving?" Haruka replied as if it was obvious.
"You are still on a clock. Go dry those dishes and put them back in the cupboard if you can't wash them."
In return, Haruka merely grumbled before she grabbed a hand towel nearby and began wiping at the wet plates.
Meanwhile, in the living room…
"My, my, what a fine dog he is," the butler chuckled in the living room.
He and the maid were playing with the resident dog on the mat, the resident dog nuzzling against the maid's cheek as the two caressed its black fur.
Genos was working on his laptop on the desk while Black was hiding inside the wardrobe - watching the unfolding scene with a mild amusement.
"Oh my, I feel ten years younger already. Where did you find this fine hound?" The maid smiled as she rubbed the dog's cheeks, Rover panting at the attention from the kind elders.
"It's a long story." Saitama shrugged, having finally joined the group while Haruka still had one more pile of dishes she had to work on. "So… care to tell me about… Haruka?" Saitama pointed his thumb at the girl. "What's her deal?"
In the end, Saitama decided to 'hire' Haruka as his 'housemaid' of sorts to appease the elders, giving her some kind of small income at least from both his and Genos' pocket.
"Lady Haru's…. Past is rather complicated. It is not my story to tell." the butler replied with an apologetic look, which the maid also shared.
"Really? Because she trespassed into my home and acted like she now lives here like it's nothing." Saitama retorted, throwing a quick glance at Haruka's back in the kitchen.
"I apologize on her behalf, but I'm afraid you should hear the story from Lady Haru's lips." the butler stood his ground.
"Are her folks still around?" Saitama asked.
"They are, and currently residing in Kyoto."
The butler's reply, caused Genos to pause in his work for a split second, before continuing while replying, "Kyoto is quite far from here. Why didn't she move somewhere nearer?"
"It's been decided by the family-head for Lady Haru to gain more experience the further she is from home." the butler replied.
"...Is she rich or something?" Saitama noticed a theme behind Haruka in this conversation.
"We live well enough." the butler replied cryptically.
The maid was happily giving Rover belly rubs, the dog on his back, huffing in satisfaction with his tail wagging.
That moment, Haruka had finished her chores and finally joined the living room, "I'm done." she said before plopping down on the spot next to Saitama.
"Oh, neat. Now go swipe and mop the place." Saitama ordered.
Haruka slowly turned to the baldy. Saitama did not react to her scalding glaring frown. A few seconds later, Haruka's eyes turned to the floor and she ran her finger on the surface.
"...The floor's clean, all good." Haruka remarked.
Saitama and Genos were not amused at Haruka's excuse for not doing the chore she was told to do, but they chose not to argue back, considering the company.
"Prepare Rover's food then." Saitama gestured to the happy dog receiving loving attention.
Haruka then clicked her tongue, unable to find any excuse to avoid the job. In the end, she returned to the kitchen and opened the cupboards for the dog's food.
However, everyone then heard someone pressing the doorbell outside.
"...Say, Genos. Are we waiting for someone else?" Saitama pondered.
"There are no scheduled appointments or mail expected today." Genos replied.
Saitama noticed a shift in the air. Rover also perked up, sniffing at the air before growling at the direction of the front door.
It came like a subtle breeze replacing the atmosphere with something else, a difficult feeling to express in words other than a sensation of isolation from the rest of the world, like hiding in an imaginary closet in one's mind.
It felt similar during that night in the museum in his late shifts.
"Detecting abnormal energy signatures," Genos notified as his cybernetic eyes blipped. "I sense an unknown energy field encompassing this building."
"...What the fuck are you even talking about?" Haruka asked the cyborg from her position in the kitchen, her hands holding a bag of dog food.
Then, the doorbell rang again.
Genos' eyes stared at the door, X-Ray vision peering at the two individuals behind the door.
"...Sensei."
"I'll get it." On Genos' cue, Saitama rose from the couch and walked towards the door.
"...Yeah?" Saitama greeted as he poked his head through the door's opening.
A tall, muscular, blue-skinned thing with horns on his head, fangs that were sticking out from his mouth and eyes filled with restrained bloodlust.
Another one was practically a skeleton whose build was a head taller than the blue one, with glowing blue orbs in its eye-sockets.
And for some reason, both of them were clad in black and white formal suits.
Saitama and the strangers stared at each other as the tension in the atmosphere escalated. On that note, the former felt a sense of deja vu - feeling that he had been in a similar situation before.
"...I don't want whatever it is you're selling."
Then, as if the tension was a lie, Saitama slammed the door closed on them.
Then the door broke down, the blue-skinned muscular creature sauntered through the door and towered over the smaller baldy.
Haruka and the elders gasped at the intrusion, silent from shock at the sight of the inhuman creature that entered the apartment.
"This Great Oni stands before you and you dare close the door on him?!" the giant bellowed, the revealed oni sneering at the impassively bored-looking baldy.
"What the fuck is that thing!?"
From their hiding spot - Haruka asked in confusion and mortification, the butler and the maid were also frozen in shock at the sight.
"For that, I shall take you with me as my meal along with the wench. Be honored to be chosen by your superiors."
The Oni skipped the need for conversation, temper steering it to throw his massive fist, the blue knuckle pressing against the baldy's cheek.
BOOM!
The entire room was suddenly covered in a shockwave and dust cloud, prompting Haruka and the guests to take cover behind the kitchen top, keeping themselves on the ground.
The Gashadokuro in a suit covered his skull from the blowing dust.
"Ugh, this idiot…" He was the Oni's partner and manager in their clean-up duties.
He cursed under his breath that he had to clean the crime scene of human remains, again. Because of his partner's fragile temperament. They did not bring the underlings this time because it was a sudden request from the middle man to wipe out a school girl that conned him of his wallet.
However, as the dust began to settle, the skeleton's view became clearer, and the sight that greeted him shocked him to his very bones.
There was a lower torso standing on its feet, the spine jutting from the cross section of crimson gore and meat like a perverse meat totem.
"...Eh?"
"Pay for my door."
The human was intact, fist outstretched, looking irritated.
Then… the one that lost his upper half…
The skeleton stared at the lower half, seeing the muscular calves and pieces of blue skin scattered to the ceiling…
Something fell on his skull.
He caught it by reflex, the head of his partner, the bone of his neck sticking as its lifeless eyes gazed back at him.
At that moment, the Gashadokuro immediately decided that he had to retreat. However, before he could have made his run, something took a bite at his leg. He grunted, and looked down to see a black dog gnawing at his shin.
"What the-!? Get off me, you damn mutt!" The large skeleton swung his leg around in order to shake Rover off. The mutt in question did not relent as he kept his jaws clamped on the bone.
The skeleton cried out when he fell as the dog, with a shocking display of strength, dragged the skeleton inside the room.
Haruka and the elders watched the skeleton trying to crawl out, sometimes kicking the dog's face, but the dog was unfazed by the resistance.
Genos and Saitama passively watched Rover snap the skeleton's leg off.
"AGGGGGH!" The skeleton cried in pain as the dog gnawed on its leg bone for a while.
Then Rover waddled towards the rest and chomped on its other leg.
"Stop, stop! I surrender! Get this thing off me!" The skeleton wailed much to the surprise of Haruka, the sight of seeing a supernatural skeleton keeling before a dog.
"...Down, boy." Saitama finally interfered as he placed his hand on top of Rover's head, prompting the latter to calm down and withdraw, not without a prize - the Gashadokuro's thigh bone for him to munch on at the corner.
The kind maid and butler stared at the scene. They were too stunned by the surreality to comment on the absurd happenings before them.
"...What… did you… do to that thing?" Haruka asked, trying her best to collect herself enough to process the sight of the standing, gored lower half of the Oni.
"I punched it."
"...You… punched it?" Haruka repeated.
"Yep." Saitama turned his attention to the skeleton.
The skeleton nervously looked around, seeing that there was nothing that it could do to escape.
They were already isolated by the bounded field talismans, meaning that no civilians would stumble here and give him a chance to escape.
"So, what's the deal with you guys?" Saitama asked as he crouched before the Skeleton guy.
"We…" The youkai gave a sigh of defeat, "I'm a member of the Great Ashigara Cult - an organization that heralded long since the Heian era, pursuing to restore our golden age by reviving-"
"No, no. Stop." Saitama then abruptly interrupted the youkai's answer, "I don't have all day. Our house is ruined, and we need to report to our insurance company before they can cook up any excuses to delay our stipend. We have calls to make. I ask again, what the hell do you guys want here?"
"We are busy people." Genos followed up, "Give us a concise answer in 20 words or less."
The skeleton stared at the handsome-faced man for a moment.
"...We are sent by our leader to capture the human girl." The skeleton pointed at Haruka.
Haruka blinked before pointing at herself, "M-me?"
"Her?" Saitama pointed his thumb at Haruka, "Why'd your leader want her?"
"It's not what he wants, but what the human wants. The human wants her to be eaten in our ritual," the youkai replied.
Saitama and Genos exchanged looks before they glanced at Haruka, who was confounded.
"...Excuse me? Say that again, because I am not sure if I heard you correctly." Haruka asked.
"You screwed one of our human workers, and he somehow got the ear of our management to hunt you down. I don't know how he did it, but here we are. You're scheduled to be processed into tribute in our… Temple."
Saitama raised an eyebrow at her, while Genos was giving her a deadpanned look.
In return, Haruka retorted, "You guys don't seriously justify that kind of reasoning, right?"
With a sigh, Saitama held up his hand, "We'll talk later. Now what to do with you." he returned to the skeleton youkai.
"If we let him go, he's likely to return with reinforcements." Genos remarked as he pointed his palm at the youkai's head, the repulsor began to glow with energy of pure heat. "I say we finish him off here."
"What? No! Please, spare my life! I don't want to die!" The skeleton waved his bony hands in a panic.
"...But you're already dead, though?" Saitama pointed out.
"I'm made from the skulls of humans that perished in wars and famines, not some reanimated skeleton! I'm a youkai! There's a difference!" The Skeleton argued more, "Come on, man! Just let me go - you think I'm gonna come back with more men?! My boss is gonna kill me if I return empty-handed! And I'm down a leg because of that stupid dog! You guys won't have to deal with me anymore!"
"Right…" Saitama nodded dumbly before retorting, "But you owe us for the door and the front walls… well, it looks like you're not going to pay for it, so…."
"No! Wait, wait! Do you want information?! I-I may be a grunt, but I can get you started on where to look!" The youkai bargained.
"...Oh, right. I almost forgot. Say, I'm looking to deal with a… something ring that deals with selling humans as food. Do you know anything about it?"
"Er, well, that is… well, we are working with them. I mean another branch deals with human trafficking." The youkai explained.
"Tell me everything this instant if you wish to not end up in Yomi." Genos warned.
"Erk, fine! I don't know about our main base, but if you want leads, look for the butcher shops! I don't know which ones, but you might find a lead if you know what you're looking for, especially rendered humans! If you want more, here! Take my phone! Take my partner's phone, I'm sure he still has it in his pockets!" The skeleton pointed at the still-standing lower torso while his other hand handed Genos his phone.
The cyborg fiddled with the gadget and found that the phone was not encrypted with any security password. Nodded in satisfaction, he turned back to the youkai, "Begone, before we change our minds."
The skeleton quickly scurried away with his remaining limbs, hopping one-legged towards what remained of the front entrance.
"Hey." Saitama called out. "My door."
"...Ugggh... My partner broke the door… he should still have his wallet on him." the Gashadokuro remarked as he hopped to the Oni's leg pants, looking through his remains, "...Here! Take it!"
The youkai tossed the wallet to Saitama, who caught it and proceeded to look inside, "...Huh, he's surprisingly loaded." he remarked at the amount of cash inside.
The skeleton hopped out of the apartment, grumbling curses until he was no longer in sight.
Saitama and Genos then turned to their guests - the kind maid and butler stared at the surreal scene.
"...Lady Haruka… what kind of horrible karma have you tampered with?" The butler somehow got the words to retort.
Haruka looked away. It was not like she wanted to be hunted down as a sacrifice to some cannibal cult.
OxO
Meanwhile - out of the suburbs, the Gashadokuro was recomposing himself in the middle of a secluded alley.
"By Izanami…. What the hell was that all about?" the youkai could not help but wonder to himself, recounting the transpired events.
His Oni colleague was not exactly the strongest around, but no mere mortal could have just obliterated an Oni's body with a single punch.
"What the fuck are those two? Are they really humans?" the Gashadokuro cursed. However, his non-existent lips twitched into a grin, "...But I'm still alive."
He was not lying about getting killed by his boss should he return empty-handed, but if he could plead his case about finding the target and several more potentially high-quality sacrifices, there was a chance for him to survive this ordeal.
He might be able to get a little revenge on those two… maybe… Honestly, he should investigate those two.
His thoughts were interrupted when the sound of a can clattered behind him.
He looked, seeing an open trash metal can rolling in the light.
The silence that followed was deafening. The skeleton felt an invisible pressure of something's gaze bearing down on him.
The skeleton saw something entering the alleyway.
"...No… no no no no no."
It was comical for a being of myth to feel terror in a modern setting, especially at the sight of the thing that took one of its legs.
The blasted dog followed him and was looking at him with its six eyes… Wait, what the hell was that thing? Normal dogs have two eyes.
"S-Stay back! I'm warning you!"
Behind the skeleton, the broken lights flickered on and off, intermittently revealing a smiling black imp with a white face.
The dog watched as his friend's shape expanded, revealing only in the flickering light frame by frame, from a small teletubby to a growing, eldritch amorphous horror with white faces encroaching on the skeleton from behind, many, many outstretched hands reaching out towards the unsuspecting youkai.
"…D-Damn it!" It turned around.
Only to see a horror beyond description, many hands grabbing his bones while the giant white face smiled gleefully at him.
"W-w-what the fuck are you!? Let me go!" The skeleton cried while futilely struggling to free himself.
The white face of the amorphous black horror widened its smile, teeth so wide as the skeleton watched in horror.
"Hi~"
It opened its mouth.
The skeleton's screams went unheard that night because of the bounded field talismans it set up around the district.
"...And that's pretty much what happened."
In the same family restaurant where they last talked, Masaomi Yaegaki and Touji Shidou stared at the trio of Saitama, Haruka and Genos sitting across them; the latter had finished re-telling their encounter with the youkai invading their home.
Touji pinched the bridge of his nose and inhaled.
"...Saitama, please - In the name of God, may we know what happened here in more… conventional manners?" Touji requested.
In short, explain what happened that did not involve such a lengthy, overdetailed explanation of the incident spoken at fast-forward like Genos did prior.
"...Two monsters broke through my door, I killed one, while the other left after paying for my door."
"Thank you." Touji nodded to Saitama while resisting the urge to throw a stink-eye at Genos, who looked unperturbed whatsoever, "Right, and this other one - are you sure he will not come back for revenge?"
Saitama rolled his eyes a bit before replying, "...I think he got the message. Rather, are you sure it's okay for us to use your people to fix my house? We got the money ourselves and everything."
Touji smiled while holding his hand up, "Consider that a gesture of good will from our part; you did inform us of an important development, after all. But back to the case - so the stray devils are in league with youkai, and they are targeting…. Ms. Haruka here?"
"The bone man said that she screwed someone working for their boss over, and that someone got the boss to send men after her." Saitama pointed a thumb at the schoolgirl.
"I see…" Touji then turned to the girl in question, "How are you faring, Ms. Haruka?"
"Oh, I don't know - I learned a bunch of monsters going after my life, even saying something about sacrificing me in some fucked-up ritual. How do you think I feel?" Haruka replied with dripping sarcasm.
"...I found it impressive to encounter someone with such terrible misfortune." Masaomi could not help but comment. "Especially for a civilian teenager."
"Yeah, fuck my life, truly." Haruka snidely returned before she downed her now lukewarm coffee.
"...I assume that you will be looking after her, at least until this whole matter is settled?" Masaomi then turned to the two other men.
"Apparently." Saitama replied with a shrug.
The elders would be devastated if he did not, he could nott handle their pleading gazes.
"If I may." Touji then interjected, "Ms. Haruka, would you like to come with us? We can provide you shelter until the situation is settled."
Haruka skewed her lips as her eyes scanned their church attire as she compared them to the baldy and his handsome friend…
"...Can you destroy an oni's upper half with a single punch?" Haruka asked.
Touji and Masaomi blinked at the question before the former replied, "Um… No?"
Masaomi understood where the question came from when he remembered the mosquito youkai.
"Then I'd like to stay with someone strong enough to do that." Haruka then gave her answer.
"Um, I don't know. They seem to be professionals for something like this," Saitama suggested, "Their place is probably better than ours, plus - you probably won't have Black breathing on your neck anymore."
Haruka actually considered the idea as she rolled her eyes in contemplation. She looked between Touji, Masaomi and Saitama, weighing her options. Eventually, she decided on her choice by hugging Saitama's arm.
"I've already chosen him as my bodyguard. So even if I were to move in with you guys, he's coming with me." Haruka said as she pressed herself against Saitama's side.
The two saw Saitama's annoyed frown. His attempt to ditch her to the priests failed.
"I find this illogical." Genos interjected, staring at Haruka. "Touji and Masaomi are part of a more established organization, woman. They are organized and possess more experience in this field."
"And they're probably potential pedophiles in disguise. I know a girl that got involved with a priest and she found out some unsavory stuff about him."
Touji and Masaomi gave an affronted look at Haruka's reply - the girl earned a light elbow-jab on her side, courtesy of Saitama, who mouthed 'sorry' at his recent benefactors.
"Anyway - I'm staying with him or he's staying with me, whichever works." Haruka finalized by hugging Saitama's arm.
"Do I get a say in this?" Saitama quipped.
"Hmmm, it is either that or I'll spread terrible gossip about a mean, dog-abusing baldy and his boy toy."
Haruka replied with a cheshire grin.
"...I suddenly got an inkling why your family kicked you out all the way here." Saitama replied with a stink-eye, which Haruka returned by cheekily sticking her tongue out.
Genos looked stoic as ever, yet he opted not to say anything more.
"In that case, I believe we've reached an agreement." Touji decided to adjourn their meeting, "It is clear where Ms. Haruka is the safest at, and we have the utmost faith that you will care for her, Saitama."
"Yeah, sure." Saitama pouted.
"Still, in case of an emergency, you can call us anytime." Masaomi offered, which Saitama returned with a nod.
OxO
After the talk with the exorcist, the day was spent with Saitama, Genos and Haruka settling their affairs in order.
Claiming insurance, shopping for furniture that were destroyed during the attack, and grabbing a dinner at the local burger joint - the group finally arrived at the hotel where they would stay until their house-repair was completed. On that note, Black and Rover had been smuggled in advance and would stay low in Genos' room.
On another related note, while Genos would room with their resident 'pets', Saitama and Haruka ended up sharing a room; where the baldy - clad in simple white tee and sweat shorts, was lying on top of the bed while Haruka took her first turn in the shower.
Yes, the bed - as if to make things even more awkward, instead of twin beds, they were also sharing a king-sized bed. Haruka was not amused, but otherwise she did not complain much before she got her first dibs on the shower.
"Phew… What did I get myself into…?" Saitama mused as he stared at the ceiling from his spot on the bed.
When he first landed in this foreign world with his friends, Saitama expected they would simply do what they usually do - work their ways around as heroes until they found their way back home. Meeting new people was unavoidable - in fact, Saitama was grateful for his encounter with Touji and Masaomi, and he would like to think of them as friends.
Then Haruka came in.
Sometimes Saitama would look back to their first encounter and wondered if he should have been more forceful to push her away, but for some reasons he could not fathom, the girl ended up as a part of his new daily life.
What am I supposed to do with her again?
Eventually, Saitama decided to cease his musings and sat up, planning to browse through the TV channels. Just when he turned the television on, however, the bathroom door clicked open. Saitama then was greeted by the sight of Haruka fresh out of the shower with a single towel wrapped around her torso - the hems were just below her armpits and collarbone, reaching down barely enough to cover her hips and nether region.
"Ah, that hits the spot." Haruka remarked as she combed through her slightly-damped brown locks with her fingers.
Saitama found himself not knowing what he was supposed to say or do; he honestly expected the girl to come out with more clothes on her person.
Noticing Saitama's eyes on her, Haruka's lips twitched into a sly smirk. "...See something you like?"
"...Like what?"
The baldy's face screamed 'uninterested' at Haruka's figure. Much to the girl's mild shock as it destroyed her streak of successful seductions against the opposite sex.
"Well… What else?" Haruka swayed her hips, attempting to shift the flow of conversation back to her favor.
His face remained impassive as always, the face of perpetual boredom he always wore.
Haruka then narrowed her eyes, "You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask… Are you gay?"
Saitama's face went bemused, "...What?"
"You heard me. The only guys I know that aren't interested in me are gay dudes."
"I'm not into dudes." Saitama's face went bland.
"Oh, really? You're sharing a room with a cute girl who is fresh out of shower with a single towel on her person - if there's actually even a semblance of interest in that face of yours, I fear for any gal who actually caught your fancy." Haruka retorted.
"You're practically a kid to me, okay?" Saitama argued.
"I'm eighteen, you prick! Hell, I dare say I am mentally twenty one!"
Saitama retorted, "...That's not a thing."
"Like hell it's not! Man-child is a thing, why not the other way around!?"
"Not after what I've seen since you trespassed into my home." Saitama scoffed with a wry smirk.
"Fuck you! I have monsters going after my life!"
"How do you think that happened in the first place?" Saitama shot back.
Haruka gave Saitama a narrowed glare until she scoffed in defeat, "...Tch, I can't believe I thought to play ball with you."
Saitama's eyes widened when Haruka just unraveled her towel, revealing her bare form for him to see as she walked towards her bag on the nearby desk, where she stored her clothes.
"Whoa!? Change in the bathroom or something, this isn't your room!"
Haruka turned to see Saitama getting flustered, his eyes darting around, garnering her amusement in the process.
"...Huh, what do you know - maybe you don't swing for the other team, after all." Haruka smirked as she turned around and placed her hands on her hips, not bothering to cover her front.
"Damn it, woman! Where's your shame!?" Saitama looked away, even holding his hand up to shield himself, but Haruka noticed that his eyes were never covered or closed.
The young woman giggled, "What the hell, you're like, what - mid to late twenties? Why are you acting like you're twelve? First time seeing a live, nude woman?"
Saitama bit his lips, not sure what to answer - truth to be told, he had a fair share of running across heroines with skimpy outfits like swimsuits and hero costumes that showed more skin than necessary. In fact, he would be lying if he were to claim that he did not find Fubuki attractive when they first met, but her snobbish and holier-than-thou attitude when she tried to recruit him, combined with her initial views on heroism…
When Haruka took note of Saitama's silence, her face lit up like a christmas tree as she arrived at a conclusion, "...My god, you are a virgin!"
"I swear I will throw you out into the trash bin." Saitama warned as he bashfully looked away.
Surprisingly enough, Haruka relented as she held her hands up, albeit still giggling, "Alright, alright, I'll leave you be… For now." She then returned to rummage her belongings again, but she turned to address Saitama again, "Still, since we are here and all, do you want me to pop your cherry? Take it as the down-payment for your bodyguarding job."
"Shut up, I'm taking the shower." Saitama decided not to engage in any more talk as he stood up from bed.
When Haruka watched Saitama discarding his t-shirt, her sly smile dropped as her gaze locked on the sight of his frame.
Haruka swallowed a lump - she did have a brief feel on his body when he manhandled her back in the museum; while he did not look like it with the clothes on, the man was ripped. Not overly muscular, but his muscles were very well-defined. She swore she could grind steel on those abs.
Not even many of her past 'clients' had muscles like that.
He closed the door behind him, and only by then Haruka released the breath she had been unconsciously holding. She quickly grabbed a nearby bottle of water and downed its content to quench the sudden thirst she was having. She then put on a simple black tee and pair of panties and shorts, before she plopped on the bed and browsed through TV channels, attempting to get rid the image of Saitama's muscular frame off her mind.
As for Saitama, he regretted not pushing Haruka onto the priests even more.
This girl was becoming more troublesome than he thought as he turned on the showerhead, the cold water trickling on his skin.
How did it end up to this point? Saitama had no idea… he sighed.
"I want to go home…"
He hoped Genos, Masaomi and Touji made progress on their respective ends.
In the living quarters of St. Adonai church, Masaomi waited in the living room for Touji to finish his call with the headquarters in the Vatican.
While waiting, Masaomi's mind wandered towards what he had learned so far, wondering if he could remember any valuable hints for the current case. It was a shame that their order was not well-versed in the technology department as the Vatican were… rigid traditionalists by nature.
Regardless - Masaomi's eyebrows furrowed slightly as he recounted the intel he had learned; the Cult of Ashigara, youkai being hired to capture a human woman to be sacrificed in some pagan ritual, and possibilities of civilians getting involved…
Masaomi's muse was interrupted when Touji walked into the room.
"How was the call, Father Shidou?" Masaomi stood up to greet his superior.
Touji sighed, "The Heavens are pleased with our progress. Although their attention rests upon our new collaborators. They are requesting us to induct them into the service of God."
Masaomi tilted his head, "I suppose it's only a matter of time until the higher-ups want to recruit those bunch. But what about…. Their unusual companion?"
"Yes… their dog…" Touji muttered, "I managed to conceal its existence somehow… But for now, the Seraphs would like to know if our new comrades are Sacred Gear possessors."
"Sacred Gears… I see." Masaomi nodded, "I did feel Saitama and Genos gave off foreign auras, albeit I don't think they're from Sacred Gears - regardless, now that we have our orders, we might as well confirm our suspicions. Anything else?"
"Lady Gabriel will remain in touch with the youkais in Kyoto, in order to learn more about this Cult of Ashigara. In the meantime, we will continue our mission as usual."
"Shall we contact Saitama and Genos, then? I think we can meet at the previous eatery."
Touji nodded at Masaomi's suggestion, "Perhaps on another day - let those men settle their current affairs before we add another burden upon them. Despite that success favors them over us."
When Touji and Masaomi left the church to return to their homes, while still in the middle of the small forest at the edge of the town - their training stopped their trek upon sensing evil amidst a malevolent intent.
Masaomi and Touji reached for their light pistols and light swords on reflex as they saw mist slowly washing into the forest, dying the woods in a pale obscurity.
"Brace yourself, Masaomi." Touji narrowed his eyes at the shadow emerging from the mist before him.
Exiting the obscurity, a figure in a ragged gray coat revealed itself, long black hair that covered over half of her face, a surgical mask covering her mouth.
"...The Slit-Mouthed Woman?" Touji uttered.
"The local legend?" Masaomi knew about the Kuchisake No Onna. "But that's just a legend! That is…"
"Masaomi." Touji interrupted, "We've encountered several beings that were supposed to be 'just a legend', is it so surprising to encounter another youkai like this one?"
The exorcist actually looked a tad flustered at the retort, "...But this is more like an urban legend. Not like-"
Their small banter was interrupted when the woman before them brandished a large gardening shears - each hand of hers holding the handle, followed with a question in an eerie tone.
"Am I pretty…? Am I pretty?" the female youkai asked while tilting her head, her blood-shot eyes could be seen through her black hair.
Touji and Masaomi exchanged glances - they knew this part; things would not end well for them whether they replied with a 'yes' or 'no'... If they were normal civilians. They were trained warriors and something like Slitted-Mouth Woman was another Tuesday for them.
Sporting a confident smirk, Touji replied, "Well… I suppose you are, though not as pretty as my wife, of course."
The Slitted-Mouth tilted her head the other way, as if she was processing Touji's reply.
"...So you think I am pretty?" The woman then asked again, causing Touji and Masaomi to prepare to move at any given moment.
"Masaomi, I'll take the left." Touji moved first, his light pistol aimed at the urban legend's head and his finger twitched on the trigger.
However, before he could have pulled the trigger, the Slitted-Mouth Woman suddenly opened and snapped her shears close.
SNAP!
At that moment, the pistol in his hand was suddenly cleaved into half, shocking Touji into dropping his now-useless firearm.
"What the-!?"
"AM I PRETTY?!" The apparition shrieked the same question again, snapping her shears once more.
Touji raised his light sword on instinct, preparing himself to defend against whatever came his way. Fortunately, he did not have to defend since Masaomi tackled him to the ground, evading another invisible attack that cut several trees behind them.
"Are you alright, Father Shidou?" Masaomi asked as he and Touji returned to their feet, witnessing the collapsed forest behind them.
"I'm fine, thank you, Masaomi." Touji then returned his attention to the malevolent youkai, who was still standing on the same spot from where she appeared in the first place.
"What was that? I cannot see the attack, and all she did was snap her shears." Touji wondered, "Masaomi, did you notice anything?"
Meanwhile, the Slitted-Mouth Woman gave an eerie giggle, before she spoke again, "Am I pretty…?"
"It's the question again…. Could it be?" Masaomi thought of a theory, and he needed to test that, "Allow me, Father Shidou…"
"Masaomi?" Touji questioned when he saw Masaomi step forward and put up a defensive stance.
"Forgive my rudeness, ma'am; but I don't think you are attractive!" Masaomi then yelled at the youkai.
In response, the youkai opened and snapped her shears again.
At first, Masaomi felt like he had deflected something invisible; however, his body was suddenly littered in cuts. It was only thanks to his stance that he was able to protect his face and vitals.
"Masaomi!" Touji then procured a small glass bottle of clear water and threw it towards the youkai.
The youkai did not seem to expect the object thrown at her head. As soon as the vial shattered, she grunted in pain as her body emitted small steam upon the contact with the vial's content. The two exorcists immediately used the opening to withdraw further into the trees.
"Masaomi!" Touji called out again to check on his subordinate who was being supported by his shoulder as they retreated.
"I am fine, Father Shidou. The wounds are shallow." Masaomi regained his breathing and footing, despite his clothes being covered in cuts and bloodstains. "It appears my theory is correct; her attack depends on our answer to her question."
"That's reckless of you." Touji chastised while shaking his head, "...In any case, we can't give her momentum back. It's time for our counter-attack."
Masaomi nodded resolutely, then he and Touji perked as the woman emerged from the mist in front of them, still holding her shears.
"Am I pretty… Am I pretty…?!" the youkai repeated her question even in a more deranged tone, the blades of her shears were shifting eagerly.
Touji and Masaomi exchanged glances and nods before the former moved, "Cover me, Masaomi!"
Masaomi wordlessly obeyed by firing several shots of his gun towards the youkai.
The brief distraction was enough for Touji to close the distance and launch an onslaught on the youkai.
The Slitted-Mouth Woman was finally forced to retreat while awkwardly using her over-sized gardening tool to defend against Touji's swordsmanship. Although her weapon was not meant for combat, her movements were still dexterous enough to prevent Touji from landing a decisive blow.
However, Touji got a sense of foreboding when the youkai's presence became even more sinister.
"Am I pretty…? Why are you not answering?" the woman growled, her mask was slowly torn as if she was chewing the white fabric with her own mouth, "TELL ME! AM I PRETTY!?"
Her shears suddenly split into dual blades, and the Slitted-Mouth Woman swung her both arms with a surprising amount of strength that forced Touji to block while retreating a few steps back.
When the Slitted-Mouth Woman shrieked at them, her disfigured face was revealed to the world to see, and when they heard her scream, they froze as an unnatural fear gripped their hearts, robbing them of their movements as they stood in place.
"I… I can't…" Masaomi could not bring the strength to speak due to the unnatural fear holding him.
"What is happening to us…?!" Touji gritted his teeth as his body was struck with paralysis.
"AM I PRETTY?!" The apparition shrieked as it ran towards them, waving and swinging her blades wildly, cleaving through the barks of trees, the grass, and dirt in its rampage.
"D-darn it, I still can't move!" Masaomi cursed when the youkai was coming towards him.
"Masaomi!" Touji could only helplessly watch from where he stood.
Wild, flailing blades approached Masaomi, the slit-mouthed youkai grinning with manic glee as it swung for Masaomi's jaw.
But a bolt of energy struck it from the side, it shrieked as it tumbled away from her prey.
Masaomi blinked at the source of the sudden attack which saved his life - he could not be more glad to see her face.
"Cleria!"
Standing protectively in front of Masaomi, Cleria Belial summoned many magic circles, glaring at the recovering Slitted-Mouth Woman. The chocolate-skinned woman was clad in a black gothic dress with frilly, long skirt that reached her shin, her looks were completed with black matching shoes and head-band.
"Stay away from him, you bitch!" Cleria seethed.
"Cleria Belial?!" Touji recognized the she-devil.
Cleria sent a quick glance at the other exorcist, recognizing his face, before she turned to the other one behind her, "Masaomi, how is your condition?"
"I'm managing, thanks to you." Masaomi replied with a relieved smile.
Their moment was interrupted by the ghast's wailing shriek, the apparition flailing its blades out of rage.
"What are we dealing with?" She asked.
"The Kuchisake No Onna. If she asks you a question, she attacks depending on the answer. Saying affirmative will trigger a powerful slashing attack, while saying negative will trigger a multitude of weaker slashes."
Touji raised his eyebrows at his subordinate who willingly shared an intel with a devil without hesitation, but he kept to himself, considering the situation. He could not afford to be pridefully picky.
"….And I assume if you're to answer neither or none at all, the result is as what I am witnessing?" Cleria referred to the psychotic looking Youkai before her.
"She paralyzes us with fear somehow." Masaomi nodded.
"Am I pretty!? Am I pretty!? Am I pretty?!" The youkai woman kept repeating her question while swaying and swinging her blades around like someone possessed.
"Will you stop asking that?! That question is… Worthless!"
The woman grinned - deeming Cleria's reply as 'negative', she combined her dual blades back into shears and snapped the blades together.
However, her smirk fell when the intended effect failed to happen. She growled as she repeated the motion multiple times, only for nothing to happen.
"...Hmph." Cleria pointed her finger at her and her magic circles launched arcane spells at it.
The spot where the female youkai stood was then engulfed in a small explosion. When the dust cleared up, the Slitted-Mouth Woman was covered in burns and lacerations before her body crumbled into dust itself.
Masaomi and Touji watched the remains of the Slitted-Mouth Woman for a few seconds before they relaxed, finding their bodies were no longer paralyzed. Before they could have addressed the devil who saved them, however, the said devil looked at a distance before she flew off, leaving the confused exorcists who soon heard another explosion occurring, followed with a shriek from where Cleria flew to.
Few moments later, Cleria returned while carrying an additional person in her arms. Upon landing and abruptly tossing her 'baggage' on the ground, the exorcists got a look at the new arrival.
Another woman, this one was an elderly, dressed in a black cloak with long nails that nearly looked like claws, sporting fangs on her lips and a small pair of horns on her face.
"...An Onibaba?" Touji blinked.
The youkai known as the Demon Hag, known to pose as an old woman and attack travelers in the woods in ancient times, other legends stated the youkai as a witch as well.
"I was tracking a lead on the youkai trespassers in my territory, thanks to the information I received from Sir Genos. I sensed a bounded field in my patrol…"
"I see…" Touji nodded in acknowledgement as he stared at their assailant.
"I have heard reports on Senjutsu that allows the user to puppet familiars…" Cleria walked towards the ash pile and dug her fingers inside. She pulled out an amulet of sorts from the ashes.
It was made from bones, Cleria grimaced.
"...What is that?" Masaomi asked.
"A charm made from human bones…" Cleria answered, "Looks like this hag used this to control the one that attacked you."
"I see… they must be finally running out of patience with our investigation. This is a sign of our progress." Touji contemplated.
The three fell into a brief silence, in agreement with Touji's remark. However, the atmosphere suddenly turned awkward when Touji turned to Cleria.
"By the way, Lady Belial… I can't help but notice your choice of words when you saved Masaomi. May I be so bold to assume whether I am missing something between you two?"
"Uh…" Masaomi looked away awkwardly
Touji knew that his protege was a terrible liar. He glanced at Cleria… She was stammering with her blinking eyes.
He did not think that he would see a Devil fumbling so hard.
To be Continued….
Omake
"Kids? It's time for bed!"
Cleria Belial called out as she looked for her children inside their temporary living quarters provided by Grigori after the invasion fiasco.
She had checked on the empty bedroom before running into her husband, "Honey, have you seen the kids?"
"Hmmm… Let's check the living room."
The couple then made their way towards the living room, but they soon paused in their tracks upon the sight that greeted them.
"And then, papa swoops in and 'swish'!"
Sai, the youngest of the three, was entertaining their current guardians - Tobio and Lavinia who sat on the floor; the former was watching with an amused smile while the latter clapped her hands giddily.
Mr. Carp and Mr. Crab were standing behind the children as the children were fond of them. Sarah was still sad that she did not get her own awesome familiar
"The evil youkai got slashed in half, and saved the damsel from being sacrificed!" Mejiho swished with his hands.
Masaomi cleared his throat to make his presence known.
"Oh! Papa!" Sai and Mejiho waved their hands.
"Kids… what are you doing at this hour? Should you two be in bed?" Masaomi asked in a fatherly voice.
"We're telling them about you! When you were working with uncle Saitama in the beginning!" Mejiho smiled.
"Sorry about this, sir, ma'am." Tobio stood up and greeted the couple, "We lost track of time."
"Yes, yes. It was interesting. How you managed to kill the infamous Shuten Douji in one strike." Lavinia giggled.
Masaomi blinked, "I beg your pardon?"
"You were quite heroic. The kids kept boasting about how cool and awesome you were. Slaying armies of undead skeletons and slew that one evil giant thing." Tobio added.
Masaomi stared at the youth for a second before the former knew what the latter was talking about, "Err…."
Cleria smiled warmly and giggled.
The children were reenacting the stories their father told them. However, they were mostly overembellished… because he wanted to impress his kids and their time on that island could be boring.
"Yeah… It's nothing that great, really." Masaomi replied awkwardly.
"He called upon the power of God! Show us, papa!" Sai pleaded.
"Yeah, show us how God made you beat Uncle Saitama!" Mejiho nodded with an excited smile.
"Um…." Masaomi's eyes darted left and right, silently asking for Cleria, Tobio or Lavinia for intervention.
Unfortunately, the latter two were too curious to notice his pleas, while his own wife was too amused to respond.
Eventually, Masaomi decided to pull the final card by clapping his hands, "Perhaps next time! It's getting late, you kids need to go to bed, and the big bro and sis here have to go back home!"
""Eeehhhhhhhhh?!"" The children were disappointed, but they complied nonetheless - courtesy of Cleria's teaching about mannerism and obedience.
"Okay…" They hung their heads and obeyed. Their mother led them to their rooms, leaving Masaomi alone with Tobio and Lavinia.
"...So, would you show us how you beat Saitama next time?" Lavinia teased, earning a snort from Tobio.
"Please don't." Masaomi sighed into his hands in embarrassment.
Ahsoei/OldWanderer and i4md347h here.
After writing the prequel we realized that there are massive plot holes and we felt like we have done One-Punch DxD wrong with the way we failed to include Saitama and write about the lives of characters other than Issei. Honestly we were in a trance and we were writing for funsies, plus we have no idea on how to incorporate Saitama into the story without ending things too quickly and ruining the plot. That is how powerful Saitama is lol.
So here's the thing. Do you guys want an overhaul of the beginning of NEO, and possibly the Reversal as well? Note that we are not abandoning this one or posting an entirely new story - we are overhauling/rewriting bits and parts of the current one.
A poll is posted on FFN and (P) treon, so be sure to vote your opinion in. On that note, can we post a poll on AO3, by any chance?