OMG? What is this? Another chapter-a long one even-so soon? What is this? Yeah, I know. I'm shocked too, honestly. Well, the way it worked out was that I had already written this and a couple other potential chapters in Darcy's POV only to decide that I wanted to alternate POV, not including the Prologue, and needed to post a Severus POV chapter before I could post this one.
Anyways, here you all go! Thanks for all the Kudos, comments, and just plain awesomeness and happy vibes you're sending my way! You guys are all fantastic people.
This chapter is dedicated to Nakedpears over on AO3 who gave me a prompt for the first half of this chapter!
Everyone else who gave me a prompt, I promise I will try to add each one, providing that it's possible in my headcanon for this AU.
"Hey! You!" The long, dark haired man put down his -JANE'S-box and turned around at her shout to face her. And... okay, he's not like right up in your face hot, but damn...actually kinda hitting like all of her "ooh, attractive" buttons. Sure, his nose was a little big, his hair a little on the lanky, greasy side, but overall, she could totes be okay with it. His eyes were like pools of dark obsidian, and, given the chance, she was pretty sure she could definitely get lost in them. That amused little smirk curling his lips? Um, yeah. Totally something she could see finding both endearing and completely capable of pissing her off depending on the situation. Okay, yeah, the height and ooh, muscles were a bit of a turn on too. Not exactly a visual vitamin, and like...not her traditional hottie, but, um, okay she could already feel a little crush forming somewhere in her soul. "Yes?" Oh, gah! The voice! Yep, she was kinda already fucked. "Can I help you with something?"
The question actually managed to reach her brain and not just stop at her ears as audio saccharine, and then she remembered the righteous anger that had been boiling all up inside her literally a moment ago. "Look, Mr. Jack Booted Thug of a Mysterious, Unknown, but Apparently Acronymed, Agency, you took my iPod, and I want her back! I just downloaded 30 new songs! Why the fuck would you take her? I'm just the intern! And only because no one else applied, at that! What mysterious, groundbreaking shit could you possibly find on Janessa other than the awesomeness of my music?" she demanded, hands on her hips and an eyebrow arched with a fiery tint in her eyes. "I mean, yeah, I kinda get why you guys want Janey's sciencey stuff. It's a complete dick move by you fuckers, but I get it. She's always been the lead bitch in her field, but now that her shit has actually been proved and is relevant to the man who just fell out of the sky and all his problems, you guys want it and need it. Like I said, I actually kinda get it, but it doesn't mean you need to take everything or be asswipes about it! I mean, come on! Half of the stuff you're taking isn't even understandable to anyone but me or Jane! Plus, it's probably not even relevant or has even one word that correlates with whatever you want her research for! You don't need it! Anyways, Janessa. Give her back!"
"I apologize. Janessa? An iPod?" He wasn't fucking with her. He was actually serious and confused, like actually, literally confused.
The righteous eyebrow raise dropped instantly right after the words left his mouth. Disbelief took over, and her arms dropped in front of her. "Are you shitting me here? It's an iPod. Purple with blue earbuds, buddy! You know, Apple mp3 player! It's not that new! Where have you been the last...what? Ten years now? Are you shady government agencies really as bad as the movies?" Her eyebrows rose with an unimpressed incredulity.
From the way his eyes crinkled ever so slightly, she could tell that he was most likely trying pretty hard to hold in a chuckle or something. It was quiet, but he actual facts cleared his throat. "I apologize for my ignorance. I've only recently come back from somewhere that isn't...as up to date technologically. I suppose I missed this new invention."
She threw her hands in the air as an attempt to vent her unbelief. "Dude, you don't need to beat around the bush; you mean 'super-secret mission'. Oh my god, I can't believe it! Every actiony, spy agenty movie I've ever seen was right! Shady government agencies really are just pathetic! How could you, Hollywood? Of all the things to be accurate, you had to choose this! Why? Couldn't you have at least been accurate in how often a normal human needs to pee? Like seriously, no one can hold it in that long!" After her little rant, she turned her head back to the entertained thug dude person.
"If I can find it, how about a cup of coffee while you tell me how it works?" He even has the gall to attempt looking sheepish as he offers. She hadn't noticed before, but he had an accent. A real one. Yep, lady bits happy.
She crosses her arms over her lovely, bountiful chest with a smirk. "I thought you agenty types were into the whole 'wham, bam, thank you, ma'am, never to be seen again' dealio. You sure you'll be around long enough for coffee? Besides, I don't do coffee."
"I have a feeling I'll be sticking around for a bit, Miss. If you don't do coffee, what do you do?"
"It's Ms., not Miss or Mrs. It doesn't matter if I'm married or single or ready to mingle. I'm fucking amazing either way, and those names only demean that by insinuating that I need to married to be validated. However, if you're willing to accept my feminist ways that won't ever put up with your sexist and all-around demeaning shit and will call you out on it, then I could do a vanilla chai."
"Hey, Wolf, stop hitting on the poor girl and get your ass over here. Coulson wants it all packed and at the compound yesterday!" another seriously muscled Jack-Booted Thug called over. Okay, was it a criterion or something that shady government agencies had that required all their field agents to have bodies that made any non-bodybuilder civi have a complex? Not fair. Oh! Maybe that's the trick! Blind any bystanders with hot people and then disappear while they're still in a dazed, attractive people state! Yep! That's how it worked and why there weren't any flashy men in black thingies!
"An iPod, yes?"
"Yep. Her name's Janessa. Give her back, along with as much of my scientists' research as possible, and then maybe we can talk." She knew that he would most likely be unable to get her back Jane's research, but hey, may as well throw it out there! At least she's thinking of her scientists. She did a little nod before turning on her heel. "Oh, and if you want to, oh, I don't know, steal Jane's coffee maker, because that totally has something to do with uncovering the secrets of the universe in it just like everything else we own apparently, you know where to find us. Besides, it's not like this town is that big. See you around, Wolf," she threw over her shoulder.
"It's Severus," was all she heard before she was inside, prepared to comfort her poor scientists.
Once Thor did his thing and disappeared back into the sky with his Asgardian voodoo bridge thingy, Severus came back. He even did the polite thing and knocked instead of sneaky-sneaking his way into the building like she's pretty sure he could have. Then, once she had finished wrangling Erik into eating and sleeping and had made sure Jane didn't accidentally do anything that could potentially result in self-harm to her person or be world-ending worthy, she agreed to going with the Thug to the dinner, which was surprisingly not too destroyed after the giant metal robot of doom and Asgard rained hellfire on the town in its search for Thor.
As it turned out, he really didn't know more than pretty much nothing about what her beloved iPod was because when he gave it to her, he'd had to double check with another, more informed Agent that it was even an iPod in the first place, let alone hers, before plucking up the guts to come meet her again. Once she made sure it was hers, because that was something only she would be able to determine, and not another person's wickedly awesome device, she felt honor bound as a faithful Apple user to explain how Janessa worked to the poor, confused Severus across the table from her. He didn't have any of Jane or Erik's research for her, but she kinda expected that anyway. So, she started going about telling him all about her beautiful Janessa.
From that, she figured out he didn't know a whole lot about pop culture at all. Then it sorta became a thing for him to come over a couple times a week for a few hours so she could explain to him the wonders of current technology and the net and pop culture that he'd missed.
"Darcy? Are you alright?" her now husband's voice reaches through the past and draws her back into the present. She blinks. She's walking down a hallway with Sev. They've just finished breakfast in their rooms.
"Huh? Oh, yes. I was just thinking of the first time we met," she says. "Honestly, I'm still surprised you came back after my rant. Most people hightail it out of there when I do that."
He chuckles. "I almost did, to be honest. I nearly didn't go back after Thor disappeared. However, your bluntness was refreshing to meet after living with those that I did, and I found myself drawn to you."
"Well, I am glad you came back. Who knows how life would've gone if you didn't come back." A shiver runs down her back at that thought. "But you did, and I'm so happy that you did. I love you, Sev." It may be sappy, but fuck it. In the world they live in and with the people they associate with, even call friends, one never knows when they'll lose someone they love. Best to tell their loved one as many times as they can, whenever they can. Darcy had realized that quite quickly when she watched her then boyfriend battle aliens during the Battle of New York all those years ago, worried that she'd never be able to tell him those three little but powerful and amazing words again.
"Я люблю тебя тоже, моя света. (I love you too, my light.)" She smiles at him. She always loves when he speaks to her in Russian. After having been married to him for 3 years now and having known him a little before that, she's been able to pick up enough Russian to be able to understand most of what he says, but it's a crapshot if she can actually pronounce the language correctly herself. "And may I ask why you were thinking of our first meeting?"
"I've gotten a few people adding us how we meet you know. I'm new here and you've got a lovely little reputation for being the scariest teacher, so of course, everyone wants to know how we met and what about your charming personality got me to even consider saying yes to dating you, let alone marry you. Of course, I've been telling them the generic 'we met at a past job' story, but it's gotten me thinking about what actually happened. That's all. When do you have class again?"
"Ah. I see. I only have one more for the day in about 2 hours. Then there's dinner. Until then, I am free. Any homework I've assigned isn't due for at least a week, so I don't need to grade anything, if I remember correctly, even if the extra time won't make their work anymore dismal."
"Coolsies! That's plenty of time to start that tour you promised me!" Then she smacks him lightly on the chest. "Dude, they're kids. Of course, most of their stuff gonna be shit. That's why they're in school in the first place. We're supposed to teach them how to not have their stuff be shit."
"Indeed, I did promise to show you the best parts of the grounds since you now know your way around the castle. Is there any place in particular that you'd like to see first?" Even though she's never been to the castle before now, he's told her about the place enough times that there are spots that she'd say she wants to visit if she ever actually went to the castle. She rolls her eyes at his ignoring of what she said about being a teacher because she knows that he knows she's right and just doesn't want to submit it and scrunches her nose in consideration of his question. After a minute of thinking, she huffs.
"Oh, what the hell, I can't pick just one place, so you decide. Besides, I'm going to see it all anyway. I'm not gonna let you skimp on the tour."
"I believe we'll leave the forest for last as it is not a place you should need to visit often, if ever. I suppose the House dorms might be the best place to start, as they are where the students live, and you are their teacher."
"Great! Then let's mush!" She grabs his hand and begins to dramatically march forwards, ignoring her husband as he chuckles and knowing full well that she's got no idea whatsoever where she's heading.
"Darcy, my dear, left," he urges from her side, and she can totally hear the amusement in his tone. She makes the appropriate turn and then slows down to a normal, leisurely pace, pleased that she's at least entertaining herself despite probably looking like a wacko as she pulls him along in a place where she doesn't know her way around.
Around an hour and a half into the tour, Darcy and Severus find a trio of students, and Darcy is pretty sure one of them was in her first class, Ms. Granger if she remembers right.
"Oh, come off it, Mione, he's brilliant. Sure, even I'll admit what he did to that poor bug was mean, but at least he didn't do it to a student! Right, Harry?" the ginger-haired student asks their black-haired buddy.
"I don't know, Ron. I mean, did you notice what seeing all that did to Neville? He didn't look too good." the student with shaggy black hair and a cracking, lower voice, Harry, answers.
"Fine, but what he did to Malfoy was still brilliant. Finally, someone stood up to that blondey and saw him for the ferret he is!" the redhead, Ron, if Darcy's over-heard right, says.
"I dislike Malfoy just as much as you, Ronald, but don't you think turning the boy into a ferret and throwing him around was a bit much, especially from a professor?" Hermione Granger, the one student out of the three that she recognizes, says. From what Darcy can tell, someone did something to Draco and that just won't fly with her.
Darcy darts a look in Severus' direction, smoldering fire in her eyes, before marching over to the students. Her husband trails behind in the shadow.
"Excuse me...Ms. Granger was it, yes?"
"Oh, hello, Ms. Lewis!" the bushy haired Gryffindor greets with a cheerful enthusiasm. "That's absolutely correct."
Then she turns to face the other two more directly. "I'm sorry, but I don't think we've met. I'm Darcy Lewis, the new Muggle Studies professor, and wife to the apparent resident scary teacher."
"Hi, I'm Harry Potter," the black haired one says after a moment's hesitation, disbelief briefly flashing in his green eyes behind his coke-bottle glasses. He even holds out a hand, which she accepts and gives a firm shake.
Then the redhead does the same, awe in his eyes. "I'm Ron Weasley."
"Oh, good. Now, I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear something about Professor Moody and Mr. Malfoy. Would you mind filling in for me?" Darcy asks, the softness of her tone hiding the rage simmering beneath the surface.
"Oh, yeah. Um, a couple days ago Malfoy was bein' a prat like usual, but Moody wouldn't let it happen, you see. He was bloody brilliant-" Weasley starts.
"He transfigured Malfoy into a white ferret! Then he had Malfoy bounce around and stuff," Potter fills in. What the fuck? Turning students into animals and making them bounce around and "stuff?" Severus has never done that to any of his students no matter how much he dislikes them. Darcy is sure that no matter how much he nags her about how awful and idiotic his students are, he'd never be that cruel to a poor kid. And just what in the ever-loving fuck did Draco do or say that gave this Moody the urge to turn her godson into a fucking white ferret? Once she's confronted Moody, she and that dragon are going to be having some words.
"Only for a few moments, mind you. Professor McGonagall put a stop to it before any real harm could be done!" Granger finishes hastily, apparently already noticing that Darcy is very displeased by what she's just learned.
The static in the air raises just a tad with the next words Darcy grounds out through a gritted smile as she thinks of ways to tear into Moody for transfiguring and potentially harming her godson. They must be able to feel the air has changed because they suddenly pale just the tiniest and get uncomfortable expressions on their faces. "And it was Moody, yes? As in Professor Moody?" she needs to make sure before she accidentally aims her rage at an innocent person.
A twitch of a smirk flicks across her lips at the visible gulp that Weasley takes before nodding slowly, confusion tinted with fear in his eyes. "Yeah."
At this admission, a bright smile lights up Darcy's face, unsettling the trio of Gryffindors, which she can tell from the badges on their uniforms, even more at the complete turnaround of her outwards emotions despite the air still crackling with electricity and an air of danger. "Well then, thank you all for filling me in on some of the very interesting events that I've missed going on in this school. Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe Moody and I have some things to discuss. I'll see you around. Bye now," she chirps before spinning on her heel and marching away, Severus right on her heel and ready to aid her in her discussion with Moody. Once they have the opportunity, they duck into an alcove to listen to what the students have to say now that she's not right there. Sure, it could technically be considered rude, but she just wants to know what they'll say after she's left their direct line of sight. She's pretty sure they'll say something about her or Moody, but if they really do just change subjects, then they'll stop and leave the kids to their conversation.
"Blimey, mate, is it just me or did she give you the shivers?" Weasley asks the other two.
"I dunno how she did it. From what I've seen and heard from others, she's one of the nicest professors, if not the nicest, they've ever had. She also doesn't stand for bullies," Potter replies.
"It's true! She even gave us a lecture about bullies first thing, even before introducing herself. I think she's rather brilliant myself," Granger chirps. At hearing this, the brunette in mention sends Severus a smug beaming smile to which he simply rolls his eyes and smirks.
"Still, am I the only one who's kind of scared for Professor Moody?" Weasley asks.
"No, I am too, mate. Not quite sure why, though. She may be that greasy bat's wife, but she's nowhere near as scary or mean as he is if you ask me," Potter adds. "Honestly, I'm kinda curious as to how in the world they met in the first place. She's so nice and bloody gorgeous if you ask me, and he's so...not."
"Too right, Harry," Weasley agrees.
"Wonder what she's gonna do to Professor Moody, though. She didn't seem too happy about hearing him do that to Malfoy," Potter muses.
"Come on, Harry, it can't be that bad. After all, Moody's an ex-Auror, one of the best too apparently," Granger says. "Whatever she does can't be too bad, right?"
Soon their voices are too far away to be heard, so Darcy and Severus decide that it's probably safe to come out now. Then Darcy is charging down the halls with a righteous, fiery, passionate anger, intent on finding out the whole truth about what happened straight from Moody's mouth. No one humiliates or hurts a Lewis and gets away with it. Draco, being her godson, is definitely an honorary Lewis, and as far as she could understand from what little she just heard, Moody did both. Now he's gonna get the hellfire that's coming to him.
Let me know what you think! Have a good...however long it is until I update again, everybody! Internet macaroons (because I personally like them better than cookies) to you all!