After a stressful month of intense painting with Huan, "family" dinners, and a few surface level therapy session later, Kuvira found herself feeling even just the tiniest amount more free. She felt like she was capable of laughing and joking again and just making idle talk without all of the tension. Her sessions with Kya had proved to be less of a therapist/patient dynamic and more of a friend/friend dynamic which Kuvira felt better suited for. The two would spend hours together, just laughing, talking, and painting. Kya seemed to be the only person who could get through to the younger woman without causing any more damage, which is something Kuvira greatly admired.
"Are you ever going to show me what you're painting?" Kya asked for what seemed like the millionth time. A small chuckle made its way past Kuvira's lips as she turned away from her painting to face the waterbender.
"Not yet. The first person I want to see this painting, other than Huan of course, is Suyin." She placed the paintbrush down as as a melancholic look made it's way across her face. "I know I can't just...make up for everything I did to this family and more importantly the world." The trembling in her voice let Kya know that what she was saying was genuine, but still it saddened the older woman. "I'm hoping that with this painting, Suyin will see how far I've come and how much farther I wish to go."
Kuvira had always been more of a jock, participating in many competitions, dances, and anything else that soothed her physical body. But learning to paint was the one thing that currently brought her joy. The smell of wet paint, the sound of the brush on the canvas, and the otherwise deafening silence calmed her spirit.
The painting she had been putting so much effort into wasn't perfect, but it was her. She felt that even if she improved in her skills she would never be able to top it. It reminded her of everything she wanted to be and everything she strived towards for the future.
"Do you think you'll ever be ready to open up about what happened during your time in prison? I know my uncle was known for his work on the prison system, and that man was a sucker for true justice. But even I know the system has changed and not for the better." Most talks between the two women were never that deep, only surface level things. Nothing that mattered greatly. Still, Kya was grateful Kuvira had even given their "therapy" a chance. Not many people knew who the Great Uniter used to be and what she had become.
Kuvira thought about her request for a moment before speaking.
"I'm feeling a bit better today. Ask me one question, anything about my time in prison, and I'll answer it. I may not have the strength to give you a full answer, but I will answer the base of it."
"Progress!!" Kya thought to herself. She was truly proud of how the earthbender had been holding herself recently, and she was thankful that Kuvira had decided to open up.
"Alright, fair enough. Are two parters allowed?" She half joked. Kuvira nodded in silence as she resumed her painting. "Hm. Which guard treated you the worst during your time there, and what did they do to make your time worse?" Kuvira sighed deeply, knowing that Kya would hit her where it hurt the most.
"Figures you would ask that as your starting question. General Haoyu made my life hell during my sentence. As you know, I wasn't allowed to train or engage in combat there per the Avatar herself. And over time I began to lose muscle and weight. Which means I began to lose the means to defend myself." Her chest began to feel tight and her breathing became irregular and inconsistent. The memories of that guard haunted her every night and kept her in agonizing fear. But still, she somehow felt compelled to tell Kya the bare minimum that she needed to know in order to make progress.
"It doesn't feel right flat out saying the worst he's done. For now all I'll say is that a sadistic, misogynistic man should never be left alone with a female prisoner that could no longer defend herself." Against her will warm, salty tears streamed down her face as she let the brush hit her canvas once again. The most she could do to stop herself from sobbing right then and there was to keep quiet, although she wanted to drop the painting all together as she reached out for the waterbender. She was trying to be in control of her feelings for once.
"That's all you need to tell me for now. Don't push yourself any farther, you're making great progress. And kuvira? Please know that I'm proud of you," Kya replied in the warmest tone she could muster after hearing the words that had been uttered from Kuvira. A nod was all she gained in response. "You've only got a few more minutes before dinner. Would you like to be alone for just a few moments?" She asked cautiously.
During the original agreement to Kuvira's guardianship, she was not supposed to be alone EVER, with the exception of her time in her chambers. However, every now and then, Kya would sneak her in some alone time albeit just a moment or two during every visit. Another nod assumed to be a response.
Without another word spoken, Kya left. The older woman made her way to the dinner hall where Suyin and Huan had been sat, making idle conversation about his upcoming wedding. Upon making eye contact with the water bender, Suyin stood up to greet her.
After a brief hug between the two, Suyin asked, "How is she doing?" The same question week after week, and most weeks Kya had nothing to update her on.
"She's doing better, and frankly I think she's starting to feel better. She's definitely more comfortable here that's for sure. If I had to guess, I'd say it's probably due to your little rascal of a son," she replied as she grabbed Huan in a tight squeeze, which he most definitely hated. "She seems to really enjoy painting in her free time now. And she even answered a question for me today about her time in prison." The sudden progress shocked Suyin right to her core. As much as she wanted to know everything about all of the people who had wronged her during her reform, the older woman had to keep reminding herself that any progress was still in fact progress.
"Please don't feel inclined to tell me," Suyin started, "but as her guardian for the moment, I feel as if I should know. What did she tell you?"
Kya felt conflicted, as she knew she had only just gained Kuvira's trust and as her unofficial therapist she didn't feel it was right to immediately tell Suyin her trauma.
"I understand that you want to know, you're curious and you want to help her. You've always been the curious type, even when you were a little tyke," she chuckled. "Give her time to open up on her own. She does trust you, you know." The reassurance felt nice to hear, but still Suyin worried.
Their relationship would never be the same after everything they had put each other through. Only this time, Suyin wasn't so sure they could just bounce back from it. She wanted to speed up the progress but she was deathly afraid of what that might do to Kuvira.
"I think I'm done painting for the day. My mind is a little fuzzy now, I think I have a headache." Upon walking into the room, everyone went silent. "Did I interrupt something?" kuvira asked with a small smile. Suyin returned the smile before answering.
"It was nothing dear. If you're ready for dinner I can call in the chef now. And Kya, please, feel free to stay for dinner. Even better, I'll call up Lin and tell her to come over as well! It's been far too long since I've seen that old woman!" Kya and Suyin shared a hearty laugh before they parted to get ready for dinner.
—
"O-One...two...t-three..." Kuvira collapsed for what felt like the millionth time. No matter how hard she tried, it seemed that 2.5 push-ups was her max right now.
She had gotten back in to working out in secrecy but not for a good reason. She absolutely despised the way she looked. She looked weak, scrawny, and old. So much had changed about her against her will.
She had previously kept her brown hair in a neat braid at all times, and her body was adorned with impressive muscles. She would outshine any of the men in Suyin's army any day of the week. Her clothes always fit and complimented her muscly figure and she always felt good about herself. She felt powerful.
But now things were different. Her once toned and muscly body had been reduced to nothing more than skin and bone. Her ribs showed clearly every time she lifted her shirt and each joint she had protruded from her body. Her hair that she had once kept near and pristine had been graying and it lay flat in a messy ponytail. She used to be so proud of herself and how she looked. But every day since prison she avoided mirrors like the plague. She hated herself more than anyone else in the world could. She knew getting back to her former glory was more than a long shot, but all she wanted was a normal body again. As long as she loved herself again she didn't care.
Before she had a chance to feel any worse about herself, a gentle knock echoed through the room.
"Hey, Kuvira? It's Huan. I wanted to talk to you about something." He had been standing at her door for quite a few minutes at that point, but he stood without knocking. Truth be told he had very important news for her, and he was afraid she would decline his offer.
Kuvira quickly wiped the sweat from her forehead and straightened her clothes out in an attempt to hide what she had been doing. "Come in," she said as politely as she could muster upon opening the door.
Huan practically launched himself into cushion before gesturing vaguely for Kuvira to join him.
"So... I have some big news to tell you," he started. A slight pang of guilt waved itself through his stomach as he spoke. Kuvira acknowledged his words with a small nod before heading over to her small kitchenette area.
"Does this news warrant some tea?" She asked half jokingly as she waved her kettle around. The small laugh and the sparkle in his eyes was the only answer she needed to start it. She lit the stove in front of her before turning to face Huan once again.
"Have you come to tell me about this partner you've kept hidden from me?" She prodded after a few moments of silence.
"Ah, well, I guess you've figured me out," he admitted sheepishly. "Ah Kuvira, always the observant one."
"When's the wedding?" She asked, cracking another joke. He cleared his throat quickly before answering.
"Well...you see it's, er, tomorrow night. I've been planning it for almost a year now, actually. And I've mentioned to my mother how much it would mean to me if you were there." Kuvira nearly dropped the kettle as he spoke.
"Me? At your wedding? Huan...I-"
"Listen, I've already discussed it with her as well as avatar Korra. They both agree that it would be a good opportunity to do a quick check up on you, just to see how you're able to handle large events. And you won't have to worry about seeing my brother there, we haven't seen him in quite some time."
The news hit her hard. So much would be happening. A check in with Suyin and Korra and a huge social event. Not to mention that this would be the first time she had been in the publics eye since her dictatorship.
"Listen, I appreciate the sentiment but-" he cut her off once again just as swiftly as the first time.
"I want you there. You and I have no bad blood between us, and we've gotten especially closer this last month. Just...promise me you'll consider it okay? Whether you attend or not is your choice, but either way there will be a check in. Think about it, please," he begged.
A small sigh fell from her lips as she sat back down on the couch in front of him.
"I can't promise I'll go, Huan. I just don't want you to be disappointed if I don't show up. Regardless of if I'm present, just know that I'll be supporting you even if it's from the sidelines," she replied after a moment of thought. This time a sigh came from him, as he carelessly pushed a piece of stray blue hair out of his eyes.
"I understand. I just wanted you to be aware, is all. I'll be going back to my area of the compound. Have a good night, Kuvira." Before leaving her quarters he stopped to give her a quick hug. The unexpected touch surprised her a bit, but she allowed it from him. Not too many people were allowed to touch her anymore, but Huan was quickly becoming the exception to the rule.
After he left it was just Kuvira alone once more. She sat in silence for a few minutes as she finished her own tea and thought about what he had asked of her. She ultimately decided to turn in for the night and make her decision the next day when she wasn't so sleep deprived.
—
The next day
Suyin woke up even more stressed than usual. Since Kuvira's arrival at the Beifong compound, she had been losing more and more sleep. It wasn't the younger woman's presence alone that caused the stress, it was the fact that she had been keeping a major secret from her and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hide it. Today was the day she decided on telling her.
It was fairly early in the morning, early enough that if this secret caused World War Z to happen then it wouldn't ruin her son's wedding. Huan had actually been the one to pressure her into spilling it as he knew that Kuvira would already be under enough stress if she chose to attend his special event. Suyin was pulled out of her own thoughts as she reached the dining hall.
"Wait here, okay?" She whispered behind her as she entered the dining hall on her own. At the table sat Kuvira, Huan, and Bataar, two of which already knew what she was going to announce.
"Well it's certainly nice to see you again, my dear!"
Those words again. Those words alone were enough to shake Kuvira to her core. She kept a neat face in front of Su regardless of how bad the words affected her.
"It's nice to see you too," she replied with a small flinch.
"How has your painting been going?" Suyin asked with a plastered on smile. She hadn't bothered to sit down yet and the slight non action made the younger earthbender nervous. Bataar picked up on her uneasiness right away and soon began to feel nervous himself.
"It's been fine, I suppose. I'm nowhere near Huan's level of course. Is something...going on?" Her palms began to sweat a bit as the guards who had previously been in the hallway moved up to the dining hall.
"Well...Kuvira, you've been here a month now yes? And you've been attending therapy sessions with Kya for about the same amount of time. How well would you say you're doing here? Are you comfortable?" Suyin's endless questions felt like needless rambling that Kuvira wished to end as soon as possible.
"It's...fine? You aren't here to give me bad news are you? I'm not being placed back into state custody am I?" Kuvira was clearly panicking and she could feel the tears beneath her eyes forming already.
"No, no! Nothing like that!" Bataar chimed in. "Please, Suyin. Sit down." He motioned for his wife to take the spot next to him as he knew her fidgeting was sure to set off Kuvira.
"I'm honestly not sure if there's an easy way to tell you this. You're safe here, and no one is taking you back to prison," she reassured her. "As you know, tonight is Huan's wedding, as well as your one month check in with Korra. Have you made a decision on your attendance yet?" More fidgeting ensued.
"Y-Yeah, I had planned on attending if that's what Huan really wants. What's all this about?" She asked, her tone settling just a little.
"There's no easy way to tell you this. You can come in now," she said to the hallway behind her. Through the doorway entered two small kids, clearly earth kingdom children. They looked possibly related and both were relatively young, no more than ten.
"Suyin what is this-"
"These are our...kids."
As if Kuvira could not be more nervous about the big event that was set to happen later that night, this absolutely broke her. Over the course of the past month, Kuvira had known that Suyin was hiding something. The matriarch was something of a awful liar and her protege had always known her better than nearly everyone else, even 10 years in prison could not change that. Between the accidental remarks, the extra confinement to certain areas of the compound, and the shared looks between Bataar, Su, and Huan, Kuvira had known. But this was so much bigger than she could've imagined.
"She hid TWO kids from me this whole time? Did she hide them because I'm a felon? Or because she was afraid of what I would do once I found out?" An endless line of questions racked her brain and she quickly started to spiral. The sadness and mistrust hit with one fell swoop, and they were followed by a punch of anger and betrayal. It had been years since the younger earthbender felt true anger, but now it felt like second nature again.
"Children?! I'm sorry, please fill me in one what I'm missing. They can't be your biological children. So how exactly did you get them?" Kuvira's red hot anger seared through the room in an instant and for the first time in 10 years she began to metalbender again. Butter knives, spoons, forks, plates and the like were now floating mid-air and the children behind Suyin began cowering. The guards looked to Suyin for signs to restrain the angry woman but of course she gave no such signal.
"They came to us from a situation not unlike your own! We hadn't told you yet because we didn't want you to feel betrayed or hurt!" Her reply granted a crazed laugh from Kuvira.
"Hah! You didn't want to hurt me? So you replaced me, got new kids to try to fix where you went wrong with me. Is that it? Because you screwed up so bad with me I became a homicidal dictator, and now you're trying to prove to people that you know what you're doing?" Her fist hit the table with a booming thud and it was followed by all of the silverware and plates. This time she couldn't stop the tears and she began to sob violently. Bataar reached for the distressed woman until she knocked away his hand with a slap.
"DON'T! Don't you DARE touch me! I don't want either of you near me. I'm not doing this."
Suyin took a deep breath and tried to gather herself before speaking.
"Kuvira! Listen to me when I say this; this is not in any way supposed to be us 'making up for you'. Things could have been different but they're not. We have nothing to prove to others and neither do you. You're changing and working on yourself, you're becoming your very best self. And us taking in these kids has nothing to do with you, I swear. I have always loved you, Kuvira. I would never try to replace you, regardless of our past," she finally said in an exasperated tone. Her throat felt sore after having to raise her voice so much but it seemed to be the only way to get the younger woman in front of her to calm down.
Tears still streamed down her face as Kuvira tried to reach for Suyin, before violently ripping her arms away. No. No one could get in. No one could get too close. How could she be so stupid? How could she let herself be vulnerable like this? The younger woman started to leave until calloused, strong hands gently grabbed her wrist and shoulder.
"Kuvira, please. You know us. You know we would never do anything to hurt you intentionally," he said as she froze in a panic. He quickly let his hands fall to his side while he waited on an answer from the woman in front of him.
"I can't do this. Not right now. Just let me leave," she replied through gritted teeth. Her jaw ached from how tightly she had her mouth locked. Her shoulders were drawn up in a tense state and the rest of her body seemed to match the defensive stance.
"Does she not like us?" A small voice squeaked outside of her range of view. The child's tone absolutely reeked of that childlike sadness. Her eyes widened as she went from panic to embarrassment. Did she really have the nerve to stand there and let a child no older than ten think that they were the problem?
"Biyu, that's not what she's-"
"It's not you. I'm leaving now, enjoy breakfast without me," Kuvira said, cutting Suyin off abruptly. Bataar took a few steps back before a defeated look spread across his face.
He wanted to help Kuvira, to comfort her, and let her know that it was okay she was angry but he couldn't bring himself to say anything as she allowed her guards to escort her back to her room. He stood there for a moment trying to think of any way this big reveal could've gone better, but even he could not think of a way to solve everything. Instead of following Kuvira he checked on his wife and the kids.
"Su, I'm so-"
"I knew it would go this way. You know I've wanted to tell her since she got here. I thought she might be well enough to handle it, but I'm afraid I hoped for too much." The younger of the two kids took a seat on the ground feeling a bit frustrated himself.
"What did we do?" Yuto asked glumly. Bataar knelt down beside him and gave him a sad smile.
"You did nothing wrong, son. Kuvira even said it herself. It's us she's angry with," he replied.
"Why is she mad at you?" Biyu asked, feeling the small temper in herself rise.
"Many years ago, Kuvira came to us in a similar way that you did my dear," Suyin replied, taking a seat on the ground next to Yuto. "Her parents had abandoned her and we were the only people that could take her in. But we were wrong in the way we raised her, we never treated her like a daughter. She was never my daughter, always more of a project left unfinished. She's angry with us now because she feels as if we're trying to erase the past by taking in you two." Suyin kept a smile on her face as she told the ages old tale but it was clear how much the story truly pained her. She never had a normal relationship with the woman, not even as she grew to be an adult. It was always either anger or love, but never the love that Kuvira had needed.
"Darling, why don't we give her some space. She might still show up at Huan's wedding tonight," Bataar said calmly as he reached for her hand. His wife shook her head in agreement.
"She better, if not for you then for me," Huan whispered under his breath. A small chuckle escaped Suyin's lips.
"I'm sure she wouldn't miss it."
—
One punch, and then another, and then another. Had she broken her hand at this point? Kuvira couldn't tell. Her right hand had gone numb and blood was seeping from her wounds. There were no holes in the wall but still she had left her mark with blood smeared prints of her knuckles. This had gone on for hours upon hours.
Kuvira was working herself past her limit, possibly damaging her already frail body. She was drenched in both sweat and blood. She was angry. And she felt that she had every right to be.
She alternated between punching, kicking, and other various forms of exercise until her body just could not take any more abuse. She was dehydrated and nauseous, and her body was well past it's limit when she collapsed in a heap on her floor. Her heartbeat was through the roof and her chest was too tight for comfort. Once the anger had ran its course through her body she found herself crying silently on her bed.
She wanted to sob. She wanted to punch something. But most of all she wanted to stop feeling like an outsider in her own home. "What used to be my home," she thought to herself. She felt herself wanting to be angry at the kids, at Huan, at Bataar...but most certainly at Suyin. She couldn't bring herself to keep up the anger towards anyone but Suyin, but even that faded away too.
"Hey, kid," a voice called out behind her. She turned around quickly and was met with the sore sight of Lin Beifong.
"When did you come in?" She asked as she rubbed the tears out of her eyes. Lin laughed at her question.
"I've been here for a few minutes. I think you were too busy wallowing in self pity." Kuvira was still facing the wall as she talked to the Chief. Lin made her way over to the bed before sitting down and laying a hand lightly on the younger woman's back.
"I know why you're upset kid. But don't you have a wedding to get ready for?" She asked as she rubbed her hand gently over the other woman's back.
"Why should I still go?" Another sob escaped Kuvira's throat.
"Probably to support Huan, at the very least. I know he would really appreciate you being there. But I can't force you to go, either way you'll still have to do your check in with Korra." Another sob.
"I can't go like this," she replied as she turned to face the one person she trusted through and through. Lin let out an exasperated sigh.
"Kid, you've got to stop beating yourself up like this. Look, let me clean you up and get you into this outfit. We can go in together." A small hiccup escaped this time.
"What about Kya?" This time Lin rolled her eyes.
"She's helping Huan's fiancé. You can just stay with us the whole night if that's what you prefer."
Kuvira thought about this offer for a moment before giving her a small nod.
Lin spent the next forty-five minutes getting the younger woman ready. She helped her into a hot shower and even braided her hair afterwards.
"Where did you learn to braid?" Kuvira laughed. A smirk made its way across Lin's face.
"I did have a little sister growing up. She always wanted me to braid her hair, until she became a little hooligan that is."
After her hair was braided, it was time for the outfit.
"Here, put this on. I'll turn around," said the chief.
"It's fine, it's not like you haven't already seen me like this," she replied with a blush to her cheeks. Lin continued to face her, but tried to keep her eyes averted. Until her eyes landed on a massive bruise taking up far too much of the younger woman's left side that is.
"Kuvira! What is this? Who did this to you?" Lin asked, almost completely engulfed in rage.
"I-It's fine! No one did this to me. I...did this to myself. Not on purpose though!" she frantically spit out.
"You've got about 3 seconds to explain this before I go ballistic, kid."
"I...may or may not have started training again?" She phrased her answer more like a question in an attempt to downplay what had happened. A frustrated sigh came out of Lin.
"And this was the result? Kid if you needed someone to train with you, you could've asked my sister. Hell, you could've asked me! Or Kya even! It looks like you're pushing yourself too far past your limits. Stop hurting yourself as a way to cope!" Lin nearly yelled in response. Tears started to make their rounds again and the older woman quickly tried to backtrack.
"Listen, I understand that right now you're really going through it with this whole anger thing. I get it. No one could understand it more than me, I spent my whole life being angry over something I resolved in 15 minutes. But you've got to tell people these things. Because if you don't Kuvira," Lin took this moment to pause and grab the half dressed woman in front of her by the shoulders, "you're going to end up back where you were. Just filled with bitterness and rage. I cant let you go back to that, kid. You've come too far already." This time Kuvira couldn't stop the tears. They ran down her face and onto her bare chest until Lin lifted a hand to wipe them away.
"Stop your crying, and just promise me you'll tell me when you feel this bad. I'm here to help you, kid. I'm always here for you." Her unusually kind and gentle words struck something in Kuvira, causing her to reach out and pull Lin into a deep hug.
"Will you start training with me? I need an outlet so I stop having outbursts. I can't keep bottling everything up. I am so sick and tired of this," she growled as she tried willing the tears to stop. "And I truly miss having you around to keep me safe from myself."
The older woman, who was very much not into hugging, embraced her tightly. After placing a quick kiss on her forehead, Lin spoke.
"Of course I will, Kuvira. Now come on, you're going to be late to this wedding if you don't hurry!" Lin broke from the hug first and threw the remaining pieces of clothing at the still teary eyed woman. Once she was dressed, and most of her wounds were covered, together they set off for Huan's wedding.
—
Suyin had always been the flashier of the two Beifong sisters. She was always the prettiest woman in any room she walked into, whether intentionally or not and everyone had been well aware of this for years on end. Until the night of her middle son's wedding.
Suyin herself adorned an elegant pale green gown that illuminated her sense of beauty. It resembled that of a body wrap, as it's only job was to cling to the matriarchs natural curves. It was more daring than her usual day to day outfits, showing much more skin on her midsection and thigh. The gown itself was outlined in a halo of golden intricate patterns, giving the wearer an ethereal look.
Her hair she wore up with nothing but a few golden pins to keep it stable, and some flowers woven between her silver curls. As for jewelry, she preferred to keep it simple with just a plain golden necklace and some matching earrings.
People had been greeting her left and right and had been sending all sorts of praise her way. Thank you's for the invites, congratulations on Huan's wedding, and just any other general praise. But the moment that Kuvira stepped into the room it fell eerily silent. She was absolutely stunning.
Kuvira's outfit was much more simple than the matriarchs. Suyin's eyes ran over the length of her body over and over again, and it felt like her heart had just kickstarted itself. Lin had picked out a simple dark green turtleneck and a matching light brown jacket and pants to match. The suit itself had flecks of gold scattered within the threads, giving Kuvira and overall glow. During the braiding process earlier Lin had also decided to add golden thread to her hair as a matching compliment to her greying locks. To Suyin, no one else could be as beautiful.
When the rest of the room fell silent, Kuvira felt her stomach drop. She started sweating profusely and her grip on the chief tightened immensely.
"Kid, if you don't loosen your grip I might lose my arm," Lin joked under her breath. The younger of the two loosened her grip the tiniest bit while she continued to panic internally. And then her eyes caught up with Suyin's wandering ones.
In that moment, sparks were flying left and right and certainly high enough to cause an issue. Kuvira could feel her heart speed up and her cheeks glow red as she took in the sight that was Suyin. She wanted to still be angry over the talk they had had earlier in the day but something about the way the older woman was looking at her caused her to drop any and all negative emotions she had, if even for just a moment.
"You look..."
"Beautiful..."
Those were the only words either of them could muster as they both adorned matching red cheeks. They appeared to be starstruck, just completely enamored with one another. Before either of them could reboot themselves, Huan grabbed their attention.
"Everything is in place. It's time to start, mom." Her eyes stayed fixed on Kuvira as she responded to her son.
"Go ahead and take your place with your father, I'll get everyone to sit down." After he left, her full attention returned to Kuvira.
"You're welcome to sit with the family if you'd like, my dear." In that moment Kuvira could swear her heart was trying to jump out of her chest. It was almost like an old flame that had once burned high had relit itself. What was she feeling? Remnants of anger? Happiness? A crush? Truth be told she wanted nothing more than to spend the evening sitting next to someone as beautiful as...
"No," She thought to herself. "I can't just forgive her like she did nothing, regardless of how she looks tonight."
"I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable," she replied instead, her voice sounding just as small as she felt. Her answer caused a small pang of pain to Suyin's heart. The older woman wasn't sure what her newfound feelings were or what they were trying to force but regardless of the younger woman's answer, she kept a smile on her face.
"You could sit a little farther back with Kya and I if you'd like," the chief offered nonchalantly. Suyin shot her a dirty look as Kuvira shot her a pleading look.
"I think it's for the best if I'm not too close. Too many people here know who I am and what I've done, and I wouldn't want to ruin Huan's wed-"
"KUVIRA!!" A bold voice rang out as the crowd around them scattered to find their seats. Rushing in came Avatar Korra, her heavily pregnant wife Asami, and their three young children. The earthbender turned just in time to be bombarded with a tight hug.
"H-Hey, Korra..." was all she could utter before the avatar squeezed her even tighter. When she was finally able to breath again she stuck her hand out to Asami and said, "it's nice to see you again, as well." Asami took her hand and gave her a warm smile.
"I hope you're doing well, Kuvira. I hope you don't mind, but we overheard the discourse on where you're going to sit. Korra and I were just thinking-"
"MAYBE YOU CAN SIT WITH US!" Korra boomed again. Her boldness has always amused Kuvira, and she let out a small chuckle in response.
"Very well then. If you don't mind me around your kids, that is." Asami rolled her eyes.
"Kuvira, it's been 10 years. Stop letting it get to you, I know how much you've grown. You can sit with us in the back, okay?" She said as she lovingly wrapped an arm around the metal bender. Kuvira just smiled in response. Still Suyin felt a little bitter about the whole conversation, but she decided to keep calm for the sake of the wedding.
The group quickly took their seats and with that the wedding proceeded.
—
Many congratulations were in order. As Huan and his new husband walked down the aisle together, everyone cheered. Everyone had come from all over to support him, including his whole family. While it was nice for him it certainly posed an issue for Kuvira.
Opal and Bolin showed up together with their daughter in tow, Wing and Wei with their respective girlfriends, and Bataar Junior with his new and pregnant wife. Kuvira was not told this ahead of time, as not even Huan knew his oldest brother would be there.
During the reception Kuvira thought it to be best that she stuck to either Korra or Lin's side in hopes to avoid unwanted confrontation. For the most part of the evening, it worked. Until Suyin began talking to her that is.
"You look very beautiful tonight, darling," she said, slurring her speech the tiniest amount.
"That she does!" Bataar Senior responded with a hearty laugh. Embarrassed by the sudden compliments, Kuvira blushed deeply.
"Lin gave me an outfit and essentially demanded I put it on. She's also the one who braided my hair," she replied as the blush spread through her body. Suyin extended a hand to the younger woman, signaling her to take it.
"What happened to your hand Kuvira?" Suyin asked as she examined the wrap.
"It's nothing," Kuvira replied all too quickly. Suyin shot her a suspicious look before dropping her hand. Lin gave her a knowing look in an attempt to urge her to tell Su what really happened. "I can tell you about it later, just not here."
"Yeah, just don't tell her about the other injuries," Lin muttered into her cup of wine. Those words really caught her sisters attention now.
"Other injuries?" She prodded. Oh how Kuvira longed to just disappear in that moment.
"Later, just enjoy the wedding," she replied with a fake grin plastered across her face. That anxious look made its way across Suyin's glowing face once more, but she decided to drop it for the time being.
Suyin walked away for just a moment to congratulate her son and Lin took this moment to attempt to beat some sense into Kuvira.
"You're going to have to tell her, you know. She's going to be at your evaluation, and it's not just a mental one. Korra is going to be examining your body too," she muttered. The younger woman's heart sank to her stomach.
"A physical as well? What more do these people want?!" She thought to herself.
"It's fine. I'll tell her after Korra leaves. I don't want them to think this isn't a good placement for me," she glumly replied.
"Are you sure this is a good placement for you?" were the words that shook Kuvira.
"Why wouldn't it be? Am I doing something wrong? Is Su doing something wrong?"
"It's just something to think about, kid, don't sweat it. Do you really think it's good for you to be here? Considering your...past with my sister." The thought alone gave Lin a major ick.
"I...don't know?" She replied as the panic filled her chest. "If you don't mind, could I get some fresh air? It's a little hot in here." Kuvira didn't even wait for a response before turning around and heading out of the nearest exit.
She found herself alone on the balcony and for the first time in a while, she was okay with that. Her head felt as if it was going a million miles a minute. All of her previous thoughts throughout the night flooded her brain like nightmare waves threatening to drown her.
"Kuvira? Are you okay?" A small voice called out. Suyin had found her. Kuvira just have a shaky laugh before she responded.
"No, not really."
The older of the two joined her on the balcony and shut the doors behind her to give them a bit of privacy.
"Would you like to talk about it?" She asked patiently. She had already caused one set back today and she wasn't intent on causing another. All Suyin wanted was to make Kuvira feel safe with her as she once had so long ago.
The older woman made her way over to the stone bench looking out over the balcony and sat down, motioning for Kuvira to join her.
"I know you're still upset with me, Kuvira." A hard lump had formed in the younger woman's throat as she tried to hold back the tears that were fighting against her. No, she couldn't cry, not now at least. She could lose her composure with the avatar in private, but not now. She decided to take a seat next to her mentor but for the time being, she refused to face her.
"You should know why I'm so hurt."
"I do. It's not your fault, it's my own for making you feel like you don't mean as much to me."
The silence between the two was deafening. It was almost as if you could hear their individual racing heartbeats if you listened close enough.
"Can I touch you?" Suyin murmured into Kuvira's ear as she scooted closer on the bench. The feeling of her hot breath on Kuvira's cold neck gave the younger woman goosebumps as she let out a sigh. Her breathing was much heavier than it should've been but it seemed for the night that her body had a mind of its own.
"Yes."
A few seconds went by before Suyin gently wrapped her arms around the younger woman's waist and closed the gap between them. She continued the closeness by resting her chin gently on Kuvira's shoulder but not before placing a small kiss on it.
"If I overstep my boundaries please let me know, the last thing I want to do is make you want to leave me again." Kuvira's eyes widened in shock and it took everything in her to stay locked in the older woman's arms. Once again, the tears could not be helped. They streamed down her face before landing on Suyin's bare arms, which caused the matriarch to hold her closer.
"It has and never will be your fault, you know. And I want you to know that there's not a day that goes by that I don't regret not being there for you in the way you needed," Suyin whispered in her ear after a moment. She could feel Kuvira tighten up a bit as she spoke, so she loosened her grip enough to ease the tension.
"What do you mean?" Kuvira managed to choke out. A few more seconds of silence and another small kiss later, Suyin elaborated on her previous statement.
"I was never a mother for you. I didn't give you the love you deserved. And once you reached adulthood I...used you. I messed everything up between us." In less than a second Kuvira spun around and buried her face deep into Su's warm chest.
"Stop. You may not have been a mother to me, and maybe a little part of me will always resent you for that, but you never used me." Suyin was surprised by the quick motion but she welcomed the embrace.
In an odd turn of events, Kuvira could feel a sharp pair of eyes drilling holes through her very soul. She pulled away from the warmth of the older woman and searched the nearby area with her eyes.
"Is something wrong?" Suyin asked as she took Kuvira's large hands in her own.
"You don't feel tha-" that's when Kuvira locked eyes with the person staring her down. Opal. The look on her face could kill anyone standing in her immediate path. "It seems someone isn't happy about us being alone on the balcony together," she said flatly. She was in no way emotionally ready to face Opal again as she had no more energy for drama left. She felt drained emotionally and physically.
Bolin had been standing next to his wife when he noticed the daggers she was shooting out of her eyes. The panic set in and he tried his best to pull her away from the balcony door but even the strongest earthbender was no match for a woman full of anger.
"So you're still trying to break up my parents?" She growled as she flung open the doors. Bolin looked thoroughly embarrassed as he continued to try and pull her away.
"Honey I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding," he said frantically. "For your sake I hope it is," he whispered under his breath towards the other two women.
"Opal, you've got nothing to worry about. We were just talking. I'm actually about to leave, so no need to worry," kuvira responded firmly. Huan had seen the potential fight happening from a mile away and he quickly rushed to the balcony with his father and husband in tow.
"What's going on?" He asked between huffs of breath.
"Opal! Stop trying to start things at your brothers wedding!" Bataar demanded of her.
"It's fine, really, I'll be on my way then," Kuvira said once again."I'm not trying to cause any trouble. Besides, I think it's time for my one month assessment. I'm truly sorry for any inconvenience." Kuvira passed through the small crowd and made her way into the reception hall once more to search for Korra.
"Hey, are you feeling alright?" Asami asked suddenly, seeming to appear out of nowhere. The sudden appearance nearly scared Kuvira half to death, causing her to jump a little.
"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Do you know where Korra is by chance? I'm ready to get out of here and do my evaluation. There's been a bit too much excitement for me," she replied as she let out an awkward laugh. Asami gave her a concerned but understanding smile before she replied.
"She's near the stairs talking to Beifong if I'm not mistaken. Just tell her to send the kids my way when you see them, okay?"
"Will do. It was nice to see you again, Asami," Kuvira replied.
"It's always nice to see you Kuvira. You should visit when they lower your restrictions!" The nonbender called after her as she walked away. Kuvira just laughed at the small interaction, attempting to distract herself from the confrontation that had happened with Opal.
She made her way through the crowd on her search for Korra, trying her best to avoid the only other person that could send her into a panic that night.
Within a few minutes of weaving around people Kuvira found herself at the bottom of the stairs, finally face to face with the avatar. Korra took one look at the distraught look on the older woman's face and instantly knew what she was there for.
"Hey! You ready for your evaluation?" She asked, the signature avatar smile spread on her face.
"Yes I am. Asami wanted me to tell you that you can just send the kids her way, by the way," she replied. Korra took a quick look around Kuvira before sending her three rowdy kids into the other room.
"Where's Su?"
"Er...she's dealing with some trouble." Kuvira replied hesitantly.
"I'll grab her, you two head off to her office," the chief said as she took a step forward. The two women nodded at each other as they walked up the stairs.
"So..what happened?" This question drew out a long sigh from Kuvira.
"Family trouble, I'm sure Suyin can explain when she meets up with us," she replied as vaguely as she could.
"Do you want to wait for her? Or would you rather start the physical without her here?"
"I'd rather start without her, what I'm about to show you would bring about too many questions from her and I'm already exhausted," Kuvira explained with a strained smile. The two women made their way into the small office and the door closed behind them with a thud.
Korra immediately sat down on one of the couches and looked towards the older woman.
"I'm ready when you are." This prompted Kuvira to quickly shed her clothes, for fear Su might pop in at any moment. As she shed her clothes more and more bruises became apparent, leaving the avatar with a puzzled look.
"Did someone do this to you?" she asked after a moment of silence and pained looks. Kuvira shook her head.
"No, I accidentally did this to myself." Korra quickly stood up in order to poke and prod at the woman in front of her. This was standard for her meetings with Korra, always getting into her personal business. Still, she would have preferred Korra more than Su.
"Elaborate?" This time it was Kuvira's turn to sit down.
"I've gone over this with Lin just for a moment. I started training again and I might have pushed myself past my limits," she replied, referring to the large bruise on her side.
"What about this?" Korra asked, this time referring to the wraps on her hands.
"I...had a bad reaction. A moment of weakness to some news that was dropped on me," she replied meekly. She wasn't proud of her outburst and she wanted Korra to know that. "I need an output. For anger, that is. I've asked the Chief to train with me for the time being. If that's alright with you?"
"I can get behind that. But Kuvira you have to know your limits, as well as Beifong's. I don't want you hurting yourself, on accident or on purpose, again. You're free to put your clothes back on now," she replied with that mother like tone in her voice. Kuvira was still half undressed by the time Suyin entered the room.
"I'm sorry about that Korra, some family drama decided to rehash itself," she replied as she closed the door behind her. She opened her mouth, as of to say something, but stopped short upon laying her eyes on Kuvira's exposed side.
"Okay, Su, before you misunderstand what happened-" Korra quickly jumped up to deescalate the pending situation, but was cut short by Suyin's outrage.
"Who did this to you?!" Suyin nearly yelled out of anger. She quickly rushed to examine the bruise better. She almost instinctively lifted Kuvira's shirt to get a better view, but restrained herself at the last second. Touching her after what had just happened was not a smart move, and both of them were well aware of it.
Kuvira pulled back and covered herself as quick as possible.
"Su, no one did this, it was an accident," Korra responded as she slowly moved towards the older woman.
"You did this to yourself because of me, didn't you?" The heavy question lingered in the air as all of the women went silent for a moment. Kuvira couldn't bring herself to meet the older woman's eyes as she finished dressing herself. "Are you going to answer me?" Suyin asked.
"What do you want me to say? Yes? No? What is it that you actually want to hear from me?" Kuvira asked as a wave of anger flashed through her.
"I just...I want to know if I did this to you!" Suyin responded, matching Kuvira's own anger. Korra stood there in silence as the deafening sound of their anger spread.
"No," was all Kuvira could bring herself to say.
"Guys I don't know if this placement-"
"I don't want to leave," Kuvira said as her head snapped up to meet the avatar's eyes. "This placement is fine, don't move me."
"Level with me here. This doesn't look good to any sane person. Why would I think about keeping you here if it's hurting so much already?" Kuvira's entire body was shaking with anxiety like her mind was just bouncing off of the walls inside of her. Suyin stood there, still silent, with her arms wrapped around herself.
"This is a good placement because it's pushing me to find different outlets for bad emotions. You already know that I'm finding different outlets and openly seeking out help. I haven't hurt anyone but myself. Just...please," she begged. "Give me a few months, a year even, and I'll show you that this was a good placement." This time it was Korra's turn to cross her arms and stare up at the ceiling, feeling exasperated.
"I don't want this to be bad for either of you. So I can accept that arrangement for now. But! As of now, you both have to attend therapy together as well as separately. I don't expect this to be fixed overnight, but you two live together now. You have to make it work!" She let her arms fall to her side as she spoke. "Just promise me you're going to work out whatever the hell this tension is!" This time it was quiet for far too long. Both of the women stood there just staring at each other before breaking the awkward eye contact. "You both know this arrangement will only work as long as you're both getting along," Korra said after a moment.
"I understand, Korra. And I'm sorry for overreacting to this. Are we okay Kuvira?" Suyin asked. Kuvira dropped down into a seat on the couch and nodded.
"Yes, we're good. I understand what you're saying Korra, we're both going to make an effort to have a better relationship," the younger earthbender replied.
"Okay," the avatar replied after a few more moments of silence. "Why don't we cut this short then. Kuvira, you're free to go back to your quarters. As for you, Su, we need to talk." Kuvira bowed her head and left without another word, leaving the other two women alone.
"Su, do we need to have her moved?" Korra asked quietly.
"Why would you need to move her?" Korra let out a deep sigh as she sat down on the couch nearest to the earthbender.
"You and I both know your history. Lin has offered to house her just outside of Zaofu but it was you that fought to have her here. Could it be that you might have some unresolved feelings?" Suyin's stance became defensive as she crossed her arms in a huff.
"Korra that's not what this is and you know it. You and I have history as well but you don't see me going out of my way to do things for you. This isn't unresolved feelings. It's just...I thought I could help her. I wasn't there for her before but I can do this for her now," she said in a hushed tone as she took a seat next to Korra. The brief mentioning of their complicated past drew a pang over regret out of the avatar, but she remained silent for a few seconds.
"Get it under control. Talk to Lin if you have to. Just figure it out okay? I want this to be good for both of you." Suyin nodded.
"Of course. I'm going to head back to the party and let my family know that everyone is okay. Hopefully the party has died down by now." The two women stared at each other for just a moment before parting ways once more.
Suyin made her way back to the vacant hall to explain everything to her family and Korra found Asami and their children and left. The night had come to such an abrupt end, leaving everyone a little emotional.
As Kuvira's head hit the pillow her eyes begged for the release of sleep. Her mind ran through the events of the day as she thought of how everything could've gone so different. But before she finally dozed off she thought about that moment with Suyin on the balcony and the way her heart felt. Instead of dwelling on it further, she brushed it off as she succumbed to her tiredness.
Suyin wasn't so lucky. The day had been overly eventful sure, but not in the way that would've and should've drained the matriarch. Instead the events of the day kept her tossing and turning all night, completely unable to fall fully asleep. After probably four or five hours she felt a warm hand on her back.
"What is it Su?" The gruff voice behind her asked.
"I felt...something...when I was on the balcony with Kuvira. And I can't get it out of my mind," she admitted as she tried to fight back tears. Bataar enveloped her in his arms as she turned to cry into his chest. He had been there during the first heart break and he wasn't sure she could survive another. All he could do in the moment was rub her back and listen to her as she sobbed. And for that night, that was enough for her.