It seemed going for a walk and getting a little fresh air had not done as much good as she would have liked. Instead she returned to the apartment feeling more torn up than when she left. She wanted nothing more than to be allowed to just deal with the issues she had on her own, in her own way. It was what she knew. But yet it was clear the man who walked into the apartment with her wished to help. And he was doing that in the way he knew how. It was just so hard as both wanted to deal with the issue. But how they would deal with the issue was vastly different.
Deku was bound by the law, but he did not see it that way. He saw it as the correct way to deal with problems like this. But she saw it as nothing but restriction after restriction. The reminder of what Arakawa had said to her, his taunting's, held some truth and she knew that. Deku could not kill anyone. But criminals did not have that issue, if they wanted someone gone they could and usually would make it happen. Just tossing a criminal in jail did not mean someone was safe. Aoi knew all too well criminal's worked together to some degree. Even those who usually worked alone still had circles. People who would help them out or do something for them for the right price even. There was nothing truly stopping a criminal from making a hit on someone. But a dead man can't talk. Problems usually die with the person causing them.
And even if Aoi herself was not a criminal she knew who to talk to. She knew people who could point her in the right direction, introduce her to those who were professional problem solvers. And she would not care what it cost her, to know that her problem was solved would be all that mattered.
That night Aoi found herself cooking for them. It was simply a habit and in that moment her mind and body were begging for the need to get back into some sort of normalcy. She clung to what few things she could that made her feel normal. And cooking dinner again was really the only thing she could do that made her feel slightly normal. But still her mind was reeling. How could she get away from the hero? He was like a watchdog. Then there was the fact that the building was full of hero's, and had someone standing guard over the front door. And she could only imagine that the guard at the front was aware of who she was and that she was not to leave without a hero.
So how would she be able to get away? Getting out to the street would make her feel better. She felt like a sitting duck in this apartment. It would not be that hard for someone to realize where she is. She was a mouse in a cage. She would be easy pickings for anyone who wanted to hurt her. That scared her, no it terrified her. She wanted to be allowed to run and hide. To do what she knew was safe, she knew how to survive on her own. She knew how to hide and how to live. But this was not surviving in her world, this was just waiting to be picked off.
Even as her mind was in a terrible turmoil, she found her body moving on autopilot. She was making a simple curry. Rice was in the rice cooker, curry was on the stove. She was stirring it subconsciously. Luckily it was such an easy meal to cook, it did not require her to focus on the food. It was a good thing her body knew how to work on autopilot. It was probably the only thing that kept the food from being burnt.
With her body moving on autopilot she loaded the two plates and had even placed them down on the table before she blinked her eyes slowly and looked around when she noticed she made two plates but no one was at the table. Looking around it was not hard to spot the large green haired man sitting at the couch watching the news. She hoped he felt as itchy as she did to get back to a normal life.
"Midoriya. Food is done," she called out softly which seemed to quickly have the man perk up and turn his attention to the woman who spoke up. Of course a wide smile broke out across his face as he climbed to his feet.
"Smells great," he said as he took his seat in front of the larger piled plate. While Aoi had moved to take her own seat in front of her own small plate. She did not reply to his complement as she sat down and just simply started to eat in silence. She knew it may come across as rude still, but she could not deny she was still a bit upset with the man. She did not like that she had never had a say in anything that he had done since her first day in that hospital. He had never asked her if she wanted to be in this protective witness shit. She was never asked if she wanted to just be uprooted from her life. She was never asked if she wanted her freedoms stripped away from her. She was never asked if she wanted to be protected.
She knew he was just trying to help. But she had not asked for his help. She was never asked if she even wanted his help. And for some reason that irritated her. She was still mad at him. She knew she should not be so mad. But she somehow felt betrayed at the same time. It was just a tornado of thoughts and feelings inside her brain as she ate.
She retired to her room as soon as she was done eating and had placed her dishes in the sink. There was no reason for her to stay out in the living room with him while she was sulking and moody once again. Damn it she had really hoped the little walk around the block would have lightened her mood. But their conversation only upset her. And so she hid away in her room not wanting to be bothered as she attempted to unwind the tangled emotions and thoughts in her head.
The fact she was able to fall asleep at all that night was almost amazing. But it was a restless sleep. She was tossing and turning. The bed sheets entangled her legs. And a sweat had started to coat her body. Her dreams had quickly turned to nightmares.
She had been reliving dinner, she had been standing at the stove cooking again. It had only been her, she was cooking Izuku's favourite though instead of curry. But this was where her memories started to torment her. A knock at her door had her stop cooking. Company was not a scary thing yet. She was walking towards the door, just like she had that fateful day. She had called out she was coming. But she never made it to the door.
Once again she watched as the door to her home blew open. The sound of the door hitting the floor had been loud. She had reflexively raised her arms to cover her face.
"Did you really think he could protect you?" The voice was the same. It was a voice she would never be able to forget. A voice that still taunted her. He had not only physically beet her before but had mentally fucked her over as well.
"No! No this isn't right. This place is safe," she said, quickly backing away from the man who had tormented her. She quickly looked around whether it was for help or a weapon her panicked mind had not been sure.
"Oh, did you really think you were safe? That a couple of simple hero's could keep you protected? You should have known better than that," his voice taunted. A wide grin on his lips, his eyes barely slitted open as he watched her. His footsteps were silent as he started towards her.
She could not get away fast enough. But he had stood between her and the door to her freedom. Getting past him would be no easy feat. Her body was already shaking, her legs threatening to no longer hold her up. Panic was taking over. Where was Deku? He had promised he would protect her. Yet she needed him and he was not present. That feeling alone was enough to bring her to her knees. He was right, she should have known better. She did know better.
She watched the man start to pull a knife from nowhere. One second it was just him and the next he held a knife in his hand. And he was getting too close. She couldn't get away, her body refused to move. Even as the pain erupted from her skin as the blade sliced into her. All she could do was scream.
She threw herself forwards, darkness was all she could see. Panic was setting in. She could not get away, the blanket entangled her legs and prevented her from being able to jump out of the bed. The door to her bedroom opened flooding the room with light from the hall. But that didn't stop the panic. The pain, the burning, she could still feel it.
Suddenly she felt a hand touch her back. She could not hold back the scream she let out as she tried to move away from the touch. The hand was quick to pull away as a soothing voice filled the air.
"Aoi," it was simply her name that she heard, though she was sure more was said to her. But all she could hear was her name. It was Izuku. That was all she needed to know to have her turn and throw herself at him. Her hands grabbed at him. Her face was buried into his shirt. She could not control her breathing nor the cries that shook her body.
Breathing! She could not breathe. Her body refused to listen to her. Her chest would not expand. Tears blurred her vision, or maybe it was the lack of oxygen? She was not sure. Her racing heartbeat had filled her ears blocking out all other noise. Yet large warm hands against her were slightly grounding. One hand was softly rubbing her back. He was saying something but she could not make it out. It's not like she could have answered him in any way even if she could make out what he was saying.
She was gripping at his shirt as if he was her life line. If she lets go she may die. She could not get any noise out as she struggled to try and breathe. Getting air into her body was a painful struggle. Everything hurt, her body was aching, she was pretty sure she could still feel the burning of where the blade in her dream had sliced through her skin. She may not have been able to make out what Izuku was saying but just hearing his voice as well as feeling his arms wrap around her as one hand rubbed her back was slowly bringing her back to herself.
Slowly she regained the ability to breathe, but sobs still shook her body. She could hear Izuku softly trying to sooth her. Telling her it was a nightmare and that she was okay, she was safe, he was there. The words themselves did not bring her any comfort. But his voice did. How long she sat there clinging to him and crying into his shirt she was not sure. But eventually the sob's turned to hiccups.
"Are you okay?" Finally he asked her how she was now that it seemed she was in a place where she would most likely answer him.
"No," She answered honestly as her body was still shaking and she could not bring herself to release his shirt from her cramping hands.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked but she did not answer him as she felt a new wave of sob's start all over again. No. No, she did not want to talk about it. Thinking over the nightmare only had new panic taking over.
"I need to go. I need to get out of here. It's not safe," she was mumbling quickly as she suddenly threw herself away from Izuku. The action must have surprised him as he did not originally stop her when he could have easily held onto her. She was throwing herself off of the bed. But her legs still entangled in her blanket meant she could do nothing more than throw herself face first over the edge. And she could do nothing but watch as the floor was suddenly coming towards her as she screamed out.
But the pain never came, she never made it to collide with the floor. Something wrapped around her stomach, it was not warm like a body limb nor as solid feeling. A glance down revealed an almost smoke looking black line. Effortlessly the black smoke pulled her back onto the bed slowly. Till large warm hands were able to wrap around her again. Wide eyes looked up at Izuku, it had been his quirk, he had used it to keep her from throwing herself off the bed. She had never actually seen him use his quirk before in person. Once again she was pulled in nice and close to Izuku.
A thanks sat on her tongue but she couldn't bring herself to actually say anything. Instead she once again quickly clung to the man. Her body was still shaking as she clung to him. But before she could say anything else she felt a hand petting her wildly tangled hair.
"It's okay. You are safe. I won't let anything happen. It was just a bad dream," was the soft coo that had filled her ears. Had she not been so shaken she would have started to laugh. Just a bad dream? That was not even close. It was a terror. It had racked her to her soul. It was all she could do to keep from bursting out into tears once again. She was scared. She could not remember the last time she had been so scared or that she had felt so helpless. And she hated it.
How long he sat there with her once again she was not sure. Hell she didn't even know what time it was when she had first woken up. Nor did she really care. All that mattered now was that she felt slightly safe in his hands. And that was able to keep her from panicking again as she tried to get herself to calm down.
She knew that a part of herself was screaming that he really couldn't keep her safe. Not as safe as he thought he could keep her. And yet she actually found herself crawling into his lap, wanting to be closer to him. She had heard the soft squeak of surprise that had left him at the grown woman crawling into his lap so she could completely curl up against his large chest.
"Thanks," she finally got her mind and body on the same wavelength so that she could make her mouth work now that her brain was also able to process and think again.
"You do not need to thank me. I heard you scream. I worried something had happened," He said softly as he continued to pet her head. Had there been more light in the dark bedroom she probably would have noticed the red that painted his cheeks.
"Did I wake you up?" She asked softly, feeling a little bad for waking the man up in the middle of the night.
"No," It was a lie and they both knew it. And yet she did not argue or say anything.
Instead she simply remained quiet as she curled into him as if she was a kitten curled up in his lap. She did not even care that she could feel his thighs against hers meaning both of them were in just their underwear with shirts on. She did not care, it's not like her brain could think about that right now even if she wanted to. And she would have welcomed the distraction, just any distraction from her dream would be welcomed. But her brain refused to allow that.
"Will you stay?" She asked softly, picking her head up a little to look up at him.
"Yes," He said softly without any hesitation as he slowly started to slide across her bed till his back could rest against the headboard. Not completely comfortable but it was better than sitting on the edge of the bed while trying to hold her to his chest.
"Thanks," She said so softly she was not sure if the man had actually been able to hear her or not. She did not care if he heard her thanks. All she cared about was that she felt a little more calmed as time went on and she stayed curled up against his chest.
Eventually she listened to his breathing grow slow and even. It seemed Izuku had fallen asleep while she remained awake and curled up in his lap. She did not care if he fell asleep. Sleep would not be possible for her tonight, she knew that, even with the comfort of being embraced by Izuku. She watched as light had started to fill the bedroom a little from around the curtains that sat over the windows.
Although she was exhausted and would have loved to welcome sleep her eyes refused to close for more than a second. The memories of pain flared every time she tried to close her eyes. Her heart would instantly start to race and she was forced to open her eyes and take in the room around her. She buried her nose into Izuku's shirt and welcomed the musky scent of the man. It was an oddly soothing scent and it helped loll her into at least a relaxed state as she remained snuggled into Izuku while the man slept.