Self doubt and depression could be crippling and completely destructive. Even as the shower stopped running and Aoi could hear Izuku moving about the apartment she couldn't bring herself to really pay him any attention. Even the pain in her body felt numb in the moment. So much self doubt and thoughts were swimming in her head. She could hear Izuku doing something, eventually the smell of something cooking told her the noise she heard was the man in the kitchen probably making supper.
It wasn't till a knock at her door that she was reminded that she had been hiding herself away. She could hear Izuku call out to her. Seemed dinner was done. But she just wanted to be left alone to wallow in everything, her pain, her self doubt, her embarrassment, and just wish to curl up and hide till she perished. But she knew doing so would probably worry him. She did not wish to do that. So instead she ever so slowly rolled over. Wincing instantly as her body protested the simple action.
If she thought rolling over was bad, pushing her body up to sit up was even more excruciating and nearly had her whimper. Why did she hurt so badly? It had probably only been two hours since her tumble. Maybe. She actually had no idea what time it was or how long she had been laying in bed. But she didn't think it was that long. Yet her body felt incredibly stiff and sore already. Ugh and tomorrow was only going to feel worse, she knew it.
Forcing herself to her feet was physically harder than she expected, her legs screamed while holding her own weight up. The muscles are tight and tense all over her entire body. Even just grabbing some shorts to put on and then dragging her feet over to open her bedroom door was painful and slow. Of course Izuku must have heard her hissed and soft whines of pain as he had not left his spot from in front of her door. He even seemed to breathe a sigh of relief at seeing her as her door opened. Seeing that she was clearly still alive.
"How are you feeling?" He asked with genuine concern in his voice. Yet all she could do was give him a blank look. How did he think she felt? She felt like shit on a stick, physically and mentally. It seemed with her lack of an answer and the look she was giving him was more than enough of an answer as she watched him rub the back of his neck with a scarred hand.
"That bad huh? Well come eat and I'll get you some painkillers from the bathroom cupboard," he said as he flashed her a soft smile and stepped back from the doorway to let her slowly inch her way out of her bedroom. Her body ached so hard. Ugh it felt like she fell down a flight of stairs not just off of a treadmill. Her right ankle hurt, as did her left hip where she could feel an angry bruise already having formed. That made each and every step agonizing as she slowly waddled like a broken little old lady into the kitchen and sat down. She could hear Izuku scrounging around the bathroom in what she was assuming was the hunt for painkillers for her.
The table was already set with two plates. One was a nice normal helping size, the other was enough to feed probably three other people. It was easy to tell which plate was her's and which was his. Sitting down in front of the smaller serving she looked down at the wonderful smelling curry. A slight spicy scent came from it, it smelled and looked amazing.
She was saying her thanks as Izuku walked into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of water for her before putting down the cup and bottle of painkillers he had on hand. She said a soft thanks before plopping a spoonful of curry into her mouth along with some of the white rice. It was slightly spicy, but not so much that she did not like it. The rice was perfectly cooked, the potatoes nice and soft but not mushy. It was still rather surprising that Izuku could cook so well. Honestly he was probably a better cook than her based on this meal.
She did not originally feel hungry yet, but she knew that she shouldn't take painkillers on an empty stomach. And she also doubted Izuku would just let her walk away without eating. It would only make him worry more. The curry tasted amazing which helped in forcing herself to eat.
"This curry is really good," she compliments before sticking a second spoonful of food into her mouth. Izuku was seated across from her and flashed her a soft smile.
"Thanks though I shouldn't take any credit. This is one of Kacchan's recipes. I had him walk me through it to make sure I made it perfectly," Izuku said, giving her a slightly sheepish smile. Learning that had her pause mid bite for a second, her nose scrunched up. She did not exactly like the idea that this recipe came from or that Izuku had called that man to be walked through how to make it.
"It's not too spicy is it? Kacchan adds a lot more spices to his. I tried to dial it down a lot. But I still worried if I made it too spicy," Izuku sounded like he was about to start rambling. Forcing the mouthful she had down quickly she smiled at him.
"It's a little spicy but it tastes good. The spice is not too much. You made it perfectly," she said as she smiled at him trying to reassure him. That seemed to make the man happy. He was smiling widely and completely giving off happy golden retriever puppy energy.
Though he seemed happy as they are, that did not stop Izuku from flashing her worried looks, asking her how she felt. Encouraging her to take some painkillers even though she had hesitated a little. She had seen what drug addictions, even ones as innocent looking as painkillers did to people on the streets. But she reminded herself that plain over the counter painkillers should not be an issue. They would be safe.
After getting half her plate downed she popped two pills into her mouth and with a swig of water she swallowed both pills at once. She did hope they could help some. The muscles in the back of her calves were starting to cramp. Her right ankle had a soft throb to it. She probably twisted it when she tripped over her own feet. Her neck and shoulders were stiff still from sleeping curled up into a ball on the floor of her bedroom. Why must the world hate her so?
She wanted nothing more than to crawl back to her bedroom and just wait till the pain would ease some. But the worried glances Izuku kept tossing at her had her thinking that she may not be able to do that.
"Are you really done eating?" He asked, looking concerned as he was still scarfing down the last half of his own meal.
"Yeah just wasn't all that hungry," she said softly as she poked at her leftover meal before she glanced up and paused. His eyebrows pulled together, and concern was written all over his face. It seemed that may not have been the best thing to say.
"Are you sure you're okay?" The man questioned looking more like she was dying than just a little hurt. She didn't have the heart to tell him that it was her mental pain that was killing her appetite and not her physical pain.
"You worry too much. I'll just put away the leftovers and will eat them later when I get hungry some more later," she said as she went to stand up. Only to hiss at the pain in her right ankle. That was more than enough to have Izuku jumping to his feet and rushing to her side.
"What hurts? Sit back down. I'll clean this up for you," he was fast as he scooped her plate out of her hands before she could even try to tell him it was okay. Not like she could have forced him to not take the plate from her. With a huff she simply sat back down slowly into the chair.
"You could have waited till you were done eating first. There was no need to rush. Your food is just getting cold," she shouldn't have wasted her breath. Wasn't like Izuku was going to listen to her. Her little sugar cookie was going to worry about her first before himself. Typical hero. She sipped at her water as Izuku wrapped her plate and tucked it into the fridge before returning to his seat.
"You didn't answer my question," Izuku pointed out as he sat back down and started to eat. She paused and had to think for a second which question she had not answered.
"I may have sprained my right ankle. But it's not that bad. I think the muscle cramps in the back of my calves hurt more than the ankle," she mumbled softly before grabbing at her glass of water again and taking a sip so she could attempt to look away from him as she spoke.
As such she missed how the man sitting across from her was looking at her. Still so worried about her and her own wellbeing. He quickly shoveled a few more spoonful's of curry and rice into his mouth before finishing his plate. Once empty he got up and put his plate into the sink before walking over to Aoi.
She had not noticed Izuku was done eating till he stepped right up beside her. She was just picking her head up to look over at him before strong hands were grabbing at her body and she found herself being picked up out of the chair. The noise of surprise she made was rather undignified and embarrassing as she felt her cheeks flush.
"Izuku," she tried not to shriek his name as her hands instantly reached up grabbing his shirt as she was picked up bridal style. She had not at all expected for the man to just walk over and suddenly pick her up.
"Just relax on the couch and put your feet up," He said simply flashing her such an innocent and toothy grin the man could probably blind the sun itself with. Made it really hard to tell the man no or to get mad at him for surprising her so much. Instead she gave him a soft huff of air, threw her nose as a reply and let him carry her beaten and sore body to the couch. He handled her as if she was a delicate flower. Which she wanted to roll her eyes at. Once again she refrained from doing so.
At least this couch was much better than her own couch was. This one could actually fit three average adults, unlike her little crowded loveseat. And it was actually soft, well soft for a couch. It didn't feel like someone had just shoved cinder blocks into the middle of the couch. She could actually feel her body relax as much as the tight and tense muscles would allow. The t.v was running but she never bothered to look up at it as she let herself sink into the couch.
Upon his return Izuku held something in his hand. Oh it looked like something wrapped in a towel.
"Here this should help with the pain in your ankle. If you sprained it then you should stay off it for a bit. Keep it elevated and put some ice on it to keep it from swelling or getting worse," Oh it was a bag of ice that he had wrapped in a towel.
"Thanks," She said, starting to sit up so she could reach for the bag of ice in his hands. But he never offered it to her. Instead he moved to the edge of the couch where her feet had been placed. He gently grabbed her ankles to lift her feet up. At first she assumed he was going to place a pillow under them since he had told her she should keep them elevated. Had she actually looked around she would have noticed the couch had no throw pillows, nor had he grabbed one either. Instead he carefully held her legs up as he moved to sit on the couch. He gently placed her feet into his lap.
She was not expecting that, her face lit up. She was having an internal crisis, did she wash her feet well enough? What if it was uncomfortable for him? Why was he even doing this? She almost didn't even notice as Izuku held the ice filled towel against her sore ankle. One hand was holding the ice in place. While his other hand found its way for his fingers to slightly reach around her leg so the rough, calloused pads of his fingers were able to gently start pressing into the tight muscles of the back of her calves. He was massaging at the back of her left leg.
"Izuku," she squeaked and found herself flushed as she realized what he was all doing. Without pausing for a second he glanced up at her.
"Oh is the ice too cold?" He asked as if that may be what she was so caught off guard about.
"No that's not it. It's just that you don't need to do this," she said as her cheeks blazed with colour. She was perfectly capable of elevating her own leg and placing some ice on it. She didn't need to use his lap as a pillow, have him help hold the ice in place, nor did he need to be massaging her tense and sore legs.
"Oh but I want to," he said before his own cheeks flushed and he flashed her an innocent smile.
What was she supposed to say to that? Sure she could try to kick him away. But that seemed even rude to her. And also his fingers were feeling like heaven on the tense muscles of her legs.
"Well you don't have to," was the weak little mumble she gave back as she turned her head away from him trying to hide her embarrassment. She tried to look over and make it look like she was watching the tv.
With that they fell into a nice silence. The noise of the tv kept the room from falling into complete silence. But it wasn't a heavy or awkward silence. It was just nice as she laid back and relaxed. While Izuku was massaging her legs with oddly gentle fingers. It was hard to believe that a man who could flatten an entire apartment complex with a single punch could massage her legs so gently.
That thought had Aoi glancing down at his hands. Said fingers were scarred and crooked. Lines crossed over every single finger. There didn't look to be an inch of skin from his wrist to his fingertips that was not marked in some way. Either lines, or misshapen skin littered the large hands. She could feel by the way each individual finger applied pressure which ones seemed to have more damage than others . The middle finger on his left hand didn't seem to work as well as the others. His right hand had a finger that couldn't seem to make a proper circle when he was rubbing circles over one calve.
She had not completely noticed such things before. Sure she was aware, his hands were scarred. But she never truly realized how damaged his hands were. All it took was following the scars that extended up his wrist and she could see the damage visible on his arms. His right arm was sporting a compression sleeve over his elbow. She had seen him wearing it a lot. It sat over a bad scar that ran up the length of the entire arm. Smaller scars also littered his skin but nothing like that one.
At that moment she couldn't help but wonder. What the hell had all happened to this kid to make his body look so rough and mangled. His hero suit covered up all the marks. So she didn't know if he had those scars when he was a young hero or did he get them lately? No, that wouldn't make sense. She saw how his healer worked. Her powers rewound time. She could return his body to a time before the wound was inflicted. And as such the wound would not scar. That meant that those scars must have been caused when he was younger and at a time he can not go back to for concern of losing his strength that he needed for being a hero. Or did he somehow get them while he was a kid? That was a dark thought. And for a second she could see it happening. His family may have been nice. But she knew that others often were not so nice. Quirkless people were picked on, ostracized, beat up and harassed for simply being who they were. And kids could be as ruthless as adults at times.
She knew that from her own experience. And if Izuku spent the first twelve or so years of his life quirkless then he could have experienced some extreme bullying. She wasn't sure if she liked that answer or the one that he acquired them during training. She didn't like either option.
She must have been staring at his scarred fingers too much. They suddenly stopped massaging her legs. Picking her head up to look at him she noticed the small smile on his lips. His eyes locked with hers before his fingers started again.
"Ugly aren't they?" He asked before looking down at his own hands.
"You said that once before. I don't think your scars are ugly. But I am curious how you got so many and some are pretty bad," she said softly as she looked over at the middle finger on his left hand that nearly didn't work well at all and was clearly bent and crooked. She missed the way the man blushed as she was too busy watching his fingers work at massaging her legs.
"Oh uhm my fingers were primarily damaged while I was training. I used to break my fingers almost daily for months. Oh but it's because when my quirk manifested I couldn't really control it too well," She must have made a face of some kind. Because he was quickly explaining in more depth about how he couldn't control his quirk. Which made sense. It wasn't uncommon for kids with strong quirks to some times hurt themselves or others when they first got them. Izuku would have been competing with people who had almost ten years longer than him to learn their control. Izuku probably rushed it, which in turn led to his injuries.
"What about your arms?" She asked as her eyes traveled to look between his two scarred arms and the marks she knew they each sported or the fact that Izuku very often wore a compression wrap around the one elbow while just relaxing in the apartment.
"My arms are the result of fighting with villains while I was a first year at UA. A few too many punches with my quirk and my arms were shattered in a few fights," he answered her as he still continued to rub her sore legs. But at least it felt like the massaging had helped loosen the tight muscles.
Well both those answers were not great. But maybe it was better that he got injured while training and fighting. And that he had not been hurt as a young kid before his quirk. She had heard and seen what could happen to quirkless kids. But she was relieved his extremely bad injuries came from being a hero.
"You got the injuries from being a hero. You should never find them ugly or disgusting," she said as she let out a sigh and let her head roll back a little. Stretching a little she let out a soft groan at the complaint the rest of her body gave at the simple movement. She was simply trying to make him feel better after all she had noticed he seemed a little self conscious of the scars.
With her head rolled back and eyes closed as she groaned at the pain of even the simplest movement. She never noticed the way Izuku's large green eyes filled with tears when hearing her warm words. Izuku had never been told anything nice about his scars. To hero's they were just normal. Almost every hero had at least one if they worked out in the field. But Izuku had a lot, and sure his friends had their own fair share, especially Bakugo. But his friends had never commented on them, never saying anything bad, but also never anything good. And it oddly had him feeling incredibly touched.
Aoi let out a sigh as her body continued to relax as the two sat on the couch. She never even planned to fall asleep as Izuku was nice enough to massage her legs and check on the ice pack on her sore ankle. Why was his presence so soothing? Her worries, concerns and nightmares seemed to vanish when he was around. It brought her a peace she was not used to having.