It became easy to fall into a routine. A plain and boring one, but a routine nonetheless. Izuku went back to being a hero. Which left her home alone almost every day. She expected that it would feel lonely. Since she had woken up in that hospital room he had not left her alone. Sure at times he gave her space and let her hide in her bedroom like a depressed idiot. But she could always tell he was still around. She could hear the tv play something, or listen to the clatter of pots and pans being moved around in the kitchen when he cooked. At first she thought she would enjoy the silence. The ability to just walk around the apartment alone, like she would have her old one. But trauma is a bitch.
The moment a silence lingered for too long she found herself remembering that night. She would look at the door expecting it to fly off the wall. That thought would then trigger a panic attack. None had been as bad as the first one. But since then they felt like an almost daily occurrence when Izuku was working. And he worked everyday.
She never told him about the little issues she had while he was gone. She knew it would make him worry about her, then he would either stop and come back home to baby her again, or worse he would end up sending someone else to babysit her. And the last thing she wanted was to be stuck with some other hero all day long.
She was a grown adult. She could deal with her stupid issues. She had been dealing with her issues all her life. These issues would be no different in the end. That had been far from her first beating she had taken. The days before she had met Dabi had been full of her being punched, kicked and having had items thrown at her by mostly adults. A stray kid looking for food was seen no differently than a raccoon scrounging in their garbage . And she was treated as such.
Sure this had been the first time she was kidnapped. But still what was another traumatic experience to add to her list? Maybe she should run a bingo card on her poor luck?
She could do nothing but try and avoid her issues. If there was one thing she was good at it was sweeping the elephant in the room under the rug and pretending it did not exist. She could do it with her growing feeling for the hero so why not with her trauma too?
Speaking of said hero Aoi paused in the sweeping she had been doing as the noise from the television grabbed her attention. Izuku's smiling face filled the screen. He had just caught some villain. He was currently unhurt. His glove covered hand was shyly rubbing the fluffy green curls on the back of his head as he answered some question that the news anchor had asked. She had not been paying it a lot of attention and had no idea what had been told to Izuku. She was simply enjoying the sound of his voice filling the otherwise silence of the apartment.
She had always hated watching the news. It only ever showed off things that she could never have. People with strong quirks, both villains and hero's, matters that could never affect her. Hero rankings, celebrity gossip. Who was doing who, who was caught cheating? Or who ended up in some scandal related to illegal acts? She never cared. And if it wasn't that then the news was showing off distraction. Villain attacks that would flatten block after block, or a natural disaster somewhere that claimed innocent lives. Why did she want to listen to either of those things every day? She didn't want to. And so she never bothered to watch the news before now.
But now she watched the news just so she could wait till she heard his voice. Even if it was threw the television, his voice brought her a moment of comfort. When had she become so soft? So dependent? He was a drug she felt addicted to and she would take any hit of him that she could get.
She felt stupid for having such feelings. Izuku would never return such feelings to someone like her. Why would he? He could have any model he wanted, or some other hero who would understand him. Or maybe some fan of his that would bow down to him and treat him like a god. Not some quirkless idiot who was full of trauma, hated hero's, and treated him like shit.
Yet the little devil on her shoulder reminded her that the man was clearly innocent. The way he could never look at her if she was in only a t-shirt and her panties. The way his cheeks would flush so heavily his freckles would disappear. Or the way he was just as shocked as she had been the one time he caught her in a towel making a run for her bedroom. He was always respectful to her. His eyes looking away when he felt she was indecent, his hands never touching her unless he felt like he was helping her out. Such as when he picked her up and carried her back to the apartment after her tumble on that damn treadmill. Or the way he had massaged her sore body after. He had never groped her, never said anything sexist or rude. He had been nothing but a gentleman the entire time she had known him.
The fact she could sleep in the same apartment and had never once even thought that she could someday wake up to find him forcing himself on top of her was a shocking realization. She could eat his cooking and not fear it was laced with drugs. This was a realization that sat heavy in her stomach. He had so many opportunities to do something to her. And yet he never had. And she bet the idea to do something to her never crossed his mind.
The man was truly a hero. It was a vast difference from what she was used to. It had not been that long ago that she would never have truly trusted anyone. For her, danger had lurked in every corner, every shadow. Her world was nothing like his. Reminding herself of that helped remind her that this man only knew one thing. How to be a hero.
With the news now going off about something else she was able to pull her mind from the spiral it had taken as she started to sweep up the floor once more so she could then wash it after. Cleaning the house had not taken long. Between her doing so every day and Izuku being a very clean person himself she found herself with lots of time just sitting on the couch. Watching the new's waiting for her next fix of her addiction.
She still wanted to repay him for his kindness. How though was proving to be tricky. Sure she cleaned the apartment while he was gone. But she did that more as a way to curb her boredom than to keep his home clean. She started cooking meals again for him like she had before. But once again she was hungry and would have cooked for herself in the evenings whether he was home to eat with her or not. Especially as she often skipped breakfast and lunch when he was gone. She had even one day ventured down to the small personal gym. Though she avoided the stupid treadmill like it had offended her, then again in her mind the damn thing had.
Having no money made it hard to buy him a gift to show her appreciation. Even if she did have money it's not like she could leave to go shopping. Sure she could shop online but she hated that. She had never done online shopping in the past and so did not enjoy it. She also liked being able to physically see what she was buying. Maybe she had some trust issues as well and did not trust that what she would buy would be what she wanted, expected or was promised.
It did not matter though, no going outside meant she had no job and no job meant no money. That left her with no real options any more. What else could she do? She could run a bath for him once he gets home. Then again the thought of her standing in front of the door waiting for him to get home so she could run him a bath made her feel a little bit too much like a wife. That made her cheeks flush. She did not exactly know how to feel about that.
With a shake of her head she pushed that thought away. She had finished sweeping and with nothing else to do till dinner she sat on the couch watching the news in hopes she would see Izuku again. Still trying to decide what else she could do, what else did she have? Well she did still have her body. Glancing down at her bare legs that were visible with the sleep shorts she was still wearing from her sleep the night before she wondered. Would it even be worth it? Being the number one hero Izuku could have anyone. She had seen people throw themselves at him on tv. Fan's, models, other hero's, there was surely no one in Japan who would say no if Deku asked them out, or to his bed. What if he rejected her? Then again he probably would. But he has also been stuck living with her the last few weeks and not once had he invited anyone, male or female into the apartment who were not his friends and all of which were already in relationships or married.
He could be getting some sex while he is out of the apartment. She can't deny that's possible. He works so much she would never know if his odd extra late evening shift was actually him working or him off getting laid. No with how innocent and easy to fluster he was she doubted that he was off galavanting around to get laid.
Her sugar cookie was too innocent. It was part of what she loved about him. She loved how red his face gets when she opens her bedroom door while she's wearing only a shirt and panties. Yep her mind was set. Had it been anyone else the thought of trading sex for anything would have been disgusting. But for him it was an easy decision. He was kind and would not take advantage of her, he would not force her to do anything she would not want to, and well it helped he was pretty damn hot. Who would say no to a Greek God who is a complete gentleman? She wouldn't if he asked. But he was too nice. Also she could imagine the poor man would turn into a stuttering mess the second he tried to even get the question out of his mouth on if someone would sleep with him.
Her mind was set. She made a nice dinner for when he would get home. Making sure it was his favourite, katsudon. She showered before he got home, making sure everything was washed and shaved. In an odd sense she almost wished she had some makeup to put on. Then again what good would that do her? She had never used anything other than mascara. She wouldn't have any idea how to apply it like most women. So she settled for letting her long hair lay straight and brushed out. Her face all natural, a matching set of panties and bra, nothing fancy they were the same colour. That was the best she could do. She wondered if she should buy herself something more sexy? But then arose the same issue as before. What money would she use? She was really hating this being broke thing.
Then she was looking for a decent top. She had been lounging around a lot in her old oversized t-shirts and leggings or sleep shorts. This time she pulled out a cute little blouse she had and a pair of jeans. This was pretty much her best clothes. She usually wore this outfit any time she had interviews or needed to be dressed up. And well this felt like the best time to be dressed up as well as she could be.
With that all done all she could do was wait for the rice to finish cooking and for Izuku to get home. Her heart was racing, the urge to pace was high. It took much longer than it should have before she realized it was nerves that had her feeling so antsy. What if he did not want her? Then again would it be so bad if he told her no? Yes, that thought made her feel even more worried. This was a bad idea.
The sound of keys at the door seconds before it opened and she could hear that voice she felt addicted to calling out.
"I am home," yeah she was a fucking moron. She couldn't do this. She was an idiot for thinking this was a good idea. Sure she was no virgin but the idea of sex ruining what she already had suddenly had her too scared to follow her plans. What if he was offended? What if he kicked her out? She knew Izuku would probably never do that. But still he could. Or maybe it was worse if he didn't. She could have to share this apartment with a man who no longer felt comfortable around her and who would avoid her or stop talking to her. He could work even more hours if he wanted to and then she would never see him. And she could not do that.
She felt horrible coming to the realization she did not think she could do it any more. Even as she listened to Izuku rambling his happy head off as he talked to her from the genkan while he was switching from his red sneakers to his slippers. He seemed to notice quickly that she had not replied to whatever he had been saying as he quickly walked into the kitchen where she had been standing staring intensely at the food she was midway plating.
"Aoi?" He asked as he reached out to place one of his large scarred hands on her shoulder. She jumped at the content but quickly smiled widely at him.
"Oh welcome home Izuku," she said as she gave him a warm greeting as if she had not been caught just about having a small mini panic attack.
He stood there for a second. An eye brow arched at her in a silent question as to try and get his unasked question across to her. And she could almost read his mind. He was asking her if everything was okay, without actually asking her. She hated it when he asked over and over again if she was okay. And in turn he had started to silently arch an eyebrow at her, maybe even tilt his head a little like a confused puppy.
When she did not outright answer his unasked question, would he then finally voice it. "Is everything okay?"
"Oh yeah I was just deep in thought was all," she said simply as she continued to plate their food.
"Oh? What had you so occupied that you didn't even greet me when I called out?" He asked, sounding so completely innocent. Oh he was too nice for his own good. But now she needed a lie to come up with.
"Oh uhm I just need a few things. But I don't wanna ask you to get them. I then was wondering if one of the boxes in my room had my wallet in it. And if there was any chance I still had some money in it," she said quickly spewing out the first lie that came to her mind. Though it was not a complete lie, she has been thinking over this issue on and off lately. Her shampoo is almost out. Her razor had seen better days and she was surprised it was not rusting yet. She kind of wished she had money for an actual cute and sexy pair of panties.
"Oh was that it?" He asked with a blink of his eyes at her before a wide and almost relieved look crossed his face.
"Well let me know what you need and I can buy it for you," he offered just as she expected.
"Uhm well a few things are a little bit personal," she said softly as her own cheeks flushed and she glanced away as she finished filling the plates with food and moved to carry what she could towards the table. It seemed to take Izuku a full minute before he understood what she meant. Though his mind went to feminine products. Though she could also use more of those she was thinking more so the underwear he did not need to be forced to buy for her.
"Oh uhm okay. Well then if that's the case I can give you a card and you can go buy what you need yourself," he said his almost entire face turned red as she placed the plates of food down in their designated places on the table and had even grabbed them each a glass of water before he spoke up.
"Is that okay? Me taking one of your cards, but also me leaving to go get stuff?" She asked as she paused before sitting down.
"I'll just ask someone to go with you. Maybe Ochako will be free some time soon and could take you out," he offered, which she paused to think over. She felt guilty needing him to pay for her stuff. She would still have to go look for her wallet. Maybe she would have a few yen left.
"I feel bad using your money and bothering your friends with having to babysit me," she says softly before she moves to drop herself into her chair.
"It's no problem at all. I am happy to buy you anything you need. You just need to ask. And I bet Ochako would love to take you shopping. She really likes you. So just the two of you out and about could be a good chance to get to know each other better," he said as he sat down in his own chair and finally looked down to take in the food she had made before his face seemed to grow even happier, if that was even possible as he nearly jumped for joy like a child, "oh yay katsudon."
He was so easy to please. Cook his favourite food, ask him about his day and he was a rambling happy idiot. Throw on some old All Might show on the tv and he was almost like a toddler drawn into the fight scenes and bright colours. So easy to please and yet in the end she chickened out. Stuck beside him she didn't even pay the All Might movie any attention. She just smiled and watched Izuku as he geeked out over the show he had clearly seen more times than he could count.
She was a fucking love sick moron with no spine.