They laid side by side under the fuzzy blanket, legs tangled under the blanket and bodies sweat soaked and hearts racing. They slept for hours instead of studying. Harry's head was on Cedric's chest, feeling his heart race like a rabbit. A knock at the door startled them, quickly dressing themselves by mumbling charms and fingers fastening buttons they fixed the bed and stashed the alcohol under the bed so that Cedric's dad wouldn't see it.
"I hope you boys are studying in there." Mr Diggory said from the other side.
"Yes, dad we're studying. You can come in if you want." Cedric replied smartly.
Mr Diggory unlocked the door, snacks in hand and bottles of homemade lemonade, placing the food and drinks on the bedside table he gave the boys a funny look. "I made snacks if you two are hungry."
"Thanks dad."
"You're welcome, let me know if you guys need anything else. I'll be downstairs if you need me." He winked and closed the door behind him.
Harry and Cedric grew scared that Mr Diggory somehow knew what was going on between them, reaching for the snacks Cedric crunched and munched on the nuts while studying. He gently placed a hand on Harry's thigh and thought about how he was going to ask this question delicately.
"Harry?"
"Yes, Cedric what do you want?" Harry mumbled as he wrote down notes for potions class. Cedric reached out to stop Harry from writing down another sentence and looked deeply into his eyes.
"Can I ask you something?"
Harry sighed and nodded his head.
"Did it hurt?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Harry grumbled and continued to write, frowning to himself Cedric slammed a book on Harry's thigh, making everything spill everywhere. Harry's head jolted up and he gave Cedric the death stare. Cedric stared back and didn't back down from Harry's piercing blue eyes, but his was no match for this much intensity.
"Don't play dumb with me, I'm not that stupid you know." Cedric warned he harshly tugged Harry's wrist towards him and tugged up the sleeve "Did self-harming hurt?" he added softly while tracing his fingertips along the rough surface of Harry's scared body. Shivering at the softness of Cedric's touch harry couldn't help but let Cedric trace his fingertips more along his scars.
"Harry, you can't avoid this conversation forever." Cedric said gently and continued to stroke Harry's scars. When Cedric stopped Harry quickly sat up from the bed and gathered his things, heading towards the door he chewed his lip before saying "I can't do this anymore."
"Do what?" Cedric asked and scratched his head in confusion and tried to stop Harry from leaving. He stepped forward and caught Harry by the wrist, tugging Harry closer to his body Cedric forced Harry to look him in the eyes.
"This." Harry pointed between them. "I can't do us."
"But what about are moment?" Cedric asked sadly and let Harry go from his vice like grip.
Harry didn't look at Cedric at all, his answer was going to be heartbreaking, and it would destroy Cedric from the inside out. He sucked air through his teeth before saying the bitter words.
"You're a nice person Cedric, and I'm sure that some lucky man will love you someday. There are plenty of kind souls out there, and… and." Harry could feel the tears coming on he clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms until his palms bled. He managed to say his last words to Cedric in a rush "And I'm not the kind soul, I'm a horrible person and I don't deserve you or your forgiveness."
Cedric couldn't believe what he was hearing, how could Harry call himself an unkind soul and person?
"Harry, please don't say that about yourself. It's not kind."
Harry was about to leave Cedric by himself to deal with his own shit, but Cedric couldn't let that happen. He hobbled over to the door, blocking the way out with his bad leg. Harry let out a frustrated groan and tried to get past. "Cedric, move I'm not in the mood." Cedric shook his head and stayed put "Not until you tell me what's going on." Cedric stamped his foot and winced in pain. Harry crossed his arms over his chest and gave Cedric a annoyed look.
"I can't do this with you." Harry said and chewed his lip while trying to move Cedric's body with all his might. Instantly Cedric felt his heart shatter into a million little pieces at Harry's words, drying the invisible tears away from the corner of his eyes with his wrist. "What do you mean you can't do this with me?" his voice cracked, and his lips wobbled as he said the words. Harry mumbled something that sounded like "I'm not ready."
Cedric wanted to know exactly what Harry mumbled. He laid a hand on his shoulder and patted it gently "Harry, you know I don't like it when you mumble." He glared at Harry and held his hand, raising Harry's hand to his lips Cedric delicately pressed his lips on Harry's hand, secretly hoping that the gesture will change his mind. Harry didn't say a word, only staring wide eyed at Cedric he inhaled deeply and that was it for Cedric.
"Cedric, I'm not ready to fall back in love with you." Harry silently whispered to the chilly room. Cedric's heart stopped entirely at Harry's brutal words. There was no way in hell this was happening to him, in a million years he thought that this would happen to him.
But it did.
Cedric didn't like it at all, this never happened to him before, so he didn't know what heart break felt like - until now.