Title: Great Ideas
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Year 2 Assignment: 2
Task: brewing & distilling task 2
Prompt: write about someone losing their clothes (in any capacity)
Gotta Catch 'Em All: number 302, Sableye, dark
Prompt: [object] broken glass
Jurassic Park: Gigantosaurus, extra security
Prompt: [word] trashed
Disney Magic: The Aristocats, number 5
Prompt: [plot point] write about being lost
Diagon Alley Adoption Centre: Crookshanks the Kneazle
Prompt: [character] Sirius Black
Fandom Frenzy: Dune, number 2
Prompt: [setting] desert
Bucket List: number 18, ask Bex for a prompt of your favourite type
Prompt: [Dialogue] "What in Merlin's name are you doing?"
National Rubber Ducky Day: orange ducks, number 5, Echo
Prompt: [emotion] confused
Mini Pinatas: pinata 4
Prompt: [restriction] only 2 characters
Fireworks Display: sparklers, number 4
Prompt: [action] winking
Rage Room: portrait of the Black family
Prompt: [character] any member of the black family
Writing club
Character Appreciation: number 2
Prompt: [appearance] dark hair
The Forecast says: 2nd
Prompt: "I just wanted to have some fun."
Music Mayhem: number 3, Lucky
Prompt: [word] humbled
Days of the Year: number 17, National classy day
Prompt: write about a member of the Black family or the Malfoy family
Prime Time: number 8
Prompt: [word] trouble
The Menagerie on Discord
Weekly Writing Challenge: 20.1.25
Prompts: [word] pieces
Word count: 1540
Sirius opened his eyes and groaned as the bright sunlight assaulted his senses. His head was pounding and it felt like there were a thousand drummers each beating their drum to their own tune inside his head. The bright sunlight was not helping. He screwed his eyes shut and draped his arm over his eyes, shielding them from the light and bringing merciful darkness. He lay there for several minutes until his head stopped throbbing and the headache abated to a dull ache. Slowly he began to move his arm away from his face. He instantly regretted that decision as the bright sunlight was searingly warm against his eyelids. He needed to get up and find Remus. Remus would make him a headache potion. Hell, Remus likely had some made already. Remus was always organised.
He reached out his arm to find his wand from his bedside table. Everything felt coarse and gritty. What in Godric's name did he drink last night? Or more importantly, what did he do when he got home? He remembered going out and he remembered switching to Firewhisky, against Remus' advice that Sirius never fared well on Firewhisky. He could remember the first burning swallow, but after that it was all a blank. He turned over in his bed to search for his wand again. This would be much easier if it wasn't so bright and he could open his eyes. Even his bed felt coarse and gritty. Shielding his eyes with his arm again, he opened his eyes the tiniest fraction and squinted about.
Shit!
This was not his bedroom.
This wasn't anyone's bedroom!
He was outside!
He sat bolt upright, ignoring the throbbing of his head and still shielding his eyes and squinting he looked about. Bright, warm, sunshine washed over him.
The heat of the sun, and the fact it was even visible in January told him he wasn't even in Britain!
What the fuck did he do last night?
He looked about for his wand and found it half buried in the sand next to him. It took him several moments to realise that he was clearly in the middle of a desert. What desert he had no idea. He had no recollection of how he got here, nor of anything leading up to it. It was several more minutes before he realised that he was naked. There was no sign of his clothes in the surrounding area either. What had he been doing last night?
He ran a hand through his dark hair, before quickly withdrawing his hand. Several drops of bright red blood splashed onto the sand beside him. He tapped the cut with his wand, instantly healing it. Carefully, he reached his hand back up to his hair and withdrew a shard of broken glass from his hair.
Sirius ducked as a bottle of beer smashed against the wall behind him, drenching his hair and shirt with beer.
He stared at the shard of glass in his hand but no further memories came back to him. He couldn't even work out who threw the bottle at him. Surely not Remus? It was all very confusing. He'd obviously been very drunk. He'd been drunk before but he didn't think he'd ever been this trashed before? Not even on James' stag do.
"You're drunk," Remus said.
"I…I…are pre…prefectly so…sober," Sirius winked at Remus.
"You're wasted."
"Sober."
"Trashed. Hammered. Blootered. Intoxicated. Inebriated. Plastered. Three sheets to the wind. Sozzled. Legless. Bladdered. Take your pick."
"I may be a bit squiffy."
"You're as pissed as a fart, Sirius."
"I just wanted to have some fun."
He staggered to his feet a little unsteadily and the room– or desert– spun. Too quick. He got up too quickly. He felt sick. He tried not to vomit but everything was still spinning, albeit slower now. It was too much. He vomited into the sand and instantly felt a lot better, even if his head still ached but he could think more clearly now. He was in trouble. He still didn't know where he was or how he got there. No doubt Remus had told him whatever he was planning to do was a bad idea. Remus always thought his ideas were bad ideas. What fun would life be if he didn't make the occasional bad decision? Of course, Remus would likely think it was more than the occasional bad decision but that was neither here nor there at the moment. What was wholly apparent at this moment in time was the fact that it was incredibly sunny in a desert. His arms were already slightly red from exposure and he didn't much care for sunburn on arms let alone anywhere more sensitive. First things first, he needed some clothes. He gave his wand a complicated twirl and conjured up some clothes for himself and quickly dressed in the jeans and shirt he'd conjured up.
"What in Merlin's name are you doing?" Remus asked with a frown as he watched Sirius stripping off his clothes and tossing them onto the beach.
"What's it look like, Remy? I'm undressing my clothes off," Sirius slurred.
"You're undressing your clothes off?" Remus asked bemused.
"It's what I said."
"May I ask why?"
"Swimming!" Sirius exclaimed, pointing to the sea.
"Swimming?"
"Yes, we're going swimming."
"We're not going swimming."
"I'll myself then," grinned Sirius staggering as he made his way to the sea and fell over in the sand.
"It's a very bad idea, Sirius," Remus said seriously.
"'Snot!"
"It's January, Sirius. The water will be freezing and you're drunk. Swimming drunk is the worst idea in the history of worst ideas that you've ever had."
Sirius was more confused than ever. The little bits and pieces of memory that were coming back to him raised more questions than they answered, but at least it looked like Sirius knew why he was naked. Surely, Remus wouldn't have let him go swimming drunk. It seemed likely that the shard of glass in hair would have been washed out if he'd gone in the water. But it still didn't explain why he was in the desert. Or how he would get home. He scratched his head and looked about. There was a large sand dune a short way off, maybe if he climbed that he might be able to see a town or a village or something. Surely, he couldn't have ended up in the middle of a desert without having started in some sort of settlement. Panting and sweating in the heat he climbed to the top of the dune to see… nothing! No village, no towns, no settlement of any description and nothing to be seen in any direction for miles except sand, sand and more sand and curiously, a teapot.
Remus deposited Sirius on the sofa of their flat.
"It's cold," Sirius said, through chattering teeth.
"That's what happens when you go skinny dipping in January and then throw your clothes into the water and refuse to let me conjure any up for you!" Remus huffed, pointing his wand at the fireplace and a roaring fire sprung to life.
"Seemed like a good idea at the time," Sirius said, shrugging and Remus rolled his eyes. "I'm cold."
"Here," Remus said, tossing a blanket at Sirius. "Stay put. I'm going to make you a cup of tea."
Sirius extracted himself from the blanket but Remus had already left the room. He returned with a teapot and a mug.
"Drink that. I'm going to run a bath to help you get warm," Remus said, placing the teapot and mug on the table beside Sirius before turning to leave the room.
"Remus?"
"Yeah?"
"You're the best!"
"And you're an idiot," Remus added with another roll of his eyes before he left the room.
Sirius took hold of the teapot. It was nice and warm and he was so cold. He felt like Antarctica and the teapot was like the sun. Well, like the sun in a desert. A desert! A desert would be lovely and warm. Egypt was in a desert and Egypt was warm. He tapped the teapot with his wand and it glowed with a blue light momentarily before it faded. Reaching out Sirius took hold of the teapot and there was a jerk behind his naval.
Sirius picked up the teapot and stared at it. Unbelievably, it still had the remains of the tea that Remus had made for him. Remus who had gone to run him a bath and would have returned to find Sirius missing. He must be frantic with worry about Sirius. Maybe Remus had a point. Maybe most of his ideas were foolhardy. This one certainly had been since Remus would be worried and had likely spent all night searching for Sirius. He was going to have to do something really nice for Remus to make up for this one. After Remus had humbled him with his chastisement of course.
Sirius sighed and tapped the teapot with his wand which glowed blue once more. Holding tight to the teapot Sirius waited until the Portkey activated and he felt the familiar tug behind the naval as he was jerked forward towards home and an irate Remus.