Chapter 75: Fun At Privet Drive
Sunday morning came quickly. We were getting Harry today, and I couldn't have been more excited. Hermione had been brilliant (when she wasn't being stolen away by Ginny), but I needed my other best mate around.
"You've got the room decent, I gather?" said Mum at breakfast. Harry was sleeping in my room as usual.
"Yes, Mum. Bed set up and everything." I said as I ate my cereal.
"And is the room clean?"
"Mum..."
"Didn't look cleaned when we peeked in this morning, did it Hermione?" laughed Ginny, making me groan even more.
"That's because you and your partner in crime decided to bloody drown me this morning!"
"Hey, I tried to stop her, Ron." protested Hermione.
"No you didn't." Ginny and I said at the same time.
"Well whatever the three of you are arguing about, it better be cleaned up before it's time to retrieve Harry." said Mum sternly. "Just because you live in a sty, doesn't mean he has to."
"Technically he does live in a sty, with that pig of a cousin and uncle of his." I mumbled.
George, Ginny, Fred, and Hermione overheard me. All except Hermione, laughed.
"Oh Ron, don't talk about them that way." said Hermione, trying to feel some sort of sympathy for the Dursleys.
"I'm just stating facts, Mione."
"Your facts could be a bit kinder."
"Just as kind as they are towards Harry, right?" I snapped.
"I know they are horrid to him, but that doesn't make you have to be horrid back." harped Hermione.
"Well I'm not going to sit around and pretend to like them like a fake git!"
"Are you calling me a fake git?!"
"If the shoe fits! You don't like them either!"
"I absolutely despise them! That does not mean I'm going to stoop to their level!"
"As amusing as this display is, can you two please pipe down?" chimed in Fred's voice out of nowhere.
"Yes, its putting me off of my eggs." said George, smiling from ear to ear.
Mum didn't say anything. She just gave us a weird look.
We had to wait until Dad got home from work to retrieve Harry. He got home around 5:20, thirty minutes after we were supposed to be at Privet Drive.
"Quickly, Ron." he said, putting his briefcase down. " I was delayed trying to get the Dursley's fireplace connected to the network for the afternoon."
"Can we go?" came Fred and George's eager voices.
"Fine, fine."
"Coming, Hermione?" I asked, knowing she was still a bit cross with me. Hermione simply glared at me, then back at the book she was reading.
"Okay, I'll Floo over first." said Dad, gathering up some powder. "Then one of you two come, then the next, and Ron you bring up the rear, okay?"
My dad disappeared in the green flames, followed by Fred, and then George.
"Try to be nice." groaned Hermione.
"You're telling the wrong person, I can assure you." I said, winking at her, making her grin.
I went through the flames and came out on top of Dad and the twins, who seemed out of sorts.
"Ouch, Ron!"
"What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?"
"Oh no, Ron," said Fred with a very sarcastic tone. "No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up."
"Yeah, we're having the time of our lives here," said George, muffled because he was against the wall.
"Boys, boys..." said Dad vaguely as he whipped out his wand. "I'm trying to think what to do...Yes...only way...Stand back, Harry."
I heard the shuffling of feet on the other side of the wall. Then a voice that sounded like a whale.
"Wait a moment! What exactly are you going to -"
BANG!
The what now appeared boarded-up fireplace burst outward, expelling Dad, Fred, George, and I in a cloud of rubble and loose chippings. A woman shrieked as we stood up.
"That's better," panted Dad, brushing dust from his long green robes and straightening his glasses. "Ah - you must be Harry's aunt and uncle!"
He moved toward Harry's humpback of an uncle, his hand outstretched, but the man backed away several paces, dragging his stick figure of a wife with him. He looked as if he had been insulted.
"Er - yes - sorry about that," said Dad lowering his hand and looking over his shoulder at the blasted fireplace. "It's all my fault. It just didn't occur to me that we wouldn't be able to get out at the other end. I had your fireplace connected to the Floo Network, you see - just for an afternoon, you know, so we could get Harry. Muggle fireplaces aren't supposed to be connected, strictly speaking - but I've got a useful contact at the Floo Regulation Panel and he fixed it for me. I can put it right in a jiffy, though, don't worry. I'll light a fire to send the boys back, and then I can repair your fireplace before I Disapparate."
Harry looked pleasantly amused by the whole situation.
"Hello, Harry!" said Dad brightly. "Got your trunk ready?"
"It's upstairs," said Harry, grinning back.
"We'll get it," said Fred at once. Winking at Harry, he and George left the room. They knew where Harry's bedroom was, from the rescue second year. I figured that they were hoping for a glimpse of Dudley, as Harry had told them about him but they had never seen him in person.
"Well," said Dad as he swung his arms awkwardly. "Very - erm - very nice place you've got here."
He looked over at Harry's telly. "They run off eckeltricity, do they? Ah yes, I can see the plugs. I collect plugs and batteries. Got a very large collection of batteries. My wife thinks I'm mad, but there you are."
Harry's uncle looked like he thought my father to be mad. He moved ever so slightly to the right, screening his almost invisible if she turned sideways wife from view, as though he thought Dad might suddenly run at them and attack. Or give the last a sandwich. She certainly needed one.
"Alright there, Harry? I said, giving him what Bill and Charlie called "men hugs".
"Fine, you?"
"Brilliant." I said, trying not to laugh.
Harry's cousin Dudley rolled into the room, the sounds of Harry's trunk on the stairs must have scared him out of hiding. Dudley edged along the wall, gazing at my dad with terrified eyes, and attempted to conceal himself behind his mother and father. Unfortunately, his uncle couldn't hide him, what with being almost as big as the room.
"Ah, this is your cousin, is it, Harry?" said Dad taking another brave stab at making conversation.
"Yep," said Harry, "that's Dudley."
He and I exchanged glances and then quickly looked away from each other; the temptation to burst out laughing was almost overwhelming. Dudley was clutching his ass like he was afraid to lose it for some reason.
Dad seemed genuinely concerned at Dudley's behavior. "Having a good holiday, Dudley?" he said kindly.
Dudley whimpered. I had to bite at my lip to keep from laughing.
Fred and George came back into the room carrying Harry's school trunk. They glanced around as they entered and spotted Dudley. Their faces cracked into identical evil grins.
"Ah, right," said Dad. "Better get cracking then."
He pushed up the sleeves of his robes and took out his wand. The Dursleys draw back against the wall as one.
"Incendio!" said Dad, pointing his wand at the hole in the wall behind him.
Flames rose at once in the fireplace. Dad took a small drawstring bag from his pocket, untied it, took a pinch of the powder inside, and threw it onto the flames, which turned emerald green and roared higher than ever.
"Off you go then, Fred."
"Coming," said Fred. "Oh no - hang on -"
A bag of sweets had spilled out of Fred's pocket and the contents were now rolling in every direction - big, fat toffees in brightly colored wrappers.
Fred scrambled around, cramming them back into his pocket, then gave the Dursleys a cheery wave, stepped forward, and walked right into the fire, saying "the Burrow!" There was a whooshing sound, and Fred vanished.
"Right then, George, you and the trunk."
Harry helped George carry the trunk forward into the flames and turn it onto its end so that he could hold it better. Then, with a second whoosh, George had cried "the Burrow!" and vanished too.
"Ron, you next," said Mr. Weasley.
"See you," I said brightly to the Dursleys. I grinned broadly at Harry, then stepped into the fire, shouted "the Burrow!" and disappeared.
When I appeared back at home, I seen Fred and George snickering.
"What did you two do?" I said while laughing.