A/N: The shortest chapter yet! This is what each chapter is supposed to be like instead of... Well, you'll see.

DADDY'S HOME!

So far, Charlie had an overall negative view about Valentino. From what she had seen, he was generally dismissive of his employees at best, and the two naked girls that he cuddled with did not look comfortable in the least.

It would not be a stretch to say that she thought that Valentino was a terrible person who absolutely deserved his place in hell.

And then he licked her arm.

Charlie froze for a second. She could feel the drugs seeping into her skin, and horror crawled up her spine. Not for herself, no; She was half-angel; Any and all drugs would simply be burned away. The horror was from her realizing how a majority of his soul contracts would have been formed. Even Angel Dust.

Disgust filled her systems unlike ever before. It choked her, making her feel like throwing up.

There was a flash, and all of a sudden, a warm feeling enveloped her.

"Soooo," A voice said from behind her. "Anyone care to explain what's happening here?"

Charlie turned around, noticing that Valentino's eyes widened dramatically.

"Dad?!"

Behind her stood Lucifer Morningstar, the One With Might Above All Under God, the traitor of heaven, the first to fall, the serpent, the trickster.

The Devil.

He stood amidst them with all three sets of wings fully extended, his holy aura boiling the flesh of any sinner that got too close.

"Hmm," Lucifer said, grabbing Charlie's arm, which still had Valentino's drool on it. "Aphrodisiacs, drugs, poisons, blah blah blah. Along with a not insignificant amount of Valentino's DNA."

His gaze fell upon Valentino.

"Did you just lick my daughter and try to drug her?"

"Your majesty," Valentino said, laying the smarm on thick. "We were simply discussing a potential….. Partnership. One which could prove to be very beneficial."

"I see," Lucifer said, cracking his neck to each side. "Well then, let me show you something I don't show many people."

Valentino looked very eager, while Charlie was panicking.

"No, dad, please don't!"

"Quiet, dear. I admire the mercy you show, but this is too far over the line."

Valentino suddenly gained self-awareness, realizing that the King of Hell was not rewarding him.

But it was too late. Lucifer floated up, until his head was a foot above Valentino's.

The overlord was frozen in place, and his skin began to burn.

"Look at me!" Lucifer growled, and Valentino's eyes began to bleed.

Demons were reflections of human evil, and were thus limited by the human mind.

Angels, however, were cosmic beings, born from the womb of creation. Their existence predated time itself.

Looking upon the true form of an Angel could destroy the human mind.

And what Valentino was seeing was the greatest of the Angels, in all his true, horrific glory.

"B̵̰͂͊̍͛̌͗̕̚e̸̢̺̝͉͚͖̦͋̑̅͆̀́̒̈̓͊͋̉̈́͘̕͘͘͜͠͝͝ ̵̧͓̼͍̗͍̯͙̜͉̰͈̩̙̩̮͍͗̀̎̿͊͐͐Â̸̢̡̢̬̻̯͇̘̦̮̩̟̎̅͋͊́͛͂̏̔̈̓͒͗̆̕͜͠f̶̢̡̥͈̟̪̣͙̿̉̀̍͗ͅȓ̸̨̨̧̨̜̥̼̪͚̖̜͓̼͉̬̝̹̠͔̐̋̈́̒̅͂͂͂̾̈́̆́́̌̊́̕͝ͅa̵̧͕͚̥̬̬̜̟͙͚̗̯̻̘͈̭̼̔̎̈́̃͛̈́̄̓͐̔̂̍̉̐͝͝͝i̵̧̼̠̪̺̜̱͊͌̈́͐͑̈́̅̐̀́̀̌͐̓̓̇̆d̴̛̳̟̰̝̟͍̺̒̍̈͐̿̏͊̉͗̚,̶̦̯̜̱̖̼͚̼̂" Lucifer said, his unearthly voice audible to Valentino and Charlie only. " ̸̧̛̛̘̘͈͚̭̣̩̥̰̥̥̦̪̻̮̈́̓̈́̀̊̅̒̑̉͗̕͝͝B̶̧̼̜͈̘̆́͛́͊̀͆͗͗̋͐̀͛͌̑̔͐̀̈́ę̸̛̫̥̱͈̥̱̣̪̭̙̙͓͓͂͑̇̈́̍͝ͅͅ ̶̛̠̲͇͓̼̙̥́͒̾͆͘͝v̵̼̘̖̲̬̠̜͉̬͊̚ȩ̸̭̗̮̱̭̗͕͕̦̺̓͊͐̉ͅṟ̵̮͕̫̖̝̪̞͍̉͊͑̊̓̌̑̽̄̿̌̀́̍͐͝͝y̷̫̹͕̜͉͕̫͎̳̺͔̳̲̝̯͕̿͛͜ͅ ̷̢̧̧̡͖͔͈̫̟̝̦͇̤͕̳͚̪̳́̆̂̇̔̊̏́́͌̍̄̉́͝͠ͅͅm̵̢̦̭̞͓͎̭̦͎̤̟̫͂̇̏͜͠ͅͅủ̴̺̯͓͖̘̟͚̮̣̪̲͋́͒͗͌̕c̶̢̛͕͍͓͑́̆̽̿̏̂̾̓͑ͅh̷͕͐̄͊͛̓̇̀͋̊̈͂̓̀͒͗̅͊̓̚͝ ̴̢͕̏̀̈́́̓̏͆͘͜͝A̵͈̣̱͕͖̯̲̗̦͐̍͌̅̍̑̊́̃̽̍͌̀̅̋̆̇͜f̵̡̡̞̖̝̹͇͖̤̜͖̺̼̙̊̔̈̈́̒́̎̈́̅r̴̡̢̢͙̦̼̱̯̙̮̹͚͍̪̻͔͓̗͚͘͜a̵̛̱̰̱͔͙̥̖͒̈́̐͑̀̆͗̕ì̵͈͚̳̖̰̎́̈͐̈̌̈́̈́̊̄̐̈́̄͠͝ḏ̸̡̛͈̰̹̣̙̮̗̫̀̐́͗́͆̑̈́̅̏́͒̓͌͂͝.̴̧̙̰̬͙̽̚"

The moment passed, and as soon as Valentino's mind returned to his body, he lost it. He screamed, bashing his head into a wall and physically trying to rip his own brain out.

And as soon as he did so, he began to regenerate. As soon as his brain was reassembled, he automatically ripped it out and ate it.

And thus began the vicious cycle.

"Oh, and all your contracts are null and void."

He snapped his fingers, and the smoky chains around the necks of every employee dissolved into nothing.

"Charlie dear, DON'T let it escalate this far again. This is hell, sweetie, and you've got to mince a few people to get what you want."

Charlie's eyes narrowed.

"I know that this is Hell, dad," She said, small flickers of flame curling through her hair. "But that's no excuse."

Lucifer shrugged, disappearing with a burst of fire that set the studio alight.

Charlie shook her head, ignoring the flames licking at her, and turned towards Angel Dust.

"Angel, are you okay?"

"Okay? OKAY?!" Angel laughed hysterically. "I just had my contract broken with no consequences, and my asshole boss is stuck trying to kill himself! I'm better than okay!"

Behind them, Valentino threw himself into the fire while his hands continued to tear his own body apart.

"Sooo, care for a drink?"

"You bet!"

A/N: Lucifer when he senses his daughter's discomfort - "Your free trial of living has expired!"

Next Chapter: All your souls are belong to us.