Chapter 149: Busted Fireworks
As March faded into April, life was starting to get a bit stressful, especially for Harry.
Umbridge had continued attend in a all Care of Magical Creatures lessons, so it had been very difficult to deliver Firenze's warning to Hagrid. At last, Harry had managed it by pretending he'd lost his copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and doubling back after class one day.
When we met back up, he told Hermione and I how Hagrid was still very vague about what he was doing, and didn't seem to take the warning very seriously, which is what we all figured.
"You tried, mate." I said with a shrug. "You know how Hagrid is."
Meanwhile, as the teachers and Hermione reminded us over and over and over again, the OWLs were drawing ever nearer. All ud fifth-years were suffering from stress to some degree, but Hannah became the first to receive a Calming Draught from Madam Pomfrey after she burst into tears during Herbology and sobbed that she was too stupid to take exams and wanted to leave school now.
If it wasn't for D.A. meetings, life would have been unbearable. Every meeting came happiness, and today was no exception.
We had finally started work on Patronuses, which everybody had been dying to try. Harry kept reminding us that producing a Patronus in the middle of a brightly lit classroom when we were not under threat was very different from producing it when confronted by something like a Dementor.
"Oh, don't be such a killjoy," said Cho brightly, watching her silvery swan-shaped Patronus soar around the Room of Requirement during our last lesson before Easter. "They're so pretty!"
"They're not supposed to be pretty, they're supposed to protect you," said Harry patiently. "What we really need is a boggart or something; that's how I learned, I had to conjure a Patronus while the boggart was pretending to be a Dementor-"
"But that would be really scary!" said Lavender, who was shooting puffs of silver vapour out of the end of her wand. "And I still-can't-do it!"
Neville was having trouble, too. His face was screwed up in concentration, but only feeble wisps of silver smoke issued from his wand tip.
"You've got to think of something happy," Harry reminded him.
"I'm trying," said Neville miserably, who was trying so hard his round face was actually shining with sweat.
'Harry, I think I'm doing it!' yelled Seamus, who had been brought along to his first ever DA meeting by Dean. 'Look-ah-it's gone ... but it was definitely something hairy, Harry!'
Hermione's Patronus, a shining silver otter, was 'swimming' around her,joyfully. I found myself watching how she smiled and interacted with the otter as if it were as real as Crookshanks.
'They are sort of nice, aren't they?' she said, looking at it fondly.
"Expecto Patronum" I muttered, and out shocked a small dog out of my wand. A Jack Russell Terrier. It looked at me and playfully barked without sound. Then, it caught Hermione's patronus in its eyes and began chasing it.
"Ron, look, how cute!" Hermione squealed in delight, as my dog was chasing her otter around as if it were a game.
Suddenly, Dobby had appeared, looking horrified.
"Hi, Dobby!" Harry said. "What are you-What's wrong?"
Hermione and I averted our attention to the trembling house elf, out patronuses disappeared.
"Harry Potter, sir ..." squeaked Dobby, shaking from head to foot, "Harry Potter, sir ... Dobby has come to warn you ... but the house-elves have been warned not to tell ..."
He ran head-first at the wall, punishing himself like Harry told me he used to DL under the Malfoy's ruling.
"What's happened, Dobby?" Harry asked, grabbing Dobby's arm and holding him away from anything with which he might seek to hurt himself.
'Harry Potter ... she ... she ..."
Dobby hit himself hard on the nose with his free fist. Harry seized that, too.
"Who's 'she', Dobby?"
He didn't need to say it. It was easy as hell to figure out who he was referring to.
"Umbridge?" asked Harry, horrified.
Dobby nodded, then tried to bang his head on Harry's knees. Harry held him at arm's length.
'What about her? Dobby-she hasn't found out about this-about us-about the DA? Is she coming?" Harry asked quietly.
Dobby let out a howl, and began beating his bare feet hard on the floor.
"Yes, Harry Potter, yes!"
Harry straightened up and looked around at all of us.
"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" Harry bellowed. "RUN!"
We raced towards the exit at once, pushing through with all our might. It became a crowd of bodies trying desperately to get out and away.
"Harry, come on!" shrieked Hermione from the centre of the knot of people now fighting to get out. However, Harry was concentrating too much on Dobby to pay attention, so I grabbed Hermione's hand and pushed through as hard as I could, knowing people over in the process.
Once we got out, I held fast to Hermione's hand and took off in the direction of the common room.
"Ron wait! What about Harry?!" yelled Hermione.
"He'll be fine, he wouldn't want us caught! Come on!" I said, pulling her even faster.
We kept running. Dean, Seamus, Lavender, Parvati, and the other Gryffindors soon caught up with us. Harry was the only one missing.
"What happened to Harry?!" I asked furiously as we made it into the common room. Hermione and I plopped down onto the couch.
"They caught him, that fucking ferret." said Fred, panting. "Sounded like they took him to Dumbledore."
Hermione and I exchanged worried looks. "That's it, he's done for, we all are. They will make him talk, even of he doesn't want to."
"How did they know?" said Parvati in a frantic voice. "How in the world did they know?"
"Maybe they overheard us?" suggested Seamus.
"No way, that room is soundproof." said Lavender. "Remember the day I came in late? I didn't hear a thing until I stepped into the room, and Ginny had just reductoed something."
"Someone told," said Ginny, plopping down beside George in an armchair. "Someone had to have told."
Hermione looked at all of us in our faces, as if she was searching for something.
"None of us did, that's for sure." said Hermione. "But I'm sure we will definitely find out tomorrow who did it."
Everyone gave Hermione a vacant expression. "How?" we said collectively.
Hermione looked like she was trying to hold back a grin. "In the morning." she said, not even giving a hint to what she was talking about.
Soon, the others went up to bed. Hermione and I stayed up and waited for Harry. I was exhausted, so I took a chance, as Hermione and I were sitting by ourselves.
"Mind if I use you as a pillow?" I asked.
Hermione gave me a look of confusion at first. Then the realization dawned on her and she nodded.
"Brilliant." I said, moving and stretching out on the couch, laying my head on Hermione's thigh. I felt her leg stiffen up under head, then relax a few seconds later. I kept my face towards the ceiling and my eyes closed, trying hard to keep the impure thoughts of the fact that I could very well turn to the right and be face to face with the crotch of Hermione's muggle jeans.
Suddenly, I felt Hermione's fingers brush against the top of my head. I quickly opened my eyes, locking onto her face.
"Sorry..." she mumbled. "I'm nervous, and when I'm nervous, I-"
"-have to move your fingers, I know." I finished for her. "It's fine. It's kind of relaxing."
I closed my eyes again and felt Hermione's fingers in my hair again, only this time with less hesitation. I never knew her playing with my hair could be so satisfying. It wasn't like she hadn't done it before, by something about this time felt different. Maybe it was the fear of us almost getting caught. Maybe it was the anxiousness in not knowing what was going on with Harry. But whatever it was, it felt completely brilliant.
"Do you think Harry will be expelled?" said Hermione in a low and timid voice.
"Nah," I said. "You know Harry gets away with practically everything. Especially when it comes to Dumbledore."
"You're right." said Hermione, trying to reassure herself.
"You've been saying I'm right a lot lately," I joked as I opened my eyes to grin up at her.
"Don't get used to it." she smirked as she looked down at me, her wild curls looking almost like a lion's mane.
I reached up and coiled one of her curls around my finger. "You know, I really like your hair." I said absentmindedly to her.
"Thank you." she whispered, sounding as if she was in another zone as I played with her hair around my finger.
Suddenly the portrait hole opened and Harry came running in. Ruining whatever moment we were having.
As usual.
"Dumbledore's fled!" said Harry, out of breath as if he had ran there. "It was barmy! There were- wait...what are you two doing?"
Harry was giving us an odd expression. My head was still on Hermione's leg and her hair was still around my finger. Her hands her in my hair still as well. I sat up as we quickly composed ourselves.
"We weren't doing anything." Hermione said in a high pitched voice.
"We were just waiting for you." I finished. "Now, what's this about Dumbledore?"
We sat and listened in awe as Harry told us about everything that had went down. How it was that Ravenclaw bitch Marietta Edgecomb that had ratted us out, how Umbridge had alerted the Ministry (my fucking brother included) about it, how Dumbledore had taken the blame for the entire D.A, and how when they tried to arrest him, he disappeared in flames with Fawkes.
"That's bloody amazing!"
"No it's not!" squeaked Hermione. "Do you know what this means?"
"No? But I bet we will find out tomorrow morning." I said.
BY ORDER OF THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC
Dolores Jane Umbridge (High Inquisitor) has replaced
Albus Dumbledore as Head of Hogwarts School of
Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-eight.
Signed: Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Minister for Magic
The notices had gone up all around the school overnight, but they did not explain how every single person within the castle seemed to know that Dumbledore had overcome two Aurors, the High Inquisitor, the Minister for Magic and his Junior Assistant to escape. No matter where we went within the castle, everyone was talking about Dumbledore's flight, and though some of the details may have gone awry in the retelling (we overheard one second-year girl assuring another that Fudge was now lying in St. Mungo's with a pumpkin for a head) it was surprising how accurate the rest of their information was. Everybody knew, for instance, that Harry and Marietta were the only students to have witnessed the scene in Dumbledore's office and, as Marietta was now in the hospital wing, Harry found himself besieged with requests to give a first-hand account.
"Dumbledore will be back before long," said Ernie confidently on the way back from Herbology, after listening intently to Harry's story. "They couldn't keep him away in our second year and they won't be able to this time. The Fat Friar told me-" he dropped his voice conspiratorially, so that Harry, Hermione, and I had to lean closer to him to hear "-that Umbridge tried to get back into his office last night after they'd searched the castle and grounds for him. Couldn't get past the gargoyle. The Head's office has sealed itself against her." Ernie smirked. "Apparently, she had a right little tantrum."
"Oh, I expect she really fancied herself sitting up there in the Head's office," said Hermione viciously, as we walked up the stone steps into the Entrance Hall. "Lording it over all the other teachers, the stupid puffed-up, power-crazy old bi-"
"Now, do you really want to finish that sentence, Granger?" came Ferret Fuck's voice from behind the door, followed by his butt buddies
"Afraid I'm going to have to dock a few points from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff," he smirked.
"It's only teachers who can dock points from houses, Malfoy," said Ernie at once.
"Yeah, we're prefects, too, remember?" I snarled.
"I know prefects can't dock points, Weasel King," sneered Malfoy. Crabbe and Goyle sniggered. "But members of the Inquisitorial Squad-"
"The what?" said Hermione sharply.
"The Inquisitorial Squad, Granger," said Malfoy, pointing towards a tiny silver 'I' on his robes just beneath his prefect's badge. "A select group of students who are supportive of the Ministry of Magic, hand-picked by Professor Umbridge. Anyway, members of the Inquisitorial Squad do have the power to dock points ... so, Granger, I'll have five from you for being rude about our new Headmistress. Macmillan, five for contradicting me. Five because I don't like you, Potter. Weasley, your shirt's untucked, so I'll have another five for that. Oh yeah, I forgot, you're a Mudblood, Granger, so ten off for that.'
I pulled out my wand, ready to hex his ass, but Hermione pushed it away, whispering, "Don't!"
"Wise move, Granger," breathed Malfoy. "New Head, new times ... be good now, Potty ... Weasel King ..."
Laughing heartily, he strode away with Crabbe and Goyle.
"He was bluffing," said Ernie, looking appalled. "He can't be allowed to dock points. That would be ridiculous! It would completely undermine the prefect system."
"Oh yeah?" said Harry, facing the other way. "See for yourself."
The rest of us turned toward the giant hourglasses set in niches along the wall, which recorded the house-points. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw had been neck and neck in the lead that morning. Even as we watched, stones flew upwards, reducing the amounts in the lower bulbs. In fact, the only glass that seemed unchanged was the emerald-filled one of Slytherin.
"Son of a bitch." spat Ernie.
"Noticed, have you?" said Fred's voice.
He and George had just come down the marble staircase and joined us in front of the hour-glasses.
"Malfoy just docked us all about fifty points," said Harry furiously, as we watched several more stones fly upwards from the Gryffindor hour-glass.
"Yeah, Montague tried to do us during break," said George.
"What do you mean, 'tried'?" I asked.
"He never managed to get all the words out," said Fred with a shrug, "due to the fact that we forced him head-first into that Vanishing Cabinet on the first floor."
Hermione gasped. "But you'll get into terrible trouble!"
'Not until Montague reappears, and that could take weeks, I dunno where we sent him," said Fred coolly. "Anyway, we've decided we don't care about getting into trouble any more."
"Have you ever?" asked Hermione, rolling her eyes.
"Course we have," said George. "Never been expelled, have we?"
"We've always known where to draw the line," said Fred.
"We might have put a toe across it occasionally," said George.
"But we've always stopped short of causing real mayhem," said Fred.
"But now?" I said.
"Well, now-" said George.
"-what with Dumbledore gone-"
"-we reckon a bit of mayhem-"
"-is exactly what our dear new Head deserves," finished Fred.
"You mustn't!" whispered Hermione. "You really mustn't! She'd love a reason to expel you!"
"You don't get it, Hermione, do you?" said Fred, smiling at her. "We don't give a fuck about staying any more. We'd walk out right now if we weren't determined to do our bit for Dumbledore first. So, anyway," he checked his watch, "phase one is about to begin. I'd get in the Great Hall for lunch, if I were you, that way the teachers will see you can't have had anything to do with it."
"Anything to do with what?" said Hermione anxiously.
"You'll see," said George. "Run along, now."
Fred and George turned away and disappeared into the crowd.
"I'm gonna go finish my Transfiguration homework.. " mutter Ernie as he walked off.
"I think we should get out of here, you know," said Hermione nervously. "Just in case ..."
"Yeah, all right," I said, even though I wanted to know what they were going to do. As we were entering, Harry got a tap on the shoulder.
"The Headmistress would like to see you, Potter," Filch leered.
"I didn't do it," said Harry quickly. Filch's jowls wobbled with silent laughter.
"Guilty conscience, eh?" he wheezed. "Follow me."
Harry glanced back at Hermione and I, each of us giving him a worried look back. He shrugged, and followed Filch back into the Entrance Hall.
"The bloody hell was that all about?" I said, looking at Hermione.
"Oh no...she's gonna expel him, I know it!" panicked Hermione.
"No she's not, don't be mental" I said, trying to convince both myself and her.
"I'm not being mental! She's gonna kick him out! He will have to go back to the Dursleys and live under the stairs again!" exclaimed Hermione.
I couldn't tell her to calm down, because I was thinking the very same thing, and I myself was trying not to freak out. I pulled Hermione over to the Gryffindor table and passed her a pumpkin juice.
"Drink this and calm the hell down," I said with a bit of force in my voice. "It's going to be alright."
Hermione gulped the juice down and scowled at me. "You really don't know that, Ronald. You know how she feels about him, especially after all of this!"
"Hermione Jean, if you panic, you're going to make me panic, and if I panic, then I'm gonna hit somebody, and if I get somebody, it will be her precious fucker Malfoy, and then I will definitely be expelled, and then you won't have me mor Harry. Do you want that on your conscience?" I said, trying to find anything to make her calm her ass down.
"No." said Hermione in a small voice. She leaned over and laid her forehead on my shoulder, which would have looked awkward and suspicious had I been facing her. I sat stiffly, not wanting to move. I cherished any kind of physical contact that Hermione made. That is, as long as it didn't hurt.
A few minutes later, we were both stunned by a tremendous BOOM. As the floor shook, Hermione sat up straight and looked around quickly, as did I.
"The bloody fuck was that?" I asked. I looked around and could tell other students were thinking the same thing.
Us and the other students as well as teachers rushed to the doors, which were swiftly opened. When we stepped out. It was a sight to behold.
Somebody (more than likely two somebodies) had set off what seemed to be an enormous crate of enchanted fireworks.
Green dragons with gold sparks were soaring up and down the corridors, emitting loud fiery blasts and bangs as they went; shocking-pink Catherine wheels five feet in diameter were whizzing lethally through the air like so many flying saucers; rockets with long tails of brilliant silver stars were ricocheting off the walls; sparklers were writing words like "Fuck Umbitch" and "The Headmistress Is A Cunt" in midair; firecrackers were exploding left and right.
"WICKED!" Dean, Seamus, Neville, and I shouted. Even Hermione couldn't hide the smile that was plastered on her face.
Filch and Umbridge were standing in horror halfway down the stairs. One of the larger Catherine wheels seemed to decide that what it needed was more room to maneuver; it whirled towards Umbridge and Filch with a sinister 'WHEEEEEEEEEE'. They both yelled and ducked, and it soared straight out of the window behind them and off across the grounds. Meanwhile, several of the dragons and a large purple bat took advantage of the open door at the end of the corridor to escape towards the second floor.
"Hurry, Filch, hurry!" shrieked Umbitch, "they'll be all over the school unless we do something-Stupefy!"
A jet of red light shot out of the end of her wand and hit one of the rockets. Instead of freezing in midair, it exploded with such force that it blasted a hole in a painting of a soppy-looking witch in the middle of a meadow; she ran for it just in time, reappearing seconds later squashed into the next painting, where a couple of wizards playing cards stood up hastily to make room for her.
Everyone laughed as the dictator's plan had backfired and blew up in her face. Literally.
"Don't Stun them, Filch!" shouted Umbridge angrily.
"Right you are, Headmistress!" wheezed Filch, who as a Squib couldn't Stun them if he wanted to. He ran to a nearby cupboard, pulled out a broom and began swatting at the fireworks in mid air; within seconds the head of the broom was ablaze.
The fireworks continued to burn and to spread all over the school that afternoon. Though they caused plenty of disruption, particularly the firecrackers, the other teachers didn't seem to mind them very much, which made the entire situation even more hilarious.
"Dear, dear," said Professor McGonagall casually, as one of the dragons soared around her classroom, emitting loud bangs and exhaling flame. "Miss Brown, would you mind running along to the Headmistress and informing her that we have an escaped firework in our classroom?"
Professor Umbridge spent her first afternoon as Headmistress running all over the school answering the calls of the other teachers, none of whom seemed unable to rid their rooms of the fireworks without her. When the final bell rang and we were heading back to Gryffindor Tower with our bags, we saw a dishevelled and soot-blackened Umbridge tottering sweaty-faced from Professor Flitwick's classroom.
"Thank you so much, Professor!" said Professor Flitwick in his squeaky little voice. "I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn't sure whether or not I had the authority."
Beaming, he closed his classroom door in her snarling face.
Fred and George were heroes that night in the Gryffindor common room. Even Hermione fought her way through the excited crowd to congratulate them.
"They were wonderful fireworks," she said admiringly, which kind of rubbed me the wrong way. She had never sounded so impressed with me before. But I didn't think too much into it. Especially since she was absolutely right.
"Thanks," said George, looking both surprised and pleased. "Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-bangs. Only thing is, we used our whole stock; we're going to have to start again from scratch now."
"It was worth it, though," said Fred, who was taking orders from some Gryffindor seventh years. "If you want to add your name to the waiting list, Hermione, it's five Galleons for your Basic Blaze box and twenty for the Deflagration Deluxe."
Hermione sat back down at the table where Harry and I were sitting and preparing to do our homework.
"Oh, why don't we have a night off?" said Hermione brightly, as a silver-tailed Weasley rocket zoomed past the window. "After all, the Easter holidays start on Friday, we'll have plenty of time then."
"Are you feeling alright?" I asked as I stared at her in disbelief while placing the back of my hand on her forehead. She had to be running a temperature to say that.
"Now you mention it," said Hermione happily, as she moved my hand, "d'you know ... I think I'm feeling a bit...rebellious."
I couldn't help but be turned on by her words. A rebellious Hermione. And I could think of a lot of days we could be rebellious together. Alone. In a broom closet, or an empty classroom, or the prefects bathroom.
Unfortunately, the only rebellion done was us not doing our homework. Hermione went to bed early, and after an hour, the rest of us went up as well, with Harry crashing as soon as he hit the bet. However, I was wide awake.
I sat on the side of my bed and conversed with Dean, Neville, and Seamus, something we hadn't done in a long time.
"Your brothers are fucking brilliant!" admired Dean.
"I've never seen that stupid toad of a woman scramble around so much in me life." laughed Seamus. "Did you see what happened when she tried to vanish some of them? They multiplied, they did!"
Dean threw a chocolate frog over at me and we sat up, talking excitedly and munching on sweets. Suddenly there was a huge BANG, and the dorm was brightly lit.
"Cool!" said Seamus, who was looking out the window. "I think one of those Catherine wheels hit a rocket and it's like they shagged or something, come and see!"
Dean and I jumped from the side of my bed where we were sitting to get a better look. Glittering pink and silver winged piglets were now soaring past the windows of Gryffindor Tower. We could hear people in the dorm below us cheering as loudly as we were, as we watched the piglets squeal and fly off into the distance.