Luke, in slight bewilderment, learned about the state of his shop. Young wolves working behind the counter, and girls too. He could see why they had not told him. Magnus' olive branch to the local pack, but also a practical help to Amatis, who trying to spend time with him, could not run it on her own.
Of course, Magnus also enjoyed the local pack owing him a favor, but for the guise to work, Magnus had claimed to be the proprietor while the shopkeeper was on leave. Amatis' brother, which they added since the two of them looked so alike regulars were asking.
And now he had to decide. Looking at the two of them, Luke knew what Magnus and Amatis wanted him to do. But they didn't understand wolves, not the way he did. They would not be pleased to find he was a former pack leader. Or a former Shadowhunter.
Amatis was so clearly fond of the girls. Maia – "A bit rough around the edges; still struggling, with what happened: turned by her ex-boyfriend," and Malarie – "Don't be fooled when she acts like a ditz, it's just a shield. Just some bad luck one night – walking home."
And Magnus filled him in on the pack itself: "Led by Gabriel. Could be a lot worse, my biggest personal complaints about the pack have centered around their extreme devotion to their bikes. Gretel's the second: serious, fiercely loyal. And the third's name is Alaric: big, strong, silent type. Their headquarters are in an abandoned police station behind a closed down Chinese restaurant – The Jade Wolf. I know. Believe it or not, they aren't the ones who named it. They also run a bar called The Hunter's Moon. That they did name."
"Working at the shop has given them so much confidence, Lucian," Amatis continued, trying to persuade. "I really hope you'll give them a chance. It's a place they can feel safe. Malarie's pretty sweet, a gentle sort. Sheltered before this. It's good she's with Maia, she looks out for her, but Malarie's good for Maia too, softens her, because Maia, she's been at war a long time. And this shop, it's like she can finally stop. Read a book. I let her bring some home with her, you should have seen the look on her face: like she might cry."
He'd considered employees in the past but had always chosen not to hire, too afraid of having his secret discovered. While he considered, he tested making sure he could transform at will, and return at will, trying it multiple times. Tiring, but successful. And he decided to take his chances, return home.
"If you should have trouble again, come to me. I will help you," Magnus assured him, after he had packed his things. A moment of silence, as Magnus handed over kindjal. The two of them alone, just as they had been in the forest. Luke took it and placed it in his bag, but fumbled with the zipper, and the straps putting it over his shoulder, then stuck his hand out to the man who'd saved his life.
"Thank you. For… all of this. Seeing my sister again, it's a miracle. I really don't know how to repay you." Magnus grasped his offered hand, nails painted a dazzling rainbow. "Just pass it along, if you have the chance. I too, have had someone pull me from the edge."
Luke nodded, still feeling it wasn't enough. "You're a good man, Magnus Bane."
"No need for formalities anymore, my friend. Oh, and I have one more gift for you. A parting gift, if you will. Please allow me to escort you outside."
There, parked right outside the door with Amatis standing smiling by, was his green pickup and Magnus tossed him the keys.
"Now get out of here. I've got a date to get ready for."
Amatis stowed his luggage as he wandered over speechless, to inspect. Ran his hands over the finish, checked the upholstering on the seats. His faithful steed. Gripped the steering wheel and it sounded good too, as the engine kicked on with Amatis riding shotgun. A scenario he'd never conceived of; it was the first time they'd even been in a moving vehicle together, but he kept his eyes on the road until they arrived at his house.
It seemed… the same. Amatis kept everything well maintained. The inside too was clean and tidy, more so than when he'd left it. And now his sister was rummaging through his fridge, grabbing pots and utensils, knowing exactly where everything was, asking, "What do you want for dinner? Some soup?"
She sent him to his room, told him to rest till it was ready. He passed by Clary's, that Amatis would be staying in for the time being. Checked out the bath. Same blue tiles that were there previously. Then to his – Amatis had switched out the sheets, put heavier bedding on.
Had a flash, saw the ghost of Valentine smiling. Wondered where he was. Magnus had told him he'd advised Valentine not to come to town anytime soon. Let things settle down. Be forgotten.
Reading between the lines, he knew Magnus was telling him not to expect Valentine for some time.
For now, all that was left of him was the kindjal.
Luke agreed to meet the girls, and Amatis arranged it for the next day. Maia tough indeed, chin jutted forward, hands jammed in her pockets, ripped jeans in the dead of winter, a bulky sweatshirt with no coat, and bouncy curls that would not be contained under any hat. Luke could tell she had not been a werewolf long: the energy of it swirling around her in chaotic waves. Malarie neither: hers was more frozen, trying to stop it, in wool peacoat, a fluffy scarf, and matching hat and mittens, taken with her from another life, before she'd had to take refuge in an abandoned police station in the city.
They were putting on a good show: smiling but shy as Malarie was, and Maia acting like she couldn't be bothered, but he knew. They were two teenage girls with no where to go. Whose lives had been upended. Who didn't know who or what they were anymore. They were him knocking on Amatis' door in Alicante begging for shelter; carrying his bags to the Fairchild's estate to wait till the next moon; silently pleading with his parabatai, the morning after he knew for sure.
They didn't need to say anything more.
"You can stay." This caused a crack in Maia's defense, let a little light into Malarie's brown eyes, as she excitedly shook Maia's arm. They could have been sisters, both with glowing golden skin, similar in height, only from different sides of the tracks.
"We'll work out your hours and pay. And I'll speak with Gabriel," he added, and Malarie thanked him, Amatis patted him on the back obviously pleased, while Maia looked off to the side and she reminded him so much of Clary, knew she'd come in here all ready to fight only to be stunned she didn't have to. She could also use some help with the toll sustained by sharing a body with a beast. And so he did something he had not done in a long time, living on his own. Projected an authority learned on the fly as a young pack leader: wrapped that demonic energy – the one he had only just recently been unable to maintain a balance with – around himself like a mantle, interwove it with his own and by doing so let her and Malarie know while they were here, he would be looking out for them.
And he watched how the swirl of Maia's energy slowed and Malarie's thawed, with Amatis standing by curious what he was doing and how he was doing it. But Malarie's shoulders rose while Maia's slumped back, then she wiped her arm across her eyes before saying, sincere, "We'll work real hard. You won't be sorry."
Squared his own shoulders getting ready to walk into The Jade Wolf, Amatis by his side. Decided it'd be better to do it early than late. Didn't want them thinking he was standoffish, or worse, a coward. Not when some of their youngest were involved. So he'd asked the girls to give their leader a message that he'd like to come by, if that was alright. Have a chat about things.
Just as Jocelyn resumed her former identity and all the history it contained, so was he. Had told his sister she didn't need to come, could get dicey, but she assured him she'd already met Gabriel and thought he would be friendly. The girls greeted them, but the rest eyed him with undisguised suspicion. There was always a charged atmosphere when werewolves gathered, a wildness that spread fast, and there was an excitement within himself he had not expected, and a latent desire to start jostling for power, to not be pushed around.
Fortunately, Amatis had always been naturally friendly – so had Stephen, that'd been quite the couple that way, gregarious – and he thought her presence actually deflated some of the natural tension his presence generated. A peace offering of sorts. He'd been willing to come on their turf, take young ones in his shop, and bring his sister along. Not the obvious actions of a challenger.
If he was doing that, he'd have come alone. The tradition that all packs upheld, no matter where they were. Anyone, at anytime, could challenge, and not be ganged up on. Just as his own delirious, grief-driven challenge had been accepted. Which had not been taken very seriously.
He had been so fixated on his goal, he hadn't even looked around before the fight began. This time, with no intention of challenging, he did. Not outright making eye contact with anyone, but it was immediately obvious, as Magnus had mentioned, this pack's fondness for motorcycles, and many dressed in matching style: leather jackets and boots; bandannas, jeans; heavy chains and spiked jewelry, hands full of rings; tattoos, dark makeup; long braids and facial hair. He was sure bare arms and midriffs would appear, when the season was more forgiving. An older man with a long mane of silver hair and matching beard stepped forward, and Luke knew instantly it was him.
"Don't often get someone like you. Legend has it you took over a pack the day you turned. But I see why Bane duped me, probably wouldn't have said yes, if I knew who you were. That ain't your fault though. Nice to see your lovely sister; howdy ma'am. She's been real good to my girls. Smart of you, bringing her."
"I insisted," Amatis corrected, but playful enough not to cause offense.
"Did you now. But I gotta admit, I was expecting you to be a whole lot scarier, Graymark."
"I don't want any trouble."
"I already gathered that. Just making conversation with ya."
Amatis went with Maia and Malarie. "Off to repair some clothes, and well, Lucian knows my skills with needle and thread" while Luke stayed with Gabriel, sat down, and the others eventually grew more settled, went basically back to their previous business: mingling, resting, could smell cooking. Was introduced to Gretel and Alaric, who said nothing, then Gabriel dismissed them. But Gabriel wasn't looking for their input: he was looking for Luke's reaction. To all of it: Gabriel, his first impressions of the pack, their headquarters, the second and the third, and Luke was processing, quick as he could – accommodating given the circumstances; rowdy but overall under control; good enough but needed work, wasn't heated well, damp, sleeping quarters probably weren't any better; sharp like a knife, good in a fight; calmer, something of a peacekeeper.
"So, whaddya say?"
He'd briefly considered, should he follow Jocelyn and Clary? Be closer to Amatis, after all this? Yet the Fray's made it clear they had no intentions of staying, and he already knew he couldn't go back. Not to Brocelind Forest. That was the one promise he'd made himself. Anywhere but there.
Never tried to get with another pack, and frankly, had never wanted to. Didn't want to deal with the politics of who he was, who he had been. Seemed crazy to be doing this for two girls he'd only just met. To set down roots and so shortly after what just happened. Yet he'd had a few moments in his life where he'd operated on instinct alone, and something urged him now this was the right thing to do. Don't strand those two girls. Don't strand Simon. Stay here. Kowtow if he had to.
"I'll join. If you'll have me. I think that's the easiest solution."
Gabriel paused a moment, looked him up and down, then smiled. "...No need to rush things. Hang out awhile. Keep stopping by. Get to know everybody."
And to aid in that effort, Gabriel showed him around. Introduced him to a few people, the friendliest of which were two young men, Bat and Duff – who, like Gabriel, still came forward with a combative edge, and were looking for cues from their pack leader how to behave around an unaffiliated male.
"Careful, boys," Gabriel cautioned, "appearances can be deceiving. A fight with him wouldn't end well for you. Maybe he can give you a few tips, show you the ropes, if he sticks around." The two didn't appear to believe him, but obeyed orders.
"Kids these days," Gabriel muttered to him, after they'd moved on. "Don't know their history, amirite? Didn't even know who you were. And these are the ones we're handing the torch to? But Bat works the bar at The Hunter's Moon. Can see he thinks himself something of a ladies' man. Duff takes construction jobs, when he can get them. Has a hard time holding any other job down, y'know how it is."
Bouts of uncontrollable rage, sleepless nights, monthly changes. The loss of family and friends and community. Luke himself had drifted for years. Gabriel told him a few of the wolves lived elsewhere, but most stayed at headquarters.
"You wondering why I'm being so upfront with you? I like you, more than I thought I would – you handled yourself well in there – and we both know you'd be an asset to this pack."
"You know who I am? How I got turned?"
"'Bout you being a Shadowhunter? Well, that's like calling water wet, ain't it? Like to think I've grown a bit wiser over the years. I'll let you in on a little secret. I wasn't a nice guy before I got turned. Didn't treat my woman right. Didn't take care of my kids like I should have. I wasn't a nice guy after I got turned. Certainly wasn't nice when I killed the last pack leader and took over here. Did it just for kicks, see if I could. Ya get it? I was always the kind of guy who was looking for trouble. And I usually found it.
"And those two tough guys back there, we both know they ain't so tough. They think they're tough, but you and I, we know real tough guys. Real motherfuckers. Like the ones I hung 'round with. Like the one who bit me. Messed with the wrong guy that night, let me tell you -screwed his lady.
Or like your parabatai. Shame he was fighting for the other side.
"But you know what I did after I turned? Screwed his lady again, then tried to tear his fucking face off. Funny story, right? So you can see, there's a poetic justice, me, doing what I'm doing now. All these pups and runts, and I'm the big papa. Certain poetic justice too, that you were out hunting wolves one night and became one yourself. Then took 'em under your wing too.
"You aren't exactly the type of guy I've been talking about. But I also know anybody whose got big enough balls to walk in here, cool as a cucumber, is probably a guy who's gonna give me hell, if push comes to shove. You'd be a big help 'round here, but like I said, take some time and think about it. 'Cause I don't want any trouble from you either, Graymark, and I'm hoping we can keep things all peaceful-like between us. Rather not tear that pretty face of yours off. It'd make your sister sad."
In an effort to keep to the peace, the next time Luke visited The Jade Wolf, he came bearing tools. He'd seen a few simple fixes he could make: flickering lights, a dripping faucet. He wasn't sure at first, how his work would be received but Gabriel gave him a nod of approval and he continued to poke around: paint was dingy and chipping, tile floor cracked, when present at all, otherwise torn up rugs and gouged concrete; punched through dry wall, and a ceiling with missing panels. The ventilation was struggling, the pipes were leaking. Took a look in the basement, in the kitchen, in the bathrooms. More of the same: windows with glass missing, mold and mildew growing, on the cheap duct tape repairs, busted cabinets and drawers, doors in danger of falling off their hinges, and he sighed.
He'd need to make more than a few stops to the hardware store. But first, he had to get through his first full moon.
"What's the worst that could happen?" Magnus had airily declared, after offering Luke the use of his warehouse cell once again, but the transformation was easeful. He was perfectly aware Amatis stayed by his side. Simple as dipping into a pool of water; he actually slept part of the time.
Things were… nice, settled into something of a routine: Amatis insisted on cooking, he'd take Simon out for food after school, couple times a week. The girls were getting more comfortable with him around. Didn't look so spooked every time they saw him.
The pack was starting to get less spooked too. Bat and Duffy would often gather round when he was working, asking him about this or that. Duffy offered to bring home surplus supplies from construction sites. He also started getting requests, at first slightly wary, for help with various problems. Luke had already known it was a big job, but as more and more complaints came in, it only became more so.
Still, it was satisfying. Hammering and prying, patching walls and laying down new flooring. Stripping paint, using up his leftovers – he had some from the farm house, too – then going to buy new. Sprucing up what could be saved and tossing what couldn't.
It was slow going, and suffered from a lack of resources – the damage being significant, and he was using his own funds and labor. Though the longer he worked, the more the pack revealed himself to him, and there were other salvagers, scavengers, who began presenting him with gifts, things they found and scrounged.
Others started chipping in when they could, slyly. Work he had started the day before would be added upon, when he returned. What wasn't fixed was cleaner. It still wasn't great but was looking better, and he thought he might finally be welcome at The Hunter's Moon. There was a slight silence that descended when he walked in the doors, but Gabriel called him over to a booth in a private corner, Luke noting as he walked the neighboring booths and tables were filled solely by pack members. But it was just the two of them in this booth. For this conversation.
"You really took my advice to heart, didn't ya?" Gabriel started, drink in hand, waving someone over to take Luke's order, showing off rings that looked more like brass knuckles, worn on weathered hands that had thrown a whole lot of punches, and Luke supposed he had. Kept stopping by headquarters. Took his time getting a feel for things. It was an obvious way to ingratiate himself, fixing things, but it was also an honest portrayal of who he was, what he did. Liked working with his hands, putting things back together. He'd repaired and sold antiques, once upon a time. Before the book business took off. Jocelyn had given him the money to buy the building. It was in bad shape, but it was still a sizable chunk of change. She'd pawned some of her family pieces to get by and eventually struck gold in the art scene. Told her he'd pay it back. She told him he didn't have to. It took a few years, but he did. Was still grateful to her. He'd never have been able to buy the farm house if she hadn't. Led him nicely though, into something he'd wanted to discuss with Gabriel.
"Ever consider reopening The Jade Wolf? Turn it into a working restaurant?"
Gabriel whistled. "Ain't you ambitious."
"Got more time on my hands, with the girls working. Could try getting it going again. If that's alright with you."
"It's in worse shape than headquarters and that's saying something but be my guest, chip away at it, to your little heart's content. About the girls though: you don't have to employ them full-time. What's yours is yours. Your business, your rules. I ain't gonna come after you for that."
"I don't mind. Keeping them on."
"Glad to hear it. It's been good for them. Particularly little Mal – have to say, I was a little stumped when she showed up on the proverbial doorstep. Nice gal from the suburbs… but it's good for Maia too. Maia – unlike the boys – is one of those motherfuckers I was mentioning earlier. That girl would gouge an eye out for looking at her wrong. Act first, think later; same thing that got me in so much trouble. Glad she's got a place to calm down, so she ain't gouging eyeballs. You don't seem like you've got that problem, but you ever go for someone? Besides the pack leader you offed, I mean."
"Just my parabatai."
"How'd that go?"
"Threw silver me and took a hostage, right when I would have won."
"What a dirty fighting, spit in your eye, motherfucker. Just like I told you. If I were him I'd have done the same, and you stopped didn't you?" Luke nodded.
"You been on your own awhile now? Without a pack?" Gabriel asked.
"Almost 20 years now."
Gabriel downed the last of his drink. "Well, if you feel like taking a break from that too, now's the time." He'd set himself on this path, suggested it, the first time he'd met Gabriel. It seemed crazy then and it still seemed crazy now. Couldn't deny though how it had all lined up. Just like the last time. No prior intention, yet he'd done everything required to secure himself a place in this pack. Still had misgivings about how this would work with Gabriel. Would need to toe the line. But his old life had died, the moment he lost control of the wolf last summer, just as it had died all those summers ago when he'd turned. Would be giving up his freedom, his autonomy, to do this. But he'd done that when he stayed in New York in the first place. Gave up his freedom and his ability to roam in favor of taking care of Clary. Had seemed more important to him.
And it seemed more important to take care of those girls and to take care of this pack than staying on his own. Headquarters was a wreck. Knew he could do some good. But he had one more concern.
"I was Nephilim once. As you know. My sister still is. You've been tolerant but will there be any trouble with me still seeing her? Or anyone else from my past, I'd like to still see?"
Gabriel grinned. "Who you see is your own damned business. Just like your store. Only thing I require from my pack is loyalty. If it doesn't get in the way of the pack, I've got no beef with it. That goes for everybody, not just you. Got any more questions, or does that settle it?"
Now or never. Luke knew he wouldn't get a second invite. Thought of Amatis, the two of them chasing and playing in their small clearing in the woods; Jocelyn and Clary, matching hair and eyes, covered in paint, surrounded by color; Simon, glasses peering out from behind a stack of books; even Magnus with his cat eyes, or the Lightwoods and Hodge at the Institute. Strange that this time, he didn't have to give anyone up. Even his business, his house, he got to keep. Last time he ran with nothing but the clothes on his back and his one family memento from the Morgensterns. Wasn't so cut and dried this time. Left a slim margin, for the one other person he thought of, and his son.
He nodded, stuck out his hand. Gabriel grabbed it, shook it hard, then let out a howl. "Bat! Get a round of drinks going!"
Luke pulled out his wallet, but Gabriel banged his fist down on the table. "Put that damned thing back in your pocket. You're one of us now. Round's on me. Give people the idea all they have to do is come in with cash, to be a part of this pack. Though the handyman routine doesn't hurt."
Others crowded into and around the booth, now that he was officially sworn in. Patting him on the back, slapping his shoulder. Had to shake his head, make sure he wasn't dreaming. Somehow he'd been welcomed into the fold, and hadn't had to kill anyone this time. Just endure some hazing.
But he'd made his decision, so now was the time to stick to it. Stayed with them late into the night. Helped get the drunken ones home. Amatis was already asleep, when he got home himself.
Slept in late. The girls had already heard. Malarie in her excitement gave him a hug when he came out to greet them, and Maia's smile was a little softer, as she observed, "Guess you're stuck with us now."
The real test, however, was the next full moon, which he would spend with the pack. The first time he would see them all transformed, and the first time they would see him too. Amatis bid him farewell, as he headed over to headquarters, more nervous than he was, but he'd continued practicing, changing back and forth, and it continued to be smooth, seamless. Better than ever, in fact. Wolves gathered in packs for a reason; it did help, being together.
Wasn't to say everyone always got along, was pretty standard to have tensions flare during this time, and they'd be inside, nowhere to roam. Couldn't even all be in one room, at least, not comfortably. The restaurant wasn't big enough; even if it was, it was right on the road. The police station had a modest sized bull pen, lobby was nothing to speak of, and the rest was private offices, small meeting rooms. It gave the illusion of space, but with all those squeezes and tight corners, it created a lot of bottlenecks and opportunity for surprises. Then throw someone new into the mix – Gabriel, Gretel, and Alaric were going to have their work cut out for them.
But Luke tried to help them out, got there early and went out of his way to greet everyone. Didn't hurt that his scent was all over the place from all the work he'd been doing. He gauged the mood as he went around: restless, excited, nervous, nothing atypical.
Got to Gabriel himself, who pulled him aside quickly. "Ain't your first rodeo, you know what to do, but I'll give you the rundown quick about the local goings on: Bat and Duff still get pretty wild, can't control it too well, and they're not the only ones. Some of the more experienced ones try to sleep through. Some who can't like to pace around. Expect a few rumbles, depends on the moon, we'll find out in a minute or two. Wouldn't mind if you took it upon yourself to break up some fights, but if you can try to find the girls: Mal cries, curls up in a corner, breaks your heart, and Maia bares her teeth at anyone who comes near 'em."
Luke planted his feet right before the collective change begun and was able to transition fast onto all fours. Though it was a small area, compared to Brocelind Forest, it had been awhile since he'd last been able to walk around during a full moon. He attempted some old tricks, just for kicks: walking on hind legs, balancing on his front ones. It was going to be a long night, after all. Better to find some entertainment, as he jumped then flipped, rolled and somersaulted, and as he'd hoped, some others joined in. He was well aware he was unknown and therefore a threat, and tried his best to appear nonthreatening, and in that effort, just as he had done as a human, he began his rounds, showing himself to everyone, bowing his head in greeting, and usually receiving a bowed head in return. At least from those who kept their minds: Gabriel was busy with those who couldn't. Fortunately, Bat and Duffy weren't among them this time, they were playfully running races when Luke found them.
When after approaching everyone who looked friendly and he still hadn't seen any sign of the girls, Luke made a concentrated search for them. Did break up a few fights along the way. Better not to have bad blood in the morning. He checked the closet sized room they shared, just in case they'd squeezed in there, but it wasn't going to be that easy. Couldn't exactly ask anyone, either.
Had finished the offices and meeting rooms, and was deciding, basement or cells, when he heard a slight cry and followed it. Passed the stairwell, and made his way to the line of cells. This was a better hiding spot if you wanted quiet, because there was a small cacophony coming up from the basement while the cell block was deserted. Already imprisoned in a wolf's body, guess nobody cared for even the idea, of being locked up, but he found the two of them in the cell at the end. Malarie, just as Gabriel had described, curled up and crying in the corner, and Maia, teeth gleaming in the low light, hackles raised, emitting a low growl. He didn't react, only kept his ground, stood in place. She feinted, charging him, but he didn't move, waiting for her to recognize him. He wasn't sure if she could calm down enough to do so, but he laid down in the hall outside the open door of their cell, made himself as comfortable as possible, and she seemed to deem that acceptable.
Sat there till morning, so they would know without a doubt it was him. Was concerned, when seeing the confusion on both of their human faces, he knew they did not remember him being there, but he lead them out, made sure they got something to eat.
Drove home, with a prickle of something wrong. Amatis worked the store while he rested during the day, and the girls did the same at headquarters. Went back, with plenty of time, before moonrise, and found some of the older women in the pack sitting with the girls: Maia agitatedly pacing, and Malarie shaky and pale. Wished he could spare them, but this was their shared fate and they all once again turned, spent the night prowling the abandoned police station. He once again broke up fights, more sparking this night. Bat and Duffy were having a harder time too, tossing their heads, stomping their feet when he approached them, then distracted them by adding himself as a participant, in their races. Made up games of his own: who could leap farthest, balance longest, somehow a ball appeared, and he left them to the improvised soccer match that he suspected Alaric started.
Walked past tussles Gabriel was overseeing, bowed his head to Gretel, who was watching over those sleeping, and made his way to the cells, where Malarie was curled facing a corner, and Maia was more fierce than before, snapping her jaw at him. Tried everything he knew how to communicate in this form; couldn't back down, she'd take that as a sign of submission, but kept his tail and his muzzle neutral, showed her he wasn't scared, wasn't going to hurt her either, but it did nothing to soothe her, she was too far gone.
Laid outside their makeshift den only to find the two of them still passed out in the dim morning light, breathing shallow but stable. Gently shook their shoulders, but when they didn't rise, picked them up, one at a time, and returned them to their bunk bed. The women said they'd keep an eye on them, but he hadn't been able to fix everything, headquarters was still damp and cold, their room was small and stuffy, he didn't feel right leaving them, said as much to Amatis when he returned, but had to rest himself, at least a little while, before going through the final round, and he slept in late enough that he had to shovel food down before hopping in his truck.
Ran in, hoping to get a glimpse of the girls, but they were nowhere to be found in the chaos, the boredom, helplessness and anger, preceding the final day, almost done but not quite, with everyone remembering what event, what bad choice, stupid mistake, cruel fate, caused them to have to go through this three nights a month for the rest of their lives and overshadowed every aspect of their lives, including squatting in a dilapidated building with a makeshift family.
The howling at the onset was near deafening – Magnus mentioned he had put soundproofing spells around the building. "You know me and my favors. Besides, it spares me from having to do memory wiping spells, should any mundanes overhear that unholy racket."
Was difficult to maintain his own bearings, amidst the rampaging, raging battle that ensued, against each other and within themselves. Gabriel was pulling out the big guns to maintain order, demanding obedience instead of implying dominance, with Gretel and Alaric backing him up, and Luke had to admit, it was the best call in a situation like this, escalating as it was. He'd had to, in Brocelind Forest. Still, tried to tell it to the boys himself, settle down, so they didn't get the shock of Gabriel coming over and biting their necks. Bared his teeth at them himself, when more gentle persuasion didn't work, then patrolled around, doing the same to others, willing them to just make it through the night. Passed Gabriel and his commanders as he did so, realized belatedly he had asserted himself into their duties, but no one tried to rebuke him, or stop him, and frankly they could use his help, so he carried on, until things seemed alright to check on the girls, in the same place they'd been before, and as Gabriel had said, it broke his heart, to see the Maia curled next to Malarie, her head resting on top of hers. Just trying to make it through the night. He didn't try to get their attention, just took his usual position, sentry outside their cell, till daybreak, and the girls woke and stood with it, flushed and shaking, shellshocked, on unsteady legs. They looked to each other, then made eye contact with him, while he was trying to appraise if they could make it back to their room on their own. But they looked weak and miserable, their breath fogging in the air, and after consulting with Gabriel and the elder women who'd been looking after the girls the day before, made a decision they shouldn't stay here. Despite his personal misgivings, of whether or not he was doing the right thing, he took the bags the two girls had wearily packed, stowed them in the bed of his truck, then had the girls hop in front with him on the bench seat.
It was a quiet ride, but somehow, Amatis didn't look surprised, when the three of them walked inside. Took over as nurse, and led the girls to her room, Clary's room, while Luke rested on the couch. Made sure they got in a warm shower, a hot meal, while Luke worked the front. Then they all gathered around the table for dinner, subdued, the girls not lingering long, before heading back to bed. Plenty of books to read, if they so chose.
"You don't have to say it," he said to Amatis, when she approached him, as he was finishing the dishes, fumbling with the soap. Knew what she wanted, what she was about to suggest, had been thinking it himself, but it was crazy, sudden, would they even want to, and yet, if he was going to do it, why wait.
"Gabriel did what he could, but they'd do better here with you," she said regardless, and he shook his head, in agitation. "What's a grown man doing having two teenage girls move in?"
She shook her head in turn. "You're all they've got. No one else is going to step in." Then she shrugged, added as an afterthought, "Saves them the trip in the morning, too."
"I know it's right, but it's…" And then stopped himself, because whatever he could possibly say after that was insignificant. He couldn't home the whole pack, and no one blamed him for that but himself. He wasn't responsible for what had happened to them all. And he knew, by the looks on everyone's faces and their blessing when he left, they were simply grateful he had room enough for two of their most vulnerable. Perhaps it was payback, for the one who took care of him as a child, all those long winter nights. Returning the favor, as Magnus had asked.
"Were you scared, Ama, when our mother left?"
"Ama? You haven't called me that since you were small." This reminded him of being small. The two of them together with snow outside. Instead of a cottage, now nestled in his house heated with gas. Except they were no longer young orphans: the two sharing a room down the hall were.
"In some ways we were lucky. I've heard mentions of Maia's brother."
"Real bad egg, he was. Hate to say it, but I'm glad he's dead."
He and Amatis had each other. No matter what happened later on. Maia had never known what that was like, the comfort a sibling could bring. Had only been terrorized by hers. Malarie was an only child, and told she was disturbed, needed to be evaluated, possibly committed, when she attempted to explain to her parents what had happened to her. And when she had showed them she was not insane, spoke the truth, her parents crossed themselves, and told her leave. Said she wandered in tears, until a helpful fay appeared, and directed her to The Hunter's Moon, while Maia had headed to the city herself, then been sniffed out by a werewolf in a different pack, who helped her get where she needed to go. One of the rare occasions the Downworld cooperated without question: assisting those newly turned. A truce of sorts.
"What are they doing, sharing the twin?" Luke asked, canting in head in the direction of the bedrooms.
Amatis nodded. "They're too tired to care. And it gave us some comfort, when we were on our own." He often snuck into her bed at night, even when it wasn't cold. Even though she had a nasty habit of hoarding the covers. When the woods and world outside seemed too big, and they too miniscule.
"I'll need to change it around." Could put bunks in. Maybe a double, if they preferred.
"Go to sleep. You've done enough, for one night."
"I'll take the couch." Amatis was out of a bed, after all, yet she stared at him, incredulous, before clarifying, "No, I'm taking the couch. Don't be ridiculous."
He sighed but started walking. "Was trying to be chivalrous," he called over his shoulder.
"Well don't," she called back.
He trudged down the hall after saying goodnight. Fell into bed. Rolled over onto his stomach, and for one astonishingly vivid moment, recalled Valentine splayed on his back, breathing hard beside him.
Was never really meant to be, anyway. Their timing was never right. Had no way of getting in contact – mostly he tried not to think about it – but Clary and Jonathan were forming a shaky bridge together. It was worth it, Valentine's interruption, to see how happy she was when she spoke of her brother. Of course she wouldn't care, wasn't scared he shared the blood of a Greater Demon. Luke hadn't wanted her to find out the way she had, but he was glad truth had finally been told.
And now, he was about invite two girls from the pack he just joined to stay with him, for the time being.
Moved his hand, when he realized it was resting where the parabatai mark had once been, and closed his eyes.
"Like all the time?" Malarie asked, dumbfounded, at breakfast. "We could stay here all the time?"
"If you'd like," Luke replied, cautious, and Amatis paused from cooking to hear their answer, gripping the back of his chair. He had only met them a month previously, the circumstances were obviously unusual, but after turning into a werewolf, the tolerance for unusual increased substantially, so perhaps he needn't have worried, as the girls exchanged a quick look between them, and Maia declared, emphatically and concise, "Hell yes," before downing a glass of orange juice as though she were at a bar.
"Would we have a curfew? Are there things we'd need to do? Can we um… invite boys back, if we like?" Malarie asked, curiosity growing, but before Luke could answer, and he had thought about subjects like this, Maia interjected, "Forget it. We'll go to the boys' place. No sense in messing up free digs – sorry, TMI?"
And perhaps living communally with limited privacy, in a pack of heavy drinking, hard partying, motorcycle aficionados had worn down modesty, had changed how they might normally talk of such things to a man more than double their age, and though he called them girls, he knew full well they were not children.
"Don't go somewhere you don't feel safe. I'd rather you bring them back here. No curfew, just be on time for your shifts, and let me know when you're going out."
"Two issues with that, Boss. One, it's the boys who should fear us, not the other way around. And second, most guys would piss their pants if they saw you. Never seen anybody step toe-to-toe with Gabriel the way you do."
Remembered what Amatis had said about an ex turning Maia and wanted to be careful with his response. Knew she was well aware of the dangers of turning someone, accidentally or intentionally, and trusted her to read between the lines. "Defending yourself is one thing, but don't go looking for trouble." As for the latter comment, he could only say, "The room is yours, and you can use it how you like."
"Aye-aye, sir," Maia acknowledged, half in jest, but half how wolves addressed someone higher up in the pack. A respect Amatis made difficult to maintain with her follow up question: "You have any lady friends who visit, Lucian?" to which the girls failed to suppress smiles, and he failed to suppress his surprise, outright staring at his sister, who only stared teasingly back, so in true sibling fashion, he shot the question back: "You have any gentleman callers?"
"When the mood strikes me." He had not honestly been expecting an answer, and he sensed that was true, which got him to wondering. "...While you've been here?"
"Some things are better kept secret – right, girls? But have you all had your fill? I can fry up more pancakes. What about you, Lucian? A full stomach will help you keep on your toes."
"This is so great. Working here, this breakfast, now this. Thank you both very much," Malarie started to babble, then stopped herself, got up quickly in a rush of emotion and tripped over to him to give him yet another hug. Could feel she was tired, and he let her rest against him awhile. Any port in a storm, he supposed.
"I feel the same," Maia added, after Malarie stood, and they started clearing the table. "But Boss, if Amatis can get dates – I mean, you two look the same; sure somebody might bite for you too. Or am I overstepping?" Amatis' mischief was contagious, and her eyebrows raised in enjoyment and in suspense, waiting to see if he would take the bait. So he took a chance, ruffled Maia's hair, and muttered, "Bite – funny."
She looked for a moment both startled and touched, then her smirk returned. "I thought so."
After the girls went back to what was now their room, and he and Amatis went to the front, empty at the moment, she turned to him and said, "It's sweet. Seeing you be a father. And also, I have to confess I never quite forgave Jocelyn for picking Valentine. When you were there the whole time."
"...Was I that obvious?"
She shook her head. "I doubt anyone else knew – except Valentine, he was always astute – I just… could see how it hurt you. You looked so handsome too, at their wedding. Better than Valentine even, in gold." Had a flash, to a spare bedroom at the Fairchild manor, the gold wedding jacket immaculately pressed, hanging in wait; the ring lying in wait, in its box to be stowed in Luke's pocket; Valentine in shirtsleeves and Luke in the same, the two of them alone, waiting, and the unspoken moment of pity and apology in Valentine's eyes, the way he had stepped into him, pressed his forehead to his, told him how thankful he was to have his parabatai standing with him, how blessed he was, and how Luke had silently begged him to stop, stop speaking, backed away from him but Valentine only followed, did not let go, as Luke continued to wordlessly ask, stop holding the back of his head – it was too much, and he refused to cry – stop whatever he was doing through their shared rune, but it was Valentine and he was determined as he always was, followed until Luke was backed into a corner, against the wall, didn't stop when Luke's hands not under his control, clawed at Valentine's back, ruining his immaculately pressed shirt. His parabatai merely wrapped an arm tightly around his head, atop his shoulders, strong as iron, so he could whisper right into his ear, a sensation that gave him terrible chills, to match that terrible, beautiful promise from before: "I will always be with you."
Eventually, they had retired to a settee, Valentine still keeping a lock around his shoulders, while Luke closed his eyes, composed himself. Off in their own little world, missing Jocelyn's warning knock entirely, who had come to check something with her fiancé, only to be taken aback by the scene before her. "My goodness, I didn't mean to interrupt."
"Merely resting," Valentine had replied, and Luke did nothing to answer the questions in Jocelyn's eyes, only kissed the bride on the cheek – dressed but not entirely in her gown, still stunning – and left her with her groom to discuss whatever they needed to on their wedding day.
Wanted to dismiss what Amatis said now – it was the kind of thing a mother would say to her son, prideful – and they did look alike, didn't want to insult her – but then he remembered Valentine telling him he dismissed himself too easily. Against white sheets.
"I'm sorry it never worked out for you with her. But maybe Maia's right. Time to let someone else take a bite. I know, I know – I've overstepped." She waved off any protest before he could say it, but what he said instead was, "I'm sorry about Stephen. I know how you loved him."
"Wasn't your fault, darling. I'm not even sure it was Valentine's. If it hadn't been him who'd pressured Stephen to leave it would have been someone else. He just did it first."
"Did Valentine say anything to you about it? When you saw him?"
"Oh yes, he apologized and was amazingly irritating while doing so." Amatis rolled her eyes, and Luke furrowed his brow. "How so?"
"That man could charm the devil."
"...Was I a fool? To become his parabatai?" Didn't trust his recollections of Valentine at the wedding, or what he had said to him last summer. Felt like a fool. Had hoped Valentine would at least honor their vow, My people are your people, after he had turned, but he hadn't. With the devil's charm, he led his sister's husband astray.
"…I asked him that. Why he chose you. I had suspicions, too. And I wasn't feeling particularly generous, you being in the condition you were."
Didn't want to know, stared unseeingly ahead, shallow breathing, vaguely felt Amatis put her hand on his shoulder, yet heard his own voice. "What did he say?"
"That he loved you. Give the devil his due; it was one of his better decisions. I can forgive him for that, at least."
"Talking about pretty boys?" Maia interrupted, hadn't heard her come in. "One of my favorite subjects, and despite what Gabriel thinks, I have picked up a few things, some of the history. Heard about your parabatai, Boss. Still don't exactly get it, but if it makes you feel better, I got duped too. Don't have to be a Nephilim for that to happen. And my brother was the worst of them all. Got everything he wanted when he was a complete maniac. Was divine justice when he got hit by that car.
"And yeah, I'd have to agree with your sister. If he chose you, he can't be all bad. You're one of the good ones – sir. And, I don't mean to be insulting but if you could get duped, I don't feel so bad about getting duped myself. Because I felt pretty stupid too, I mean, my boyfriend bit me? My savior? When I was finally free of my brother? What a fucking cliché."
He doubted she'd meant to, had meant to keep it contained, stay tough, but the facade was crumbling, worn down by the last full moon, and maybe, just maybe, the safety of having a soft place to land. "I just wanted someone to look after me, after all that, when nobody ever did, nobody ever believed me what a psychopath he was, slept with my door locked at night and a knife," she continued, despite herself. "Why didn't anyone protect me? Why didn't anyone protect Mal? She was just walking home; she did everything right, followed all the rules, did everything her parents wanted, and they still kicked her out, just like that. Wasn't her fault she couldn't outrun a wolf, couldn't fight it off. And who knows, whoever that wolf was probably wasn't even in their right mind, didn't know what they were doing, and somebody bit them too. I don't even know what happened with my ex, how he got turned, if he even knew what he was – I didn't, not for awhile, couldn't wrap my head around it, and it just goes on and on and it's so fucking senseless. All those damn Shadowhunters don't understand we all hate that this happened to us. Nobody would have picked this. If they all did their damn jobs better, it wouldn't have happened to us. We're just trying to make the most of it. I'm used to that, it's what I've always done!"
Let Amatis know without words he'd take care of it, and repeated the long ago actions of his parabatai, led her out of the store and back into the house, and sat down with her on the couch. Still wasn't sure about this father business, hadn't had his own, but he was old enough to be hers. So he held her while she cried, and stuck around while she slept. He couldn't change anything that had happened to her or to Malarie, but he supposed he could be here now. Change the future.
He'd accepted long ago that he'd been changed, irrevocably: no longer a Shadowhunter, no longer who he once was. What to do about that, had been another journey entirely. He'd led a pack, left the pack, wandered on his own, lived undercover in New York, and now was back in a pack, and wasn't blind to the fact that he was being given seniority within it. Status accorded by his past position, power proven and power still retained. It had been a blur then, yet now it was a choice, and a choice that required him to tap into the wolf's power that he was normally in the habit of suppressing, lest it run free – as Maia had said, attacking others with abandon. Lest he lose control. But that was the double-edged sword, the paradox, that all pack leaders dealt with. To gain control, you had to give it up. Had to share your body and your soul, with the demon that resided within. Share power and abilities. Blend yourselves together, and become whole. And that's what he did now, with the grounding weight of Maia warm against his shoulder, in the confines of his own home, now shared. Could feel it, the dark tendrils, the energetic waves and flames: the wildness around Gabriel, that he projected effortlessly, without lifting a finger. Why Luke had known immediately he was the leader, the alpha, of a group where even the weakest could easily tear someone limb from limb.
Gabriel had not only accepted what he was. He'd embraced it.
Luke would try to do the same: for the sake of these girls; for the sake of the pack; and just maybe, for his own sake. Restore the balance by breaking it. Free the wolf from its cage in the basement, and by doing so, free them both.
And in this odd dance, it was darkly amusing, that while allowing Maia and Malarie respite – whatever wanted to get at them would have to go through him first – he sent himself further into the woods, deeper into the water. But he'd walked this tightrope awhile now.
He covered Maia with a blanket, the one Amatis was using, and went out to the shop to relieve her. Still, it gave him pause to have the woman who'd raised him regard him similarly to when he'd first revealed to her the blood they shared may be less so. As though she no longer recognized him. As though he were polluted.
Or maybe he only saw what he was looking for: Maia earlier had explicitly shared her thoughts on his manner, and Gabriel the moment he saw him – when Luke felt at his weakest – deemed him a force to be reckoned with.
However, he had other matters to discuss with his sister. "I'm going to buy you an air mattress later. That way, you can sleep in the office. But, also… I'm alright. If you'd like to head back. I know this isn't–"
"Don't worry about that, darling. I'd like to stay a little while longer. Help the girls get settled in. Help you with the store, so you can get to know the pack some more."
He was relieved and she was too, with his response: "It's been a big help. Thank you."
"Least I can do for you, and you're not getting rid of me just yet. So whoever in the pack is getting that air mattress is just going to have to wait until I'm through with it."
So she and he drifted down the river, for a little while longer. She insisted on cooking. The girls liked helping her, though Luke suspected they were trying to pick up the skill, for when Amatis was no longer here. He still took Simon out for something to eat, a couple times a week, and was still thinking about The Jade Wolf at headquarters, if it could be turned into a working restaurant. Would certainly help the pack out.
Even saw some things he'd like to fix at The Hunter's Moon, but that was running alright, at the moment. So he focused on keeping the wind out of the living quarters and keeping the warmth in. Making sure everyone had a decent place to sleep and some basic comforts: blankets and pillows, soap and towels.
Someone would indeed get Amatis' air mattress, and her departure was jarring for the both of them. Was hard on the girls too. Promised them she'd be back before they knew it. Briefly wondered if the girls would want to split up now, one take the office, but the three women seemed to concur he had a screw loose after suggesting it.
"Keep your office, Boss."
"The bunk bed you made us is lovely!"
"Besides, I'll need it when I come back." He'd figure out another bed for her later. Now, the two of them left the girls, and he drove her to Magnus'. He was having difficulty, physically letting her go. Arms were not releasing her, to walk through the portal. Even when he managed to, she walked back. Told himself he would see her again, but could not contend with the doubt he never would.
At one point, he actually pushed her, freed her to leave, not knowing what else to do, stuck in hesitation as they were.
"You two are making me incredibly emotional!" Magnus announced, breaking through the heavy burden of this departure, making Amatis crack a smile even with the tears in her eyes, and he closed his, breathed. Nearly stopped though, when Amatis made an announcement of her own: "I'd like to be closer to you, darling. Let me see Jace through his schooling. If he and Clary continue as they are, we'll all be joining you. She and Jocelyn are itching to get back here."
"Perfect! Amatis will be relocating to Brooklyn – where the best of us reside, I might add – and I I will reunite you whenever you please, but for now leave! Please! I have better things to do than keep this portal open all day!" Magnus urged.
"Alright," Amatis conceded, turning to the warlock, "reuniting families – another accomplishment to add to your long resume." Then heeded his words, prepared herself: travel by portal was a whirlwind, but first pulled Luke's head down to kiss his cheek, told him she loved him, and reminded him to write.
Then stepped through. Gone.