Chapter Twenty Seven

A few weeks passed since Luke and Valentine first spoke of going away together. He told the pack he would be going out of town for a few days, leaving Gretel in charge. He thought they would dislike his absence, but to his surprise they all seemed happy he was going. "Take a break, Boss!"

He told Magnus about it; Luke didn't want to worry him. To his surprise, Magnus also seemed happy about this trip.

Rita agreed to portal with him to her property, and he met her at Magnus' apartment.

"Oh, Pauper! I am so glad you and your Prince took me up on my offer! He is there waiting for you as we speak." said Rita.

"Now, don't worry about anything here. Just -" Magnus paused mid speech, stymied.

"Where you about to say something naughty, Magnus Bane?" said Rita, grinning.

"I hadn't planned to, but everything I thought to say does sound like a double entendre."

"Oh, Pauper, you are blushing! Come along, let me deliver you to the source of your embarrassment. Pick up your things." Rita grabbed hold of his arm and opened a portal.

"Sorry about that, Luke. I do truly wish you good time. Bon voyage!" said Magnus, looking embarrassed.

"We're off!" called Rita, pulling Luke forward. An instant later, they stood in ankle deep snow. Luke took a moment to orient himself. The air was cold and crisp. They were standing in a clearing, surrounded by a deep mixed forest of pine and bare deciduous trees, a few cardinals and blue jays amongst the branches. He looked to the side, where Valentine was standing in front of a small cabin, dressed for the environment.

"Surprised, Pauper? My tastes are wide and varied. It's not grand, but it has more than enough for you two."

"No, it looks wonderful. Thank you, Rita."

"Oo, am I jealous of you two! Anyways, I will come back and get you at the arranged time. Until then!" With that, Rita created another portal, stepped through, and vanished.

Valentine walked over.

"Where is this?" asked Luke.

"The Adirondacks. Do you like it?"

"I do. Want to go on a hike, while we have the light?" He felt happy being in the woods, and wanted to stay out awhile.

"Yes, Rita said there is a creek nearby. Come inside first. There is a map of the area, and you can put your bag down."

They didn't talk much, as they walked. He had spent much of his time before settling in New York near forests like this one, and while there were many things about that period of time in his life he did not miss, this was one he did.

They returned to the cabin. There was a small entry, a sitting room, a well stocked eat-in kitchen, and one bedroom. He imagined Rita laughing about that when she offered this place to Valentine. There was also a path leading to a rocky area, with steam overhead. Valentine said Rita had fashioned her own mineral bath.

They sat together reading in the sitting room. During their last visits, they had been so focused on each other, knowing their time was limited. This really felt like a vacation, that there was time to spare, to just sit and be with each other.

They made themselves dinner. He and Valentine had sometimes gone on solo hunting trips, so they had some precedent for this. Walking, relaxing together in silence, preparing food together.

Afterwards, they made their way to the bath. The stonework was beautiful. It was far enough away from the cabin that Rita had separate changing rooms next to it. The sky was clear, the stars bright, the air chill, but the water was warm.

Luke went into a changing room. When he emerged in a bathing suit, Valentine was already in the water, and Luke sat down, directly across from him.

"Rita seems to have read you quite well, for only having met you briefly. I could not have picked a more fitting place to bring you."

Luke smiled. "You like it here, too?"

"Very much."

"Do you still stargaze?" Valentine had always taken time to look up at the night sky.

"I do. I enjoy the feeling of being closer to the Divine."

"We were an odd pair. I always felt calm in the forest, but you wanted to see the heavens."

"I like to believe we balanced each other."

"You liked the stories of seafarers using the stars to navigate."

"I did teach myself and Jonathan how to do so."

"Impressive."

"I am glad someone still appreciates it. Jonathan would often argue with me, asking why did I bother, when I could use technology."

"Sometimes customers ask me about that, running a book store with electronic readers, but people still keep coming in. Or when I bought antiques, and I took Clary with me, she would be confused why I bought what I did. I told her I could clean it up, but she wondered why I went to the trouble."

"Why did you?"

"It was satisfying. I could fix it, give it new life."

"I feel that that is an apt description of what we are doing now. Our relationship tarnished; we are making restorations. We were not unaffected by the passage of time, but that same passage of time is what makes me appreciate what we had, and what we have altered."

At that, Valentine stood and made his way over. He thought Valentine would sit down next to him, but when he instead reached down and grabbed Luke's arm, pulling him up so they were standing facing each other, the water hitting their waists. Valentine brought one hand up to cup the side of his face, put the other on the small of his back, leaned forward and kissed him.

He had not made any previous attempts at intimacy today, and neither had Valentine. He had enjoyed his company, but was reticent after his conversations with Amatis and Jocelyn, the amount of time between their meetings. Their first night together had been spur of the moment. Even their dinner and meetings at Renwick's were spontaneous, yet the morning after had been sobering; they had no commitments to each other, and Valentine was seeing other people.

But, to his surprise he felt his heart catch in his chest. He tilted his head to the side and kissed him back, bringing his hands to hold at his sides. Valentine was always so full of intent that Luke couldn't describe this as lazy, but it was slow. The heat and steam from the mineral bath, the dim lighting. Valentine pulled away, but Luke pulled him back, and Valentine smiled against his lips, continued kissing him for awhile longer, before moving away once again. He let him this time.

"You are truly enjoying yourself, here?" asked Valentine, softly.

"Yes. It's more luxurious, but it reminds me of home." The cabin he and Amatis had lived in, while not as remote as this, had a similar feeling. "Thank you for inviting me."

"I needed to do something after our terrible departure at Renwick's. Though one thing leads to another. Rita took enough of a liking to you to offer this place to us. And, that morning was not a complete loss. It was a joy waking up to you beside me."

Valentine kissed him again, this time more insistently. "Wash, then to bed?" he asked

Luke nodded, Valentine withdrew and they made their way to the changing rooms. He took a quick shower to rinse the salts off, redressed himself, then they made their way back to the cabin. Luke had lit a fire in the bedroom fireplace before they went to the bath. Rita hadn't decorated this exactly like a hunting cabin, but it managed to be both rustic and stylish. The floors were wood, the bed was simple, with a large down comforter.

They found their way to the bed, and Luke enjoyed Valentine being so near, the crackling of the fire, the softness of the bed. Valentine gripped his hip and pulling him forward, so that he was laying on his stomach, then straddled him, and kissed him along his spine, as he had last summer.

Luke, to his confusion, felt more sleepy than anything else. Yes, this and the hot spring were relaxing, but he had been so moved by this before, and now he felt nothing, as though Valentine weren't making contact with him at all.

He hung his head in realization; this again. He thought he had been doing well lately, but again Valentine brought this to his attention. Now that he thought about it, he was probably the only one who believed he was fine. Magnus checked on him regularly, as did Amatis and Jocelyn. Sometimes he caught Simon looking at him with worry when they ate out together. The pack was mostly relieved he was taking a vacation. Even Rita offering this place, he thought it came from her roguish sense of humor, but now he reconsidered.

Valentine stopped his movement, and when Luke turned to face him he saw Valentine's undisguised pity. "I need to stop." stated Luke.

Valentine only nodded, then moved to the side of the bed. Luke got up and retrieved his shirt, when a thought occurred to him.

"This is why you declined at Renwick's, isn't it?" At the time, he thought Valentine was referring to his nausea from the previous evening.

"Yes," Valentine answered, as he too rose from the bed, putting on sweater. Once again, he had been out of touch with the situation. A silence fell upon them. Luke sighed. Everything about this was ideal. The setting, the privacy, Valentine was interested, at least he had been up until a moment ago. Luke wanted to explain, to say something more to Valentine, but he wasn't sure how to fix this, and with their schedules being what they were, they had no time to figure it out. Maybe they were ill fated as lovers, just as they had been ill fated as parabatai. Maybe it was time to throw in the towel.

"I'm sorry. I care for you, but this isn't working."

"Lucian, please do not be so hard on yourself. We already discussed this. I know you are having troubles. I am willing to be patient."

"We both know patience isn't one of your virtues."

"Is that a challenge?" Valentine countered, smiling. "Come into the kitchen with me? We can continue discussing this there."

Luke nodded.

Valentine pulled some grapes out of the fridge, and handed Luke a glass of water. They sat at the table. Luke didn't have much of an appetite, but he sipped at the water, ate a few of the grapes.

"Is something else troubling you?" asked Valentine.

This would be deeply painful to admit, but he had nothing left to lose, and at least they could have closure. "I've wondered if you would ever consider being exclusive with me. I knew it would be a long shot, with how infrequently we see each other. It's not even a question if we don't have sex when we're together. I don't seem to be getting better. Won't this bother you, after awhile? We could still see each other, as friends. That seems better than drawing this out any longer."

"I told you I would not ask your forgiveness, for what I have done, and I hold true to that, but I will say this; Give me a chance to redeem myself to you. You went through, and are still going through an ordeal. I left you last time, I do not wish to leave you again. Patience is not my strongest suit, but it has always been yours. Please, be patient, do not dismiss me just yet. And, know I have been exclusive with you."

"Since Renwick's?"

"Since the summer."

"Why?" This truly surprised him. Luke had not even conceived this as a possibility.

"I told you I would return the following evening, and I did not. When I did, and found you in such distress, taking another lover held no appeal for me. You said your relationships were unsatisfying – I recall you using the word 'hollow?' I found mine to be the same. Have you been exclusive with me?"

"Yes."

"I have also thought of asking you to be exclusive, though I was not sure how you would receive such a request, considering the last time we made vows to each other ended tragically. I hear your concerns, but we have a few more days. Let us just enjoy being here, together."

Luke liked the sound of that, despite everything. "Okay."

Valentine nodded. "May we share the bed?"

"Yes."

"I am glad. As I said, it was a joy to wake beside you."