Holdo was sitting on the edge of a desk, a huge window in front of her, revealing the infinite of space. Her figure was gently illuminated by a few stars out there. In their light, she looked even slimmer than before. His mouth went a little dry.

"Admiral," Poe addressed her. "You know, I was wondering why the hell someone like you would come down to a place like this" he stepped a little closer. "Are you meeting someone here? Because of what you're hiding from us? Spying, perhaps? Or are you arranging to get out of here before trouble strikes?"

Holdo did not move. Poe continued. The discussion didn't start as well as he planned anyway. In his head, it sounded soft, not as rude as… it was actually.

"So I thought about all of these and then I ruled them all out. I know I said something else recently, and in front of everyone, that I really shouldn't have... But you're not a coward, nor a traitor," he finally stated. "I just wonder why it would hurt you so much if those unfortunates who are about to suffer the same fate as you knew what was going on around them. You know, I'd be less nervous myself if I could do what I could for as long as… as I could. But you don't say anything" he stopped.

Poe crossed his arms and went silent. He decided to wait for an answer this time. He didn't care how long he had to stand there. Looking at her back, of course, as always. He was kind and honest. She would speak now. A long minute passed before he sighed nervously.

"Am I the only one you hate this much? Can't stand me, huh?" he stepped closer. "Say something, damn it! You are free to say anything two rotations before we die, it doesn't matter. If you can't stand me, I'll stay out of your sight! Hey, that's a good offer, don't miss it!"

Poe's mind began to flood with rage. Again. He vowed not to have another scene, but that was then. Now he's talking to the wall again and this time she would really manage to make him lose his head.

"Holdo!" he called her, now out of nerves. "Any chance to turn towards me?"

He felt a moment's temptation to go and pull her up, no matter how roughly. His fist clenched. His foot moved almost of its own accord when a barely audible sound hit his ear.

"Can't"

He blinked in confusion. "What?"

"I... can't" her voice was little more than a whisper. Suddenly the fog lifted from Poe's mind.

"Admiral" he approached. Now he saw that she was holding the edge of the table. With such force that her fingers were white. Suddenly she jerked and groaned.

Poe stared down at her. She immediately lowered her head. Her hair fell in her face so he couldn't see it.

"Are you all right?" he asked slowly, as reached over and touched her chin. He lifted her head. She let him.

Her eyes were closed, her jaw tightened. Poe saw immediately that she was in pain. The next moment her whole body tensed and she cried out. She tried to hold herself. Only one thought was screaming in her head: to get out of there.

She tried to stand up, but couldn't. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Poe stood stunned. The alarm went off in his head.

"What's happening with you?" he asked. Her mouth moved, but he couldn't understand what she was saying. He leaned in close to hear.

"To my... cabin..." she squeezed between her teeth.

"You need a doctor," he said, but she shook her head. "Yes, you do"

"No"

Poe opened his mouth to strike back, but finally, for the first time in his life, his mind got ahead of his words. A leader, no matter what, keeps order even by her mere presence. She gives faith. The rest of the leadership is dead, the general is unconscious. Only God knows what would happen to the crew if they were completely on their own without a stronger hand to hold. If they saw the Vice Admiral weak. And she knew this.

He swallowed.

"Okay" said finally and gently put her arms around his neck. He felt his cheeks flush slightly as wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her. She was soft under his palm. Warm. He didn't understand why he was surprised, but he was. Her chest was against his. He felt her heart beating way too fast to be normal.

He pulled her up. The admiral hissed and buried her face in his neck. The pain was now unbearable. She couldn't see, and could not breathe at all. She could only feel the man's strong arms holding her.

Just like a shield – she thought again, as started to see stars and dumbness washed over her.

"Dameron" she breathed.

Poe shuddered as her hot breath suddenly ran over his skin. As his name rolled off the tip of her stubborn tongue, for the first time. His eyes closed, as leaned into her hair a little, his nose gently touched the edges of her purple curls. Then inhaled her deeply. She was sweet, Lavender-fresh. Innocent, as dawn itself.

Meanwhile, Amilyn's arms slowly lost their grip. Poe moved with the reflex of a pilot. Reaching below her shoulders and knees, he caught her at the very last moment.

"Admiral?" he said hoarsely, when saw her head loll back on his arm. "Hey, can you hear me?" he shook her, but the woman was hanging unconscious by then.

He rushed with her down the deserted corridors. Literally ran. Holding her felt like holding the air between his fingers. Poe carried much heavier tools every time he had to fix something on the ships. He wondered seriously how Holdo could be such a thin little creature, while ordering her crew as a full-grown Wampa.

His heart was pounding in his throat. Her skin went hot as fire, started to get damp. Once inside the small cabin, he was in for the second time, he closed the door and laid her gently on her bed.

Then he paced up and down, wall to wall. Poe Dameron was never a rule follower. No one knew this better than Amilyn Holdo. He always sensed the right thing to do and went after his own head. He should have taken her to a doctor, he knew. Why follow her orders now? He moved to grab her and carry her out, but then just started pacing again, his hand nervously running through his hair. Amilyn Holdo was no fool, but never, not once, had she let him in on what was going on in her head. She left Poe no choice but to believe deep down that Holdo knew what she was doing. And that's exactly what he's getting now.

And if she dies?

"Damn you" he sat down on the edge of the bed next to her and sighed deeply to regulate his pulse. Sweat appeared on Amilyn's face. Her breathing was irregular and rapid. Sometimes she groaned, but Poe couldn't understand what she was saying.

"Fuck" he yelled out, jumping up again and kicking the chair next to him. Then he sat back powerlessly and slammed his back against the wall.

For a while he just watched her face. Her smooth forehead, the curve of her brow, her long eyelashes that fluttered occasionally. Her pointed nose and lips that parted slightly. Her skin… what was even paler then before.

It was a long time before her breathing slowed down and deepened finally. Poe dared to close his eyes only then. He felt he had aged years, as watched her chest rise evenly. A shuddering sigh left his lips. His hand trembled slightly. It was then that he realised how scared he'd been.

The exact opposite of her now, as slowly her features softened. He leaned over and gently took her face in his hands. His thumb brushed over her skin, wiping her sweat away. She sighed, but did not wake up. Amilyn Holdo was a strong woman. Smart, determined and tough, Poe mused. But besides, he had to admit, she was fragile… Delicate…

He woke up to the sudden impact of a foot. When opened his eyes, he found himself face to face with the admiral, who glared at him totally confused. He realized he had fallen asleep in the bed, and unfortunately was not the first one to wake up. Of course, after spending the entire night awake for her. His mind raced as to what to say all of a sudden.

"You..." moaned Holdo, also searching for words. By the time Poe opened his mouth, it was too late. "You won't get away with this, I'll see to that"

The man's dismay was replaced in an instant by the familiar rage. A rage that only one human being could ignite in him so suddenly.

"Instant judgement, again! Congratulation! Could you at least let me explain-" he began, a little louder than he had intended.

"You can't say anything to justify being here" he got back in his face with the same kind of anger that only made his blood pressure rise more.

"And what do you do? Are you demoting me again? Where else? What am I going to be, cleaning staff? Or a foot masseuse?" he grabbed her boots. She freed her leg immediately, and kicked him hard in the side. Poe groaned in pain.

"How about opening the airlock and see if you can fly as well without an X-wing under your ass?"

"And how about next time leaving you there on the floor, when you're passing out in my arms, moaning my name?"

Her jaw dropped. She stared at him for a long moment, forgetting to blink.

Poe leaned back and massaged the spot of the kick with his hand, grunting something.

She knitted her brows, seemed to be slowly grasping something of what had happened. He saw a blush appear on her cheeks. She looked down at herself, saw that she was lying in her clothes from yesterday, with her boots on. Then swallowed silently and got up from the bed.

She turned her back to him, again. He could see her shoulders hunch as she sighed. She ran her fingers through her dress and arranged her hair slightly with her fingers, then waited. After a long moment, she headed for the exit, but stopped just in front of the door, with her hand on the opening panel. She turned to him very slowly.

"Did I say… anything to you while I was out?" she asked hesitated. Poe saw, how tense she was.

"No" he said after a pause. "And you wouldn't tell me what happened if I asked now, would you?"

She seemed to be thinking. He saw, that something in her eyes changed. Her gaze was soft. As soft as in her sleep. If there were even any creatures in the galaxy to whom the admiral cast such a warm glance in this life, Poe was certainly not one of them. Until now.

She shook her head with a hint of sadness flashing in her eyes. Then the mask was back on her face, her features hardened, her gaze went cool. Amilyn disappeared. Vice Admiral Holdo stood before him again.

"Admiral Holdo," she was immediately followed as she stepped out of the cabin. "Yesterday's reports..."

"Thank you, Commander," she said sternly as walked away.

Poe wondered several times in the next rotation if this had all happened to him or if he was hallucinating from fatigue, for this whole thing seemed too surreal to be true.