The Price of Pain

Chapter 19: Striving for Power

The first thing Aki noticed was the thinness of the mountain air. It was difficult to breathe normally while walking at such a high altitude, but running made her lungs burn. She was ashamed to say something she could have easily done in her past life, made her keel over and vomit now. Iwao continued up with her, periodically taking breaks due to his injuries, though he managed better than she did.

Years of physical neglect had done this to her. It wasn't just muscle she needed to rebuild; it was endurance. And a Shinobi endured. She chuckled dryly as she considered the values of Shinobi. All they could do was endure when life was nothing but one shitshow after the next. She didn't want to just endure in this life. She wanted to overcome . So she pushed forward on what Knuckleduster had dubbed 'interval training'.

"While you run, control your breathing. Inhale for as long as you can, exhale, and then hold that state of oxygen deprivation for another 10 seconds. Then inhale again, hold for another 10 seconds, breathe in and out twice, and repeat."

Ten minutes into this, she was already feeling dizzy. Her lungs burned and the world was shaking. Iwao did not relent.

"If you give up now you never really wanted to get stronger! Don't be a coward. Keep moving brat!"

Like a drill Sergeant, he kept insulting her enough to rile up her spirits for more. She grit her teeth, pushing herself each step of the way, through sweat-soaked brows and laboured breaths. Aki pushed and pushed until she passed out. When she woke up again, she was tucked into a sleeping bag in the cabin. She sat up and winced as she held her chest in pain. Iwao met her with a bowl of steaming stew, and Aki felt her stomach warm despite the protests of her muscles.

"You did good, kid," he said, ruffling her hair.

She ducked her head, snatching the bowl, and feeling her cheeks warm. That nice feeling returned, something that made her heart race but not out of fear. She fixed her hair but thought privately she wouldn't mind if he messed it up again.

"I barely managed to do 2 hours of that," she sighed.

"It will take time to build up your resistance. Your lungs will increase its oxygen capacity and by extension more oxygen to your blood means stronger muscles. Now dig in. Food and rest are just as important as exercise. "

Aki nodded. She practically inhaled her food from how starved she was from the workout. Oguro laughed at her ravenous expression, and despite herself, Aki slipped a small smile too.

It was no use. She was at this for nearly a week, and she barely made a dent in her progress. Aki dearly missed her chakra. Being with Oguro Iwao, who was a hulking man, was not helping her growing feeling of inadequacy. He was taller than her, had longer reach, and not to mention he was just plain stronger. If he were in his prime, she wouldn't have stood a chance, especially if he still had his quirk. It raked at her– this weakness.

If only I were a man

The thought caught her off guard and broke her breathing pattern. Aki fell to the ground wheezing as she held her chest tightly. Sweat dripped from her forehead onto the dirt beneath her, and she took a moment to gather herself as her vision shook. She hadn't wished for that since... well since her first honeypot mission. Her weakness had landed her that job. Now it had to do purely with physicality. How could she catch up to someone like Iwao, who even without a quirk, past his prime, could still defeat her. Sure her Kenjutsu helped even the field, but against the power of someone like Overhaul, it was useless. And to be so reliant on her situational quirk made her feel powerless. At least if she were a man, she could be a bit taller, naturally stronger, all because of a stupid biological advantage.

"Biological advantage," she whispered in sudden realisation.

Men were stronger partially because of their testosterone levels. It helped increase muscle build-up and clarity. Testosterone was also a hormone, and she could control it within herself. Except she'd never really tried, because it wasn't immediately useful. Aki turned it over in her head. It was a good idea, but it came with drawbacks. It could mess with her menstrual cycle and her natural growth. She couldn't overdo it. Steroids had a similar kind of addiction to it. She didn't want to rely entirely on it. But just a small spike here and there to grow stronger and faster couldn't hurt.

"Are you going to lay there forever?" Iwao asked.

"N-no," she panted as she got up, and began her run up the mountain once more.

"Breathe in and hold," Iwao ordered.

She did, pushing through the pain once more. And she continued this, day in and day out for another week. And despite the dizziness, Aki climbed and climbed, ran, and then sprinted, all while breathing in intervals until she collapsed to her knees to the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen.

The sun showered the forest with a golden light, the sky a light pink, dripping purple. Aki could hear her laboured breathing but through it all she also found herself laughing.

She did it! She really did it.

"Sensei look!" she said, turning to the man with a too big smile.

Iwao's surprised expression turned into the softest smile she'd seen and he came to sit next to where she'd fallen. In her excitement, Aki hadn't even realised that she had called him sensei.

She hadn't realised that for the first time in this life, her smile had truly reached her eyes.

The next day they took a break. Aki woke up expecting to keep up the interval training until getting up the mountain was difficult. In that time she also started increasing her testosterone a little. Not too much since she didn't want to overdo it. She changed into her usual sweatpants and tank top and tied up her open-toe sandals. It only felt right to give up enclosed shoes even after a whole lifetime away from Iwa. After her stretches, she went to find the old man.

The memory from the prior day made her a little embarrassed. She had called him sensei without even thinking about it. The high from accomplishing her goal, and seeing the mountaintop view once more, was enough to make her drop her guard. It was embarrassing how little control she had of her emotions in that moment, simply letting it all go so brazenly and foolishly. Even worse, was the fact that she was second-guessing her plans now.

Could she betray Knuckleduster's expectations of her and go back to villainy after this? She promised Yamato she would come back and take down Overhaul with him. She finally had a goal now—kill Chisaki Kai and take over the Shei Hassaikai. Gone would be the days when people used her, and instead, she could be the one pulling the strings for once. She would be better than them too.

But taking over a Yakuza group would put her at odds with Knuckleduster. He was a Vigilante on the side of Heroes. No way would he approve of such a choice, not when he was clearly looking to turn her to his side. She couldn't see any other reason why he'd spend so much effort on her. Seeing him now, he'd softened up a little, despite being a rather frightening specimen of a man. She didn't doubt he was in peak physical shape despite his age and old leg wound. His muscles were thick, every single inch of his exposed skin showed an impressive physique. She was somewhat envious of it. That show of strength for a quirkless man was worthy of much more praise than simply being born with good genetics. It spoke of hard work.

"Sen—old man," she greeted, stopping her mid.

"Ready for some fun?" he asked.

"I wouldn't call what we're doing fun," she huffed.

He turned around and she saw a hunting rifle on his shoulder. That was new. She rose a brow in question, and he held it out for her to hold. She took the unfamiliar weapon in her hands. She was more used to a handgun, and even then, she didn't resort to using it unless her knives wouldn't be useful.

"Arms training?" she asked, a little caught off guard.

"You could say that, or you could say we're going on a leisurely hunting trip," he said.

"What about training?"

He tutted. "Remember what I said about rest. We need to give our bodies time to recuperate, or we could do more damage, and you'll end up more delayed on your goals trying to recover from torn muscles and exhaustion."

Well, they could have just gotten a medic-nin to heal it up, she thought idly before realising she was falling back onto her old mindset again. She didn't have that here after all. Kunckleduster knew what he was doing as well. She understood the logic behind his schedule.

"Okay, but isn't hunting strenuous too?"

"Not if done properly. How good are you with tracking and hunting?" he asked.

Aki sent him a challenging smirk. "Oh, you think I'm a greenhorn old man? Well, think again."

"This got more interesting. Then let's see how well you can track," he said.

This was her element. Aki had hunted nearly her whole life. After survival lessons were done in the Academy, she and a few other orphans had hunted down game outside the village borders during their free days. It was a risky thing for children to do, but with the only free meal they got being the ones in the Academy, it meant they had little wherever they were staying. Aki had been raising herself in her parents' small apartment her entire childhood. Iwa had made them hate Konoha and Kumo more for their large farmable lands, citing that as a reason why they couldn't afford to feed orphan Academy students past the one measly meal they did provide. Looking back at it, it was partially Iwa's fault for not being able to secure a smaller border nation and force them to grow produce for them as tribute.

Aki knew it now to be greed. Iwa could have fed them if they hadn't thrown all their resources into a pointless war. But if it taught her one thing, it was how to live off the land. So as she started tracking the small tells in the earth, she led them to a stag. Iwao gave her a thumbs up with an appreciative smirk at her work. Then he positioned the rifle ever so gently on his shoulders and aimed. Aki watched the shot go straight through the stag's eye. It was an impressively clean shot, quick and painless, with minimal damage to the hide or skull. The kind of marksmanship that was pro.

"Impressive," she whistled.

"Just like your tracking skills kid. Now come on, we can't let his sacrifice be ignored."

Aki nodded, following Iwao towards the downed animal. She didn't expect to see the man send a silent prayer for the creature. She clasped her hands together in imitation. It wasn't something she'd ever done. Usually, she just killed the animal with a slit to the throat because it was too much effort and skill to throw a kill shot at a running prey. Iwao had minimised the animal's suffering and now he was even paying respects to it, something Shinobi rarely even had the time to do for their fallen comrades. Or maybe it was just Iwa and Kiri Shinobi. For as much as she had reviled Konoha and Kumo, they had always paid proper respect to their dead.

"What is your head locked onto?" Oguro asked her.

"I suppose some old dead comrades," she said vaguely.

"It's the course of life. We eat and we're eaten. But humans tend to forget that we're also a part of nature, that we have to give as much as we take. And we never take more than we can give," he said.

"Where's all this sagely advice coming from?" Aki asked incredulously. It seemed an out-of-character thing for someone as gruff and hot-headed as Knuckleduster to say.

"Believe it or not it was my old man. He said this shit a lot when we used to go hunting together. Now come up and help me tie its legs together. We'll skin and hang it at the cabin. It'll make us some good jerky for later."

His old man... Aki tried not to think too deeply about it. Knuckleduster mentioned that he had a daughter older than her. If he was going to take anyone on a road trip for familial reasons surely it would have been his own blood kin. Yet he had shared the wisdom of his father with her, someone he was just training.

Why?

She wanted to ask that a lot these days. But she couldn't bring herself to anymore. She was afraid of hearing the answer.

It took a month alone for her lungs to stop burning and for the run up the mountain using interval training to feel complete. At the end of it, Aki could see the change in her own physique. Her muscles had toned considerably, and she'd grown in height. Her cycles had stopped, which was a somewhat worrying problem on its own, but a sacrifice for strength, nonetheless. Was it healthy? Undoubtedly not, but she wasn't here for health.

She didn't tell Iwao about her quirk usage. She didn't want to have to explain the reasons why she was probably damaging her own body to get where she needed to be. And she was aware of the consequences, so it didn't matter.

"How are you breathing now?" Iwao asked her as they continued the run up the mountain.

"Easy," she said.

"Good, we're going to take it a step further. Come on."

He began sprinting and Aki groaned before running after him. When they reached the top of the mountain, they stopped at the cliffside.

"You're climbing down and then up again," he told her.

Aki looked down the steep drop and paled. Once again, she was reminded, she didn't have chakra. This was insanity...

"Don't worry, I bought safety harnesses. Let me show you the basics of mountain climbing. I would come down with you the entire way, but my leg is busted," he said.

"It would take me until nighttime to get down there," she said.

"Then you better be back up by sunrise, eh," he said.

Aki groaned again. Then after a brief explanation on how to use harnesses and other safety equipment, Iwao let her get to it. She began the long climb down, making sure to tether herself every so often so she wouldn't fall to her death. That didn't mean it wasn't absolutely heart-stopping every time she slipped and fell. The snap of the rope going taught with her weight was painful and so was the mad scramble to right herself again when it happened. If she had her chakra it would have been an easy vertical walk up. But she continued her grueling pace without the ability she missed the most. By the time she got down, it was already dark, and she was expected to climb back up again.

She sat down for a moment and let her trembling legs rest. At least at the base of the mountain, the air wasn't thin. She could breathe easy for now. But she had to climb back up.

"This better be worth it," she told herself with a sigh.

Then she started her gruelling trip back up.

When Iwao had offered to train the teen, he knew it was a gamble. He'd already messed up with Tamao, and while Akiho was not his daughter, not even in the slightest, it was impossible to miss the way she looked at him. Except Akiho wasn't a rebellious teen who wanted to join a rock band, no she was a child soldier who was too caught up in habits to let go.

And that was the kicker. Iwao could not explain who or what trained the girl, but someone out there did, and they had done it well. His fights with her were enjoyable, enough to bring a smile to his face and make him go all out. She fought ruthlessly, not moves to disarm or grapple but moves to kill. It truly got his blood pumping. Then he remembered her age and knew experience and skills like that didn't come naturally, especially when it wasn't from her quirk. Pile onto that the fact that she sometimes had a thousand-yard stare, too old for her body, it painted a gruesome picture. And Iwao wasn't cut out to be the wishy-washy talky kind of hero, the one that comforted or sweet-talked a traumatised kid into feeling better. He was never really good at that. He had a quirk that could have been perfect for a limelight hero, but still decided to go underground. Because he was never good at comforting any of the victims he'd helped.

But the first time he'd fought Akiho in the Underground Fight Club, he knew she wasn't the type to respond to a soft touch. Then later when he saw her face on the news plastered right alongside a ghost of his past, he knew he had to do something. So he did the one thing he knew how to do well— fight. He tracked her down and began sparring with her, never holding back, trying to wear her down bit by bit. She welcomed it with genuine excitement of her own, always holding back on instinctual killing blows because he never went for them either. She had a code. It was evident when she put away her weapons to fight on equal ground when they first met, and it was evident later when she played by the sparring rules.

When he'd offered to train her, Koichi had warned him to be careful. The ex-vigilante was always more cautious than Iwao, and possibly more suited to helping someone change their ways. But Iwao was here, and Koichi was in America. And Iwao had always been the one to follow his instincts. It hadn't led him astray so far.

Once again, he was proven right. After the girl had completed the first step to her training, she'd shot him a thousand-watt smile, the kind that couldn't have been anything but genuine and freely given. It was a brief thing, but it seemed to break down whatever wall she had put up even for a moment. And though she went back to her guarded expressions, she had eased up a little with him, even cracking the occasional joke. Underneath all that coldness was a child who was kind. He just knew it.

He hadn't been lying when he said he just wanted to help her grow. If that growth led her away from villainy that was only a bonus. He hadn't met anyone other than himself with such a drive. Not even Koichi would have agreed to this kind of training, and he had made it extra brutal, just to see how far her conviction ran. Not once had she given up or expressed a desire to leave. She trained like there was no other option. The kind of training that he'd put himself through after he lost his quirk, fighting against the throes of uselessness that had become his being. He rejected weakness like she had, but there was a hunger in her eyes for power, no not a hunger—a need. She needed it in the way people needed water. That worried him.

Despite everything, when she came back up the mountain, he was waiting for her at the top. She sagged down when she saw him, trembling limbs giving way. Then she passed out. He leaned down and pat her back proudly. If she could keep this up for the next month, he'd have finally finished her physical conditioning. He had plans for a more hands-on approach after that.

He just hoped she would come to realise that she was already plenty strong enough.

Aki could see the changes in her body in the short 10 weeks she'd been training with Oguro. The obvious muscle mass was one thing, but she'd also grown taller, and not skipping meals meant her body had finally recognised the need for a growth spurt. This made her incredibly satisfied. The idea of not being a pipsqueak for longer was glorious.

But it was the unseen changes that had her attention. The thin mountain air didn't faze her anymore, nor did the unforgiving terrain, her stamina had improved by leaps, and somehow, she could see the world in more clarity. That part caught her attention the most. It was the kind of clarity she was used to in the heat of battle, not in everyday use. Then again, she hadn't trained to near death like this even in her past life. Most of her time had been on missions. Extended periods of one-on-one training was near impossible to come to with how the war had dragged. She could count herself entirely too lucky to have stumbled across Iwao.

"You're improving a lot faster than I expected," he said.

She wisely chose not to tell him about how she was using her quirk to dose testosterone when he wasn't looking. He didn't ask either, possibly attributing her increased strength to genetics or talent.

"Thanks, Sen—old man," she said, catching herself from slipping.

He gave her a knowing look and then a teasing grin. "You can call me sensei, you know. It ain't gonna make you look weak."

She pursed her lips and turned back to pulling the logs up the mountain. Iwao laughed, only making her more embarrassed.

"Enough log pulling. It's past time you graduated onto more interesting things," he said.

Aki turned to him, her attention fully caught. Iwao grinned, all teeth, and beard in full puff from months in the mountain.

"We're going to pick some proper fights now."

And so they said goodbye to the cabin they had been calling home for the last two months.

She didn't expect to somehow end up in Iwao's home. She didn't expect it to be so homely either, even if it did seem a little neglected. There was also someone clearly living there with him even if they didn't seem to be around often. A girl. Maybe it was his daughter or a lover perhaps? She tried to imagine the battle-hungry man acting romantic with a partner and found it hard to imagine. Surely, he must have been in love at one stage in his life to have a daughter with someone else. Aki could not imagine ever getting to that stage with anyone.

"There's a spare bedroom at the end of the hallway. You can get settled there for now. I'm going to hit a proper shower," he said.

Aki nodded, walking down the hallway to see a room with a guitar mounted on the wall and several band posters. There was a pretty obnoxious one with a girl wearing a skirt so short she could see her ass there was no way it was unintentional and another very yellow poster of Present Mic. She decided to stop snooping and make her way to the spare room. As expected, it was pretty bare bones with a lot of boxes stacked on the corner since the room was being used for extra storage. Still, it was a lot better than what she had for most of this life, so she wasn't going to complain. There wasn't a stupid orange painting splattered in blood either, so that was a win.

She wondered how Six and Dabi were doing now. Her training hadn't finished so she felt reluctant to contact them. She didn't want to distract herself by thinking about them too much, so she began anew with her breathing technique, in out, in out, out for 10, and then in for 20. It was repetitive in the best way possible. Once Iwao was out of the shower, freshly shaved, and dressed casually, she made her way out of the bedroom.

"Your daughter lives here right… she won't mind me staying?" she asked.

"She wouldn't mind, and she's not here often. She travels a lot with her band," he said.

Aki wondered what that was like, travelling with friends, pursuing a passion so divorced from violence and bloodshed. She never had the choice for anything other than a Shinobi's life before, but in this world she could have done something different if she tried hard enough. However, the idea of still being in that stifling environment in the foster system reminded her why she chose otherwise. Plus it looked like her mother was gunning for her to take a familiar path anyway. She was pulled from her thoughts when Oguro handed her a 2-minute cup ramen.

"What kind of training are we going to do here that we can't do in the mountains?" she asked.

"The kind that requires hands-on experience. You're going to be an honorary vigilante with me," he said.

Aki balked at the idea. "Yeah, I'll decline old man. I'm no hero but I'm definitely not a vigilante. At least heroes get paid for their work. You lot really do it for nothing else other than you think it's the right thing to do, or because you were too weak to get a license. I don't know how your minds work, but it's useless and I refuse to be a part of this."

"I've never seen you so passionate about a topic," he said, smirking in a frustrating kind of way.

Aki glared at him. If this was just some elaborate way to get her involved in his shitty job as a vigilante, she was going to leave. Heroes were at least paid for their work. Vigilantes were weird. Who went out of their way to save random people for free? She couldn't fathom the amount of stupidity it took to put yourself in danger with little to no return on investment. There was also the added risk of being caught by the authorities who also condemned vigilantism. All in all, you had to be a brand of insane to be a vigilante.

"Don't knock it till you try it. Vigilante work doesn't have to be your forever, but once you get into it, you'll see just how exploitable and shaky villain business is."

Aki narrowed her eyes at the man. He was grinning madly at her. She knew what his game plan was. He could keep saying again and again that he just wanted to train her, that he just wanted to invest his skills in a worthy student, but she'd be blind to ignore the fact that he didn't approve of her current career path. She wasn't exactly a traditional psychotic villain, but she was a mercenary illegally using her quirk for work—which by definition made her one. The only difference between what she was doing and what he was doing, was that she often assisted crime while he fought it. One of them made more sense to do since it paid well.

If one got sentimental, they could even say that vigilantes were true heroes. Certainly, idiots like Stain held those views as well, considering he very rarely went out of his way to kill vigilantes. But Aki was not a hero by any definition of the word. She was too steeped in violence and murder, too self-serving, to be a hero. She didn't think she'd come close to the cruellest people this world had to offer, and she certainly didn't enjoy watching others suffer, but there was being decent and then there was being a hero. One was sanity and the other was not.

"Why do you do it?" she asked him.

"Be a vigilante?"

"Yeah. What's in it for you? You don't get paid. Heroes don't appreciate it. Some people even call you a villain. There's nothing to be gained, no money, no fame, no recognition."

"I do it to help people. Plus bureaucracy is overrated and sometimes a villain needs a good knuckle sandwich that would be frowned upon by pro-hero standards," he said.

"Just that… to help people?"

"Yup."

"You're insane. No one helps someone else without expecting something in return," she repeated.

Moriko's words echoed counter in her mind. Sometimes people just help without expecting anything back, because it's the decent thing to do . Aki knew it was true. She did it too sometimes, but she tried to refrain because it invited abuse. Every good person she knew either died or got taken advantage of, their bonds, their love, their goodness, were simply a stepping stone for the stronger to exploit. Aki tried to find that strength in Iwao's eyes and it was there. There was no doubt he was strong… and yet he was kind.

"I was given strength to protect those weaker than myself. Of course, I'd use it," he said.

Her heart stuttered. To protect the weak… no that couldn't be right. The strong did not protect, they dominated. There was no room for weakness in this world or any else. The weak should simply stay in their lane and pray the strong don't desire to use them as they please. There was no room for kindness without expectation. Or why would her brother have been killed for the crime of being too young to be of any use? Why did she have to suffer through watching the closest people die around her one by one unless it was because of their weakness?

"You're wrong. You're wrong old man. It's nothing but a pretty sentiment. There was never any room for them. If you're weak you die. There's nothing anyone can do about it," she hissed, blinking back tears.

Iwao laughed, though it was dry and humourless for once. His eyes went dark.

"Come with me. One week of vigilante work will be enough to show you. Since you're too thick-headed to understand with words alone," he said.

Aki nodded, unwilling to believe his words alone. Oguro ate his own ramen and turned away from her, his eyes distant.

"You'll see it soon kid. The way towards real strength."

Comments

doa570047- Yes Ochako being the traitor should have been cannon. There's nothing I hate more than a love interest whose only trait is being the love interest. They're almost always the least interesting characters because they have nothing going on outside of their crush. Which is fine if it's a romance story, but not if it's anything else. Also, Aoyama had very little time to be important enough to care about him or feel his betrayal. Ochako would have really broken Izuku's trust in this version of events. Thanks for letting me know about the issues with line breaks in the previous chapter. I usually format them in but it seems it wasn't working. Hopefull,y it's fixed now.