The Price of Pain

Chapter 21: My Heart in Your Hands

Though money had always been a motivator in her efforts, considering one needed to put food on the table to survive, it hadn't been the only reason she chose this violent lifestyle. In truth, it was difficult to imagine living peacefully with anyone, to allow someone to take care of her, when her own hands were the only ones she could trust. Everyone else was fleeting, never guaranteed another day in this world, and though neither was she, her own life ending didn't feel as tragic when there had been no one to leave behind.

Right now she felt like she was tethering on the edge of no return. Iwao Oguro had bulldozed through her exterior and had her calling him sensei and old man almost fondly. Aki was sharing meals with him, sleeping in his house, calling it a night, and watching movies she'd never bothered to see before. Oguro had a large collection of pre-quirk era movies, though they were copies rather than originals at this stage. It was always something about old-timey Westerns that Oguro had a large collection of. Aki was grateful for the subtitles because she'd never learned English before.

They were okay movies, a little cheesy, with clear-cut heroes and villains. However, the wild-west frontiers made it feel a little looser with what exactly justice entailed. She wondered if that was why Oguro liked them. She couldn't imagine him as a by-the-books pro-hero, working with agencies and teammates. She knew the loner type when she saw one. He struggled to properly communicate the mission parameters to her. She didn't expect him to excel in group work though, so it wasn't a problem for her. It helped that she was beginning to be able to read him.

"What movie do you want to watch today?" he asked.

"You keep forgetting I know nothing about all of them," she pointed out.

"Fine, I'll pick. This one's actually Indian though, but it's a favourite of mine," he said.

Aki ended up sitting down to watch Sholay with him, and once again she was entertained. They ate their stir fry in silence mostly. Aki was pretty into the movie until she heard the door handle creak. Working mostly on instinct, she pulled out her kunai, jumped over the couch and down into the hallway, right in time to pin the intruder onto the ground. Oguro followed and Aki pinned down the panicked intruder hands behind her back.

"Dad!"

Dad? This was Oguro's daughter? Aki waited for a confirmation from the old man before she pulled off the older girl and sheepishly helped her up.

"You're back earlier than expected," Oguro said.

"And you bought a guest who nearly killed me," she added, glaring at the two of them.

Aki sighed. Hadn't the old man told his own kid someone dangerous was staying over? Just how reckless was the man? Unwilling to get on her sensei's bad side she decided to bow and apologise. Hopefully, she'd be considered non-threatening enough that she wouldn't want Aki out.

"My apologies. I didn't know sensei hadn't told you about my presence here. Though I won't be staying for too long," she said.

The girl looked a little sheepish, her irritation melting away as she rubbed her nose and smiled awkwardly at Aki.

"Ah, don't worry about it. No need to speak to me formally. You can call me Tamao! None of that Oguro-san bullshit I get from the younger ones these days!"

"Thanks Tamao-san," Aki decided to settle on.

The young adult then began to chew out her father for not warning either of them about the other. Aki pulled out her popcorn again, watching in amusement as the old man was pulled by his cheek and reprimanded like Tamao was his mother. Though Iwao's eyes softened, and he seemed to mellow out a lot in Tamao's presence, he seemed a little reserved. Aki could see it in the way the man's guilt seemed to shine through the fondness, especially when he looked at the eye patch on one part of her face. Aki didn't really know what the backstory there was, but she was admittedly curious.

"Sholay, huh? Dad's got you watching his terrible pre-quirk movies kid?" Tamao asked.

"They're not too bad," Aki said.

Tamao gave her an odd look. "So sensei, huh? You're that kid on the news, the Villain that hangs around with the psycho bomber."

"You're taking this well. Why are you so blasé about a Villain suddenly crashing in your home?" Aki asked, a flicker of suspicion mentally preparing herself to be attacked.

"Cause Dad may be a reckless idiot, but he's not bad with his instincts. He wouldn't teach someone if he didn't see the good in them. And believe it or not he'll do everything in his power to save you if you do go down the dark side. Heh… he beat me to a pulp—well the me that was being controlled by a bug inside my head."

Aki blinked in surprise. Now she really needed to know this story. Thankfully Tamao wasn't one to be mysterious and went on a spiel about how she was body snatched by a Villain called Queen Bee, and how her father had to stop her heart and resuscitate her to get her back.

"So the old man killed you, then gouged out your eye and pulled out a parasitic bee villain, then hinged your entire life on cpr to bring you back… heisinsane," Aki mumbled.

Tamao laughed, though there was a raw edge to it. She wiped away a tear and went back to sipping her can of beer. Whatever traumatic memory she was thinking off wasn't bad enough to stop a soft smile that crept up.

"He really is insane, but he did the impossible and brought me back. I can't express how uncomfortable it was to be a passenger in my own mind, like a consciousness with no body to control for years. I didn't even mind that he killed me. I thought that had been the end of it and I'd made peace with that and knowing he'd ended my suffering—but the stubborn old man somehow gave me a happy ending. Anyway, enough to talk about me. What's your story? How'd you end up with Nomura?"

Aki grimaced at the reminder of the man. She didn't expect to be asked about her own story. She hadn't really been intending to get into it anyway. Tamao seemed incredibly lax and didn't seem the type to cry about Aki's story to the world, but even still she didn't wish to dwell into details.

"Believe it or not, he was a good deed. I found his regenerating form and knew he had a conscience in there somewhere. It felt wrong to leave something like that to die, so I took him back home and the rest is history," she said.

Tamao turned to Aki with a harsher expression on her face now. "If you don't plan on cutting ties with Nomura, I suggest you do so with my dad."

"What—"

"I mean it. That freak will come after him again, and Dad barely got out alive the last time they fought. Nomura took out his knees, and he'll never fully recover from that. But back then he was obsessed with who Dad used to be, and that had kept him alive. If he found out about your—whatever it is you're doing with dad, and decided to fight him again… well he won't stand a chance. You'll get him killed."

Soft things die

Oguro Iwao was not soft, Aki reminded herself. He kept up with her in physical combat, and despite being past his prime he sometimes even outmatched her in stamina and strength. Yet she knew her own limitations and by extension Iwao's. She couldn't beat Six and neither could he.

She hadn't intended to get attached to the old Vigilante. Knuckleduster was just meant to be another teacher, but suddenly he became 'sensei' and 'old man'. Aki had gotten attached and all she could hear in her head was her mother's warnings. She felt her stomach coil in uncertainty. Should she leave? Could she deal with being the downfall of another sensei?

"Don't get cold feet, kid. I'm just telling you to choose Dad. I guarantee you, he cares. He's not the best at showing it, heck he probably will never say the words 'I love you' even when you're on death's door, but he really does. Heck, he hasn't been this invested in anyone since Koichi," she said.

"Right… everyone keeps telling me to leave Six. But he's never hurt me—never expressed any desire for that either," Aki challenged.

"Hasn't he? People don't have to want to kill or beat you up to hurt you. Sometimes they just want control" she said, grimacing as she recollected her experience with the Queen Bee.

Those words seemed to hit her like a truck. Aki didn't know what to say to that and was grateful when Iwao walked into the room and decided to change the subject. She played those words again and again through her mind, trying to figure out a rebuttal to it. Aki couldn't find the words, not even when Iwao recommended they continue the movie again. She dismissed herself, telling herself it was getting late, and that she'd need to go to bed.

And as she pulled the covers over herself, all she could think off was the panic in her little brother's eyes as she held his bleeding neck closed, and he died choking on his own blood. It hurt—it hurt so much. Sometimes she wondered if it would ever stop hurting. She had witnessed so many gorier deaths, gone through far more painful wounds, and yet this one stuck to her the longest. More aching than the feeling of numb disgust after she'd slept with the enemy, even longer than her first kill, or the death of her sensei and her teammates. Tamao was right— Six wouldn't need to want to kill her to hurt her. And yet as uncomfortable as she was around him, he hadn't done it yet, and he'd promised to never leave.

Aki saw power in Six. More power than she'd ever seen in any other person here, pro-hero or villain. The power to level entire city blocks. Sans All Might himself, she struggled to imagine anyone beating Six, laughed at the idea that anyone would be able to take him away from her—not even Haimawari Koichi. Oguro was just a man at the end of the day.

Only monsters survive in this world.

Recon was her strong suite. Aki was finally in her element as Knuckleduster had her dig into local drug rings and see what she could find about the circulation of Trigger going around. It wasn't difficult finding the type of clothes to look like an addict, nor was it difficult emulating their speech patterns and frequenting their localities. Aki was approached soon with either creeps looking to get her high and traffic her, or just dealers who wanted to get their next job done. She stayed away from traffickers. They weren't part of her current mission. She just needed to buy from a seller and then follow them wherever they went.

"2 bags for $200. It'll get you a good hit," the lanky man said, muffled through his face mask.

"$200 and drop a molly pill," she negotiated, more out of pure habit than any need for the extra pill.

"$250. With the molly. Take it or leave it kid."

"Fine. Here's the cash," she said.

The man grunted and dropped the bag in her hand. Aki pretended to fall over, leaning on him just long enough to drop a tracker into his side pocket. She apologised a little dispassionately considering her checked out performance, before making her way to the nearby rooftop Knuckleduster was on. He stopped watching the drug dealer from his binoculars to hold out his hands for the drugs. Aki silently raised a brow, but he didn't budge. A little miffed that he didn't trust her with drugs, she handed it over to him.

"What's with the pill?" he asked.

"I ended up haggling…"

"You realise we don't actually want to use the drugs, right?" he said.

"…"

Knuckleduster sighed. "What's the location?"

"East side. Once he makes his layover and stops at his house, I can get close enough to hack into his home security," Aki said.

"Good, in the meantime we can tag some other ones. Don't haggle for more drugs unless it's Trigger," he added on.

"I won't," Aki huffed, before jumping off onto the next rooftop.

She began her hunt to follow her quarry. They doubled down a few streets, coming around the back and following through. Behind her the sun was setting, shrouding the city in one last blast of gold before the shadows enveloped the city into darkness. Aki didn't find the darkness all that scary. Countless nights alone in the woods would do that to a person. But that didn't mean she underestimated the shadows. It hid things in its dark corners, shrouding those that wished to hide and found the same kind of comfort in its anonymity. Years of honing her instincts told her there was danger lurking. Aki pinpointed the feeling, turning around and running towards it. There was no point pretending not to notice and continue on her way, not when someone was hunting her. She didn't appreciate being hunted.

Aki whipped around and threw out a kunai. Her shadow blocked the throw and she froze at the familiar silhouette. A familiar figure stood shrouded in darkness, but the presence was enough of a reminder of a very unsavoury memory. Aki pulled out her katana, unwilling to take any chances.

"You. What do you want now?"

"Can't a mother just come to visit her daughter?" the woman asked coyly.

"You aren't my mother," Aki said, jaw clenching tightly.

"Oh? Did I miss giving birth to you?" the woman asked sarcastically.

Aki didn't reply. Instead she got into a battle stance. Frustratingly the woman seemed to ignore her, treating this situation like it was a joke. In that moment she felt... indignation. She was capable of taking care of herself the moment she could walk, but what child wouldn't crave for a parent who cared for them? How long had she fantasised about her long-lost mother finding her again, apologising for abandoning her, and taking her into a loving home. Maybe she could have learnt to live like a normal girl, to love, and laugh, and show kindness freely.

There was no chance for that now. Her childhood had been taken from her twice over. At least in her first one she had the closure of knowing it was out of her mother's hands. But to be thrown away so brazenly by both her parents. She felt like a discarded soda can, sucked dry, and crushed.

"You lost your right to call yourself that the moment you left me, and I raised myself. I have no mother. I need no mother. But for the sake of blood ties, I will allow you to leave alive as long as I don't have to suffer your presence again," Aki hissed.

"Oh my so much bite. You really are my daughter whether you like it or not," she laughed again before she sobered up just a little. "I think we got off on the wrong foot. With Number Six around it was hard to keep my cool. You shouldn't hang out with faulty products, not when you're perfectly made. My name is Rukiya. See now we're not strangers and you don't even have to call me mother!"

"Leave," Aki repeated, taking a step forward.

"What kind of mother would leave without disciplining her child? Why, I want you to really think about what I told you before about making mistakes and getting soft."

"You don't get to tell me what to do. I will give one more warning before I cut you down," Aki said, beginning to lose her patience.

Her mother laughed. It was becoming clear she didn't care what Aki thought about the matter. All that mattered was what she wanted. Clearly whatever that was entailed isolating her in some form.

"Good luck trying child. You aren't at my level yet, and you may never be unless you accept my guidance. That quirkless by-product of a man you are with right now is leading you astray. Come to me, and I'll show you true strength," she offered with wide open arms.

"Don't underestimate sensei just because he's quirkless. I would not associate with someone soft. You reminded me of that lesson at least."

And she hadn't shown up to connect with her, or to do the duties of a mother, but to threaten the first adult in her life here who'd bothered with taking her in despite how little she could give. Indignation and rebellion stirred within her. What little of her that had been chained to authority, taught to follow orders, broke into something ugly. Why should she listen to a woman who seemed to bring nothing but pain and cryptic warnings? Why should she put up with more abuse, simply to try and win the love of another parent that just didn't want her—that would inevitable leave her voluntarily or not?

Rukiya was wrong. Knuckleduster was strong. Oguro Iwao was a quirkless man that rose above expectations. A quirkless man that nearly beat Six with no powers and just preparation. If anyone was weak, it was that bastard woman who couldn't speak plainly to the child she'd abandoned.

"I'd rather die than be bound to you woman," she said, rushing the woman.

Rukiya's smile dropped as she threw her quirk out in waves. The artificial terror made Aki's head spin as her descent slowed as her stomachs contents made its way up.

"It seems girl, that you will only learn through experience. Don't worry, I will be back."

Rukiya disappeared in a swirl of black smoke. Aki got up shaking with rage and wiped the vomit from her chin. She couldn't run after the woman for now. Not until she found a way to defeat someone who could turn into mist and incapacitate with just her presence. She would wait.

Suddenly she wasn't so sure she would be opposed to killing her own mother. Maybe Dabi was onto something.

But all that didn't matter if she lost one more time. Aki rushed to find the Vigilante. Her feet did not stop despite the way it shook from the aftereffects of an adrenaline crash. She did not stop until she saw his back, and until he turned to face her alive and standing.

"Kid?"

Suddenly her body gave way and Aki leaned against the nearby wall and allowed a moment to catch her breath. Iwao was next to her not a moment later, pulling up a crate for her to sit down on. She barely noticed the person he was talking to as the man nodded in silent understanding and left. Aki sucked in a breath of relief.

He was alive.

She hadn't arrived too late to another 'warning' from her mother. She rubbed her face and then ran her fingers through her hair, bending over to catch her breath. Her heart was still thundering in her chest, and her world still blurred around the edges. She felt like she was stuck in a bad dream.

"Akiho, look at me kid," Iwao's said, coaxing her out of her shell.

Even through the face mask she could see his concern. Unfiltered and easily given. Weakness. But it felt comforting. The way he was there in itself was a comfort. The way Dabi felt sometimes too. Like she wasn't alone in the world entirely. There was still someone there... maybe. She wasn't sure anymore.

"What happened?"

"You're not safe. I need to go," she blurted out.

"Why don't you start from the top, huh. Start making some sense kid," he said.

Aki took in a deep breath and wondered where to begin. With the fact that her mother had raped her father to give birth to her just for her quirk. Or the fact that she'd come back 14 years later just to beat her up again. Maybe she would start off with the bombshell that Aki was now fairly certain Iwao's tormentor, the one that took away his quirk, was somehow working with the woman. She just… didn't know where to start.

"If you don't tell me what's wrong, I won't know how to help," he sighed.

"It's my...mother," Aki said, biting the word out like it was a curse. She ducked her head, ashamed to voice out the rest of the story.

"It wasn't quirk marriage, but she had me specifically for my quirk. She… she admitted to having several children and then killing them once they didn't show promise…"

"Fucking hell," Knuckleduster cursed, sounding like he was about to break the bottle he was holding. Aki understood his anger.

"That's not all. Now she's deemed me worthy all of a sudden, and she's coming for anything she considers a weakness."

"Alright let me guess, she considers me weak, yeah?" Iwao asked.

Aki nodded and clenched her fists in rage. "She's... she's like Six."

"What do yah mean?"

"She's got two quirks. Went on about someone strong, someone who could give and take quirks," Aki said, looking at Iwao's eyes.

The man froze for a second, his calm facade dropping for a moment as he grimaced. Then he knelt in front of her. Aki tried not to cry at the thought of her dead half-siblings. She wanted to rage at the world as it occurred to her how late she was to help them. Now she was going to get Iwao killed too.

"Hey, hey don't go off falling into self-pity kid. You're not ditching me for some shithead woman whose threatening me. Do you trust me?"

"I do, but she's strong," Aki insisted.

"Do you trust me?" He repeated.

"Yes..."

"I won't let her hurt you again, you hear me? Whatever it was that she threatened you with, its a classic case of scaring someone into going it alone. It'll just make you more of a target. Easy pickings."

Aki knew that logically. What better way to get someone under your thumb than to rip them off any ally they have? But she was already breaking a Shinobi rule by showing weakness and crying. She had proven herself to be a failure time and time again. One more loss… and she didn't know what would happen to her. But the way Iwao was looking at her with full clarity and confidence, made her hesitate. Maybe this was the one time she could ask for help. Maybe this time it would turn out alright.

"If I call for help will you take it?"

"Will it be a hero?"

She could ask Dabi and Six for help. But it wasn't them her mother was after. It was Oguro Iwao, a man she knew by name, a man she knew was quirkless with certainty. Most people thought he was physically enhanced. His quirkless status was not known. Whoever it was that took away his quirk was connected to Rukiya. Aki hated the well of resentment inside of her. Rage she could handle. Anger was a close companion. But this ugly growing hate and resentment towards a person left her feeling disgusted.

"Kiddo, look at me. I won't call a hero if it will make you uncomfortable. Well... if we're speaking technicalities."

Aki sighed.

"Who do you have in mind?"

"Just an old friend."

When she agreed, she felt like she was putting her entire heart into his hands.

A/N

Just realised I accidentally posted the wrong chapter on the wrong story ToT Here's my reposting haha.

Comments

Doa570047- Her brother being the catalyst for a worldview that continued on past her first death was a major part of what made her who she was, but I didn't want to revolve her entire personality around it. She does hold a special place in her heart for family because of him, but part of writing a character like that for me is to see what it would take to break such a bond too. And her mother is definitely the kind of asshole that would break the bond. Of course I'm also going to explore what it would take for Aki to truly love someone fully in the future (not romantically, I don't think I want to write a romance for her) but it may take some time to build her up to that. But you're right, no one in Naruto is exempt from how messed up their world can be.