"Live."

This was the command Iskandar gave Waver twenty years ago before marching towards Gilgamesh, knowing full well that he would not survive. The boy watched with tears in his eyes as the man who he called an idol, the one who he was ready to follow to the end of the world, met his untimely demise. This was the day that defined Waver's life, the loss that made him take his mentor's place. He only knew for a few days, but this experience was enough to change Waver's life and turn him into the man he is today.

At first, he dreamed of reuniting with Iskandar, showing him that he fulfilled his order and lived to the fullest, that he changed the world around him and left a proper mark. Waver even wanted to join the next Holy Grail War for an opportunity to see Rider again, but by the time it began, he already let go of this dream. After all, Iskandar would not remember their time together, and whatever achievements Waver accomplished would only have superficial meaning to him. A disappointing reality that he had to accept…Now, Waver was able to leave Iskandar's shadow, become a man of his own, and fight his own battles, only to be met by his own friend at a time most contemptuous.

This time, Iskandar was on the enemy side, and Waver couldn't think of anything else ever since getting his confirmation. They would have to look each other in the eyes again, but Rider would not remember the past. What will he think of Lord El-Melloi the second, of the man Waver became? He didn't know and wasn't sure if he wanted to know. Merely trying to envision this moment was enough to make Waver's hands shake. He knew that there was no way to reunite with Alexander, he remembered, but he still couldn't help but maintain his curiosity.

When Waver picked a fitting moment, he approached the shadowy servant who guarded the estate. Assassin was quick to notice his approach, and by the time Waver found him, the servant was on the balcony, about to leave.

"Wait," Waver said confidently, garnering Assassin's attention.

"What do you want? My master sent me on a scouting mission, and I am about to go."

"I just wish to ask a few questions, it won't take long." Waver said as calmly as he could, trying to hide his chaotic heartbeat.

"You are fortunate to be my master's ally…Speak."

"I studied the history of the Holy Grail wars in detail; I know that you have been summoned before. Multiple masters of the mountain fought as the designated Assassins…Including you. According to our records, you were among the summoned servants in the Second Holy Grail War."

"And why does it matter to you? "

"I wanted to know…If you remember anything from those times. Servants are not supposed to. This is true for the vast majority of them, but…Perhaps there are a few flashes, some words others said to you, maybe targets that you were sent to eliminate…Anything at all." Waver asked, making Assassin pause and remain silent for a few moments, as if he tried to remember himself. The answer was just like Waver expected.

"Not a single thing. If I had been a part of that War, I would have long forgotten it. There was only one time I was summoned into your world, and that was to take part in the War unfolding now."

"I see."

"Does that answer your question?"

"Yes, I suppose…"

"What makes you so curious about the past wars and their servants? I was under the impression that you mages prefer to peer into the future rather than linger on the past."

"I try to do that most of the time…But let's just say I have one very particular memory I can't let go of yet."

"We all have one." Hassan said quietly. "Guard my master until I have returned."

"You have my word," Waver reassured him, and Assassin finally jumped off the balcony, disappearing into the shadows. Waver took a deep breath, thinking that he was alone for a moment, but soon, he heard the voice of an arrogant King echoing from behind him.

"Struggling with letting go of memories?" Gilgamesh spoke with intrigue as he slowly walked to the balcony. Even now, Waver couldn't help but feel a sting of unease the moment he saw the Golden King. He was different from the one Waver remembered, and not only in terms of his class. His words sounded softer, calmer, even wiser. Yet no matter how much Waver tried to reject this memory, all he could see was Gilgamesh extinguishing life from Iskandar and his imposing shadow towering over Waver, the moment of pure, unfiltered horror that destroyed Waver's idol. "If you want some advice on how to let go, then make sure to make each of your next memories overshadow the previous one. When your life is in an upward spiral, you have no room for regrets. For me, destroying my treasury's greatest possession seems like a fitting next step."

"Not everyone is in a position to maintain such a lifestyle." Waver looked up into Gilgamesh's eyes, trying to maintain his posture and show no fear.

"Only because people like to use it as an excuse to avoid perfecting themselves."

"And I suppose you don't have any memories of past wars, either?"

"No, I do not." Gilgamesh shrugged. "And if so, that means I didn't need them much in the first place."

If only Waver could have such confidence...But even after twenty years, he couldn't dream of having this dedication.

"Waver!" He heard Rin's voice from the nearest door. "Come here, I gathered some new information about Angra Mainyu. We need to discuss it."

"Yes...Yes, it is for the best."

It was best to distract himself until the inevitable moment of 'reunion' arrived.

…

After Sakura officially joined the Dismantlement coalition, she could finally take a short break. Now that all of the masters and servants were unmasked, the group had to carefully plan their next step. That was left to Rin and Lord El-Melloi, while Sakura was content to go along with the flow and support her friends wherever they needed her the most. For now, she sat in the dining room and pondered to herself. There were some matters to clear up before they continued the War; Sakura knew that much, even if she couldn't force herself to act.

"Hey, Sakura." The girl raised her eyes as she heard Shirou's voice. She recognized it, but he sounded very different from how he sounded when they reunited. His voice was calmer and softer and even a little awkward, much like the boy she remembered from ten years ago. He carried two cups in his hands.

"Are you alright, Shirou?"

"I…Yeah, just made you some tea and thought you might want some, as well." He smiled and put one of the cups beside Sakura, quickly taking a seat at the table afterward.

"Thank you." Sakura smiled warmly and took a sip. "It's… It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Yeah," Shirou responded quietly. "I should've returned and checked on you much sooner, and I didn't need an extra reason like another Holy Grail War… I'm sorry."

"It's alright, I'm sure you had a lot to do!" Sakura reassured him, though she could see that it wouldn't work. There was much guilt inside Shirou's heart, and if she were to reveal the truth, he would hurt even more…But Sakura knew that Shirou himself would prefer to know the truth instead of comforting himself with delusions and ignorance. "How was it? I mean, those years. You've made quite a name for yourself."

"It hasn't been a smooth sail, and many didn't trust me at first, but I worked my way up. First, making favors with the police, then with the general populace…I perfected my magic, using it to save as many people as possible." As Shirou spoke those words, he looked away in shame. "I fought criminals, saved people from hurricanes and tsunamis, traveled across the world, never left this path for an entire decade…"

"I knew you had it in you, Shirou; you were always meant to be a hero, both in heart and strength. But why…Why do you sound so hurt when talking about it?" Sakura wondered. "Isn't this one of your greatest achievements? You should be proud of your path."

"It's complicated…" Shirou took a deep breath before looking at Sakura. "Truth be told, I never shared it with anyone before, but if there's anyone who deserves to know, it is you. I always wanted to save people and help as many as possible, even if it meant sacrificing my life and well-being, but that's not all. There were many times I faced doubt on my path, many times when my faith in people was challenged, and sometimes I even considered abandoning it…But there was a dream that kept me going. A dream that does not involve anyone but me…And her."

"Are you talking about Saber?" Sakura asked, making Shirou flinch in surprise, but he quickly returned to his calm demeanor.

"Yes, though I suppose now that this title was claimed by another, it's better if I call her Artoria. Ever since we said our goodbyes, I thought that I could let go and move on, just like I told her to do…But I was lying to myself. I kept thinking and dreaming of her throughout this decade; I always heard her voice in my head again and again. Her confession, her embrace, all which I experienced in those two weeks, I lived over again and again…As pathetic as it sounds, I could never let go of the woman from the past that was before me on that day." The way he spoke of Artoria with such affection and genuine love…Those words clawed their way deep into Sakura's heart. She always dreamed of seeing him speak of her in this way, dedicating himself to her and confessing his love. But in the end, Shirou was an idealist; he was pure of heart, and that's why Sakura loved him, and this was the exact quality that separated them. Just like he rejected the notion of a peaceful life and instead chose to chase an ideal, when it came to love, he chose to love an ideal. A hero like himself. "She was a hero in her life. She became a King, dedicating her life and her death to her people. She was a valiant knight who fought until the end, and if she truly found peace…I believe she is in a better world now." Shirou said as a lone tear fell from his eye. "Avalon, a paradise for heroes, a place she deserved after all the trials she faced. One day, I want to meet her there, to look into her eyes once again…And for this to happen, I must deserve it, too. But the more I think of it, the more I realize that this selfish desire, it…It stops me from being truly pure. What if what truly guides me is my love for Artoria alone? What kind of hero I am if that is the case? A pathetic one…"

"No," Sakura spoke up. "Never call yourself that. You are not pathetic, Shirou, and have never been. You've lost your family and had to fight in that horrible War, but you endured. You saved Fuyuki on that night and many people in the years after. You are among the most heroic people on this planet, and I have no doubt about it. After all you've done and seen, there is no shame in admitting that you want something for yourself. That you want to experience love…That you deserve it." She had to fight this shame for years, even after gaining freedom, and Sakura did not want Shirou to follow the same path."

"I…Thank you, Sakura." Shirou smiled.

"If you feel even a little better, there is no need."

"I do, truly…Sorry for the long rant; we should really focus on stopping other masters, especially the self-proclaimed 'Vortex.'" Shirou stood up and put his tea away after finishing it. He was about to leave the room, and Sakura sat there like some naive fool, unable to say the truth that was on her mind. She thought that she would allow him to live in ignorance for a while longer. However, before Shirou left, he paused and turned around. "And also…You were there when Illya died, weren't you? Now I know that she didn't have long, even without that illness, and…I was a fool who left her and didn't look back until it was too late. Did she at least have someone by her side? I hope she did not die alone…" The same words forced the flashes of the past to emerge in front of Sakura's eyes. The promise she forsaken and the friend she lost. She knew she wouldn't be able to lie about this, not without further betraying Illya.

"Shirou, I…"

"Yes?"

"Can you sit down, please? I have something important to tell you. It's not just about Illya but also about her and…I don't know how to explain."

"It's alright, I'm listening." Shirou said as he took his seat beside Sakura with his eyes full of curiosity.

"But can you promise me two things before I tell you? First, I know some of it will sound outlandish, but it is all the truth…I need you to believe me."

"Of course, I would never suspect you of lying."

"And second…Whatever I tell you, please know that none of it is your fault. Not a single thing. It was mine and Illya's choice to conceal parts of the truth, and both of us paid for it, just…You don't have to take on this burden." She said, noticing worry in Shirou's eyes.

"If it's something important, I have to know."

"Of course…" Sakura took a deep breath. "But it's hard to even begin; it's…Ever since we first met, there was a lot I didn't tell you."

"I know that Matous was a mage family, Shinji told me a little about it, and as I said, I did my own research after the war."

"I imagine you did your research using the Association's materials, and there are some things they don't want outsiders to know."

"For example?"

"I am not a Matou." Sakura let out, creating a moment of awkward silence between the two. She knew that Shirou will have a lot to process, and there was no reason to hold back. "I changed my name now, yes, but I wasn't born Matou, either. Zouken Matou, the head of the family, made an arrangement with my father so he coukd adopt me when I was a young girl."

"So you are not related to them…And Shinji was never your brother?"

"Not by blood, no."

"And why would your father give his own daughter to another family?"

"I wish I knew for sure…I suppose he wanted me to realize my potential. As you probably know, only one child inherits the magical secrets of a noble family. Zouken needed an heir since Shinji couldn't use magic, but my father had an heir already. See, I was the younger daughter in my family, and I wasn't destined to inherit our magic. This is why he sent me away, my own father…" She took a deep breath. "His name was Tokiomi Tohsaka." She said coldly, making Shirou freeze on the spot. Finally, she admitted to the truth she tried to hide for a long time. There was no going back after this. She will tell him everything here and now.

"You…You are Rin's…"

"I am her sister. And we both know that we just…Hid it from you ten years ago."

"That explains how you were so familiar with each other, but… It's just…All this time?"

"I'm sorry about this, Shirou, I know I should've told you earlier…But even that is not the end of it. Zouken didn't need an heir; he needed a vessel. He lived for hundreds of years, and everyone in the Matou family was just a pawn for him. I was a special case because of my talent…You know how Illya became the vessel for the Holy Grail ten years ago? He tried to do the same thing to me. He…" Sakura's lips quivered. "He infused me with the shards of the fourth Grail and then imbued me with his…Worms."

"Worms? I don't understand, what are you talking about?" Shirou said with fearful unease in his voice.

"This was the only way Zouken could live his long, to support his spirit with magecraft. His body was entirely made up of worms from his magic crest. He…" Sakura felt tears streaming down her eyes as she involuntarily relived the pain of her torture. "He forced me into the worm pit and kept me there for days! Over and over again…He had them sink into my flesh, poison my blood, cause me immense pain, drive me crazy, and…It would never end; it would continue without end…He enjoyed it, too, and enjoyed making my life hell! All of this so he could break me and turn me into his puppet, an experimental lesser Grail that would become a stepping stone for him to achieve immortality." At this point, Sakura was weeping, and she saw more tears emerging in Shirou's eyes as she continued to confess. He listened to her in complete silence, shocked and horrified by what he was hearing.

"But does that mean that when you were visiting me…"

"I was still going through this process almost every night…I beg you, Shirou, please don't blame yourself; I did my best to hide this truth from you. You were the only person who showed kindness to me, who genuinely liked spending time with me, and I loved spending time with you, too! Our moments were what kept me going, reminded me that there was a reason to live…"

"But why…If you told me the truth, I would've helped you, I would've killed that old man if I had to, I would've done everything!"

"If I told you anything, Zouken would hurt me even more; his worms were inside me, after all…And he would kill you, and I would never endanger you. Even during the Grail War, Shinji wasn't Rider's true master. The Grail chose me, but I didn't want to fight anyone, especially you. I gave her away to Shinji, I really wanted to escape this responsibility, and it ended up killing him."

"So you are saying I left Fuyuki to save others, and all this time you were suffering, and I didn't even…" Shirou clung to his head with his shaking hands. "God, I…I…No, no, no, no! I couldn't have been that blind, I…No, it is wrong; it is all wrong!"

"You couldn't have known…And besides, I didn't have to wait long before I was saved. Illya came to my rescue…We became friends after the War, we knew that we both were of mage families…She found allies, Souichirou Kuzuki among them, and challenged Zouken when he was about to destroy my sanity for good. They succeeded and killed Zouken. Illya helped me break free from his control, to purge the worms from my body…But Zouken mortally wounded before she could kill him."

"No…"

"This story about illness… It's a lie so that people wouldn't ask questions. She died on the day she set me free, and she asked me only one thing…I gave her a promise that I would seek you out on her behalf and tell her that the man who adopted you, Kiritsugu Emiya, was her biological father, that she saw you as a brother even though you were not related…I believe she enjoyed it. This thought and your kindness were some of her warmest memories, she told me as much."

"I…" Shirou tried to form words as his hands began to shake. "All this time…I failed her, I failed both of you…I should've helped you; I should've found a way to keep Illya alive, and all I did was run away chasing a dream. I… I'm sorry…" Shirou couldn't hold back the stream of tears, quickly turning into a sobbing mess. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

"It's okay." Sakura wiped some of Shirou's tears, all while allowing her own to fall, and hugged the pained man before her. "I don't think you did anything wrong, but I knew you would ask for forgiveness anyway…And I forgive you. I forgave you long ago."

At long last, the moment of honesty, a moment of true freedom. All Sakura could hope for was Illya watching from the skies, watching the two people she cherished so deeply cry in each other's arms, allowing themselves to be vulnerable, allowing their hope for a brighter future to reign over their sorrow. It would get better now that they were back together…

They knew it.