Meditations

by SqueakOrcm

A series of "things unto myself" that I have contemplated since venturing into the book- and movie-verse of Hannibal Lecter (and his darling Clarice Starling). I hope these musings will enrich you as they have me. *Note* These musings mainly follow what (could have) happened after the book canon, although there are interweaved aspects from the movies.

2. They Say

II. They Say

(Hannibal addresses what people say about him and Clarice Starling)

They say

I am a monster: antisocial and deranged.

There is no way I am capable of normal emotion: of love.

"Lust is us," they say. "Then we rust, dust."

"Romance is just torture mixed with sex [to me] ," they attest,

"Gag reflexes at the edge of death

As you take your last breath."

..

They say,

"I will tranquilize and murder-fuck you,"

Recreating countless (supposed) exchanges, scenarios in my mind.

"I will sodomize and lobotomize [you] ,

Tear you in half, study each side and compare you…"

…To (supposedly) the multitude of women I (must have) seduced and consumed in my past.

Finally, "I will cook and eat you,

Consummating the black magic of fear, pain, and murderous bedlam,"

The only thing I am (suppose to be) capable of.

..

They say

So much of who I am.

So, my salt and light, is that what I have given you?

Have I tranquilized you for my own pleasure,

Or did I forego my comforts to sooth your soul?

Have I sodomized and lobotomized?

Perhaps the latter,

But only because he discourteously threatened you with the former (and, perhaps, actually committed on others. Would not surprise me, given his bedfellow).

Oh, I know the torment of being split in two, being studied and compared.

The bedlam of indignity as other males snigger and use you for their own fear and pain.

..

That is why I would never do unto you what

They say I am capable of.

Love: while hard to define, is purely distilled

When one has nothing left.

That is all I have to give to you,

Despite what

They say

It is.

...

(Note: Parts in quotations are adapted from lyrics in "I Like It Rough," by the Insane Clown Posse [ICP]. Horrorcore fits the Lecterverse quite well and, interestingly enough, the song is a "controversial"ending [track] from what is expected in ICP's Dark Carnival albums. I think this similarity with the endlessly-debated book ending of Hannibal is quite amusing.)

(Editorial Note: If anyone has a better way of indicating paragraph changes on this writing platform, let me know! I've decided for ease of reading to use a ".." to indicate a new paragraph. Pointers from veterans are appreciated!)