Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 32
Thaddeus and Thor
Candace couldn't describe how frustrated she was. She tried being nice, she tried to avoid busting the boys, all so she wouldn't let her nightmare come true, but they didn't care.
First, they built that fancy restaurant, and made sure to let everyone except Candace in.
Then, she tried to teach them proper parenting when they thought Perry laid an egg, and it resulted in all three of them getting in trouble. Of course the boys would pin the blame on Candace.
Candace was snapped out of her thoughts when Linda called her.
"Alright, Candace," she said. "I'm off to the grocery store. You're in charge."
"You mean I'm in control of everything around here while you're gone?" Candace asked for clarification.
"Yes."
"Including Phineas and Ferb?"
"Suddenly, I'm scared, but yes. I'll be back later."
Phineas and Ferb sat under the tree trying to figure out what to do.
"Oh boys!" Candace called.
Oh no, Phineas thought to himself.
Candace approached the two.
"Hear ye, hear ye," she announced. "Mom has left me in charge, so I hereby demand that you do nothing crazy today! No woozy-whatsits or goozy-mahookoffs. In other words, don't be the most annoying brothers in the world!"
"Your brothers are annoying you too?" asked a voice.
The three turned to see a girl around Candace's age enter the backyard. She had long, curly, brown hair. She wore a light blue T-shirt, blue jeans, and gray shoes.
"Hi, I'm Mandy," she introduced herself. "And me and my world's most annoying brothers are visiting our aunt next door for the weekend."
"Oh, you're Mrs. Weaver's niece," Candace realized. "You have annoying brothers?"
"Oh my gosh. My brothers, Thaddeus and Thor, are constantly building the most annoying contraptions on Earth. Soapbox cars with lawn mower engines, tire swings that launch over the roof, a mini-shopping center for the cat…"
Candace didn't know how excited she was, but she definitely was excited. "Finally! Someone who relates! Listen to how annoying Phineas and Ferb are."
While the girls were talking, two boys entered the backyard.
The first boy kinda looked like Phineas, only he was a bit more thin, and his head was a bit less triangular. He had dirty blonde hair in an afro. He wore glasses, a green shirt, brown pants with suspenders, and red shoes.
The second bore a bit of a resemblance to Ferb. He had a rectangular head, but with a rounder nose. He had light blonde hair in a bowl cut. He wore a blue T-shirt, black shorts, and dark gray shoes.
The first boy snapped his fingers.
"Gum me," he demanded.
The second boy gave the first a gumball. He chewed the ball, then blew a big bubble.
"'Sup, chumps?" he greeted, gesturing to himself, then the second boy. "Thaddeus, Thor. Overheard you two like to build stuff. Where we're from, we're known as the best. Jealous?"
Phineas laughed like he heard the craziest thing in the world. After he finished laughing, his face quickly shifted to a serious one.
"No, no I'm not," he replied bluntly.
"Well, you should be," said Thaddeus. "Today, we're building the most awesome fort ever. What do you think of that, suckers?"
Phineas laughed again.
"Well, we can do that too, only better," Phineas argued.
Thaddeus made a wicked grin.
"I accept your challenge," was all he said before he and Thor left.
Once Thaddeus and Thor were gone, Phineas turned to Ferb and snapped his fingers.
"Gum me," he said, imitating Thaddeus.
Ferb rolled his eyes. "Please."
"Hey, where's Perry?"
Perry ran to the nearby garden hose.
The next thing Perry knew, he was in the hose struggling to get out.
"Agent P? Agent P?" Monogram called, seeing that Perry wasn't in his lair like he usually was. "Where is he, Carl?"
"I don't know, sir," Carl replied. "Maybe he decided to quit."
"Quit? Why would he?"
"Well, remember his last mission?"
"Oh, right. Poor Agent P, having to put up with something so petty."
Perry finally reached the lair.
"Agent P, I'm so glad you're…" Monogram said happily before realizing he sounded like an idiot. "Ahem, so, Doctor Doofenshmirtz has been sighted in the Danville Park. We need you to make sure no one is in danger."
Perry saluted and left to do his mission.
"I don't know, Candace," Mandy admitted. "In terms of obnoxiousness, I'm sure my brothers have your brothers beat."
"I beg to differ," Candace retorted. "They may be obnoxious, but my brothers' stuff has a sprinkling of awesomeness, which makes it even more annoying."
"Have you been listening? Today, my brothers have been building a fort and it will probably be the most obnoxiously awesome fort ever built!"
"Not if my brothers are building one!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah! It's on, sister!"
Mandy walked out of the backyard.
Candace approached the boys. She saw they were working on something.
"There you are!" she said. "I order you to drop what you're doing and build a fort!"
"That's what we're doing," Phineas replied before feeling suspicious. "Wait, why do you care? I thought you wanted us to take the day off and not annoy you!"
"Well, the kids next door are building a fort, and I will be even more annoyed if theirs is better than yours!"
Doofenshmirtz Family Reunion
Doof watched with much contempt as his relatives competed in sack races and kickball.
That's when Perry jumped out of a nearby bush.
"Oh, hi, Perry the Platypus," Doof greeted unenthusiastically. "Welcome to the Doofenshmirtz Family Reunion. They're about to start the dreaded kickball game that my mother organizes every year. The one my brother's team always wins. You see, I'm not very coordinated with my feet, but with my hands. Watch this."
Doof summoned a table and cups. He stacked the cups with no problem.
"See, I hold the cup-stacking world record," he continued. "But does my mother care? No. You see, Perry the Platypus, throughout my childhood, my mother's love was always inexplicably linked to kickball. I think this is best expressed through song."
Play "I Couldn't Kick my Way Right into her Heart"
Doof:
My mother's love was always inexplicably linked to kickball
And my brother was an expert from the start
But I lacked finesse, so when put to the test
I couldn't kick my way right into her heart
"Ladies and gentlemen!" Doof announced to a non-existent audience. "Love Handel!"
He gestured to a nearby stage, where Love Handel was performing for the Doofenshmirtz family.
Doof got on stage to join the band.
Danny:
He tried playing Rugby, and soccer, and football
He tried kick the can and even martial arts
But even with this dedication
Doof:
I still got no coordination
Danny:
He couldn't kick his way right into her heart
Oh yeah
"Goodnight, Danville!" Danny shouted, ending the concert.
End "I Couldn't Kick my Way Right into her Heart"
"How do you like that, Perry the Platypus?" Doof asked. "I got Love Handel to write and sing a parody of their own song. I know people."
What did I just witness? Perry asked himself, flabbergasted.
"This year, it's gonna be different, I'll show you," Doof went on. He left and came back with a metal contraption on his leg. "Behold, the Kickinator 5000! Could you help me practice? Just take the ball, go over there, then just roll it to me!"
Seeing nothing better to do, Perry decided to play along. He took the ball, walked a good distance, and rolled it.
Doof failed to kick it.
"Hey, you rolled too early!" he yelled. "Can't you see I wasn't ready? Try again, and do it right this time."
Doof tossed the ball back to Perry. Doof tried to kick the ball, but he kicked before Perry even rolled the ball. He ended up kicking his own face.
Isabella arrived at the Flynn-Fletcher backyard.
"Whatcha doin?" she asked like she usually did.
"Building a fort," Phineas replied, not taking his eyes off his work.
Isabella noticed the boys in the backyard next door making something of their own.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Showing two chumps how to build a fort," one of the boys replied.
Isabella felt offended. "Oh no he didn't. Phineas, how can I help?"
Mandy watched Phineas and Ferb with binoculars.
"Stainless steel 18-8 woodscrews, eh?" she scoffed. "The choice of amateurs."
"Why?" asked Candace. "What kind of screws do your brothers use?"
"That's classified."
Candace noticed that Thaddeus and Thor hid their contraption under a tarp. She turned to Isabella.
"Isabella, get a tarp over that thing ASAP!" she demanded.
"What color?" asked Isabella.
"Does it matter?!"
"Hey, where's Harry?" Thaddeus wondered.
"Over here," Harry replied.
Harry was an overweight middle-aged man with hair all over his body. He wore no shirt, but he did wear a hard hat, beige pants, and brown boots.
"Well, he is a contractor," said Thaddeus. "They don't do much."
Since rolling it to him didn't work, Doof told Perry to put the ball in front of the Kickinator.
"That's good," Doof said when he thought it was good. "Step back and get ready to witness some real kicking."
Doof kicked the ball into a tree, accidentally killing a pigeon.
"I did it!" he cheered before accidentally kicking himself in the head again. "I still did it!"
Candace paced around the fort.
"Alright, it's do or die time!" she shouted. "This is the chance to really show your stuff, because there is now way you're going to lose to a couple of lame-os and their loser sister!"
"I can hear you!" Mandy shouted from next door.
"I know!"
That's when Candace heard a car pull up.
"No, Mom!" she shouted to herself. "I can't let her see it!"
Candace ran to the front of the house. She saw Linda getting out of the car.
"Mom, you're home!" she shouted. "But I think you forgot something from the grocery store."
"What?" asked Linda.
"You know, that… stuff!"
Linda looked at the shopping list. "Oh, I guess I did. Throw these in the kitchen and I'll be right back."
Candace took the groceries, threw them in the kitchen, and went straight back to the yard.
"Boy, that was close," she said to herself.
Doof was next on home base. He saw none other than Charlene pitching.
"Alright, easy out," she said. "Everybody move in."
"Hey, you're not even a Doofenshmirtz anymore!" Doof pointed out.
"I kept the name," Charlene retorted.
"You can do it, Dad!" Vanessa cheered from the bleachers. She then turned to the guy sitting next to her. "He can't really do it."
"Welcome, citizens of Danville!" Mandy announced to a small crowd. "I give you the architectural stylings of Thaddeus and Thor!"
The boys removed the tarp to show a castle fort with a slide.
"That's nice," Isabella remarked. "But not as nice as Phineas' fort."
Ferb cleared his throat.
"Sorry, Phineas and Ferb's," Isabella corrected herself.
"What you architectural illiterates see here is a split-level edifice, complete with slide and licorice dispenser," Thaddeus showcased.
"People, I'm not gonna soft-pedal this," Candace said. "That was adequate, but I think we're ready to witness the greatest architectural feat this town has ever seen. I give you Phineas and Ferb."
The boys removed the tarp. Everyone in the crowd laughed.
"You call that an architectural feat?" asked Thaddeus.
Candace turned around to see just a regular old fort.
"What?" she reacted. "Have you lost your minds? You've humiliated me in front of everyone, again! All summer long, you built the most amazing things, and the one time I actually want you to do something, the one time I count on you, you give me this? Just leave me alone!"
Candace ran into the house, crying.
Charlene rolled the ball. Doof braced himself. He moved his foot back, and he kicked.
Phineas chuckled a bit.
"Never judge a book by its cover, Candace," he said before picking up the megaphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, the top floor of our fort is our homage to old-school construction! Now, for the rest of it! Ferb?"
Ferb pushed a button on his remote. The fort rose to reveal many lower floors underneath. It was so high that a flying object just bounced back the way it came.
"Ta-da!" Phineas announced. "Our modern take on a well-known classic!"
The crowd cheered.
Doof was so busy cheering that he finally beat Roger that he failed to notice the ball was coming back. Roger caught it.
"You're out," he said nonchalantly.
Mrs. Doofenshmirtz cheered for Roger, like she always did.
"Well, here's the foyer," Phineas showcased to everyone. "All imported marble, by the way."
The next thing anyone knew, they were in another room.
"Here's the bowling alley," Phineas went on.
"Swimming pool."
"Telescope."
"Terracotta Army room."
"Jet engine wind tunnel!"
Some in the crowd were literally blown away by that one.
"And a scoring stage with a 40-piece orchestra," Phineas finished.
"We don't, however, have a licorice dispenser," Ferb added. "That was a nice touch."
Thaddeus and Thor were beyond shocked.
"Nice going," Mandy sarcastically remarked. "You broke their brains. Come on, boys. I'm taking you home."
Candace sat in front of the house, glum. She just barely noticed Linda came back with the stuff.
"Well, Candace," came Mandy's voice. "As much as I hate to admit this, your brothers are the best." She then turned to Thaddeus and Thor. "A ten-story addition with a swimming pool. Why didn't you think of that?"
"Could it be true?" Candace asked herself.
Candace was about to head to the backyard.
"Candace, kitchen, now!" came Linda's voice.
Candace went to the kitchen. She saw a big mess on the floor.
"When I said 'throw these in the kitchen', I didn't mean it literally," Linda scolded.
Candace realized her mistake, and quickly cleaned up the mess.
"Well, fun's fun, but there are those pesky zoning laws," said Phineas.
Ferb pushed the button, causing the fort to go back down.
Candace stacked all the cans and cups in record time.
Doof was letting Perry comfort him when he felt something wrong.
"I just felt a disturbance in the cup-stacking universe," he said. "I think my record's been broken."
Candace just finished cleaning up.
"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Linda asked.
Candace quickly ran to the backyard. The fort was just as normal as when she last saw it.
"That's not the best," she said to herself.
Linda showed up, having heard what Candace said.
"That actually is the best," she said.
"Hey, Mom," Phineas said. "We built a fort."
"It's wonderful. Who wants stuff?"
"We do."
Candace collapsed.
A.N.
Well, I didn't expect it would take this long, but Candace is now officially back in her busting habit. There was that time she tried to bust them in the Chez Platypus rewrite, but at the time, she just intended it as a one-time thing to spite the boys for not letting her in.
Though this doesn't mean her habit has come back worse than ever. While in season 1, there were only at least three episodes where she didn't try to bust the boys, this season, and the seasons to come, I plan to slowly decrease how much Candace tries to bust her brothers as part of her character development, until eventually, she gets out of the habit entirely.
Like I said in a previous author's note, I was planning some tension between Phineas and Candace. Phineas refusing to let Candace in the restaurant in Chez Platypus, or the fact he didn't reveal the true fort until Candace was gone, is meant to showcase that his resentment towards her is getting worse, as now he's starting to act spiteful towards her.
The reason why he relented and let Candace and Jeremy have their date at the end of Chez Platypus was because the restaurant itself was gone, so he knew Linda and Lawrence wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
The whole resentment thing is also why I had Phineas challenge Thaddeus at the same time Candace challenged Mandy. There's no way I see my version of Phineas let himself be bossed around by Candace.
That's all I have to say. Thanks for reading.