In which Naruko finds out how Tataru keeps making money... aside from the loot they got from the Four Lords shenanigans.
It was roughly lunch time when Naruko entered the Rising Stones. As she marched down the steps her eyes centred on Tataru with what appeared to be anger.
"Tataru Taru! What the fuck is this!" Naruko yelled as she slammed a bag of something on Tataru's desk.
Tataru didn't even look up from her paperwork "Your bullshit storage bag?" She said taking a bite out of her ham and cheese toastie as she looked over the month's spending.
Without a word, Naruko opened the fabric bag and turned it upside down. And from it fell multiple mammets resembling the Scions… followed by a small sealed container full of chocolate mousse which Tataru swiped with surprising speed.
"Ok?" Tataru said in confusion "I don't understand the problem." She continued looking up at Naruko.
However instead of being greeted by a scowl, she was greeted by watery eyes and a trembling lip.
"W-why don't I get merchandise?" Naruko whimpered pitifully.
Tataru stopped dead. 'Oh.. oh I always knew this day would come.'
"Uhh… w-well I'm not sure? As.. as you know the Adventurers Guild and the Alliance are the ones who commision such things.. I just sign off on it." Tataru gulped. She had known that Naruko would ask about this eventually. However she had hoped it was after she discovered Tataru's little side business.
"And why has nobody asked me? I've saved Eorzea countless times!... Where's my merchandise?" The Champion of Eorzea whimpered, her eyes glistening with tears.
"Uh.. well.. I'd assume it's b-because you frequently change your equipment?" Tataru said feebly.
"That's a load of Chocobo shite… fucking Alphinaud gets a fucking mammet twice and I get jack shit because I switch to different Soul Crystals frequently.." Naruko murmured dejectedly. Fuck it wasn't like she was asking for much.
Seriously, every gods damned member of the Scions had a Mammet except her. Why didn't she get one? Fucking hell, Ardbert got one. Fucking Ardbert! And yeah sure, that was made at the Crystalline Mean and all it didn't change the fact that it was bullshit.
What next, Emet-Selch was gonna get one?
Tataru gulped. Naruko was more upset about this than she realised it seemed. Though admittedly, she would be too in her shoes. Especially after saving Eorzea countless times now.
"W-well… I'll.. I'll see what I can do!" Tataru said almost too quickly.
"Really!?" Naruko's eyes lit up.
"Of course… and if I knew how upset you were about this I would have done something sooner." The lalafellin woman said honestly.
Seriously, if she had known that Naruko was gonna be this cut up about it she would have pushed harder for a mammet in her image to be made.
Hell the only reason the Adventurers Guild hadn't commissioned them yet was because of a certain greedy bitch who's still mad that Naruko told her that she didn't have a claim to the Isle of Val and that if she continued to try and say she did, she'd be having an intimate meeting with Naruko's fist… again.
Yeah that whole 'Eureka' business had been a right mess. And it was only made worse when Rowena thought it would be a good idea to offhandedly threaten Krile's safety during the expedition. If it weren't for Gerolt, Naruko would have ripped Rowena's head off there and then but she settled for breaking the bitch's jaw instead. Honestly, Rowena got off easy… Nanamo wanted to mess with her by launching an investigation into the Tomestone trade but was talked out of it by Momodi due to the overarching issues with the Adventurers Guild it would definitely cause. Though it didn't stop the Sultana from sending a thinly veiled threat to Rowena that would even make Lolorito proud.
So essentially that and her own side venture.. there wasn't really a reason to push for a mammet to be commissioned. But it looks like plans have changed.
Tataru smiled and gave Naruko a soft kiss on the lips "I'll get in contact with the Guild representative and see if I can't get a design fast tracked." She said with a small smile.
Naruko blushed lightly "C-come on Tataru… I was only joking.. mostly." She whispered the last part, however Tataru had heard her and giggled "I know love. But you brought up a very valid point." She said, finishing her toastie and the mousse.
"After I see a potential customer, I'll get right on it. So why don't you go to our room and relax for a while. You look tired." Tataru smiled as she hopped off the chair and then pulled Naruko down to give her a quick peck on the lips before she made for the entrance.
Naruko watched Tataru exit with a confused look "Ok? Wait, potential customer?" After a moment Naruko shrugged and made her way to her room, wondering what Tataru meant by 'potential customer.'.. Then again, Tataru did say she was getting into the custom clothing business. So maybe it was that?
Roughly an hour later and after a nice hot shower, Naruko was seated at one of the tables in the main hall. Gone was her heavy armor and in its place she wore a loose purple singlet and a pair of shorts.
"Hmmmm.." The Warrior of Light frowned at the paper in front of her. "Six letters.. 'Permits to enter'.."
Yes she was doing a crossword from that book again. A kinda tough one as well.
"Ugh.. maybe-" Naruko stopped as the door opened and she heard Tataru enter. She knew it was her because she was talking to someone. Krile perhaps? Wait no it couldn't be, she was in Sharlayan right now. Probably Nanamo then.
"Say Tataru… what the fuck?" Naruko's jaw dropped as Tataru and two others came into view.
Tataru at hearing Naruko spun around in shock. Her eyes wide.
Next to her was Nanamo who looked just as shocked.. in her arms was a roughly carbuncle sized plushie.. of Naruko wearing her recent Dark Knight gear.
And lastly, the most shocking person with Tataru was Milala. The Yellowjacket captain she met while running with Jacke a year or so back. And boy did she look embarrassed.
Why did she look embarrassed? Oh that's simple really.
It's because of the fucking four and a half fulm long pillow with an image of a half dressed Naruko wearing what looked like her All Saints Wake costume from last year plastered on the front.
"I..I can explain!" Tataru all but shouted in a panic, her arms flailing wildly.
Naruko just stared dumbfounded. "I… sincerely hope you can." She said staring at the obviously hand crafted items in her other girlfriend and loose acquaintance's hands.
Tataru then went on a ten minute long exposition talking about the purpose of the items at hand and how she's been selling them. And how they are high quality works of art that has made the Scions some decent Gil.. she also explained that she donated several of the plushies to the Menphina's Arms Orphanage in Idyllshire.
"So let me get this straight." Naruko pinched the bridge of her nose "You've been making and selling plushies of me since Ishgard? And that you are currently on version five which you have called the 'Shadowbringer' line?"
"Yes. Though version three and four are both part of the Stormblood line of products. Though I have made special edition plushies too." Tataru said proudly as she held a pair of Naruko Plushies up. And as she said, they were styled after her Monk and Samurai gear from that period. "And I assure you they are of the highest quality, dear." Tataru hastily added. And true enough, they were extremely high quality. "They are also quite popular with children.. especially the Chocobo suit one." Tataru added, holding up a plushie of Naruko dressed in a Chocobo suit. Though arguably, the one with Naruko wearing the Behemoth onesie was their best seller.. though that one was only on the market because Naruko made fun of Tataru's carbuncle onesie that she saw her wearing one day. Who cares if it looked childish, she was fucking adorable in it and it was extremely comfy. Hell she even bought Krile and Nanamo a Topaz and Ruby one too.
Naruko nodded "I can see the appeal I guess…" She murmured. However, the taller woman's gaze was locked onto the pillow Milala was grasping.
"And while in Kugane you saw a shop selling body pillows-"
"Dakimakura."
"Right, dakimakura. And then you thought 'Naruko totally won't mind if I used her likeness for some.' To which you then made over two hundred of them and have been selling them to your VIP customers?" Naruko finished, giving Tataru an unamused look.
"Ehehe… when you put it like that…" Tataru looked away embarrassed. "Would it help if I said they were all purchased by women and that I only started selling the sexy ones a few months ago? Ehehe.. if it makes you feel any better, only Nanamo and Y'shtola know I make them."
Naruko however, was not amused."You're sleeping on the couch tonight." Naruko said with a hard look.
"What!?" Tataru shouted in shock "B-but we always snuggle on Wednesday.."
"Yeah well now Nanamo gets your spot tonight."
"That's not fair.." Tataru pouted. "Can I at least sleep on the other side of the bed? The couch is hard."
"I'll think about it."
Naruko's gaze locked with Milala once again, causing the blue haired Lalafell to blush "I.. I can still keep this right?" Milala asked embarrassed. While this was happening however, Tataru's eyes wide as she spied G'raha entering the main hall from the living quarters, in his hand the aforementioned Behemoth Naruko plush. Tataru rapidly made a cutting motion at her neck making the Miqo'te man freeze as he saw Naruko seemingly glaring at the blue haired Lalafell holding the body pillow. He wisely scurried back the way he came.
Naruko just shrugged at Milala's question. "I mean, you already paid for it. I'm a bitch sometimes, sure, but I'm not that cruel."
" You hung me off the Aetheryte in Limsa Lominsa by my underwear." Milala grumbled under her breath. The fact that happened to her was embarrassing enough.. However, what really embarrassed her was the fact that before anyone could get her down she had a) Vomited from all the spinning, with it unfortunately landing on Commodore Rayner after he came to investigate reports of a Yellowjacket Captain dangling from the Aetheryte, and b) Fell face first onto the grass after her panties gave out and dislocated her shoulder. Oh and everyone in the plaza at the time saw her privates. Can't forget that.
Naruko rolled her eyes and smirked "And you threatened me with a gun and then damn near shot the civilians that the Rogues and I had saved. By the way, how's your trigger discipline?" Milala blushed in embarrassment once more. "I said sorry!" Milala squeaked.
"Ok, that's enough embarrassing my client." Tataru said, pulling the blue haired Lalafell off to the side. Leaving Naruko and Nanamo alone.
"So…" Naruko started, a wide grin forming on her face
"Naruko I swear to the gods.." Nanamo glared.
"I thought you kicked your plushie addiction?" The Hero of Eorzea finished, only for the plush of her that Nanamo had been holding to strike her in the face.
Been feeling like writing shorter, light hearted stuff lately. This was actually based on a little comic I saw a while back too. Let's face it, Tataru is definitely selling WoL merch… and half of it is probably sexual.
And yes, G'raha collects the Plushies. Did you really expect anything less?
And just for fun. Some of the characters that own Naruko merch:
Nanamo: All the plushies and dakimakuras
Krile: All the plushies and dakimakuras(Yes she was very embarrassed explaining that delivery to Sharlayan Customs)
Momodi: All of the plushies and one dakimakura
Y'shtola: Three of the plushies
Alisaie: Two of the plushies and one dakimakura
G'raha: All of the plushies
Mito: All of the plushies
Dewlala: One plushie
Kan-E-Senna: All of the plushies and two dakimakuras
Milala: Three plushies and one dakimakura
Aymeric: All of the plushies
Tataru: Do I need to explain?
Raubahn: Two plushies(sent to him by Nanamo)
Merlwyb: Two plushies
Hydaelyn/Venat: All the merch(she has her ways)
Zenos: One plushie(How he got it nobody knows)
Khloe: All of the plushies
Menphina: All of the merch(Like Venat, she has her ways)
Ryne: All of the plushies(Naruko accidentally mentioned them)
Feo Ul: All of the merch
Giott: One plushie and two dakimakuras(Was there when Ryne found out)
Meteion: One plushie