A/N: This chapter probably could've been longer if I hadn't started it today. I got a burst of inspiration towards the end. You'll see what I mean.

On a shouldn't-be-related note, I got a new phone two days ago. It has much more storage capacity and runs much more smoothly than my previous phone. Guess what I primarily use my phone for? The answer rhymes with "rodeo dames."

Let's hope none of that shows up in this story.

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Kakuzu

There was a lot to keep track of all of a sudden. The dolls' new training program, the mayor's decision, Clone Yahiko's meeting with the nature spirits, Itachi's discovery about the book, Obito's and Zetsu's visit with the Hatakes… How the hell can so much happen in one day?

Others had the same question. The evening was spent mainly on catching up. Kakuzu was the first person informed on all of these matters, so he stayed out of subsequent conversation. When Sasori finally returned, he gave Kakuzu a report in Konan and Original Nagato's presence. Those two took him away for further questioning. Kakuzu was left alone, just him and his newly-forming headache.

"Are you okay?" Deidara asked.

"Just a headache," Kakuzu replied. "Don't you have better places to be?"

"No. I, um… I spent some time with Laurie after my shift. She asked to come over tomorrow, yeah."

"Perfect."

"I didn't want to spring that news on anyone else before you, yeah."

"How considerate." What the absolute hell?

"So, there was a lot of screen time today?" Deidara guessed.

Kakuzu sighed. "That's the only explanation." He wanted to put the topic aside and focus on something more manageable, so he did. "Did you know that the book Itachi mentioned in his text is the book you found when you were searching?"

"I thought that book was weird, yeah."

"We concluded that it is being simultaneously censored and promoted."

"Promoted?"

"Brought to our attention by convenient Internet searches."

Kakuzu turned and led Deidara away. They found that the sick bay was empty, so they sat on the blanket nest there. "Nice enchantments, yeah," Deidara said while holding his hands out to taste the air. "It's nice and cool in here."

"Hopefully more people will use it for staying cool than for actual recovery."

"So, why would something that's censored also be promoted? The easiest way to hide information is to keep people from even asking about it, yeah. If we're not supposed to know too much about this book, then we shouldn't have found it."

"Did you see Itachi's message earlier?" Deidara nodded. "Konan interpreted that to mean that we can only receive visitors from censored worlds. In other words, censorship serves another purpose besides simply hiding information: it opens the gates between our world and others, making it possible for visitors to cross over. Itachi suspects that this book is both censored and promoted because we need to know background information about its world and also receive visitors from it."

"Knowing about it in the abstract and also meeting people who can tell us about it in detail? That idea Itachi had that we might get sucked into another world is starting to sound realistic! I mean, looking it up online and talking to people who've been there is what you would do to research a travel destination, yeah?"

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. He had not considered that possibility. "I reached a different conclusion."

"Oh? What was it?"

"That it's about education. Konan spoke of visitors like the man Nagato met as being potential teachers and mentors. Learning a topic in the abstract and also meeting people who can tell you about it in detail: isn't that what you do to learn a new skill?"

"Oh… Hm." Deidara thought about it for a while. "That sounds exciting, yeah! I can't wait to see what happens."

"Just as long as it doesn't happen tonight," Kakuzu growled. "I can't take any more of this."

"Want to hear about my short-sighted, irresponsible young-person adventures?"

"...Fine."

Deidara proceeded to babble about how his relationship with Laurie was slightly strained by her increase in awareness, but they seemed to have worked through it, only he was scared that there might be more shocks incoming and he really liked her and she was his first serious girlfriend and… Ahh, this is nice. Short-sighted concerns that have absolutely nothing to do with larger existential questions. I'll have to thank him for this. Maybe. Heh... Probably.

Clone Yahiko

"You what? I wouldn't have asked that of you, but - but thank you!"

Obito had finally managed to get himself and Yahiko alone. Only then did he describe his attempt to communicate with the wind spirit. Yahiko was moved to tears. Communicating with spirits requires pushing aside all of your personal problems and focusing entirely on someone else. That he, a person with so many problems of his own, was willing to do that for me… Wow.

"It was easy with the Sharingan," Obito said shyly.

"The Sharingan might make it easier to track them, but not to talk to them. It disappeared. That must mean it heard you! And I did have a lot of luck getting wind spirits to listen to me. You got through!"

"I'm glad," Obito murmured. He cleared his throat. "So, there's something else I thought of while talking to the Hatakes -"

But Sasori walked in just then. "Have you made any arrangements with your proposed constituents?" he asked Yahiko.

"Uh… Yeah. The wind spirits are gathering opinions."

"Good. We're both on track, then. I told my motorcycle to relay the message about standing outside the door on Sunday morning. In only two days, we'll know for certain who's in charge of what around here." Sasori walked out.

"What were you saying?" Yahiko asked Obito.

"Um…" Obito scratched his head nervously. "Just that… I might like to… Show you my face? More often?"

This is a BIG DEAL! "Um, okay, if you really want to, we could… Do that." Yahiko felt his knees shake slightly. He wanted to sit down, but didn't dare openly acknowledge how big of a deal this conversation was.

"I haven't ever shown anyone my face deliberately since the accident, so… It would be nice," Obito muttered. "It is nice, I mean, to know somebody like you who actually likes all my different faces, not just tolerates them."

I love you. The words spoke themselves in Yahiko's mind and very nearly made it out of his mouth. He blinked, stunned by the boldness of them. The L word was not foreign to him, of course, but he'd never used it in such a personal and intimate way. A color, a video game, a philosophy, the world… It felt many times easier to declare love for those things than for a specific person. A person can refuse my love. Those other things can't. I've always thought that most people would refuse me if I asked too much of them. Even knowing this, it was impossible to force the words out. So Yahiko gave Obito a hug.

Obito hugged him back. They stayed like that, relaxing into each other's arms, until more footsteps sounded outside.

This time, the intruder was Original Yahiko. He laughed and said, "I almost forgot. We visited the library earlier. The librarians, especially the psychic ones, are looking for guidance. I told them you could help. You could form a club with them, or something."

"That's a good idea. Working in groups could be more effective than working alone," Clone Yahiko replied. "Obito saw a suspicious pattern of breezes that were probably caused by a wind spirit with his Sharingan. I can use Angel Jutsu to communicate my feelings. Hidan can receive feelings-communications, and the librarians can understand detailed informational communications. Spotting spirits, talking to them, understanding what they say in reply: those are all important abilities, and it would be helpful to combine them."

Original Yahiko's eyes widened. "Using the Sharingan to track invisible beings! Dang, I would've thought of that if I had more experience working with it. I've read Ruta's document over and over, but I don't have much practical experience with the Sharingan."

"Neither do I," Obito replied. "It's only recently that I learned I had it. I could stand to exercise it."

"Not too much," Clone Yahiko warned. "Itachi strained his Sharingan once and developed a blinding headache. He couldn't stand to open his eyes."

"That's right, the Sharingan can be used to cast its own special jutsus, can't it?" Original Yahiko remembered.

"No, he strained it just by using it to look at things. He looked at lots of moving things, all going very fast in different directions. Imagine going to a carnival filled with flashing lights. When you have the Sharingan active, watching a battle is like being in the middle of that carnival."

"I'll be careful," Obito promised. "Special jutsus?"

"Yeah, Konan mentioned something."

"That might be nice. I want to be ready for anything. I mean… I want to know my own abilities."

Clone Yahiko smiled. "Me too." We have so much in common…

Original Yahiko's relaxed smile turned into a frown. He seemed to be thinking of something else as he said, "That's a good habit to get into. Knowing yourself, I mean."

Obito turned to Clone Yahiko. "I want to ask Konan for the same training you had."

Clone Yahiko flinched. "Uh, that was life-and-death training. It was really intense. I wouldn't put someone through that unless it was necessary, and I think she'll agree."

"So I'll ask her if it's necessary?"

That wasn't supposed to be a question. It turned into one at the last moment, Obito's old trappings of shyness reclaiming their throne. Obito looked mortified. Clone Yahiko gulped. She might decide that it is.

"Life-and-death training?" Original Yahiko asked.

Clone Yahiko laughed nervously. "You know what? Why don't we go ask her together?"

Original Nagato

"Are you saying I'm not important enough?!"

Original Nagato sighed. "Hidan, I cannot understand why you would want a cellphone."

"They're important shit around here."

"As a status symbol? Is that all?"

"Isn't that why you want one? Only your boyfriend actually needs one."

Nagato tightened his lips. He should not speak so casually of private matters. "There may be a circumstance where I must contact someone or be contacted at a time when I am not with him."

"What about me? Couldn't I get into a situation like that too?"

Nagato's first response was, Who would ever want to talk to you that badly? He repressed it. "Cellphones are paid every month. You need to ask someone with steady income to accept the cost on your behalf."

"I'll do exactly that," Hidan replied. He stomped off. As soon as he was gone, Nagato let out a sigh of relief. Putting up with Hidan is always a trial. Little did he know…

The next day…

Konan stood tall and wore a deadly serious face. The origami frog sitting on the bedside table next to her somehow only added to her fearsomeness. If she could make such an obviously sentimental creation seem to be a deadly weapon, what else could she do? "A trial of life and death is in order. I will need both of you to assist."

Hidan smirked. Nagato kept his face still. "What is required of us?"

Konan turned to Hidan first. "Hidan, I require your willingness to kill."

"You have it," he said, baring his teeth. "Who do I need to be willing to kill?"

"Him."

Nagato and Hidan looked at each other. Hidan, strangely, looked much less eager than before. "Why do I have to be willing to kill him?" he asked.

"The trial demands that its primary participant respond to a life-and-death crisis. In other words, someone has to be in danger. For the purposes of this particular trial, Nagato is the ideal person to place in danger. He must face an enemy that can realistically hurt him."

Hidan scratched his head. "I'm normally the first to sing my own praises, but…"

"I have a plan in mind to make it feasible. Do the two of you consent?"

What the hell is going on here? Why must I be in danger, and what plan does she have to make it possible for Hidan to kill me? How could she bring herself to think of such a plan? Nagato was not ready to consent.

Strangely, neither was Hidan. "What the fuck is this trial?" Hidan asked.

"It is an adaptation of the scenario that led to Yahiko's death," Konan replied. "A person's true courage is revealed when a life is threatened. When they see someone in danger, do they intervene or run away? Do they attack the aggressor or place themselves in front of the blade? Answering such questions is the purpose of this trial."

She intends to recreate Yahiko's death?! Nagato was shaken to his core. He never would have imagined Konan to be capable of such a thing. Konan, what has happened to you?

"Why does he need to be in danger?" Hidan asked.

Konan explained, "Obito is the target of this trial. He lacks confidence in his own abilities and has a tendency to rely on others. Is he capable of breaking through that habit, or is he a coward to his core? In order to answer that question, I intend to create a version of the trial where his intervention might or might not be required. Nagato is very powerful. Surely he can defend himself? Surely he is not really in danger? By the time it becomes obvious that Nagato genuinely is in danger, it will be too late to effectively intervene. If Obito waits that long, he will fail the trial. If he decides to intervene despite the ambiguity, he will pass."

Nagato's mouth turned to desert rock. "If he fails his trial, I will die?"

"No. With the clones, death is unnecessary. Injury will suffice. Hidan will only inflict an ugly-looking wound - if he cannot stop himself, that is."

Hidan shook his head. "Either I kill somebody, or I don't. I don't change my mind. I'm not sure I can change my mind." He still looked uncomfortable. Nagato started to wonder why. Hasn't he always fantasized about having an opportunity?

"I will arrange for Clone Yahiko and the dolls to be on standby."

Konan said nothing more. Nagato and Hidan glanced at each other again. All she needed was their consent. Would they give it?

Hidan seemed more uncomfortable than ever. His left ear flicked repeatedly and his tail lashed from side to side. He scoffed, putting on a pretense of confidence that would have fooled Nagato if not for the movements of his tail. "How could I pass up a chance to take a shot at the boss?"

He does not want to fight me! It was undeniable. Nagato could see with his own eyes that Hidan was lying. He had no idea why that would be, but one thing was for sure: he did not have as much to fear from this trial as he had thought. "Very well. I shall assist."

.

A/N: Yep, definitely would have added another scene if I'd had time.

Woohoo! I can't wait to see how this trial turns out.