radio star

xvii. happy

"I'm going to kill that bastard."

"Meiling. C'mon." Syaoran ran a hand over his face.

"What? Are you really going to defend him right now? After all the work you put in—"

"I mean, I get it," Syaoran said, his voice quiet. "He said sales are projected to look terrible after all the negative press."

"So you might—might—have one album that doesn't sell well and he thinks the best solution is to just cut you loose completely?"

Syaoran looked up at her. "You know how it is. It's not like I've made things easy for Matsura and the record label over the last year. He said they stand to take a pretty big hit from this if the album doesn't do well, given all the money they've thrown into promo and the multiple delays."

"But how is any of the stuff that's happened your fault?" Meiling cried, throwing her hands in the air.

Sakura watched helplessly as Syaoran shook his head. His expression was neutral, but she could see in the curve of his shoulders, the tightening of his fingers around his knee, the turmoil beneath.

"It doesn't matter now. The damage is already done, and pointing fingers will only waste time."

Meiling sighed and leaned her elbows on her knees, covering her brow with one hand for a second before looking up at him. "So what's your plan?"

"Guess it's time to go back to Japan and figure out whether I need to part ways with the label."

Although his response was directed towards Meiling, Syaoran's gaze fell on Sakura's. He looked, for the first time since all this calamity had occurred, terribly lost. She reached out and took his hand, and the blaze in his eyes seemed to dim just a little.

It was her turn to be strong, she knew. And sensing his uncertainty and fear made her that much more positive. She was ready. She would do whatever it took to protect him.

Syaoran had expected the mood on the walk home to be somber. He knew this cycle well—feeling bad about feeling bad, Sakura feeling bad as a result of his feeling bad, and then feeling even worse. But to his surprise, Sakura was anything but somber, chattering and grabbing his hand and pointing out things in shop windows.

He had, of course, seen the shock and guilt all over her face back at the restaurant. But he was aching, too, and this felt like the only thing that might give him some relief. So he let her continue to pretend, let whatever was clawing and shouting inside his head quiet down as she touched him and talked to him and smiled at him. Eventually, it became such a dull thing that he was able to smile along with her, and he felt so much adoration for her in that moment that he almost couldn't bear it.

Syaoran stopped walking and turned to Sakura, right in the middle of the street. Passersby walked around them, bundling up further against the cold and hurrying along their day.

"Syaoran? What's—" Sakura looked up at him, eyes large and startled and lips curved into a curious "o", as he cradled her face with both hands. "A-are you okay?"

He said nothing, observing her for a few long seconds, the details of her face and how her eyes followed his. Little bits of snow had gotten into her hair and along the shoulders of her coat as they'd walked.

He tried to visualize where he'd be right now if he'd never allowed her to take those first photographs of him, or if he hadn't seen her nearly break her nose in the swarm of paparazzi last summer. Probably on track for his comeback, he imagined, dutifully going on talk shows, playing concerts, and most certainly not dealing with the gnawing in his stomach right now as he wondered if he had a future with his label.

But there would also be no Sakura right in front of him. And that meant whatever was inside of him that had felt alive and substantial and real for the last six months wouldn't be there, either. The thought made him want to double over. He pressed his forehead against hers.

"Syaoran?"

"I..." Syaoran tried to think of what to say. It was like he'd forgotten how to speak. There was so much inside of him he wanted to express—the burden of failure, his gratefulness for Sakura being there, and above all else, the horrible feeling of being forced to choose between her and his career—but he was exhausted.

"Hey," Sakura whispered, and her own hands reached up toward the back of his neck, fingers twirling into strands of his hair. "Everything is going to be all right."

Syaoran nodded.

"Let's go back to the townhouse. I'll make us some tea, okay?"

Sakura reached up and gently took Syaoran's hand from her face and slipped her fingers through his, leading the short walk back to Eriol's house.

"Tomorrow, then? What time?"

Sakura watched Syaoran pace around the living room, one hand in his pocket and the other pressing his phone to his ear. Every so often, he'd catch Sakura's eye and throw her a small smile that was clearly meant to reassure her and instead made her breath catch a little. In the entire time she'd known him, she'd never seen him look as hurt or as scared as he had in that moment on their walk home. Watching him try to cover it all up now made her want to throw herself in front of him and shield him from anything else that could harm him.

"Yeah." Syaoran glanced over at Sakura. "We'll be ready. And we'll see you for dinner tonight, right?"

Sakura's phone buzzed in her hand. She looked down at it to see that Tomoyo had responded to her message from that morning.

You're coming home? Eriol told me things are crazy right now. Are you okay?

Sakura quickly tapped out a response. We're making a pit stop first to strategize with Syaoran's family… I'm okay. I think Syaoran is trying to be okay.

"All right. Bye, Meiling."

Syaoran pocketed his phone and ran both his hands through his hair, standing in front of the sliding doors that led out to the courtyard behind the townhouse and staring out at nothing for a moment. Sakura watched his back, chewing her lip, frantically rummaging through her head for anything she could say or do to ease the visible tension in his shoulders.

She stood and walked over to him, pressing her cheek against the dip between his shoulder blades and wrapping her arms around his front. His hands covered hers, and he brought one hand up to his lips.

"Thank you," he murmured against her hand.

Sakura blinked. "For what?"

He turned around now, looking down at her, his hands on her waist. "I think I'd go crazy dealing with all of this if you weren't here," he said, his voice hushed, as if his statement were a confession.

Sakura supposed it was, in a way. He'd been putting up a strong front, all for her, these last few weeks, and she knew he didn't want her to worry about him.

"You are very strong, Syaoran," she said, reaching up to smooth his bangs away from his forehead. "But strong people need to lean on others, too."

Syaoran shut his eyes. The corners of his lips turned up into a small, but genuine, smile. "Meiling has told me something similar. In a slightly more abrasive way."

Sakura giggled. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his jaw. He opened his eyes and tilted his head lower, meeting her lips with his own.

When they pulled apart, Syaoran held Sakura to him so that her face was pressed against his chest. She could hear his heart thudding steadily against her ear.

"So," he said softly. His fingers were running slowly through her hair now, which had grown in recent months to just past the tops of her shoulders—the longest she'd let it grow in years. "What now?"

"Whatever you want," Sakura responded, meaning it. She had no idea what the future held from here, but she knew she would support him, no matter what that meant.

He was quiet for a long moment. "I don't want to lose you."

Sakura squeezed her arms around him. He sounded so like a frightened child in that instant that it broke her heart. "Of course you won't."

"Even with all of the pressure—not just from the press and the fans, but from my label, too, if I—"

Sakura shook her head. "Even with all of that. It doesn't matter. Like you've told me before, we're in this together." She hesitated briefly. "Unless you want otherwise."

Syaoran pulled away and held her by the shoulders, eyes boring into hers. Sakura could hardly breathe—he looked, somehow, so devastated and so happy all at once that it caused her to feel physical pain in the base of her chest.

"I don't," he said firmly. "I want this. You."

Sakura smiled. "Okay, then. Me, too."

"You're really something, Sakura. You know that?" he said softly.

Swallowing, Sakura recovered and shrugged in her best attempt at being casual. "I do my best."

Syaoran chuckled. "My mother will love you. Maybe almost as much as I do, even."

Sakura felt heat rise to her cheeks. "I'm a little nervous," she admitted.

Syaoran pressed his lips to Sakura's forehead. "You have no reason to be. I wish it were under better circumstances we were going over there, but I'm really happy they'll all get to meet you." He paused. "But if my sisters try to tell you embarrassing stories about me as a kid, you're duty-bound to stop them from doing so."

Sakura laughed. "We'll just have to see about that."

"I mean it, Sakura," Syaoran said warningly, but he playfully tickled her around the waist, causing her to squirm and let out a peal of laughter.

Later, as Sakura stood over the kitchen counter, steeping tea into a pot as Syaoran washed up for dinner, she closed her eyes and desperately tried to hold on to this last moment of peace, to the laughter on Syaoran's face, even as the light in his eyes flickered with fear.

Sakura had spent the entire flight to Hong Kong trying to imagine what Yelan Li would be like. Syaoran had shown her photos on his phone, but seeing how beautiful—and stern—his mother looked had only served to make her even more nervous.

"Your mother doesn't like to smile for photos," Sakura had observed.

Syaoran had merely grinned and squeezed Sakura's hand. "Now you see where I get it from. She's a sweet person. I promise."

When Sakura finally laid eyes on the woman, standing in the open doorway of the Li mansion, she found that the photos had not done her justice. Tall, with thick, dark hair, high cheekbones and expertly painted eyes and lips, Syaoran's mother looked so imposing and regal that Sakura wondered how Syaoran had been the only one in the family to end up in show business.

But Syaoran had been right; the pictures made her look far colder than she really was. As soon as they made it to the door, Yelan rushed forward, worry and love fervent in her eyes, and threw her arms around Syaoran, nearly making him stumble backwards. "My son," she said, half-lovingly and half-scolding. "Why must you only come home when you've landed yourself in hot water?"

Syaoran set down his bags and reached around his mother's shoulders to give her a hug back. "I'm sorry," he said into her shoulder. "I promise I'll come by more often."

"That's what you say every time," Yelan huffed, pulling back from him. She sighed. "You've gotten so thin. What am I going to do with you?"

"One day of your cooking and I'll be back to normal, I promise. Mother, this is Sakura Kinomoto."

Yelan turned her eyes to Sakura, who swallowed and tried not to tense up. Yelan's eyes, so much liker her son's, moved up and down Sakura's frame for what felt like an eternity.

"So, you're Xiao Lang's girlfriend," Yelan said slowly, although not unkindly.

Sakura tried not to flinch, but before she could struggle to find an answer, Syaoran placed a reassuring arm around Sakura's shoulders and nodded. "The one and only."

Yelan's ruby-red lips stretched into a wide smile, and she finally stepped forward and grasped both of Sakura's hands in her own.

"Sakura," she said, far more calmly than she'd greeted Syaoran. "It's so wonderful to meet you." She squeezed Sakura's hands. She had thin, somewhat cold fingers, but Sakura felt so much warmth and kindness from the gesture that she felt her nerves melt away at once.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Mrs. Li," she said, and before she could scramble around in her purse to find the small gift she'd purchased for her from a jewelry shop in London, she felt herself being pulled into Yelan's arms.

"Thank you so much for being there for my son," Yelan whispered.

Sakura couldn't tell if she was having trouble breathing from her own shock or from the strength of Yelan's hold, but she put her arms around the woman as well and managed to mumble an "of course."

"Auntie Yelan!"

Yelan let go of Sakura to see Meiling making her way up the walkway, a servant wheeling her suitcase and holding her bags behind her, and walked forward to greet her.

Sakura felt Syaoran slip his hand into hers, intertwining their fingers. She looked up to see him beaming at her.

"See? She loves you."

"I'm so relieved," Sakura whispered back. She shook her head and laughed. "I think I almost had a heart attack when you said I'm your girlfriend!"

Syaoran grinned. "Why? It's only the truth."

"Syaoran wasn't always so brave," Meiling said, walking up from behind them. "He used to be very afraid of his mother."

Sakura raised her eyebrows. "Oh, really?"

"Meiling," Syaoran said warningly.

"Oh, calm down," Meiling said, rolling her eyes. "Don't worry, I'm not going to embarrass you in front of Sakura. Your sisters will make sure that's taken care of."

She put her arms around both Sakura's and Syaoran's shoulders and looked up at the grand entrance to the Li mansion and sighed. "Shitstorm aside, it's great to be home. Shall we?"

If Sakura had been asked to guess, she'd never have picked the four women she'd met that day to be Syaoran's sisters.

Feimei, Fanren, Fuutie, and Xiefa, although quite distinct in personality from each other, were just as he'd described—unfathomably energetic, overtly friendly, quite loud, and at least based on first impressions, nothing like Syaoran. And yet, in watching Syaoran interact with them, Sakura saw how they really were his family. He looked the most at ease and unguarded Sakura had ever seen him when he was joking with them and doting on them, and seeing him this way made Sakura feel even more in love with him than before.

"And then he somehow thought it'd be a bright idea to tell our mother all of this! Even though he could have gotten away with it!" Feimei finished, and the other girls howled with laughter.

"Oh, my God, I remember that like it was yesterday," Meiling said, wiping tears from her eyes. "He almost peed himself because he was so scared!"

Sakura wanted to burst out into laughter, too, but for Syaoran's sake, she held it into a giggle.

"It was the honorable thing to do," Syaoran grumbled, although he caught Sakura's eye across the living room and grinned at her.

"Ah, yes, always so honorable, our little wolf," Fanren laughed. She looked at Sakura. "He really was always the least troublesome out of all of us, and hence, Mother's favorite."

Syaoran scoffed. "That's not true."

"Of course it's true," Meiling said, lightly slapping Syaoran's arm. "If the public knew what a softie he really was, Sakura, he wouldn't have a career."

Sakura giggled. "I could see that. I can't count how many times I've heard people refer to him as a 'bad boy.'"

Syaoran flushed a shade of red Sakura didn't even know existed. "Okay, okay. It's late, don't you guys think? I'm going up to bed. Sakura?"

Sakura nodded with a yawn and stood up. "It was so nice to finally meet all of you," she said to his sisters.

"And you," Feimei said, smiling and rising to give her a hug. The other three followed suit. "We should leave as well, but we'll all come back tomorrow for breakfast. See you then, Sakura."

When they got upstairs to the bedrooms, Syaoran led Sakura to the room where she'd be staying and kissed her goodnight.

"I'm expected to stay in my room alone," Syaoran explained apologetically. "But I'll come sneak in for a little bit after I speak with my mother tonight. Did you have fun today?"

Sakura smiled and nodded. "I really loved meeting them, Syaoran. It's so clear where you get all your kindness from."

Syaoran beamed and kissed her forehead. "Good night, Sakura."

"Good night." Sakura entered the room, shutting the door softly behind her, and stared in awe at the grandness of the bedroom. Syaoran had mentioned that this had been Feimei's old room when she had lived at home with the rest of the family, and it was clear that no expenses on had been spared on the Li family's eldest daughter.

All the furniture was crafted of lacquered black wood with ornate mother-of-pearl inlay designs, set against a theater window displaying the vast, perfectly manicured grounds of the Li mansion. The carpet was plush white and so soft and thick that Sakura felt herself physically sink into it as she walked. On the dresser lay various crystal ornaments and knickknacks that looked like they might have cost two of Sakura's paychecks, along with neatly displayed hair ornaments and brooches that Xiefa must have once owned and chosen to leave behind.

Sakura ran her finger gingerly over one of the pearlescent hair clips and smiled. Fuutie had mentioned earlier that evening that Syaoran still sent them thoughtful gifts—little trinkets or jewelry or, on occasion, artwork—not just for birthdays or holidays, but also randomly throughout the year when he found something that reminded him of them. That he was so considerate toward his sisters did not shock Sakura in the slightest, but she found it surprisingly endearing that he thought of them so often and strove so hard to make them happy in his own quiet way, even when he was so far out in his own orbit.

She changed into her pajamas and crawled into the massive bed, sinking into the fluffy pillows. Her eyes drifted closed almost immediately, and the last thought she had before falling asleep was that maybe, in a different life, Syaoran would have just been the happy, relatively normal son of the Li family, adored by his sisters and classmates and not burdened constantly by the pressures of the spotlight.

Syaoran stared into his cup of tea as he half-listened to Meiling and Yelan volley over the best approach for Syaoran to take when he met with Matsura. They'd been talking, largely without his input, for the last thirty minutes. He found himself wishing that they'd planned this discussion for the morning; he'd underestimated just how tired he would be tonight. He thought of Sakura in bed across the floor, and he wanted nothing more than to slip into the room and lie down beside her, to breathe her in and feel her next to him.

"Well, I think, all factors aside, it comes down to one thing." Yelan turned to her son. "Xiao Lang."

Syaoran glanced up at his mother. "Yes?"

"What do you want?"

Syaoran stared at her now, startled by the simplicity of the question. He looked over at Meiling, who looked back at him with an equally puzzled expression. "What do you mean? Like, about the album? Or my contract?"

Yelan set her own cup of tea down on the coffee table between them and leaned forward. "What do you want with respect to where your career and your life will go?"

Syaoran frowned. He didn't know if there was some deeper meaning she was trying to dig for, and he felt a little foolish as he blurted out the obvious after some few seconds of silence. "I'd like to maintain my contract with the label and produce more music, at least for a couple of years. And as for my life... well… I want..." He looked back down at his hands. "I just can't imagine it without Sakura. Not anymore."

The room was quiet, and after he drew in a breath, he looked back up at Meiling first, and then at Yelan. Their expressions simultaneously made him want to get up and leave the room and to go up to them and embrace them for a long time.

"Then," Yelan said, tilting her head to the side, "why don't you tell that to Matsura?"

Syaoran gaped at her. "How is that a solution? It's nothing he doesn't know already."

Yelan shook her head. "To him, it probably looks like you are putting your love life above everything, which is why he's so frustrated with you. But you need to let him know you prioritize both—your career and your personal happiness. You don't have to sacrifice one to have the other."

Syaoran swallowed hard. He knew how much Matsura cared for him, and how the man would have supported him through almost anything—but at the end of the day, he thought, this was still a business, and Syaoran was Matsura's employee. That was why Matsura had been driven to threaten termination, after all. "And what if he does expect me to sacrifice one over the other?"

Yelan stood up and crossed the room to sit beside Syaoran, placing an arm around his shoulders. "Then you move on. You have no business spending time around people who don't value your happiness."

Syaoran suddenly felt very young again. Briefly, he allowed himself to sag into his mother's embrace.

"It's that easy?" he mumbled into her shoulder.

"Oh, Xiao Lang," she sighed, rubbing his back. "Of course not, when you look at it up close. But when you're finally able to take a big step back, it will be."

"Hey, you."

Sakura opened her eyes to see Syaoran leaning over her, braced on one elbow. Pale, silvery moonlight filtering in through the windows cast deep shadows on his face, but still, he looked less troubled now than she'd seen him in the last twenty-four hours.

"Hi." Sakura blinked a few times to adjust to being awake. "How'd it go?"

Syaoran smiled, reaching down to stroke her hair. "It was good. I should have listened to Wei and talked to my mom sooner."

"I'm so glad." Sakura leaned into his hand. "Parents really have a funny way of knowing exactly what to say, don't they?"

"Mm." Syaoran kissed Sakura's forehead and walked over to the other side of the bed before climbing into it beside her.

"I thought we weren't supposed to do this at your family's house," Sakura whispered, giggling as Syaoran slid his arms around her.

"Just for a few minutes," Syaoran sighed. Sakura felt his whole body relax into hers. "I haven't gotten to do this all day."

Sakura grinned. "Are you sure you're not just trying to prove you're a rebel after how much your sisters teased you today?"

Syaoran scoffed. "I can't believe you'd take their side. I am a rebel."

Sakura erupted in laughter, and Syaoran did, too, before holding a finger to her lips. "I'm not supposed to be in here, remember?"

"If you were really a rebel, you wouldn't care about getting caught," Sakura whispered, although she still let out a snort from trying to hold her laughter in.

"You're awfully brave when you know we have to be quiet," Syaoran said in a low voice, his breath warm against her neck. He pressed his lips to the junction between her neck and shoulder. "But you just wait till we get home and no one's around to hear."

"Syaoran..." Sakura shivered as his lips found space beneath her nightshirt, against her shoulder. "We—you—are you sure we should be doing this?"

Syaoran paused and glanced around the room, as if he was realizing for the first time where they were. "Hm. It does feel a little weird, being in my sister's room." He straightened up and ran a hand through his hair before pulling Sakura to him, allowing her to rest her head against his chest. He chuckled. "Sorry."

Sakura giggled. "That's okay." She looked up at him. "Speaking of when we return, what will we do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I—well, I abandoned my apartment, essentially, because the paparazzi were camped out there when I left. Do you think it'd be okay if I go back now?"

Syaoran frowned. "Well, obviously, it's up to you. I'm sure you miss your home. But... If there's even a chance they'd catch on that you were back, I..."

Sakura recalled all too clearly the clamoring in the parking lot that day, the faceless crowd and the shouting intermingling with clicking and bright flashes. She had no desire to ever face that again, and at the very least, not alone. She felt horribly silly when the next words came out of her mouth, but she had to ask. "Um... Do you think I could stay with you?" she whispered.

"Are you kidding? Of course you can," Syaoran responded. "We can get Kero from Tomoyo when we get back, too."

Sakura beamed. "He'd love that." It was remarkable, how much the knowledge that she could stay with him seemed to muffle the fear that had been growing inside her. "You don't think your team will be bothered by it?"

Syaoran shrugged. "Meiling and I had already discussed the possibility, so I know she's prepared for it. But I didn't want to assume, so I'd decided to wait until you brought it up, if you were going to."

Sakura laughed. "She's really ready for anything, isn't she?"

"Yeah," Syaoran said, smiling. "Once all this blows over, I need to send her on a really long, really nice vacation somewhere."

Once all this blows over. It felt like it'd be an eternity.

They were quiet for a long while, before Sakura finally asked, "So, are you ready to talk to Matsura about what you'll want to do?"

Syaoran pursed his lips for a few seconds before responding, somewhat slowly, "No. I mean—I'm going to. I have to, obviously. I just never thought about this moment, you know? I never thought I'd have to deal with a conversation where I might have to lose this job before I'm ready to." He swallowed hard. "I guess... I guess I'm scared."

Sakura turned her face into his shoulder. She felt his anguish manifesting into a physical ache in her own chest. "I wish I could help you," she mumbled.

"Don't feel bad," he said softly. "This isn't your battle to fight. You've already had too many burdens placed on you that shouldn't have been in the first place."

This, of course, only made her feel worse. He sounded so resigned to a fate that she knew he wouldn't have had to face if she weren't part of the picture.

"But still, Syaoran, I—" Sakura pulled back and looked up at him, brows knitting together as she tried to fight back sudden tears. "We can't keep acting like this isn't my fault, that I didn't play a role in this situation! If it weren't for me, you'd never have gotten in trouble and you wouldn't have to be scared, and you wouldn't have to worry about your career—"

Syaoran shook his head. Sakura let out a little sob, and he pulled her into him again and held her tightly.

"Sakura. Listen. If it weren't for you, I may not have been in this exact situation, sure. But don't you get it? If it weren't for you, I wouldn't even feel alive right now."

Oh. Sakura blinked tears onto his shirt as she took in the impact of those words—arrows straight to her chest.

"I have no doubt that I'd still be wandering, struggling to get up every morning, going through the motions without knowing why I was doing whatever I was doing." He kissed the top of her head. "You helped me find that part of myself that feels real. I would never trade that—I'd never trade you—for anything."

Sakura let out a shaky breath as more tears escaped her eyes. She felt Syaoran rubbing her back in slow, soothing circles now, and she wondered to herself how he'd become the one comforting her when she'd set out for the opposite.

"It'll be okay," Syaoran whispered. "You know that, right?"

Sakura nodded.

When she finally found her voice, Sakura pulled back to look him square in the eye and offer the only thing she felt like she could, insignificant as it was. "If you want—I don't know if this would even help, or if it'd make things worse, but—I could go with you. When you talk to Matsura."

Syaoran smiled at her. "I would really appreciate that."

Sakura smiled, too, the pain in her heart alleviated some. She lay back against him, dreading the moment when he'd get up and leave for his own room, but the moment never came. Syaoran, rightfully exhausted, fell asleep just a few minutes later, and too tired—and perhaps too reluctant—to wake him up, Sakura fell asleep, too.

"Those trips have always been a little too short," Meiling sighed, walking over to the floor-to-ceiling windows of Syaoran's condo and staring out at the dimming Tokyo sunset. "But that was egregiously short."

"Well, yeah. It was half a day," Syaoran muttered, putting his bags down and reaching for Sakura's. "But we didn't have much of a choice."

"Noon tomorrow, then?"

Syaoran nodded, ignoring the unpleasant swooping sensation in his stomach as he did so. "That's the plan. Matsura said he'd send a location out to us as soon as he gets reservations finalized."

"I don't know if I'll be more offended if this guy chooses to break up with you over lunch," Meiling scoffed.

Syaoran felt his lips quirk up in spite of himself. "It really does feel like a breakup."

Meiling looked over at Sakura. "I've asked someone from my team to bring your things from your apartment tomorrow afternoon. I'm sorry we couldn't arrange for it tonight—it was too short notice and I couldn't get hold of anyone."

Sakura shook her head. "Not at all! Thank you for doing that for me. I've got plenty of clothes and everything I need in my luggage, anyway." She glanced around the condo, exhaling softly as she observed the cityscape visible through the massive windows, the soaring ceilings, the polished fixtures, the winding staircase leading up to the second floor. "This—this is very different from my apartment."

Syaoran chuckled. "I could've told you that a while ago."

Meiling's eyes widened. "You've never been here before?"

Sakura shook her head.

Meiling looked over at Syaoran, still incredulous. "She's your girlfriend and you took her to London before you brought her to your own condo?"

Syaoran snorted. "In case you hadn't noticed, our timeline was a little weird—"

"Okay, whatever," Meiling said. She turned to Sakura and shook her head. "Men."

Sakura giggled.

"Well, I'll let Syaoran unpack a little while I give you the grand tour, then. What do you say?" Meiling said, grinning.

"I'd love that!" Sakura looked over at Syaoran. "Do you mind?"

Syaoran shook his head. "'Course not. Just don't let her touch my guitars when you get to the studio," he said playfully. "She'll break them."

"Just watch, I'm going to take your favorite and smash it against the wall just for saying that," Meiling huffed, grabbing Sakura's hand and marching up the stairs.

Syaoran laughed to himself and walked over to the refrigerator, pouring himself a glass of water before he sat down on the sofa. The general lack of sleep he'd gotten since they'd left England was working to his advantage now, as his head was spinning with exhaustion just in time for night to fall over Japan. He could hardly wait to take a shower and get in bed, and he knew Sakura had to be just as tired.

Although she had seemed lively at breakfast with his family that morning, laughing in delight at his sisters' jokes and chatting animatedly with his mother, she'd been very quiet ever since they'd boarded the Li family jet back to Tokyo earlier in the afternoon. She'd had a few moments alone with his mother prior to boarding, and despite his best efforts to repress it, Syaoran was brimming with curiosity as to what Yelan had said to her. Much to his relief, whatever words they'd exchanged must have been good—Yelan had embraced Sakura as warmly as he'd ever seen her embrace any of her children, and Sakura had been smiling as they'd gotten onto the plane.

His mind wandered inevitably to how things would go tomorrow with Matsura. He'd been coaching himself the entire ride home to prepare for the worst, and Meiling had already gone over a contingency plan with him in the event that he was let go.

Even so, nothing stopped him from wanting—perhaps foolishly—for Matsura to offer support, not just as a businessman, but also as the father figure for which Syaoran had come to see him. For as much as Syaoran had insisted to Meiling that he would understand if Matsura did choose to terminate his contract, when things were quiet and he only had his thoughts to listen to, he realized how much it would hurt if that were the route Matsura chose to take.

"Syaoran?"

Syaoran inhaled deeply and jerked awake to see Sakura crouching before him. It was dark now; she'd turned on a light in the kitchen, but the living room was quite dim.

"Come on," she said, kissing his forehead before holding out her hand. "Let's go to bed."

Syaoran took her hand and stood up, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. "How long was I asleep?"

Sakura pursed her lips. "Maybe an hour? We came back into the living room and you were already out. Meiling left and said she'd call in the morning. I didn't want to wake you, so I unpacked for a little while."

Syaoran realized then how nice it was, to have someone else here, living and breathing the same air in this massive condo that he'd foolishly purchased without realizing how lonely it could get. "Thanks, Sakura."

"Of course!"

They entered his bedroom, and Syaoran barely had the energy to brush his teeth and crawl into bed and kiss Sakura good night before his eyes drifted closed again, just after he felt Sakura whisper an "I love you" against his neck.

Matsura had chosen a hole-in-the-wall ramen shop not too far from Syaoran's condo.

"It's so close that we could walk if we wanted to," Syaoran had said to Sakura as he buttoned up his shirt that morning, "but given the paparazzi situation right now, it's probably best to just let Wei pick us up."

"A ramen place... I didn't think he'd choose a ramen shop," Meiling muttered worriedly, meeting Syaoran's eyes in the rearview mirror every so often. "What do you think?"

Syaoran let his head fall back against the headrest. "I think it's pretty stupid to try to predict what he's going to do based on the type of restaurant he chooses."

Meiling frowned. "Hey, look, it could mean something—"

"Yeah, well, we're already out of time to guess. We're here."

Wei pulled into a spot beside the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. "One hour, Master Li?"

Syaoran nodded. "I think so. I'll text you if it's any earlier. Thanks, Wei."

"Certainly."

"Thank you!" Sakura called as she shut the door behind her. She looked up at the sign for the ramen shop. It was almost laughable, how such an unimposing sign could make her want to throw up. She didn't know how she was going to eat anything. She smoothed her hands over the navy blue sheath she wore, a dress that Tomoyo had made her when they had celebrated their college graduations.

"Ready?" Syaoran said, grabbing her hand. He squeezed it once.

Sakura looked up at him, overwhelmed at the love and fear in his eyes. She thought about the words that Yelan had imparted on her at the airport, just before she'd boarded the plane.

"You and Syaoran are so similar, it's a little frightening to me," Yelan said, smiling.

"Oh, really?" Sakura squeaked. "I never thought—I always felt like we were so different."

"In the ways that matter, you're the same," Yelan said, and she placed her hands on Sakura's shoulders. "Sakura, whatever happens, don't fool yourself into thinking that you can't have happiness, or that you are undeserving of it. You both will find it."

She squeezed his hand back and nodded. "Let's go."

That brings this chapter to a conclusion! Thanks to everyone for reading, and as always, my sincerest apologies for taking eighty-four years to update. I actually switched jobs between posting the last chapter and this one, and my current job takes up even more time than my previous one did!

I'd originally planned to fit way more into this chapter, but I thought it might take too long to write and would also span some crazy length, so I'm splitting it in two. The good news is, that means part of the next chapter is written already! I thought the timing of this post was also pretty funny, considering that the Clear Card Arc (which is giving me SO MUCH LIFE, by the way) has featured Syaoran's family in recent episodes! I also got a lot of inspiration for the interactions between Syaoran and Sakura by watching/reading bits of the Clear Card Arc. I caught myself wondering at times if I was writing too much fluff here, but the new season/chapters are really reminding me of how in love with each other these dorks really are.

Finally, a sincere thank you to everyone who read the last chapter and wrote such lovely reviews and sent me messages on Tumblr! You guys are amazing. I can't believe the number of people who still follow this story after years and years of waiting. I will try to have the next chapter up as soon as possible, but in the meantime, please keep the reviews coming and feel free to inquire after the story on my Tumblr!

Love,

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