anonymous789: Hey man, I've seen your reviews on a bunch of past stories I've read over the years. It's cool to see you leaving feedback on mine.
GylmarGeniusCat: Wasn't planning on it, but now that you mentioned it I might make that a thing here. I gave Lucy a short scene later in this chapter.
Guest: Yeah, I've always appreciated flawed characters who are nuanced and redeemable. Not instantly perfect, but trying to do better, faltering along the way but still making an effort.
Tanalbi: It didn't cross my mind to use the VA's last name — even if it did, I probably wouldn't have gone with Rosato, I agree that it's not really fitting.
The first time Lincoln saw Jordan that day was after first period. She was leaning against a locker, chatting with another girl when he happened to pass by. As he caught sight of her, Lincoln stopped for a moment, contemplating if he should approach.
He wasn't sure what his girlfriend's reaction would be upon seeing him for the first time since the previous night, and wasn't sure if he was ready to find out. As he stood by the water fountain looking on at her, however, Jordan caught sight of Lincoln and turned towards him. Both of them both froze for a moment as their gazes suddenly met. He wasn't sure what kind of expression her face held in that moment; a look of anxiety, maybe even apprehension? It surprised him to see his normally self-assured girlfriend staring back at him with a look that suggested she might have been just as nervous as he was about talking to each other.
Jordan swallowed visibly and gave Lincoln a tentative half smile, regarding him as if to say: Well, you gonna come over here or not?
He forced a weak smile of his own back before finding himself turning on his heel and continuing down the hall. As he passed her, he caught Jordan slightly out of the corner of his eye, but she didn't pursue him as he continued down the hallway. Lincoln felt a bit guilty as he left her behind without a word, but he had decided that now wasn't the best time to speak with her. Soon, they would have to talk about things at length, and this conversation would be one that would likely result in the end of their relationship. She deserved to at least be told in a place where they had the time and privacy for such a discussion, not in the middle of a crowded hallway between classes.
It also, Lincoln realized, gave him some more time to put off an unpleasant conversation that he was not looking forward to. Like ice thickening in the dead of winter, his resolve on the breakup had been steadily growing all throughout the morning, and although he still felt trepidation over the idea of losing Jordan, there was little doubt in his mind at this point that it was the right decision to make. The fact was, he had spent the past year and a half trying to get used to the more intense aspects of her overbearing personality, but found it to be an exercise in futility. As far back as middle school, she had always come across as someone who was assertive and outspoken, and Lincoln liked those aspects of her personality when he had first begun dating her. Jordan was always the first to jump at a chance to speak her mind, to put forth her thoughts and opinions with conviction. He admired her boldness and confidence, and she could be a lot of fun when her spirit was channeled into positive pursuits. Her adventurous tendencies and enthusiasm for life was infectious and a welcome presence in his own life — he would have never known the joy of trying something like rock climbing, or taking an impromptu road trip, or skinny dipping at night if he hadn't started going out with her.
But although it was these traits that had helped draw him in initially, there were other sides to Jordan's strong personality he discovered during their time together which he wasn't nearly so fond of, and lately they seemed to rear their head more often. She had always had a temper, but recently she had been flying off the handle over the smallest of things. His sister Lynn was the first one to notice and point it out to him, and she'd been growing increasingly vocal in her disapproval of his relationship as of late, calling Jordan "that psycho bitch" on more than one occasion. As much as Lincoln wanted to tell Lynn off and stand up for his girlfriend, her assessment of Jordan was starting to feel less and less unwarranted.
Just last month, for instance, she had a complete meltdown because he admittedly forgot to pick her up for a date or call her when he had accidentally nodded off on the couch after a particularly exhausting day at school. Sure, it wasn't cool of him to leave her stranded like that, but her reaction to the incident was, in typical Jordan fashion, completely over the top and melodramatic. She'd showed up at his house, immediately storming in when Lincoln opened the front door and proceeding to fly off the handle at him. She cursed him out and yelled about how he was the worst boyfriend ever, how he had acted inconsiderate and selfish, and that he deserved to be dumped for such behavior, but she was a merciful person so she wasn't going to.
This, of course, took place in full view of his sisters, who gradually filed in around them to witness the spectacle. His face had burned red hot with shame the entire time she tore into him, and when Jordan finished her rant, she stormed off, slamming the door behind her.
Although she had apologized afterwards, there was little comfort to be found in the half-hearted apology text he received from her two hours after the incident. Jordan let him know that she was just having a bad day and that it wasn't really about him. He forgave her, as usual, but it certainly wasn't the last incident of its kind.
Presently, Lincoln had come to the end of the hallway when he felt a hand suddenly on his shoulder. Turning around, he found an uncharacteristically contrite Jordan before him; she had apparently followed him after all. She regarded him with an apologetic smile and took his hands in hers, pulling them against her chest. "Hey, Linc," she said softly, and leaned in to peck him on the lips before continuing. "Sorry, but I didn't know if you wanted me to come over and talk to you or not."
He blinked at her in surprise, feeling a flush in his cheeks as Jordan squeezed his hands and smiled. "Um... yeah, no worries," Lincoln replied after a moment's hesitation. "I just wasn't sure if now was the best time to talk." He didn't meet her eyes, but instead looked down at their conjoined hands; admittedly, even now it felt nice to have her fingers interlocked with his. She was rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand, and her gentle, affectionate touch was making him feel guilty about what he had been preparing to do.
Lincoln gave a tentative squeeze back, and Jordan let out a soft sigh. "Yeah, I guess it's not easy for you to talk to me sometimes," she admitted with a humorless chuckle. "Especially when I get all… bitchy, like I did yesterday." Her cheeks were tinged pink, and Lincoln found himself surprised to see her in a rare display of vulnerability.
"Hey," he replied, feeling a lump in his throat as her grip tightened. "It's alright, you didn't... it's not..." He trailed off, letting his words hang in the air between them. It was, of course, a blatant lie; things were not alright between them and they both knew it. As much as he hated the thought of breaking her heart, he wasn't sure he could keep going with Jordan like this.
But here she was, being so demure with him. Unguarded and genuine. It was almost enough for him to forget all of the ways that Jordan had been such a thorn in his side. And she had apologized, after all. Did that count for anything?
"Can we... talk about this later?" Lincoln found himself asking. He pulled away from Jordan's hold, feeling another twinge of guilt at the disappointment that flashed on her face. "Maybe after school or something?"
"Y-yeah," she stammered. "That's fine." There was an awkward pause, and the two of them stared at each other for a moment before Jordan suddenly leaned in, throwing her arms around Lincoln and giving him a tight hug. He stiffened in her embrace, and she quickly drew back, mumbling an apology. "I-I just thought you needed a hug, or something," she said with a forced laugh, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Anyway, I gotta go, but, um, yeah. I'll see you soon?"
"...Yeah. See you." With that, Lincoln turned and continued walking down the hallway, acutely aware of Jordan's eyes on him as he departed. Once he had gotten a distance away from her, Lincoln leaned back against a locker and sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he felt his head throbbing. I have to do this. I have to, have to... But he couldn't keep his mind from returning to the sight of Jordan's flushed cheeks and soft tone, and it gave him pause.
A whirlwind of conflicting emotions and thoughts roiled within Lincoln as he made his way to second period.
By the time gym class rolled around near the end of the day, Jordan was a bundle of nervous energy, practically thrumming with an anxious anticipation. Lincoln shared this period with her, and it would soon be time to finally have that talk with him, even though she hadn't quite figured out what she was going to tell him. All she knew for certain was that she had to find a way to let him know how things were going to change from here on out; that she was done being an overly-emotional control freak, and was going to start being more considerate, less confrontational. She wasn't exactly sure in what way she'd convey all this to him — articulating feelings was more Linc's forte — but she was determined to at least try, and hope that her words came out sounding somewhat coherent in the moment.
After changing into her gym clothes, she walked out of the locker room and took a seat on the bleachers while the rest of the students filed in, craning her neck as she scanned the crowd of students for her boyfriend. Both seniors and freshmen took P.E. class together, and the gymnasium was filling up fast with the sound of boisterous, energetic teenagers chatting and goofing around as they awaited the start of class.
She eventually was able to spot him among the throng, walking alongside Clyde as they took their seats at the other end of the bleacher. Lincoln glanced up at her, giving a faint smile and a nod of acknowledgement before turning back towards Clyde and carrying on in conversation with him. She was a bit disappointed, hoping to at least catch him before gym began to get in a few words, but Jordan supposed it didn't really matter. After class, the two of them could find somewhere to be alone and properly talk things through.
Before long, Coach Lakren blew the whistle to signify the start of class. Standing in the front of the bleachers, she stood with a clipboard in her hands, a short woman with a stocky, athletic build and short auburn hair tucked behind her ears. She started to go on about that day's activities, how one group of students would be playing basketball inside while another would head out to the field to play soccer. Of course, it was just Jordan's luck that the groupings were segregated between the bleachers, and Lincoln ended up being assigned to head out to the field for soccer while Jordan remained behind in the gym for basketball. She suppressed a groan of irritation as her boyfriend began to file out with his half of the class, but resolved not to let it dampen her mood.
Jordan paid scant attention to the coach's words as she outlined the rules for the basketball match, instead focusing her gaze on the back of Lincoln's head as he made his way outside with the rest of his group. He had his head tilted slightly, sort of looking down at the wooden plank bleachers beneath his feet, and even from across the gymnasium Jordan could tell that something was off about him. His shoulders were sagging, his posture slouched; something about it made Jordan's chest ache.
"...so, get out there and have fun, guys," Coach Lakren was saying. "Now, let's get started!" She clapped her hands together and blew her whistle. Students began to rise and head to the center of the gym.
Jordan looked up as one of her friends, a tall brunette girl named Mollie, sidled up next to her. "I don't know about you, but I'm having a ton of fun already!" she exclaimed sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
Jordan laughed weakly. "Yeah, tons and tons." She turned to steal one last look Lincoln, but he had already slipped out of the door.
"Hey," she began, glancing at the doorway where Lincoln had left and then back to her. "I saw you two in the hall earlier." She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. "Everything alright?"
"Oh. Uh, yeah. I mean, we kinda had a fight yesterday," Jordan admitted, running a hand through her hair. "But, it's whatever, you know?"
Mollie scoffed. "Of course you did. It's you and Lincoln, after all." When Jordan shot her a glare, she raised her hands defensively, taking a step back. "Hey, I'm just calling it as I see it," she said with a shrug. "You guys are cute together, sure, but let's be real... you're always arguing about something."
She wanted to be dismissive, to say something witty to shut Mollie's dumb comments down, but all the snappy, sassy replies Jordan's brain came up with ended up fizzing away and dissipating just before reaching her throat. "Whatever," was what ended up coming out, but Jordan had to agree that the remark had a conspicuous lack of heat and an awful lot of hesitancy.
Her lips set themselves in a straight, unamused line for the rest of class while the students dribbled balls up and down the gym. The girls and guys on her team were all giving it their best and she could tell they were taking the game seriously, but it was difficult for her to work up any real interest. Even as she watched Mollie shoot a basket and give a holler of joy, it was all just... passing noise to her, the sound of her teammate's cheer no different to her than the squeaking of sneakers on the floor. At one point, Jordan managed to shoot a three-pointer that left the backboard trembling with a sharp clank after a three pointer sank into the netting, followed by cheers as teammates smacked fives or bro hugged. She nodded at them, but she couldn't even manage a half smile at the praise. All that consumed her thoughts was a certain white-haired boy who was out on the soccer field.
The next hour or so passed by rather uneventfully. Jordan was eventually able to get a bit more invested into the game after some time, even managing to steal the ball and make a few more baskets for her team. She had always been a bit of a natural athlete, and sports came easy to her, although she had never spent the time or effort to join any official school teams or anything. Finally, the bell rang to signal the end of the period. Jordan practically jumped from her seat the moment the buzzer sounded, tossing the basketball haphazardly aside in her hurry to get to the other gym.
Students were already filing inside, and she stood on her tiptoes, scanning the crowd for Lincoln. Seeing no sign of him, she began to make her way outside, pushing past several sweaty boys who protested as she shoved past them. "Watch it!" one scrawny guy grunted as she elbowed him in the side.
Jordan turned to him with a scowl. "Bite me, asshole!" she snapped. The boy seemed to be taken aback by her response, and held up his hands in an I don't want any trouble gesture as he shuffled away.
She continued on until she reached the double doors, stepping out onto the athletic field. In the near distance, she at last caught sight of her boyfriend, walking alongside his younger sister, Lucy, a dark-haired girl whose black gym clothes were caked with dust and grass stains. They were deep in conversation, Lucy standing with her arms crossed and Lincoln looking down at her with a furrowed brow. As Jordan approached, she heard Lincoln saying something about "staying out of trouble" and "not letting them provoke you."
"Hey, Lincoln," she said, drawing both of their attention. He turned to face her, and Lucy gave a nod of acknowledgement, uncrossing her arms and shoving them into her pockets. "Um, can we talk?"
He paused for a moment, staring back at her, before slowly nodding. "Yeah. Sure." The words came out clipped, a little more terse than she would have expected. He turned to his sister. "I'll see you at home, okay? Please try to stay out of trouble until then, Luce."
She sighed and rolled her eyes, giving her brother a sarcastic, mock salute. "Yes, sir. I promise not to get into any more fights today."
Lincoln laughed, and Jordan found herself letting out a soft giggle at the sight. She'd missed hearing that laugh from him.
Jordan put her hands on Lincoln's back and playfully nudged him away from Lucy. "Go on," she told the younger girl teasingly, "we have things to talk about." Lucy raised an eyebrow, but didn't protest as she continued back inside.
Now that they were finally alone together, Jordan found herself at a loss for words. She had been anticipating this moment since she'd seen him that morning, but now, suddenly face to face with him, her mouth was dry, and her brain felt like mush.
"So... what was that you were talking about with Lucy?" she started, thinking that small talk was a good enough way to start.
He let out a sigh. "Oh, it was nothing. She just got in trouble again for fighting with some boys who were messing with her. It's been happening a lot lately." He shook his head. "I really wish she wouldn't let these little assholes get to her like this. She's better than them."
Jordan shrugged. "Hey, she's still in freshman year. Everyone acts like a dumbass when they're a freshman." She reached out to touch his shoulder, giving it a squeeze, and Lincoln looked down at her with a hint of a smile. "She's a tough girl, though. I'm sure she'll be fine."
"Yeah." He sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "I guess you're right." His smile became more pronounced, and the two of them held each other's gazes for a moment before Jordan felt her cheeks flushing with heat. "So, um, what did you wanna talk about?"
"R-right." She cleared her throat, letting go of his arm and rubbing her hands together. "So, I wanted to say something about yesterday." Jordan looked up to meet his gaze, and hesitated for a moment before forging ahead. "I wanted to say... that I was, um, really wrong for getting mad at you over something so stupid. I shouldn't have, you know, gotten so upset like I did, and I just... I just wanted to apologize." She stared up at him hopefully. "I'm sorry."
He nodded, and his hand slipped into hers. Their fingers interlocked and she felt his warm grip tighten around hers, sending a jolt of electricity through her chest. "I... yeah, I appreciate that," Lincoln mumbled. He was still looking away, and his voice was strained. She was beginning to feel more and more anxious that he didn't seem to be able to look her in the eye. "You've, uh, really been making a habit of this lately, though. It's starting to get kinda... old." The words felt like a knife in the gut.
"Yeah, I know." She sucked in a deep breath, steadying herself. "I'm a bitch." Her voice cracked and she let out a shaky laugh. "A huge bitch, and you don't deserve that from me. You're too sweet and too good a guy, and you don't need all the drama and bullshit that I bring into your life."
He winced. "That's a bit harsh..." By now, the rest of the other students had made their way back inside, leaving the two of them alone.
"Yeah, well." She shrugged. "It's true, isn't it?"
"Look, it's not..." He hesitated. "I mean, don't beat yourself up so much. You're not a bitch, okay? You're just... really strong willed and passionate, and sometimes you have a hard time seeing past your own feelings, but you're not a bad person. Not at all."
His words were meant to be soothing, she knew, but they stung more than he probably realized. She shook her head, letting out a humorless chuckle. "But you agree, right? That you don't deserve me dragging you into these stupid arguments and then treating you like shit over them?" Lincoln opened his mouth as if to protest, but she cut him off. "I mean, I'm not crazy, Linc. I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with. I know that, and I know you deserve better than what I've given you." Her throat tightened, but she continued, even as tears began to sting her eyes. "And I don't blame you for wanting to break up with me."
He looked taken aback at this. "Hey, hey, I'm not saying—"
She stopped him by raising her hand. "Don't. Okay? Just... just don't. It's obvious that you're not happy with me." A tear fell down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away, embarrassed at how easily she was brought to tears. "And I get it — you have every right to be mad at me, and to not want to put up with my crap anymore. I've been an awful girlfriend." She choked back a sob, looking up at him pleadingly. "But... please, give me a chance. Give us a chance. I know we have something worth fighting for, Lincoln. We're best friends, and you mean so much to me. I don't want to t-throw this all away."
Jordan felt her heart pounding in her ears as she stood before him, waiting for his response. She hadn't meant to come on so strong, but the words had just come pouring out of her mouth before she could stop them. Now, all she could do was hope that he understood.
She saw his face soften as he looked at her. He reached up and gently brushed away another tear from her cheek. "Hey. Come on, don't cry." He gave a reassuring squeeze of her hand and offered her a smile. "I really appreciate that. And I agree, you know? I think we have something worth fighting for, too." Then, his expression grew a bit less warm, his brow furrowing slightly. "I'm not gonna lie, though. It's been tough lately. Sometimes I feel like I can't say or do anything right without it turning into an argument with you."
Her stomach twisted into a knot. "I know," she said quietly, looking down at her feet. "I'm sorry."
"No, listen, it's okay." He lifted her chin up and she met his gaze once more. "I'm willing to try, if you are. But... we have to work on communicating better. No more yelling and throwing tantrums when things don't go your way."
"That sounds fair." She paused. "And... I won't kick you in the shin anymore, either." Jordan laughed weakly.
At that, Lincoln laughed a bit, too. "Well, I wasn't going to bring it up, but yeah, that'd be nice." He reached out to ruffle her hair playfully. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't bruise me anymore, Jordan."
She couldn't help but smile back at him. Her chest felt lighter now that the worst of the storm seemed to have passed, and she couldn't stop herself from throwing her arms around him in a hug. "You got it," she said, and squeezed him tight. "No more shin kicks."
His body relaxed against hers as he returned the embrace, wrapping his own arms securely around her waist. She breathed deeply, taking in his scent, letting it fill her lungs and calm her nerves. His hand came up behind her head, fingers running through her hair. They stayed like that for a long time, simply holding each other. Around them, the day seemed to grow brighter, the air more crisp and the sky more vibrant.
"We don't have to throw a stupid back-to-school party," Jordan mumbled into his shoulder after a while. "We can just hang out and do whatever you want this weekend. Go see a movie, or play some video games at my house — normal, boring, coupley shit." She looked up at him with a teasing smirk. "Is that good with you?"
He gave her another squeeze. "Actually... I think I've changed my mind about that."
She blinked, pulling away slightly to look him in the eye. "Wait, seriously?"
Lincoln laughed softly, nodding. "Yeah, seriously. I know how much it means to you." He smiled down at her. "And hey, maybe I'll even have fun, who knows?"
She giggled, shaking her head in disbelief. "Well, if you're sure..."
He nodded again, more firmly this time. "I'm sure. Let's throw a party, Jordan."