About two weeks had passed since the Meekrob incident. Dib had told the AI the rest of the details, which made it sputter, letting out a few shocked bursts of static, before going quiet while trying to process it. Zim had laughed and said he'd have told it earlier if that would make it shut up…shockingly, it hadn't responded.
After a day or so, it started speaking again, though not much…mostly asking if they'd 'known what they'd done'. Neither were concerned by the worry it seemed to have.
Instead, they were much more focused on hopping from planet to unknown planet in Dark Space, recording their findings. After a few days, they were very confident that no one was tracking or following them, but they still went further into the unknown. A week after Dib's call home, they started to turn, making a circle through the uncharted area and planning to swing around.
That wide loop brought them back into charted space in another week. Their supplies were starting to run low, though not dangerously so. They knew they weren't being followed, and Dib had even scanned the whole ship himself for any tracking devices. So…Dib brought up the idea of going back to Earth.
"Already?" Zim said.
"It's been a few months," Dib said.
"Yes, but only a few weeks since Meekrob."
"Which no one seems to know we were involved in. Or at least, they don't know where we are," Dib pointed out. "And it'd be nice to stay on a civilized planet for a bit, visit my family again…"
Zim didn't need much convincing to tell the ship to navigate to the nearest jump gate. From there, it would take them about a day to reach Earth, perhaps a bit less. Dib beamed and kissed him on the cheek in thanks.
The trip was, for the most part, uneventful. They made several quick hops through jump gates until emerging from the same one they'd used in their initial trip leaving Earth. After that, it was several hours of smooth sailing, discussing with each other what they'd do once back on the planet. They'd started going through jump gates early enough in the 'day' that they should land late in the afternoon, so Dib would have a chance to at least call his family to tell them of his arrival.
Dib's eyes lit up when they finally arrived at his home planet, a grin spreading across his face. It looked the same as when they had left it. Zim nudged the controls, circling around the planet until they were above their city, then cruised downward as Dib turned on the cloaking device.
Everything was the same in the city as they flew over it…maybe there were a few new buildings here and there, but it looked and felt about the same. Zim cruised to his base, the roof folding open and exposing a tunnel straight to the hangar, which he dived down into, landing and parking the Voot.
Dib stood up and stretched as soon as they stopped. Zim also got up, reaching over to open the windshield…but then, he suddenly froze, staring at something just outside their ship. He quickly grabbed Dib and dragged him to the floor of the ship.
"Ow! What—"
"Shh," Zim said. "...look at the hangar. But quickly."
Dib raised an eyebrow, but lifted himself up to peek over the dashboard. It only took him a second to realize why Zim had freaked out, and he quickly dropped down to join his partner.
"...why are there two extra ships here?" he hissed.
"How should I know!?" Zim hissed back. "And they're...Irken models."
"Shit. Shit. How did they find us?" Dib bit his lip and anxiously tugged at his sleeves. "What do we do?"
"We've got to take them out before they take us out," Zim said, darting to the back and grabbing two guns from storage, passing the smaller of them to Dib. "Let's assume they already know we're here, so we've got to hurry. Hopefully the Computer is still loyal—I know Minimoose will be, if we could find them."
He adjusted his grip on the gun, then opened the cockpit and jumped out. "Computer! State who your Master is!" he barked.
"Uhh. That's would be you, Master." Dib climbed out, scanning the corners of the hangar. "And the Human Dib, I guess."
"Good, good," Zim huffed. "Now, where are the intruders!?"
"Intruders? …top floor," they said. "But Master, you should know that—"
Zim let out an irritated click. "Trying to block our exits! Well, it's not going to work." He snapped and pointed to Dib. "Dib! Most secure, quick route between upper and lower levels of the base?"
"Probably the vents," Dib said after wracking his brain for a few seconds. He'd never found a route that led right to the hangar, but he did recall one that was pretty close by…he holstered his gun and headed that way, Zim following right behind him.
"Hey. You both might want to know that—!"
"Silence!" Zim said, while Dib found the vent cover and pointed it out. "We must be sneaky. Do your part by apprehending the intruders!" He moved past Dib and pulled the cover off, diving inside.
"Yeah, yeah, they're not moving soon, but really—"
Dib lingered, waiting for the Computer to finish, but Zim reached out and pulled him in before he could. In the vent, the Computer's voice was muffled, and all Dib could reliably make out was an electronic sigh.
"No time," Zim said, using his PAK legs to lift himself up in the vent, still holding his gun in both hands. "We need to strike!" He began to scurry through, and up, the vent, Dib following right behind him. There were a few vertical section that would have given Dib some trouble, but Zim grabbed him with a claw from his PAK to lift him up.
They eventually made it to the upper house, crawling above the ceiling of wires. Zim raised a finger to his lips…and Dib could hear something just below them. Sounded like…music? But with a lot of loud clicking in time with it, like someone rapidly mashing a lever or button.
At the opening of the vent, Zim tightened his grip on the gun. He glanced back at Dib, face set in determination. He raised all three fingers and started to count down, Dib adjusting his own weapon in preparation.
Once he'd lowered all his fingers, Zim slammed his fist down on the vent covering, making it fall to the floor. He jumped out after it, using his PAK legs to land and swivel his gun around. "Surrender, or regret trying to intrude on Zim's—"
His voice cut off with a gasp. Worried, Dib dove in after him, managing to keep a hold of his gun as he landed behind Zim. He pointed his weapon at the intruders—and froze, surprised.
Three Irkens were sitting on the couch, seeming nearly as surprised as them. And Dib actually recognized two of them! "Tenn? Tak!?"
"Skoodge!" Zim cried, pointing at the pudgier third Irken Dib didn't know. Said Irken raised their hand in a small wave.
The three of them looked like they were…well, relaxing. Tenn was in the middle, a plastic guitar in her hands and a black cat—MiMi—curled against her side. Tak was beside her, one hand resting on Mimi. The third Irken was eating from a large bag, cheese dust all over his gloves and face.
Belatedly, Dib realized music was playing behind them on the TV. A very quick glance over his shoulder showed it was a rhythm game…which quickly stopped with a 'Game Over' flashing onscreen.
"Oh…darn it," Tenn huffed, lowering the guitar. Dib's attention quickly snapped back to her.
"That's all you care about!? A game?"
Tak glared at him, crossing her arms. "It's not all we care about. Doesn't mean we don't care about it, though."
Dib's eyelid twitched. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins, preparing him for a fight that, for some reason, wasn't starting. But if they weren't ambushing them yet, he would at least get some answers.
"What are you doing here!?" he shouted. "The Earth isn't in any of the Empire's databases! So how did you even find it!?"
"I wanted to try and find my own human," Tenn said. "I gave her a ride in exchange for directions." She pointed at Tak.
"Like I needed the database to remember exactly where I could find Zim," Tak said. "And I came for payback."
"Um." The third Irken raised his hand. "I'm Skoodge. I lived here for a little bit, so I still know the coordinates. I thought I'd come visit Zim." He waved over at Zim, who gaped and swiveled to point dramatically at him.
Dib kept eyeing them all suspiciously, clutching his gun in both hands. Tak scowled at him. "Would you both put those things away already?"
"No!" Dib snapped. "I mean—are we supposed to believe three of you just happened to come to Earth, especially after what happened on Meekrob!?"
"It's only mostly a coincidence, really," Tenn offered, twitching when both Zim and Dib whirled to face her.
Tak shifted over, placing a protective arm in front of Tenn and glaring at them. "Look. Holster your weapons, and we'll explain."
"…fine! But try any of your tricks again, and…and you'll regret it!" Zim said, reluctantly lowering his weapon. Dib was curious enough that he also put his weapon away.
Tak lowered her arm, standing a little straighter. "In summary…Zim wasn't showing up in any of the databases, so everyone figured that he had died and his PAK was destroyed," Tak said. "When I heard about that, I figured there was no point in waiting to get my revenge, so I went to retake my Invader Evaluation—well, to convince them to let me retake my Evaluation, anyway."
Tenn raised her hand. "I was there, too, by the Brains' decree," she said. "To be debriefed and check my skills after...well. What happened during my last mission."
"We ran into each other," Tak said. "Talked briefly. And she mentioned that Zim was still alive."
"I honestly didn't know you were 'supposed' to be dead," Tenn added.
"How many others did you tell?" Dib asked accusingly. "Just how many are headed here!?"
"Oh, please," Tak scoffed. "No one else is interested in Zim or this filthy little planet."
"And we left almost right after that, so we didn't have time to tell anyone else about him," Tenn pointed out.
Dib narrowed his eyes, still suspicious. He turned to face Skoodge, pointing at him accusingly. "What about you, then?"
Skoodge shrugged. "I was a bit out of the loop, but heard rumors that Zim was gone. I found that hard to believe, so I just needed to check for myself."
Zim leaned over to pat Dib's arm. "Worry not, my human! Skoodge is a useful ally." He glared at the other two. "These two, on the other hand…!"
Tak scoffed, glaring right back at him. "Before you try acting so confident, maybe you should remember—we were here, waiting for you. We're ready for anything you could possibly throw at us."
"Oh, really?" Zim said. "Even…GIR!?"
There was a beat of silence, everyone waiting for something to happen.
Zim groaned loudly. "GIIIR, that was your cue to attack the intruders! Where is he, anyway?"
"Not anywhere near here, I hope," Tenn mumbled.
"Don't worry…we're ready for anything that insane little robot could do this time," Tak said with a small smirk. "MiMi's defenses are fortified since last time."
Upon hearing her name, MiMi raised her head. Her red eyes focused on Zim, flashing brightly as they narrowed into a glare. There was a slight click as she shifted, half on Tenn's lap but now facing Zim and Dib.
Tenn shivered, picking up MiMi and setting her in Tak's lap instead. MiMi tilted her head, but settled down there, curling up and watching the room with half-lidded eyes.
"Good work," Tak said, patting Tenn's shoulder. "Nearly fifteen whole human-minutes there."
Tenn huffed, crossing her arms...a faint blush on her face. "We're not discussing this. Especially not in front of them, since they're finally here."
"...what do you mean 'finally'?" Dib asked with narrowed eyes. "We only saw you a few weeks ago! And you shouldn't even be on this planet in the first place, you...you alien menaces!"
"And we've spent most of those weeks waiting for you to return," Tenn said, Tak nodding in agreement.
"We were considering just messaging you to come back, really, with his long you were taking," Tak said. "Though waiting for you did give us the chance to…accomplish a few things."
Tenn grinned, kicking her feet and looking pleased with herself. Skoodge continued to just watch, munching on his snacks. Dib felt himself grow pale, mind racing with all the terrible things the three might have done without anyone to stop them on Earth—
But before he could demand answers, the front door opened. Dib's head snapped over to it, and Gaz walked in, her eyes briefly opening when she saw him. "Oh, you're back."
"Gaz!" Dib jumped to his feet, running over to give her a quick hug (which she grunted about) before whirling around to face the Irkens, arms spread out protectively. They ignored him, though Tenn perked up upon seeing Gaz, and even Tak appeared interested.
"Stay back, Gaz," he muttered in a whisper. "There are more Irkens in here, we can't trust them!"
"I know they're here. Who do you think I came to see?" Gaz said. She ducked under his arm and started to walk to the couch. Dib panicked and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close in a protective hug. She grunted and stomped on his foot, making him yelp and let go.
Before he could do anything else, she approached the couch, reaching into her bag and handing Tenn and Tak soda cans—regular cola for Tak, strawberry for Tenn. "Thank you," Tenn said appreciatively.
Gaz…smiled, plopping next to her, and Tenn curled against her side, sipping her soda. Dib boggled at them. "…okay, what is going on here?" he demanded.
His sister looked at him, a gleam of cruel amusement in her eyes. She tapped Tenn on the shoulder, and when she turned to look—leaned forward and packed her lightly on the lips.
Dib wheezed, the breath pushed out of his lungs from the shock. It couldn't be so, and yet…! "You're...you're dating an alien menace!?" he shrieked, hands flying to the side of his head.
"Nope," Gaz said. Before Dib could feel any relief or confusion, she leaned over to peck Tak on the lips, too. "Dating two alien menaces."
"I…buh…whu…" Dib stammered, gripping fistfuls of his hair. Nothing made sense, and…!
The three of them were all smirking at him. Enjoying his pain. He could see Tenn and Tak's expressions morphing into such wicked, evil grins, their minds probably filled with plans of harming his poor innocent sister—!
He screeched—a combination of rage, fear, and shock—and managed to shout a few things at the Irkens who were too close to his sister before everything became a blur.
When Dib next blinked, he was staring up at a ceiling of cables…Zim hovering just above him, a hand placed on his forehead.
"Did…did they get me?" Dib asked, feeling the throb of a headache.
Zim's mouth wobbled into a wavy line. "…you screamed gibberish, flailed around in their general direction, and then you passed out."
"…oh." Feeling his cheeks heating up, he slowly sat up. That's when he realized he'd been laying on the couch…and that everyone else was standing around the living room, watching him. His cheeks grew a little warmer, and he huffed, crossing his arms.
"What, don't you have anything better to do?" he snapped at them.
"Hey, just be glad we gave you the couch instead of leaving you laying on the floor," Gaz said.
His gaze snapped to her, and he glared. "May I…speak with you, Gaz?" His glare darted to the two Irkens who were standing much too close to her. "In private?"
"We all already know what this is about, so just say it," Gaz said.
"…fine. Fine!" He jabbed a finger in the direction of Tak and Tenn. "You can't date them!"
Gaz crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow. "Really."
"Yes, really! They're evil, they're…they're just using you for some evil plan of theirs!"
"Mhmm."
Dib was growing agitated at her uninterested grunts. "And! Even if it's not manipulation! They're dangerous!" He pointed at Tak. "She lied to us all and tried to destroy Earth!" He pointed at Tenn. "She tried to conquer Meekrob, and…and was so dangerous a whole army waited just to get her back for their evil empire instead of attacking!"
Tenn flinched, and…started to fidget, gaze flicking to the ground. Dib narrowed his eyes. "What? Am I wrong? Or are there even more evil things you've done?"
"Well. I. It's just, the real reason the barricade was there for so long was..." Tenn sighed heavily. "My Tallest were...busy with other things. Giving orders to the army there...slipped their mind, so the Irkens in charge of the barricade simply watched and waited, since those were their last orders."
"...they forgot about you!?" Dib said. "After you ended up stranded on an isolated planet? The one they sent you to!?"
"'Forgot' is a strong word," Tenn said. "They remembered me as soon as I gave my report! ...I was just...a lower priority since the situation was being handled, and I wasn't actively reporting, so..."
"Lower priority? For being stranded on a hostile planet with no contact?" Dib said. "...and I thought they couldn't get worse."
The three new Irkens all bristled, and even Zim twitched a little. "Do not speak ill of the Tallest!" Tak growled.
Dib leaned back, raising his hands in defense…then turned to face Gaz. "See? They're brainwashed to worship their Empire, they'd sell you out in a heartbeat! And if…if you'd called and told me, I would've told you that!"
"Yes, and you'd have flown home immediately and either run into danger or start attacking my girlfriends right away," Gaz pointed out. "Of course I didn't want to tell you until you were here."
Feeling hurt, Dib opened his mouth to protest…and then closed it. He probably would have done that. Still, he huffed and crossed his arms. "I'm still right that they're dangerous and…un-dateable!"
Gaz raised both eyebrows, giving him a Look. "Seriously? You're getting on my case about this?"
"…what's that supposed to mean?"
"Dude. Zim tried to kill you."
Dib waved her off. "That was years ago. We got past that."
"After he manipulated you into liking him in the first place! And kidnapped you!"
"Oh, are you going to get on my case all over this again?" he said, crossing his arms.
"Only if you keep acting like a hypocrite about this!" Gaz snapped. "What I'm doing isn't any more dangerous than what you're doing with Zim, so don't act like you're any better than me."
"...at least I'm only dating one alien, who's no longer evil, and not TWO aliens who are probably still as evil as before!"
Gaz, totally unbothered, rolled her eyes at him. "And how do you know they haven't changed?"
"Why would they!? Plus, even if they aren't intending to hurt you or anyone, just having them on this planet, and you, in danger!" Dib said, gesturing to the three Irkens. "Don't you get it!?"
"No, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me," Gaz said dryly.
"The Irken Empire can detect where all PAKs are!" Dib shouted. "They'll be able to trace all three of you, and they can follow you all here, putting Earth in danger all over again!"
"Oh, please," Tak scoffed. "The Empire doesn't care about this little planet."
Dib glared at her, pointing to Zim. "Then why was Zim sent here in the first place, then!?" Zim made a noise of agreement, crossing his arms and looking almost smug.
Tak's lips wobbled, and she barked out a quick laugh. It was just enough to make Dib falter—he wasn't sure what was so funny about what he'd said. He glanced over at Zim, whose glazed-over expression showed he was just about as in the dark as Dib was.
"What's so funny?" Dib demanded from her.
"Zim really hasn't told you anything, has he?" she chuckled. "I thought even he would have realized the truth by now, especially after Judgementia. I thought that's why he suddenly left with you and turned traitor…then again, I never should have expected him to make any smart realizations."
"…huh?" Dib said. He noticed Zim shiver when 'Judgementia' was brought up, but still had a blank look.
"Earth was never of any interest to the Empire. Ever," Tak said bluntly. "Zim's mission was just a ruse they played on him. A way to make sure he actually stayed banished instead of…quitting." The last word was said in a disdainful sneer.
"That's…you're lying," Dib said. It couldn't have been true, because otherwise, what…what had he and Zim been fighting over for years? He turned to look at his partner, whose gaze was still utterly blank. Like he wasn't even paying attention.
Tak chuckled. "It's no lie. They'd never trust Zim with a real mission, but they didn't want him anywhere near the Empire. Not after how many lives he's ruined, the destruction he caused! Operation Impending Doom was only the final tipping point that got him banished after a long string of failures!"
"I was amazing!" Zim insisted. "I destroyed more than any other Invader!"
Tenn and Skoodge both cringed, and Tak's expression twisted into…somewhere between a scowl and an amused sneer. Zim turned to Skoodge. "Skoodge, you know I'm right!"
"You…technically are," Skoodge said. "…but Zim, you do remember that—"
"See? Zim is the best!"
"How long will it take to get it through your thick skull?" Tak growled. "You're the worst, and everyone knows it…except you, apparently!"
She strode forward, getting right in Zim's face. "And just so you know? Everyone was glad when we thought you had died," she hissed. "They celebrated the fact you were gone!"
"No," Zim said insistently. "They wouldn't. Zim is adored."
"You are despised," Tak snarled in his face. "After all you've done to the Empire, you think it wouldn't be a relief for you to finally be gone? That they wouldn't—"
Dib, having had enough, surged forward. He grabbed Tak by the shoulders, shoving her back and away from Zim. It caught her enough by surprise that she stumbled, Tenn stepping forward to place a hand on her back and keep her steady.
"You're lying!" Zim shouted at her. "You lie!" He turned and stormed off to the nearest elevator, heading down into the depths of the base.
Tak scoffed. "Idiot."
Dib shot her a glare. "Shut up," he snapped. "Don't talk about him like that!"
Gaz glared at him and cracked her knuckles, but Tak…was unbothered. "Well, he is," she said. "It's been years, and he still didn't realize some obvious facts."
"I don't know about that," Skoodge mused. Everyone turned to look at him. "Zim's very cunning, very creative…he just…chooses what he wants to remember, sometimes."
Tak scoffed. "After everything he's done, you're saying he doesn't even remember? That still makes him an idiot. Especially since everyone knows everything after Judgementia."
"Okay, what is Judgementia?" Dib asked.
All the Irkens paused, seeming hesitant. It was Tak who spoke up again. "It's the planet where major trials, such as Existence Evaluations, are held," she said. "Criminals, and sometimes space clowns, are tried. If found defective, or traitorous, they're deleted on the spot."
She ground her teeth. "That should have been the end for Zim, but no, he managed to worm his way out of punishment again."
Zim had been on space trial and never told him? Or about any of the other things? Dib felt shocked, and turned to Skoodge. "Everything she said. Was that true?"
Skoodge fidgeted with his hands, frowning and giving a small nod. Dib sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and standing up. "I'm going to talk to him," he declared, already heading towards the trash can elevator. No one else tried to stop him.
In the depths of the base, he only needed a few minutes of searching to find Zim. On a hunch, he checked one of the armories—and found his partner there, scanning over weapons and talking to himself about which would be most painful.
His head snapped up when he heard Dib enter, and beamed when he saw him. "Oh, Dib!" he said cheerfully. "I'm just looking for something to take care of our 'wonderful' house guest."
"Mhmm." Dib leaned against an empty part of the wall, while Zim mulled over plasma guns or throwing knives. "Why didn't you ever tell me any of that?" Dib said.
"Any of what?" Zim asked.
Dib crossed his arms. "You know what I'm talking about. Everything Tak was talking about." Zim just turned his head and stared off into space, ignoring him. Dib frowned. "How about that you weren't an Invader when you came to this planet?"
"I was! I was the best Invader!"
"So, was Tak lying about all of that? Your exile, that trial she mentioned?"
"...clearly."
Dib's eyes narrowed. "But, you know...she mentioned something about Operation Impending Doom. I couldn't find much, but I know enough that something happened and stopped it before it even began."
Zim flinched, and Dib's eyes narrowed further. "And you said there are fewer Invaders, now..."
"I…don't recall…"
"I do. At the Vort University library, when we were discussing why the barricade would wait to get Tenn before attacking." Dib flicked his hands to shake off some energy, then pointed at Zim. "You claimed you didn't know why, but you do, don't you? It's all connected, all the stuff you've been trying to hide!"
"Drop it, Dib," Zim growled.
But Dib was never one to take warnings when he could sense answers. "Why can't you just—"
"You want to talk about my past so much!?" Zim snapped, whirling around and jabbing a claw into Dib's chest. "How about we focus on yours!? Like how you're a clone of your father!"
Dib's brain short-circuited, and he stared blankly at Zim. "...huh?"
"Hah! Doesn't feel good talking about your origins, does it!?" Zim said, jabbing him again.
"…run that by me again?"
"You're a clone of your father. Membrane made you, and Gaz, for…whatever his reasons were!" Zim said. "Shall I go on? Shall we review all of the low points and sore spots since your creation, since you're so eager to do that to mine!?"
Dib blinked at him, winded from the revelation. He was…a clone? It was shocking, but somehow it made a few things make sense, which was shocking in its own way…
"...Dib?" Zim said quietly, antennae falling flat against his head as his expression became worried. "I...I shouldn't have said that."
"But it's true?" Dib asked, still feeling a bit shell-shocked.
Zim bit his lip and gave a small nod. "I...your father-unit told me. I wasn't sure if I should tell you, I...I just, when you kept talking about those things, I..."
Dib held up a hand, making him flinch and stop talking. "I just...I need to think," Dib muttered, turning and walking out in a daze.
Even still, he noticed Zim wilt dramatically behind him, expression regretful. But he kept walking through the labyrinthine lair, nearly running into Skoodge, heading in the opposite direction he was. "'scuse me," Dib said reflexively, moving around him.
"Zim's still in there?" Skoodge asked, pointing down the hallway Dib had come from.
"Yeah, yeah," Dib said with a nod, continuing forward until he came to one of the elevators, which he headed up through. Thankfully, he wasn't too stunned, remembering to duck before he hit his head on one of the refrigerator shelves as he stepped out.
Gaz and...the other two were sitting on the couch without a care in the world, playing some game together on the screen. Gaz looked up as soon as she heard Dib step in, cringing when she saw him. "Jeez. What happened now?"
"We're clones of Dad. Of Membrane," Dib said flatly.
Gaz paused her game, eyelids opening to really peer at him as she raised both eyebrows. "…what?"
"Zim just told me. Because Membrane told him but not us, apparently," Dib said, a slight sneer entering his voice.
"Is there an issue with being clones?" Tenn asked, seemingly genuinely confused.
"Well…it's not common in humans. Supposedly impossible, even," Gaz told her.
"…I'm going to find him. Get some answers," Dib declared, continuing to the front door. He noticed Gaz was staying behind, telling her alien menaces something about their father, and he slammed the door with more force than what was probably necessary.
He felt…well. He wasn't quite sure what he was feeling. He had a lot of questions, of course, most of which were directed at his father-un—his dad. So, he continued walking forward, letting his feet carry him towards his old house.
A part of him drank in the familiar path…the part that wasn't coming up with questions. It was a small comfort as he approached his destination, wondering if he would be happy with any of the answers he would get…if he managed to get them.
It didn't take long for him to come you a stop in front of his old home. He paused at the doorway, hand shifting between reaching for the handle or the doorbell, before finally settling on ringing the bell.
He bit his lip, tapping his foot as he waited. Maybe he wasn't here. Maybe he should just enter and check, or maybe—
The door suddenly opened, catching him off-guard. Who else opened it but Professor Membrane, who little up as soon as he saw Dib. "Son!" he cried, leaning forward and patting his shoulder, opening his arms in invitation of a hug. "Welcome home. I trust you're alright?"
Dib swallowed, fidgeting with his hands and trying his best to look him in the eye. There were so many similarities, ones he'd just thought if as a fluke of genetics, but…
"…you are alright, aren't you?" Membrane asked, brow creasing with worry.
"Is…is it true that I'm a clone of you?" Dib blurted out.
Membrane looked surprised, but only for a moment before his face slid into a thoughtful, neutral expression. "Did Zim tell you?"
"It's true, then?" Dib said. "You aren't denying it!"
"Now, son, you know that a lack of information doesn't suddenly make something else correct," Membrane said. "…but yes, it's true."
Dib sighed heavily, leaning forward and sinking his weight partially into the doorframe, partly into his dad. He still wasn't quite sure how to feel. Membrane seemed to hesitate, patting him on the shoulder again.
"You should come in. You can ask me anything you'd like, but this…doesn't seem the place for it." Membrane shifted, stepping aside enough to allow entry.
"…yeah," Dib said, standing up and stepping inside, Membrane closing the door behind him. He headed over to the couch and flopped onto it, tapping his fingers together. Where to even start?
Professor Membrane also looked a bit unsure of where to begin. "…care for a drink?" he asked after a short stretch of silence.
"Fine," Dib said. Membrane's shoulders relaxed as he hurried into the kitchen. Dib sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back. This was his chance, at least, he could try to get all of his thoughts in order.
It wasn't long before Membrane returned, carrying two mugs—the 'caffeine' one Dib had gifted him on Christmas, and a plain blue one he passed to Dib. Though his cup had a teabag seeping in it, there was no such thing in Dib's mug…though it did have a small dollop of whipped cream floating on top.
Dib's eyebrows rose, and he took a sip. It was hot chocolate…very good hot chocolate, actually. He turned to give Membrane a look as he sat on the other end of the couch.
"I figured I should stock up on some of your preferred drinks," he said, taking a sip of his own tea. "For when…when you returned."
"Oh." Dib swallowed. It was small, but something both loosened in his chest and tightened in his throat. He blinked quickly, taking another sip and letting the soothing heat flow through him.
After a while, though, he did manage to find his voice…and the questions he wanted to ask. "Why?"
"Hmm?"
"Why did you…make me?" Dib elaborated, gesturing between the two of them.
Membrane sighed, gaze turning distant before he closed his eyes. "The project began when someone suggested that successfully cloning human life would be impossible in our lifetime," he said. "Naturally, I took that as a challenge. In addition to that, I…the idea of having a clone of myself, who would share my intelligence and PASSION, working beside me was thrilling. The advancements we made could be practically doubled!"
Dib frowned, shifting uncomfortably. Membrane paused, letting his hands fall back to his lap, curling around his mug. "There were several failures, at first," he said. "It wasn't until the fourth subject we finally found success—and that was when you were born.
"After that, I felt...well, accomplished, of course. I'd done what everyone said was impossible, creating human life! And yet, the moment I first held you in my arms, there was...something else. Something stronger."
He sighed, almost fondly. "It didn't take long for me to become attached. When you were still young, I carried you everywhere with me...as much as I could, anyway."
Touching...but Dib frowned. "What changed?" he asked, almost sharply. "I remember you being...distant when I was younger."
Membrane at least had the sense to look a little guilty about that. "You and your sister both showed levels of intelligence and independence higher than children of your age. I had thought that you two would do best looking after each other with minimal guidance. And...I needed to do so much more to improve the world you two would grow up in."
Dib frowned, not impressed. "I now realize that choice...wasn't correct," Membrane continued. "It wasn't right to you or your sister. And I am sorry about...everything."
...Dib believed him. Their relationship might have still been rocky, but at least Membrane had made it clear he cared, and that he regretted the past.
"...I know," he said. "But why did you keep the fact that I'm a clone from me? And from Gaz? Why didn't you ever tell us?"
"I...honestly, it never occurred to me that you didn't know," Membrane admitted. "I never talked about it, but I didn't try to hide it. And since you're aware you didn't have another parent..."
"I...always figured they died before I could remember them," Dib said. "Or they divorced you or something. I didn't really think much about it." The usual absence of the parent he knew he had was on the forefront of his mind more often.
"Oh." Membrane blinked. "Those are…quite rational ideas, if you didn't know the answer."
"Yeah, yeah…" Dib left his daydreams of having a mother who was some form of supernatural creature unsaid. He knew they weren't true, especially now, and even as a kid he'd considered them entertaining thoughts at best.
He sighed. "I still can't believe you told Zim and not me or Gaz, though!"
Membrane had the grace to look abashed. "I did realize after telling him that you deserved to know," he said. "I was just…never sure when the right time was. And when you were out in space, I didn't want to risk upsetting you and putting you in danger…"
"So, were you going to tell me once I came back?"
"…most likely, if the right opportunity presented itself," Membrane said. "I was hoping to first ensure you were safe and in good health, though."
Dib nodded in understanding, drumming his fingers against his mug. "If you'd like," Membrane said after a minute or so of silence, "I can find the files of your 'creation' and send them to you. They're…more scientific notes on your progress without much personal thoughts from myself, but perhaps they'll answer any other questions you think of."
"…that'd be nice, actually," Dib answered, taking another sip of cocoa. Membrane smiled a little, and Dib…well, he certainly felt better than he had when he'd stormed in. Maybe still a little shocked, but better.
His phone buzzed and chimed in his pocket. There were only two other people who could reach him on Earth and knew he was here right now, so he sighed through his pocket to check.
"It's Zim," he told his dad as a flurry of text messages came in, one right after the other. Dib opened the messages app to read them (and to stop the repeated buzzing).
DIB YOUR ORIGINS DON'T MATTER TO WHO YOU ARE NOW. NEITHER DO MINE.
YOU ARNT YOUR FATHER YOU ARE DIB.
YOU ARE MY DIB THATS ALL THAT MATTERS.
PLEASE DONT LEAVE. YOURE MY DIB.
I LOVE YOU PLEASE
PLEASE COME BACK
SORRY
Dib wanted to stay upset. To hold onto his annoyance with him a little bit longer. But Zim apologizing, pleading, just wanting him back…it touched his heart, melting him. With a sigh, he started typing a response.
I'll be back. Promise. Just give me a few more minutes. After sending that, he thought for a minute before sending a second message: Love you, complete with a blue heart.
His phone started buzzing, Zim sending delighted messages of gratitude—all of them in all caps, and several peppered with every heart emoji Zim seemed able to find. Dib chuckled, setting his phone back down. Zim would stop eventually…probably. Hopefully before breaking Dib's phone from the onslaught.
"Is everything alright?" Dad asked.
"Yeah," Dib said. "Zim wanted to apologize. I think he's just happy I'm not holding this against him." He took another quick peek at his phone, scrolling through the messages to make sure there wasn't anything actually important.
And, after a few more message from Zim, he stopped with a final I LOVE YOU, and Dib could relax as he set his phone down again.
"…will you be heading out soon, then?" Dad asked.
"Probably. But not for a few more minutes. I can finish my drink first. …right?"
"Of course you can. You can stay as long as you like," Dad said, smile crinkling his eyes. His smile fell a little, though, and he looked away. "And…would you be heading off the planet soon, as well?"
Dib considered it, then shook his head. "Don't think so," he said. "I mean, we'll head back eventually, but we just want to take a little time to…relax, I suppose. Restock everything, take time to compile the things we saw, maybe visiting a couple of places unique to Earth…" He took a sip of his hot chocolate. "We'll stay for another week or two, at least."
"That's excellent to hear," his dad said. "I do hope we can share at least one family dinner together before you leave."
"I…yeah," Dib said. "…that'd be nice."
They lapsed into silence for a bit. It felt a little awkward, but not overly uncomfortable. Membrane asked a few questions about what he had seen on his adventures, and they settled into a cheerful conversation about the amazing things Dib had seen, Membrane suggesting theories or explanations for some of the more bizarre things (thankfully without overlooking the truth of alien life). Membrane mentioned a few goings-on within the labs, and Dib pitched a couple of ideas for projects he was brainstorming.
Dib had just finished his mug off when the front door opened. They both flinched and turned around, both relaxing as soon as they saw it was Gaz. "Hey, your boyfriend was freaking out," she told Dib, moving to the fridge and grabbing a soda.
"It'll be fine, I'll head back soon," Dib said. "…as long as your girlfriends haven't done anything to him in the meantime."
Membrane's eyebrows shot straight up, and he turned to face Gaz. "Girlfriends? Plural?"
Gaz sighed, scowling at Dib. "Thanks so much for that, Dib."
Oops. "Well…I didn't know that he didn't know!" Dib said to defend himself.
Her scowl deepened, her grip tightening on her soda. Dib was quick to stand up, backing away to the door. "Anyway! I should probably go check on Zim. Thanks for the talk and the drink, Dad!"
"Yes, no problem, anytime," Membrane said quickly, attention still on Gaz. "Sweetheart, why didn't you tell me you were dating anyone?"
Gaz's lips pursed, and Dib ducked out just as she glared daggers in his direction. He'd already made his thoughts on Tak and Tenn pretty clear—either Dad would be on his side and convince Gaz on his own, or he'd be indecisive and try to talk them out of an argument, something Dib wasn't in the mood for. Or he'd somehow be okay with her dating evil Irkens…not that he could see that, but still.
Besides. He didn't want to leave Zim alone and outnumbered, even if he was in his own base. Dib trekked back home, his mood much lighter than his original trek away.
When he got back, Tenn and Tak were still camped out on the couch, watching something on TV. Dib glared at them suspiciously, and Tak glared right back.
"Where's Zim?" he asked.
"Probably wherever you left him," Tak responded. Tenn seemed more interested in the show than their conversation, though her antennae were twitching a little in response.
Dib narrowed his eyes, making a 'watching you' gesture as he walked into the kitchen, stepping into the refrigerator elevator. From there, he asked the Computer to point him in Zim's direction…and they thankfully obliged.
He followed the lights blinking along the wall until he came to the armory he'd last left Zim in. When he entered, Zim was turned away, talking to Skoodge, slumped in the chair across from him. Skoodge immediately noticed Dib, antennae perking up in curiosity.
Zim noticed and whirled around, lighting up as soon as he laid eyes on him. "MY DIB!"
He jumped up and ran over, practically tackling Dib as he latched onto him. Dib stumbled on his feet, but laughed and wrapped his arms around Zim, holding him close. "Were you worried?"
"Zim worries about nothing," Zim scoffed…though with his face buried in Dib's chest. "You liar."
Dib laughed again, kissing the top of his head. Zim pressed further into him…and Dib remembered they had an audience. He quickly glanced up and found Skoodge just…watching them. Dib rose an eyebrow. "What?"
"I've just never seen Zim like this," Skoodge said with a shrug. Zim peeled away from Dib just enough to give the other Irken a look. "Not that 'this' is a bad thing!"
"That's right," Zim huffed, turning and burrowing into Dib again. Dib sighed, taking one of the available chairs and making himself comfortable, rubbing circles on Zim's back.
"…I wasn't going to leave, I swear," he whispered to Zim. "Not forever. I just needed some time was all."
The tension slowly left Zim's body with his words and touch, and he slowly lifted his head to look at him. "…good. I wouldn't have let you go."
"Yeah, you're never getting rid of me." Dib kissed his forehead, and Zim beamed.
"But," Dib said, making Zim look worried. "I'm also not going to let what Tak brought up go. You know that, right?" Zim fidgeted and looked away. "Or did you think I would forget?"
"Zim…may have…hoped one big revelation was enough for you today," Zim muttered, kneading nervously at Dib's back.
Dib sighed, plopping into a vacated chair, while Zim curled up against his chest. "Maybe we don't have to talk about it right now," he said begrudgingly. "But if you won't talk about it…apparently, there's three other Irkens who know the details."
Zim looked shocked, and he whipped around to point at Skoodge. "You will tell my Dib nothing I haven't approved!"
Skoodge nodded obligingly. "Two others Irkens I can get details from," Dib amended. "And maybe even Lard Nar."
Zim growled, pressing himself against Dib and gripping him so tightly his claws were starting to puncture Dib's skin. Dib winced, pulling his claws out and sandwiching Zim's hands between his own.
"Okay, we won't talk about it today, alright?" he said. "But you know that if I don't find answers from you, I'll keep poking around until I learn what I want to know."
"Yes…" Zim huffed. "It's a less attractive quality when it's me you're scrutinizing so thoroughly."
"I thought you loved it when I paid you all my attention," Dib cooed.
Zim blushed, lowering his head until his face was partially obscured. "Well…not when it's…this part of my past," he grumbled. "…though I'm not saying any of it is true, at all! That Tak-beast is a liar, you know this."
"Mhmm," Dib said, not that convinced.
"And Tenn, well...I hadn't even met her really until Meekrob! So could you really trust anything she would have to say about me?"
"Hmm."
"And…well…"
Dib cut him off by wrapping his arms around him, burying Zim's face in his chest. Zim tensed up briefly, but relaxed less than a second later, sinking into Dib.
"I'll drop it for today," he said. "But we're still talking about it eventually."
Zim growled quietly, antennae flicking back in irritation. Dib rubbed circles on his back, and eventually, Zim raised his head just enough to look him in the eyes. "…can you give me time?" he said. "To…think…of what to say?"
"Yeah," Dib said. "As long as you aren't hoping I forget about it."
"Drat," Zim chuckled. Dib cracked a small smile, leaning forward to kiss the flat part of his face where his nose would be.
And then his stomach growled, disrupting the quiet moment and making both of them laugh. "I suppose it is time for dinner," Zim said, groaning and slowly extracting himself from Dib's hold. "Any preferences on what we'll have?"
"Not really…pasta, maybe?" Dib said with a shrug. "Or something with honey." He'd had a supply of honey from Earth in the ship, and tried a few types of space honey, but it would be nice to enjoy his favorite form of honey without worrying about rationing it.
Zim smiled. "Spaghetti and honey cornbread should be easy enough," he said. "Might take a while, though."
"I can wait," Dib said. "Need any help making it?"
"Pfft. This shall be easy." Zim kissed him on the cheek and hopped out of his lap. "I'll call you if I need anything, though." With that, he turned and headed to the elevator that would lead him into the kitchen, Dib leaning back in his chair and smiling.
It took him a minute to remember that he wasn't alone, and he turned to face Skoodge…who was still just sitting there, giving him a scrutinizing look. "Zim seems…different," he commented.
"Yeah, he's…he's changed. Less evil and everything," Dib said. "…you've known him for a while?"
"Mhmm. And…he changed because of you." Skoodge squinted one antenna. "Last I saw you, you were that kid who wanted to expose Zim to your species and dissect him."
"Wait. You know about me?"
"I lived with Zim for a bit, helped him with a few plans," Skoodge said with a shrug. "You were one of the things he'd rant most about if he started complaining about anything."
"Huh." Somehow, Dib wasn't surprised. It was…flattering, almost? "Well, this whole…thing between me and Zim started with a plot of his to try and destroy me. It backfired, and one thing led to another, and…here we are."
"That's pretty much what Zim said…minus any admission of it backfiring."
Dib chuckled fondly. "Of course."
Skoodge looked him up and down…and he must have seen whatever he was looking for, because he nodded and stood up. "I'm going to see how Zim's doing with cooking."
"He's actually really good," Dib said.
"Well, that makes sense," Skoodge said. "But last I knew, it made him upset because…" He paused, pursing his lips. "I'm pretty sure that's a thing I'm not allowed to tell you."
"Hey, what?" Dib said. "Come on, if Zim's doing something that upsets him, then I—"
Skoodge shook his head. "If he didn't want to do it, he wouldn't have offered, I can tell you that much. I just…need to see for myself." He stood up and headed to the elevator. Dib, now both curious and a bit concerned, followed behind him.
They emerged in the living room, Skoodge heading into the kitchen to talk to Zim. Dib would have followed…except his gaze landed on Tenn and Tak, still lounging on the couch. He glared. "Don't you have some other lair to hole up in?"
"No, we don't, genius," Tak huffed. "…don't worry. Even if Tenn convinced the base to let us stay, the Moose won't let us touch anything downstairs."
Dib perked up and looked over his shoulder. Minimoose was floating in the corner, staring at the two Irkens with a stare that was somehow both blank and menacing. He grinned, patting their head. At least someone else here was taking this very seriously.
On that note…he glared up at the ceiling. "You're just letting them stay here?"
"Invader Tenn is, shockingly, an Invader and not on the blacklist," the Computer said dryly. " I can place restrictions, but I can't kick her out."
"What about Tak?"
Tak growled at him, and the Computer answered, "Vouched for by Invader Tenn. And also not on the blacklist."
Dib sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "And…why are their ships in the hangar, then?"
"They were particularly insistent they be moved there, to keep them out of human eyes. And one of my purposes is to keep Invaders and all Irkens from being noticed by the native species, so…"
Dib sighed again, turning to give another look at the two aliens. "How long are you planning on staying?" he asked dryly.
"On the planet, or in this base?" Tenn asked.
"On—you know what, both. Both!"
"Indefinitely on Earth," Tak said calmly. "In the base until we can find a better option."
"…or until we find a way to blacklist you both," Dib said with a smirk, crossing his arms.
Tak gave him a look, grinning smugly. "How do you think Gaz will react, hearing about that?"
Dib flinched a little, glaring at them. He slowly moved to the kitchen, making an 'I'm watching you' gesture towards the two of them. Only Tenn appeared to be fazed…or even notice. With a frown, and one last look, Dib stepped into the kitchen.
Zim was wearing a purple apron with pink frills, mixing a bowl of batter. Skoodge had apparently been roped into this, chopping cloves of garlic into fine pieces. Even GIR was helping, staring at the two pots on the stove.
"Everything going well?" Dib asked.
Zim looked up and beamed at him. "It's going perfectly, of course!" he said smugly. GIR whistled at him, and Zim slid over to stir one of the pots…looked like there was tomato sauce in it. "Anything I can do for my, Dib-partner?"
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Dib asked as Zim slid back over to the mixing bowl, drizzling in some honey before continuing to stir.
"My kitchen, my rules," Zim said. "And one of my rules right now is for you to relax! Especially after, well…everything that happened today."
Dib couldn't really argue with that, rubbing the back of his head. Still… "Isn't it our kitchen?"
"Normally, yes, but now it is Zim's alone, if that's what it takes for you to listen and rest!" Zim countered.
That made Dib chuckle as he took a seat. "Alright, alright." He glanced briefly at the doorway to the living room, but getting a glance of Minimoose still there helped him relax, and he turned back to face Zim. He smiled fondly as Zim hummed to himself, flitting back and forth between different things.
Zim poured the batter into a pan and set it in the oven, starting one of the closest timers. After that, he focused just on the sauce, tossing in the garlic Skoodge had chopped up and stirring it all in. GIR started making beeping sounds with his mouth when the water started to boil, and Zim dumped the noodles in, ordering Skoodge to keep an eye on (and occasionally stir) them.
It was what Dib would all a carefully choreographed dance…except for when they bumped into each other every so often. But Skoodge gave way to Zim whenever that happened, so everything still went smoothly. GIR got bored and wandered over to sit on Dib's lap. "You got any games?" he asked.
"Yeah, sure," Dib said, patting himself down and pulling his phone out of his pocket.
GIR swiped through options before opening some default matching game pre-installed on Dib's phone. Dib watched, up until several timers started going off. He looked up to see Zim dashing all over the place, him and Skoodge bumping into each other much more as they pulled bread out of the oven, drained the pasta water, and pulled the sauce off the stove.
It didn't take long for them to do all that, though, and once everything was laid out, Zim scooped noodles onto a plate, ladling plenty of sauce over it, carrying the plate over to Dib.
"Thanks," Dib said, pecking him on the cheek.
Zim smiled…and GIR dropped Dib's phone and leaned forward, reaching out for the pasta with bare hands. Zim managed to hold it out of reach before he could grab it, to which GIR let out a high-pitched whine.
Dib winced, covering his ears with his hands. "Can you make him his own plate!?" he said, raising his voice to be heard over GIR.
Zim quickly nodded, dropping the plate on the table in front of Dib and going to the counter to fix a second plate. He just as quickly rushed back to them, placing the new plate in GIR's hands. The little robot immediately went quiet, gasping and shoving his whole face into the noodles.
Dib chuckled, carefully picking up the robot and setting him down on the floor with his dinner. He dug into his own meal, humming in appreciation and quickly shoveling more into his mouth, giving Zim a thumbs-up. Zim beamed with pride, standing a little taller, and Skoodge smiled fondly at Zim.
At least one of the new Irkens seemed…well, Dib wasn't sure how trustworthy he was, yet. But at least he didn't hate Zim, and wasn't getting too close with his sister.
Once dinner was finished—Zim had some honey cornbread, and Skoodge tried it and the pasta, while Dib got an extra-large slice of the cornbread—Dib stood in the doorway, keeping an eye on the Irkens in there, still resting on the couch. Skoodge walked past him once he'd finished cleaning the dishes.
"We pretty much just stay in here," he said with a shrug. "When we're not outside the base, anyway."
"Zim can give you one of the spare rooms in the lab to use," Zim offered. "For you only. Not the other two."
Tak overheard and shot the group of them a look. Skoodge ignored it, smiling at Zim. "I might take you up on that later." Still, for now he headed to the couch, sitting next to the armrest.
Zim took Dib's elbow, giving it a tug. "Skoodge and Minimoose will keep an eye on them."
"Well…okay…" Dib said, still not taking his eyes off them.
"Diiib," Zim said, tugging him harder. "Spend time with your Zim. I demand it."
That finally got Dib to turn his gaze away, instead looking at his partner. Zim wrapped his arms around Dib's waist, giving him a pleading look. Dib's heart melted, and he sighed, rubbing the top of Zim's head.
"Fine," he said, letting him lead him to the elevator. "Besides, the Computer will tell us if they try anything evil, or suspicious, or if Gaz comes back, right?"
"I guess," the Computer said with a sigh. That, and knowing they were still being watched, calmed most of Dib's worries, if not all of them.
Zim helped by distracting him, using his PAK legs to raise himself to Dib's height and kiss him on the lips. Dib returned the gesture, and after Zim pushed him into showering and changing into some heated pajamas, they both crawled into Dib's nest of blankets and pillows, tangling up in each other's limbs.
Dib sighed, managing to relax as Zim stroked his hair. Even if things had changed while he was gone, it felt good to be back home.