Now:
Uther stewed in his prison cell, contenting himself with the handful of credit coupons he'd stolen from Sigwinne and that louse Deakin who introduced him to the Fortress. Half a year ago, his former business partner Chiori—gods, just thinking about the name made him angry—and that stupid traveler got him locked up. And for what? Plenty of people did what he did. Fast fashion wasn't criminal in and of itself.
Well, he'd bide his time. He'd get back on the people who wronged him. His brooding was interrupted by the alarm sirens. He tucked his pilfered coupons in the little box he kept under the bunk and staggered outside to the walkway.
His jaw dropped. Far down below, at the ground level, a dozen outsider women stalked into the Fortress. They brandished swords, bows, great swords, and polearms. They came from every corner of Teyvat. Leading them, were three of the most dangerous-looking people he'd ever seen: tall, elegant women with polearms. One wore the Adeptal robes of Liyue and had pale, menacing eyes. The other wore a violet kimono and radiated power with every step. The third was none other than the Knave.
Three guards went to intercept them. In a blink, all three fell to their knees in an unconscious heap.
The Knave addressed the Duke's office. "Wriothsley. Come out at once."
He stepped out with a look of cool, detachment and walked right up to the group. Smiling as though they were sharing a pleasant conversation about the weather, he asked, "To what do I owe this unexpected visit?"
Inmates hung back, wondering how this would play out.
"One of your inmates has been, let's say inconveniencing, the traveler," she replied. "We heard it from the traveler himself."
If Wriothsley was surprised or scared for his life, he hid it well.
"I see," he said. "Well, if you give me his name, I'll be sure to properly punish him."
"You had your chance," she hissed. "This torment has been going on for three weeks now. That's three weeks too long. You've been negligent in your duties, Duke. Now, it falls to us to dispense justice."
"That's quite the claim. Just who may I ask is this person who's so harmed the traveler that you'd invade the Fortress?"
"His name," she said, "is Uther."
From the upper levels, Uther froze. His bowels dropped. In his sheer terror, he scarcely noticed the wet brown sludge slipping down his thighs across the floor.
What are they talking about?! His mind wandered in a frenzied panic. I haven't done anything to the traveler yet! They can't punish me for something I haven't done! He tried to speak but had no voice. Chest heaving, legs buckling, his heart let out a hammered erratic beat.
Down below, the women scanned the fortress for their target. Wriothsley made no move to stop them. Not that he could if he wanted to—nobody could bully around the Knave. Uther was on his own. He had to escape.
He took a step back when disaster struck. His foot slipped on his own crap and he fell on his butt with a loud crash. Every single eye turned on him. Down below, the Knave's red X eyes homed in on him. A humorless smile crossed her lips.
"Found you~"
Uther scrambled to his feet. He ran. Craning his head back over his shoulder, he chanced a look back and saw the Knave hadn't moved. Someone else had. The violet kimono lady was no longer down there, so she must've gone to the elevator. He probably had a thirty-second head start.
Uther swung his head forward and found a polearm at his throat. The kimono lady was here. His hands flew up in surrender. He begged for his life, and promised he'd do anything, but his words fell on deaf ears. The kimono lady glowered down on him with absolute contempt. Merciless, she regarded him much like a hurricane might show to a flea—a parasite far below her.
"Uther," she said, "you will stand trial for your crimes against Aether. Then, this Fortress will seem like a mercy compared to our justice."
At that moment, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fainted. Before his thoughts faded, he cried over the injustice of it all. He'd yet to get his revenge on those who wronged him. Now, he'd die. Why? He thought. What did I do to deserve this? I mean, what specifically?!
Yesterday:
Keqing gathered the UHA for an impromptu meeting. At the podium, she addressed them all.
"Has anyone heard of somebody named 'Uther?'"
Chiori frowned. "Uther? I know that name. Aether and I put him away a while ago. To my knowledge, he's still in the Fortress. Why?"
"Apparently, this person has been giving Aether trouble," she explained. "At least, that's what I've heard. But if they're in the Fortress, I don't see how they can bother him."
"Being in the Fortress doesn't mean they can't have guys on the outside doing their work. Believe me, I know," said Charlotte wearily. "What's he doing exactly?"
Keqing opened a file. "According to Shinobu, he's 'giving Aether pain.' Though, I can't verify that."
"I can," said Emilie. "As I recall…"
Two Days Ago:
Emilie had been testing out perfumes in the Teapot, mixing concoctions by the bench, when the pale zombie child walked aimlessly past her. She gazed vapidly at nothing, mouth slightly askew.
"Good morning, Qiqi," said Emilie.
Qiqi paused, stopping to study the greeter. "Oh, hello booby lady."
Emilie smiled indulgently. Little Qiqi changed course and walked up to Emilie, taking a seat beside her without asking permission. It didn't bother Emilie. Qiqi was too cute.
Emilie continued her work watched by Qiqi.
Five minutes passed before Qiqi took out her journal and flipped through the pages. She came to her most recent page.
"Um… Miss Em-Lilly… Baizhu needs some stuff… He wrote it down for Qiqi."
Qiqi showed Emilie a list of ingredients. Emilie paused her work and got the "stuff" for her.
"So," said Emilie, "what's this for?"
"Um…" she opened her journal. "'Medicine for Aether…Help deal with…pain caused by Uther.'"
Qiqi waddled off, leaving Emilie rather perplexed. Well, she supposed it wasn't any of her business. But the name Uther sounded familiar. Wasn't that Chiori's old fashion partner?
Yesterday:
The women listened to Emilie's account. When the perfumiest finished, there came hushed conversations amongst the women. Lynette recalled Uther's unsanitary clothing production. Kirara retold how he once sent thugs after her, and Navia recollected how he nearly drove Chiori out of business.
So, now he decided to torture Aether? This would not stand.
"Hold on," said Emilie. "Who told you that Uther is bothering Aether? Did Aether say it?"
"No," said Keqing. "He doesn't usually admit when he's in pain. Shinobu heard it."
"Who told her?"
"General Kujo Sara," Shinobu replied.
It sounded legitimate. Kujo Sara wasn't a person to exaggerate. Uther had beyond a doubt, decided to attack Aether. Every woman came to the same conclusion: Uther must pay.
Three Days Ago
Kujo Sara had been going through the Tenryou Commission Reports when someone knocked on her office door. She automatically got a headache, which meant the person on the other side was either Itto, the tax collector, Barbatos' Witness, or Heizou.
"Come in," she sighed.
This time, detective Heizou strolled inside. Her headache flared up.
"Hullo, Sara," he said with a grin.
"No, Heizou, you can't have any more vacation time," she said while signing off on paperwork. "And if you allude to me and Itto being an item, I'll permanently dock your pay."
"Alas, that's not what I'm here to ask. Have you seen Aether?"
"No, why?"
"Oh, it's nothing much. Someone thinks he's having a problem with a fella named 'Uther.' Whoever that is, he's giving Aether pain. Do you know anything?"
"No. But it sounds serious. Who did you hear this from?"
"That guy I'm not supposed to mention unless I want my pay docked."
Itto.
Heizou laid Itto's testimony on the table.
I was in the Serenitea Pot, hanging out with the strongest knight in Mondstadt. When I asked why she was sad, she said that Aether told her Mr. Uther's hurting him. He can't enjoy ice cream anymore! Well, I can't let that stand! So watch out Mr. Uther—the one and Oni Itto is coming for you!
Sara considered the source of information. Itto was a troublemaker, but he cared for his friends. No way would Itto joke about Aether being in trouble. Not to mention, his information came from Mondstadt's strongest knight: Acting Grandmaster Jean. Her honor was unquestionable.
"Keep investigating," said Sara. "In the meantime, I'll pass this on to Shinobu."
Now:
Jean entered the mansion and found it completely empty. Odd. She checked the clock. Sure enough, this was the time that the girls were set to meet. So, where were they?
She explored the Realm Within and eventually ran into General Sara. The Tengu Warrior acknowledged her solemnly.
"Where is everyone?" asked Jean.
"They're off to hunt down Uther. The man you said was bothering Aether."
Jean frowned.
"What are you talking about?"
Sara's smile wavered, flickering into confusion. The general told her about a testimony she collected from Itto which claimed Mondstadt's strongest knight spoke with him about an insidious Uther who bothered Aether.
"I've never had such a conversation with Itto," said Jean.
"But, it says right here you did."
Jean shook her head. "There's a problem: I'm not the strongest in Mondstadt."
"So, who is?"
Four Days Ago
Klee was super happy. Aether took her out for a treat because she'd been a good girl and blew up the bad guys in the Spiral Abyss. But Aether wasn't eating anything.
"Mr. Honorary Knight? Aren't you getting ice cream?"
He smiled. "I'm having a hard time eating. Ulcer."
Klee tipped her head curiously. Before he could explain, the vendor cleared his throat. "Excuse me, you gonna pay or what?"
"Right. Why don't you go and play, Klee? I'll see you later."
Off went the Spark Knight, enjoying her ice cream.
Klee went off to the Serenitea Pot to play
While playing out back, she ran into Itto and Qiqi who played with her for a bit.
"Hey, Klee? Why the long face?"
So, she told him about Mr. Uther.
Now:
The Jade Chamber floated over to Dragonspire, stopping right at the highest peak. Out swung a crane, suspending a helpless, shivering, bound-up Uther. He hung high over the peaks of Dragonspine, utterly terrified. The only thing stopping him from plummeting to premature death was a thread and the whims of some very scary ladies.
"P-please," he whimpered, "don't hurt me!"
The Knave ignited a ball of black flames in her palm. Taking long, measured steps, she went right up to him. She brought the flame inches from his face. The horrible heat made him gag and wretch.
"Leave Aether alone."
"I will," he promised. "Please, I'll do anything you want just let me go!"
There was no mercy in those eyes. She crossed over to the lever which would release the cable and send him plummeting to become a stain on the mountainside. He begged and pleaded with all his might as her hand tightened around the lever.
"Pardon me, but there's been a misunderstanding," said a sweet voice. They all turned to the speaker. A blue-faced finch floated out to the walkway. All at once, the women became deferential.
"Tubby," said Shenhe. "What do you mean?"
This Tubby explained the whole issue. Aether had an ulcer in his mouth causing him pain. He told Klee but she misunderstood. So, she told Itto that Mr. Uther had been causing him pain which set about this whole confusion. The girls stood there, awkwardly.
"Then, I suppose," said Ei, "we should let Uther go."
"Darn right you should!" he snapped. "And you're going to apologize for this whole mess! I'm going to sue you people for every Mora if it's the last thing I do! You hear me?!"
Tubby looked at him distastefully. "Sir, please calm down. Let's let bygones be bygones."
"Bygones?! These maniacs nearly killed me! I'll see you all in the Fortress if it's the last thing I do! You won't sweet talk your way out of this!"
Tubby sighed. "I'm sorry you feel that way. Oh, by the way, girls, Wriothsley searched Uther's Cell and found Credit Coupons. He stole quite a bit from Miss Sigwinne. He planned to buy some assassins to get his revenge on Aether."
Their murderous intent flipped back on. Baleful eyes turned on him. Thunder rumbled across Teyvat. Electricity pulsed from Ei and Yae Miko's fingertips. Shenhe emitted a cold frosty aura of death and Clorinde gave Uther a look that aged him fifty years.
Tubby continued, "Wriothsley says you can take your time bringing him back."
The women grinned. Now, they had a sweet cause.
Before he could get a word out, Arlecchino pulled the lever and dropped him.
Reformation by Charlotte
Uther, a name synonymous with the dark side of fast fashion, has turned his life around overnight. As the Fortress of Meropide's newest denizen, he has been quietly working on the assembly line every single day. His productivity astounded his overseers, who remarked that when he first arrived, he had refused to do any work. Now, he can't get enough work.
When asked for the reason behind this change, he said, "I thought I was trapped in here with criminals. Now I see the real criminals are out there. The Duke said that if I don't shape up, I can't stay in the Fortress under his protection. He'll turn me over to them. This place is the only thing keeping me safe from the real demons."
He has been diagnosed with severe fennecaphobia, pyrophobia, gynophobia, cryophobia, ailurophobia, aquaphobia, acrophobia, sphenisciphobia, electrophobia, agoraphobia, nyctophobia, and lepidopterophobia. His fear of foxes, cats, nuns, the outdoors, and butterflies makes him want to stay in the Fortress forever. For everyone harmed by his toxic fashion, this is an absolute win.
In other News
Aether got an ulcer in his mouth. Screw ulcers. They suck.