Chapter 30

The cool evening air brushed against Jaina's face as she made her way through the streets of Nabat. Despite the late hour, the city was still buzzing with activity as clone troopers and local Twi'leks alike worked to find companions, restore order, and provide aid.

She carefully weaved through the small groups of people, her small stature allowing her to move quickly and easily. As she approached the freshly deployed GAR barracks, she could feel Ahsoka's presence in the Force—a mixture of exhaustion, sadness, and a hint of frustration.

The Padawan paused outside the door at the end of the hallway, taking a deep breath to center herself before knocking. "It's me, A…Can I come in?"

A moment of silence followed Jaina's soft knock, then the sound of shuffling footsteps could be heard, before the door creaked open.

Ahsoka appeared in the doorway, her usually bright eyes seemingly exhausted. Upon seeing Jaina, her features softened, a forced smile touching her lips. "Hey."

"Hey," Jaina returned quietly. She took in the sight of her dear friend, noting the weariness in her stance. Ahsoka had always been so lively and full of determination—of equal parts fire, passion, and mischief—yet in this moment, her blue eyes remained fixed on the floor.

Without saying another word, Jaina stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her in a warm, tight embrace.

Ahsoka sagged into the hug immediately, resting her head against her friend's shoulder. Her arms encircled Jaina's waist in a fierce grip. She drew in a shaky breath, and for a few moments, all that could be heard was the soft sound of their breathing.

Jaina gently stroked the side of Ahsoka's montrals, offering a silent gesture of comfort. She knew that talking or asking questions was not what she needed right now. What she needed was support. A safe space to gather herself.

Ahsoka pulled out of the embrace after a few moments, giving Jaina a small but grateful smile. There was a depth to her eyes that hadn't been there before, a mix of distress and a lingering sense of despair. She sighed softly. "…I lost a lot of good men up there today, J."

Jaina stepped inside the small cabin, making sure to close the door quietly behind her. "It wasn't your fault, Ahsoka."

Ahsoka's expression darkened, a hint of frustration coloring her voice. "Jaina, you don't understand. I disobeyed Anakin and Yularen's orders to retreat during the first wave. It was my first command, and now Axe and Matchstick and the rest of Blue Squadron are—are—"

She cut herself off, sinking onto the edge of her bunk and running a trembling hand over her forehead. "I got cocky. Or maybe it was the adrenaline. Or maybe I was so caught up, I just wanted the chance to prove myself. At this point, I can't even tell what it was anymore. All I know is, I was so sure I could break through the blockade and take the Seppie cruisers head-on. I let my feelings cloud my judgement, and people—good men—lost their lives for it."

"And yet you were able to break through the blockade afterwards anyway," Jaina said firmly. "I only skimmed through the report, but you saved everyone else out there. Look at the big picture—this entire ground assault was made possible because of you, Anakin, and all your men, Ahsoka."

Ahsoka looked up, her eyes filled with a mix of pain and determination. "I know, I know," she said quietly, her voice steady despite the raw emotion swirling within her. "But it doesn't change the fact that my actions directly led to the deaths of two entire squadrons."

She sighed. "It worked out, I know. I just…a part of me still feels…"

"…responsible." Jaina sat down beside her, gently resting her head on her shoulder. "Because you led those attacks," she said softly. "You gave the orders…But you need to remember, you also made the calls needed that got everyone else through. Safely."

Ahsoka closed her eyes, swallowing hard. "I know that, in my head…but in my heart? It just doesn't feel right." She brought a frustrated hand back to her forehead, rubbing at her temple. "You wouldn't understand, you've never been in a situation like this."

"…You're right, I haven't," Jaina admitted softly. She attempted a weak smile, gently nudging her good friend. "I feel nothing but terror and contempt at the very prospect of being trapped inside one of those flying death buckets."

Ahsoka snorted quietly at her jest, but the familiar humor in Jaina's voice seemed to lessen the weight on her heart—if only for a moment. "You and your strong aversion to starfighters," she muttered, her voice holding a hint of amusement. "Let's not blame the ships, it's not their fault you've never been able to pilot one successfully."

Jaina rolled her eyes, suppressing a smile. "Hey, I like starfighters, I'm not blaming them," she countered. "I think they're an ingenious feat of engineering and aerodynamics. I'm just not as fond of the millions of uncontrollable variables out there."

"And there's the control freak we all love and hate," Ahsoka deadpanned, a smirk slowly forming on her lips. "If you start spewing asteroid field collision statistics like a droid, I'm going to whack you on the face with my pillow, I swear to the Force."

"I don't 'spew' stats," Jaina protested, shoving at her friend playfully. "I only pull them out when—"

Ahsoka's smirk widened, her eyes dancing with mischief as she reached for the pillow and mercilessly smacked away.

"Hey! No! Stop, you—OW!" Jaina attempted to block the next couple of blows, her own laughter mingling with mock outrage. "You are so uncivilized! Unbelievable!"

"You started it!" Ahsoka retorted, a grin on her lips as she continued to whack her friend relentlessly with the pillow. "Talking about collisions and statistics when I'm trying to have a moment here! You're supposed to be comforting me!"

"Humor can be a very effective form of comfort!" Jaina retorted. "Laughter alters the levels of neurotransmitters in the body and releases dopamine and—"

"NOPE! Stop right there!" Ahsoka interjected, laughing and pressing the pillow to Jaina's face to cut off her friend's words. "Save the boring science and statistics talk for Master Kenobi!"

There was a brief tussle as Jaina attempted to pry the pillow away—and failed—both girls laughter filling the small room.

Finally, they collapsed onto the mattress, breathless and giggling.

After a few moments, the laughter subsided, and their breaths slowed. The two Padawans laid side by side in companionable silence for several minutes, as the events of the day slowly caught up. The quiet of the barracks served as a welcomed reprieve from the activity outside, as exhaustion settled back into their limbs.

The silence stretched on, broken only by the distant sounds of troopers and droids outside.

Jaina eventually turned her head to look at her friend, seeing the weight of responsibility still etched on Ahsoka's face. "…you did the best you could," she eventually murmured quietly. "You know that, right?"

The Togruta Padawan didn't respond, her gaze still fixed on the ceiling above them. Jaina could see the muscles in her friend's jaw tensing as she processed the words.

The silence stretched on for a few more moments before Jaina continued, her voice barely above a whisper as she turned back to the ceiling. "I just came from the makeshift med hub, it was…well, it was full—is one way of putting it, I suppose," she murmured. "Majority of them families, women and children. If this invasion had been delayed any longer…I don't even want to think about what that hub would've looked like."

Ahsoka sighed deeply, her blue eyes clouded with a mix of emotions. "I know, J, I know. It's just…it's hard. I keep replaying those moments in my head, wondering if I could have done something differently. If I could've saved those pilots." She paused, her gaze distant.

Jaina pondered her words, her eyes trailing over the small cracks on the durasteel above. "Master Obi-Wan always says—we can only do our best with the information we have at the time," she murmured thoughtfully. "The rest…we have to leave to the Force. I guess at the end of the day, all we can do is learn from each experience, each mistake that we make."

Ahsoka's blue eyes softened. "You know, your words remind me of Master Skywalker," she said quietly. "Even after everything that happened during the first wave, Skyguy didn't…Master Anakin didn't give up on me. Even when I thought I had failed him completely…he still believed in me."

Jaina listened intently, adjusting her head on the mattress as Ahsoka continued.

"After I disobeyed his orders, I was so sure Anakin would be furious. He was, at first, understandably so." She paused. "But it didn't last very long, and instead…instead, he supported me…" She chuckled weakly. "He even put me in command, again, while he took off on The Defender—because it was too damaged for the second wave. So he used it as a decoy and crashed it right into the Separatist flagship, while Yularen and I took down the other cruisers."

Jaina smiled silently to herself. The plan certainly sounded very Skywalker.

"You know, this whole experience…" Ahsoka continued thoughtfully. "I feel as though it's really changed things between Anakin and me. Even more so than when he got injured on Maridun. I mean, I always knew we were slightly similar, but—"

"—Slightly?"

She playfully swatted her arm, suppressing a snicker. "I'm trying to have a sentimental moment here, stop making fun of my word choice!"

Jaina raised her hands apologetically, tilting her head to offer a sheepish smile.

Smirking, Ahsoka rolled onto her side to face her directly. "As I was trying to say before I was so rudely interrupted," she teased, emphasizing the word with a poke to Jaina's side. "I think this whole experience has strengthened the bond between Anakin and me." She paused. "It made me see how much he gets me. When I messed up, he understood. He knew exactly what I was feeling, because he's been there too."

Her eyes lit up as she continued, her words coming faster now. "It's like he knows what it's like to want to prove yourself so badly that you sometimes make rash decisions. He knows how difficult it is to always follow orders to the letter—when sometimes, I don't know, there's just something in my gut that's saying otherwise. And sometimes my gut is right, sometimes it's wrong. He's been there, J. He gets it. And instead of lecturing me or punishing me, he used it as a chance to help me grow."

Ahsoka let out a soft chuckle, a sense of calm settling over her. "It just…it feels like such a huge relief, y'know? Knowing that, despite his aloof attitude at times, and how much his training sessions absolutely wreck me," she snorted. "I have someone who'll always have my back. I know that I have a Master who gets me, and who can turn my mistakes into lessons—without making me feel small."

Jaina stretched out on the bunk, letting Ahsoka's words sink in. She could feel the warmth and gratitude radiating from her friend through the Force.

She smiled faintly, tucking her arms behind her head as she kept her gaze fixed on the ceiling. "You two really are similar…a bit too similar, sometimes," she teased, softening her words with a fond grin. "But in a good way. And I'm happy for you, Ahsoka. It sounds like this experience, despite everything, has brought you two that much closer."

Ahsoka chuckled softly, rolling onto her side once more. "You're right, we are similar. Sometimes it's scary how much," she admitted, her voice a mix of amusement and fondness. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."

Jaina nodded thoughtfully. "I think…I think that's what makes the most profound Master-Padawan teams. Having someone who can guide you, but who also always understands you, or at least tries his best to. Someone who can help you grow—not just as a Jedi, but as a person." She smiled softly. "And as unbelievably insurmountable as these times may seem…I suppose we're lucky…in a way."

"That's really what being a Jedi is, isn't it?" Ahsoka mused. "At the center of it all. Being there for others, being there for each other. Learning and growing together."

"Connection and trust," Jaina murmured pensively. "Knowing that no matter how tough things get…we're never alone."

She exhaled softly, trailing her eyes over the small cracks on the ceiling. "I think…I think that's what gives me hope, at the end of the day. Even in the darkest moments of this war—knowing that we have each other, that we have our Masters…it makes me believe we can get through anything."

Ahsoka smiled, her eyes drifting closed as she contemplated her friend's words. "…You know what…you're the only person who can say such wise words…with that chubby little baby-face of yours."

Jaina rolled her eyes playfully, reaching for the pillow and smacking her on the face with it. "And you accuse me of ruining moments?!"

Ahsoka let out a muffled laugh as the soft pillow hit her face. She grabbed it and hugged it to her chest, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Don't worry, your puffy cheeks are still adorable when you're trying to be all serious and wise."

Jaina's ears flushed, a mixture of embarrassment and amusement dancing across her features as she crossed her arms and tried to put on her best Kenobi-esque stern expression, which only made Ahsoka giggle more. "You know, for someone who just had this profound moment of growth and understanding with their Master, you sure are quick to tease others about their appearances."

"What can I say? I'm a multi-faceted person," Ahsoka retorted. "I can be profound one minute, and insufferable the next. It's part of my charm."

Jaina couldn't help but laugh at that, shaking her head. "Oh yes, very charming. Definitely."

Their playful banter continued, filling the small cabin with laughter and warmth, a welcome respite from the heaviness of war outside the four walls of the barracks.

As a knock on the door broke through their giggles, Jaina glanced up, frantically checking her wrist chrono. "2245, we lost track of time! The debrief is in fifteen!" she exclaimed, her voice tinged with panic.

Ahsoka, who had still been lounging comfortably on her bunk, groaned softly, rolling her eyes.

As they scrambled to make themselves presentable, another knock sounded at the door, much more insistent this time. "Snips? You in there? Open up, we need to head to the command center!" came Anakin's voice, slightly muffled through the door, followed closely by Obi-Wan's calm tones. "Jaina? Are you with Ahsoka?"

"Oh Force—" Jaina hurriedly smoothed down her hair, trying to tame the curls that had become disheveled during their conversation.

"Coming, Masters!" Ahsoka called out, quickly moving to the door and palming it open to reveal both Anakin and Obi-Wan standing in the hallway.

The two Masters took in the sight of their slightly disheveled Padawans with raised eyebrows. "I see you lost track of time," Obi-Wan observed, his eyes twinkling despite his attempt at a stern expression. "Despite my earlier warning about tardiness."

"You know, Ahsoka, when I told you to take some time to relax, I didn't mean to forget about the debrief entirely," Anakin added, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe. His lips curled into a smirk. "You two look like you've been through a windstorm on Tatooine."

"We were just, uh, holding our own debrief," Jaina explained, offering her Master a sheepish smile. "…before the debrief. A 'pre' debrief! Uh, sort of thing."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching with amusement. "A 'pre-debrief', you say?" He stepped into the room, gently turning Jaina around to assess the state of the mess of curls. "How very efficient of you both."

"We got a bit carried away with our discussion," Ahsoka admitted apologetically.

"Sorry, Masters," Jaina murmured.

Obi-Wan shook his head with a fond smile, his hands already moving to undo the tangled remnants of her earlier braid. "It's alright, little one," he said, swiftly detangling the strands between his fingers. "But perhaps next time, keep an eye on the chrono before you go losing track of time, hmm? No matter how important the conversation is."

"I will, Master," Jaina promised, her ears heating up once more. "Thank you."

The Jedi Master's fingers deftly braided her hair back into its usual tidy style, a comfort routine they'd gone through countless times before. "You're welcome," he murmured, securing the pink ribbon with a gentle pat. "There we go, all sorted."

Anakin, who had been silently observing with a smirk, stepped into the room, gesturing to the door. "Well, if you little Padawans are both done pre-debriefing in here, maybe we should actually head to the real debrief? Before Master Windu bursts a blood vessel."