Public D'oh-main The Simpsons learn about Public Domain, ie things no longer copyrighted. Mickey Mouse is annoyed about this. Then he ends up in hackneyed horror films, well the retro Steamboat version of him does.
Plot
The title gag is Martin Prince and Ricky Rouse in a biplane.
Ricky Rouse chuckled like Mickey. "Oh hohoho boy!"
Martin rolled his eyes.
Disney owns you now! Also Martin is still Minnie Mouse…
Walt also owns Marvel, for some reason… Yeah I'm not seeing Iron Man in The House of the Mouse… it just wouldn't work…
"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Haha!" said Mickey, ahem Ricky.
Martin sighed.
The chalkboard gag is: I don't really live in a Gangster's Paradise.
Oscar bursts into the classroom and sings Gangster's Paradise by Coolio.
Bart winced exasperated at him.
The plague doctor from the SCP Foundation game comes in and dances to Gangster's Paradise.
"Oh yeah… that's a meme now…" said Oscar.
Bart frowns at him.
"Don't let him touch you…" Oscar warned Bart.
The billboards is Brit Simpson advertising sausages and mash or bangers and mash in slang.
Bart winced at the board, freaked out by Limeys.
Oscar drooled feeling hungry.
Bart sighed vexed with him.
The couch gag is a sausage dispenser squeezing out the Simpsons in sausage casings. They grunt as they are filled with sausage meat.
Oscar again is being a creep and being aroused by weird things sweats and blushes and eventually wets himself.
Homer is filled with too much filling and bursts. "D'oh!"
The meat slurry pours out onto the floor. Santa's little helper eats the filling.
The Simpsons as sausages nervously back away from the dog.
Oscar marches about singing the Oscar Meyer wiener song…
Teddy the living teddy bear face palmed.
"And everyone would be in loooooooove with meeeeeeee!" Oscar sang.
…
The lounge. Homer, Oscar and Bart are watching Tv.
A McBain movie is on TV.
McBain is driving a truck while holding a ticking time bomb. The time left is fifteen seconds.
Homer gasps. "He'll never make it!"
McBain is at the edge of a bridge.
A deranged Columbian man snarls while driving a semi-truck at super fast speed.
"Who's that guy?" Oscar asked.
Bart sighed. "The main bad guy…"
"What happened to Mendoza?" Oscar asked.
"He died in the first film…" Bart sighed.
"Well he did come back as a cyborg in the third film but I thought that was far fetched…" said Homer.
"Dad! We're trying to watch this…" Bart groaned.
"Eat your broccoli…" Homer stuffed a floret of broccoli in his face.
"No." Bart knocked the vegetable out of his hand.
Anyway the deranged Columbian is driving a semi-truck.
Its back reads; "Toxico! Columbia's number 1 toxic chemical supplier." Afterwards it reads, "Inquire about our student discounts."
"It's Texaco!" Oscar seethed.
"Shut up! I'm afraid to reference things!" Matt yelled.
Bart hushed him.
McBain sees a boat heading towards the bridge to go under it.
The deranged Columbian seethes. "This time, the bell tolls for you McBain!"
McBain gives a fierce glance in return. "The truck stops here!"
Homer chuckled.
Hugo passing through the lounge face palmed, vexed by the hackneyed, awful puns.
McBain pulls out a bow and arrow like Rambo's bow from First Blood part II and attaches the time bomb to the arrow. The bomb now says 00:05 seconds left. Strangely is stops counting when not on screen or time is being padded out so that McBain has time to get rid of the bomb.
He fires the arrow and bomb into the driver's cabin of the semi-truck through the front window.
The arrow sticks to the front passenger chair next to the Columbian. He sees the bomb with zero seconds remaining till detonation.
"McBaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiin!" He screamed. The truck exploded in a massive fireball.
McBain escaped the blast by jumping off of the bridge. He lands on the deck of the nearby small boat, unharmed.
"That fall should have broken his legs…" Hugo face palmed with frustration.
Bart hushed him.
McBain watched the burning truck tumble into the ocean.
"File that load under… blown…." He says a dumb, hackneyed pun.
"Oh yeah!" Homer cheered.
Hugo rolled his eyes.
Suddenly loads of beautiful ladies are on the boat. They make sweet love to McBain.
"Oooooooh! McBain…"
"Eeeeeeeew…" Oscar groaned.
Hugo grimaced unnerved, the love scene was getting a bit X rated. "Dad… we shouldn't be watching this… especially not Oscar… cover his eyes…"
"Booooooobs…" Oscar rasped.
…
Simpsons house interior, the lounge. The movie has just finished.
"Wow… another classic McBain movie! I wonder how they keep making sequels without them ever getting boring?" said Homer.
"I wonder what's for dinner…" said King Harkinian from Zelda.
Hugo winced seeing the meme character.
"Easy. They hire new writers for each film." said Bart.
"Hmmm… makes sense. I suppose for something to last so long you should hire new writers ever so often." said Homer.
"Please! Just let your show die! It's not even funny anymore!" Stewie Griffin cried.
Homer frowned at him.
Marge entered the room.
"Is that awful, violent movie over now?" Marge sighed.
"What's a matter honey? You used to love these movies!" said Homer.
"Mmmm… honey…" said Teddy.
Bart winced at the cartoon teddy bear creature.
"Yes but with all the violence in real life these days, why would you want to see it on film?!" Marge was disgusted by violence.
"I agree. I'm fed up with all these terrorist attacks…" Oscar seethed.
Bart rolled his eyes.
Homer made a frustrated grunt. "Ugh! I don't know! Maybe because we're watching movies in HD?!"
"So?" Marge asked with her hands on her hips.
"So?! Marge these films are even more violent than the real world! They're fantasy! But with these groovy HD graphics you really feel like you're actually there… even when you're not!" said Homer.
"Well I think twelve McBain movies is enough for today! I want us to spend some quality time outdoors!" said Marge.
Homer scoffed. "Quality time is for weddings and funerals…"
Marge frowned.
"I thought you hated the violent real world…" Bart snarked.
The Red Wildforce Power Ranger was outside stabbing some poor guy with a katana.
Hugo winced.
"And another thing! These movies are far too violent for Oscar! He shouldn't be watching them! In fact neither should Bart!"
Bart rolled his eyes.
…
We cut to the drive where the Simpsons are getting in Marge's orange car.
"Where are we even going?" Homer asked.
"To the mall. Anything to get some fresh air and exercise away from that awful device!" Marge nagged.
The kids buckle up their seatbelts.
"I made fudgey in my diaper…" Oscar whined that he had messed his diaper.
"Eeeeeew!" the kids groaned.
Homer seethed.
Marge sighed.
After they wait while Marge changes Oscar's diaper they were soon on the road.
Homer was driving way too fast. As the speedometer said he was going at about 95 miles or kilometres an hour, whichever is faster.
"Homer! Slow down!" Marge nagged.
Homer scoffed.
Marge glared at him.
"It's okay, it's the flow of traffic…
Homer is weaving in and out of lanes on the freeway without signalling.
A car toots its horn and the driver yells at Homer.
"Homer! You're changing lanes without signalling! That's very dangerous!" Marge yelled.
Homer rolled his eyes.
He's then on the phone to Lenny as holds his cellphone to his ear.
"No I can talk now…" said Homer to Lenny.
"Homer! Don't talk on your phone while driving! It's illegal!" Marge nagged.
Homer sighed.
He then drinks from a coffee while on the phone and steering with his elbows.
Marge seethed.
"Daaaaaad!" Lisa yelled.
"Yeah that's hilarious Lenny… Oh sorry, kids yelling in the back, worried about their short lives. Stupid kids…" Homer sighed.
Homer is being watched by the cops Wiggum and Lou.
"Uh Chief… that guy in the orange car is on his cellphone and drinking a coffee while driving…" Lou sighed.
Chief Wiggum was snoring while fast asleep.
Lou rolled his eyes. "Why do I bother…" he sighed.
Ol' Gil was in the next lane to Homer's left. Homer was so distracted he ran Gil off the road.
"Oh my wife's going into labour! Better hurry!" He put his foot on the accelerator.
"She should go into Conservative!" Oscar yelled. He can hear because the car windows are open and Gil is driving a convertible.
Bart rolled his eyes.
Anyway Homer ran Gil off of the road.
"Oh dear…" Gil cried as he headed towards some barrels of gasoline. They ignited in the crash and exploded, taking him with them.
"Oh! Real life explosion!" Homer cooed seeing the explosion in his rear mirror.
Lisa frowned at him.
…
The mall. They park in the mall parking lot.
"And that's how the digestive system was invented." said Grampa telling a ridiculous cantankerous old man story.
The kids groaned.
"It needed more French cigarette-smoking monkeys…" Oscar sighed.
Bart frowned at him.
"Now remember we're in the E block." said Homer as he locked the car.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Oscar mimicked a disabled kid at his old remedial school.
"Oscar!" Marge told him off.
Oscar pouted.
Lisa frowned at him.
The Simpsons then had to deal with bizarre residents of his imagination. "Ie Shark Dracula."
There was a Dracula shark.
Bart face palmed.
"Oscar please no…" Marge sighed.
Oscar frowned and banished the Dracula shark with a snap of his fingers.
Hugo gawked at him and mouthed "Why?!"
"How about flying pigs, playing croquet, in space…" said Homer turning into Genie.
Bart glared at him.
They head down the stairs into the mall itself. The wide open space was buzzing with people shopping. They were spoilt for choice with many stores to visit.
Then there was a guy merged with a brick wall.
"Oh god! They turned him into brick!" Oscar yelled.
Bart gawked at him.
"Ugh… does he ever shut up…" Hugo groaned.
"Kallae Kistnaeeeee…" Oscar rasped.
Bart frowned at him.
"Oh I wanna watch McBain…" Homer groaned.
"Homer twelve McBain movies in a row is quite enough!" Marge said in a pointed tone.
Homer sighed.
Plot 2
They then decided where to shop. Marge wanted the family to stay together as a group.
Most of the kids walked as a group. Marge carried Maggie, Homer carried Eric.
"Do you have to shoehorn Eric in there…" Bart sighed.
His fan girls demand his presence!
"Welp it's been fun and all but the arcade upstairs is just calling my name." said Bart.
"And yooooooouuuu'll be theeeeeere! You'll be theeeerrrreee!" Oscar sang to the Jackson 5's Just say my name and I'll be there.
Bart rolled his eyes.
"I'll join you in the arcade." Oscar grinned.
Bart sighed vexed with Oscar goofing off.
"Yeah, and the pages of some new Al Gore book are just dying to be read by someone who will listen." Lisa chipped in.
Bart makes a dry retching sound to show his disdain for studying. Lisa rolled her eyes at him.
"ManBearPig!" Oscar rasped.
"Oz no!" Lisa groaned.
"MANBEARPIG!" Oscar shrieked.
The Simpsons groan exasperated.
"Oz stop freaking going on about freaking ManBearPig!" Bart yelled flustered.
Eventually Oscar calmed down.
"I'm gonna check out the gadget store that sells novelty gadgets like plasm globes and Newton's cradles." said Hugo.
Homer snorted like a horse, he hated hearing Hugo speak.
"Then I might go to the food court." said Hugo.
"Then I'll find you in contempt of food court!" Homer seethed.
Hugo winced. "Dad it's not an actual law court…"
Homer seethed.
"Very well, but everyone meet back here in one hour…" said Marge.
"Yes Mom…" said the kids before heading off in other directions.
Then Jay and Silent Bob cameo'ed…
Homer winced.
They were getting frozen yogurt or something ordinary.
…
Marge and Homer walked about the store with just Maggie and Eric for company.
"Ah… it's so peaceful without the kids bickering…" Marge sighed.
Eric, the blue haired youngest of the family spat up down his father's back.
"Eeeeew…" Homer groaned softly holding the blue haired baby boy.
Marge sighed.
"Marge can we go home? I'm bored…" Homer sighed.
"We just got here!" Marge said sternly.
"Yeah but I'm tired… I'm bored… etcetera and so on…" Homer yawned as he replied.
Marge grumbled. "No! Besides the kids have just gone off on their own!"
"They know the way home!" Homer whined.
Marge frowned at him.
Homer sighed and sulked as he wanted to watch TV all day.
"Hey folks. Jay and my partner Silent Bob here. We're just visiting this fan fiction to fill up the swear word quota. Hot damn fuckity fuck! Drug references! Fucking dicks!" Jay yelled.
Marge covered Maggie's ears offended.
"That's what you consider comedy?! Being crass?!" Homer yelled.
After Jay and Silent Bob turned the air blue with expletives and references to fecal matter they left.
Homer sighed wearily as he was bored again.
"Oh look Homer! Silly made up sequel posters to classic movies!" said Marge trying to cheer him up.
"Oh! Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season!" Homer gasped.
Eric gawked at the poster. He felt there didn't need to be a sequel. Well there does… with Robin actually shooting something…
A saleswoman suddenly jumped out at them, holding some Tupperware.
Marge yelped alarmed.
"Hey there honey, wanna know about the latest buzz? Supperware?" The saleswoman asked.
The stall with various Tupperware containers on display had the slogan "Supperware, preserving what your family didn't want to eat but wanted to finish tomorrow since 2001."
"What happened before that?" Homer asked.
"Nine Eleven…" said the saleswoman."
Marge rolled her eyes.
…
The Supperware scene continued…
"Supperware eh?" Marge asked.
"You've never heard of it?" The saleswoman cocked her head aside.
"No she hasn't," said a fan fiction writer.
"Actually I have! My sisters are part of the Supperware pyramid scheme." said Marge referring back to season four or so when Patty and Selma were selling Tupperware containers.
The fan fiction writer seethed.
Oscar was hovering about writing the script. He's about to get a bit of a jump scare in a bit.
Selma stumbles over with a large Tupperware container stuffed over her head.
"This one is big enough to fit your whole head in it!" said Selma with an ugly green smooshed face with the green transparent plastic container stuffed on her head.
Jub Jub the lizard screamed.
"Don't be silly Jub Jub… It's me! Mama!" said Selma.
Marge rolled her eyes.
Oscar when he saw Selma's smooshed face he yelped and quivered. He then grimaced when he suddenly noticed he was peeing in his diaper. "Thank god I'm wearing a diaper…"
"I'm afraid she hasn't…" The fat fanboy seethed.
"I'm afraid of the dark…" Oscar stammered.
"Marge!" Homer gasped. He sounded appalled.
"Pay no attention to that fat nerd! Yes like I've told you and as you can see from my sister's silly predicament, we were part of Supperware." said Marge.
"Ugh! Marge baby… I can't get this nnnnnngh! Stupid thing off of my head!" Selma was stuck with the Tupperware on her head.
Homer chuckled.
The fanboy seethed. Tough, my version of the story makes sense…
"Well then, you should know it's a top band in food preservation," said the saleswoman.
"Yes indeed." said Marge.
"Marge I can't breath…" Selma whined.
Marge face palmed.
"I'm sure your food preservation containers are fascinating, right Homeboy?" Oscar asked. But Homer went off somewhere.
Marge grumbled annoyed that Homer didn't find the same things interesting that she did.
"I guess I would like to hear more…"
…
Homer is walking about the mall alone. Uh he handed Eric to the saleswoman or something…
"I hate quality time with the family…" He grumbled dragging his feet.
"I hate that hedgehog!" Dr Robotnik seethed.
Homer gawked at the fat mad scientist.
"I always end up all by myself anyway…" Homer sighed in a bitter tone.
Oscar was in the background singing All By Myself by Eric Carmen, whom he often confused with Eric Cartman.
Homer seethed flustered.
"He leaves me in a dust cloud!" Robotnik yelled.
"Uh…" Homer grunted baffled.
Homer looked at the prices of clothes in the window of a clothes store.
"Can't even buy anything in this mall anyway… too damn expensive…" Homer muttered.
Also he was currently on strike at work. Why was this not given foreshadowing?! What happened during this time?! What caused it?!
"He makes me tear every hair out of my beautiful head!" Dr Robotnik yelled.
Homer face palmed.
"Sounds like you have a few money problems…" said a shady, creepy guy from the shadows.
Oscar winced. "Is that you Bagul?"
Homer gave him a hard look, flustered by his kooky antics.
The man stepped out of the darkness. He looked like an upper class Edwardian man wearing a fancy suit and lapels. He was twirling his moustache. In his other hand he held a cane.
"Uh… hi…" said Homer.
There is a cardboard kiosk that had been set up. Yes it was constructed out of cardboard.
A radio nearby was playing Fleetwood Mac's Don't Stop thinking about tomorrow.
Homer gawked.
"Uh the turn of the century guy wouldn't know who Fleetwood Mac are…" said Oscar.
Homer hushed him.
"Come closer my friend…" said the shady guy.
"Hey, how do I know Whst you're selling? Your stall's not labelled!"
"Oh I'm not selling anything. I'm offering you information." said the turn of the century guy.
"About what?" Homer asked.
"Why about public domain." said the shady guy.
Homer shrugged.
Oscar sighed. "Public domain is when the copyright of an intellectual property expires, which means anyone can make their own adaptations of it. That's why there's so many adaptations of Snow White…"
"Oh…" said Homer.
"Sir how would you like to be independently wealthy?" The turn of the century guy asked.
"It's my life long dream!" Homer gasped.
"My life long dream is an unlimited supply of butter…" Oscar said with a smirk.
Homer rolled his eyes at him.
…
Meanwhile in the arcade on the second floor. Bart is at an arcade machine.
He is playing 18 Wheels of Fear. A truck game where you run over people and stuff.
"Bart this is really bad taste… especially with all the Aloha Snackbar truck driving maniacs…" Oscar frowned.
Bart sighed and rolled his eyes.
His score on the right crawled higher and higher.
"Cooool!" Bart cooed watching his carnage equal more points.
Oscar glared at him, offended by the premises of the game.
"Wow! Now I finally understand what it's like to be Dad!" Bart cheered.
"Well you'd need to put on a few stone first…" said Oscar.
Bart rolled his eyes.
Eventually he got a game over. He sighed.
However he got the highest score, beating someone called King Larry.
"Cowabunga!" Bart cheered. "Now to enter my name!"
He typed in King Bart.
The score screen read from top to fifth place: King Bart, King Larry, Poo, Ass and finally Thrillho.
Bart cracked his fingers smugly.
Sirens blare out and neon lights lining the walls flash as a cheering crowd celebrates Bart's achievement. Milhouse is among them.
Bart bows to his fans.
"Wow Bart! You've beaten the all time high score! The last one was held by-"
"Me!" said a boy wearing cardboard royal crown on his head. The boy seemed ticked off with Bart for beating his high score.
The kids gasped and mutter.
"You've got some nerve…" the boy seethed. Bart frowned feeling the kid was goading him.
"You've taken my throne, my high score! Just who do you think you are?!" The boy got up in Bart's face.
"I'm King B, the new champ in town…" Bart said smugly. "Who the hell are you?"
"I'm King Larry, of Shelbyville." said King Larry wearing a cardboard crown.
Bart smirked. "Well I'm King Bart, of Springfield."
Larry flipped. "Springfield?!" He grabbed Bart by the front of his shirt and pulled back his fist to throw a punch.
"Do it…" said Darth Sidious.
Suddenly Bart's mother, father and siblings arrive. Larry releases him hastily.
"Come on Bart it's time to go," said Marge.
Homer somehow convinced her to call it a day.
"You can play at this arcade with your new friends some other time…" said Marge.
Bart shrugged and followed his family out the arcade.
King Larry seethed.
"This ain't over Springfield! Not by a long shot!" He yelled. Blah, blah… typical villain dialogue…
Plot 3
The Simpsons drive home, back the way they came. They pass the site of a horrific car crash, ambulances are parked at the scene.
Paramedics carry Ol' Gil in a gurney.
"Woke up... not outside." Gil groaned. He was in a very bad way, ie bleeding out with charred clothes.
"Please sir! Remain calm, you're lucky to even be alive right now!" said a paramedic in a concerned male tone.
"But I gotta…" Gil raised his left arm but barely managed to keep it up with what little strength he had left.
"Please sir! You need urgent medical attention!" said a paramedic.
"But my wife… my child… wife… having… baby…" said Gil.
A paramedic shook his head softly to his coworker.
"Sir you're our highest priority right now! We'll fix you up!"
Gil was put in the back of an ambulance and taken to hospital. He's a comically unlucky character for the sake of humour, he'll be fine next episode.
The Simpsons house at night with the lights on. The family are sat in the well lit dining room eating dinner.
"So, I was at the mall with your mother today," said Homer sculpting his mash potatoes into a circus tent again.
"Yes we know… we were there…" said Bart stirring his greens around the plate and glaring at them.
"Hmmm… whatever… anyway, so your mother rudely abandoned me to look at these Supperware boxes-" Homer sighed.
"Left you?!" Marge yelled. "You wandered off!"
"Well this guy told me about public domain," said Homer.
"Ie stories, songs, media that is no longer copyrighted, so use it if you want…" said Oscar.
"Yeah that's why we have all those Ricky Rouse horror movies now instead of Indie horror films…" Bart sighed.
Lisa looked at the papers Dad took home. "Dad! This is advice for selling shares in leases of public buildings! Like the library! Where did that man you speaking to get this?!"
"Oh! Let's sell the library! Think how much money I'd get for that!" Homer cheered.
"Dad you can't sell the library!" Lisa yelled.
"But it's public property!' Homer whined.
Lisa seethed.
"Homer… this man is clearly a charlatan…" Marge sighed.
Homer sulked.
"Besides lots of people love the library…" Lisa frowned.
Homer scoffed. "Like you maybe…"
"And Hugo…" Lisa added.
"Oh yeah… he's a nerd too…" Homer sighed.
Hugo rolls his eyes with a dry bemused expression.
…
The conversation at dinner continued.
"Homer I don't think this paperwork is legal…" Marge sighed.
"It's more legal than your fly-by-night Supperware spiel…" Homer scoffed.
"He's got you there Mom…" said Bart.
Marge grumbled to herself. "Hrrrrrrrmmmmm…"
"Dad you can't sell buildings you don't own! That's not what public property means!" Lisa yelled.
"But I can put Steamboat Willy era Mickey Mouse in a horror movie with lots of blood in it though?" Homer asked.
"Yes, yes you can legally Dad. But that seems rather mean spirited to the younger, innocent fans of Disney, ie Oscar…" said Lisa.
"We're making a horror movie about Steamboat Willy era Mickey, because legally we can!" said some amateur filmmakers.
"Goddamnit! Gimme infinite copyright!" Bob Iger yelled.
Some lawyers have sheepish shrugs. "We're sorry. These college film class kids can legally do this."
Marge sighed.
"Dad, I really don't think-" Lisa protested.
"Lisa! Go to your room!" Homer yelled pointing to the doorway out of the dining room.
Sudden a brick was thrown through the back window, shattering the glass and spooking everyone. The brick in the same split second smacked Bart round the back of his head.
"Ow man!" Bart whined.
"Crikey!" Oscar screamed alarmed by a brick being hurled through the window.
"Oh my!" Marge gasped.
"Look!" Lisa pointed outside in the yard.
There were shadowy figures on bikes. They chuckled and rode off into the night on their bikes.
"Oh my! Are you okay dear?" Marge checked over Bart.
"It's okay I'm fine…" Bart rubs his sore head.
"The brick has a note!" said Lisa.
Bart picks up the note and reads it.
"What is it?" Hugo asked.
"Maybe our boy has a secret admirer…" Homer chuckled.
Hugo scowled at Dad, in an indignant manner.
"Or the builders at the nearby building site are mad at us again…" Oscar sighed bemused.
The note said: "When you want to attach your name to a world record… when you want your name written down in history… You have to pay the price!"
It was signed King Larry, Shelbyville.
"Looks like you have yet another mortal enemy…" Hugo sighed.
Bart scowled and screwed up the threatening note.
…
Moe's tavern one evening.
Homer is in there stating his sell public property spiel.
"Uh I dunno Homer… you can't sell what doesn't belong to you." said Carl.
Homer scoffed.
"MALKAFOFET!" Sexy, grown up Oscar from that commissioned fan art screeched in indignation while holding a glass of beer.
Homer scowled at him.
"Anyway? Anyone looking for anything specific?" Homer asked sipping his beer.
A Chinese man dressed as a racist caricature of a Chinese rice picker with buck teeth and a cymbal hat shrugged. The chap was called Zhou.
"I could really use an extra alley, something dark, wide and seedy…" said Moe.
"Why?' Lenny asked.
"For my taxi service." said Moe.
"I didn't know you had a taxi service?" Carl asked.
"There's a lot you don't know about me… I generally keep to myself," said Moe.
"Fair enough." Carl took a long slug of beer.
"This taxi business certainly would benefit us," said Homer. "You could drive us home, instead of letting us drive home drunk…."
Moe frowned concerned with Homer. "Homer I don't allow anyone from here to drive home wozzled… I demand you guys hand over your keys and walk home. Not my fault if you choose not to listen…"
Homer snorted and his lips vibrated as he blew air through them in bemusement.
"To lonsufflercher yem?" Oscar babbled, drumming the bar with his fingers.
"Okay clearly I should make that your last drink tonight kid… you're hammered…" Moe sighed.
"I'm not drunk… I have a severe mental illness that causes me to speak gibberish. Also a little of it is jabbering nonsense for a laugh… I find it funny…" Oscar protested he wasn't drunk.
"Yeah sure…" Moe sighed.
"Well guys, I can't thank you enough for coming out tonight to discuss my latest quick rich scheme." said Homer.
Green hat guy did something that incensed Oscar's temper. Probably he was grimacing.
"Ballae nic nuuu dallae!" Oscar screamed.
"Oz no! No gibberish in the bar!" Moe yelled.
Oscar sighed and sipped his beer.
"A taxi service eh? Ever pick up any hot chicks?" Lenny asked chuckling.
Everyone laughs.
"Nah… not really…" Moe sighed while wiping a glass dry with his rag.
Oscar scowled at a rat running along the bar. "Gero kero! Gigigigokoshgoshyuuuuuuu!"
"That's it Oscar! Get the hell outta here!" Moe yelled as he slapped his rag down upon the bar.
Oscar departs reluctantly. "Kallae Kistnaeeeee… sabayoooooo yeah…"
Homer glares at him.
"Nice talking to you Oscar…" Carl sighed sipping his beer.
"Kalahoohoo sabayoooooo!" Oscar replied in a sarcastic tone.
He goes right up to Green Hat Guy, who cowers.
"GERUUUUUU!" Oscar screamed while giving him a middle finger gesture. Then he stormed out of the bar.
Moe shrugged.
…
The next day, in Bart's room. Bart is hanging out with Milhouse.
"So this King Larry has it in for you… for beating his high score…" Milhouse sighed.
"He threw a brick through my dining room windows…" Bart sighed.
Milhouse gasped.
"Mom's still sweeping up the glass…. Oscar cut his tongue trying to eat the shards…" Bart sighed.
Milhouse grimaced baffled with Oscar.
"Bart I'd watch out… these Shelbyville boys are rough… and I mean really rough…" said Milhouse.
"They don't scare me…" Bart scoffed.
Oscar comes in with a bandage tongue.
"Hey dummy…" Bart sighed while reading the threatening note.
Oscar jabbered incoherently because of his bandaged tongue.
Bart chuckled.
He rings King Larry. Somehow he has his number…
However it goes straight to answering message. Larry is unavailable.
"Hi, this is King Larry. If I'm not available then it means I'm out chump-a-cizing a noob… at the game of his or her choosing…" said King Larry.
"Ugh… he said noob…" Milhouse sighed.
Bart hushed Milhouse.
"So leave a challenge at the end of the beep, if you feel like losing! Gahahahaha!" said King Larry.
There was a beep.
"Hey, Larry. This is Bart Simpson, from Springfield. Yeah you know, the kid that beat your high score at 18 wheels of fear. Yeah I really don't appreciate having bricks thrown through my window, man."Bart said down the phone. "So tell you what. I challenge you to a public rematch at 18 wheels of fear… but not at some rinky-dink mall arcade…"
Toon Link from Wind Waker gawked at Bart.
"No, meet me at the Soft Pun arcade!" said Bart.
Milhouse gasped. Soft Pun was a very popular arcade in town.
"No! Soft porn arcade!" Oscar rasped.
Bart gawked at him. "I thought you couldn't talk…"
"My tongue healed off screen… so yeah I can talk again…" said Oscar.
Bart groaned exasperated.
"Ugh… usually Hank seethes when I'm being perverted…" Oscar sighed.
Bart gives him a blank stare. "Oz he's dead… remember? You won! He couldn't handle your fan fictions being reposted and shot himself…"
"Yeah I know that…" Oscar sighed.
"Anyway, I bet this Larry chump never shows up…" said Bart.
Milhouse shrugged.
"Oh and one last thing… you better show up, King Larry Fairy…" Bart sent another message to Larry.
Oscar cracked up laughing. "Fairy…"
…
The town hall. Quimby was holding a meeting.
"Okay so it's settled. It is now only a misdemeanour to shoot any type of game from a moving vehicle…" said Mayor Quimby.
"Yeehaw!" Rich Texan cheered.
"Except whales…" Mayor Quimby added with a sigh.
"Yarrrrrr…." Captain McCallister seethed.
Quimby sighed. "Any other new business…"
Barney stands up.
"Yes Barney…" Quimby sighed.
"Can the town have giant rats…" Barney Gumble asked. He belched.
Everyone muttered bemused and flustered.
"No Barney…" Mayor Quimby asked.
Barney sat in a huff. Mickey Mouse got up.
"Yes Mickey…"
"I request my copyright be extended indefinitely! Ho ho boy!" He said in a silly high voice. "These amateur film studios are making my old timey black and white animated self star in gruesome R rated horror movies! I don't want to star in horror movies!" The cartoon mouse protested.
Mayor Quimby face palmed.
"They're making spooky movies about me too! Oh bother…." Winnie the Pooh whined.
"Oh shut up Pooh! Stop offending the Chinese President!" Mickey yelled.
"Can we move on…" Quimby sighed.
"You're not even considering my request?!" Mickey yelled.
"No…" said Mayor Quimby.
Plot 4