Foreword: So, hi again. In the absence of Otherworldly proper, I remembered an idea that I wanted to go back to.

There's this author called rubix22 in the Raildex fandom, who writes these fantastic 4koma-style fanfictions that really mess around with how much a 4koma's "style" (ie visual gags, metanarrative, etc.) can be fit into pure text. Really fantastic stuff. I strongly urge you to give their stuff a read!

But anyways, while I was bored, I thought about messing around with that kind of style of writing as a way to take my mind off of Otherworldly (and WITHOUT touching any of the other side projects I have on the shelf because that would mess me up badly).

So yeah, you get this. This is not canon to Otherworldly in any way, shape or form, it's just purely for fun. And like rubix22 says, the humor can be... ehh? Hit-or-miss? I guess they never miss...

Ok, ok, I'll stop now.

Apocrypha
Unexpectedly, the Isekai Adventure Has Turned Into A 4Koma Comedy, Without the Visuals?!

An Ordinary Day

It was an ordinary day. Hikigaya Hachiman and Maris Hackard were returning from a 3-day run in the Dungeon.

"..."

"Erm…"

They both stared wordlessly at the sight in front of them.

"... Hikigaya-kun… ?"

"... Hikki…? … is that you?"

In front of the duo were two girls wearing uniforms that Maris had never seen before. One of the girls had flowing black hair with red ribbons, and the other girl had shockingly pink hair with a floppy bun on the side of her head.

It was no longer an ordinary day.

First Impressions

"..." There was a brief moment of silence as Hikigaya stared at the two of them.

His eyes narrowed, and slowly, his hand reached out…

… and then he proceeded to scratch his head. "Well, I'm heading back." With that, he promptly turned around and began walking towards the direction of the Hostess before Maris stopped him.

"Wait wait wait wait Hikitani! Isn't there something really wrong with this?"

"Sure." He tried to move again, and she stopped him again.

"Come on!" Maris waved her hand at the 2 other girls, who were, predictably, looking extremely confused. "They know you, Hikitani! Couldn't you at least say hi to them or something?"

"... She is correct, Hikigaya-kun. Isn't it proper etiquette to greet your classmates?"

–There was something about it. Maris felt it.

"As I'm sure you can tell, this isn't a classroom, Yukinoshita." Lazily, Hikigaya waved his hand around. "Take a look around you. It's all real."

"Wha-what? Real?"

"Yeah, Yuigahama. It's all real. Don't worry, you get used to it."

–The pieces clicked together for Maris, and she frowned.

"Hikitani, why are you acting like this is nothing? You're always quiet about where you come from. And these two are obviously from the same place you come from. Shouldn't you be nicer to them?"

"Actually, I don't."

"...? That doesn't make sense!"

"Hah…"

"What? Why are you sighing?"

"Don't you get it? Clearly, this is some sort of cheap, 4-koma gag the author wrote up in his spare time because he was procrastinating on the main series." Hikigaya jabbed a finger at the two of the girls, his face set in an unenthusiastic deadpan. "Seeing as neither of us are the main characters of this setting–"

"I object to that statement! I feel like I have the qualities of a main character!"

"–You're supposed to be dead in canon, so it doesn't even make sense for you to be here to begin with."

"... Eh?"

Is It Wrong To Have a Tragic Backstory In Orario?

"It…" Sitting on a chair with a cup of warm tea in her hands, Eina Tulle began to speak slowly and hesitantly. "It happened when I was just starting out as an advisor."

"... ? Eh? Ehhhh?! Wait, hold on a second, how did we get here?!" With a look of abject confusion at her face, Maris was steadily growing more and more lost at the turn of events.

The 5 of them–Eina, Maris, Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and Hikigaya–were sitting in one of the consultation rooms for the Guild.

"My first adventurer was this girl called Maris." There was a fond smile tinged with nostalgia as Eina stared into the distance. "She was brash and stubborn, and to be honest, the first time we met, we got into an argument immediately."

"... Eh? 'Was'? I'm not sure that I like where you're going with this, Eina-san…"

"But she was willing to learn, and her stubbornness meant that she was willing to do anything to overcome any obstacle." Eina sighed as she took a sip of her tea. "Well, in the end… she's gone now." There was a wistfulness to her expression that spoke of loss.

"... But I'm right here?" Maris, questioningly, pointed at herself.

"Loss is simply part of life that we must accept, Tulle-san." Calmly, Yukinoshita sipped from her tea with both hands. "But I'm glad to see that you've been able to recover from such a tragedy and move onwards with your life."

"Hey! I'm right here! Don't go treating someone like they're dead when they're right in front of you, dammit! … Huh? Wait, why're you patting me on the back, Hikitani? What's with that look in your eyes like you're staring at someone pitiful?!"

"It's okay, Hackard. You don't have to worry too much, since this is just the canonical timeline of what actually happens. Not to worry, though. This death is noncanonical in My Otherworldly Adventure is a Disaster, As I Expected, so there's no need to worry."

Yukinoshita coughed politely into a fist. "Strictly speaking, the whole of My Otherworldly Adventure is a Disaster, As I Expected is noncanonical, since it's just someone else's first published fanwork–"

And that's enough of that. Moving on.

Main Character

"If that's the case…" Maris put a hand on her chin. "Then who would the main character be?"

"Not Hikigaya-kun, obviously." Yukinoshita opened with.

"Oi." Hikigaya fixed his former classmate with a glare. "I have the makings of a good protagonist, Yukinoshita."

"Really? I fail to see how your attitude endears yourself to the position of protagonist in any way, shape, or form, Hikigaya-kun.

"Then why am Ithe one who was isekai'd, huh?"

Yukinoshita put a hand to her chin. "I believe you've heard of the term 'Hero of Another Story', no? I would say that applies here. Only…" Here, her face had a smile that made Maris flinch. "Your story is not a story worth telling."

"Ahaha…" Yuigahama laughed sheepishly as she scratched her head. "That's just what Yukinon is like, Maris-san. Don't worry about it."

"Al-alright…" Maris desperately tried to reassert some level of control over the conversation. "Okay, well, if we're looking for a main character, there has to be something we can tell about them, right? Some sort of heroic quality about them, and all that?"

There was a moment of silence as everyone stopped to think. "That's right. If we're thinking about the main character, it'd have to be…"

Find out next episode!

Main Character, Pt. 2 Electric Boogaloo

"Like hell!" Maris threw the "Find Out Next Episode" sign that had been helpfully provided across the room, where it bounced off the wall and clattered to the floor. "What the fuck was that cheap cliffhanger for?! This isn't even an actual manga! Do you have any idea if that joke even makes sense to the readers in written form? Think of better jokes before you start changing the narration!"

Having finished with her rant, Maris took a deep breath and tried to smooth out her expression. "Okay, back on topic. Main character?"

"If we are to seriously consider this matter, I believe that the most viable candidate would be Lyon-san." Yukinoshita was the first to speak up, hand on her chin. "She fits all the required criteria you would expect of literature at this level, though I hesitate to call it that: a tragic but compelling backstory, ample motivation with which she could be drawn into conflict, belief in righteous ideals, internal struggle over whether what she is doing is right… if there is to be any member of the cast which is the main character, it would most likely be her."

"You sure you're not just projecting…?" Hikigaya muttered. Yukinoshita whirled around to fix him with a stern glare.

"If you have so many objections towards my decision, then by all means, articulate your own opinion then, Hikigaya-kun." Yukinoshita's voice was cold enough to make Maris shiver in her seat.

Hikigaya rolled his eyes. "Viridis, obviously. She's naive, wants to help, strong enough to matter but not strong enough that there won't be some sense of progression as the story goes along, and is already entangled with the Evilus plot in-story right now. Plus, she already has a love interest, and you know that light novel authors like to capitalize on those."

"Evilus what…?" Maris's confused question was ignored. "Wait, Lefiya-chan has a love interest?!"

"What do you think, Yuigahama-san?" Ignoring Maris, the two members of the Service Club turned towards their final member, who laughed sheepishly as she scratched her head.

"Ahahaha… when it comes to the main character, I feel like Finn-san might be it? His vibe kinda reminds me of Hayato-kun, y'know?" For some reason, Yuigahama's reply had Hikigaya rolling his eyes and Yukinoshita looking away with a tsk.

"Personally, I feel like it's Aiz!" Maris chimed in, filling in the awkward silence. "Doesn't she just have that sort of heroic quality to her? What do you think, Eina-san?"

"H-huh?" The half-elf advisor startled. "Well, I think…" The 5 of them fell into a discussion involving what constituted a "protagonist", as defined by settings and tropes, etc. etc.

Elsewhere, down in the Dungeon, Bell Cranel sneezed. He had a feeling that he was being left out of something.

Afterword: Yeah, that's it. This was just something that I quickly banged out in my spare time. There might be a few more of these later on down the line, but don't expect them consistently, lol.

Hope you had fun reading! Bye-bye!