Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.
Who's That Father?
Don't Question My Heart
(Then: Envy, Serpentstone Lab)
Trudging down the damp and dreary hallway, the white coated Hellhound with red-lined eyes grumbled and growled to himself as he flexed his claws irritably. He'd been given the run around for weeks and Jiraiya was fucking sick of feeling like a puppy chasing his tail. He was fifty years old, dammit, not some fresh Pack Pup loose on the streets.
"C'mon, you slimy scaled bastard, where the fuck are you?" He growled as he poked his head into another empty room. Nothing. He'd follow a scent trail if the damn fucker didn't leave his scent fucking everywhere! "This is such a pain in the ass–Why the fuck isn't Tsunade doing this?!"
"Because she's more liable to cause collateral damage and we both know Master Hiruzen doesn't want any part of that."
"Motherfucker–!" Jiraiya swore as he spun on the pad of his paw and glared at the albino Nagakin that had snuck up on him. "Don't fucking do that, Roach!"
"Do what? Test your situational awareness?" Orochimaru asked with a smirk. He tapped Jiraiya on the snout, making the Hellhound snarl. "Too late. You've failed once more, Hellhound."
"I should wipe that smirk off your fucking face." Jiraiya growled. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "But I'm not here to fight."
"You being here, uninvited in my lair, period is evidence to the contrary." Orochimaru deadpanned. He folded his arms and tilted his head. "What does the monkey want now? My debts are paid."
"Not him. Me." Jiraiya grumbled. He dug around in his red vest's pocket and pulled out a picture. In it, a golden-furred Hellpup with bright blue eyes smiled from the arms of a rose-gold Hellhound. "She ran off with him."
"My condolences." The Nagakin softened his gaze. "He's a beautiful mutt. Clearly his mother's son."
"Jackass, I want your help finding them!" Jiraiya scowled. "Bitch thinks she can run off on me after all I fucking did for us to be together?! What I gave up? I don't fucking think so."
"Hold on." Orochimaru smirked and tilted his head again. "You are asking me to help you find your runaway lover and pup?"
"Yes, smartass. Are you going to be insufferable about this?"
"Oh, Jiraiya, I'm insulted you would even ask." The Nagakin chuckled. Then a cruel, wicked smile spread across his serpentine face. "Of course I am."
"Asshole."
"But why ask for my aid and not Tsunade's? She's the one that brought you two together, is she not? I'm certain she would have a better understanding of this hound and her thoughts."
"She and Dan split up. Again." Jiraiya rolled his eyes. Orochimaru cupped his chin and hummed.
"Ah, so she's sober."
"That's putting it fucking lightly."
"How long has it–?"
"She's been in Greed for about a month now."
"Oh." Orochimaru blinked. "Oh, that's bad."
"Yeah, no shit."
"Well, we can't help her, but I have several experiments I need funding for–"
"You're gonna make me buy your help?! Fucking dick move, Roach!"
"You are 'The Squalor', Jiraiya, your wealth surpasses ours. I just need a small fee to fund an experiment, nothing more."
"Fucking–Fine! Just keep it fucking reasonable."
"Of course, of course. What's your opinion on fifteen million?"
Jiraiya felt his eye twitch as his longtime partner in crime and 'friend' started to haggle for his own fucking help. This was why he didn't talk to the other two former enforcers of his first 'crew' anymore. The Succubus had been seduced by the lure of Greed to escape her Lust and the Nagakin was driven by Pride to surpass his Envy. The Hellhound was just fucking glad his Gluttony had tempered enough that he could indulge in other Sins without restraint.
(Now: Pride, Imp City)
She ducked out of work early and told Blitzø she wasn't feeling well. She blamed it on a bad lunch – which wasn't entirely a lie, eating the boxed casserole that she knew wasn't Blitzø's or hers had given her a bit of gas – and a residual hangover. The last thing she wanted was for the idiot that adopted her to learn she'd have another dinner with her boyfriend and his puppy. A relatively cheap Doomer got her back to her apartment to get ready, then she was back downstairs and outside a good five minutes before the familiar Surgat WRX-24 pulled up to the curb.
The driver's door cracked and a soft reproach was given to the backseat before her boyfriend stepped out. He shut the door and walked over to her. Part of her still couldn't believe her fucking luck, and part of her rejoiced that she even had this fucking beast of a Hound as a partner. The rest was still a little irked.
"Hey, Loo." Mm, and that voice sounded so much better in person. He smiled down at her, but it didn't reach his eyes. Why was–? Right, they had been fighting. Well, she'd been itching for a fight. He'd ignored her for almost two weeks. She left a nasty fucking voicemail. How do they–? Oh, hey. Hugs are nice. Loona leaned into the embrace and took in his scent – woodsy with a hint of blood and violets – while he did the same to her. His arms tightened around her briefly and she felt some of the tension she didn't realize was in her back and shoulders melt away. The cool press of his snout into her neck drew her back to the moment. "I'm...Shit, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve the cold shoulder that long."
"Damn straight." She grumbled and nipped at his neck. She pulled back and smirked at the bewildered look that crossed his face. Yep, he's on his toes now. Good. Her claws trailed up through his soft orange fur to cup his jaw and her eyes went half-lidded. "You still owe me for babysitting."
His eyes flared with recognition and he leaned into her touch. His nose grazed hers and the warmth of his breath sent a shiver down her spine. His tail began a slow and steady swish, one that hers faintly mimicked.
"Oh, really?" Yes, that's a good growl, and shit she loved when his eyes gained that dark depth to them, like he wanted to eat her. Loona just got an idea of how to make him pay her back. They must be on the same wavelength, because his claws grazed along her sides and hips. "And what is it you want me to do?"
A scrape of claws on reinforced glass and a faint whine came from the car. Loona and her boyfriend looked at it, before she smirked up at him.
"I'll tell you later. Door unlocked?"
"Yes and no." Naruto shrugged. "Puppy safety locks, one of the greatest inventions to come out of Gluttony. Until I open it from the outside, she stays in the car."
"Hm, good to know." Loona mused and pulled back out of his claws. His ears flattened and she gave him a small smirk. "Aw, what's wrong Babe? Did you miss me?"
"Yes." Naruto frowned at her and she started a bit in surprise. He rubbed his face and stood to his full height with a sigh. He looked down at her with those big blue eyes and unholy shit, the Squirt totally got that Puppy Dog Pout from him. She refused to believe otherwise. "Yes, Loona, I missed you. I-I have no fucking idea why I couldn't talk to you when you called before. Even if I was worried about Pickle, it...It wasn't the right move and...I regret every fucking time I did it. I don't ever think I'll be able to properly explain how fucking sorry I am that I put you through that."
"...Oh." Loona had to swallow. That was, shit, that was a lot more sincere than she expected. She was just gonna let the phone call be the thing that let it all go, but...Fuck. Sweet fuck. Roxanne's words to her earlier that day filtered through her ears.
"He's a fucking catch – the real fuckin' deal– you won't find another demon like him in any fucking Ring. Trust me, I've fucking looked!"
"Don't. Fuck. Up."
Yeah, no shit, bitch. I will not fuck this up, she told herself. She stepped back up to her boyfriend and pushed her claws up on his chest. Before she could request the Hellhound that had two feet and at least a hundred pounds of muscle on her to come closer, Naruto brought his head down to her. She cradled his jaw again and held him steady before she pressed her lips onto his. His hands found her hips again as their kiss deepened and a soft request on her part allowed her to slip her tongue in and explore that sweet warm cavern again. Her tail wagged freely and her mind blanked.
Fuck, he was a good kisser, she didn't ever want this to stop. Alas, she was still in Hell and a Hellborn, which meant the Forces That Be were absolutely still out to fuck with her happiness. A frustrated high-pitched bark along with more scrabbling claws once more caught their attention and reluctantly, they pulled apart. As she caught her breath and quelled the heat that built between her legs, she patted her boyfriend's cheek.
"You...are not allowed to grow any taller." This straining shit was starting to get on her nerves.
"I'll keep that in mind." He chuckled. Another bark and whine had him sigh. "I should let her out so she doesn't assault you in the car."
"Yeah, might as well get this over with." Loona sighed and let him go...after another peck on the nose. "You still owe me. And I'm collecting tonight."
"Just tonight?" He frowned and–Oh, fuck no he was not allowed to look at her like that.
"Don't be a bitch, Babe. I'll be asking for frequent payments." She smirked as he huffed and pulled away from her. She crossed her arms. "Now let me see the Squirt."
"Careful who you say that to." Naruto huffed back and went over to the door. He knocked once on the window and then smirked at her. "Might want to brace yourself."
Brace herself? For wh–? The door opened and a purple blur shot out.
"Miss Loona!"
That was the only warning Loona had before she was knocked off her paws onto her ass. Ow. What the shit hit her and did anyone get the fucking number off of its' plate?! She had a lawsuit to file. In the seconds it took for the stars to clear out of her vision and her breathing to relax, she realized what happened.
Oh, her boyfriend's debt just fucking tripled. She scowled at his grinning face and flipped him off while her other hand wrapped back around the puppy that let out happy whines as she nuzzled against her bruised stomach. She looked down at the puppy that once more had her in a vice-grip hug. Two big bright blue eyes – which were just so not fucking fair; for both of the two present other than herself, that is – looked back up at her.
"You're okay! Daddy said you had to recover at home again and he wouldn't let me use my phone cuz yours got stolen and hacked and–!" – What happened to her phone?! Oh, Loona was ripping Naruto a new one later. That was definitely something she needed to be told! – The puppy's voice dropped to a soft whimper and she nuzzled into Loona again. "And I still felt icky and sore, buh-but I-I missed you."
Oh, fucking... shit on a stick, this puppy didn't deserve to be in Hell. She felt her chest tighten in that stupid annoying way again and brought her other claws around to wrap the little brat up in a hug.
"No you didn't, you knocked me off my feet." She deadpanned. Her boyfriend snorted and Himawari's ears drooped down a bit, so she hastily tightened her hug and added: "I missed you, too, Squirt. You okay?"
"Talking hurts. Barking worse." The Squirt's voice was a whisper. Well, fuck, the puppy strained her voice in her excitement to see her. Alright, this is important Loona, do not let her or Naruto see how much that revelation affects you. That means the burning in her eyes had to stop. Now. Right fucking now. No, don't get worse dammit–You cannot fucking cry! She needed someone to intervene, what's the demonic equivalent to divine intervention?! Because that needs to happen now!
"Alright, Pickle. You and Loona can cuddle more back home." Naruto huffed as he walked over and plucked the puppy off of her and then helped Loona to her feet. Saved by the DILF! He just got some leeway for his punishment later. "If we're gonna eat dinner sometime tonight, we should leave now."
"Why?" Loona asked, arching her brow. Naruto held his pup away for a minute as he leaned down to whisper in her ear.
"The sooner we eat, the sooner Pickle can take her meds, and once she succumbs to the narcoleptic effects, I can start paying you back."
Well, with an explanation like that, how could she in her right mind argue standing around outside of her apartment? Loona felt her tail-tip wag furiously while Naruto pulled back and adjusted his pup on his side once more. Himawari pouted up at her father with that damned chest pain-inducing look she was starting to hate seeing aimed in any which way.
"Daddy, Can't I sit in Miss Loona's lap? Please?" The Squirt whined, her voice gaining a small squeak as she pouted at him. "You 'n' Grump used t' let me do it all the time!"
Dammit! There was another vice on her fucking heart! This little–! How dare she be so fuckin' endearing! Shit wasn't fuckin fair.
"Pickle, I don't think–"
"I'm fine with it." She cut in before Naruto could try and say otherwise. He looked at her, a frown on his face, and she met the gaze calmly. "This way she doesn't get too rowdy in the back, right?"
"...I guess." Oh, he succumbed that easily? This bodes well for Loona's future endeavors.
With that more than blatant approval, she reached up and – after a moment's hesitation on his end – slipped the puppy out from his grip and took her in her arms. The puppy's arms looped around her neck and her bushy tail fanned over Loona's forearm as it wagged. She looked at the now beaming puppy and smirked.
"You'll sit still in my lap, right?"
"Yes!"
"Then that should be fine."
Loona looked back at her boyfriend. The look on Naruto's face when she did was so rewarding. He was, for lack of a better word, gobsmacked with his jaw agape. Carefully adjusting her hold on the small but heavy five year old – seriously, what was this pup made of?! – to sit comfortably on her hip and in one arm, she used her now free hand to tap his jaw shut.
"Careful, Babe, don't want anyone to think you're some easy glory hoe or something."
He gave her a small growl, a very enticed one by the sound of it, and she returned it with her own softer one. He leaned in to brush his muzzle against hers and–
"What's a glory hoe?" Right. Puppy. A surprisingly hefty little brat. Literally in her arms. How did Loona miss that? Shit, there was a twinkle in Naruto's eyes. No. No he fucking wouldn't. He damn well better not–!
"Great question, Pickle." He rumbled as he pulled back and crossed his arms. "Tell us, Loo. What is a glory hoe?"
Sexy, smug, son of a bitch–! Loona was going to ride him until his dick was raw tonight!
"It's a type of tool that adults use to relax." She answered calmly, sending her smirking boyfriend a dirty look while he silently laughed at her. This was payback for that 'peg legging' bit, she just fucking knew it. She put her other arm back under Himawari's legs and carried the puppy around to the passenger side, which was locked. A scowl was sent at her still smirking boyfriend. "You wanted us in the car, so let's fucking go."
"Alright, no need to be so pushy." He chuckled and unlocked the car for them to get in. As she sat down and pulled the puppy around to sit in her lap, he kept talking. "So, who else wants ribs tonight? Got a good haul at the store last night."
"Glutton Beast?" The Squirt asked with perked ears, her tail tickled Loona as it tried to wag where it was pinned between them.
"You know it, Pickle."
"I'm down for ribs." Loona agreed when Naruto's bright blues locked with hers. Hm, maybe she could have some fun here. "Was hoping for a nice thick sausage to gulp down, but ribs are a good second."
"Watch it." Naruto rumbled, a good natured scowl on his face.
"No, I want ribs! I had sausage at breakfast." The Squirt huffed.
"Don't worry, Pickle, you'll get some ribs." Naruto hummed as he pulled away from the curb. "If Miss Loona is hungry later, I'll give her a sausage. She'll have to watch me toss a salad though."
Fucking–! Loona choked on air and then glared at her boyfriend. He might not be smirking or grinning or even looking away from the road, but he knew exactly what he was doing. Sly bastard. You better not cramp up tonight.
She adjusted the puppy so that she wasn't pressing down right on her groin. The last thing she needed was for the kid to ask what a certain smell was. That was going to be left to her dad to explain much later in life.
(Then: Beelzehaven, Hellhound Heights)
He'd just gotten home after working a night shift gig that he picked up from some old contacts he trusted. The pay barely covered the rent and additional food costs, but he'd be able to spend most of the day with her and if need be he could bring his pup with him on the job. When he got home, though they only 'played' for an hour – where he would feed her, change her, and get her cleaned up before she went back in her bundle of blankets on his bed – she fell asleep relatively quickly. Tired as he was from playing security for a warehouse that really didn't need it, he didn't think anything of it and turned in for the night.
He was wrong. So, so wrong.
The crying started abruptly only ten minutes after his eyes fell shut. She wasn't wet, so he figured she was hungry. Alert and awake at the time – thank you, paternal adrenaline rush – he figured it best to just fill his hungry puppy's belly. That was forty minutes ago, and now his adrenaline had worn off. He was exhausted, running on fumes, and the pup continued to howl. The sound pierced his black heart and left it fractured.
"Shh, shh, shh, it's okay Pickle." He bounced the wailing puppy a bit and nosed at her head. She didn't smell sick, but she still didn't smell like she messed herself, either. He lapped her poofy soft puppy fur with his tongue once before he nuzzled against the howling infant. "Oh, baby girl, I know. Daddy's gonna get a new stove just for you. Shh, it's okay." He glared at the beat up appliance and his lip curled. "This is fucking ridiculous. Boil already, you piece of shit."
He wouldn't have this problem if his fucking ex didn't–! He closed his eyes and counted down from five. It wasn't her fault he lived in squalor, but it was questionable that she'd leave the puppy with him. He had a temper, he fought tooth and nail to get most of the things he needed to survive. Why did she think he'd be better with the puppy rather than keeping her with her rich as fuck family?
Because her father is a high-strung, stone-faced, appearance-focused asshole, Naruto. He told himself. The puppy howled again and he closed his eyes as he brought her head up to rub with his chin.
"You're okay, Pickle. Shh." He tucked the pup into his arm and swayed slightly. He chuckled when she let another howl out, this one softer than the last, and began to sway. "You are definitely not your mother's puppy. That's all Uzumaki ferocity right there. Your mom was...Kind of like a flower, something fragile, something I thought was worth protecting. Should've known she had thorns I didn't know about."
The stove finally beeped and so relieved, he grabbed the bottle out of the boiling water. Hot, sure. Dangerous? Meh, Hellborn were relatively heat-resistant. Still, he checked the content before he shoved it into his pup's mouth. Deeming it safe enough, he turned the stove off and walked over to the couch as he tried to get the fussy pup to eat.
"C'mon, Pickle, you're hungry ain't cha?" He growled when she pushed the intrusive dispenser away. "Brat, eat...There, was that so fucking hard?"
Two tiny, wet blue eyes peered up at him, barely open as the puppy focused on suckling at the bottle. His breath caught and he felt the stress and exhaustion of the earlier night melt away. This was his offspring, his child, his puppy. No one could ever take that from him, not if they wanted to keep breathing. He cracked a small smile.
"Shit...You are gonna be a real knockout when you grow up, huh? That might be the one thing you get from your momma I'm alright with." He mused, smile growing before it fell. "Your mom...I'm gonna have to explain that shit one day. How she betrayed me. Screwed you. Fuck, Pickle, if there's a prize for rotten judgement, I would've won that."
A muffled keen had him adjust the bottle and the puppy. Those wet eyes seemed to dry as they fell closed. He gently stroked his claw over the tiny pup's still folded ear.
"You're gonna ask me about her one day. I'll just tell it like it is: that bitch ain't worth the aggravation, she's ancient history; been there, fucked that," he joked tiredly. His claw tapped the pup on her tiny little black nose. "But you? You'll be the one fuckin' thing I can say I did right. You're the best fuckin' little gift in all of Creation, better than Yahweh's stupid fucks on Earth or that shitty eyesore in the sky. I'll put down anyone that says otherwise."
The Hellhound brought his lips down and gently pushed down to his pup's head. The bottle was half empty and she was practically eating in her sleep. He leaned back and kept a loving gaze on the small Hellborn in his claws.
"No chance, I'm letting my puppy hurt like I did." Naruto muttered as he watched his tiny puppy, his lovable Little Pickle, his Himawari enjoy her late night meal. He almost fell asleep at the rhythmic suckle before a frustrated whine had him drop the bottle to the side and gently massage his pup's belly. "No fuckin' way. No. No, you're going to grow up loved, baby girl. Hear me? Daddy promises you that. And Daddy never breaks his promises."
The soft little belch, not much more than a quiet hiccup for him, preceded a large yawn that brought a giant sleepy smile to his face.
"That's my girl." He pulled his pup up to drape her on his chest as he relaxed in his seat, a single paw kept her in place and warm. He closed his eyes to drift off to sleep.
Five minutes later, the crying began anew.
There would be no sleep for the father tonight, but he would survive. He'd been through much, much worse.
(Now: Gluttony, Hellhound Heights)
Dinner was a quick affair to throw together, barely even a hassle. He'd already pulled the rack of ribs out to defrost and had the oven started when they left to pick Loona up. While he finished preparing the meal, Himawari pulled Loona over to her 'art studio' which was just the living room rearranged to have more space on the floor so she could color, lie down and watch television. Normally, he liked to limit such things to one or the other, but...Well, his puppy had been through a lot in the past month.
It's only been a fucking month. Anti-Christ, Naruto thought with a small snarl as he chopped a few more Choler Peppers for the fried vegetables he was going to pair with dinner. First, that little shit Knolastname's antics. Then Bee's bullshit. And now this secret human organization and the human part of it with a vendetta against me. What the fuck is next? Rebels from Purgatory? Inter-Ring civil war? Exterminators going past Pride–
Naruto stopped cutting the Choler Peppers and grabbed the counter.
"Oh..Fuck."
He just realized a huge flaw with his girlfriend's living situation being in Pride. Yes, it was common knowledge that the arrangement between King Lucifer and the Exterminators hinged on the latter's ability to not attack Hellborn to protect the Princess, but many Hellhounds, Imps and other lowborn were written off as expendable at the end of the day. Shit, the only reason the residents of Hell even cared about following Earth's calendar year was because it was tied to the Extermination Day Clocktower in Pride. On that day, no Hellborn made plans to be in Pride, but if they were they were on their own.
Two months, a week and change. That's the next Extermination Day. Naruto grit his teeth and swallowed back a growl. I've gotta get Loona out of there. How do I bring it up–?
The sound of casual paw steps across the tiled floor tore him from his own head and he turned to look at his approaching girlfriend. He shelved the thoughts about Extermination Day and flashed her a small smile.
"Hey. How's the exhibit?"
"...Your puppy is either going to be a depraved serial killer, or the first Hellhound artist commissioned to paint something by the Royal Family." The certainty in Loona's amused drawl had him let out a laugh. The she-hound wandered over with her hands behind her back and peered at the chopped peppers. "Cholers?"
"Ribs are good and all, but the nutrients in these help our metabolism so we don't pack on too much when we're eating garbage. They should also help Pickle's throat heal." Naruto explained as he went back to chopping. He cut vegetables in content peace with Loona at his side, watching him work. He felt himself smile despite the train of thought he had moments before. He could get used to this in a more permanent setting.
"...You really do care, don't you..?" She mumbled.
What the fu–? Wait! No, don't lose focus, stupid, you're chopping–!
Too late.
"Shit!" Naruto hissed and dropped the knife while he pulled his bleeding hand away from the food. A good third of his index was just sacrificed – damn, that cutlery was worth the fifty-five hundred he dropped on it – to dinner, so whoever reigned over that domain better smile upon his efforts.
"Oh, fuck! Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, just–Fuck, that hurt! Fuck. Gimme a second." He swallowed the whine and went to the sink before he started washing the wound off as it healed, something that wouldn't be done for another half hour at least. Once the bleeding stopped and blood was washed away, he went back to the cutting board and scowled at the bit of finger he'd lost. He picked it up in his other hand. "Damn, that's what I get for letting my mind wander."
"So, what were you–? That's disgusting." Loona deadpanned when he tossed the chopped finger into his mouth and swallowed it hole. He looked at her as if she were crazy.
"What?"
"You just ate your finger."
"At that point? It's just meat." He snorted and washed the knife off before he went back to cutting the Choler Pepper. He felt his girlfriend's eyes stay on him in disbelief.
"Just mea–?! Babe, that was your finger!"
"Yeah, you know how we can eat whatever we want? Eating your own discarded flesh promotes healing." He held up his hand to show off the regenerating finger. That half-hour timeline just dropped to fifteen minutes. "See? It's already half-back. No big, just surprised and hurt for a second."
"Oh my fuckin–Naruto..." Loona whined and dropped her face into her hand. "That's all kinds of fucked up."
"Welcome to Hell." Naruto smirked at her. She growled at him and he chuckled. "Just a joke, relax, Loo. I'm fine. Dinner's gonna be ready in a bit. Why don't you go back to the art exhibit?"
"I got kicked out so she could finish one of her pictures for us."
"For 'us'?" He asked as he separated the blood covered vegetables, he'd eat those himself.
"Guess so." Loona muttered as she hugged her arms around herself, her ears folded back and her tail curled at her feet.
Now, Naruto wasn't the smartest guy – some may have called him oblivious when he was younger; more may continue to call him such, he didn't give a shit – but he wasn't an idiot. That posture, tail placement, and dropped eye contact told him a lot more than words could. Basically, something was wrong. He had a sneaking suspicion he was at fault, but he could make up for it.
He set the knife down again and used his fully intact hand to pull his girlfriend into a hug. She didn't protest and actually leaned into it, which only proved he was right. Something was wrong.
"Hey. Loona? Everything alright?" He asked softly. He tilted his head as he looked down at her. "Is this about the finger thing? I mean, I know it's kind of gross, but on the streets it's how you keep from getting infections. We had to regenerate as fast as we could because supplies were–"
"No, Babe, it's-it's not that...I just..." She wrapped her arms around his sides and squeezed. He reciprocated and craned his head down to rub his muzzle along hers.
"What is it?" He frowned as she buried her face into his chest. A softer, sadder whine emitted from her throat, and any thoughts about dinner went on the proverbial – and somewhat literal; his two-fingered hand turned down the stove to a slower cook – backburner. "Loo? Loona, what's wrong? C'mon, talk to me."
"Don't-Don't ask, Babe. Just...Goddammit!" The hushed hiss was followed by a sharp intake of air. Ruby red eyes looked up at him with a glisten in them he hadn't seen on her face. They quickly darted away again and her claws dug into his sides. Uh, ow? Another whine had him disregard the pain for now and nuzzle her again. A shuddered breath came out from the she-hound. "...Fuck. Fuck, she was fucking right and I fucking hate it–!"
"Whoa, who was right? About what?" Naruto frowned and pulled back. Another whine was followed by a growl. "Loona, I can't help you if you don't talk to me. Please? I just want to help."
"Fuck." Loona huffed. She looked up at him. "I don't want to break up with you."
"...Okay, good. I didn't realize we were on the cusp of it." He admitted with a frown. "So what did I do wrong? ...Aside from ignoring you for two weeks, which, again, I can't convey enough how much I regret doing that."
"I know, Babe. No, I mean...We're not bad. I...Today, I just had..." Loona muttered. She whined and pushed her head into his chest again. "I fuckin' suck at this."
"Suck at what? Talking?"
"Yes!" She groaned. He snorted and she glared up at him before she looked away again. "When it fucking matters, I mean."
"I don't think so."
"Then clearly you don't pay fucking attention." She grumbled. She wasn't seriously–Okay, she was.
"Loona, look at me."
"Can't you just hold me like this?"
"C'mon, Loo." He sighed and used his good paw to tilt her head up. Her eyes, though narrowed, were rimmed with what might be tears, but that moisture could also just be whatever product she's got on, met his. "You are so fucking articulate and careful with what you say when you care about whoever it is that's listening. You, like many of us Hellborn down Here, aren't afraid to speak your mind, but you suffer from a fear of perception."
"I'm not afraid–"
"It's not the same thing."
"Then what is it?"
"It's a hesitance to be vulnerable." Naruto said softly. "To open up and share your deepest thoughts or feelings with another Hellborn...It's the hardest fucking thing to do. But if you want this to work...we to be able to talk to each other. Not scream or shout or anything."
"So, what, we're just supposed to dump our baggage on each other?"
"No, like... the Imp couple you work with? They share their shit with each other, right?"
"Yeah, so fucking much. And in public, too."
"Phrasing." He snorted. She scowled and he shook his head. "Right, serious time. Sorry. Anyway, I can tell by looking at those two that they have what a lot of Hellborn want. They have some...trust. Care. ...Love."
"What's the fucking point of this?"
"The point, Loo," Naruto said softly with a little smile. He ran a claw over one of her stray bangs and tucked it out of her face. "Is that for us – for you and me, a couple of orphans who'd been burned before – we gotta work on it. Put effort into trusting each other. I'm not saying that those two Imps had it easy, or that it came instantly for them, because I don't fucking know them. I know me, and...I want to know you."
"...God-fuckin–!" The growl and snarl was not what he expected her to react with, not entirely. Her claws framed his face and he was guided down into a firm liplock. It relaxed them both and they remained connected for a long second before the need for air got to them. When their lips parted, Loona glared into his half-lidded eyes. "You are the catch. And I am not fucking this up."
"...No, you're really fuckin' not." He chuckled. When she growled again he felt his ears flatten and he lost his smile. "Not a joke?"
"No." She huffed. Her eyes clenched shut. "I...I got challenged. For you? About you. About us."
"What?" Naruto frowned. Another Hellhound had challenged–? Amusement and warm feelings were buried beneath a rising cold fury. "Tell me what happened."
"I was...I was getting coffee for the staff at work. Waiting for my first cup in the morning, you know? Then, who else but fuckin' Roxanne Wolfsbane walks in!" Loona growled, her claws slackened from his face and wrapped around his sides again as she pulled herself back against him. He hugged her back, the cold fury slowly turning into a wrathful frost. "Bitch, basically gets a free cup of coffee and spots me. She pulls me over to a booth and tells me flat out that if we split, she's gonna make a move. That others were watching me because they're fucking jealous and she was being nice by giving me a heads up. All but fuckin' challenged me for you outright."
"...Rox said that, huh?"
"Yeah." Loona huffed. "But during all that...she...She said some shit that's not wrong. You're like...the catch for Hellhounds, Babe. And I'm...Not."
"Ex-fucking-scuse you?" Naruto scowled and looked down at the she-hound in his arms. "Don't talk shit about my girlfriend. I picked her because I like the way she looks, smells, talks, laughs–"
"Don't bullshit, Naruto. If we didn't meet because of your Pup–"
"The fact that we met because of Pickle makes you more special than you realize, Loo." Naruto cupped her cheek and smiled at her. "She likes you. She really likes you. I don't get that lucky with she-hounds. She only liked Rox because she'd known her scent since she was a few months old. Pickle met you and liked you on day one. That's how I know you're special; my puppy is friendly as fuck, but she doesn't like everyone."
"I'll believe that when I see it." Loona scoffed.
"Trust me. If Pickle didn't like you, we wouldn't have gotten past a first date." Naruto smiled. "And you like her, too. Bonus."
"Well, yeah, she's...alright." Loona huffed and looked away. "I thought she was spoiled at first."
"She is." Naruto admitted with a shrug. Loona looked up at him with an arched brow and he tilted his head. "What? Should I not spoil my only puppy and raise her how I always wanted to be raised?"
"Point." She sighed and leaned into him again. "I don't want to break up. I don't want you to break up with me. You're...special. You and your weird friendly little puppy."
"She is weird." Naruto smirked. He glanced at the living room entryway. A small purple ear was visible. "And she better not be eavesdropping on us if she wants any sort of dessert tonight!"
The sharp gasp and pitter-patter of paws had him snort while Loona huffed into his chest.
"You're such a fuckin' Dad, babe."
"You love it." Naruto rumbled down at her as he gently scratched her upper back. Loona sighed.
"Yeah...You know what I love more?"
"Me?"
"You...r cooking."
"Oh...Fuck, the ribs!" He tore away and went back to the stove. Loona let out another soft cute laugh that he couldn't enjoy through the fog of his panic.
AN: The gauntlet has been thrown! Nearer now are we to the chapter of Halloween; only a few more for the lives to be shared evermore.
…Oh, Hi, this is Me talking. Myself and I are still looking for Steve. If you find him – he's seven-three, with lime-purple skin and a big blue mouth; hard to spot, I know – do let us know.
Thank you for reading!