Bella's Point of View

My mother was gone. The thought echoed through my head all day. She was no longer in this world. She didn't even know I was pregnant. She would never meet my children. Not like I planned on her being a big part of their lives… but it would have been nice to have the option. Maybe my hatred would have cooled down. Maybe we could have reconciled. But it was too late now. I was overwhelmed with conflicted feelings. A mixture of relief and sorrow. This had taken me off guard completely. I didn't think her death would have affected me at all. Perhaps I wouldn't have felt the weight of her passing, if it wasn't for the manner of her death.

Suicide. I didn't even know the depths she had fallen to reach this pit of self-loathing. Or maybe it was her own guilt that made her do this. Regardless of the cause, I felt personally responsible. If I had made an attempt to be friendlier with her at the funeral, would she have hung on longer and made an attempt to keep living, for my sake?

There was a lot I didn't know and a lot I didn't want to think about. I sat alone in my room, the curtains pulled, the door shut, the lights off. The darkness helped me refocus myself. I kept my eyes closed. I could hear Ana's muffled cries through the door to the room. She was taking the news as I had expected. We still weren't speaking. I suspected she blamed me for mom's death as well. But I couldn't find the energy to think too deeply in that direction. I had to stop myself from making too many assumptions. It would only worsen the strain that was forming between our relationship.

After Alice gave me the news, Edward brought me back to the apartment. I requested to be left alone for a while, so I could sort out my emotions. I needed a break from the shit-storm that seemed to constantly be following me. When would it end? When would my life go back to normal? Would there ever be a normal again?

Slowly, I allowed myself to rest back against the pillows, trying to get comfortable. A light rain had started a while ago. I listened to the tapping against the glass. A scented candle was lit on the night stand next to my side of the bed. A sweet, fragrant aroma. Possibly rose, with a hint of vanilla.

Why should I even care that she is dead? She has been nothing but cruel to me and Ana. So abrasive and frigid. A selfish drunkard that wasted her life at the bottom of a bottle and a new man every night. Why does it still hurt?

There was a faint knock on the door, disrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah," I responded.

"It's me," Ana's voice was on the other end of the door.

I felt my heart sink. Here it comes. She was here to confront me. She was upset and wanted me to know it was all my fault. It was because of me that our mother took her life.

"I'm not really in the mood to fight."

"Good, I'm not either. I just want to talk."

I sighed heavily, keeping my eyes closed. "Fine, come in."

Slowly Ana made her way inside my room and closed the door behind her. I listened intently but refused to open my eyes. I didn't want to see the expression on her face. I knew it would only hurt worse. There was more movement, it felt like she got onto the bed as well.

There was a long pause, before she finally spoke. "I've done some thinking about all this. And, as much as I looked for someone to blame for all of this… I think truly died when dad died. She never recovered from his loss. She just… existed… she killed herself, because she couldn't cope. She didn't want to be separated from him any longer."

Now I opened my eyes, peeking at her face. There was a frown on her face, but other than that, she appeared to be serious. "She held on for years after he died. What do you think finally drove her over the edge?"

"Well, it's probably because of us. She believes that I am dead. And she knows that her relationship with you wasn't going to improve any time soon. She probably just wanted to end things to get back with dad." She lowered her head.

"But that isn't going to be possible."

Ana nodded with a sigh. "I know, when I heard the news, I reached out to Matrika. Hoping she would give her another chance. So, maybe someday, she would earn the privilege of being with dad again."

I hadn't expected to hear that. "What does that mean? Give her another chance?"

"I asked if our mother could be reborn. Given a new life. With no memories of her past. I hoped that if she had a better start to life, she would make different choices. Better choices."

Well, that wasn't the worst news. I'm not sure if it would make any difference. But it did lighten the guilt that I felt. Maybe this would be the best option. I knew my mother had a hard life; she wasn't dealt the best scenario to grow up in. But would that really change her?

"I'm surprised Matrika is doing this for our mom. I was under the impression that she really didn't like her. How did you convince her?" I asked with a raised brow.

Ana shrugged her shoulders. "Matrika asked if it would make you feel better, and I told her that it probably would offer a little comfort. Of course, I wasn't sure if that was really the case…"

"Well, it does. So, thank you, for speaking with her. I didn't even know it was an option."

"I did this for my own sake. I couldn't live with the guilt." Ana paused, chewing her lip. "Look, I don't want to fight with you anymore. I know I said some things… that were unfair… and I'm sorry."

"I'm over it. I just want to move on. There are more important things to worry about." I concluded with a nod.

"Like what?"

"Well, Edward mentioned that all underage reapers must attend school. Until they turn eighteen, they aren't permitted to start working for any company. So, we'll need to get you registered."

Ana's face fell for a moment. "I thought I would finally be rid of going to high school. You're telling me, I have to go to school for reapers?"

"Yes, you'll need to graduate, then you can start working. What I've been told is this school is very different to the schooling you are used to. It's more for developing your abilities. Understanding your new vessel. And getting control over your power. Things along those lines."

Ana sighed heavily. "Fine, if I have to."

"Katlyn has started your paperwork for entrance to the academy. So, she will probably be stopping by some time this week to go over all the details with you."

"Where is this school? Is it close by, will there be some kind of magic reaper school bus that's coming to pick me up?"

"No, it's actually… far away. You will be living in a dormitory." The thought made me feel a little concerned. I wanted Ana to stay close by, so I could keep an eye on her. But this was necessary. We had to follow the rules to this world. "I think Edward mentioned this school sits in a neutral territory, about four hours outside of the city."

This new piece of information didn't appear to worry Ana in the slightest, in fact, the way her face lit up suggested she might actually be happy about all this. I wondered if she wanted some space. Maybe she had grown tired of living with me. I couldn't blame her. Her life had gone from bad to worse under my roof.

"Well, that sounds exciting. A new adventure. That's just the thing I needed. A new life for my new body. This will be a fresh start for me." Her tone was nothing short of joy.

"I'm glad you aren't mad about it. But I will miss you." I admitted quietly.

Ana nodded, reaching over to take my hands. "It will be fine. It's my turn to step out into the world on my own. I'm sure we will be able to keep in touch."

"Right," I squeezed her hands, taking a deep breath. "The new school year will begin in just a month. So, we have a lot of things to get in order."

Ana bobbed her head excitedly. "Does this mean we get to go school shopping?"

I groaned inwardly at the thought. "I suppose it does." I muttered begrudgingly. "But not today. We will plan for a trip to the mall for this weekend. After these last few days, I just need a little while to get my mind right."

"I understand. Jacob is taking me out for dinner tonight. So, I'm going to go get ready. Don't wait up for me tonight. Okay?" She said as she bounced off my bed and practically skipped to the door of my room.

I waved her off. "Fine, just don't be out all night. You're still only sixteen. You can't just go run wild. Keep your phone on and text me if anything happens."

Ana rolled her eyes. "Alright, see you later." With that, my sister left my room.

Our conversation made me feel a little better. I still wasn't sure how I felt about our mother dying the way she did. It left a very bad taste in my mouth and my guilt was still lingering. I just didn't see something like this happening. I never thought she was struggling that much. Should I learn something from this? Should I have just forgiven her?

I closed my eyes for a while, forcing myself still, even though my body was itching to start pacing. I curled myself into a ball, letting my hands move down to my stomach. The babies. They were always on my mind these days. Knowing that they were here, inside of me, it soothed a lot of my frazzled nerves.

I reflected on this past year. I had been struggling for a while, before I met Edward. My old job was tedious. Hard work for very little pay. My apartment was cramped and outdated. I was alone and drunk more times than I'd like to admit. My life was going nowhere, fast. But now, I had a beautiful place to live, a comfortable and lucrative job and best of all, I found the love of my life. There were more good aspects of my life than bad. So, I shouldn't allow all this death, doom and gloom get me down.

I would become a mother, better than my own. I couldn't allow sadness to stand in the way of giving them the best possible life. I needed to take control of my life. And I needed to start now. Renee got her second chance at life and now Ana had that as well. I needed to take action. I'm tired of just sitting around and allowing everyone around me to grow and move on without me.

With a little self-motivation, I got up from my bed and walked to the doorway, peering out to where Edward was sitting at his desk. His back was to me, his head lowered as he typed feverishly on his laptop. He hadn't noticed my presence as I moved more into the living room. In the kitchen, I heard Emmett yawning and the hard tapping of fingers against keys. He was here working as well. The area was quiet. No one was speaking. Ana and Jacob had already left.

I took a seat on the couch, wrapping a blanket around myself.

"I'm almost finished," Edward spoke without turning around.

"Take your time." I responded, resting my head back to glance out the window. The skies were clear. The sun still lingered but was sitting low. On the streets below, I noticed the flashing lights of a few police cars flying past. The crime never rests in this city.

After about ten minutes, Emmett casually walked into the room, taking a seat on the couch opposite me. His eyes lowered. His shoulders flexed inward. Overall, he had a sheepish demeanor. As if he was waiting for me to scold him.

"Hey Bella, how are you holding up? I mean… I'm really sorry to hear about your mom." He said, not meeting my gaze.

"I don't know how to feel." I was short and to the point. I still wasn't quite happy with Emmett. He had proven to be someone I couldn't trust. I wasn't willing to work on that relationship at this time. His feelings weren't my priority.

"I can understand that, I guess. To be honest, I'm not sure how I would feel if Esme were to die." He responded with a nod.

So, he was referring to her as Esme now, instead of mom. That was a subtle change. But it was noticeable. He had a complicated relationship with her. Like me, he was adopted. I suppose he may understand me better than anyone else right now. But there were still enough differences that I knew he couldn't fully relate.

"Did you find out about your biological mother? Any information?"

"Her name was Lauren Taylor, born in 1918. She was thirty years old when she had me. She was married to my father Carlisle for a short time. Three years. She worked as a maid on weekends and an elementary school teacher during the week." Emmett paused, a hint of a smile coming to his face. "But I wasn't her only child. Apparently, I had an older sister as well."

"Wow, so you were born in 1948. And, you have a sister. Do you know anything about her?"

"Her name is Violet, born in 1945. Esme sent her away to an orphanage. She grew up, got married. Had children. Her children had children. Violet is still alive, living in a nursing home now. But her husband passed away. Her son is a lawyer, here in Boswel. I hear that he coaches the high school football team as well. I think his name is Garrett." Emmett said with a wider smile.

"Do you think you might want to meet them? I mean, they are your family?"

Emmett shook his head. "Nah, we may share the same blood, but that doesn't make us family. I don't really know them. We are strangers. And to be honest, I'd rather leave the past behind me." He now turned to look towards Edward. "I have my hands full enough with Eddie." His tone turned mockingly.

Edward glanced over at him with narrowed eyes, but didn't comment. He turned back to his work without any hesitation.

"You might be strangers now, but don't you want a relationship with them? Aren't you curious? Don't you think Violet wonders about you? I mean, I'm sure she was at least aware that you exist."

He shrugged his massive shoulders, a thoughtful look on his face. "And what would I say? I mean, I should look like some old prune? Full of wrinkles. An old bag of bones. We are only three years apart… and I don't look a day over twenty."

"Well, I guess you have a point," I allowed. "It's just a shame… if I had another sibling out there in the world… I would want to meet them."

Emmett blinked a few times, hesitating. "You do have siblings. A lot of them. Nine to be exact."

That's right. I'm the grim's daughter. I still haven't wrapped my head around that completely.

"You wouldn't happen to know anything about them, would you?" I asked with a pinch of hope.

"Well, I only have a little information on one of them. But this doesn't come from something I've personally seen. But Vex mentioned running into a blue blood while she was out doing a reaping list."

The mention of Vex made my blood run cold. I remembered her. Although it's been a long time since she has been brought up. I felt a sudden rush of envy and loathing take hold of me. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Edward flinch slightly.

"So, what did she say?" I asked reluctantly.

"There was a huge disaster in the city. A plane crashed into a few buildings. Mass hysteria and a lot of death. Reapers from all over were called in to help. A blue blood showed up on the scene. A man, who referred to himself as Joshua. The fourth son."

"I think I remember hearing about that incident when I was younger. I was only… like ten years old. But it was all over the news. So many people lost their lives that day. It must have been awful."

"I wasn't in town for it unfortunately. I was stuck with Eddie and Jasper, for Jasper's bachelor party. We went to Mexico. Don't even ask me why. It was all Jasper's idea. It was the most boring trip I've ever been on. No girls. No beer. Nothing but drunk karaoke." He muttered. "I'm sure if it would have been any different, Alice would have killed the three of us."

"Now that you mention it, why did Alice and Jasper end their marriage?"

"Tanya." He replied, casting an anxious look towards Edward now.

Edward sighed heavily, turning around in his seat to look at the both of us. His expression was serious. I could see the tension forming in his shoulders as his brows pulled together.

"Jasper had an affair. He slept with Tanya, right around the time she announced her pregnancy with the twins. Now, we learned that he had been under Tanya's spell. She used her powers to manipulate his mind. That's why he did what he did." Edward said as he shifted to his feet.

He moved to plop down on the couch next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I instantly leaned into his side, taking comfort in his closeness.

"So, now that Alice knows that, is there a chance that they will reconcile?"

"Not a chance. Jasper found his life partner. There is no way for them to have that relationship again. But at least, they may be able to rebuild a friendship. It would surely improve things. Alice might not take her frustration out on her girls anymore." Emmett commented.

"She blamed them. Didn't she? That's why she is so cold towards them. She believed that Jasper had the affair because she was pregnant with them."

"Yes, that's what I've always suspected." Edward said shrugging his shoulders. "But you know how secretive Alice is. You never know what that girl is thinking."

"Do we know who his life partner is, by chance?"

"Not to bring her back up again… but Vex. They became exclusive not very long ago. They seem relatively happy. Which sucks for me. I lose out on… having a little fun with her, every now and then. But I am happy for them both." Emmett said with a snort.

I rolled my eyes. It still was a mystery to me, why Emmett would even bother with a woman like that. I didn't think much of her. Regardless of that fact, she is no longer a threat to my relationship with Edward. I still didn't like her. But I felt the same way about Jasper. I didn't like or trust him. But it was clear that both Edward and Emmett were close with the guy. So, I'd give him the benefit of doubt.

"And Jasper isn't… offended… that you have been sleeping with his life partner on and off for a long time?" I wondered, looking at Emmett with a raised brow.

Emmett nervously rubbed the back of his head, lowering his gaze. "Well, at this point, I've pretty much slept with everyone's life partner at least once. I mean… there is Vex… and you, of course."

I felt my cheeks instantly go hot.

Edward glared daggers at Emmett. I could feel his emotions burst out of him. Instant fury. Like striking a match. A noise left his lips, something like a snarl. His eyes shifting into a darker shade.

"Emmett, not another fucking word." Edward seethed.

"Calm down, that's ancient history. A drunken one-night stand is nothing to get overly upset about." Emmett said quickly, holding his hands up.

I couldn't even believe that he would bring that up. "He's right, I barely remember it even happening."

Our words didn't seem to put Edward at ease. In fact, he only seemed to be getting more angry by the second. He pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling noisily. I could feel him attempting to contain his rage.

"Change, the subject. Now." He gritted his teeth in frustration.

"I never slept with Tanya. That should count for something. Jasper is the one that fucked that up. And I'm pretty certain that Jacob didn't either. But he and Alice… well I know they had a fling back in the day. We can talk about that." Emmett offered.

This was news to me. They never mentioned something like that in front of me. They didn't even act like the other existed when they were in the same room. I never would have guessed that Jacob had slept with Alice at one point. I wonder if it was to get back at Jasper? Since they both didn't seem to like him much.

"Can we just stop talking about sex?" Edward begged.

So, if I got this right, Edward slept with me and Tanya. Emmett slept with me and Vex. Jasper has slept with Alice, Tanya and assumingly Vex, since that's his life partner. And Jacob slept with Alice and who knows who else. It seemed like this little group was all sexually connected in some way. The thought made me cringe slightly.

"Fine, I just wanted to know if there is one woman out there, that all of us has slept with." Emmett said a bit deflated. "Just so I could ask them, who was best in bed. You know… I mean… I'm sure it's me." He shrugged.

Edward clicked his tongue in obvious annoyance. "Why does something like that even matter?"

"Says the guy that already found a life partner." Emmett replied bitterly. "Hell even Jacob found someone. I'm the only one… that has no one…"

"You'll find her." I said quietly. "Just be patient. I'm sure she is out there…"

"Really? You think so?"

"Yeah, I've always believed that there is a special someone out there in the world, for everyone. So, don't lose hope. She'll pop into your life when you least expect it."

"I really thought it was going to be you, Bella." He admitted quietly, turning away from us.

Edward hissed. "We had this conversation already Emmett. I don't want to repeat myself. She is mine. You can give up now."

"Damnit Edward, I know that already. You don't get it. You never will. You've always been given everything that I ever wanted. And without even trying." Emmett stood with a glare on his face. "Do you have to continuously rub it in my face. I know she is yours. I don't plan on getting in the way of that. But could you please just understand…"

"I'm not having this discussion again. Not tonight. If you're going to act like this… just go back to the office. I'm not in the mood to deal with you."

"Edward," I frowned at him slightly, before standing up to face Emmett. "Listen Emmett, I can't feel anything for you. Not romantically. And to be clear, I'm still pretty pissed at you. So, friendship isn't really something I'm interested in either. But you are a good guy when you are sober. You would make a good life partner for someone. So do your future wife a favor… clean yourself up. Stay sober. And get your life together. Your life partner deserves you at your best. And fighting with your brother and complaining about how unfair life is… that's not the kind of guy that anyone wants."

My words were sharper than I intended. But silence fell over the room. Edward's anger was subdued. And the blank look on Emmett's face was better than the gloom that had previously been there.

"You're right Bella. As usual. I guess there is still a lot of shit I need to figure out." Emmett said after a long pause. "I'm sorry for losing my temper like that. I think it's best if I go back to the office and get some work done tonight."

"I'll call you tomorrow." Edward said as the both of us watched Emmett walk towards the door to leave.

He didn't turn back around, he just kept walking. He hesitated at the door as his hand wrapped around the knob. "Sure," Was his last reply, before he slowly opened the door and walked out.

Edward exhaled heavily. "He will be the death of me, I swear. I'm sorry you had to hear all that."

"It's alright, I understand how it is… Ana isn't always the most pleasant. We fight every once in a while. It's just a part of being a family." I sat back down, relaxing back into his side.

He wrapped his arms around me, a smile returning to his face. "I suppose you're right." He softly placed kisses down my neck. "Are you hungry? I can make something. Or perhaps we can order out?"

"Before that, there are some things that I'd like to talk with you about. Some thoughts I've had about our future. I'd like to go over some of it with you. If you have some time to listen."

His eyes danced for a moment. "Alright, let's hear it."

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it was a lot of dialog. Not too much action. But I had to get some of these thoughts out. Some of the finer details of this story end up getting lost along the way. So, I really wanted to slow down just a little and sprinkle in some information. Again, thanks for reading! Leave a review with your thoughts.