Two hours later, they were lying together in Buffy's bed, both feeling wonderfully spent. Buffy was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling and wondering what it felt like to smoke, not that she really wanted to try it. They just always showed people in movies doing it after sex. Xander was lying on his side looking at her. Impulsively, he lifted the sheet and looked at Buffy's nude body.

"Xander!" She said, feeling embarrassed, flattered, aroused and amused all at once by his attentive expression.

"You're starting to show." He said quietly as he began stroking the bare skin of her stomach. "So beautiful…"

Buffy felt tears forming in the corner of her eyes. She put her hand on top of his as he caressed her. She did feel beautiful and special when Xander looked at her and touched her like that. It had been like this the one other time. She had felt the same warmth she had when she told him about the baby, and he had reacted so well. An image ran through her mind of Xander teaching a giggling, gloriously beautiful dark haired little girl how to ride a bike. She could hear the delighted high-pitched shouts, "Watch me, daddy, watch me! I'm doing it daddy!"

"Daddy," she whispered, a smile lighting her face.

Xander smiled back and answered, "Mommy."

One thing changed that day. Neither of them skipped around the issue anymore. It had become their baby. One thing didn't change. They were still very capable of annoying each other. The afterglow of the sex and very real bonding lasted for several hours. As the evening drew on and Dawn got home, Xander could feel Buffy closing off more and more as time passed. He could almost see her backing away and erecting barriers. Finally, as he was leaving, she followed him outside.

"Xander," she said, "today was wonderful but…"

"But it really doesn't mean anything, right?" Xander said, and paused as if waiting for an answer, but she just looked at him, confused. "I know, Buffy," he smiled at her. "You're safe. We're friends, and I'll be here when you need me." He turned and walked away. "I'll see you tomorrow," he called over his shoulder to a stunned and silent slayer. Buffy stood there for a long time after she had watched him drive away.

The next day, by the time Xander went to his apartment, got cleaned up after work, and then made it too Buffy's, she had worked his parting words around in her mind till she was pretty sure she didn't like them and was mad about the whole situation. She had burned herself at work and Dawn being unusually trying had much to do with her mood, but she blamed it all on him. He came through the door without knocking, much to Buffy's annoyance, and flopped on the couch with a casual grin. He propped his feet on the coffee table. She knocked them off. "Don't," she said.

"Ok, I won't," he said in the blandest most agreeable voice imaginable.

"And don't try to placate me. It's patronizing."

"You want to tell me what you're mad about or am I supposed to just take it until you get it out of your system?"

Buffy glared at him. "I didn't like what you say when you were leaving last night."

Xander smiled in what must be admitted was a condescending manner. "I'm sorry. What did I say wrong?"

"You just told me what I wanted to hear, not what you really felt."

"I did. I'm sorry it was just... we had just had an incredible experience and I wasn't ready for you to dismiss it."

Buffy opened and then closed her mouth without speaking. Her mind went back to how she felt with his hand on her and the reverent look in his eyes. "I would never dismiss it."

"Good."

"So, how are you feeling about…"

"Us?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Buffy said nervously.

Xander smiled. "There is an 'us', Buffy. We were together again, so we don't get to say i's a one time thing. We're going to be parents. We really need to figure out exactly what "us" is." He stood to walk out of the room as if the conversation were over.

As far as Buffy was concerned, the conversation was very not over. "Hey! You stop right there!" She bounced a pillow off the back of his head, "I'm not done with you."

Xander turned briefly. "I don't think we're in a good place for this talk, Buffy." He said, and he turned and walked out the door. As he had the night before, he waved over his shoulder and stated he would see her the next day.

Buffy flopped full length on the couch and lay there stiffly for a moment and, since she was alone, gave in to childishness and kicked her feet and beat her hands on the couch in frustration. After a while she sat up and dialed Willow. "I'm going to kill him," Buffy said immediately when it was picked up.

"Who and why," Willow said in a languid tone.

"Xander! He… aarrggghh!"

Willow giggled a little. "What did he do?"

"He… was an ass. We were having a very important conversation, and he just got up and walked out."

Willow was a little confused, "Were you arguing?"

"No, but people shouldn't just walk out in the middle of other people's important talking stuff."

"What happened?"

Buffy thought about her answer for a moment. "Last night, we had sex again."

Willow said, "Really? Wow." Buffy completely missed the sarcasm.

"That's not the big thing. It was… after. We were in my bed, and he was sort of just looking at me."

"So he was looking at you. So what?"

"I mean he… lifted the blanket and looked at… my body. He… well he was sort of entranced by it." Buffy lost herself in the moment, remembering the feelings it aroused in her. "He started touching my stomach and he… he said I was starting to show a little. He said it was beautiful." Willow was starting to tear up a little. "I can't… it was… it must have been hormones. I got all mushy thinking about Xander as a father, and I called him daddy and he called me mommy."

Willow reached for a tissue. "Buff, what could possibly be bad about that?"

"I got scared that Xander would have… expectations that I can't fulfill. Then last night I tried to tell him that and he was a big smarty-pants. 'We're just friends Buffy. I know Buffy. You're safe Buffy'," she was doing a spiteful imitation of Xander's voice. Willow had gone from weepy to trying to keep from laughing. "Then he comes over today and purposefully picked a fight and leaves before I can tell him how wrong he is." Buffy finished her rant and Willow couldn't help giggling.

"Are you sure you're being fair?" Willow said.

"Will…"

"Ok, sorry buy that was just the sweetest thing I've ever heard. How could you possibly be mad at him after that?"

"I'm not mad. I'm furious. I'm terribly, awfully furious."

"Why?"

"Because… because… I'm pregnant and what I say goes! Stop laughing at me! You call him. You call him and make him come over here and take his medicine and let me finish talking and be forced by my unassailable logic to admit I'm right!"

"I can't do that."

"You have to! Traitor! You're on his side…" it all became too much for her. She had been having a terrible day, and Xander had been mean to her and now Willow wasn't helping. She couldn't stop the hormones and burst into tears.

"Buffy!" Willow said, surprised at the sudden outburst. "It's ok! I'll make Xander come over right now."

"I just want to be alone!" Buffy was crying as Willow hung up the phone. She dialed and waited for Xander.

"Hello."

"What did you say to Buffy?"

"Who is this?"

"You know very well who this is! What did you say to Buffy?"

"All I did was not let her pick on me because she was in a bad mood. I left before we could fight."

"Well, you must feel like a big man, making a poor sensitive woman whose body is throwing her daily hormonal curveballs cry!"

"Wills…" Xander said in a slightly warning tone.

"Oh! Now you're trying to make me cry. It won't work, buster. You get moving and get over there right now!"

It finally dawned on him that Willow wasn't serious. "Ok, I'm going. Why was she crying?"

"I'm not sure. It may have just been a bad day. Have you guys been fighting?"

"Hard to explain. I'll tell you later."

A few minutes later, Xander walked into the house again without knocking. Buffy was sitting on the couch, still sniffling. He immediately moved towards her. "No," she said, pouting, "don't touch me. I hate you." He hesitated, unsure of what to do, until she actually gave him a brief, exasperated look and reached towards him. He stroked her back and her hair and made little cooing, comforting sounds.

He waited till she had been quiet for a while. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything." Xander replied with complete sincerity.

Buffy shook a little in a restrained laugh. "You have no idea what you're apologizing for, do you?"

"Not a clue. I do know I don't want you to be upset." He still held her.

"I burnt my arm," she said, showing him the mark.

"I'm sorry. Do you want me to get you something for it?" She shook her head no. Xander smiled. "Want me to kiss it better?"

"Yes." Buffy held her arm out. Very gently, so gently she might just have felt a breath of air, he kissed her arm. "Dawn was a bitch to me."

"That little cow! Want me to find her and beat her up? I'll fight a girl as long as it isn't you."

Buffy bit her lip to keep from smiling through her tears. "Ok… and you were mean to me."

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Promise?" Buffy said in a little girl voice.

"I promise." Xander replied.

"Promise promise?"

Xander laughed, "That, too."

Buffy purposefully cuddled closer to Xander. He held her for a long time. Finally, she said, "We do have to talk seriously."

"Go ahead."

"I'm scared."

"Of course you are. So am I"

"Not just about the baby. About us."

"There's a lot to be scared of," he said. "Neither of us have a great history."

"Nope."

He grinned ruefully. "I damn sure ain't a prize."

"Neither am I," she ruefully.

"We've both made mistakes," He lay his hand on her stomach. "This isn't one." They sat there for a time, till Xander said, "I don't want you to say anything right now, ok?" She nodded agreement. "I love you. I love our baby, and I love that I'm doing this with you." They rested in each other's arms for a long time.

Finally, Buffy stood up, took his hand and said, "I love our baby. I love that I'm doing this with you. I may love you, too, but it's hard for me. I'm willing to try."

"Good enough for me." Xander said.

She pulled him to his feet. "Let's go to bed."

After she helped deal with Willow, Xander had seen very little of Anya. The last time was at Tara's funeral. They had been polite. He knew that she was running the Magic Box again. He considered the relationship over. They had done too much. Best to just leave it, he thought. He did extend her the courtesy of sending word that she could take over the apartment they had shared. He was leaving all the furniture, all the things they had bought as a couple. His mind was elsewhere. He had made other arrangements.

Xander was in his old apartment moving his personal effects out when he next saw Anya. He was heading towards the door with a box in his hands when the door opened, and he was face to face with her. "I heard," she said. "I saw Willow at the shop. She was chattering about Buffy and you. Then I asked how far along Buffy was."

"Oh." Xander said, putting his box down.

"I wonder if you see the difference between what I did with Spike and what you did with Buffy?" She said quietly. "Beyond the fact that we weren't together when I… and we were when you cheated. The difference is that what I did was a reaction to you. I wanted to hurt you. Wrong, maybe but still..." A tear ran down her cheek. "What you did was all about you and her. Your fantasies and her selfishness. I was always afraid of being your consolation prize."

"Anya, I ..." Xander tried to speak, but couldn't. She was right about him.

"She'll hurt you, Xander. In the long run she will hurt you more than I ever could."

"Maybe."

"Certainly. That's her way, but that won't stop you. You've wanted it for too damn long. Tell me one thing will you please?" Xander nodded. "Was there ever a time where I was really what you wanted? More than her?"

"Of course."

"I don't believe you."

"That was our biggest problem."

Anya glared at him for a moment then she turned around and walked away from him, out of the apartment. "Leave your key when you're finished." Her voice wasn't harsh or angry it just tired. She walked away, leaving Xander to finish the work of physically separating their lives.

His car was packed to the gills, but he had managed to get everything in one load. He turned slowly and carefully onto the street where he now lived. The house came into sight, and he saw Dawn in the yard, looking younger than usual in cutoffs and a tee shirt that had a bunny on it. She waved at him and turned, saying something to someone just inside the door. Buffy came out, wearing a blue sundress, her hair highlighted in the sun, one hand rested lightly on her slightly swollen stomach, the other shading her eyes. When she saw him, she smiled and waved. Xander put Anya out of his mind. He would always remember her with fond regret, but his life was here now.

The house would be crowded with the four of them, once the baby came. Maybe he could add an extra room. He knew how after all. It would just take time, and time was something he hoped he would have plenty of. He got out and whistled loudly, pointing over his shoulder, "Dawnie, get to unloadin'. We ain't got all day." She stuck her tongue out at him, but still started looking for something light to carry.

He met Buffy halfway across the yard. "Daddy's home." He said, grinning.

"So he is.", Buffy replied. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Let's get this unloaded so the pregnant lady can get out of the sun." They started for the car.

"Hey, let's get Willow over here this evening. Dinner and TV and stuff. She shouldn't spend so much time alone." Xander said as they crossed the yard.

"Sure. Sounds fine." Buffy said.