Can we leave out the pretense?
I can tell when you're hurt, you try to edit it out
But it's never a burden
And you don't have to carry it by yourself
Let me help
'Cause the weight gets lifted
Up in the clouds, we can figure it out
Right now your faith is missing
So why don't we take a little time

'Til my heart just knows
When it's the real thing
When it's the real kind of trust
Yeah, my heart just knows
When it's the real you
When it's the real me and us
I don't be wanna alone at the end of the day
I need somebody to call, say that I'll be okay
'Til my heart just knows
My heart just knows

- "My Heart Just Knows" by SVRCINA

Just to let you know, I'm thinking of taking some time off from work to see my parents. Any chance I could take you up on that offer to get dinner?

Steve sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the text Sharon had sent sometime in the middle of the night. He was only half-awake, but already his heart began to rise above the clouds of gloom that had filled him ever since Bucky had gone back into solitary confinement. He couldn't stop the smile from spreading wider and wider as he responded, Absolutely! When works best for you?

But as the day progressed and Steve had more time to think in between taking care of Jake, he began to feel increasingly nervous. He probably sounded perfectly calm in the texts he and Sharon passed back and forth as they worked out the details, but inside he was just a mess of nerves. Finally, when Jake went down for his nap, Steve caved in. He pulled out his phone and called Natasha.

"Hey, Nat," he said when she picked up. "Sorry to call you with no warning like this, but I need your help."

"What is it?" Natasha said briskly. "Hydra? No, don't tell me over the phone; you can fill me in when we rendezvous."

"What? No, not that kind of help. I just need some advice about...I-I have a date, that's all."

Natasha let out a huge sigh. "Don't scare me like that, Steve! Calling me out of the blue and asking for help, way to give me a heart attack..."

"Sorry," Steve said, wincing as he imagined her punching him in the arm. "Thanks for the offer, though. To...drop everything at a moment's notice like that..."

"Of course." He could hear the smile in her voice. "Now, what's this about a date?"

"It's Sharon—"

"Obviously."

"—and I don't really have a lot of experience in this area..."

"Through no fault of mine, might I add."

"Yeah, thanks," Steve said, rolling his eyes. "I just want to make sure I'm...doing it right."

"Well, what have you got in mind?"

"Um...dinner?"

"Okay, you'll want someplace kind of fancy. Something that will impress her."

Steve ran several of the restaurants he'd been thinking of past her. Natasha helped him narrow his choices down, until he finally settled on an upscale Italian place. "What about flowers?" he asked.

"Well, it's a bit old-fashioned," Natasha said thoughtfully. "But then, she probably likes old-fashioned stuff, if she's into you."

"Ha ha."

"You're going to pick her up, right?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm...yeah, you could bring her flowers if you want. Just not roses; that's for when things get more serious. You don't want to look too desperate."

Steve sighed. "It's all so complicated. I just don't want to make a fool of myself..."

"Hey, relax," Natasha said with a confidence Steve envied. "She said yes, right? That means she's interested. Just be yourself, and you'll do fine."

Steve wasn't quite so sure of that, but he tried to keep his nerves under control as he made his preparations for the big day. At random points for the next several days, his heart would do a somersault as he remembered that he had a date. It was a pleasant thought...but also a terrifying one.

Finally, the evening he'd been anticipating arrived. He made sure his shoes were shined and his tie was straight, then headed to the kitchen to see if Sam and Jake were all set for the evening.

As soon as he caught sight of Steve, Sam grinned widely and turned from the vegetables he was chopping up at the counter. "Ready to knock 'em dead, lover-boy?"

"Don't call me that."

"Oh, my bad. Ready to be boring and unromantic?"

"You're hilarious," Steve said flatly. "You've missed your true calling as a stand-up comedian."

"What, and give up this sweet gig?" He gestured at the counter, filled with the ingredients for what looked like vegetable stew. "Whoa there, kiddo, let Uncle Sam take care of chopping up the veggies, okay?"

Steve's gaze flicked over to Jake, who was standing on a chair at the counter to help. He had picked up the knife Sam had set down, as if to continue chopping up the celery. As Sam took the knife back to finish the job, Jake peered around him at Steve, taking in his altered appearance with wide eyes.

"Be a good boy for me, okay, buddy?" Steve said with a smile. "Uncle Sam will help you get ready for bed tonight. Daddy won't be back till after you're asleep."

"Should I wait up for you?" Sam asked. "Or will you be...going back to her place?" He waggled his eyebrows meaningfully.

Heat sprang into Steve's cheeks immediately. "What...no, we're not..." A sudden thought occurred to him that made his stomach squirm. "She wouldn't be...expecting that, would she?"

Sam shrugged ever so casually, his grin declaring that he was thoroughly enjoying himself. "Probably not, but you know how these things go...one thing leads to another..."

"I'll see you later," Steve said pointedly, turning on his heel and ignoring Sam's laughter as he marched for the door.

Once he was in the empty hallway, the blush began to fade. But as his embarrassment receded, another thought occurred to him that made his footsteps slow on the stairs. I doubt she's expecting anything more than dinner tonight...but what about later? What if we keep seeing each other? What if this actually works out, and months from now...

But he was getting ahead of himself. Right? There was no guarantee that she would be interested in him a week from now, let alone long enough to want to take the next step.

But what if she is? he demanded silently as he crossed the lobby, fishing in his pocket for his keys. What if we do get to that point someday? And then, when she's ready to move forward, I'd have to tell her that I can't...that it's not safe for me to...

No. Best to tell her now.

Steve paused with his hand on the front door and let out a heavy sigh. It was the last thing he wanted to think about on a night like this, but...it had to be done sooner rather than later. Just to make sure all expectations were clear between them.

Hopefully, Sharon wouldn't dump him on the spot.

You're being silly, Sharon told herself when she booked the flight.

Very silly, she admonished herself as she boarded the plane and settled back for the eleven-hour flight to New York.

Like a little schoolgirl, she scolded herself as she hugged Leyla and listened to her chatter all the way home.

He's probably not even that interested, she thought as she slid under the covers that night, exhausted from a very long day of travel. Okay, yeah, he gave me his number and everything...but it's not going to work anyway. I can't just fly halfway around the world every time we want to go on a date. I'll run out of vacation days before too long. And maybe he mentioned dinner last time just to be polite, and now I've made it awkward...

Besides, she thought with a sigh as she rolled onto her side and closed her eyes, he's Steve Rogers. Way out of my league. Best not to get my hopes up.

But that didn't stop her from grinning stupidly to herself when she woke up the next morning and remembered that she had a date that night. Nor did it keep her from taking extra care getting ready that evening, making sure she looked her absolute best.

Leyla greeted her with a loud whistle when she finally headed downstairs. Sitting cross-legged on the couch, Leyla was typing away on her laptop, but she closed it to look Sharon up and down. "You didn't say it was a hot date."

Sharon rolled her eyes, heading over to peek through the blinds and see if Steve was there yet. "It's not a hot date. We're just getting dinner."

"Mmm, your man might have something to say about that once he sees you..."

Grimacing, Sharon tugged at the skirt of her navy-blue dress, which was a bit more snug than she remembered it being. "Think it's too much? It's been years since I've worn it..." Or since I've gone on more than one date with anyone, she added silently to herself.

Leyla waved her worries aside with a flamboyant flourish. "Dahling, you look simply ravishing. As always."

Sharon curtseyed as extravagantly as she could with such a tight skirt.

"But who is this mysterious guy, anyway?" Leyla demanded, crossing her arms petulantly. "You haven't told me anything about him! Keeping secrets from your best friend—I'm hurt!" She stuck her bottom lip out and gave Sharon her best puppy-dog eyes.

With a smile, Sharon parted the blinds again to check the street. "I'm not keeping secrets. It's just not that serious."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire. You flew all the way from Berlin just to go to a fancy Italian restaurant with some guy you're 'not that serious' about? Hogwash! Poppycock! Balderdash!"

"Okay, okay!" Sharon laughed. "So...I like him. I just...want to take it slow. You know?"

Leyla looked into her eyes for a long moment, then huffed out a sigh of resignation as she reached for her laptop again. "Fair enough. But at least tell me his name."

Sharon could feel her cheeks turning red, but she tried to play it cool. "Steve."

Dropping the laptop back onto the couch, Leyla groaned and kicked her heels against the carpet. "Oh, come on! That's like the most common, boring name ever! At least gimme his last name too so I can Facebook stalk him for you!"

Unable to restrain a giggle, Sharon said, "Well, I'm not sure he has a Facebook, but you'd probably be better off looking in a history book anyway..."

Just then, the doorbell rang. Sharon turned from Leyla's look of confusion and hurried to open the front door. Her stomach made a giddy somersault, and then...

There he was, standing on the threshold, dressed in a blue suit that drew out the color of his eyes. He held a bouquet of flowers—daisies, and some other cheerfully-colored flowers Sharon didn't know the names of.

Steve opened his mouth, but for a moment he didn't seem to know what to say. "Wow," he finally breathed. "I mean, um...hi."

"Hi," Sharon said, the butterflies fluttering in her stomach threatening to swarm up her throat and make all her words flap around uselessly. She said the first thing that popped into her mind: "We match."

Steve glanced between his dark blue suit and her dress. "Oh, yeah." Suddenly, he seemed to remember the flowers in his hand. "Um, these are for you."

"Thank you." Sharon took the bouquet and breathed in the heady perfume of the flowers. "They're beautiful."

"So are you going to introduce me to..." Leyla trailed off when she poked her head around the door and saw who was standing on her welcome mat.

Struggling to keep from bursting into laughter, Sharon said, "Leyla Tailor, meet Steve Rogers."

"Nice to meet you," Steve said with a polite smile, holding out his hand.

Leyla shook his hand, but the only sound she seemed able to make was a dazed squeak.

"Here, could you find a vase to put these in?" She handed the bouquet to Leyla with an innocent smile.

Leyla mouthed some kind of incredulous question from behind the flowers. Sharon had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud.

"You ready to go?" Steve asked. He stepped aside and even held out his arm, as if he were escorting her to the ball.

"Yes, I'm ready." She took his arm and tried to move elegantly as he escorted her to his waiting car. He opened the door for her and everything. Every gesture was so endearingly old-fashioned...but then, why had she expected anything else?

The ride to the restaurant seemed to take forever. They didn't say much beyond a little bit of small talk, and the silence felt awkward. What had happened to the easy conversation of the last couple times they'd seen each other?

Every time Steve glanced over at Sharon, knowing that he should probably say something, he found himself tongue-tied. She was just so...pretty. She wore a navy-blue dress that left one shoulder bare, and she had pulled her hair up into a bun, leaving two strands to frame her face in gentle waves. Pearls hung around her neck and dangled from her ears.

And she was so calm. She just sat there, obviously not nervous or embarrassed in the slightest, while he practically squirmed in his skin, hoping against hope that she would still be speaking to him when the night was over.

It was an immense relief when they finally reached the restaurant. At least then there was something for them to do, something to look at other than each other. The entryway was lined with pillars, and there was a mosaic pattern of red and gold on the floor, almost like a red carpet showing the way. Tinkly piano music played softly in the background as they were led through a maze of small, round tables covered with pristine white cloths and sparkling crystal. Glittering chandeliers hung from the ceiling, and the walls were decorated with paintings and small statues that seemed to be replicas of famous Italian works of art. Steve recognized a few as they passed them.

Maybe he'd overdone it, taking Sharon to this place? But Natasha had told him to go somewhere that would impress her...

When the waiter had shown them to their table and handed them each a menu, the awkward silence descended upon them again. Growing up, Steve could hardly even dream of affording to go somewhere as fancy as this, so maybe it was just that he felt completely out of his element. But once they both put their menus down, he would have to think of something to say...

Steve glanced over the top of his menu, only to find Sharon peeking over hers as well. Their eyes met, and they both burst into laughter.

"Sorry, this is awkward, isn't it?" he asked, setting his menu down.

"I don't know why I'm so nervous," Sharon giggled, lowering her menu at the same time. "It's not like this is our first date or anything."

Steve blinked in surprise. "What? Yes, it is!"

Sharon cocked her head to one side. "What about that time in London? Or when we went out for drinks last time I was in town?"

"Those times don't count!"

"They totally count!"

"Not officially."

"You gave me your number and asked me out," Sharon laughed. "How can you get more official than that?"

Steve was spared from answering by the waiter stopping at their table to take their orders. When he left them alone, the strange awkwardness was finally gone between them.

"I should've asked you this earlier," Steve said, "but do you feel...strange? Going out with me?"

"What do you mean?"

Steve shrugged, unable to hold back a sheepish grin. "Well...I turn 98 in a few weeks, you know..."

Sharon smirked. "I think I would be more weirded out if you were pursuing someone who was actually your age. Because of your situation, it's going to be a little weird no matter what you do. So why not just embrace it?"

Steve smiled, his heart lifting as he looked into her dark eyes sparkling with humor. He dared to hope again.

With the ice broken, conversation flowed easily during the rest of the meal. Steve talked a bit about the move and how Jake and Bucky were doing, but he made sure to give Sharon plenty of time to talk about herself for once. Obviously, she couldn't say much about the details of her work, but she had plenty of interesting stories about places she'd been in Europe and people she'd met there, like the funny old man she frequently saw at the bus stop in Berlin, who seemed convinced that she was his granddaughter and kept on asking her when her German had gotten so horrible.

Steve told the story of the time he ran into Senator Brandt after missing his own Medal of Honor ceremony and, in his embarrassment, slammed into a bookcase and ended up dumping a pile of books on the senator's head. Sharon told him about the helicopter extraction incident where the pilot was struggling to land because of the strong gusts of wind, and followed her and her team around attempting to land on them while they ran away to avoid being squashed by the helicopter.

They were laughing so hard they were starting to attract strange looks, so they tried to reel it in a bit over dessert. As they dug into their gelato, Steve asked, "So, you're visiting your parents this weekend, right? Where do they live?"

"Virginia," Sharon said, nibbling on the little wafer cookie stuck in her gelato. "Just outside of D.C. We're doing a sort of combination Mother's Day-Father's Day thing and throwing in all the spring birthdays too; it's a bit hard for us to all get together. But my sister just had her second son, so I figured I should come meet my new nephew."

"You didn't tell me you had a sister."

Sharon arched an eyebrow. "Well, you didn't ask."

"Older sister? Younger?"

"Older. Maggie's four years older than me. And yes," she added when she saw him take note of the name, "'Maggie' as in 'Margaret.' Trust me, I was super jealous of her when we were growing up. Why did I have to be named after the great-aunt who was married to a preacher in Ohio?"

Steve chuckled. "So, did Maggie join S.H.I.E.L.D. too?"

"No, she's actually a social worker. She mostly helps foster parents go through the adoption process. Maggie and Jun have two boys of their own, but they're trying to adopt this girl from China who's paralyzed from the waist down. And she's so cute, here, Maggie sent me pictures..."

As Steve listened to Sharon talk about her family, his heart began to sink. He was interested in learning more about her, but all this discussion of family made him think about his family. Which reminded him of the subject he still needed to raise, no matter how little he wanted to talk about it. Ever.

"You okay? Something wrong with your gelato?"

Steve suddenly realized he'd been staring at the melting remains of mint and chocolate at the bottom of his fancy bowl. He looked up, but when his eyes met Sharon's, he wanted to duck under the tablecloth and sink through the floor. Instead, he pushed his bowl to the side and clasped his hands on the table. "Sharon...there's something we have to talk about."

Sharon pushed her empty bowl aside too and looked at him with concern. "Okay."

Steve opened his mouth, but couldn't find the words while looking into her curious brown eyes. So he dropped his gaze to his clasped hands and spoke to the table instead. "Do you remember when I told you...about Project Legacy?"

"Of course. What about it?"

He licked lips that had suddenly gone dry. "Do you remember what I said about the experiments Hydra did before they made the other Winter Soldiers? The women they used to try to make a...breeding program?" Thinking about it again made him wish he hadn't eaten so much.

"Yes," Sharon said softly. "Those women...didn't make it, did they?"

Steve shook his head. "They were all pregnant with enhanced fetuses, but they all died...because the women were not enhanced."

He made the mistake of glancing up at her. She didn't say anything, but he could tell she was beginning to see where he was going with this.

Heat blazed in his cheeks as he dropped his gaze again. "I-I'm not saying we're...at that point yet. We...We haven't known each other very long, so I certainly wouldn't expect...I mean, I'm...I like you. I like you a lot, and I hope, I mean, I-I wish..." He bit his lip to stop his stammering, drew a deep breath, then finally blurted out what he'd been trying to say all along. "I can never sleep with you."

When he looked up again, Sharon's face was bright red. His own cheeks blazed hotter than ever.

"I'm sorry, but I...I just can't," he said, desperately hoping she would understand. "Not with you, not with anyone else. I refuse to risk any more unenhanced women getting pregnant and dying. Not because of me." He drew a deep breath and then said with a heavy heart, "I know we're not there yet, but we can never let it get that far. I don't want to...lead you on, or give you false impressions or anything. So I wanted to make sure you knew where things stand. And...that being the case...maybe it's best if we—"

"Steve." Sharon reached across the table and covered his clasped hands with one of hers. Her cheeks were still tinged with pink, but she held his gaze steadily. "If you're going to suggest we stop seeing each other, and this is the only reason...don't."

The warmth of her hand on his was enough to take his breath away, and he struggled to get any words out. "But...that's hardly fair to you..."

Sharon cocked her head to one side with a bit of a smirk. "What, you telling me up front about something you're unwilling to do because you want to keep me safe? Sounds perfectly fair to me."

He stared at her, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. "Are you...really sure you're okay with this?"

"Yes."

Steve turned his hand over to grasp hers, his heart thudding against his ribcage. "Sharon...has anyone ever told you that you're amazing?"

She smiled sweetly. "Not today."

Sharon had a lot to think about, and Steve seemed to realize this, so the drive back to Leyla's house was quiet. She didn't think the silence was as awkward as it had been at the beginning of the date, though. They'd only been gone for a couple hours, but she felt they had both gotten to know each other a lot better in that time. And she had a better idea now what had been bothering Steve so much earlier in the evening. Now that he'd said his piece, he seemed relieved. Embarrassed, but relieved.

Thinking back over the evening, Sharon had to resist the urge to pinch herself. It was still hard to believe that she'd just gone on a date with Steve Rogers, the hero of her bedtime stories growing up. And she could distinctly remember one time in middle school when all of her friends were discussing which of the Howling Commandos they would want to marry. I wouldn't marry any of them! she had proudly declared. I would join them and fight Nazis at Captain America's side!

Here she was now, sitting next to Steve after a dinner in a fancy restaurant, having held his hand while he apologized for never being able to sleep with her. As if that had ever occurred to her as something in the realm of possibility. She was grateful for the darkness to hide the blush that still came to her cheeks every time she remembered that part of the conversation.

Steve was so...honest. So up front about everything. On each of their dates (and yes, Steve, those other times definitely counted), Steve had opened up about something so private and personal. Maybe someone else would have said he was oversharing, but Sharon just felt honored that he trusted her enough to be that vulnerable.

And everything about their conversation, from the questions about her family to the awkward discussion at the end, indicated to her that Steve was looking ahead to the future. That he wasn't just thinking about having a good time with her now, but was also considering whether this relationship would work in the long term.

The thought made her heart skip a beat and her breath catch, but she sternly tried to rein in her emotions. She would see how things developed before she got too excited. But still, she said to herself as Steve turned onto Leyla's street, he's pretty incredible.

Steve sighed as he pulled up in front of Leyla's house. "Sorry, this was probably the worst date you've ever been on."

Sharon blinked in surprise. Clearly, his thoughts hadn't been running along the same lines as hers. "I wouldn't say that."

Even in the dark, she could see his incredulous expression. "Really?"

Though the memory that sprang to the forefront of her mind was one of the worst nights of her life, Sharon couldn't keep back a little smirk. "How about the time I confronted my ex about cheating on me...on our anniversary?"

Steve winced. "Ouch."

"My standards are pretty low when it comes to 'worst date ever.' This didn't even come close."

A slow grin spread across Steve's face, then he hopped out and opened her door for her. Ever the old-fashioned gentleman.

They stood on the sidewalk, and for a moment neither of them seemed to know what to do. Sharon cleared her throat and said, "I'm spending a couple days in Virginia with my family, but...I might have some time after that, before I have to go back to Berlin."

Steve visibly brightened. "Would you...want to get together again?"

"I'd love to."

"Great! Then, um...goodnight."

For a moment, Sharon thought he was going to hug her or something, but then he seemed to change his mind and walked back to his car.

Sharon waved as he pulled away, then headed up the walk to the front door. She wanted to skip, but that would probably mean tripping over her heels in the dark, so she decided to walk up the steps like a normal person. She let herself in and immediately slipped out of her shoes with a sigh of relief. The house was dark, so she fumbled towards the stairs by feel.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

A single lamp in the living room clicked on. A swivel chair slowly turned, revealing a figure shrouded in darkness, ominously petting the cat in its lap.

Sharon burst into laughter at the sight of Leyla, who was wrapped in a blanket from head to toe.

"Try to keep your secrets all you want," Leyla said, steepling her fingers. "But I have ways of making you talk. Sic 'em, Simon!"

The fat grey cat meowed, stretched luxuriously, and dropped to the floor. He calmly trotted over to Sharon and twined around her ankles, purring loudly. Sharon bent down to greet Simon with a scratch behind his ears. "Did you seriously sit there in the dark, waiting for me to get home?"

"What do you take me for?" Leyla asked, sounding offended. "I have a life, you know! I spent an hour researching the legal punishment for friends who are chronic liars and don't tell you they're dating Steve Freaking Rogers!"

"This is going to be a long conversation, isn't it?" Sharon asked, flipping on another lamp and dropping onto the couch next to Leyla's chair, getting comfortable.

Leyla pulled her legs up onto her chair and leaned forward with her chin cupped in her hands, like they were at a slumber party and Sharon was about to tell a ghost story. "Okay, Sharon, gimme the deets."

"What do you want to know?" Sharon chuckled.

"Everything."

He brought me to the banqueting house,
and his banner over me was love.

- Song of Solomon 2:4