Penelope heard the commotion in the bullpen from behind her closed office door, and she frowned as she got to her feet and slipped out to see that Erin was arguing with Derek, giving him heated looks that spoke of just how angry she was. Emily looked like she was ready to jump in and strangle her friend when Erin pulled out her cellphone and shoved it into Derek's chest, pointing at it angrily. "That is the man that you deemed fit to release back into society! He wasn't out of prison even thirty six hours before he murdered again! Do you even realise the magnitude of this error in judgement, and how much cleanup work that I am going to have to do as a result?"
"Erin…"
"Do not Erin me, David." Penelope saw a little smirk flash across Emily's face before it was replaced with the same furious expression. "You all are damned lucky that I am very good at politics and still well connected, as I am going to have to use all my resources to draw the heat off of us."
"No offense, Ms. Strauss –"
"Chief Strauss," she bit out, her eyes narrowing as she glared at Derek.
"Sorry, Chief Strauss, no offense, but I had no way of knowing that this is what Sanderson would do after I recommended to the parole board that he appeared to have been reformed by his time in prison. He did twenty five years, after all."
"That is a very short time compared to the fact that he slaughtered his wife and daughter, and I think that you know more than you're letting on. Now, before this gets too far out of hand, I need your team to figure out what went wrong here, and see how it can be prevented in the future." Before anyone else could say another word, Erin snatched her phone back and stalked out of the bullpen, the others gawping after her. Only Penelope seemed to know that the anger that Erin had just displayed was most likely enhanced by her little problem, and she wanted to get to her office and try to talk her down off the ledge before things spiraled even further out of control.
As soon as it appeared as if the others were going to head out and do as Erin asked, she scurried down the stairs and out into the hallway, checking to see if anyone was watching where she was headed before she went to Erin's office. Helen was typing furiously at her keyboard, her cheeks suspiciously wet, and she went over to the woman, reaching out to touch her shoulder lightly. "It's a bad morning, Penelope. Don't go in there if you think that you're going to magically fix everything."
"I have to at least try. How much…"
"Too much, and ever since the Director gave her the news about Sanderson." Helen looked up at Penelope, giving her a tight smile. "Something is going to give, and I don't know what it will be, but I'm not going to leave her side."
"Well, that makes two of us, and between us, we'll take care of her."
"Tread lightly, you're getting a little too close to the flame."
"You're not the first person to tell me that," she muttered as she stepped away from Helen and went over to the inner office door, her hand hesitating on the knob. "You have to make certain that she's okay," she whispered to herself as she forced herself to open the door and enter, finding the atmosphere heavily oppressive.
"Close the door, Penelope."
Erin's voice had lost a lot of the ire that had been present in the bullpen, and she nodded as she did as told before looking around the room for her friend. Erin was seated on her sofa, a folder open on her lap, and Penelope made her way over to her side, cautiously taking a seat as she thought of what to say. "You've been drinking already?" she asked, rather than stated, knowing that it was the safer option in that moment.
"When you get raked over the coals as I was at seven in the morning, you would do the same," Erin replied, her words prickly and defensive. "Or are you too sainted to make choices like that?"
"I know that this is your addiction talking with me right now, and so I'm not going to respond harshly to that barb. We both know that I am far from perfect, and that was not why I was asking you that. Erin?"
The woman lifted her face and stared at Penelope, a mulish, frustrated, expression on her face. "What? Are you going to tell Dawn that I've been drinking at work again, and have my time with the children even further restricted? Has that been the plan all along? To get close to me, to soften me towards you, only for you to be collaborating with Alan behind my back in order to destroy everything in my life?"
Penelope had to take a few deep breaths in order to not snipe back at Erin, knowing that she was drunk. This was the worst that she had ever seen the woman, even after the night she had spent in her bedroom, and her heart broke for the knowledge that Erin truly did expect everyone that she cared for to betray her in the end. And given how Alan had treated her, she didn't blame Erin for this fear. So she did the only thing that she could think of in that moment and turned awkwardly on the sofa so that her entire body was facing Erin before she reached out and swiped the folder off her lap. Picking up her hand, Penelope clenched it tightly as she stared at Erin. "I know that you're furious about what's happened on this case, and that you're drunk right now, which is allowing your crueler side to come out in order to protect your hurting heart. I also react from anger when I'm trying to protect myself, and so I am desperately trying to hold on to that knowledge as we're in this space. And I would never betray you to Alan. Not only would that destroy you, but it would hurt your children immensely. What happened to the idea that you trusted me, which is why I am even allowed to interact with them in the first place?"
Penelope refused to take her eyes off Erin's face as she waited for a reply, any reply. There were several long, agonizing, seconds that felt like minutes before Erin's face fell and the tears started to fall down her cheeks. Still, Penelope didn't move, wanting Erin to take the lead, to feel comfortable with whatever happened next. She wasn't expecting Erin to lean in and rest her forehead against Penelope's as the first broken sob broke from her lips, and that opened the floodgates on her own tears as she let go of Erin's hand in order to close her arms around the woman's waist and hold her close as Erin let her anger and sorrow out. "I know, I fucked up."
"You made a mistake, we all make them, it's just that this one has more repercussions if it's found out by anyone but me. I will hold your secret close to my heart because I don't want you to lose what little connection you have to your children. But I do think that I want you to do something for me. Please."
"What?" Erin whispered as she moved her head so that she could bury her face in Penelope's hair, which allowed her to listen to the choppy sound of her breathing.
"I want you to think about getting a therapist. I love being your friend, I love you, but I am not trained to help you appropriately, and I feel like I'm failing you by allowing you to flounder like this. I know, you probably don't like that idea, since you're such a private person, but therapists are bound by law to keep everything private. Please?"
Erin drew in a long, shaky, breath as she hesitantly encircled Penelope's waist with her arms. "I don't know if I can find someone who listens to me like you do."
"We could search for one together. I have connections, and while I wouldn't mention you by name, I could give a basic sketch of you and what you're looking for in a therapist. Then you could interview the shortlist I curate, and go from there. I just want you to be safe, and I don't think that you are right now." Penelope reached up to rub Erin's back as she fell quiet, wanting the woman to think about what she had said. She truly cared for her friend and knew that she needed more help than Penelope could provide.
"If you really want to look for someone who can help me, I won't say no. I just don't know how I can keep this knowledge from Alan, and I know that he'll use therapy against me in the custody battle. What if getting better loses me my children?"
"And yet, what if getting better then leads to you getting full custody of the children? Sometimes you need to go through the bad in order to reach the best. I had to hit rock bottom before finding love with Aaron and this sweet friendship between us. And now I get to share my good fortune with you."
Those words seemed to have a negative effect on Erin, as she began to cry hard once more, her face turning towards Penelope's neck so that she could feel the tears and breaths against her skin. Not knowing what to say in that moment, she instead gathered her close and held on to her, letting her cry everything out and hoping that she could help Erin out in some small way.