Chapter 2 – Time to Go Home

Four Years Later

She grabbed the glasses off the counter with her hand and wiped the spilled milk with her other. Her usual wavy hair was tossed into a haphazard bun and she had a white tee with the Avengers covered in red stains.

"Did you commit a murder?"

She dropped the glasses into the sink with a jump and turned to see her roommate holding a white paper bag and his keys.

"Zay you gave me a heart attack." She mumbled and checked to see if she broke anything.

"Sorry, I went and got some doughnuts and coffee before you guys woke up, did I wake you?" He asked as he placed the bag on the table.

She reached into the bag and pulled out a chocolate glazed donut with rainbow sprinkles. She tore a piece from it and shoved it into her mouth. Her head shook as she tried to reassure that he didn't.

"I couldn't sleep … have you talked to anyone from back home?" She asked.

Her voice trembled and he picked up on the hesitation and avoided her brown eyes. He knew one look in her chocolate eyes and he would cave automatically so instead she looked at the refrigerator door. Construction paper in various colors covered its entirety and he could see the scrawls of crayons made faces.

"Zay?" She pushed.

"Yes." He whispered and she knew it was an answer and a question.

"Fuck." She mumbled and he turned to her.

Brown eyes welled with tears threatening to spill and her small frame trembled. Engulfed in his arms she let go of all her emotions and cried. Her tears pelted his skin as she tried to silent the sobs from her lips. They had to be careful, they couldn't come undone … not in front of her.

"Riles, please … please … please stop."

Her sobs softened and his eyes met hers.

"I have to get ready, don't I?"

Zay nodded and wiped away the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. His palm held her face for a moment before he pulled away and stood up. He began cleaning up the mess she had started to do and grabbed a plate from the cabinet.

"Zay what if … what if they find out?" She questioned.

"We will try our best to keep it a secret but you can't hide it, Riles, how is it fair, to you, to us, to our friends?" Zay said and faced her.

Before Riley could speak they heard the patter of small feet running towards them and they placed false smiles on their faces.

"Mommy! Uncle Zay!"

Riley looked down to see a small brunette holding a teddy bear with piercing green eyes. She was dressed in a bright pink satin nightgown with and smiled at the two that displayed her missing tooth.

"Izzy!" Zay announced and opened the white paper bag. He pulled out a small white powdered donut with sprinkles and presented it to her.

"For you princess." He said in a mocking voice and she giggled. Her small fingers grabbed the treat before running around him towards the living room. They could hear the television turn on when the voices from SpongeBob began.

"I'll pack if you need me too but maybe you should call your mom. Find out everything, talk about stuff, but we are leaving today Riles." Zay said as Riley stared at the counter with no emotion.

"I will protect you, I will protect Isabella, I will protect all of this if it is truly what you want but Riles … we need to go, we need to go back to New York, tonight. If we don't … you will regret it for the rest of your life. You need to say your goodbyes." Zay said and grabbed her by the shoulders.

He placed his head in the crook of her neck and she began to tremble once again. His hands found the small of her back and pushed her closer to him.

"I am here. Always." Zay whispered and pulled away from her. Riley kept her gaze at the counter and Zay turned away to walk towards the bedrooms.

"Thank you." She croaked and he gave her a smile before disappearing down the hall.

"Mommy, why are we here?" Isabella asked as Riley directed her down the busy street. Zay was taking out the bags from the back of the cab quickly as he could before anyone saw them.

"We came to see Nana, won't that be fun?" Riley asked as Isabella scrunched her nose up in disgust by the number of others.

Riley tried her best not to giggle at her daughter's face but this was the first time the trio had traveled back to New York in something other than a car. Although the ride from Philadelphia on the bus was long it wasn't as bad as the two adults anticipated. Isabella had napped most of the way and when she awoke, her tiny fingers found YouTube to watch other kids play with toys.

"Riles! Izzy!" Zay called as he caught up with the two.

He led them towards Riley's old brownstone two steps at a time and tried his best to hide his discomfort. However, Riley knew what he was feeling because she had felt it as well. Sure they visited the Matthews before during the holidays, once a year, in secret because no one could find out about Isabella. Not one soul that wasn't blood to Riley because if anyone found out if he found out, everything would change.

"Mommy, why do we have to play the hiding game?" Isabella asked as Riley directed her down the long hallway. The two adults didn't answer the girl but instead was met with a familiar door, one that locked holiday decorations, a simple brown door.

"I think I have my keys," Riley mumbled as she searched her bag and found her old set of keys.

She opened the door and could hear the silence, it was deafening. It consumed the air and Riley trembled as she walked into the tense apartment. Things were shifted, the kitchen was upgraded, and the living room now had bookshelves with new furniture. Photos were the only thing the same. Riley and her friends growing up, graduation, family photos, but none of Isabella because … well, she didn't exist beyond Philadelphia.

"Mom?" Riley called as Zay placed their bags by the door.

Riley could hear thunderous footsteps running and she saw her younger brother much bigger.

"Augs!"

"Riley! Are you really here? Mom is going to be so happy you came. We really needed you here Riles." Auggie said and engulfed his sister into a tight hug.

"Auggie!" Isabella squealed as he bent down to pick up the small girl.

"Auggie what did I say about-" Topanga stopped midsentence when she saw the four in a humorous talk.

"Hey Mom," Riley said and Topanga began to cry.

She scooped Riley into her arms and collapsed into a sob. Riley nodded for Auggie to take Isabella away so she wouldn't see her grandmother cry. Riley directed her mother to the couch and held her hands into her own. She had never seen her mother cry like this well not since Riley announced she was going to hide in Philadelphia. The pain in Topanga's eyes mimicked that day and Riley knew it was bad.

"How is he?" Riley asked as she caressed her mother's hands.

"Not well, they don't think he will last long. I am so glad you came honey, not about the circumstances, but to have you here, and Izzy and Zay!" Topanga said as Zay smiled at her. He sat on the other side of her and rubbed her back.

"Whatever you need Mrs. Matthews, we are here to help, should we go to the hospital to see him or … is that too soon?" Zay asked Topanga but his eyes stared into Riley's.

She knew what he was saying, was it too soon for her to be venturing beyond the apartment in New York. Every time they ventured into the city she had hidden in these walls, scared, anxious, always in a panic.

"I should see him right?" Riley questioned as Topanga smoothed her hair back.

"Yes sweetie, you should Augie can stay with Izzy, you and Zay should go, but you should know I told … the others, they might be there." Topanga mused and Riley bit her lip.

"Will he … I mean did you? I mean it wasn't like he was a big part?" Riley fumbled over her words and Topanga sighed.

"I told Maya and Farkle, but it's safe to assume that he may know as well," Topanga said.

Riley looked down at her feet and berated herself for her misstep. Of course, he would know, the two had grown close during her time with him. They had practically become family, and Riley knew her disappearing act put a strain on their relationship. She had, unfortunately, became the strife between the two.

"Let's go," Topanga whispered and pulled Riley to her feet.

The walk to the hospital was filled with small talk, mostly from Zay, updating Topanga on Isabella. Topanga tried catching Riley's eyes to get a sense of her emotion but she kept it on the cold concrete. Her anxiety had risen to an all-time high when they reached the hospital. Every step she took felt heavier than the first, but she knew she couldn't run away. Goodbyes were too important.

"Hey, you alright?" Zay whispered as they huddled into an elevator.

"What if he dies?" Riley asked and Zay took a slow to exhale.

"Riles-"

"I don't know what to do Zay, no one has ever died in my family, especially not my … my …"

Riley couldn't finish her sentence but they had reached their floor. Topanga strolled in front of them with a head held high and met the faces of sympathy. Riley cringed at the second-hand sadness and snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a familiar voice.

"Riley?"

Riley's ears perked up and her father stood in the doorway with bloodshot red eyes and holding a small stack of papers.

"Dad?

Cory walked over to the brunette and engulfed her in a tight hug.

"You came back?" He asked.

"Of course Dad, I had to see Josh, I had to see him, and I needed to see him," Riley mumbled and began to cry in her father's arms. Zay reached for Topanga's hand as she began to cry as well.

"Riley maybe you should go home," Cory said as he pushed her back slightly.

"What why?" Riley questioned and she could see the panic in her father's eyes.

He was here, he was nearby, he knew? Riley's mind began to race but it didn't matter because she heard another voice, one that brought her back to her childhood, a voice, that held anguish, a voice that knew her better than she knew herself at one point.

"Riles?"

Riley turned around to meet the eyes of her old best friend, Farkle Minkus.