A/N: Trigger Warning Death is Mentioned

Riley woke up and groaned before she looked at her phone. It was almost eleven, she hadn't slept like that since Isabella was a toddler. She jumped out of bed when she didn't see her in bed. Riley ran into the kitchen and saw Isabella sitting at the table coloring with Zay.

"Morning mommy" Isabella greeted.

Zay looked as bad as she felt, he gave her a struggling smile. Riley's nerves calmed down and she sat next to Zay covering her face with her hands.

"What's wrong?" Isabella asked as she picked up a blue crayon.

"Mommy and Uncle Zay had adult juice and it's hurting our tummy," Riley said as she stifled a yawn.

"Eww," Isabella said.

"Princess, can you give mommy and me a minute?" Zay asked.

"I can't tell time," Isabella complained.

"Why don't you go play on my phone,"

Before Riley could finish Isabella ran off in search of her phone. The two chuckled and Riley turned to Zay.

"Hi," Riley groaned.

"I had sex with someone last night," Zay confessed.

Riley's smile fell and she sat up. Her head was swirling still from the drinks from last night. She didn't hear him correctly. He did not say that she definitely heard him say something else, anything else.

"I was so angry, I was so angry at what Lucas said, I was so angry watching him compliment you, I was so angry that you liked it," Zay whispered and reached for her hand.

Riley moved her hand from the table and into her lap. They weren't together, he could be with whoever he wanted. She had no right to be upset! Right?

"I'm late seeing Josh, my mom will be home by noon, she can take Izzy off your hands" Riley mumbled getting up from the table.

Zay grabbed her hands and looked at her with pleading eyes.

"I'm sorry," Zay said.

"Don't be, we're not together," Riley said and pulled away from him.

As soon as she closed her bedroom door, she began to cry softly and hated herself for it. They weren't together, she had to remind herself. Instead, she reminded herself she almost kissed Lucas herself. She couldn't be hurt, she couldn't, so why couldn't she breathe?

Pulling herself together, she managed to slip into a pair of jeans and a form-fitting t-shirt. As she slipped on her sneakers, she decided it would be easier to just go out the window. Less time to deal with all of her emotions and just make a quick escape. It was as if she was on autopilot and wound up at the hospital with no recollection. As she walked towards his room, she could hear Josh's chuckles mixed with coughs and then his voice.

"I can't believe she still has a hold over me"

"You're really surprised?"

"I'm with Alli"

"Doesn't erase your feelings for Riley, which are what?"

Josh groaned and Riley closed her eyes in sadness. Riley leaned against the wall and listened to their conversation. It was wrong but she had to know herself. Was it all in her head? Or did they have moments last night?

"Anger"

"Luke man,"

"What?"

"I'm on my deathbed, confess,"

Riley rolled her eyes at Josh using that line.

"That's not funny man, I can't see you like this, it hurts,"

"Because I'm your link to her,"

"What! No man, you helped me so much dealing with my heartbreak, you're like a brother to me,"

"So tell me how you really feel"

"I'm still in love with her, fuck man, I thought I was over her, I love Alli I do but seeing her brought back these feelings."

Riley held in her gasp at his confession and tried her best not to run in there and say something. It was not going to be a pretty scene, and it would just be more emotional than necessary.

"She's not the same person"

"Neither am I, when I first saw her I had to restrain myself from screaming at her or hug her, then last night, fuck"

"Last night?"

"We were drunk, she asked me if I wanted her, and I fucking did, I wanted to kiss her, I wanted her in a way I shouldn't man, dammit Maya!"

"Maya?"

"She dressed Riley in this dress, I know she's your niece but … Maya did a great job"

Riley rolled her eyes at his comment and heard Josh groaned in annoyance. Lucas chuckled at his discomfort and then just let out a large sigh.

"I have to stay away, I'm not a cheater but I can't think straight around her"

"Lucas … I can't believe I'm even going to say but there is something you should know about Riley," Josh began.

Riley scrambled to the door and walked in before Josh could continue with what he was saying. She leaned in the doorframe looking past Lucas, and at Josh.

"Hey," Riley greeted.

"Squirt," Josh said and watched Lucas squirm slightly.

"Hello Lucas," Riley said and tried to look at him but she couldn't. Instead, she walked into the room and around the other side of the bed. Her eyes glued onto Josh, checking his pillow, and making sure he is comfortable.

"Hey"

"Hi,"

"I better go, I'll come back later, bye," Lucas said standing to his feet.

He grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair and began to walk out of the room when Riley called out to him.

"Lucas?" Riley said as Lucas hesitantly turned to her.

She placed a piece of hair behind her ear and sighed.

"Thank you for the ride last night, I appreciate it," Riley said and gave him a soft smile.

Lucas tried not to grin at her but gave her a tight lip smile and quickly left the room. Riley fixed her hair again and could feel Josh staring at her. She placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head waiting for him to say something.

"So what happened?" Josh asked.

"Nothing, it was nice I guess, we honored you, got to know Allison a bit," Riley said as she fixed Josh's pillows.

"Oh … well Lucas said … you … and him …" Josh tried to say it.

"Yes we almost kissed twice," Riley said plainly and plopped into the seat next to his bed.

"Oh he did not mention it twice," Josh sighed.

"It was a drunken mistake," Riley said.

"It didn't seem like it to him, Riles he's still-"

"Don't. We are here about you Uncle Josh," Riley said and looked at Josh.

"What if I want to talk about it?" Josh asked and coughed.

He winced and Riley instantly sat up to help him but he leaned back into the pillow.

"I actually want to sleep, is that okay with you?" Josh asked.

"Absolutely," Riley said as Josh closed his eyes, she could hear his breathing even out and Riley tried her best to quiet her cries.

Lucas tossed his jacket onto the countertop as he walked into his loft. Allison convinced him to get his own space in the city. However it didn't matter, she was always over and making it their home. He could tell she was there as every light was on and soft classical music played. He followed the sound to see Allison holding a glass of red wine and pilfering through a brown box.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for photos for a collage for Joshua,"

"We are digital people Alli,

"When are you going to unpack?" Allison complained as Lucas's office had dozens of boxes unopened.

"Soon," Lucas groaned and sat in the swivel chair.

He woke his sleeping computer and was met with a giant picture of him and Allison after he proposed. They were happy, they were perfect together, and he loved her. He typed in his password and saw the collage of photos Maya made for his desktop. Throughout the years of their friendship meshed together in a heart shape. He could see photos from Maya's first art show they went to, Springbreak in Mexico sophomore year of college, Smackle's college graduation, and then it trickled down. He could see the group photo from high school graduation, a picture of him and Riley from prom tucked away in a corner, a picture of him staring at a grinning Riley in the park. He ignored the triggering feelings and opened his browser and glanced at Allison. She was perfect, smart, kind, beautiful, and one of the most loving people he could have met.

"This is lovely," Allison said as she flipped a photo over to see a picture of Riley on Lucas's back, Maya on Zay's, and Smackle holding Farkle's hand.

"Junior year, ditch day, Zay got us in trouble because he decided to eat fifty hot dogs and threw up on Riley's dad," Lucas said wistfully and Allison smiled.

"What changed?" Allison asked as she shuffled through some photos she found.

"People grow up," Lucas said and shook the memories out of his head. He turned back to the screen and missed Allison pulling out a small blue plaid box. She opened the book to see old photos and grinned when she saw a good pile of Josh.

"Got them"

Allison dumped the box out into her lap and began to sort the photos out. Most of the photos were of Josh and Maya, or Josh and Riley. However, they began to shift and she could some of Riley alone and some of her with Lucas. Her heart sank to her stomach when she saw a few trickles in of Lucas kissing Riley.

He hadn't told her.

She saw their prom picture where they beamed at one another glowing underneath the lights. Lucas's face had the biggest grin he could ever have, and Riley blushing away from him. Her hands trembled as she came across an old piece of paper that had been folded multiple times but also reopened. She quietly opened it and could feel her heartbreak as she read the words, his words in his scraggly print.

Dear Riley,

It is probably silly I am writing you this letter. Right now you are sitting across from me, a pen stuck between your teeth because your dad assigned another project. We graduate in a few weeks but it does not stop you from learning. I think your dad also did this so we wouldn't do anything stupid. Does he not know who our best friends are? Zay already texted me he has ten pounds of feathers. Why? Only the Senior Prank Gods know. Anyway, I am supposed to be working on my half but I can't stop staring at you and realizing how much I am head over heels in love with you. I love you, I love you, Riley, you're the best thing in my life. I don't think I could have survived anything without you. You're my best friend, my partner, my soulmate, I love every inch of you. Last night you spent the night, and it was a big step for us. I'm glad it was you, I'm glad all my first with you because I want them to be my last. You always talked about your parents, always knowing who they were meant to be young. Riley, I think that's us. Nope, I know it's us. If I am trembling and looking like I am going to faint I am not …

Riley Matthews, will you marry me?

"Riley?" Allison whispered and looked at Lucas.

"What?" He mumbled as he clicked through a few tabs,

"Riley she's the one," Allison said a bit louder and stood to her feet.

"Alli, what are you talking about?" Lucas asked and turned to her.

"What's that?" He asked as he gulped. He knew exactly what it was, he read it at least twice a year, to remind himself of the pain, to remember that she left him.

"Your proposal to Riley! These photos, this letter, it's a box of shit you saved, it's a box of your "one true" love" Allison screamed. She kicked the small box and the photos scattered across the floor. She crumpled the letter and turned to make her escape away from him.

"Alli"

"You made a fool of me last night! All of you! You guys spoke of her in such light I admired her, I knew I wouldn't compare to this dream girl but she was there and you didn't tell me! You were never going to tell me!" Allison cried as she grabbed her jacket off the chair.

"Alli!" Lucas said as he stood in front of her.

"Do you still love her?" Allison screamed.

"Yes," Lucas confessed.

Dumbass.

"Oh my goodness, I need to go" Allison exclaimed and Lucas groaned.

"Alli no wait listen," Lucas said and stood in front of the door

"Lucas move!"

"I love you,"

"If we weren't together would you try again with her?" Allison asked.

"I just told you I love you," Lucas said with a bewildered look.

"Lucas would you take Riley back!"

"Alli I love you!"

"Lucas!"

"I don't know," Lucas confessed.

His mind flashed back to last night. Giving Riley chances, knowing who was waiting for him. Feeling that surge of energy when their lips touched slightly and how if she would have made the move. He wouldn't have stopped, he would have gotten addicted and he would have drunk her soul.

"Move!" Allison screamed and broke Lucas out of his thoughts.

"Alli we're getting married, we need to learn to have talks" Lucas begged.

"No, we're not," Allison said sternly and Lucas could feel his chest tightened.

Allison pulled at her engagement ring and her fingers trembled. She slammed her hand into his chest and made sure he grabbed the diamond.

"Alli baby," Lucas began.

"No, Lucas we need a break, I have a business in London, and when I am back in a week … we can talk but love I need you to move or I will not be able to ever forgive you," Allison cried.

Lucas hesitantly took the ring from Allison and moved out of her way. Allison gasped her sobs back and wiped her eyes.

"I think a part of me wanted you to fight more," Allison confessed as she ran out of the condo.

Lucas frozen in his spot stared at the diamond ring in his palm. Allison's words rang in his mind but he didn't do anything. The chime of the elevator brought him out of his thoughts but he still didn't chase her.

What the fuck.

Riley rubbed her eyes and closed the novel she was reading. She glanced over at Josh and smiled at the image she saw in front of her. He was so peaceful, a small smile on his face but flushed and sullen. Riley heard the door swing open and expected to see Julia or Maya. Instead, she was faced with Allison who had puffy red eyes and nose.

"Oh" Allison whispered when she saw Riley curled up in a chair with her novel.

"Hey, Allison," Riley whispered and sat up in the chair.

"Hello, I thought no was here," Allison said and walked over to Josh's bed.

She swept a piece of hair out of his face. Riley bit back the sting of jealousy and started to move out of the chair.

"I've been here kind of all day, he's sleeping but I could give you a moment"

"I broke up with Lucas," Allison confessed.

"What? Why? Allison, is everything okay?" Riley asked.

"No, it's not ... you're the dream girl" Allison whispered.

"I'm sorry he asked me not to say anything, I apologize I do, I honestly didn't even want to go but-" Riley started.

"I'm not mad at you, you were the only one who tried to stop the conversation, ironic but that could have been guilt" Allison spat.

"I don't feel anything for him anymore," Riley said.

"You're lying but it's fine, I'm going to say bye to this handsome gent," Allison said and grabbed Josh's hand.

"I'll give you a moment," Riley said and scattered out the room.

She could feel the walls closing in on her and she could hear Allison's cries through the door. Riley tried to ignore the pit in her stomach as she could hear Allison speak softly to Josh lovingly. She heard the door open and Allison adorned black shades. Riley knew it was to mask her pain and Riley appreciated it.

"Goodbye, Riley,"

"Allison … you should give Lucas another chance, it was good-hearted … ill-placed. I don't think he expected to ever see me again," Riley confessed.

"But he has now, hasn't he?" Allison said and walked away before Riley could respond.

Riley walked into Josh's room stunned by Allison's words and tried to ignore last night's memories. She plopped back into her chair and looked at Josh fast asleep. Her hands clasped around her mouth and she sobbed herself to sleep.

When her eyes fluttered open and she saw green ones staring at her.

"Is?" She mumbled.

"What?"

Riley said abruptly when the voice was low and gruff. It was recognizable, and she knew who it was.

"Lucas?! What are you doing here? It's late" Riley asked as she adjusted herself.

"I could say the same to you, It's like eight o'clock at night," Lucas said and Riley ignored how easy their conversations were getting.

"Oh no," Riley groaned and looked for her phone. She groaned again when she saw the many missed calls from her parents, and Zay.

"You okay?" Lucas asked as she put her phone to sleep.

"Yeah"

"Okay, he's still asleep,"

"I should head to my parents," Riley said as she untangled herself from the chair.

"Alli knows," Lucas said as Riley grabbed her jacket.

"Lucas I didn't tell her"

"She found a box of shit I kept," Lucas grumbled as Riley sighed.

"I left her a message, I explained I love her, and that she is the one, the only one but … she didn't answer and I think I fucked my whole life up because I couldn't let go of the past," Lucas sighed.

Her mind screamed at her not to walk over to him but she did. He looked up at her and she instantly placed a piece of hair behind her ear. His hands trembled as she stood in front of him and he gulped. Four years later, and she still made him extremely nervous about his actions. He could see she was calculating what to do next and tried to maneuver what he was going to do in response.

"I'm sorry, I wreck everything," Riley whispered and Lucas's eyes widened.

Riley began to cry as she stood in front of him and he got to his feet. Without thinking he wrapped his arms around her and she broke down into his arms. They both heard the bed creak and heard a weak cough.

"What a sight," A soft voice whispered.

"Josh?" Riley gulped.

"Hey Squirt," Josh whispered.

"I should get Julia," Riley said, wiping her face.

"No!" Josh grunted as he struggled to sit up.

Lucas walked over and helped Josh sit up properly. Josh held Lucas's hand and looked over at Riley who walked over slowly. He reached for Riley's hand and she gave it to him. He struggled to smile and he pulled their hands towards one another.

"This works," Josh said and Riley cringed.

"Josh, Lucas is with-" Riley began.

"I know, but still … it works, just get closure, for me," Josh said and gripped their hands into one another.

Riley's hands went limp but Lucas interlocked their fingers. She tried not to cry but Lucas squeezed tighter. They both knew what was happening, as Josh laid back down onto his pillow.

"I love you guys," Josh whispered as he closed his eyes.

Riley's knees buckled but Lucas grabbed her before she fell onto the floor.

"Hey, Josh?" Lucas whispered as he held Riley up with one arm.

Josh opened his eyes wide and let out a big exhale. A smile fell upon his face and it was the last thing Riley saw before everything went black.