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Disclaimer: I don't own Tokidoki Bosotto Roshiago de Dereru Tonari no Alya-san or any of its characters...
Alisa yawned as she sat up from her bed, rubbing her eyes before looking at the window. The sun was just starting to rise in the sky, but it felt like she had been awake for hours already.
"I need him…" she admitted to herself, hugging her knees to her chest. "I need Kuze-kun…"
The events of the previous day were still fresh in her mind because of the comfort and reassurance that she felt afterwards, to the point that she could vividly remember all of it.
Just when she thought that he had left her behind and cut off any kind of contact between them for good, Masachika suddenly showed up to prove that she was wrong and that he still cared for her.
Alisa thought that she had pushed him away because of her own actions, and only then did she realize how much he truly meant to her.
"I can't be without him…"
While preparing breakfast, things were a little different wherein Masachika was the one in front of the stove, while Alisa prepared the necessary ingredients for him.
Masachika was surprised when the girl said that he can do the actual cooking this time around, which he then saw as a good sign of things to come.
Before this, Alisa wouldn't even let him get near the stove, having thought that she's the only one who bears the responsibility of preparing meals for the whole group.
On the other hand, he was nothing more than someone who's struggling to pull his own weight… at least that's how she used to think.
"Alya, can you hand the ingredients over? I think the water's good enough for us to start."
She didn't say anything. She simply did as she was told, handing over a tray with small bowls of chopped vegetables and ham slices to the young man, which he took with a grateful nod.
"If he's not here with me… I have nothing. Without Kuze-kun, I'm useless. Я не могу жить без него…"
The girl took a hidden glance at him while she walked away to wash the chopping board and knife that she just used.
"Kuze-kun… he's been by my side ever since our first year and not once did he ask for anything in return… which makes me think if I'm even worthy of his friendship in the first place. What have I ever done for him?"
Mere words weren't enough to describe the wave of relief and contentment that washed through Alya when Masachika chose to sit beside her instead of everyone else for dinner.
He and Chisaki were unable to join the rest of them for lunch, as they were still roaming the shallow waters on the raft to catch fish at the time. Even though she was hoping for it, there was no way for them to spend lunch together.
But dinner was a different story, because Masachika was now here and he chose to be with her… just like what he had done in the past several days.
"I want him to stay by my side… I want him to keep on supporting me… I want him to be here with me, giving me words of encouragement and helping me to be the best version of myself…"
Alya took an opportunity to steal another glance at him, and she couldn't help but be flustered at her own thoughts regarding him.
"But I'm not the only one whom he looks after. Everyone here is counting on him, everyone here needs him. Everyone here… including me…"
Alya allowed herself to collapse on the bed, still in deep thought about a certain boy whom she couldn't get out of her head.
"What do I do…? I mean, I get it. I need Kuze— no… I need Masachika-kun, but everyone else needs him too. I can't really ask him to choose…"
She bit the inside of her cheeks, entirely clueless on what she should do now. However, it's clear to the younger Kujou that the boy who was always by her side was someone irreplaceable, and not even her sister could make up for his presence.
"But I can't lose him again, either… I don't want to go back to being alone… I… I need Masachika-kun… I'm not going to make the same mistake again…"
The girl bore a conflicted look on her face as she grabbed one of her pillows and hugged it tightly against her body, caught in a complete dilemma of what her plan of action should be.
Masachika breathed out a huge sigh of relief as he relaxed on his bed after another day of work, as his thoughts drifted to a certain half-Russian girl who nearly got herself knee-deep into trouble not long ago.
It's been days since the last time that they've talked to each other, but not because of another problem that sprouted between them. It's more like things were now peaceful and the whole group had began to revert back to how they used to be before Alisa surprised them all with her sudden outbursts.
Speaking of which, her image was beginning to improve again in everyone's eyes. More than two weeks have passed since that incident, and the girl managed to stay out of trouble since then.
He had no idea if Alisa had made any efforts to reconnect with the others, especially her sister, but she seemed to be on speaking terms with them at least.
A sudden knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts, bringing his attention there.
Initially, he thought it would be Yuki who came for another late night 'visit', only to be surprised to see the exact same girl whom he was just thinking about.
"Alya?" Masachika raised an eyebrow. She had never ventured into his room before, so there must be an important reason for her to be here. "What's the matter? Can't sleep?"
He waited a few moments for the girl to speak, but there was no audible response from her.
"Oi, are you still there? You're spacing out."
"I— eh?" Alisa tried to speak up, only to look at her surroundings in confusion, as if she had been in a trance. "I'm actually here…?"
Masachika sent her a deadpan look. "That's what I should be asking you. Do you need something?"
She stared at him intensely, her eyes conveying that she had a lot of things to tell him, but couldn't quite figure out what to say.
"Look, it's already late. You should go to sleep. Whatever it is you want to tell me, just do it tomo—"
"Don't…" she mumbled quietly.
"Did you say something?"
"Не оставляй меня одну…" she mumbled again, rubbing her arm nervously.
"You're gonna have to speak up because I'm not hearing anything you're saying…"
Upon hearing those words, Alya ran towards him from where she was and immediately got on her knees.
"P-Please… you must understand… I don't want to be alone anymore…" she placed her hand on his knee and looked up at him with a miserable look on her face, "without Kuze-kun… I can't live on…"
"So what do you want from me, exactly?" he frowned in confusion.
"I-I need you by my side, Kuze-kun… please stay on my side… y-you must stay on my side…" she pleaded, tears openly flowing from her eyes.
Masachika stared at her for a brief moment, taking in the sight of the girl's crying face and the look of desperation that she had. On the other hand, Alisa waited for him to say something, her hands and lips trembling from anticipation and nervousness.
"...no."
Her heart almost stopped beating for a second out of shock.
"H-Huh…?"
"You should know why, Alya. You're not exactly in everyone's good graces right now, because they still haven't forgotten what you did," he explained while looking to the side. "If I started paying more attention to you, that's gonna be a lot of questions that I'll have to deal with and I don't feel like handling any of it. And I haven't exactly forgotten your actions towards me, either…"
"No… please…"
He turned his head away, as if to say that he was done explaining this to her and that there's no changing his mind.
"P-Please… don't say that…" Her eyes widened as her breathing became more erratic than before. Alisa didn't want to believe that he'll just let her go like that. "Kuze-kun… y-you're the only one that I can—"
"You have your sister, don't you? Why don't you go to her instead of me?"
"N-No…"
Masachika pushed her hand off his knee before turning to her again, a serious look taking over his face while he reminded her of the one other person she could rely on.
"Masha-san can give you what you want, without anything in return. Did you even think of that, Alya? Why would you not go to your own family instead?"
Alisa lowered her head, hiding her face from him for some reason.
"I-I can't…"
"Oh, so you still haven't patched things up with her…" he shook his head in disappointment. "Don't you know how much it's been killing her that the two of you haven't talked even once in so long?"
The girl continued to hide her face from him, because he was right. She had not been able to have a proper conversation with her sister until now, and she had no one to blame but herself either. She had been too focused on Masachika instead…
In Masachika's eyes, it also proved Yuki right, even though he tried to deny it… and all he could think of is that Masha doesn't deserve this.
"Just leave and go to Masha-san before it's too late. Fix your relationship with her while you still have a chance."
"N-No! Please…!" she placed her hands on his knees and looked up at him again, becoming even more desperate. "Don't throw me away…! I'm begging you…! Please… Kuze-kun… please… w-without you, I… I'm going to lose my mind…!"
Masachika glared at her, which actually left the girl frightened. Once again, she was at the mercy of his cold gaze, and Alya couldn't do anything but hope that he was convinced of her words.
"...fine," he eventually sighed and massaged his forehead to calm his nerves. At this point, he can't really do anything about it. "I guess I can give you what you're looking for."
"You will…?"
He nodded. "Yes, I'll stay with you. But I think you know, Alya… that this isn't the right way to ask someone."
"...w-what do you mean?"
"Do you even know why everyone distanced themselves from you? The reason why they didn't trust you anymore?"
"...b-because I hurt you…" she looked down again.
"Wrong," he narrowed his eyes. "It's because you couldn't deliver a sincere apology. I'm not the first one you hurt, remember? That was Ayano, and you never did apologize to her."
A look of panic overtook her entire face.
"You're gonna have to apologize to Ayano, but don't worry. I'm not asking you to do it now. I just want you to know that sincerity goes a long way when you're trying to convince someone else."
He held her hands before kneeling down on the floor, facing her.
"But sincerity isn't enough. When you want to convince someone, you also have to connect with them. And by connecting with them, you place your faith in them. Do you understand where I'm getting at?"
"Ehrm… I don't really understand…" she muttered.
"I'll help you, but only if you succeed in giving a sincere apology that comes from your heart. After all, you never apologized to me as well. And then you can do the same to Ayano after this."
"O-Okay…"
"Since you're already on your knees, you can just put your hands on the floor. Your head too," he released her hands and grabbed the top of her head as he pushed it down.
"Eh…? B-But Kuze-kun…"
Resisting his actions, Alisa kept her head raised while she stared at him in confusion. She didn't know why she would have to do this when it wasn't even needed for an apology.
"W-Wait, isn't this prostration…? I-I thought I was only going to apolo—"
"GET YOUR HEAD ON THE FLOOR ALREADY!"
Ignoring the possibility of the others hearing his voice, Masachika forced her head down until it hit the floor. Fortunately, the girl was able to turn her head to the side before her face could hit the hard floor, but it was still a close call.
"Ku…ze… kun…?" she muttered, looking up at him with eyes full of fear.
This boy in front of her… was a completely different person. There were no signs of the Masachika whom she got to spend time with for several years. The only boy whom she got to know on a personal level, even…
"How ironic… you complain about being the only one who knows what needs to be done, but you're pretty clueless on what to do, Alya."
Masachika left her there and sat on the bed again, looking irritated at her lack of initiative.
"You're asking for me to stay with you, right? Then get your head on the floor and do what you're supposed to do," he rolled his eyes and looked away. "If that's too hard for you, then you can get out of my room and forget this ever happened."
Alisa looked up at him in a gasp, panic overtaking her entire body the moment she heard his last statement.
"N-No… please… please no… Kuze-kun…"
She tried to plead with him again, but Masachika didn't even look her way. Despite the tears that were streaming down her cheeks, he continued to ignore her like she didn't matter anymore.
And with that, Alisa felt like she was driven into a corner.
"I'm sorry… I-I'm sorry… I'm sorry for everything… I'm sorry…!" she cried, prostrating herself in front of him just as he wanted.
Masachika took a glance at her and once he saw that she followed what he said, he kept his gaze on the girl.
Alya pressed her head and hands against the floor as she continued on, "Please… Kuze-kun… p-please don't leave me… stay by my side… I-I'm begging you…"
"That's more like it. But you should be aware of the consequences of your actions, Alya. If I give you what you want, then you're giving up your chance to get home as soon as possible."
Masachika explained while folding his arms across his chest, making his priorities clear.
"No matter how much you beg me to help you get back to Japan, I will not prioritize it over everyone's safety. I hope you understand that."
"I don't care anymore…!" she sobbed, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "I-I've been denying it… this whole time… I don't care about going home at all… the only thing that matters… is having you by my side… b-being there for me… and offering me support when I need it… t-that's all that matters to me… Masachika-kun…"
He observed her for a few moments, gauging on whether or not Alya was being genuine with her words, before he took a deep breath and uttered his response…
"All right, you've convinced me."
"I-I did…?"
"Yes, yes, I'll give you what you want, Alya. I won't leave you," he smiled, pulling off a complete paradigm shift in his demeanor. "If I was too harsh just now, I'm sorry about that. I had to make sure that you were being serious because in reality, I don't want to see you alone anymore, Alya."
Alya sniffled as she tried to calm down, feeling an immense wave of relief after his words of reassurance. She raised her head to look at him, and was surprised when Masachika began patting her head, running his fingers through her silver hair.
"Don't worry. You're not alone, Alya. I'm here for you. I won't leave you," he smiled before stroking her cheek that was stained with her tears.
"Th-Thank you…" she whispered, leaning into his touch like it was a source of comfort and relief.
"As long as you keep on doing this, I'll praise you and I'll support you. I'll stay by your side, I'll protect you, and you will never feel alone again.
Alya was caught off guard when he pulled her in for a hug, but she quickly accepted it and buried her face into his stomach. She had been craving for this kind of affection — especially from him — for so long, and she was happy to finally get it.
"Everything's going to be fine, Alya, as long as you do as I say."
"Yes…" she nodded, hugging him tighter as she enjoyed the warmth that emanated from this embrace.
"So then… what will you give me in return?"
"...eh?"
Alya let out an audible gasp when he pushed her off him harshly, making her look up at him in disbelief.
Just when she thought that things were finally looking bright for her, Masachika brought an abrupt end to it by driving her into a corner once again.
"Come on, you asked me for something big, it's only fair that I get something out of this as well. That's what being on equal footing means, right?" he pointed out.
"S-Something I can give…?" Alya stammered, unable to come up with a reasonable answer to his question. "I… I… don't have anything I can give Kuze-kun right now…"
"I don't think so," Masachika's lip curled up in a smirk as he leaned down to meet her frightened eyes with his intense gaze. "There's one thing you can offer me in return, Alya."
Translation notes:
¹ - "I can't live without him..."
² - "Don't leave me alone..."
MINASAN, YONDE KURETE ARIGATŌ! AISHITEMAAAAASUUUUU! *starts playing air guitar*
-Lance