An Android Makes A Rasengan
Author Note: In the manga, Rasengan is orange/golden colored. I'm following that.
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The next day dawned bright and early, with the sun shining cheerily down on Konoha, its rays completely oblivious to the absolute chaos that was about to ensue. Somewhere amidst the morning hustle and bustle, Naruto, with her gleaming sapphire eyes and neck-length white hair that seemed to glow in the daylight, was on a mission. Clad in her signature frilly black dress that looked like it belonged more at a gothic tea party than on a battlefield, long black gloves that hugged her arms, and impossibly high black heels that somehow didn't stop her from running faster than any shinobi, Naruto was determined. She needed to find Pervy Sage, a.k.a Jiraiya, and squeeze out another jutsu from him—something cool, something badass, something that would make her future Hokage status undeniable.
Her quest had her marching through the village, each step echoing with a robotic precision that was somehow both creepy and captivating. Passersby couldn't help but glance at her, their thoughts torn between admiring her unique style and wondering if she was some kind of life-sized, creepy doll come to life.
But Naruto had no time for their stares; she was on a mission. With the Summoning Jutsu mastered, she was itching for more. Something that screamed "power" and "coolness." Something that would make her enemies tremble in fear…or at least raise an eyebrow in mild concern.
And who better to teach her than the very man who had reluctantly shown her the Summoning Jutsu?
"Now where could that perverted old man be?" Naruto wondered aloud, her voice monotone yet oddly whimsical as she scanned her surroundings. Her eyes narrowed as a thought crossed her mind. "He's probably where all pervs go…"
With a mechanical turn of her head, she zeroed in on her destination—the village bathhouse. Of course. Where else would the great Toad Sage be, if not indulging in his favorite pastime: peeping on women? Naruto's creepy grin stretched wide across her face, as she set off with her wooden legs moving like a well-oiled machine, each heel click echoing ominously.
Sure enough, as Naruto approached the bathhouse, she spotted the all-too-familiar sight of a man with wild white hair, crouched behind a wooden fence, his face plastered against a suspiciously well-placed peephole. Jiraiya was so engrossed in his, ahem, "research" that he didn't notice Naruto sneaking up behind him, her frilly dress swishing with each step.
Naruto tilted her head to the side, her glowing eyes narrowing as she assessed the situation. 'How utterly predictable,' she thought, before clearing her throat loudly, the sound cutting through the air like a blade.
"Teach me something," she demanded, her voice as flat and robotic as ever.
Jiraiya's whole body jerked in surprise, his face flushing a deep crimson. He whipped around, his eyes wide as saucers. "C-Can't ya see I'm busy?!" he hissed, trying to shoo her away like an annoying fly. "This is a delicate operation! I'm in the middle of serious research here!"
Naruto stared at him, unblinking, her expression eerily calm. Then, slowly, very slowly, her lips curled into that creepy, doll-like grin again. Without breaking eye contact, she raised one gloved hand, cupped it around her mouth, and shouted in a voice that was much louder than necessary:
"HELP! HELP! A PERVERT! DATTEBAYO!"
The words echoed through the bathhouse like a bomb going off. For a split second, there was nothing but stunned silence. And then all hell broke loose.
Shrieks and screams erupted from within the bathhouse as dozens of women, wrapped in towels and wielding shampoo bottles like deadly weapons, burst through the doors like an army of angry kunoichi. They spotted Jiraiya in an instant—his horrified face plastered with guilt—and charged at him with the fury of a thousand betrayed hearts.
"What?! No, no, it's not what it looks like!" Jiraiya stammered, backing away in sheer terror. But it was too late. The women were on him like a pack of wolves, their hands and bath supplies flying at him from all directions.
Naruto watched the chaos unfold with an odd sense of satisfaction. Jiraiya's cries for mercy rang out as the angry women chased him around the bathhouse, towels flapping in the wind, bath slippers flying through the air like shuriken.
"This is what happens when you don't listen," Naruto commented to herself, nodding sagely. She then turned on her heel, her high heels clacking ominously, and strolled off towards the woods, knowing full well that Jiraiya would be following her soon enough—if he survived, that is.
Sure enough, after a few minutes of chasing, dodging, and narrowly escaping a particularly vicious shampoo bottle to the head, Jiraiya managed to break free from the bathhouse mob. He tore through the streets, his robes flapping wildly as he fled towards the safety of the forest. His heart pounded in his chest, and his lungs burned from the exertion. "That brat is gonna pay for this!" he muttered under his breath, glancing over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't being followed by any more angry women.
He didn't see Naruto at first, but he knew she was somewhere nearby. The woods were thick with trees, perfect for hiding, but also perfect for stalking. Jiraiya slowed his pace, moving cautiously as he peered around each trunk. "Naruto…come out, come out, wherever you are…" he called out in a singsong voice, trying to sound casual despite the beads of sweat dripping down his forehead.
Suddenly, there was a rustling sound behind him. Jiraiya spun around, his senses on high alert, but there was nothing there. He squinted, his eyes darting from side to side. "Where the hell did that creepy doll go?"
A twig snapped to his left, and Jiraiya's heart leapt into his throat. He spun around again, only to see…nothing. The forest was playing tricks on him. Or maybe Naruto was playing tricks on him. "This isn't funny, kid!" he growled, his nerves fraying with each passing second.
Just as he was about to give up and make a run for it, Naruto's voice echoed eerily from somewhere above him. "Looking for me, Pervy Sage?"
Jiraiya looked up, just in time to see Naruto hanging upside down from a tree branch, her frilly dress defying gravity as she 'grinned' down at him like a creepy, robotic bat. "Boo," she whispered, her sapphire eyes glowing ominously.
Jiraiya yelped, stumbling backwards as he tried to scramble away, but Naruto was too quick. With a swift, mechanical movement, she dropped down from the tree and landed right in front of him, blocking his escape. "Teach. Me. Something. Cool," she demanded, each word punctuated with the robotic precision of a machine that would not be denied.
Jiraiya, realizing he was cornered and out of options, held up his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright! I'll teach you a cool jutsu! Just stop scaring the crap out of me, will ya?!"
Naruto tilted her head, her creepy grin widening. "Good answer, Pervy Sage. Dattebayo."
And with that, Jiraiya knew he was stuck—whether he liked it or not.
Jiraiya, having finally resigned himself to the fact that Naruto wouldn't leave him alone until he taught her something "cool and badass," stood before her with a smug grin plastered across his face. He held up a hand, and in an instant, a glowing yellow ball of chakra formed in his palm, swirling with an almost hypnotic energy. It was the Rasengan, a jutsu of immense power and finesse.
Naruto, with her usual robotic calmness, tilted her head to the side as she observed the glowing ball. Her expression didn't change much—her eerie, doll-like face remained as neutral as ever—but there was a slight, almost imperceptible widening of her sapphire eyes. "Huh?" she muttered in that monotone voice of hers, "This looks cool, but doesn't seem powerful enough."
Jiraiya's smirk only grew wider at her confusion. He chuckled, clearly enjoying the moment of superiority. "Oh, you think so? Watch this!" With a dramatic flourish, he thrust the ball of chakra straight at a nearby boulder. The impact was immediate and spectacular—the boulder didn't just crack; it practically exploded into chunks of rock and dust, scattering debris everywhere.
Naruto stared at the shattered remains, her expression unchanged. But inside, she was calculating, analyzing, and judging every aspect of what she had just seen. "Interesting," she finally said, her tone flat as always. "What is it called?"
Jiraiya puffed out his chest, his ego swelling to dangerous levels. "This, my young pupil, is the Rasengan!" he declared with the kind of dramatic flair that could only come from someone who had spent way too much time writing pervy novels. "My student, the Fourth Hokage, spent three long years perfecting this jutsu. And guess what? I mastered it in only six months!"
Naruto nodded, her head bobbing up and down like one of those plastic dashboard dolls. "Oooh. I see. Dattebayo." Her voice was still flat, devoid of any real emotion, but the way she nodded furiously suggested that she was more than a little interested. "How do you make it?"
Jiraiya, sensing her eagerness—if you could call that eerie calmness "eagerness"—launched into an explanation with all the enthusiasm of a teacher who had finally found a student that wasn't a total lost cause. "Alright, listen up," he began, rolling up his sleeves as if he were about to deliver the lecture of a lifetime. "The Rasengan is all about chakra control. You need to focus your chakra into a small, tight space, and then make it spin—really, really fast. There are three steps to it. First, you need to learn how to create a spinning ball of chakra. This step is all about learning to control the chakra so it doesn't dissipate. It's harder than it sounds. The second step is maintaining that spinning ball of chakra while adding more power to it—basically increasing the density and strength. The third step is mastering the shape transformation, making the chakra sphere perfectly stable while keeping it powerful."
As Jiraiya spoke, Naruto held out her palm, her gaze fixed on it with a level of intensity that bordered on creepy. Her white hair fluttered slightly as a breeze passed through the clearing, but she remained perfectly still, her glowing sapphire eyes unblinking.
"And don't think you can just skip steps and jump straight to creating a Rasengan," Jiraiya added, wagging a finger at her as if scolding a child. "You need to clear the first two steps first to learn the Rasengan. You cannot just make one the next moment you know how it's—"
But before he could finish his sentence, a bright, spinning golden ball of chakra appeared in Naruto's palm. It wasn't just there—it was perfect, glowing with an intense energy that rivaled the sun itself. The ball spun with such precision and control that even the most skilled shinobi would have had to do a double-take.
Jiraiya's jaw dropped. His eyes widened to the point where they seemed ready to pop out of his head. "How…?"
Unbeknownst to him, Naruto's body had perfect chakra control—thanks to her odd, doll-like nature. It was far superior to even the best medical ninjas, making her a natural at manipulating chakra. But of course, explaining that would ruin the mystique, so Naruto said nothing.
Instead, she simply turned toward an even larger boulder than the one Jiraiya had decimated. With the same robotic calmness, she thrust her hand forward. "Rasengan. Dattebayo."
The impact was nothing short of catastrophic. The boulder didn't just shatter—it disintegrated into millions of tiny pieces, each fragment scattering in every direction like confetti at the world's most explosive party. Dust filled the air, and the ground shook as if an earthquake had just been triggered.
Naruto, amidst the chaos, struck a dramatic pose—one that looked as if it had been practiced in front of a mirror about a thousand times. Her frilly dress swayed in the breeze, her black gloves gleamed in the sunlight, and her high heels clicked ominously against the ground. "Don't be so shocked," she declared, her voice still monotone, though with an odd hint of self-satisfaction. "It is only natural that a brilliant person like me would master it in a minute."
Jiraiya, still staring at the spot where the boulder used to be, felt his legs go weak. His vision swam, and he could feel his pride taking a nosedive into the deepest pits of despair. 'Just when I thought I would get some respect…' he thought miserably before his eyes rolled back and he fainted, collapsing onto the ground with a heavy thud.
Naruto, still in her dramatic pose, blinked once before lowering her hand. She walked over to where Jiraiya lay, her high heels clacking against the ground with a mechanical rhythm. She nudged his belly with one of those heels, her expression as unreadable as ever. "I hope he's not dead," she said to no one in particular, her voice as monotone as ever. "I still need to learn more jutsus. Dattebayo."
Satisfied that he was merely unconscious and not actually deceased, Naruto gave a small, almost imperceptible nod before turning on her heel and walking away, leaving Jiraiya sprawled out on the ground amidst the remains of what used to be a boulder.
"We'll continue after a 'short' Ramen break." She said without looking back.
The day wasn't over yet, and Naruto still had much to learn. After all, she was just getting started.
TBC
Author Note: I hope you liked this chapter.
Look forward to the next chapter. Drop your thoughts in the review section.
Till next time!