Android Goes To Shopping
Naruto blinked as she stood in the bustling merchant district, her glowing sapphire eyes scanning the rows of cloth shops with an unnerving, robotic precision. Her neck-length white hair fluttered slightly in the breeze, as she performed what could only be described as a full 360-degree head spin, taking in every store in sight.
The bystanders, already on edge due to her strange, doll-like appearance, recoiled in surprise. One vendor dropped a basket of apples, his jaw hanging open. A mother clutched her child closer, whispering, "Don't stare, dear. It's rude." Meanwhile, a group of teenagers huddled together, muttering, "Dude, did you see that? She just... rotated her head like an owl!"
Completely oblivious to the public's reaction, Naruto continued her search. Her beloved frilly black dress, with its high neckline and intricate lace, had served her well but was now in desperate need of a break. Besides, it wouldn't do to wear the same outfit every day, even if she didn't particularly care about fashion.
Last time she'd been here, Ino had dragged her to a trendy shop and somehow convinced the shopkeeper to give Naruto clothes for free. "A favor," Ino had called it, though Naruto suspected it had something to do with Ino's persistent charm—or perhaps her terrifying threats. Either way, Naruto was alone this time, with no Ino to assist her, and she had no idea where to start.
With a mechanical gait, she entered the first shop she saw. It was an elegant little boutique filled with frilly blouses, flowing skirts, and dresses in every pastel shade imaginable. The shopkeeper, a petite woman with graying hair and an overly enthusiastic smile, rushed over to greet her. "Good afternoon, dear! How may I assist you today?" she chirped, clasping her hands together.
Naruto stared at her blankly for a moment, her expressionless face making the shopkeeper's smile falter slightly. "Clothes," Naruto finally said in a monotone, as if the concept of buying attire was a new and foreign idea.
"Ah, of course! Let me show you our latest collection," the woman said, her smile now slightly forced as she guided Naruto towards a rack of floral dresses.
Naruto stared at the rack with an almost clinical disinterest. The shopkeeper held up a bright pink dress with ruffles along the sleeves and hem. "This would look absolutely darling on you!" she exclaimed, holding it up against Naruto's frame.
Naruto blinked once, then twice. "Darling," she repeated, her voice flat. "I am not a child."
The shopkeeper chuckled nervously. "Oh, well, how about this one?" She pulled out a sky-blue dress with a wide, flowing skirt.
Naruto reached out and touched the fabric, then immediately retracted her hand as if it had burned her. "This dress has too much... air," she stated, her tone making it sound like she was reporting a critical malfunction.
The shopkeeper's smile twitched. "Perhaps something simpler?" She moved on to a plain white blouse and a knee-length skirt, desperately trying to gauge Naruto's taste—or lack thereof.
But Naruto's expression didn't change. "Too ordinary," she said, her voice as emotionless as ever. "I do not want to blend in."
The shopkeeper blinked, clearly perplexed. "But darling, isn't that the point?"
"No," Naruto replied, her tone implying that the shopkeeper was perhaps not the brightest. "I want to be seen."
After a few more minutes of Naruto rejecting every outfit with the same deadpan, robotic responses, the shopkeeper finally gave up, muttering something about "peculiar tastes" and "ungrateful customers" under her breath as Naruto left the store.
Naruto wandered further down the street, until she found herself standing in front of a shop with a big, neon sign that read "*Madam M's Underthings*." Curious but still not entirely sure what "underthings" entailed, she walked in.
The interior was an explosion of lace, silk, and satin in every color imaginable. Bras, panties, garters—anything that could possibly fit under clothing was on display, often in ways that would make a blushing civilian avert their eyes.
A middle-aged woman with a severe bun and a clipboard appeared out of nowhere, smiling in a way that was both welcoming and slightly intimidating. "Welcome, shoujō! How may I help you?" she asked in a voice that carried the refined tone of someone who had attended finishing school.
Naruto stared at her blankly. "I don't require such unnecessary things," she muttered, her voice as monotone as ever. "My toad boxers and vest are enough."
For a moment, there was absolute silence. The shopkeeper blinked once, twice, processing what she had just heard. Then, as if possessed by the spirit of propriety itself, she swiftly bowed down and flipped up the hem of Naruto's frilly black dress, revealing a pair of toad-patterned boxers that looked like they belonged on a five-year-old boy, and a plain, unremarkable vest.
Naruto blinked in response, her expression as unchanging as a statue's.
The shopkeeper gasped as if she had just discovered the queen herself wearing rags. "You can't wear these!" she exclaimed, her voice high-pitched with horror.
"I am wearing them," Naruto replied, as though stating a simple fact.
"But shoujō, this is simply unacceptable!" the shopkeeper cried, straightening up and waving her hands dramatically. "A young lady must wear proper undergarments! Something ladylike, something that complements her outer attire!"
Naruto tilted her head slightly, her eyes narrowing as she considered the shopkeeper's words. "Ladylike?" she repeated, as though trying to comprehend the term.
"Yes, ladylike!" the shopkeeper insisted, her foreign accent becoming more pronounced in her passion. "Proper bras and panties that reflect the grace and elegance of a woman!"
Naruto considered this for a long moment. "But," she finally said, "toad boxers are efficient."
"Efficient, perhaps," the shopkeeper conceded, her voice trembling with the effort of remaining polite. "But they are not ladylike! They do not showcase the beauty of the female form! They do not—"
Naruto cut her off. "They cover what needs covering. Is that not sufficient?"
The shopkeeper looked as though she might faint. "Sufficient, yes, but—oh, heavens above! We cannot have a lovely young lady like yourself running around in... that!" She pointed at Naruto's toad boxers as though they were an affront to all of civilization.
Naruto blinked again. "I see no issue. I am functional."
The shopkeeper was now on the verge of a full-blown meltdown. "Functional?! My dear, being a woman is about more than just function! It is about form, elegance, and—oh, for the love of—" She took a deep breath, visibly calming herself. "You, young lady, are coming with me."
Before Naruto could protest, the shopkeeper grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her to the back of the store, where she began to pull out bras and panties in white, orange, and black. "These will do," the shopkeeper muttered to herself. "These will give you the proper support and—yes, even though you're an A cup, it's still important!"
Naruto stared at the selection of underwear as though it was a foreign object from another dimension. "I do not understand the necessity of these," she stated, her voice as deadpan as ever.
The shopkeeper turned to her, her expression one of exasperated patience. "Shoujō, trust me. One day, you will understand."
Naruto blinked slowly. "If you say so."
With that, the shopkeeper shoved the bras and panties into Naruto's hands, forcing her to the counter. Naruto, who still didn't quite understand the point of all this, simply allowed it to happen, her expression remaining as flat and emotionless as ever.
As Naruto exited the shop, now the reluctant owner of several sets of "proper ladylike attire," she couldn't help but feel slightly confused by the whole experience. Nevertheless, she continued on her way, her frilly black dress swishing around her legs as she walked, the shopkeeper's words echoing in her mind.
"Ladylike…" she murmured to herself, as though trying to solve a complex riddle. "Perhaps... toads are not ladylike."
The thought was unsettling, but she filed it away for later consideration as she continued on her way, her high heels clicking rhythmically against the cobblestone streets.
Naruto looked down at her wallet—her beloved Gama-chan, the little green frog purse that had seen better days. The poor thing was feeling uncomfortably light, as though it had gone on a severe diet. Those underwear had better be worth it, she thought with a sigh. Now, she had to somehow buy clothes with what little money she had left.
As she trudged through the busy streets of the merchant district, her frilly black dress rustling with each step, something caught her eye. A figure dressed in what could only be described as cat-themed clothing was lounging against a nearby wall, licking an ice cream cone with a sort of lazy, feline grace.
"Dattebayo," Naruto blinked, her glowing sapphire eyes zeroing in on the peculiar sight. It was Gaara's teammate—the boy with the cat clothes and makeup, who always seemed to exude an aura of weirdness that rivaled her own.
Kankuro, noticing the intense stare from the strange, emotionless girl, paused mid-lick. He frowned, recognizing her instantly. It was that creepy girl from the Leaf. "What do you want?" he asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
"Nothing," Naruto replied, her voice as flat as ever. "Just curious."
"About what?" Kankuro asked, growing more annoyed by the second.
"Are you a cat lover?" Naruto asked, tilting her head to the side as if genuinely pondering the question.
Kankuro nearly choked on his ice cream. "What?! No, I'm not a cat lover! What the hell gave you that idea?"
Naruto blinked slowly, processing his words. "But you behave like one," she stated, her tone completely serious. "You wear cat ears, you lick things like a cat, and your clothes... They resemble a cat's."
Kankuro stared at her in disbelief, his eye twitching. "It's not a cat costume! It's my puppet gear! And the face paint is war paint, not whiskers!"
Naruto continued to stare at him blankly, as though not fully convinced. "I see. So you are not a cat lover," she concluded, but her tone suggested she was filing the information away for further analysis.
Before Kankuro could launch into a tirade about how he was most definitely not a cat, a tall, serious-looking man appeared beside him. Baki, their team's sensei, gave Naruto a quick, scrutinizing glance before turning to Kankuro.
"Kankuro, we have a team meeting. Let's go," Baki said, his tone leaving no room for argument.
Kankuro gave Naruto one last, irritated look before turning on his heel and following Baki. "Yeah, whatever," he muttered, still annoyed by the bizarre interaction.
Naruto watched them leave, her expression unchanged. She had more pressing matters to attend to—like finding some clothes that wouldn't break the bank.
As she continued walking, her gaze landed on a small, somewhat shabby shinobi clothing shop. The sign above the door was faded, but the mannequins in the window displayed practical, if uninspired, ninja attire. Naruto sighed as she looked down at her wallet again. She needed clothes, but with what money?
Just as she was about to enter the shop, a familiar voice called out to her. "Oi, Loser."
Naruto turned to see Sasuke approaching, his hands casually shoved into his pockets. His appearance had changed since the last time she'd seen him—he was now wearing a attire, which consisted of a black, high-collared shirt with the Uchiha clan crest on the back, and white bandages with black belts tangled up to his elbows. His pants…that were connected to his shirt were also black, and he had wrapped his legs in bandages that gave him a more seasoned, battle-ready look.
"What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked, his tone more curious than condescending.
Naruto cocked her head to the side, her eyes fixed on his new outfit, her creepy, glowing eyes tracking him like some sort of hunting machine. "Your clothes… they are… interesting. Where can I acquire such attire?" she asked, completely ignoring his question.
Sasuke frowned slightly, confused by her sudden interest in fashion. "They're from the Uchiha storage," he explained, his voice calm. "My clan has all sorts of clothes, for civilians and shinobi alike."
Naruto's eyes widened slightly, her expression finally showing a hint of excitement. "Civil clothes and shinobi clothes?" she repeated, her tone almost eager.
"Hn," Sasuke grunted in affirmation, raising an eyebrow. "Why? Where are you going?"
Naruto didn't answer right away. Instead, she took a step closer to him, her eyes locking onto his with an unsettling intensity. "Give me some of them," she demanded, her voice taking on a robotic tone that made Sasuke shiver slightly.
Sasuke took a step back, his frown deepening. "Why should I?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I…am…uh…" Naruto hesitated for a moment, clearly searching for a reason. "Your teammate. Dattebayo," she added, as if that explanation would suffice.
"They belong to the Uchiha Clan," Sasuke replied, his tone flat as he tried to ignore the strange way Naruto was looking at him.
Naruto's mind raced as she tried to think of something that would convince him. Suddenly, an idea popped into her head. "I'll teach you a B-rank jutsu," she said, her voice completely serious.
Sasuke's eyes widened slightly, interest piqued. "You're sure?" he asked, his tone laced with skepticism.
"Indeed," Naruto replied, nodding robotically.
"What's the name of this technique?" Sasuke asked, now fully intrigued.
Naruto hesitated again, her eyes shifting slightly as she quickly came up with something. "Ori…ONJ," she stuttered, the words coming out more awkwardly than she intended. "But you cannot use this often. Only in serious situations. It's a powerful distraction. People may even die."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow, his curiosity now mixed with caution. "Sounds dangerous," he mused, considering the offer.
"Yes, indeed," Naruto said with a nod, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "Even Old Man Hokage is afraid of it."
Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment, weighing his options. Finally, he opened them and nodded. "Alright," he said, his voice decisive. "Tell me what you need, but I'll remove the Uchiha Clan symbol from them before giving them to you."
Naruto's eyes lit up in a way that was almost eerie. "Dattebayo," she said, her voice laced with an odd mix of satisfaction and robotic monotony.
As Sasuke walked away to fetch the clothes, Naruto allowed herself a small, almost imperceptible smile. It wasn't every day that she managed to outmaneuver Sasuke, and she couldn't wait to see what kind of cool clothes she'd be getting from the Uchiha storage.
But more than that, she was already planning how she'd explain to Sasuke what "ONJ" actually was. Maybe she could turn it into something… truly unforgettable.
TBC
Author Note: I hope you liked this chapter.
Look forward to the next chapter. It'll basically be...
Neji VS Sasuke.
Drop your thoughts in the review section.
Till next time!